Chapter Text
D&D stands for gay and gayer
willthewisest: sent a photo
dustbunny: oof
bikewheels: stop exposing me william
willthewisest: dont say that
willthewisest: you love me
stalker: oh
stalker: he cant disagree with that
stalker: trap himwill
bikewheels: i look like an idioy
dustbunny: you look hapy for onec
willthewisest: his mom just told him richies comin fr the summer
bikewheels: hes a dick
bikewheels: thats y i call him dick
stalker: dude
stalker: we havent seen rich in like a million years
stalker: fr id be excited if i were mike
dustbunny: so who is this elusive figure that mike thinks is a dick?
bikewheels: the bane of my existence
bikewheels: the worst person ive ever met
bikewheels: the reason i sleep with one eye open at night
bikewheels: richard
willthewisest: mike is lying
willthewisest: yall saw the look on his face in that picture
willthewisest: sent a photo
willthewisest: hes now talking to richie and smiling as they talk
stalker: there are only two people on this earth that mike goes soft for
stalker: hes on the phone with one and iin the sma eroom as the other
stalker *same room my god my spelling is trash
dustbunny: fr^
madmax: who is this richie?
dustbunny: fr^
bikewheels: have i not mentioned him before?
bikewheels: youll regret meetin him
stalker: not fr^
dustbunny: don’t copy me stalker
stalker: shut up dust
stalker: also rich is cool
stalker: he used to live in Hawkins and then moved to maine
stalker: he makes gooddumb jokes
stalker: mikes prolyl just jeaous that richie is funnier than him
bikewheels: hes so unfunny it hurts
bikewheels: hes gotten worse lucas
willthewisest: I think hes a little funny
madmax: but why is he comin here?
bikewheels: faimly
bikewheels: and he hasnt been bakc in like five years
bikewheels: well see a lot of him casue hes stayin with me
dustbunny: cool
dustbunny: when is he getting here?
dustbunny: I want to mee toyour cousin
bikewheels: next tuesday
Group Chat with bikewheels, wisethewisest, and stalker
stalker: are we just gonna let them think rich is your cousin?
bikewheels: how else would we parent trap them
bikewheels: this has been the dream so long
bikewheels: itll be a little hard cause dick is almost blind
bikewheels: and i don’t have galsses
bikewheels: obv hell have to takeum ogf
bikewheels: but I want to confuse them
wisethewisest: has his vision got that bad?
bikewheels: yea
bikewheels: hes kinda sensitive abot it but puts up a front
bikewheels: we talked the other day and he was sad
bikewheels: cause he feels like hes losing independence and stuff
bikewheels: cause its gotten real bad
bikewheels: he told me that hell probably be legally blind by the time we graduate
willthewisest: wow
willthewisest: so like me with my hearing
willthewisest: awwww
willthewisest: can he come sooner so I can give hima big hug
stalker:^
bikewheels: but dont tell him i told you
bikewheels: like i said
bikewheels: hes sensitive
stalker: i love mike being sappy for his brother
stalker: really shows the soft side
willthewisest: i wont bring it up unless he does
willthewisest: but once he does im def reminding him i also am slowing losin a sense
willthewisest: degenerative buddies
bikewheels: hell love that
willthewisest: we should amek a chat w/rich
willthewisest: to plan the parent trap
Group Chat with bikewheels, willthewisest, stalker, and trashmouth
bikewheels: dick
trashmouth: that is my name
bikewheels: we are parent trapping my friends
stalker: they dont know you exist
stalker: so were gonna parent trap them
trashmouth: thanks mickeu
trashmouth: youre such a good little brother
bikewheels: im older
trashmouth: no
trashmouth: i am
willthewisest: I thought yall were c section babies
willthewisest: that means there is no older or younger one
stalker: ^
stalker: that would solve the problem
trashmouth: no
bikewheels: no
willthewisest: nvm then
willthewisest: but yeah we can give rich a shirt of mikes to wear so that they both are mike
trashmouth: and ill need someone to walk with me so that I don’t run into anything
bikewheels: four eyes
trashmouth: old man ears
bikewheels: shut up
bikewheels: i am actually adhd
bikewheels: and dont come back with the stupid audioty processing thing ive got
bikewheels: its better than you think
trashmouth: mickey yr hearinf understanding is as good as my viision last year
trashmouth: which is alsosomehow almost asbad as akid who was literaly born deaf
stalker: ...changing the subject
willthewisest: last coment kinda hit a nerve rich
trashmouth: sorry will
trashmouth: ik youre kinda weird about it
trashmouth: but dontworry you two will make the cutest old couple
trashmouth: “mikey have you seen the tv remote?” “what?” “waht?” “what’d you say?”
trashmouth: back and forth for hours
willthewisest: hehe
willthewisest: that is funny
willthewisest: youre forgiven :D
stalker: anyway rich
stalker: ill pick you up from your house
stalker: and mike can be with the others at the arcade
stalker: wait no
stalker: max and i will pick rich up
willthewisest: and dustin and el and mike and I can be at the arcade
willthewisest: ill pick dustin and el up
trashmouth: sounds like fun
trashmouth: chaos is my middle name
bikewheels: no its nt
bikewheels: its theodore
trashmouth: and funsucker is mickey’s
stalker: truth rich
trashmouth: im excited for this now
trashmouth: I cant wait to see tou all
bikewheels: hate to admit it but me too
willthewisest: we have to ahng out as the four of us once
willthewisest: for old time sake
trashmouth: we can search our couches for coins
trashmouth: and try to snap them in the basement
stalker: penny wars
stalker: that’s nostalgic
trashmouth: wait
trashmouth: THEY DON’T KNOW I EXIST
trashmouth: fuck you mickey
The Losvers
trashmouth: guys im sad to leav you this summer
trashmouth: but were planning a parent trap on mikes friends
spageddie: stop planning trouble before you leave rich
trashmouth: never
trashmouth: chaos is my middle name
trashmouth: plus it was my brothers idea
trashmouth: he just got meon board
bbbilliam: no
bbbilliam: your middle nae theodore
trashmouth: I wish chaos was my middle name
trashmouth: theodore sucks
trashmouth: that’s my dads name is you didnt’ know
stantheman: we know you hate your dad rich
bennieboi: if u hate ur dad then y r u going there for the summer
trashmouth: I dont hate my mom or my siblings
trashmouth: except for mike
trashmouth: but thats brotherly love/hate
spageddie: you leave on monday right
januaryembers: the monday that’s tomoorow?
trashmouth: yeah
trashmouth: but I get there tuesday
januaryembers: we need to hang out so we can send you off
trashmouth: the train doesn’t leave til five at night
trashmouth: send me off then
stantheman: yes sir
--
trashmouth: its only been five miuntes and I miss you gouys
trashmouth: I promis to text and write
januaryembers: yes plesaes
stantheman: id say ill miss you but the qiet is nice so far
bbbilliam: i miss the loud
bbbilliam: but im glad youre going rich
bbbilliam: say hi to mike and his friends for us
trashmouth: I will
trashmouth: I cant wait to see him
spageddie: sappy rich is coming out
trashmouth: the only thing coming out is the moans coming out of your mom when I fuck her
spageddie: beep beep
januaryembers: beep beep
bbbilliam: beep beep
stantheman: beep beep
bennieboi: beep beep
trashmouth: thanks guys
trashmouth: love yall too
Group Chat with bikewheels, willthewisest, stalker, and trashmouth
trashmouth: I should be there in like ten minutes
stalker: good
bikewheels: nan and I will be there to pick you up
bikewheels: Im so bored so hurry up
trashmouth: ill just hijack the bus and drive over the speed limit
trashmouth: thanks you the idea micycle
bikewheels: youre welcome rich bich
willthewisest: im so excited to paret trp the party
stalker: ^
trashmouth: sent a photo
trashmouth: he just gave me the biggest hug
willthewisest: sappy mike
bikewheels: dick failed to add that he is crying now
bikewheels: and he cant see anythign cause hes practically bawling
trashmouth: ils jsodt emotionald
trashmouth: iva eng senry bfotherin fozver
bikewheels: trnaltasing
bikewheels: ijm stemo toinla
bikewheels: iha ensee nmu beotjern fpeber
willthewisest: that was somehow worse
willthewisest: calm down and text us later
willthewisest: also I cant wait to see you both
--
Richie pulled away from a hug with Mike, rubbing the tears out of his eyes. Mike did the same before the pair grabbed Richie’s bags and walked over to the car.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Richie said, “Sorry it’s been so long but there’s been so much going on in Derry and…”
“It’s my fault too, Hawkins has been crazy too,” Mike interrupted. They stuck Richie’s bags in the trunk of Nancy’s car and climbed in the backseat together.
“Hey Chee. Long time, no see, baby brother,” Nancy said, reaching back to ruffle Richie’s hair, subsequentially knocking his glasses off his face. Richie stuck his hand on the floor, trying to feel for them.
“Right here Dick,” Mike said, handing him the glasses.
“Thanks, asshole,” Richie replied, giving Mike a huge smile.
“Try to lay off the cussing, Chee. Mom and Dad are more strict about it than Maggie and Went,” Nancy said, starting the car.
“Oh, double standard. Mickey can call me a dick, but I can’t call him an asshole,” Richie snarked.
“You do know that Dick is a nickname for Richard, right?” Mike said.
“I do, that’s why it’s not fair,” Richie said, crossing his arms, “Oh Nance, guess what? Mickey and I are gonna parent trap his friends.”
“Oh fun. Tell me how it goes later,” Nancy said. They talked for the rest of the car ride home.
--
Group Chat with bikewheels, willthewisest, stalker, and trashmouth
trashmouth: sent a photo
trashmouth: i am mickey now
bikewheels: aslo weve both clamed down enough t time properly
bikewheels: dicks no longer a blubbering mess
trashmouth: he says that like he wasnt aslo a blubering ness
willthewisest: dude thats eriosuly not just a pic of mike?
willthewisest: you two are still idenical
stalker: i agree w will
stalker: its scary
trashmouth: wjat if we dressed mickey up asme
trashmouth: double dick
stalker: lol
stalker: two richies is too much for me
stalker: I deal w one and one only
trashmouth: you sound like all my friends lucass
stalker: i cant tell if thats a compliment or an insult
stalker: when do you wantme to head over
bikewheels: I just left to meet up at the arcade
bikewheels: dustin and will and el are there already
willthewisest: actually el and I are almsost there
stalker: im picking up max and coming over
stalker: u cant wait to acctually do thid
bikewheels: over and out bitchses
stalker: pciked up max
stalker: picked up rich
trashmouth: I caur duskicnf soe ro thia ill nw fun
--
Group Chat with bikewheels, willthewisest, stalker, and trashmouth
bikewheels: that was the fuckin funiest thign weve done in a logn time
stalker: ^fr
willthewisest: i wish i couldve heard the scream max let out when she realized therw was two mikes
Private Chat between willthewisest and trashmouth
trashmouth: hey will
trashmouth: you know
trashmouth: you can talk to me
trashmouth: i get it
trashmouth: not the hearing thing
trashmouth: but idk if mike told you
trashmouth: but i cant see much anymore bc my vision is so bad
trashmouth: and ill probably be legally blind by graduation
trashmouth: so i get it
willthewisest: mike told us but said not to mention it
willthewisest: but yeah, ikno you get it
willthewisest: its just hard bc i kinda play it off with the partt
willthewisest: bc max and el dont sign so we cant do that
willthewisest: and shcools so hard bc i cant get accomodations
willthewisest: i was already planing on having a crying sleepover and ratnign
willthewisest: just the two of us?
trashmouth: yes please
trashmouth: tommorw night
trashmouth: bc i need a good breakdown
trashmouth: excepti seeless when i cry
willthewisest: i cant hear much when i cry
willthewisest: well,i cant hear much anyway
trashmouth: do you ned new hearing aids?
willthewisest: cant afford them
willthewisest: have to wait three yrs for insurance to cover them
trashmouth: i have a trust fund
willthewisest: no
willthewisest: youcant
willthewisest: bc i catn accept it
willthewisest: you know my family
trashmouth: it was worth a try will
trashmouth: ijust want to help you
willthewisest: doc says they wont help much anyway
willthewisest: too much ear damage
trashmouth: ...okay
trashmouth: also do you ned me to get my mom on th accomodatins thing
trashmouth: shes got push in admin
trashmouth: she got mickey his for his apd and adhd and shit
trashmouth: she even got me mine and i go to schol in maine
willthewisest: i have some just needs to be updated
willthewisest: and mymoms working more extra shifts so they cnat have a meeting
trashmouth: okay
trashmouth: just offering
willthewisest: youre good
willthewisest: were on for tomorwe night thoguh
trashmouth: duh dude
Private Chat between willthewisest and bikewheels
willthewisest: your brother is amawing
bikewheels: huh
willthewisest: we just ralked for a whiel
willthewisest: and as mucha s i love you so much
willthewisest: rich gets me
bikewheels: hearing stuff?
willthewisest: oui
willthewisest: i just feel so crappy about it all rn
willthewisest: it fucking sucskt o lose one of your sensses
willthewisest: and eveyrthing it ahrd with the group and stuff
willthewisest: i sjut feel leftd out and nobody etst it really
willthewisest: cant even go to mom or robs
bikewheels: hes ood for that
bikewheels: aso im always here for you you know that right
bikewheels: like youer amaizng and i will do anything to help you
willthewisest: ilytt
bikewheels: is that i love you to tho
willthewisest: you knwo me so wlel
bikewheels: yeah duh bae
bikewheels: abbe
bikewheels: babe
willthewisest: had to fic xthta one huh
bikewheels: ilove you
willthewisest: mike you just igonre that huh
bikewheels: ilove you so much abeby
willthewisest: michael hames
bikewheels: hames hehe
willthewisest: im gonna kil you next time i see u
bikewheels: kill me with kisses
willthewisest: sounds about right
bikewheels: looks about right tyou mean
willthewisest: nvm im jsut killing you
willthewisest: goodnight my lovely boyfriend enjoy your last sleep
D&D stands for gay and gayer
bikewheels added trashmouth to the chat
bikewheels: gusy help will is gona kill me
trashmouth: he probaby has a bvlid reason
stalker: rich is right
madmax: bye mike
willthewisest: 🤟
bikewheels: ✌️🤞👌🤙👆✋👊🤲✊👈👐
willthewisest: wtf mike
willthewisest: you fuckign know actual sign
bikewheels: ik
dustbunny: idskj if that ofenxive or naw
willthewisest: yeah
willthewisest: thats ableist
willthewisest: makign fun for h=yoru adeaf boyfriend huh
trashmouth: next hes gona to do it to his blind brother
stalker: breaking heaadline mike wheelr is abelist
bikewheels: why do i alaways get buillednint he chat
willthewisest: huh i bet theres probably a reason
Private Chat between willthewisest and bikewheels
bikewheels: does it serious bother you?
bikewheels: i thouht it was gonna eb funy
willthewisest: literwally any other tiem it wouldbe fine
willthewisest: btu i told you i was uspet abotu it rn
willthewisest: so yeah its hsitty of you
bikewheels: im sorry babe
bikewheels: i didnt mean to hurt you
willthewisest: but you did
willthewisest: ngith mike
bikewheels: will-
bikewheels: fuck
Group Chat with bikewheels, stalker, strappedjournalist, concussedithink, and trashmouth
bikewheels: i fucked up abd gusys
trashmouth: no shit sherlock
trashmouth: yourenot egtting out of this easily
bikewheels: richie shut the fuck up
strappedjournalist: what happened
strappedjournalist: and stop fihting you two
stalker: mike youdesrive the hate
stalker: you did fuck up
concussedithink: damn if lucas thinks you fucked up than you really did
concussedithink: what happend
bikewheels: so will andin were teasifn each otherthen will said hew as gonna kill me with kisess and then actually kill me so i texted the gc as a joke and i took it to far and offended iwll
bikewheels: he didnt even said ily beofre he said goodngiht
bikewheels: and he said night instead of good ngith
strappedjournalist: damn
strappedjournalist: howd you offend him thatll decide how truly mad he is
trashmouth: nance its bad
trashmouth: like mickey is really fucked
stalker sent a screenshot
concussedithink: mike ur fucked
concussedithink: actually foul
concussedithink: like dude
strappedjournalist: that was literaly the worst thing you could do mike
bikewheels: it thought it would be ifne
bikewheels: normally he thinks its funny
bikewheels: bc i try to actuallty say something
bikewheels: i just took it too far and now he wont answer me
strappedjournalist: i will text jon but no promies on anything
Group Chat with strappedjournalist, concussedithink, and ilovethesmiths
strappedjournalist: i apologize to jon for my dumbass fukcing brother
concussedithink: he knows he fucked up but were still workin
ilovethesmiths: yeah will told me
ilovethesmiths: hes bad
ilovethesmiths: like real bad
ilovethesmiths: im supervising him just incase
strappedjournalist: hes not gonna…
ilovethesmiths: his lufeisnt in danger but he wiuld harm himself if i wanst in ehre
concussedithink: i realy didnt thinkmike would ever do that or anything liemktnat
strappedjournalist: i owuld never do anythign like that to either of you
strappedjournalist: fuck i ahet himsometimes
strappedjournalist: like to hsi boyfriend of all people
strappedjournalist: and with evetyone else and shit
ilovethesmiths: iknwo babe
ilovethesmiths: i dont think mike knew what he was dong
concussedithink: nance
concussedithink: youre not the one who did it
concussedithink: he did and neither of us are mad at you baby
ilovethesmiths: im fucking psised at mike but not you nacne
strappedjournalist: okay
strappedjournalist: i just cant wrap my head around why he would dsya htat to wil
ilovethesmiths: i cant either
ilovethesmiths: but will is okay for now
ilovethesmiths: pised but okay
ilovethesmiths: im sure mike wil apologise
concussedithink: jonny
concussedithink: did wil say anythign abotu hwo the other eeacted
ilovethesmiths: no
strappedjournalist: ill ask my borther
strappedjournalist: richie not mike
ilovethesmiths: i love you both
ilovethesmiths: im gonna put my phone downa dn see hwat will ends
strappedjournalist: i love you too
strappedjournalist: ill let ou guys know what rich syays
concussedithink: hey babes
concussedithink: i love you both too
concussedithink: mwah
ilovethesmiths: mwah steve
strappedjournalist: mwah stevie
Private Chat between trashmouth and bikewheels
trashmouth: i fukin hate yo rn
bikewheels: wtf drich
trashmouth: thats not okay
trashmouth: bc im betteing you kenw he aws uspet already
bikewheels: im a shitty bf
bikewheels: i didnt men it that way
trashmouth: impusle?
bikewheels: yea
trashmouth: takin your meds
bikewheels: …
trashmouth: michael james wheeler
trashmouth: you need to
bikewheels: rich
trashmouth: hey hey
trashmouth: where are you
bikewheels: baseement
trashmouth: ill be right down
trashmouth: its gonna be okay
Private Chat between trashmouth and strappedjournalist
trashmouth: howd it go with your boyfriends?
strappedjournalist: good
strappedjournalist: i had a queston fo you
trashmouth: ye
strappedjournalist: howd everyone react to mike earlir in the chat
trashmouth: dustin and lucas made it into a joke until they realized will was atctual mad
trashmouth: mickeys so uspet
trashmouth: were in the basement he alseep in my lap now but he was sobing bc he was so suspet
strappedjournalist: do you know why
trashmouth: implusev
trashmouth: not on his meds
strappedjournalist: thats explains everything baislciay
trashmouth: ye
strappedjournalist: imma tell jon that so will knwos
strappedjournalist: its not an excuse but ti is for miek
trashmouth: is mom gonna get hiem tested again
trashmouth: i thin khes manic too
trashmouth: my freind eddie is bipolar
trashmouth: theres are a lot os similaritys
strappedjournalist: you tell her you conecrsn and she will
strappedjournalist: mom thinks she the sonly one thats seign it and therfroe wont tale him
strappedjournalist: mike doesnt e=realize it either
trashmouth: tommorw fs i wil
Private Chat between willthewisest and knockoffjulianbaker
willthewisest: robbie
knockoffjulianbaker: willy
willthewisest: mike said some shitty things to me
willthewisest: dw jons moniotring me rn
willthewisest: already had a meltdown and now im deescalting
wilthewisest: but i just wanted to tlak a lttle
willthewisest: we were flirt fighting and then he took it too far
willthewisest sent a screenshot
knockoffjulianbaker: why the fuck did he fot tht
knockoffjulianbaker: also whos trashmouth
willthewisest: richie
knockoffjulianbaker: who?
willthewisest: richie wheeler? mike’s brother
knockoffjulianbaker: wtf youmean theres more wheelers
knockoffjulianbaker: inthogut it wa sjust nance mike and holly
willthewisest: yeah theres four
willthewisest: nancy, richie+mike, and holly
willthewisest: thats age order except for the boys bc they dont know whos older
knockoffjulianbaker: first i foind out that wheeler has a borther and then i find out its artwin brother
willthewisest: i alwys forget you were homsecholsd forveer
willthewisest: and you doidnt know anybody but us utnil forevrr
knockoffjulianbaker: ye babay b
knockoffjulianbaker: its called not beign mainstreamed
knockoffjulianbaker: is mieks brother an ass
willthewisest: no hes not
willthewisest sent a screenshot
willthewisest: these are some of out texts todat
willthewisest: hes msotly blind so he understans me
knockoffjulianbaker: awww okay
knockoffjulianbaker: ithnkg you ned to talk with miek once he apologizeds and not til then bc he was an ass and your sederive better
knockoffjulianbaker: but you nedto tell him about your boundaries
knockoffjulianbaker: if he cant accept your wonderful Deaf autistic personality than he doesnt need tou
willthewisest: rich just exted me and said that its nto an excuse but mike hasnt been taking hsi meds so i wil def forgive him
willthewisest: he already knows but boudnaries but he gste impsulevi sometimes
knockoffjulianbaker: ok jsut keep me updated baby b
willthewisest: thanks robbie
willthewisest: 🤟
knockoffjulianbaker: ilyt willy