Chapter Text
Shoto thinks he’s a good kid. At least, that’s what he believes. As long as he thinks it, it must be true. The sleeping boy next to him mumbles, grasping onto the front of his shirt as he says, “Shoto…”
Hanta. Shoto’s boyfriend. Is it official? Yes? To Shoto’s father? No.
One of the things Shoto doesn’t think is that his father is accepting of boys who love boys. Gay people. His father definitely does not like gay people.
Sometimes, Shoto wonders if his father likes him. But Shoto doesn’t like to think about it in case it is actually true. Because then, Shoto doesn’t know what he would do.
Hanta’s eyes open, his lashes fluttering as he stares up at Shoto. “Mm. What time is it?”
“5:30AM.” Shoto says, “You can go back to sleep if you want.” Hanta shakes his head and sits up, rubbing his eyes.
“You okay?” Hanta asks. Shoto nods. “Okay. Why’re you up so early?”
“My father needs me to go on a mission later.” Hanta groans, leaning his head on Shoto’s shoulder. He never likes it when Shoto goes on missions–he’s constantly paranoid about whether or not he’ll get hurt. “It won’t take long.”
Hanta shakes his head. “You always say that and then you’re gone for hours.” He looks up at Shoto. “I want you to stay .” He whines like a child.
Shoto smiles.” C’mon. Get up. Bakugo’s already been up and down the halls yelling at us to get ready.” Hanta rolls his eyes, but gets out of bed with Shoto. They go to the bathroom and brush their teeth, and then Shoto grabs his clothes, and Hanta gets changed in the bathroom.
They may be dating, but they don’t change in front of each other, which Shoto likes. He doesn’t like people to see his body, the scars from years of abuse from his father.
Today is school. Shoto likes school. He thinks school is a good thing. He pulls on his uniform and checks his bag. Even though it’s 5:30, he doesn’t want to be rushing around like he and Hanta always do in the mornings, especially on school days.
Hanta steps out of the bathroom after checking whether Shoto is decent or not, and as Shoto looks at himself in the mirror, two arms wrap around his waist from behind, and Hanta’s head appears on his shoulder.
“I hate being shorter than you. I need to give off taller boyfriend energy and put my chin on the top of your head.” Shoto smiles as he feels Hanta’s lips press against his neck.
“I could lean down?” Shoto suggests, making Hanta laugh.
Hanta’s hand moves to Shoto’s cheek, and soon Shoto’s head is turned, and he’s kissing Hanta. Shoto likes this. He thinks he could do this every day. And he wants to. He wants to spend every day with Hanta, doing things like this. Soft, gentle kissing that can sometimes turn into making out, but also sometimes doesn’t. He believes this is the best thing that’s happened to him.
And that’s something that’s definitely true.
They pull away, and head downstairs, where Bakugo and Midoriya are arguing about…something. They always argue, and then make out after. Shoto knows. He’s seen them in the janitor’s closet. He’s not really sure why they choose such an obvious hiding place, but to each their own.
“I said to put the butter in the pan!” Bakugo shouts.
“I did!”
“You put it in the fucking container!” Bakugo groans, holding his face in his hands. He looks over at Hanta and Shoto. “Please say you two have fucking common sense.”
Hanta laughs and moves away from Shoto to help Bakugo and Midoriya. Shoto sits down, tapping his nails against the countertop. It’s nice in the mornings. Shoto thinks he should wake up early all the time. It gets him away from everyone yelling and screaming once they get up.
Bakugo groans, leaning against the counter. “How’re you, Icy-Hot?”
“Good.” Shoto looks at the bags underneath Bakugo’s eyes. “Have you slept?”
Bakugo shakes his head. “Stupid dreams or whatever.” He cracks his back. “When’s your mission?”
“After school.” Shoto says.
“What is it even about?” Shoto shrugs. All he’s been told is that his father wanted him to go on a mission and to go to Endeavour’s agency right after school ends. “Yeah, cause God forbid your father tells you shit.” Shoto rolls his eyes.
“Bakugo, you can take over now!” Hanta shouts. Bakugo turns around and walks back over to the stove, and Hanta sits down next to Shoto. “Mm. I’m tired.”
“Go sleep on the couch.” Shoto says, “We’ve got hours until school starts.”
Hanta groans, stretching. He yawns as he says, “Come with me.”
Shoto smiles and walks over to the couch with Hanta. He sits down, and Hanta lays on him, his head on Shoto’s chest.
“Mm. Love you.” Hanta closes his eyes, his fingers interlaced in Shoto’s hair.
“Love you too.” Shoto murmurs, leaning his head back and going on his phone.
Hanta falls asleep quickly—and Shoto guesses he’ll be out for a while. He’s a very heavy sleeper.
“You’re so gay.” Shoto rolls his eyes at Bakugo’s words.
“Touchè.” Bakugo glares at him as Midoriya walks around the corner. “What did you make, Midoriya?” Shoto asks.
“Breakfast!” Midoriya carries the tray in.
Bakugo grabs it from the bottom. “Careful, idiot, you’ll drop it.”
“I’m holding it how you told me to hold it!” Midoriya protests.
“Yeah, badly. ” Bakugo takes the tray from his boyfriend and puts it on the coffee table. Shoto watches, Hanta sleeping on him, as they both eat a pancake each.
Midoriya looks at Shoto and laughs. “Todoroki, how are you going to eat like that?”
“Just pass me a pancake.” Shoto holds out his hand. Midoriya puts a pancake in it and Shoto takes a bite out of it. eating it. “Mm. It’s good.”
“Shove it in his mouth, maybe it’ll wake him up.” Bakugo says. Shoto rolls his eyes and Midoriya gives him a disapproving look. “What? I’d shove a pancake in your mouth to wake you up.”
“How romantic.” Midoriya says. Shoto smiles, he likes seeing Bakugo and Midoriya bantering like this. It’s different from how they used to banter—it’s healthier, and sweet, in a way. They keep on arguing until Hanta stirs, which causes the two of them to look over at Shoto.
“Mm. How long did I sleep?” He asks, looking up at Shoto.
Bakugo scoffs. “About all of five minutes.” This earns him a glare from Shoto, but he doesn’t seem to care–he just walks back into the kitchen. Sometimes, Shoto wonders if it’s his second home.
Hanta ignores him. “When’s school?” Shoto holds up two fingers. Two hours. Hanta groans and presses his head against Shoto’s chest. “I can’t wait that long.”
“Well, you’re going to have to.” Shoto leans down and kisses Hanta’s forehead. “I need a shower, can you get up, please?” He tried to sound as nice as he can–but he really just needs a shower.
Hanta smiles and nods, sitting up on the sofa. “I’ll just be down here.” Shoto nods and heads upstairs. Without Hanta near him, though, his thoughts from before soon invade his mind. His father. Why does he want Shoto at the front of his agency? Does he have some ulterior motive? Is there some odd method behind his plans? Or, does he just want to see his son, and doesn’t know how to express those feelings? Shoto realises how difficult it’s been for his father to open up to his children recently, how difficult it’s been for his father to accept the blame for his actions. It’s been slow, and Shoto’s sure his father is far off of being a good man, but he’s improving.
Shoto’s torn, though. He wants to forgive his father–he wants to have the heart to–but he can’t. He’s not sure if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing. On one side, Natsuo, Shoto’s older brother, seems fine with pushing dad away. On the other, Fuyumi, Shoto’s older sister, is always there for her whole family, not excluding dad.
Where does his mother stand? Shoto doesn’t know. His father isn’t a topic he brings up much at their limited meetings. Most of the time, they talk about school, his siblings, and his friends. But other than speaking about Fuyumi’s job at a pre-school, and Natsuo’s girlfriend he won’t let his father meet, home life isn’t something he speaks about. His mother’s therapist has warned Shoto before that any mention of his father, or his general life at home, would limit, and even increase her recovery time. Shoto doesn’t want that to happen–not when he’s so close to having his mother back.
His hand goes up to instinctively touch his scar, the one on the left side of his face. My mother–my own mother. Scarred me for life. She had burned him, then tried to save him with her ice quirk in a rush. That was what had caused the scar. They didn’t speak about that in their sessions together, either. Sometimes, for a while, she’d stare at it, tears welling in her eyes. Shoto was quick to switch the subject at those points.
One thing he knows about recovery now is that it isn’t linear. Some days, he feels like welcoming his father home with open arms, and maybe even introducing him to Hanta (although, he’ll be the first to admit he hasn’t the balls for that), but on other days, he feels like shouting and yelling, louder than he ever has before. He feels like yelling at his father for what he did, berating him and screaming that he needs to do better.
“Deep in thought, huh?” The sound of Jiro’s voice makes Shoto jump. He turns to look at her, and she smiles. “You alright, Todoroki?”
Shoto nods. “Yeah. Sorry, you just made me jump a little.” Shoto forces a smile onto his face. In fact, he’s grateful for the conversation–for the distraction from his thoughts. Shoto isn’t a huge fan of talking, but it’s better than being consumed by his thoughts. “I didn’t know you woke up so early.”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. I’m only up early for band practice–me, Denki and Tokoyami are trying to start it up again. If you get a chance to speak to Bakugo, ask him about it!” Shoto nods, and a real smile creeps up. He can’t deny that he loves the fact that his class is so interconnected–and everyone is close with one another (except for Mineta–but that purple freak could fuck off, in Shoto’s humble opinion).
“Will do.” He turns and goes to his room, getting straight to the bathroom, remembering something his mother had once said.
Rei turns to Shoto. “Look, sometimes when I need to clear my thoughts, I take a hot, hot shower. The nurses don’t like the idea of it, but it makes me so free, it distracts me, y’know. That, and talking to you.”
Shoto smiles. “I like talking to you, too, mom.” A ghost of a smile comes up on Rei’s face, and she brushes a strand of hair out of her son’s face, her touch lingering on his scar.
“I’m so sorry, Sho…” Her voice trails off, and her breath hitches in her throat. She’s going to cry–Shoto knows it.
“Hey, how about we play another round of Scrabble?” Her eyes basically light up, and she nods quickly. He gets out the board, and they start playing.
When it’s Shoto’s time to leave, his mother pulls him close. “I love you. I love you so much, and I’m so proud of what you’ve become. When I’m out of here, I’m going to do my best to make up for my years away, okay?”
Shoto looks at his mother. “No, mom.” Her face falters. “You don’t have to. It’s not your fault. Okay? You don’t have to make up for anything because it was never your fault, you hear me?” She nods, tears forming in her eyes. “No–don’t cry–”
“They’re happy tears. Sho.” She smiles, sniffing. “Happy tears. I love the man you’ve become. You’re such a good hero.” She pulls him into a hug and kisses the crown of his head. “And even if you’re nobody else’s hero, you’re my hero.”
You’re my hero. Shoto recites it as he moves his pen around in class. He’s lucky nobody’s allowed to look behind them, because then they’ll see the tears forming in his eyes.
He wants a normal family. Not just ‘normal’ as in a family that has no problems—no family is without its problems, but he wants a family that’s alright. Better than his. His fucked up family with a father that doesn’t care about his kids enough to deserve them, and a mother that went mad and poured boiling water over her own kid’s face because he resembled his father too much.
Shoto doesn’t mind if he himself isn’t normal. He doesn’t have to be normal. Not to be happy. And right now, with Hanta, he is happy. Every time that he goes home, however, and sees the defeated look in his sister’s face when she remembers that their father doesn’t care enough to thank her for upholding the entire family on her own two shoulders, he’s reminded how bad it all really is.
At least he can forget. With Hanta, he can push past everything. He can forget that his family is broken beyond repair, he can forget that he has a deceased older brother he doesn’t remember, that apparently tried to kill him, he can forget that his sister is trying so hard to achieve what Shoto hopes and dreams will one day happen, and he can forget that his other brother is currently trying to leave the country and marry his girlfriend, away from everyone in his family.
He brushes away his tears before they can hit the test paper, and finishes the last question. He sniffs as quietly as he can, brings up the sleeves of his blazer to wipe his eyes, and gets up. Shoto walks to the front of the class and drops his paper off, then walks out of the room, into the hall. This is his last exam for today—they’re only midterms right now—so he could go back to the dorms right away. That’s what Bakugo did when he finished, first, as usual.
Hanta finishes right after Shoto, though. Sometimes, Shoto can feel guilty. It feels like Hanta is just trying to catch up to Shoto, and sometimes it sacrifices questions he would have answered perfectly, if he didn’t chase after Shoto after every exam.
Shoto left this exam on his table for a while, though, and he hopes that gave Hanta more time to answer all the questions. He’s spoken to Hanta before about this, and all his boyfriend does is tell him not to worry. But, Shoto doesn’t miss the defeated face that appeared during the last report, after they’d first started dating.
“Are you alright?” Hanta asks, “Your eyes are really red…were you crying? The exam wasn’t that bad—“
“It wasn’t the exam.” Shoto says. Hanta opens his mouth to say something, then shrinks back, realising what Shoto means. “But, it’s fine. Did you answer everything?” Hanta nods, and Shoto doesn’t have enough energy to check if he’s lying.
They make their way back to the dorms. Shoto still has around half an hour until he has to go to his father’s agency, and he wants to spend all of it with Hanta.
Bakugo is already back, and he looks up at the door as Shoto and Hanta walk through. “How much time until Deku’s done?” He asks.
Hanta shrugs. “When I walked by, he was on the second to last question.” Bakugo tsks and walks away. Hanta looks up at Shoto, and shoots him a look that says, ‘He’s being ridiculous.’ Shoto nods in agreement, and they go up to his room.
“Your bed is so comfy.” Hanta groans, jumping onto it. “Holy shit, I could stay here forever .” He grins and looks at Shoto. The boy in question rolls his eyes and sits on the edge of his bed. He had to get it changed from a sleeping mat because Hanta ‘couldn’t sleep properly on it’. Hanta didn’t tell him—but he seemed a lot happier when there was an actual bed waiting for him the next night.
Hanta pulls Shoto closer by the waist and sighs, resting his head on Shoto’s chest. “Mm. I could stay here forever with you.”
“You’re really sappy.” Shoto comments, which earns him a flick on the forehead.
“As if!” Hanta shouts. “You should be happy that I’m giving you the grace of my presence, and cuddles.”
Shoto looks up at him. “I am.”
After spending time with Hanta, and definitely not just making out with him for ten minutes straight, Shoto heads over to his father’s agency. Aizawa-Sensei offers to drive him, but he declines his teacher’s offer. After all, it’s sunny outside, and will probably be the last of these types of days before winter comes around.
The agency isn’t too far away, anyway, and by the time Shoto gets there, the sun is still high in the sky, obviously not caring for how long past midday it’s gotten. His father is standing outside, beside a hooded figure. Shoto’s eyes narrow, and he steps forward, clearing his throat to announce his presence. His father looks up at him, his face neutral, as if he doesn’t care for his son, which is probably the case.
“Shoto.” He says gruffly. “I’m sorry.”
Shoto’s eyes narrow further. “What?”
The hooded figure pounces on him, knocking him to the ground. Shoto grunts, and shoots out a pillar of ice, suspending the hooded figure into the air. Shoto gets back up, and looks at the person in front of him. “You’re good, aren’t you?”
“Who the hell are you?” Shoto asks, looking around for his father. He’s nowhere to be seen–what the hell is he doing? Calling for backup? Leaving Shoto to finish this fight on his own?
“Someone you know, but also someone you don’t know.” That’s frustratingly vague. Shoto dodges another attack, an attempted uppercut to his jaw. “C’mon, Shoto, fight back.” The voice of the man is familiar, yet not at the same time.
“I am.” Shoto kicks the stranger in the gut, and he goes flying. I need to get out , Shoto thinks, but before he can do that, he’s grabbed by the neck and slammed onto the ground. He yells in pain, which is swiftly cut off when the man pushes his foot onto Shoto’s chest.
“Poor little Shoto. Your little quirk can’t save you now.” Shoto tries to shoot fire in the man’s face, but his arms are too weak–are they broken? Or just limp after being slammed onto the hard concrete below?
Shoto struggles against the man’s grip. “Your father told me to kill you.” His eyes widen, as the man laughs. “He doesn’t care for you, Shoto. I gave him an offer–to get back his old family, to fix all of his problems by making his actions never happen in the first place–starting with you.”
No. Shoto needs to be there when his family is alright again. He needs it–he deserves it. Much more than his father does.
The grip on his neck tightens. “I’m going to kill you. And everything will be okay. It’s alright, Shoto. Your family will thank you.”
I don’t want my family to thank me because I’m dead. Shoto wants to say, but the grip on his neck is too tight for him to be able to.
“Now. Goodbye, Shoto.” A heat wraps around his neck, and Shoto screams in pain, the only sound he’s able to make. Flames envelop him, and Shoto can’t even tell what’s happening. His eyes close as he screams again.
He opens his eyes one more time and swears he can see the familiar blazing blue of a lost brother, before it all turns to black.
“When you die, the last seven minutes are spent with the one you love.” Fuyumi says, holding Shoto in her arms. “Have you ever heard of that, Shoto?”
The baby babbles in her arms, and Touya groans in annoyance. “You need to stop fucking indoctrinating the baby by telling it it’s going to die.”
“He’s not an it!” Fuyumi shouts, “And stop swearing near him, you’re about to be the one indoctrinating him!” Touya rolls his eyes, flicking through the channels on the television.
“Mm. What’s happening?” Natsuo asks tiredly, rubbing his eyes. “Who swore at the baby?”
“I didn’t swear at the baby. I swore with him around.”
Fuyumi scoffs. “Same thing, Touya.” She turns to Shoto. “Who’s a good boy? Can you say a word yet?”
“It’s not a dog, Fuyumi.” Touya says, “He’s, like, a year old, too, he can’t say a word yet. All he can do is babble and be annoying as shit.”
“Language!” Fuyumi scolds, “You’re gonna be a bad dad when you’re older, Touya, if you keep on saying that around babies.”
Touya looks around incredulously. “Who said I’m having kids?”
Natsuo laughs. “I can’t imagine you having kids. Let alone you finding a woman to–”
“Don’t talk about sex with Shoto around!” Fuyumi shouts, making the baby cry. “Oh, shit.”
“Language.” Touya mocks his sister’s voice, which earns him a hit on the head. “Ow! Bitch!”
“Don’t call me a bitch you–”
Rei clears her throat, walking into the room. “Can we not swear with a baby around, please?” She asks.
“Sorry mom.” Touya and Fuyumi say in unison.
Rei looks over at Natsuo. “I didn’t say anything–I just woke up!”
“It’s 5PM, Natsu.” Rei sighs. “Just because you’re ‘older’ now doesn’t mean you have the authority to wake up at ridiculous times.”
“Yeah, eight year old.” Touya gets another smack, this time from Natsuo. “Will everyone stop hitting me?!”
Their mother sighs. “Your father is in the training room, he wants to see you, Touya. Fuyumi, hand me Shoto, will you?” Fuyumi nods and hands over the baby, and Touya walks out of the room.
Shoto doesn’t get seven minutes. He doesn’t get one at all.