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Chilchuck took a drink, then spat it right back out. "The hell!" He stared into his mug in disbelief. "They're serving skunked beer?"
"Skunked?" Dandan reached over and took a sip, frowning. "It tastes the same as always to me."
"You're joking."
"What, it's the local brew. Maybe you're just not used to it?"
"No, I don't think so." Chilchuck looked around, then raised his voice in guttural Dwarfish, addressing the next table over. A good-looking Dwarf with an intricately braided red beard looked up, and Chilchuck approached, asking him a question. The Dwarf looked a little surprised, but agreed, and let Chilchuck take a sip of his drink. Giving the mug back, Chilchuck bowed politely, then marched back towards Dandan with a furious expression.
"I knew it," he said, grabbing both their mugs. "They're giving us their worst stuff."
"What do you mean, they're — hey!" Dandan jumped up as Chilchuck marched up to the bar, climbing up onto the rung at the low end and slamming the mugs down. Catching up to him, he grabbed Chilchuck's arm. "Let's just find another tavern, then, it's not worth making a scene."
Shrugging him off, Chilchuck caught the barkeep's attention. "Excuse me," he said, pleasantly. "My friend and I are a little concerned. You see, we carry around a couple of coins with some sentimental value, and it seems that we might have inadvertently given them to you."
Dandan nodded, not sure where Chilchuck was going with this. Anytime a Half-foot lied to a Tall-man though, you backed him up to the hilt.
"What's that to me?" the barkeep said coolly.
"Well," Chilchuck said, smiling up at him. "This is a little embarrassing, but do you think we could exchange for the coins we already gave you? The exact same coins, mind, not just a refund."
The barkeep scowled at him. "Really? You think I'll be able to tell your coins apart from anyone else's? They're gone, buddy boy, mixed in with the rest."
"You hear that, Dandan?" Chilchuck turned, raising his voice to catch the attention of the other patrons. "He says our coin is the same as anyone else's! So why," he snarled, every trace of friendliness dropping from his face and voice as he turned back to the barkeep, "Aren't our drinks?"
"I don't know what you're —"
"They're skunked! And I can tell from the fact that you've got actual customers in here you're not serving this swill to everyone, so why the hell are you serving it to us?"
"Maybe it's just that your tastebuds are too finicky," the barkeep snapped, flushing red. "If you want some fruit juice, try the grocer's."
"I tasted what you served to my Dwarf cousin over there," Chilchuck shot back, "What, you thought you could short us just because we look young? Is that the way you conduct your business? Cheating anyone who looks like they'll let you get away with it?"
"That's not —" the barkeep huffed. "If anything, you lot are cheating me! Damn baby-faces, you all drink half as much and make twice as much trouble for it. Of course I'm not going to give you the good stuff!"
"Is that a fact," Chilchuck said in an even voice. Taking out his purse, he plunked a full coin on the bar. "One pint."
The barkeep's eyes narrowed, but he pulled a pint regardless, sliding it over to Chilchuck. Lifting it, Chilchuck drank the whole thing without coming up for air.
Slamming the empty mug down, he put down another coin. "Another pint."
The barkeep hesitated, but then filled another and slid it over. Chilchuck drank it the same way, then put it down next to the first. He put down a third coin. "One more."
"I'm not serving you that."
Chilchuck pointed at him. "You said our money was the same as anyone else's. You'd serve any Dwarf or Tall-man a third drink, you serve me one too."
The whole room was quiet, watching. Finally, the barkeep pulled a third pint. Walking over, he handed this one to Chilchuck, who swallowed it down whole and lined it up next to the other two.
Dropping to the ground, he lifted his chin high, standing straight and still. "You serve me and mine the same as anyone else from now on, or I'll know the reason why. Got me?" His words were perfectly clear and enunciated, not even a hint of drag.
The barkeep nodded.
Turning, Chilchuck walked out of the tavern, without so much as a sway. Dandan could tell he was a little too steady, and slipped out after him.
He managed to hustle him into an alley just in time for Chilchuck to vomit in relative privacy.
"Holy crap," Dandan gasped, "Three pints? That's gotta be a third of your body weight. What the hell?”
"Showed him," Chilchuck slurred, trying to straighten up and failing. "Let him see. Half as... twice as! Showed him."
"Yeah. Yeah, you showed him."
Throwing Chilchuck's long arm around his shoulders, Dandan helped him down the back roads, keeping him talking. Not that it was too difficult. Chilchuck kept circling around the same idea, stumbling in and out of Common as he did so. All Dandan really knew of Halfish were the bad words, so he was able to follow most of it. Basically, Chilchuck disapproved of barkeeps who tried to pass off sub-par wares to folk just because they had a lower alcohol tolerance than others.