Chapter Text
In a Tokyo-3 hospital, during a cataclysmically hot September night, Kaworu Nagisa was born. To a mother and a father, just like any other child. He finally had a home to return to, a place where he belonged.
A deathly pale child with blood red eyes. Doctors assured the parents that it was a rare, but harmless disorder. After all, Kaworu was healthy. So healthy in fact, that he barely had a scratch on his body throughout his entire childhood. Wounds could be seen occassionally, but would be gone in a matter of hours, if not minutes. ’’How blessed we are to have such a healthy son,“ his father said. His mother, however, had doubts. But no matter how hard she looked, she could never find a single imperfection on his skin, or anywhere else on his body. Not a trace.
’’Blessed, huh,“ she said with a sigh.
Kaworu was lost. What had started as simple curiosity for the unusually shaped box on the other side of the store isle, ended with a nightmarish void in his chest. Where did Mom go?
Kaworu was alone. The rattling of the box was not unlike what Kaworu had already heard before. Disappointed, he dropped it on the floor. The floor was shiny, and he found himself staring at his own reflection. When he stepped on it suddenly, his shoes made a funny noise. Mom really liked them when she picked them out for him. Where did Mom go?
People were passing him by coldly, nonchalantly waving indigo baskets in their hands, almost hitting him in the face. But suddenly, he saw the back of a woman with long black hair wearing a bright red jacket and his face lit up.
’’Mom!“ he said, as he tugged on her shirt. He couldn’t wait to see her face again and feel her comforting embrace. Everything in here was so cold.
The woman, however, turned around and shattered his hopes.
’’Oh...“ the woman said, apologetically, ’’Don’t cry little boy, it’s okay.“ She wiped the tears from his eyes and took his hands. They were warm.
’’I’ll take you home, alright?“ she said, and Kaworu smiled. He still held on to her hand as they were exiting the grocery store.
’’What luck, I cleaned up just in time for you! And when we get home, I’ll make lunch right away so we can eat together as a family again. I’m sure your brother will be so happy to see you’re back!“
Kaworu nodded and kept smiling. Her hand was still warm.
’’Kaworu! What the hell are you doing?!“
The second question seemed to be directed at the woman accompanying him. Quickly, Mom pulled Kaworu’s hand away.
’’I was just about to take him to... to...“ she was touching her head and looking into the distance. It wasn’t long before her gaze fell on Kaworu once again, her eyes glassy, wet, empty. But her voice was completely clear when she asked, ’’Didn’t I burry him already?“
’’Kaworu, let’s go.“ Mom said, looking at the woman with pure hatred in her eyes. They left without buying anything.
Kaworu turned around to see the woman still standing near the automatic entrance, staring at him with dazed confusion. His mother never held his hand as hard as she did on the way back.
’’You just let him walk away?!“
’’It was only for a second, okay? I found him a minute afterwards. You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to him.“
’’Misato, you did let something happen to him. Our child was almost kidnapped, for God’s sake! Please tell me you at least called the cops.“
’’What was I supposed to do? There’s no proof! Besides, the woman looked completely out of it. Maybe she really did believe that-“ She stopped abruptly and took a deep, strained breath. Kaworu thought that she might cry.
Both of his parents were sitting by the table in despair, his father with his head in his hands. Mom got up when she noticed Kaworu staring from the distance of his room and, for a few seconds, seemed horribly regretful. But when she got close to him, her confident posture returned.
’’Don’t go wandering on your own, okay?“ She said with a forced smile. ’’And don’t go with strangers. Not everyone is as nice as they may seem. If you get lost, just wait in the same place, and I’ll find you. Always, I promise.“
She broke eye contact with him and her smile withered. Her distant gaze was not unlike the one the woman from the grocery store had. A few seconds passed before she spoke, in an eerily serious tone.
’’That woman lied to you. This is where you belong, Kaworu. You’re my kid. A normal kid.“
She said, hugging him tightly, so tightly, as if he might slip away.
’’Happy birthday, Kaworu!“ his mom said.
’’Happy birthday, son!“ his dad said and from behind him, pulled out a small, but high-quality toy piano, wrapped with a big red bow. ’’Ta-daa!“
’’Wow! A piano!“ Kaworu shouted and jumped to hug his dad. ’’Thank you!“
’’You’re welcome, kiddo,“ Dad said, with a smile. ’’My, six years already. Look at how much you’ve grown! At this rate, you’ll be bigger than me.“
Dad ruffled his hair and Kaworu laughed. Then he went to hug his mom too.
’’Happy birthday,“ his mom said again. Kaworu raised his head and looked at her for a few moments. She was so warm, and so tall. He hoped that Dad was right, that he would be as tall as them one day and see them all grow old as a family together. The thought made his smile even wider. Mom quickly averted her gaze and let him go with an awkward laugh. ’’Shall we go cut the cake?“
Kaworu agreed enthusiastically and went on to inspect the present he was given in the meantime. As he undid the bow, he felt a strange sort of nostalgia. So, he began to play. And as he did, he was flooded with indescribable feelings. Familiar feelings of regret from the past, and unknown hope from the future. Of loneliness and love, isolation and connection, despair and happiness.
The moment he stopped, he was met by two shocked pairs of eyes. As they stared, Mom and Dad were whispering something to each other. The unnerving, sudden change, too, felt familiar.
’’Mom? Dad? What happened?“
’’Kaworu,“ his father crouched and looked him in the eye, ’’where did you hear that music? The one you just played.“
’’Before.“
’’Before what? When?“ his mom said, sharply.
’’Before I met you and dad.“
Dad turned around to look back at Mom, who was petrified. It was the wrong answer.
’’Dad, can I still play?“ Kaworu asked, almost in tears.
’’Oh, of course you can,“ he clapped his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. ’’Your music was beautiful. Your mom and I just want to know more about this ’time’ before you knew us.“
’’Oh, come on,“ Mom said. ’’Just cut the bullshit already. He heard it on TV or something. It’s just childish imagination.“
’’Misato, language!“
’’Go ahead then. Listen to his lies. They’re just at that age, after all.“ She ran out of the room in a panic.
Dad got to his feet, furious. But before he went after Mom, he took a deep breath and spoke to Kaworu once again.
’’Your mother can have a short temper but... Please understand. This is hard for her to talk about.“
Kaworu could only nod. Silently, he picked up the toy piano again. The cake was laying untouched on the table while he headed towards his room. As he heard his parents’ muffled shouting through the walls, he clasped his hands together and prayed.