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Everyone had gathered in the command room for one purpose. Hibiki had decided on what to do after they would have defeated Canopis and they all wanted to hear his plans. It was unfortunate Hibiki wouldn’t actually be sharing them today, or ever.
What he would be feeding them was a single lie. A lie which would make this easier for all of them. All of them, except for Hibiki himself.
“A human shall ascend the Heavenly Throne,” he told them.
“That human will be me,” he didn’t tell them.
Nobody disagreed. They could all see it was the safest option to give their world peace. But then, questions came.
“Wait, but… Wh-Who’s going to become the Administrator?” Io asked, concern in her voice. “Whoever it is, they’ll have to spend eternity in the Akasha Stratum…. All alone.”
Hibiki smiled slightly as Saiduq did the explaining for him. “My dear Io Nitta… there is no need to discuss such things at the moment. It can be decided upon once Canopus is slain.“
“We need to focus on the battle,” Hibiki stated before any more questions could be asked. The moment his friends would start to suspect something, it would be over.
Despite his and Saiduq’s efforts, more questions kept coming. Was that really all right? Could such an important decision really wait until later? Again, Saiduq stepped in. This time he assured everyone this conversation should be held after the battle. Hibiki swallowed thickly as he continued to keep his friends in the dark.
Then Yamato spoke up and said something unexpected.
“…..Yes, Alcor is right. We need to concentrate on Canopus, with no distractions.”
Hibiki could feel Yamato staring a hole through him, but he refused to make eye contact. Gritting his teeth, he fought the urge to meet Yamato’s strong gaze.
“Indeed. There will be time for discussion later. If we don’t destroy Canopus, then it’s all for nothing,” Miyako added, leaving no more room for this discussion.
Saiduq spoke some more words. There were just a few more final preparations left to be made for the final battle for all of humankind. Saiduq made sure every single one of them knew this. Those words he shared among them carried strength. Strength which Hibiki saw reflected in his friends’ eyes as they left the command room to prepare.
It was Saiduq’s voice which pulled Hibiki out of his thoughts.
“What is the matter Yamato Hotsuin? You look as though something troubles you.”
Being caught off guard, Hibiki accidently made eye contact with Yamato… and forgot how to breath. Those grey eyes which usually held some warmth (or at the very least a spark of interest) around him had turned colder than ice and darker than black. Now nothing could be seen in those pools of black except for his own reflection.
“I never thought you’d stoop this low. I am not as easily deceived as the others…”
Yamato’s voice was so raw, deep and hurt that for a moment there was nothing else in this broken world that mattered. Hibiki inhaled sharply before opening his mouth to say he had changed his mind, but Saiduq wouldn’t even let him start.
“What is all this in reference to?”
“How dare you…. It is about Hibiki. I know how this ends, Alcor.”
Hibiki shook his head to get rid of the thought he had had just now. This was the decision he had made. He would see it through until the bitter end.
“Please, don’t tell the others,” his voice came weakly. They couldn’t know. He didn’t know what he would do if the truth came to light.
The silence which followed seemed to last an eternity. Yamato sighed before finally breaking it.
“…You chose this path on your own. I have no intentions of stopping you.”
Having said his piece, Yamato solemnly paced out of the command room. Hibiki stood there, frozen, as he watched him go. Saiduq and Miyako looked at each other in search of words for comfort, but didn’t find any. Hibiki slowly turned around to face them and they offered him their best of fake smiles.
“I… I’m sorry, I think…… I think I want to chase after him.”
“Go now, Shining One. We will not take the little bit of time you have left together from you.”
Miyako gave Hibiki a single nod of silent approval and he was gone. Soon he caught up with Yamato who despite definitely hearing his footsteps did not slow down. Only after to have called his name, Yamato stopped in his tracks. Hibiki thought he knew what to say, but when Yamato turned around and faced him he was lost for words.
“Y-Yamato, I… I’m–”
“Don’t.”
“But I–”
What Hibiki had left to say would forever be lost for Yamato suddenly reached out and grabbed a hold of his face. Yamato was gentle as he held Hibiki’s face in his hands. The thought that Yamato had never held him like this, or ever, crossed Hibiki’s mind as he allowed the touch.
“Not a word.”
One of Yamato’s hands travelled to the back of his head while the other slid down from his cheek, to his shoulder, to his chest. Yamato spread his fingers evenly as his hand rested on Hibiki’s heart.
Yamato’s lips were but a breath away. Their breathing gradually slowed down until they chests were going up and down in the same rhythm. They stared into each other’s eyes and what Hibiki saw was that warmth had returned to Yamato’s. A small relief…
The hand which had been resting on Hibiki’s chest smoothed down to his hip. His breathing hitched as Yamato pulled him closer and leaned in. Thinking he knew what was to come, Hibiki closed his eyes and then–
…Nothing.
Hibiki had expected many things, but none of them happened. Never before had he longed for something this strongly. He felt from the very core of his being that he wanted Yamato to kiss him. He suppressed a whine as the chief pulled him into an embrace instead.
Hesitatingly, Hibiki opened his eyes and returned the embrace. Their difference in height became apparent to him, so he stood on his toes to make up for those few centimetres he missed. Yamato hummed softly as he rubbed his back. While it was not the touch Hibiki truly longed for, he smiled.
“Promise me one thing,” Yamato spoke, stopping the movement of his hands. “Don’t forget the trials we faced together… Don’t forget about me.”
Tears fell from Hibiki’s face as he desperately held onto Yamato by the back of his coat.
“I won’t forget. I couldn’t forget even if I tried. You will always be a part of me.”
Hibiki wouldn’t ask the same from Yamato for he knew that promise would be impossible to keep. He would just have to remember for them both.
“I promise.”
A trail of heavy footsteps in the pure and untouched snow was the only thing Yamato left behind as he continued his final climb. It was freezing and he could barely see a thing even with his headlight on, but even so he didn’t slow down. He was but a lone dark figure moving forward and upward on the shadow of the Mount Everest before the clear and endless night sky.
Many had advised against it. Some even had called him crazy and suicidal, but no less had he made the decision to make this climb alone. It had been rough, dangerous and definitely incredibly stupid, yet here he was… getting closer to reaching the summit step by step.
It was a matter of time before his legs would refuse to carry him any further, and yet he didn’t worry. He knew he would make it. A hidden strength he hadn’t known he possessed was pushing him forward. He was so close now. All he needed was one final push.
The first ray of sunshine stretched over the vast land below him as he stood on top of the Mount Everest. He took a deep breath as the most beautiful sight he ever had had the pleasure of witnessing took shape before him.
It was a sunrise like no other. Gradually a warm orange light coloured the peaks of the mountain, leaving the shadows a pure white and blue colour which contrasted the edges of orange beautifully. As more light reached the surface, the long climb Yamato had made stretched out before him.
He had started his climb on the bottom about two months ago. That seemed forever ago now, but this view made it worth it all.
“On top of the world… alone.”
Yamato had an odd feeling. It was something close to déjà vu, but not quite. There was a name on the tip of his tongue. His lips formed no syllables nor sound as he tried to say it. He couldn’t say the name; couldn’t think the name. Yet he… he somehow knew it belonged to a very important person to him.
Who was ____?
He wondered about this as he stood there unmoving and took in the view. The peaceful silence of the mountain was disturbed by the far away sounds of a helicopter approaching. Yamato’s eyes searched for the source and found a white and red helicopter slowly making its way over to him.
That had to be his flight. Yamato had one more good look around him before he began to move to a lower level. A few moments later and he had arrived at a good spot to be picked up from.
The helicopter steadily lowered as much as possible without actually landing. As Yamato approached the helicopter the door was opened for him. From inside a hand reached for him. He grabbed it, placed one foot inside and was pulled in. Once inside he took his enormous traveling backpack off, sat down and shut the door behind him. They took off.
The man sitting next to him (another climber which had been picked up earlier, it seemed) gave him a thumbs up. Yamato hesitatingly returned the gesture before turning his head the other way and gazing out of the window.
He would remember this life changing experience forever, and yet… he couldn’t help but feel like he had forgotten something important.
Somewhere far way the crowed Administrator watched from the Heavenly Throne. He had been watching Yamato every step of the way, and even before that. He was all seeing, all knowing… always watching.
“All seems well in the world, doesn’t it, Shining One?” Saiduq’s voice came from behind him.
“…Indeed. This is the peaceful world we desired. This is the world we created, together,” Hibiki spoke, his voice that of a divine being. “I have to protect it.”
In the silence that followed, Hibiki watched over Yamato with his all-seeing eyes. Yamato had been close to remembering something. Hibiki had felt it. It left a sour taste in his mouth. Reaching the summit of the Mount Everest was such a great achievement, and yet Yamato wasn’t smiling. The unknown was tormenting him. This is not what Hibiki wished for.
There and then, he made a grave decision.
“Say, Saiduq, could I ask a favour of you?”
“Naturally, Shining One. I am here to serve.”
“I would like you to hold onto something. It needs to be watched over and kept safe. It’s something very important to me.”
“What would that be, may I ask?”
“My memories.”
Suddenly Saiduq was before him. The shocked expression he was making was so genuine and human that Hibiki almost would have mistaken him for one.
“As your sword I advise against it.”
“Of course I’ll make fake memories for myself before I pass my real memories over to you. With my fake memories I will continue to watch over mankind like I have until now.”
Hibiki could tell Saiduq wanted to ask why this was necessary, but they both knew it wasn’t in Saiduq’s place to question him. Because Saiduq wouldn’t ask, Hibiki would just have to tell him.
“It hurts, Saiduq…” Hibiki explained, offering his only friend a sad smile. “My will is reflected on the world. I don’t want them to remember because that would only hurt them, but deep down I… I want to be a part of their lives again. I miss them. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.”
For a long moment Saiduq let those words sink in. Hibiki could hear him thinking the crowed Administrator hadn’t lost a single bit of humanity since he had taken his place on the Heavenly Throne.
“Understood. What would you have me do?”
“Keep my memories somewhere safe. Give them back to me when you think the time is right after at least three generations from now have passed. If I fail to do my job with my fake memories alone, give them back to me immediately.”
Saiduq bowed for him, keeping his head low as he spoke. “Consider it done, Shining One.”
“Good. Leave me now. I will call for you when it is time.”
With those words Saiduq disappeared. Hibiki closed his eyes and allowed his sense to be cut off from all that existed temporarily. Only in this darkness he could revive what Yamato’s touch had felt like. Hibiki hugged himself as he tried to recall how Yamato had drawn him closer and held him in his arms. He longed for his touch, his smell, his voice... his everything. It hurt.
“Promise me one thing,” echoed Yamato’s voice inside his mind. “Don’t forget the trials we faced together… Don’t forget about me.”
Hibiki opened his eyes, allowing all sensations to come back to him. He looked up at the never ending night sky as he fabricated new fake memories in his mind. He was the Administrator, supervisor of worlds. His sole purpose: protecting mankind. His name… Seiki.
It was time.
“I won’t be able to keep that promise after all. Forgive me… Yamato.”