D’ravus was cold. That was his first thought as he awoke.
Then he registered the hard, wooden floor beneath him and the gentle sound of Lissa’s breathing next to him.
Lissa – his best friend, the other half of his soul; the one who was there for him when nights were cold.
He rolled over closer to her, desperate to feel her presence, until his arm found her leg. His hand rested on her thigh, his fingertips touching the thin line of skin exposed below her shorts and above her boots. Her skin was so warm…
She pushed his hand away.
“Mmph… Liss…” He brought his hand back up, his cold touch once again finding her warm skin. “It’s cold in here. Why’re you all the way over there?” he mumbled. Usually Lissa was the first one to get cold, always clinging to him for warmth.
“D’ravus,” she said shakily.
That was not Lissa’s voice.
“I’m Chikito,” she continued.
D’ravus’s eyes shot open. He pulled his hand away faster than he could think and shot up to a sitting position. He subconsciously raised his hands as if surrendering. “Oh, gods, you’re not Lissa…”
D’ravus was not a deep sleeper – usually he awoke at the slightest things and was constantly ready to be on guard – but how asleep he must have been to mistake Chikito Heathcliff for his wife! In this strange place too!
Chikito looked mortified, her face red as she chuckled and said, “Yeah…”
D’ravus rubbed his eyes to get rid of the final vestiges of sleep. “Oof, that’s embarrassing,” he said, laughing internally at himself. Even if it had been Lissa next to him, why had he suddenly acted like he was fifteen years old again? “Sorry ’bout that.” He fought off the urge to make a teasing remark about how ‘it wasn’t every day that he woke up next to a pretty Miqo’te lady he wasn’t married to, so anyone would see how he’d made the mistake’ – he had the perfect wording for it and all, but he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, so he refrained from any such teasing.
In retrospect, Chikito looked uncomfortable anyway, so he should have just said it.
A yawn slipped past his lips, and he made an effort to stretch his limbs. Immediately, his left leg screamed out in pain, and the memory of the past day rushed to his mind all at once. They were on a ship, captured by the cultists. He winced and grabbed his leg instinctively, taking all of his strength not to spew out a string of profanities in front of Chikito.
“Are you okay?” she asked, sounding concerned.
“I… Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine in a minute.” He would be. Or he would at least be fine enough to pretend he was fine, and she wouldn’t need to worry about him. Chikito had enough on her mind without adding his problems to her load.
“What’s wrong with your leg? Is it broken?” Chikito pushed, not willing to accept the easy answer.
“No, it’s fine.” Was she going to keep asking questions like this? He really didn’t want to talk about it. Couldn’t they talk about her instead? “My leg is fine,” he repeated. “It’s just… a little inconvenient pain, that’s all.”
Chikito looked upset, and D’ravus wished he could just reach over and wipe that frown off of her adorable face. She didn’t deserve any of this.
“So…” he said quietly, “Looks like what happened in that basement wasn’t a bad nightmare, after all.”
“I- unfortunately, no…” Chikito replied softly. “I’m sorry, D’ravus.”
Why was she apologizing? He hated hearing people apologize for things they didn’t do. Sorry for what? Sorry for Lord Heathcliff and all he was doing? Sorry for Luka betraying them when they needed him the most? Sorry for Lissa being imprisoned and shown off in front of him, caged like an animal? None of that was Chikito’s responsibility to apologize for. D’ravus ran his fingers through his hair and let out a groan of frustration. “It’s… These things happen, Chikito. Don’t apologize. Really, I should be the one saying sorry to you… I should have realized sooner that Luka was lying to us.”
“I told Y’shtola that I was suspicious of him…” Chikito said. “But she said she’d known him for over five years, and she trusted him… But he betrayed even her in the end…”
Oh, gods, D’ravus didn’t want to talk about this…
“I don’t understand…” Chikito continued. “Why did he do it? I thought you were friends. How could this happen?” Maybe she didn’t mean it judgingly, but D’ravus took it that way – it was as if she was saying ‘if you’d been a better friend, this wouldn’t have happened.’
“He was my best friend,” D’ravus said darkly. “I don’t know, Chikito…”
She looked like she was about to start crying. “It’s not your fault, D’ravus,” she said.
“It’s his fault,” he replied simply. “He used my trust in him against me, and he did the same to Y’shtola. But pinning the blame isn’t going to do us any good. It doesn’t change the fact that what happened happened.”
“You… you didn’t look surprised,” Chikito said.
“What are you talking about?”
“When Lukaroshi revealed his betrayal,” she clarified. “You didn’t look surprised.”
“Not surprised, no.” Luka did have a history of being an ungrateful bastard. “Just… so ** angry. I never thought he’d go this far.” D’ravus was so disgruntled that he forgot about his attempts not to swear in front of Chikito.
“Has anything at all like this ever happened before?” Chikito asked.
“Not like this… but Luka used to have issues…” D’ravus said slowly. He really didn’t want to talk about this right now. He didn’t know if he could handle it. But Chikito deserved to know, so he swallowed his conflicting emotions. “He used to be – how do I say this? – uh… concerningly alcoholic.”
Chikito tilted her head curiously and listened intently.
D’ravus took a few deep breaths to keep from losing his mind, and he continued slowly, “It started out as just normal drinking – I did it, his father did it; we spent a lot of time together drinking. You know… guy things. But then Luka… he had insecurities, he worried about not being good enough for those around him, he had bad nightmares and weird premonitions… It was easier for him to drink the feelings away than to learn how to process them and work through them. And the drinking made the negative feelings worse, and it just spiraled from there.”
“But… he eventually stopped?” Chikito asked.
“Shortly after Lady Heathcliff began living with us, maybe a couple of months at most,” D’ravus said, “there was one night that was particularly bad. Luka came home alone from a tavern in the middle of the night, too drunk to stand properly, and Lady Heathcliff was still awake.
“Luka acted like a drunk idiot in front of her. He made her uncomfortable, and when she started screaming for help, he physically put his hands on her and could have very well hurt her or worse. Luckily, Lissa heard her from upstairs and quickly came to the scene.
“Lady Heathcliff spent the night in Lissa’s room, and Lissa stayed up watching Luka to make sure he went to sleep without any more trouble. I came home from a trip the next day, and Luka came to me before anyone else could tell me what happened. He collapsed on his knees in front of me and told me he never wanted to drink again. He begged me to help him, begged me to never let it happen again. He apologized over and over again, and at this point I didn’t know what had happened. But I dropped everything and promised Luka that I would help him.
“Lissa explained it all, and I made helping him my first priority. It was rough at first, but… he got better in time. He started opening up about his issues, at least to me, and he was doing a lot better.
“But after Lady Heathcliff left… things started to go downhill for Luka again. Syegzidford was sad a lot of the time even though he tried not to show it. I guess Luka got really depressed from seeing his brother so down. Luka and Syeg… those two argue so much, but they love each other beyond comprehension. Typically when one of them isn’t doing well, it shows in the other.
“Luka couldn’t handle it anymore, and shortly after Lady Heathcliff’s departure, he left as well. He buried himself in work for the Scions and the Grand Company. He started drinking again, that ** idiot.” D’ravus had his hand clenched in a tight fist. He had to use all of his energy to remember that it was Chikito in front of him – not Luka. He couldn’t lose his calm and punch her.
“I went to visit him as much as I could,” he continued. “He still opened up to me about things, but… I couldn’t help him anymore. It was like he just didn’t care about his wellbeing at all. He refused to return to Limsa, he refused to talk to his brothers. Even his parents tried to help him, and he brushed them off. I was pretty much the only person from home he would talk to.
“But then he met Elise Siegfried. I don’t know exactly what is was about her, but she somehow got some sense into Luka’s head. Maybe it’s some special thing that hot Viera women have, I don’t know. But she got him to stop drinking again. He started to seem happy again. He came back home, Elise with him. To this day, I’m still not really sure whether Luka had a crush on her or she was just a good friend. Elise had known Lissa too, so she quickly became a part of the family.
“Luka was his old cheery, stupid, flirty self again, and things seemed right. He had issues occasionally, but he would tell me about them before he could do anything stupid.
“It’s been a year now since he returned. And I thought that things were better. But then he goes and does this…” D’ravus shook his head tiredly. “I’m just so exhausted…” he said as he finished. “I’m sick of cleaning up after his idiotic life choices. And now… he has the nerve to get Lissa involved. If anything happens to her, I will kill him myself. I will make him feel my fingers against his throat, tightening until he can’t feel anything anymore-“
He felt Chikito’s hand on his shoulder. “D’ravus…” she spoke softly. She looked scared.
Oh, why had he said that out loud?
D’ravus took a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, Chikito. Er, sorry for… dumping this all on you. And getting so graphic. You’re terrified enough as it is, I’m sure. I should be trying to comfort you, not whatever this is. I’m sorry… I’ve been a bit of a wreck. This is so unlike me.”
His mouth started watering uncontrollably, and his vision began to turn black. He became aware that he was either going to pass out or throw up.
Oh, gods, he hated sea travel.
“D’ravus, really, are you okay?” Chikito asked, her voice anxious and terrified.
There was no point in hiding it. It wouldn’t do anything to lessen Chikito’s burden if he vomited all over her without warning. “Um… I guess… now would be… as good a time as any,” he said, “to tell you… I can’t handle sea travel. Being on any kind of sea vessel… makes me really queasy.” It was one of the things he hated the most about himself. Why, of all things, did he have to get such bad seasickness? With injuries, he could hide them and power through the pain; with fever, he could force down medicine and endure it; with exhaustion, he could at least force a facade for a while – but seasickness never failed to render him utterly useless. If there was one thing he hated, it was feeling useless.
Chikito somehow got an empty old metal bucket and placed it in front of him before sitting down by his side.
“I’m really sorry…” he said, his voice barely registering. “You shouldn’t have to see me like this…”
It was humiliating.
And worse than that, it must have been so uncomfortable for her. She didn’t deserve this.
“It’s okay,” she said softly. D’ravus felt her hand on his back, rubbing gently. “I know you would do the same for me…”
He coughed, a string of saliva dripping from his mouth, and let out a groan. “All right… But nothing that happens here leaves this room… okay?”
Chikito replied in a voice so adorable it made his heart hurt; “Deal.”
(❁´◡`❁)
The hours ticked by slowly. D’ravus lost consciousness several times – between his seasickness and the pain in his leg, he was quite delirious. When he looked up, sometimes he imagined Lissa was in front of him, but each time, she would disappear the next instant. Then he would get worried – where was she? Was she all right?
Chikito was a constant presence at his side. D’ravus could tell she was trying to be comforting but didn’t quite know how.
There was a lot of silence – which was normally fine, but this silence was overwhelming. He wished Chikito would keep talking, if only to distract him from the pain.
Right, the pain…
There wasn’t pain in his leg anymore…
He also couldn’t feel anything in his leg anymore. He couldn’t move it at all.
He started to panic. He needed to get up and walk around, or his leg would likely fall into a permanent sleep. But any attempt to stand was futile – his left leg just didn’t move.
“Uh, Chikito…” he whispered, his voice shaking. His breathing was heavy – he felt trapped, and his body was entering a panic mode.
“What’s wrong?” Chikito asked, moving to his side at once.
“I-I can’t move my leg…”
Chikito looked scared. “Is there anything I can do?”
Of course, there was nothing she could do. “Not unless you have some serious medical experience that I didn’t know about…” he said, realizing how useless telling her had been. But, perhaps he didn’t want her to fix it; perhaps he only wanted her to know he wasn’t okay. “I was a bit untruthful when I said it was fine. Doesn’t hurt anymore, though… Just can’t feel it at all…” He took in a few deep breaths in an attempt to regain his composure. “I… I think I’ll be okay. If I just wait it out, I have to be okay. But just… promise me… you’ll take care of yourself, okay?”
“I will,” Chikito said, putting her hands on his arm.
“When you see Lord Heathcliff… I don’t want you to get hurt.” He wouldn’t be able to protect her, but he needed to know she would be okay. His own pain he could handle, but if anything serious happened to her, he didn’t think he’d be able to move on.
“I’ll be safe, D’ravus, I promise,” she said, her eyes sparkling with tears. “But you have to be safe too. You have to let someone examine your leg then. If we get away from this safely, you have to go see a doctor, okay?”
If that would make her happy, then he would oblige. He nodded, letting his eyes fall shut and his head rest against the wall. “‘Kay, it’s a deal then…” he said.
“Are you tired?” Chikito asked.
He hadn’t even realized how tired he truly was until now. But suddenly it felt like his entire body was leaden, and he craved sleep like a drug. “Yeah…”
Chikito brought her hand up to gently pat his head. “Rest then…” she said softly.
D’ravus’s ears twitched around her hand, and he felt embarrassingly relaxed in her touch. “Oh, gods, you’re adorable,” he mumbled with a tired chuckle. “I get it, why Illyus and Nalah always want to protect you so bad.”
Chikito giggled. “You know,” she said after a pause, “I’m glad we got stuck in here together. I’m sorry you haven’t been feeling well, but I’m glad we got to talk like this. Thank you for opening up to me, D’ravus. I hope it’s okay if I think of you as family now…”
Of course she was family. She would always be family.
He drifted off into sleep before he could respond, but he didn’t think he needed to say anything – she knew.
(❁´◡`❁)
Hours of sleep and illusion later, D’ravus was pulled out of the cell-like room, blindfolded, and taken off the ship. They dragged him at first, but once they were on solid land again, they pushed him forward, expecting him to walk on his own. He was still blindfolded, and a cult member was holding onto his arm to guide him in the right direction.
Mere seconds after leaving the ship, his pathetic limp gave out, and his leg completely stopped functioning. A cult member screamed at him, but he barely heard it. He was on his knees, retching into what felt like sand beneath him. What little he had left in his stomach was expelled entirely.
Before he could even lift his head, he was being pulled up by strong arms and dragged away.
It was one thing to let his guard down around Chikito – she was kind and gentle, and with her it could just be their little secret – but D’ravus did not show weakness around his enemies. On the rare times he did, it was serious.
So this, this was serious. He hated it – hated being weak and helpless.
Gods, he hoped the others were all right.
(❁´◡`❁)
When they finally removed his blindfold, he was alone in a dark, cold dungeon cell. They brought him food – which might not have been the worst ever – but right now all it was was more substance for him to throw up.
He slept a lot – and not a restful sleep but a feverish sleep plagued by awful nightmares.
He had one particularly bad nightmare that kept repeating. In it, he was back at his old home in the Black Shroud from when he and Lissa had first gotten married. Lukaroshi was there, only ten years old like he’d been at the time. The one part that repeated the most was the image of Luka sitting over a pregnant Lissa with a knife in his hand – the image of Luka repeatedly driving the knife into her neck, blood spewing all over. He tried to stop it, tried to do something, but he couldn’t reach them in time. And the more he screamed, the more gruesome the images became.
It was just a nightmare, it was just a nightmare… It wasn’t real, it wasn’t real…
D’ravus’s whole body shivered and shook, completely unable to calm down. At least on the ship, he had known that Chikito was okay. Now he had nothing to hold onto. Chikito and Lissa could have been dead by now for all he knew.
He heard the sound of a woman coughing in the cell to his left. He pulled himself over, leaning to the tiny, barred window between the cells. “Who’s there?” he questioned.
The woman moved closer to the window. “Hm?”
“Y’shtola? Is that you?”
“D’ravus,” she returned the greeting.
“Are you okay?” he asked immediately.
“Yes, I am fine,” she said. “How are you doing?”
“Uh… been better,” was all he could say. Then he remembered the situation Y’shtola was in. Lukaroshi had been her friend too. He didn’t want to cause her extra stress, so he forced himself to add, “I’m doing fine, though.”
“Well, hang in there,” Y’shtola replied. “Lissa has a plan, and we’ll be out of here soon.” She sounded so calm and sure of her words. Either she was better at acting than D’ravus was, or she really did believe what she was saying.
In the basement, when D’ravus had approached Lissa in her cage, she had whispered something to him-
“Ravus… Don’t do anything stupid, please. I have a plan… Trust me.”
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her. But these cult people were stronger than she realized.
“How do you know that?” D’ravus asked in response to Y’shtola. “Did you see her?”
“Yes. She’s safe, and she is going to get the rest of us out of here as well.” She sounded so sure.
“Did she tell you what the plan is?”
“She did,” Y’shtola responded. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you in case you tried to stop her. But now, I suppose there’s nothing you could do at this point.”
“Well, what was the plan then?” D’ravus demanded, getting rather annoyed at her stalling.
But instead of answering, she quickly turned away and said, “Shh, someone’s coming.”
D’ravus silenced himself at the sound of approaching footprints – inwardly he let out a groan. Part of him wished that the cloaked cult member would stop at his cell just to give him something to take his anger out on; instead, the cloaked figure walked past his cell and continued on without so much as a glance in his direction. Perhaps that was for the best, though. His body was still trembling uncontrollably, and he didn’t have nearly enough energy to get into a fight.
As soon as he was sure the cloaked figure was out of earshot, D’ravus said quietly to Y’shtola, “We’re in the clear now. What were you going to say?”
No sound came from the other side of the wall. Y’shtola had moved in the cell, and D’ravus couldn’t see her anymore through the window.
“Y’shtola,” he said a bit louder. “Y’shtola…”
Still nothing. Did something happen to her? Or was she just ignoring him?
“Y’shtola Rhul, answer me right now,” he said, raising his voice. His body’s trembling came across in his voice as he spoke louder. “I wasn’t done with this conversation…” He let out a frustrated groan. “Y’shtola, what was the plan?”
Still no response.
D’ravus gave up, slumping hopelessly against the cold, stone wall. Oh, well. At least it seemed like Lissa was doing well. It did very little to ease his anxious mind, but it was something at least.
If he had felt better, he could have come up with some sort of plan himself. But every minute he didn’t feel nauseous was a minute his body wanted to spend sleeping, so that was out of the question. He had no choice but to wait for someone else to rescue him.
If Y’shtola was so sure about Lissa having an escape plan, then he believed her. But Lissa’s plans had a tendency to be reckless and contingent on very specific conditions. If her mysterious plan failed, what then? Would she be safe then? Would any of them make it out of here alive?
What would happen to Chikito? Was she okay? Where was Raun? Was he struggling down here, trapped in the darkness like this? Perhaps he and Chikito were together – then everything would have to be fine – he would protect her, and she would keep him from losing to his fear of the dark.
Yes… thinking such thoughts calmed his mind briefly, and he drifted off into another restless sleep.
(❁´◡`❁)
The next time D’ravus was fully awake, someone was in his cell, shaking him, asking him if he was okay, telling him to get up. He forced his eyes open and willed his limbs not to act as if they were made of lead. It was Gyoldbert who shook him awake, and the Viera was now gazing into his eyes with a look of urgency.
Seeing Gyoldbert in his current state made D’ravus wonder how bad he himself looked. Gyoldbert’s pale skin and white hair were flecked with dirt and grease, and his once-pristine white outfit was torn in places, covered in dirt and blood (not of his own; the blood was his little brother’s) as well.
“Will you believe it?” Gyoldbert said. “The stars have blessed us, and Lissa has pulled through. We are going to make it out of here after all.”
D’ravus needed a minute to process what was going on. “Huh?” was all that came out of his mouth.
“Are you all right? Can you stand?” Gyoldbert asked, examining D’ravus.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” he replied. Then quieter, he added, “Might… need help walking, though… My leg, it’s sort of broken.”
“Ah, which one? Perhaps I can help a bit.”
“Er, no, I don’t think so,” D’ravus said, shaking his head. He couldn’t let Gyoldbert see his leg. “It needs medical attention – healing won’t help at this point.”
“But it may provide some temporary relief,” Gyoldbert argued. “D’ravus, you’re shaking – let me help you…” His voice almost sounded pleading.
So D’ravus gave in. He felt Gyoldbert’s hand rest on his leg, a rush of aether entering his body. For a moment, his leg screamed out in pain, but then it faded and felt almost soothing. He let out an involuntary sigh of contentment.
“How is that?” Gyoldbert asked.
D’ravus swallowed. “It feels good. Thanks.”
Gyoldbert nodded. “Of course. Now, we should get moving. We’ll have a medical doctor examine your leg as soon as we get home. For now, let’s focus on making our way out of here, all right?”
D’ravus nodded, allowing Gyoldbert to help him to his feet.
Everything would be all right.
He tried to repeat those words to himself.
Everything would be all right.