Chapter Text
‘I like y—‘
“WAAA!”
I jumped out of my skin as I heard Becky’s voice right beside my shoulder. Immediately closing my laptop so she wouldn’t see… hoping she didn’t see what I had been typing. I looked over my shoulder and saw her eyeing me with a raised eyebrow and took a quick glance at the laptop. I immediately tried to get her attention.
”Beeec~ I told you not to scare me like that!” I chastised her with a playful tone. She giggled and plopped herself on the bed.
“It was just too hard to resist, P’Freen, I did call your name a few times you know. What were you so focused on anyway that you didn’t notice me?” She asked as she opened up a book.
My heart started beating fast at the question, in both relief that she did not actually see what I was writing, and anxiety as I now had to come up with something believable so she wouldn’t pry.
”It was nothing… just…” I was trying hard to come up with something. She raised an eyebrow again in question.
”Just…?” She asked, prompting me to continue.
”Script… Script! Yes, I was just reviewing some lines for Rider. I know we’re gonna be busy the next few days with the Gala Premiere so I wanted to get a head start for next week's Q.” I finally managed to say.
“Hooo~ very diligent are we?” She teased, and finally diverted her attention to her book. I let out a small sigh of relief as she seemed to have bought it. I didn’t like lying to Becky like this, but it’s not like I had a choice. If she found out it would definitely ruin everything we have right now.
We’ve talked about it before a few years ago when by chance we found out how many people on the internet seemed to speculate on what our relationship is. It didn’t help that P’Nam was spearheading the teasing and fueling the fire more, and it also didn’t help that both of us were just naturally clingy towards one another and a bit protective of the other.
I know my displays of concern over her showing too much skin and people flirting with her definitely painted me as more like a jealous girlfriend, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to protect her and I knew a beautiful girl like her would get lots of attention, both good and possibly bad.
Oddly enough it was Becky who asked me about what I thought about the speculations.
=~=~=
“Do you think it’s weird that people are shipping us?” Becky asked me while she was scrolling on twitter. We had just finished filming a scene for a new episode of Gap, and she had decided to stay over at my place that night since we had an early start the next day and it was easier to just go there together.
“Mmm, I don’t think so? I mean we are starring in a Y-series together. I think it would have been weirder if there wasn’t any shipping.” I replied while concentrating on my current task of mixing scents for a candle I was making.
”No I get that, but what I meant was like… US.” She asked and I got confused.
”What do you mean?” I asked her. She sat up and put her phone down.
”I mean I get light-hearted shipping, I think that’s standard although not much in the west from what I’ve seen. But I meant people are actually asking and wondering about our actual relationship status. The shipping is fine, I mean I certainly tease them about it too. But people are now actually saying that we’re… you know… an actual couple.” She said the last part almost shyly. I stopped what I was doing and faced her fully as I shrugged my shoulders.
”I did figure that might happen eventually. But there’s nothing we can really do about it, you know? The internet will think what they want to think.” I answered her honestly. She put her hand on her chin, seeming to think.
”I guess you’re right. Although I feel like we might break them if we actually were a couple and admitted it.” She said as she giggled and grabbed one of my stuffed animals on the bed and snuggled it looking at me cutely. I decided candle making could wait and got up from my seat and playfully pinched her cheek.
”Well it’s a good thing we aren’t. I don’t want to think how much that would probably turn our entire lives upside down more than it currently is.” I said as she let out an exaggerated mock gasp.
”Are you saying you wouldn’t want to date me?” She asked as she acted hurt.
”Well according to the internet we already are anyway.” I replied as I laughed and suddenly she grabbed me, pushed me down on the bed and started tickling me. I screamed in glee as I tried to get her to stop.
”Bec Bec~ NOOO” I managed to gasp out as she finally relented and let me go. She plopped down on the bed right next to me also gasping for air.
”For what it’s worth. You would totally make for an awesome girlfriend” She said as she looked at me with her 1000 watt smile she always had with me. The one you couldn’t help but reciprocate.
”And you…” I started to say looking into her eyes.
”Would make whoever you ended up dating. The luckiest person alive” I finished.
=~=~=~
A lot has changed since that night. Gap became an international success. Gathered fans all around the world. A lot more fans meant a lot more eyes on us, and a lot more speculation. If I was completely honest it became a bit overwhelming. With the good people who enjoyed the show and enjoyed our content there were a lot of bad as well who only tried to tear us down.
Both of us made sure to keep the other grounded. We also made sure that we always supported one another and kept each other safe. As close as we were I didn’t think it was possible to be even closer, but we managed it. Seeing Becky grow so much into her own self. I couldn’t help but feel so much admiration for her. And when what happened last year… happened… and the noise became too much. Becky was there. She held my hand, wiped my tears, and kept assuring me that none of it was my fault. She kept me safe, made me feel secure, made me feel that I was still… loved.
Maybe it was then that I really started thinking about us. I knew I liked taking care of the people around me, especially those I cared for deeply. But it never really did occur to me how much I liked taking care of Becky or how comparable it is to the other people I cared for. How much I liked having her close to me, almost to the point of never wanting to lose physical contact. But we both knew some things had to change, especially the things we showed the public. It was hell for those months, it was almost as if we were damned if we did and damned if we didn’t. But eventually we realized something.
Whatever was between us was enough.
The public didn’t need to be privy to whatever we had behind the camera. And whatever bad things people said was just background noise. We still had fans, good honest loyal fans who stuck by us.
Eventually we started feeling more comfortable showing forms of affection in public again, not as much as before, but it was in a comfortable space. Though that still didn’t stop people’s speculation of course.
Things started to click for me. Every smile, every laugh, and every touch from Becky made me feel something new. It was as if things finally started making sense. All the care I gave her, the protectiveness, the support. I wanted to give her all of those things because every time I did I felt my heart feel so full. I had thought it was because I saw her as a little sister and maybe for a time I did, but it had already developed into something more before I even realized it.
Even now as she laid there on my bed reading her book. Her forehead scrunched up a little in concentration. I had the same thought in my head as the first time I saw her at the workshop.
’She’s beautiful’
I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn’t even realize that she was looking at me now.
”P’Freen, you okay? You’re staring at me” she said with a playful smile on her lips. I immediately looked away.
Yes, things would definitely go wrong if she found out. I know she wouldn’t be cruel; she’s not like that, but whatever we have right now will definitely change, and I can’t lose that. I can’t lose her. I looked back with a smile.
”I’m fine, was just going to tease you about your forehead scrunch again. You always look so mad when you concentrate like that” I teased and she let out a whine.
”P’Freeeen, mean!” She said as she sulked as she crossed her arms. I couldn’t help but laugh at the scene and stood up and patted her on the head.
”There, there, Nong, I’m just teasing it’s actually really cute” I said as she smiled triumphantly.
”I’m going to get some water, would you like one? Actually no, don't answer that I’ll get you one. We really need to increase your water intake.” I said as I shook my head and headed towards the door.
”Hey, P’Freen?” I heard her call out to me so I looked back and saw her with a bit of a serious look.
”Yeah?” I asked and waited for her question.
“I’d like to know how it ends.” Was all she said. I knew I had a confused look on my face. And started to ask
”How what en—“ And I froze. All the air escaped my lungs and my heart threatened to beat out of my chest as I saw her look at the closed laptop and back at me.
She saw.