Chapter Text
1 am . Kotoko should be asleep, she knows she should but there's so many things keeping her awake, she tosses and turns trying to sleep but the pain she in stops her from sleeping. She knows reasonably she probably deserved it, but she didn't expect John to be able to beat her as badly as he did . She wishes she had someone there to hold her and kiss her bruises , yet she's never experienced that so why does it sound like something that would feel normal for her. While so lost in thought she doesn't notice someone slowly entering into her cell , the figure getting closer and closer believing her to be asleep. When kotoko feels someone cuddle up to her she doesn't know what to do, her body is relaxing into their comforting touch yet she feels as if she should be terrified. Who knows what this person could do , she hears quiet breaths It's easy to tell who it is once her brain registers the sounds of the person entering her room plus the noise of the breaths, Mahiru Shiina, a woman kotoko never expected to be the type to invade the privacy of someone like her. So why does kotoko suddenly feel so safe so at peace that she thinks she's starting to finally fall asleep… maybe…..No! Kotoko seriously get a grip! This is mahiru fucking shiina you beat her nearly to death not even a month ago , no matter how comfortable you feel this is wrong! She thought about the comfort no matter how much her mind told her to stop, Kotoko still decided to roll over and wrap her arms around Mahiru, pretending to be asleep. Mahiru seemed to get closer to kotoko , nuzzling her face against kotoko's chest. After a few minutes of comforting silence Mahiru spoke up , “I know you're probably mad at me and when you wake up, I'll probably have to leave as quick as possible , but I had a nightmare. So my sleeping beauty, I want to be near you! Even if you hate me, you make me feel safe!” …….what …kotoko couldn't believe her ears, how could Mahiru still feel safe with her?! Kotoko felt as if she was trying to figure out a difficult math problem trying to understand mahirus' reasons until she felt tears start to roll down Mahiru's face . Oh lord she's crying, kotoko felt guiltier than ever , she doesn't know whether she should risk scaring Mahiru by comforting her and showing she was awake or if She should let Mahiru cry and let Mahiru find comfort in what she thinks is kotoko's sleeping self.
Love….it was never kotokos strongest emotion , sometimes kotoko wondered as if she could never love anyone, she knew types of sexualities can cause people not to feel romantic or sexual attraction, but the problem is kotoko felt both of those things! She was also so distracted by her pursuit of justice it scared one too many people away and Kotoko was fine with that, she was too focused on making sure justice was served. So why now was she feeling like love was radiating from her heart and clouding her thoughts with only mahiru ? This felt so wrong yet she doesn't want it to end.
Eventually Kotoko fell asleep with Mahiru held tightly in her embrace, it Felt as if nothing else existed except for her, Mahiru and the love they shared in that one moment, but good things must always come to an end.
She felt herself being dragged out of bed by kazui , she heard yelling and chaos, someone was asking her questions loudly and rudely but none of that was registering in her brain, only the fact mahiru was no longer in her arms, suddenly she heard a female voice screaming at kazui to put kotoko down.
that's when it registered that kotoko was being gripped by the throat, she gasped for air as she was sat down, rubbing her neck slightly before feeling Mahiru’s comforting embrace, she finally fully woke up , she saw mahiru crying and holding onto her and kazui standing over her with a glare of anger at kotoko and protection for mahiru. “What the actual fuck kazui ?!” Kotoko managed to yell in between gasps for the air that her lungs had not gotten while being strangled. Kazui mumbled something about mahiru being in her cell crying, a few mentions of her fang mentality from the others who had not understood the situation and thought kotoko had attacked again.
Kotokos mind raced with thoughts of showing them just how dangerous she could be , occasionally being interrupted With thoughts of proving that her occasional visits to mahirus cell were helping her become a better person, kotoko felt Herself about to see red , there were too many noises and she couldn't think right. She felt like a confused, violent, wolf.
Mahiru tried talking to kotoko but kotoko had completely shut down. Poor kotoko had always had an issue of shutting down when too stressed. she would pull at her hair, scream , cry , bite, and hide when she was little. As she got older she would usually just run or sit there unmoving, completely out of it until she calmed down. Kotoko started to stand trying to get away from the situation but ended up tripping and bashing her head against the ground when she landed.
Darkness ….all that filled her mind was darkness…. Voices around her filled the room but to her it sounded like her head was underwater drowning out everything.. she felt someone touch her hand and hold it , the hand holding hers was so soft and the room smelled of strawberries and gardens in the summer…. Mahi? She thought.
her precious mahiru was right next to her as she slept. It comforted kotoko to the point of no end to know mahiru was right next to her. Her mahiru. Her darling. Her love. Hers and only hers. The woman who had made kotoko softer in ways She never thought were possible. her heart had never been so incredibly full of love for anyone, but mahiru made her so incredibly happy, she opened her eyes to see mahiru sitting next to her half asleep but fighting to stay awake.