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Elena is not stupid.
Her papas have made sure of that. She is one of the best students in her class and probably the brightest, if she could be so bold. She is good at math, likes science, reads at an alarming rate, and understands three languages. Well, two and a half.
So she knows she's smart. And she also knows that her papas underestimated her. They rarely do that; they are proud of her intelligence and encourage her to succeed. But in this, they definitely underestimated her.
She knows she had a sister.
They tried to hide it from her, keep it a secret, but she found out. Now she just has to determine if she is going to tell them that she knows or discover on her own what happened to her sister and why she is hidden away.
It happened in the middle of the night. The dogs were whining because a storm was brewing and Elena woke up sweaty and uncomfortable, her mouth dry.
So she threw back the covers, crept to her door, and peeked down the hall. She wasn't scared. She was a big girl now.
The light was on in Tėti and Papi's room and she was about to rush there, perhaps get a drink from their bathroom and charm her way into spending the night with them (their bed was so big and comfy), when she heard voices in the kitchen down the stairs. She relaxed. Walking down the dark hallway and down the dark steps was easier if she knew Tėti and Papi were waiting for her.
So she began to walk, her hands outstretched to feel the walls, when she stopped short. Papi's voice was raised and she winced when she heard an empty bottle hit the empty sink, shattering. She was smart even then; she knew what that meant.
Tėti's voice was calm and even, gentle. But there was a tightness to it. She knew what that meant, too. And she knew that when they spoke in English, it meant she wasn't supposed to hear it. But she was a fast learner and spoke it better than anyone in her class. Her teacher was impressed.
"We can't bring her back," Tėti said. "We have to look forward."
"I can't," Papi said, his voice slurred and thick with tears. "Stop trying to make it alright with empty cliches."
"We have Elena now. She is our future."
"You thought I would forget Abigail just because we have a new daughter?"
"No," Tėti sighed, "that would be impossible."
"Just as it's impossible for you to feel guilt."
"That isn't true."
"She's gone and she's never coming back."
"No, she isn't, Will. But we are here, the two of us. And Elena."
"She's alone. No siblings. Like me."
"It's better than losing one."
"She already did."
"Will."
Then Papi broke down truly and Elena thought she heard a fist hitting a chest half-heartedly. She turned and rushed into her bedroom and hid beneath the covers, silently weeping for her lost sister.
Elena suspects Abigail is dead. That's probably what happened and why it upset Papi so much. Siblings don't just disappear. Life isn't a fairy tale with locked up maidens in towers and heroic orphans. Elena wonders if she should feel sadness that her sister is dead but she can't even imagine another girl in their house, loved equally by Tėti and Papi. It's selfish of her, but she's theirs. No one else's.
Or perhaps they couldn't adopt her. Perhaps her birth parents wanted her back. She has heard stories of things like that. Once she saw a documentary about baby farms and black markets and social services and it had scared her so bad, she cried in Tėti's arms for an hour before he calmed her and promised no one was coming to take her away. But perhaps someone had taken Abigail away.
Abigail. She knows it's an English name. American, maybe. Perhaps she is from before Papi and Tėti arrived in Elena's country. Perhaps she is still there now. Alone.
Elena shivers and for the first time, imagines what it would be like to have an older sister: someone to share secrets with and jokes about how silly their papas are; someone to brush and braid her hair; explain the weird parts of being a girl without blushing and making awkward faces like Papi or being so scientifically clinical like Tėti. Someone who is adopted like her; who understands.
One day she gets into an argument with her Papi. He's being overprotective, as usual, and when he gets irritated, he switches into poorly phrased Spanglish and she teases him for it. So he sends her to the guest room (not her room; they realized early on that she was quite content to sit quietly in her room with her books) and she stomps there, and just before she slams the door, she yells, "Are you gonna try to get rid of me like you did with Abigail?"
She doesn't see the look on his face, like his heart was breaking and a ghost walked into the room. Instead, she slams the door and throws herself on the bed and is ready for a good cry at the unfairness of it all when the door is all but ripped off his hinges.
She gasps and sits up, staring at her Papi, who looks nothing like him. His eyes are wild and his breathing short. His face is white as milk and his hands are shaking.
"Where did you hear that name?" he demands.
"What?" she asks stupidly.
He stalks to the bed and grabs her arm and for the first time in her little life, Elena is afraid.
"Abigail," he gasps, tears springing to his eyes, "where did you hear that name?"
"From you," she admits, her voice shaking. She is crying now. "Papi, I heard you say it to Tėti once. I'm sorry! I won't say it again! Please."
Papi stares at her, through her really, and Elena shivers. His grip on her arm is starting to hurt and she whimpers. Then she is saved.
The front door opens and she hears Tėti's familiar footfall and the clicking of their dogs' nails on the floor.
"Will? Elena?" Tėti calls and she sobs, more in an effort to alert him than out of pain or fear.
He rushes into the guest room and stops short in the doorway. Papi releases her arm and steps back, the dark spell over him gone. He runs a hand over his face and suddenly his legs seem to give out: he bends and loosely sits on the floor, his face in his hands. He breathes heavily and wetly.
Teti stares and looks torn between his two loves, both obviously in need of comfort. Instead, he looks to Elena and says calmly, "What happened?"
Elena rubs at her arm and bits her lip. She looks down at her weeping Papi, curled into himself, and suddenly feels sorry for him. He looks young and rather pathetic. She never had thought of him that way before.
"We should've told her," Papi gasps in English. "We never should have hid it from her."
Tėti pales and his mouth goes thin.
"Elena, what happened?"
She sniffs and wipes at her eyes.
"I know about Abigail," she admits softly. "I know you had another daughter."
Oddly enough, Tėti visibly relaxes and runs a hand through his greying hair. There's a still a thin braid in it from when he let Elena play with it the other night.
"What do you know about Abigail?" he asks gently.
Elena shrugs.
"I just know that you had her and she's gone now. That's it."
Tėti stares at her for a long time, his eyes steady and unwavering before sighing. He crouches in front of Papi and runs a hand through his cropped hair. It's starting to grey in places as well.
"It's alright, Will," he whispers in English. "It was bound to happen."
Papi nods and sniffs. He lifts his head and he and Tėti gaze at each other, speaking to one another with merely a look. Elena doesn't know how they do it but sometimes they're able to hold entire conversations that way. Perhaps they're psychic, though Tėti told her that doesn't exist.
Suddenly Papi turns towards her and his eyes widen.
"Elena!" he exclaims and rushes towards her, taking her arm gently in his hands. He runs a finger over the red mark his hand had left on her upper arm and tears spill again. "I'm so sorry," he begs. "Baby, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Papi," Elena says, anxious to calm him. "It doesn't hurt."
"I'll never hurt you, alright? I promise, I swear it. I never want you to be afraid of me or Tėti. Understand? God, I'm so sorry," he rambles, kissing her hair repeatedly.
"It's okay," she keeps insisting. "I'm sorry, too."
She feels Tėti's hand on the side of her head and his lips kiss her hair on the other side.
"I am sorry, as well," he says to both of them. "We should've been honest with you, Elena."
She turns her large brown eyes to Tėti and swallows.
"Is she... what happened to Abigail?"
"She died," Tėti says and Elena swallows.
"A long time ago?"
"A long time ago."
"In America?"
"Yes."
"And you loved her?" she asks, turning back to her Papi.
He smiles his sad little smile, the one he gets sometimes when his mind is wandering and Elena pulls him back, anxious that he stay in the present with her and Tėti.
"Very much," he whispers. "I still do."
"I'm sorry," she says again.
He kisses her.
"Don't be," he says gently. "I'm not so sad when I am with you."
"Don't forget Tėti," Elena teases.
Something odd passes over Papi's face before he smiles and says, "I never could, even if I wanted to."