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“You don’t wonder about me….”
*Like I wonder about you,* Jay thought, though he kept it to himself. He didn’t want to reveal just how desperate he felt. If Yoohan were even slightly curious, he would have discovered by now that Jay was Director Yoon. Despite his relentless work schedule, Jay found stolen moments to kiss him, a gesture far from casual. Yoohan would know that Jay had never been so fixated on anyone before.
“…and you don’t admit you like me. But why don’t I hate you?”
*Yeah, why don’t I hate you? Why don’t I hate that I’m the one who feels so intensely, putting everything on the line, while you stay distant and indifferent? Why don’t I resent being the one who’s so hopelessly drawn to you, even when you give me nothing in return?*
Jay was frustrated. He couldn’t understand why, after all this time, Yoohan still refused to admit his feelings. Was it the guilt Yoohan supposedly carried, the belief that he didn’t deserve anything good in his life? Did that guilt prevent him from acknowledging a love that was so evident?
Jay had always taken the lead in their relationship. He couldn't help but wonder if Yoohan was simply going along with it. Yet, every time Jay kissed him, Yoohan’s response was anything but indifferent.
Yoohan had noticed a pattern with Jay’s kisses—they were often abrupt and brief, leaving him wanting more as if to prompt him to take the next step. Each kiss was like a spark, igniting a fire within Yoohan that he struggled to contain. Jay's lips would barely touch his, a fleeting brush that sent shivers down Yoohan's spine, before pulling away just as quickly. It was maddening, the way Jay would leave him on the edge, breathless and yearning for more.
Yoohan's heart would race, his body leaning involuntarily towards Jay, seeking the warmth and connection that was always just out of reach. He would close his eyes, savoring the brief contact, the taste of Jay lingering on his lips, a silent promise of something deeper. But as much as his body reacted, his mind fought back, clinging to the remnants of his stubbornness. He told himself it was safer this way, to remain passive, to pretend he was just on the receiving end of Jay's advances rather than an active participant.
Yet, in those fleeting moments, his resolve would falter. His hands would twitch with the urge to pull Jay closer, to deepen the kiss and lose himself in the passion he felt simmering beneath the surface. He could feel Jay's frustration, the unspoken demand for reciprocation hanging heavy in the air, but he couldn't bring himself to cross that line. Admitting his feelings felt like opening a door to a flood he wasn't sure he could survive.
Jay's voice broke through Yoohan’s turbulent thoughts, laden with exasperation and raw emotion.
“It’s driving me crazy. It’s driving me crazy that I want to hear you say you like me no matter what.”
Those words hung in the air, a heavy truth that neither could ignore. Jay's frustration wasn't just with Yoohan's silence but with the profound impact Yoohan had on him. Jay's cold exterior, typically impenetrable, had been shattered by his feelings for Yoohan. And Yoohan, stubborn and guilt-ridden, was the only one who seemed oblivious to the depth of Jay's emotions.
Jay decided he would make Yoohan admit his feelings one way or another. If not with words, then Yoohan’s body would convey all that Jay needed to know. Jay stepped closer, determination etched into every line of his face, ready to break through Yoohan's defenses once and for all.
“You know why I like your moans?” Jay continued, his voice dropping to a husky whisper that sent shivers down Yoohan’s spine. “If you can’t say anything to me, my touch makes you honest.”
Yoohan’s eyes widened slightly at Jay’s words. He couldn’t deny the truth in them. His body’s reactions were beyond his control, betraying the feelings he refused to voice. Every time Jay touched him, it was as if a dam broke inside him, releasing all the pent-up emotions he tried so hard to suppress.
Jay’s hand reached out, gently caressing Yoohan’s cheek, his thumb brushing over his lips. “See? Even now, your body responds to me. You can’t hide it, Yoohan.”
Yoohan's breath hitched, his resolve wavering under Jay’s intense gaze. The touch was electric, igniting a fire that spread through his veins, making it impossible to maintain his facade. He closed his eyes, leaning into Jay’s touch, a soft moan escaping his lips.
“That’s it,” Jay murmured, his voice laced with a smug satisfaction. “You can't fool me with that stubborn act. Your body knows what it wants.”
Yoohan, ever stubborn, tried to muster a retort, but his body betrayed him. “I... you’re insufferable,” he managed to whisper, though his voice lacked conviction as he shivered under Jay’s touch.
Jay chuckled softly, his breath warm against Yoohan’s ear. “Maybe, but you like it. And you like me. You don’t have to say it. Your reactions are enough for now.”
Yoohan opened his eyes, meeting Jay’s triumphant gaze. There was no denying the connection between them, even if he couldn’t yet put it into words. He silently considered the depth of his feelings for Jay, a small part of him beginning to acknowledge the possibility of letting himself be loved.
As they stood there, the tension between them electric and undeniable, Yoohan knew that this was just the beginning. Jay’s persistence had cracked his stubborn exterior, and while he couldn’t yet bring himself to fully admit his feelings, the truth was becoming harder to ignore.