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"I'm a monster."
"No, you're not."
"I just killed someone, Tony." Pepper sniffled. She didn't know who- or what exactly she had become after Aldrich Killian's experiment on her. It was all a blur. She’d been kidnapped, and injected with some sort of serum. “Extremis”, he called it? Once it was administered into her bloodstream, a hot, intense pain came along with it. She fell in and out of consciousness, each time hoping it was just some twisted nightmare, and wondered when it would finally come to an end.
Pepper knew there were consequences to dating a superhero. She’d encountered plenty of the dangers that posed a threat to Tony and the world before. There was Obadiah and his makeshift Iron Man suit, Hammer’s killer drones at the Stark Expo, Loki and the aliens that invaded Earth… the list could go on. This may not have been Pepper’s first run-in with death, but this was definitely the closest she’s ever gotten to it.
And out of all people, Killian was the person Pepper least expected to be responsible for it all. She’d known him years before he healed himself with Extremis, back when they used to work together. He was a completely different person back then. He’d even ask her out on occasion, which was awkward, but sweet nonetheless. They eventually lost contact over the years, and it wasn’t until Killian waltzed into her office when the memories came flooding back.
Pepper thought she was reuniting with an old friend. Little did she know he would be capable of such despicable things.
But then again, Pepper didn’t think that she, too, could be capable of killing someone either.
She hadn't intended on killing Aldrich, even after everything he had done. Murder wasn't a burden Pepper wanted to carry on her shoulders. In that moment, after Pepper had re-emerged from the flames, she felt as though she wasn't in control of her own thoughts or actions. Extremis tapped into a side of Pepper she’d never seen before. All she remembered was the feelings of pure rage, energy, and power coursing through her veins.
Pepper's skin glowed a faint orange, the color slowly beginning to fade away. Her hands were still warm and trembling from the rush of adrenaline. She’d just fallen down a two-hundred foot drop into fire.
She was supposed to be dead. Yet ironically enough, Extremis made Pepper feel more alive than ever. She was practically immortal.
A terrifying and incomprehensible concept for a simple human.
Despite everything, Pepper was still standing in front of Tony, without a single scratch. Tony was saying something, but all she could hear was white noise. She became lost in a swirling storm of her own thoughts inside her head, only to be pulled out once Tony took a step towards her.
“Pepper? Honey?” Pepper’s eyes darted over to Tony, who looked just as shocked as she did. He tried to be a source of comfort for her, yet she could still hear the disbelief in his voice.
He couldn’t believe that Pepper was still alive, either.
"Listen, Pep, you gotta listen to me-" Tony began, putting a hand out to touch her shoulder. However, to his surprise, Pepper backed away in an instant.
"No! No, Tony, don't touch me. Please. I don't want to hurt you," Pepper hadn’t realized she was holding back tears until she felt her throat constricting. "I didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't mean to kill him! I just wanted to protect you. But everything happened so fast, and I…”
Pepper’s voice finally cracked, and her vision blurred. Her tears felt cool as they slid down her face, still slightly warm as the effects of Extremis continued to wear off. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, as a poor and desperate excuse for a hug at that moment. Although the serum’s effects were beginning to dissipate, Pepper didn’t want to risk hurting Tony, especially after everything they’d just been through.
“What have I done, Tony?" Pepper cried, though there was no response. A wave of silence washed over the two, with nothing but the sound of Pepper's sniffles and fire crackling filling the air.
At that moment, only one thought weighed heavily on Pepper’s mind: Her life would never be the same.
Although Extremis is what saved Pepper from her doom, it was still given to her against her will. She never asked for superpowers or immortality. While others may see those as gifts, they were still an invasion of her body. Regardless of the “benefits” Extremis gave her, Pepper would always associate them with painful memories.
Afterall, not even Killian knew exactly how her body would react to the serum. There was a significant chance that her body could’ve rejected it altogether, therefore killing her. Killian may have called Pepper his trophy, but really, she was nothing more than his lab rat.
Not to mention, Pepper’s emotions were what sparked her powers. If she couldn’t get her feelings under control, she’d turn into a ticking time bomb. Then, she’d pose a threat to not only herself, but Tony too, and everything else around her. How was she going to live like this?
What would everyone think? What would the press think? Would she have to quit her job?
Would she have to move out of Tony’s house?
Would she have to break up with Tony forever-
Suddenly, before Pepper could draw away, Tony was already pulling her into a tight embrace. Despite her initial protests, his hand cradled the back of her head. “It’s okay. We’re okay.” Tony soothed.
For the first time that night, Pepper finally felt safe. She let her body melt into his, as she buried her face into Tony’s shoulder. It was only a few minutes, but they held each other for what seemed like forever. Pepper shed a few more tears while Tony’s fingers gently brushed through her hair.
"Look, Pepper, what you did back there? That wasn't you, that was the Extremis talking. Not your fault. It's mine, actually," Tony broke away from their embrace, wiping away her tears with his thumb. "I am so, so sorry. I'm the one that got you dragged into this mess, and you didn't deserve any of that. I dunno what I would've done if I lost you. You're all I have."
"You're all I have too, you know." Pepper smiled softly. Her skin was no longer glowing, and she had finally looked like herself again.
"That’s my girl," Tony remarked. Pepper leaned in, planting a small kiss on his cheek. "Say, I really owe you one for saving my ass back there. That guy just would not let up. Between you and me, I was scared shitless. Seriously, don’t tell Rhodey that, he’ll never let me live it down.”
“I think I can keep that a secret,” Pepper laughed. “Seriously though… Am I gonna be okay?”
Tony could still see a glint of anxiety in her eyes. “You’re gonna be okay,” he reassured. “I’ll make sure of it.”
Pepper may not have known exactly how everything would be solved, but she did know one thing: as long as she had Tony by her side, everything would be okay. They’d figure it out together, just like they always did.