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Chuuya was walking with Dazai to their another mission for the Port Mafia. Dazai was smoking as always, he was already addicted to it so there was no point in stopping him.
"You're gonna die because of that shitty Dazai" Chuuya said looking at Dazai. "Aww you care about me slug?" Dazai looked at Chuuya and blowed the smoke into his face. "What? No, you can die, I couldn't care less.." Chuuya said looking straight into Dazai's eyes. "You know you love me Chuuya" Dazai said teasingly.
It was true Chuuya has developed some kind of feelings to Dazai just like Dazai to him. They actually loved each other but they didn't showed it because of the fear of abandoned. They didn't really want to loose each other.. but that would soon change.
They arrived at the place the mission was supposed to take place. Right away they heard guns loading at them and shooting but of course Chuuya stopped the bullets with his ability and shot them back at the shooters.
The mission was always a success with those two. It's not a suprise because of the way they work together and the way they're called the strongest duo. "Well that was easy" Chuuya said. "It's not done you slug, we also needed to investigate into the situation more, about the enemy organization" Dazai said and then crouched next to the corpse of the enemy searching him carefully.
"Did you find anything useful mareckel?" Chuuya said with a bored expression. "I found a note.." Dazai said and then hid the note into his pocket. "What does it say?" Chuuya asked curiously. "It doesn't matter, it's not that important. This mission was shitty." Dazai said walking around. "Just like you" Chuuya said hitting Dazai and then he walked away.
Dazai's eyes followed Chuuya but he didn't plan to go back to the base with him for now. Chuuya didn't turn back. He already knew that Dazai would come back later to the base. Besides he was already 18, he could take care of himself.
Dazai reached into his pocket, taking the note and reading it carefully again. His expression changed into some kind of worry. He pressed the note to his heart and then hid it in his pocket again.
He started walking in the opposite direction as Chuuya was walking. He would come back later, just not now. Dazai knew that Chuuya would handle the talk with the Boss so he didn't really worry about it.
The night has fallen and Dazai still didn't come back. He was sitting on the top of the building, thinking about his life and all his mistakes. He thought about meeting Odasaku in "their" bar. He left the rooftop and started walking to the direction where the bar was. He knew that Odasaku would be there at this time. He always was.
He walked into the bar and saw Odasaku there. His face lit up. Odasaku greeted him with a warm smile and took a sip of his drink. Dazai asked the bartender for a drink too.
"We had a mission today with Chuuya." Dazai said with excitement in his eyes, sipping his drink. "Of course you did.." Odasaku said finishing his drink and looking at Dazai. "I know you want something Dazai, what is it?" Odasaku said rolling his eyes with a slight smile. "Could you buy me more cigarettes.. You know they won't sell me them.." Dazai said. "I don't know Dazai. I just bought you a pack yesterday. You finished it already?" Odasaku looked at Dazai with a hint of worry in his eyes.
Dazai didn't reply. He was sipping onto his drink with a blank expression. After some minutes he replied. "I only have one left. I can give you the money and pay you extra. Just buy me them.. Please." Dazai said and then slowly turned to Odasaku.
Odasaku thought for some time. "Alright, whatever." He said slightly annoyed. "Just take care of yourself Dazai." Dazai looked at him and then said "I can take care of myself just fine!" Odasaku just rolled his eyes and got up. "You want to go get them now? We're finished with our drinks." "Alright, let's go" Dazai said, payed for the drinks and got out of the bar with Odasaku.
They walked for a while to the nearest shop. Dazai leaned on to the door frame and looked at Odasaku buying him cigarettes. He payed and then left the shop with Dazai. "Here you go" Odasaku said slightly worried for Dazai's health but he didn't really show it. Dazai took the cigarettes and immediately light one up and took a hit. "Ahhh I like this feeling. You know? I feel empty without them and when the smoke fills my lungs.. I feel alive?" Dazai said looking at the stars above them slowly taking another hit.
They walked some time in slience, just the smell of cigarettes around them and the mysterious atmosphere of the night in Yokohama. After some minutes their paths go the opposite way. "Bye Dazai, take care." Odasaku said slightly smiling, Dazai smiled back and went to the Port Mafia base to confirm that he's alive.
He got to the bosses office and walked in. "Well Dazai. I see you're alive." Mori said looking forward into the ocean in the dark. "Yes, boss. Did Chuuya confirm of the successful mission?" Dazai asked. "It wasn't so successful if you didn't get any useful information from it, I hope the next mission will go better.." Mori said turning to Dazai with a cold stare. Dazai not bothered replied "Yes, boss" he turned around and left Mori's room.
"Where have you been" Chuuya asked right after he closed the door to the bosses office. "In the bar talking with Odasaku and getting cigarettes." Dazai replied with no emotion. Chuuya rolled his eyes and punched him slightly. "You got me worried shitty Dazai" he murmured. "What?" Dazai said with a confused face, he actually knew what Chuuya said and it made his heart fill with warmth. "Nothing you asshole" Chuuya said grabbing Dazai by the hand and dragging him to his room.
Chuuya's room had a balcony and Dazai and him would sit there sometimes in silence, not fighting, just doing nothing. "This is a stupid question but do you have anyone in your mind right now?" Chuuya asked Dazai quietly. "Yeah. You and Odasaku" Dazai said not really thinking about it. Chuuya didn't really expect this answer but he was kind of happy.
Dazai looked at Chuuya and said "I need to go to the fucking shipping container." He stood up, kissed Chuuya on the cheek and quickly left. It was the first time Chuuya was kissed and it was soft and sweet. He blushed slightly but didn't say anything.
He looked at the stars and saw that Dazai had left his cigarettes here. He took one out and lighted it with matches because he doesn't have a lighter. It was his first cigarette in life but he wanted to try them for a long time now.
He took a hit and coughed immediately. The cigarettes were kind of bad but he didn't really care about it. Besides he just wanted to try.
He looked up the sky again and thought about life. About his past. About Dazai and what they've been through with each other and the kiss. Did it mean something or was it just teasing? He didn't really know what to think about it but he was kind of happy.
On one hand Dazai was annoying him everyday but on the second hand he's the one that's convinced that Chuuya is human. Chuuya doesn't feel like one but Dazai makes him feel human in some way at least. He's happy about that but he would never admit it to Dazai. It would be another thing Dazai could tease him about.
Chuuya himself kind of liked the teasing at least he had something to do and not be bored all day. With Dazai he felt different, he could do anything he wants because Dazai would just tease him about it and he wouldn't be offended if Chuuya did something wrong.
Dazai was the one person who didn't care about the way Chuuya was on the inside.
"Yoo... Can I stay here for the night?" Suddenly Dazai appeared and said. "Wait you smoking my cigarettes?" Chuuya looked at him then his cigarette then Dazai again. "Yes you can stay, whatever and yes I'm smoking your cigarette because I wanted to try it." Chuuya said looking at the sky again. "It's bad for you" Chuuya looked at Dazai in the eyes then rolled them and said "You hypocrite"
Dazai didn't say anything back just went to Chuuya's room, took his big clothes and went to the bathroom (finally).
After finishing the cigarette, Dazai finished showering. Chuuya looked at Dazai and said "Wow finally took a shower?" Dazai looked at Chuuya with a mocking expression. "Wow finally took a shower?. Shut up you slug. There's no shower in the container..." Dazai then rolled his eyes and put on the big shirt.
"Man this is really your biggest shirt?" Dazai said and turned again to Chuuya. "Yes?" Chuuya said grabbing his clothes to the bathroom. "Small chibi" Chuuya just rolled his eyes on this comment and went to shower.
Dazai was laying on Chuuya's bed waiting for him to come back from the shower. They already slept a few times together, mostly because it was too cold in the shipping container for Dazai's liking. So he'd just come to Chuuya and Chuuya understood that and let him sleep with him. It was normal for them now. Even tho they seem to hate each other they still care about each other and there's strong trust between them.
Chuuya got out and saw Dazai on his balcony smoking. He rolled his eyes and went to his cupboard next to bed, he saw there his unfinished wine so he finished it and went to the balcony to sit next to Dazai.
Watching the port from above he felt at peace. He then looked at Dazai. Dazai didn't really notice it at first but then he felt someone staring at him. He turned his head to face Chuuya and they were making eye contact. It wasn't awkward it was kind of peaceful.
After some minutes Chuuya asked "Why did you kiss me on the cheek earlier?" Dazai blushed a little. "Did you like it?" He said teasingly. Chuuya just rolled his eyes and looked at Dazai again "I'm serious mackerel"
Dazai didn't reply and they were staring at each other. Chuuya saw Dazai smile a little so he slightly smiled too. "To be honest, I don't know." Chuuya looked at Dazai and then rolled his eyes "Of course, you don't know" Chuuya said looking out the balcony.
After some minutes of staring at Chuuya Dazai replied. "You're different than all the people I met." He then turned around to face the direction where Chuuya was looking and quietly added "That's what makes me love you..." He then closed his eyes and hoped that Chuuya didn't hear this.
"To be honest, those cigarettes are kind of good." Chuuya suddenly said and looked at Dazai. "I know right?" Dazai said smiling. "But they're mine so I can give you one more and that's all." He added with a teasing smile. "Who said I wanted to develop an addiction like you mackerel." Chuuya stated teasingly. Dazai just rolled his eyes and gave Chuuya a cigarette. He took out one for himself too.
Dazai and Chuuya were the most powerful duo in the Mafia. Mori sent them on various missions together. They were always bickering on them but they got the job done. It all changed one day, the day Oda went where he shouldn't have gone.
"Odasaku!" Dazai shouted, this was the first time he felt this much emotion. This was heartbreaking for him.
"What am I supposed to do now?" he asked with tears in his eyes.
"I know... You joined the mafia to find a reason to live... But... You're never gonna fill the void in your heart... No matter what you do... But if both sides are the same to you... Be on the side that protects people. It's more beautiful." Oda said with a calm voice looking Dazai directly into the eyes.
"How would you know?" Dazai said with despair in his voice.
"I know my friend better than anyone." Oda said as he took off the bandages from Dazai's face.
Dazai went to Chuuya's apartment. He just sat there at the balcony. Depressed, without any feeling. He hated everything. He knew that he needed to do what Odasaku asked him to do, but he was so broken now. He didn't know how to feel about anything.
He lit up his last cigarette from the pack and slowly smoked it. Chuuya looked at him from the bed. He knew something was wrong, but if he asked Dazai wouldn't tell him. Even if Dazai and Chuuya trusted each other, he knew that Dazai always bottled up his emotions and didn't speak of any of his problems. He just sat there unsure of what to do.
After finishing the cigarette, Dazai exited the balcony and stood in front of Chuuya. He looked him in the eyes and suddenly kissed him on the lips. Chuuya was shocked but he gave into the kiss.
"I'm sorry..." Dazai said as he went to the door of Chuuya's apartment leaving Chuuya shocked.
Dazai was slowly walking towards a famous bridge. Where most people took their life. He hated pain. He hated the fact that Odasaku is no longer here. He hated the fact that he fell in love with Chuuya. He hated everything that happend to him.
So what if nothing would ever happen to him again?
"I'm sorry Odasaku... And Chuuya..." Dazai said with pain in his voice as he leaned on the edge of the bridge...
Chuuya was sitting next to a grave. "Osamu Dazai" written on it. He looked at the grave and then up.
"You left me for good... huh."