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Hancock wasn't one for extensive reflection. He preferred to live into the day, take things as they came and roll with the punches. Spending too much time agonising over the past or worrying about the future never did anyone any good and would have made him not half as good a mayor as he was. Most people assumed the chems acted as ways to keep his regrets away and those people were generally quick to give him lectures about how drugs weren't a good solution to any problem. They weren't that for Hancock. He used them because he liked them, not to drown out anything he didn't want to think about.
In fact, introsprection could be much deeper and enjoyable if hooked on a few Mentats or some Jet. Both, if the fancy took him. It was like this, his mind sharp and present from their combined effect, that he mused about the chances of him ever ending up here, in this little settlement so far away from Goodneighbor and Diamond City that it might as well have been another country entirely. Lying in a bed with a woman he loved and who wouldn't leave him come morning.
Even his surroundings, the repaired domestic pre-war glory was so much like Charlotte. A bit broken, a bit rough around the edges but shining with something that reminded Hancock of the old adverts that still hung around, promising an exciting and luxurious life with the purchase of their products. There was something in the way she talked, using slang two centuries out of date to describe things that were either new and alien to her or remembering things that would forever remain foreign to him. The way she said being a woman out of time and then always, without fail, make some obscure reference to a comic book hero whose stories hadn't survived the apocalypse. In the beginning it had intimidated Hancock as much as it aroused him. It seemed impossible that they'd ever find common ground, but here they were nonetheless. All in all, he was a damn lucky ghoul.
The quiet tapping of feet alerted him to company. A couple of people among Charlotte's friends moved on soft soles. This didn't sound like a big person accustomed to moving silent though, but like a small person trying not to wake everyone up.
"Hey kiddo." Hancock said as soon as Shaun stuck his head into their bedroom. His eyes were wide, hair a mess. It didn't take a genius to figure out what happened.
"'llo." Shaun mumbled, and lowered his head. He clung to the door frame, shuffled his feet. He cast a short look to his mother who sleept peacefully at Hancock's side.
"Had a bad dream?" Hancock asked. The kid nodded hesitantly.
"Don't worry bout it. Everyone has those. Uh ..." Hancock broke off, realising with a start that he had no idea what he was supposed to do.
When he was a kid his mother used to give him a few fingerfuls of whiskey for the night, but that was the kind of parenting strategy he felt he should clear with Charlotte first. But other than that he could think of nothing to help with nightmares. Shaun, bless his tiny little heart, came up with a solution.
"Can I sleep here tonight?" he asked.
What for, Hancock wanted to reply but thought better. He wished Charlotte was awake for this. This went precariously far into Parentingtm and that was something that he, much as he'd come to love a little domestic life, was not ready for. He had no idea how to take care of a kid. Sure he could take him out for a walk and show him how to use a gun. And there was nothing to it if he occasionally asked about Shaun's electronic projects. It was the same thing as showing interest in any of Charlotte's grown-up friends. The intricate details that separated interacting with a child from interacting with an adult were lost on Hancock. He'd never paid much attention to anyone younger than himself, figuring he'd never have kids even before he went ghoul. He wished now he had at least talked with Charlotte a bit more about what was expected of him in situations like these.
"Uh ... " Hancock said. "Sure? Sure. Crawl in, buddy."
Shaun smiled and climbed into bed between Hancock and Charlotte. He expected the kid to cuddle up to his mother, maybe even wake her to do whatever mother and son did when one was in need of comfort. What he didn't expect was a tiny arm slinging around his waist and Shaun's head resting just below his chest. He froze, arms hovering over Shaun, staring down at the kid who seemed to be utterly content cosying up to a ghoul, a stranger, a ... Hancock didn't know what he was to Shaun. Except a handy pillow, apparently.
His tiny hands grabbed fistfuls of his ruffled shirt, something over which he'd be cross any other day. Now it made his insides twist.
"Wanna tell me what your dream was about?" he asked to distract himself from the very unfamiliar feelings coming into bloom.
In his head, Hancock had never really stopped being 19. A bachelor, a messed-up excuse for a functioning adult, someone who needed parental guidance not was the parental guidance. There was some serious reconstruction needed on his world view that the kid insisted on tearing down by snuggling up and closing his eyes.
"I dreamed about the Institute." Shaun said sleepily and without fear now that he was safe with his parents. Hancock stopped this train of thought in its tracks. He wasn't the kid's parent. Being with his mom didn't make him his father.
"The Institute, huh? How it blew to hell?"
Shaun gave a head tilt probably meant to be a nod.
"I got lost after the Director told me to go to the relay. I haven't ever been up there before and there were people all running around and no one answered me when I asked them where to go. In the end I found Sturges and he said I could follow him. But when I dream about it, Sturges never shows up. I look for him but he isn't there and then ... then everything goes dark."
"Damn." Hancock said out of reflex. "That's some dark shit."
"It sucks." Shaun confirmed solemnly. Hancock laughed grovelly and messed up the kid's hair.
"Don't let your mom catch you use that kind of language."
They both looked over. Shaun, from his point, could only see his mother's shoulders and curly hair, the same tiny coils that he had once they'd stopped straightening his hair. But Hancock could see the corners of her mouth twitching. One part wanted to call her out for leaving him to deal with this responsible adult shtick by himself. The other was simply glad she was awake to intervene if he messed things up too bad.
"Mom curses a lot, too. Everyone does. I don't get why it's okay for everyone but me."
"Honestly? I don't get it either." Hancock said truthfully. He had in fact thought in depth about this topic before, if not in the context of teaching a child a valuable life lesson. He tended to get philosophical about the weirdest things when he was high. "I think it's supposed to keep it exciting. Half the fun of cussing is doing it because you're not supposed to. So when people use bad words they just do that thing where they look at each other like that-" Here he put on an exaggerated frown and pursed his lips until Shaun giggled. "And so when you curse it feels like you got away with something."
"When you use the same bad word a lot it gets kind of boring." Shaun agreed.
"See? So best keep the best stuff to yourself until you really need it."
"I don't know any real good words, though. I asked Cait if she would teach me some, but she said she'd get her bum kicked by Mom. And X6 just pretended he didn't know any curse words. But I know he's lying." Shaun added with the hushed whisper of the most serious of conspirators.
"I've heard him say 'hell' at least once." Hancock said and pretended as if he shared sensitive intel. Shaun nodded sagely.
"Can you teach me some curse words? I promise I only use them when I really really need to."
Ah, what the hell. Hancock was fairly certain he was going to get in trouble for this, but it was worth it for collecting some brownie points with the kid. He leaned down and whispered something in Shaun's ear who made a scandalised noise.
"People do that?"
"Sometimes."
"Have you done that before?"
"Well ... not with my own, but yeah."
Shaun stared at the wall while Hancock watched Charlotte's scrunched brow as she tried to work out what nefarious word he just taught her pure and innocent son. Yep, he was definitely getting in trouble for this. Shaun stared at the wall, apparently contemplating the various situations he could make creative use of this new addition to his vocabulary. His expressions changed rapidly with different scenarios. It was hilarious to watch, even without knowing details.
"Oh man. That's so cool." he said after a while, after having deemed the applicability of the new word acceptable.
"I know, right? Hey, wanna get some shut-eye? You gotta be tired."
As if in response Shaun yawned. Still he shook his head.
"I'm not that tired. I can stay up all night if I want to."
"I'm sure you can. Still, what about we call it a day and tomorrow we'll talk to your Mom about spending a few days in Goodneighbor, huh?"
"Really?" Shaun exclaimed, propping himself up on his hands, eyes shining with excitement. "Will Daisy be there? Can you ask Dr Amari if I can help her with her science? Can Fahrenheit take me out on her rounds again?"
Hancock laughed, making Shaun lay down again and wrapping his arms around the boy for good measure.
"I'll ask her. But only if you say good night now."
"Good night." Shaun parroted obediently. And then added something which sent Hancock reeling all over again: "Love you, dad."
Hancock's mouth dropped open. Shaun had closed his eyes and drawn the blanket up to his chin, blissfully unaware of the shitstorm he'd just started in Hancock's head.
He wasn't Dad material. He wasn't even boyfriend material, if he were to get technical about it. This wasn't what he'd signed up for, months ago when he shanked a dude to impress the pretty Vault girl. There were at least a dozen reasons why he should be the last person in their circle of friends to be called Dad by anyone, much less an impressionable kid. But here he was, an armful of ten-year-old calling him just that. He saw Charlotte out of the corner of his eyes, her eyes as wide as his, her hands clamped in front of her mouth. She was crying. His first instinct was to apologise, and to her dead husband while he was at it, but then he looked closer and saw she cried tears of joy. She caught him looking and turned slightly around, not enough to jostle Shaun. She reached out to take Hancock's hand and smiled a smile so big it seemed to brighten up the room. It never occurred to him that maybe she'd been hoping for this kind of thing to happen rather than dread it. Nate was gone and Shaun, this Shaun at least, didn't know him as his father. Maybe it had never been about Nate, or his absence, in the first place. Maybe Charlotte had carved this space out for him and hoped he'd take it. Shaun's easy acceptance made the choice for him, really. She lifted Hancock's hand to her lips and kissed it, the closest they could get with Shaun lying between them and slowly drifting off to sleep. There was a decent chance Hancock had on his face the goofy smile to end all goofy smiles but he didn't care.
"Love you, too." he said, both to Shaun and Charlotte.
Yeah, he definitely never would have guessed he'd end up here, in this place at this time. But now that he had it, he'd give up anything else to keep it.