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I can hear steps on the other side of the door as GW gets up. I was hoping to be able to slip back into bed before he woke, but I’m still sitting on the cold bathroom floor bend over the toilet. I quickly stand up as I hear the door opening. As I do the nausea only gets worse, but I’m determined to stay upright despite it.
“Morning!”
I say it in a chipper voice trying not to sound like someone who was just sick.
“Why are you up so early?”
His tone makes it clear he’s not falling for the act.
“Just had to use the bathroom.”
“And now you have, so you can go back to bed.”
He makes his way towards me as he speaks, easily lifting me into his arms once he has reached me.
“No, GW, please. I told you I’m not actually sick. It’s normal for humans to feel like this when they’re pregnant and people don’t just stay in bed they still go out and go to work and…”
“And I told you I don’t care what humans do.”
He carefully puts me down on the bed. Since we found out I was pregnant with his pup he’s been much gentler, it’s nice but the protectiveness is starting to be a little much. He brushes some of the hair out of my face, snickering as I continue to pout.
“What’s wrong Pet? You’re usually begging me to let you stay in bed.”
“Well, it’s no fun when I’m all alone.”
“I have work.”
He walks off as he starts getting dressed.
“I know I know, but maybe I could…”
I consider what I could say that GW might agree to. Tiggy will be working too, and I doubt asking to stay with Rhin would give me the result I’m hoping for.
“I could stay with Lee for the day. I mean he’s usually in his room or the library right, unless he has a meeting, but if he does, I could just come back here.”
“No. Nobody in the palace is dumb enough to come into my room without my permission so you’re staying here.”
He’s still getting ready as he speaks, his back turned to me.
“But it’s not like I would be alone I’d be…”
The way he stares at me as he turns around makes the rest of my sentence stick in my throat. He doesn’t say anything as he walks towards the bed, but it still makes me sink into the sheets.
“I said no, pet.”
His tone doesn’t leave any room to argue and it’s clear I already pushed my luck too far.
“I’m sorry.”
I wish my voice didn’t sound so small, but I can’t help it with the way he’s towering over me. Neither of us says anything else as he finishes his morning routine. He pauses in the door on his way out it seems he considers something for a moment before turning around.
“If you can be good and rest while I work, we’ll do something fun when I come back alright?”
I force a smile as I answer.
“I will, I promise.”
Seemingly satisfied by my answer he leaves, locking both the bedroom door as well as the door to the hallway as he does. I bury my face in the pillow sighing. The first day spent in bed was kinda nice, but now I’m on my third day of being left alone in the bedroom. GW has ensured that there’s plenty of packaged food here to keep me full and it certainly is one of the safer places in the palace, still the boredom is starting to get to me, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do for the next couple of hours.
I should probably start out by eating some breakfast, but the nausea still hasn’t disappeared and none of the food options seem particularly tempting. There’s only really one thing I want right now and it’s the cookie dough ice cream from the shop down the street back on the surface. The craving started days ago and despite my best attempts to forget about it the thoughts keep coming back. For some reason, my pregnancy brain has decided that the only thing it wants is something it can’t have.
The ice cream shop was only open in the summers, and I remember always going there on the opening day to buy the same thing, a single scoop of cookie dough ice cream. Then I would hurry down to my favorite spot by the sea to enjoy my treat. I remember always thinking it was the perfect date spot but never getting around to bringing anyone there. As I lie in bed alone in the gloomy room I can’t help but imagine what GW would think if we could go there. He would probably say the ice cream was too sweet and then tell me the whole thing was stupid or boring or something. But I’m pretty sure he would still go, that he would sit there criticizing the whole thing but still stay with me and hold me tightly as we sat there on the beach. If I ask in the right way, if I tell him how much it would mean I’m sure he would. I feel the tears start to prickle at the back of my eyes. I’m not entirely sure if it’s because I miss GW, or the surface, or maybe just because I’m left in this stupid room all day. For the last couple of days, the hormones have been making my mood all kind of messed up.
I try to shake the thoughts of ice cream dates on sunlit beaches and instead distract myself. I try reading, drawing, figuring out how to play chess with only one player, anything to keep my mind occupied but the time seems to move at a snail’s pace and eventually, I end up back in bed returning to my daydreams. Imagining how he would wrap his arms around me as we embrace in the last rays of the setting sun. How his lips would feel as he kisses me. I don’t bother holding back the tears this time, it’s not like anyone will see me and maybe I’ll actually feel better afterwards.
Too absorbed in my own thoughts I don’t hear the door unlock, only realizing GW has returned when he grabs my shoulders pulling me to a sitting position his eyes running over my body searching for any sign of what’s wrong.
“What the hell happened?”
His voice is a mix of concern and anger. I’m too stunned to say anything as I just stare at him. The surprise from his sudden arrival causing me to stop crying. When he fails to find any signs of injury his eyes meet mine.
“Answer.”
“N-nothing!”
His brows furrow.
“Don’t lie to me.”
As the initial shock subsides, I can feel the tears starting to run down my cheeks again. It isn’t helping that he’s looking so upset with me.
“I’m not! I-it’s nothing, I’m fine. It’s just that… I… well…”
My words mix with my sniffling and sobbing as I try to find something to say. My voice slowly becoming quieter.
“I’m sorry. I just… I just missed you. I know it’s stupid. I’m sorry.”
My voice is little more than a whisper when I finally manage to get the words out. It seems that it takes him a few seconds to fully understand what I said as he continues to stare at me while I look away trying to get my crying under control. Once he does his expression softens and he settles himself on the edge of the bed pulling me into his lap. Supporting me with one hand while the other runs through my hair.
“Yeah, you’re right it’s stupid so stop crying, okay?”
Despite the slight harshness of the words, his voice is soft and gentle.
“I’m sorry, I’m trying, I promise I really am.”
“Stop apologizing pet.”
“Okay”
We sit like that for some time as I close my eyes letting myself enjoy the comfort of being held like this. Once my crying has mostly stopped, I carefully rest my head on his shoulder.
“Feeling better?”
I nod into his shoulder while I speak.
“Thank you”
He hums as he moves his hand from my hair to my belly. It still isn’t too obvious but it’s definitely bigger than normal. As he holds his hand on my stomach, he gently runs his thumb over it.
“That really why you were crying, 'cause you missed me so much?”
“Yeah. Well… mostly because of that.”
I regret my words as soon as I said them. He looks back into my eyes not even having to say it for me to know what he wants. I can feel my cheeks get warm a little embarrassed to have to tell him the other reason I was upset. But it isn’t like I have much of a choice, he will get me to tell him sooner or later anyway.
“It was also a bit because I really miss ice cream.”
I can’t get myself to look him in the eyes, feeling stupid as I say it. He huffs quietly shaking his head. However, I don’t miss the way the corners of his mouth twitch up just a little.
“You promise to never do that again, I’ll get you some ice cream.”
I can’t help but smile as I nuzzle my face into his neck.
“I promise, thank you.”