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There was a loud knock at the door.
No question who it was, he only had one flatmate after all.
Sanji guessed he should be grateful that Zoro learned how to knock at all.
When he first moved in he’d just acted like the whole place belonged to him.
Sanji ignored the knock and turned the volume of his headphones up. He was trying to wallow in self pity in peace here!
“What are you doing?” Zoro asked loudly from outside the door.
Sanji sighed and pushed his headphones down to his neck.
“Watching porn!” he called back.
“Oh, okay.”
Without missing another beat his flatmate came striding into the room.
Sanji instantly shut his laptop and sat up. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” he yelled.
“You’re a bad liar,” Zoro just said with a shrug and sat down on Sanji’s bed uninvited.
“So it went bad, huh?” he was referring to Sanji’s date night with the cute barista it’d taken him two months to finally talk to.
“Were you being weird again? Did she run away screaming?”
“None of your business, asshole!”
“You kinda made it everyone’s business!”
It was all Nami this and Nami that for days on end. Zoro felt entitled to at least some details.
“She stood me up,” Sanji gritted out.
Zoro took a whistling breath through his teeth.“Ouch!”
“Yep,” Sanji gave a tense shrug, “now get the hell out of my room!”
But Zoro didn’t make any effort to get up, instead he crossed his legs and pulled Sanji’s laptop onto his lap. When he opened it and the display lit up, his eyebrow quirked.
“Wait, this isn’t porn!” he gasped in fake puzzlement.
“Okay, you got me, I was watching a movie that’s not rated 18+, is that a crime now?!”
“For you? If not a crime then at least suspicious behaviour.”
“Oh, haha, the world lost a comedian by you going into sports sciences.”
“Hm, ‘Ten things I hate about you’,” Zoro read the title on the screen, “hey, they made a movie about us!” he commented, grinning one of his dumb grins.
“What the hell, marimo?!” Sanji looked at him in utter confusion and slight alarm.
Zoro blinked. “What?”
“Wait...you haven’t seen it, have you?!”
“Not a movie person, remember?”
“Oh right, that would require you sitting still for more than a few minutes.” Sanji looked pointedly at the restless hand Zoro was drumming against his knee.
Zoro stopped fidgeting and demonstratively clamped his hand over his knee, to keep it still. “Well at least I’m not a huge nerd!” he gave back very maturely.
“Oh ouch, you really got me there!” Sanji rolled his eyes.
Sanji was kind of a nerd, he owned that openly. Watching 2000s romcoms, however… not so much.
The green haired boy narrowed his eyes. “You’re not getting out of this, let’s see what this movie’s about.”
His hand threateningly hovered over the space bar for a few moments.
Sanji snatched the computer away from him swiftly. “Stop it!”
“What?!...I really wanna see it, I’m not joking!”
“And I want you to leave me in peace!”
"What, so you can cry yourself to sleep?” Zoro challenged.
“Probably,” Sanji admitted, “...so will you just go?!” he sighed.
The other seemed to consider it for a moment. “Nah… restart the movie!”
“Ugh,” Sanji groaned, “God, why me?!”
It actually wasn’t God who had decided that they were going to share a flat, but the uni’s almighty administrative algorithm, which was the next closest thing.
“Look,” Zoro turned to him earnestly, “you had a bad day…so what?!…No reason to get hung up about it!”
Sanji resented his tone. “I don’t need your pity!” he scoffed.
“Good ‘cos you’re not getting any! Start the damn movie!”
“Don’t tell me what to do, mosshead!”
“Hmp,” Zoro frowned. Then, without warning, grabbed for the laptop.
Yelling and scrambling ensued.
“Get your hands off it!”
“Make me!”
Sanji scooted away from him and was about to get up from the bed, when Zoro caught him by the leg and pulled him back.
The blond tried to hold the computer as far away as he could, so Zoro couldn’t reach it.
The other scrambled towards it, not minding that he was climbing over Sanji.
That’s how Zoro ended up on top of Sanji.
And that’s how Sanji ended up with a pulse of 180 and a beet red face.
His blood actually wasn’t sure where to go. To the tips of his already flushed ears, or to a completely different region of his body.
He counted his blessings that, for now, it decided to stay in his face.
“Get off!” he tried to keep the panic from his voice.
“Then, give it!”
“Get OFF!”
He gave Zoro a kick to his chest, but the other just absorbed it like it was nothing. Stupid, muscly brute!
A grin spread on Zoro’s face. “You’re gonna have to try harder!”
Sanji could not take another second of this, so he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.
“I could go to the dean and have you thrown out for sexual harassment,” Sanji attempted.
“Sure, that’d be ironic!” Zoro laughed and didn’t move an inch.
The blond boy went quiet, trying not to let his touch-starved brain turn their current position into anything it wasn’t. Otherwise he would be the one having to move out, out of sheer embarrassment.
Zoro took a glance at Sanji's face that had turned pale and serious, and his smile instantly fell.
Now it was his turn to be flustered.
“You’re not serious, are you? ‘Cos I...I don’t wanna move out! I… I kinda like living with you and…”
He scrambled to get off of Sanji and jumped up from the bed, his hands held out in front of him defensively. “If you want me to go, I’ll go! I just wanted to cheer you up, for real bro!”
Sanji sat up slowly and took a deep breath as he studied his flatmate for a moment.
“No!”
“No, what?”
“No I won’t report you, idiot! And no...you don’t have to leave...just...stop acting weird!”
After a short sigh of relief, Zoro was back on his bullshit impressively quickly. Within a few seconds he was sat on the edge of the bed expectantly.
Sanji sighed in resignation and pulled the laptop between them, scooting back towards the wall, waiting for Zoro to do the same.
“ONE word about the movie and I’ll kick your ass!” he threatened.
“Got it!”
Zoro held to the deal. He not so much as raised an eyebrow at the film.
Actually he seemed to really enjoy it.
But even though he tried his hardest not to interrupt the movie, he still managed to.
They were about half way through, when the rumbling of Zoro’s belly loudly interrupted them.
Sanji paused the movie instantly. Before Zoro could say anything, let alone protest, Sanji had jumped up and rushed into the kitchen.
Zoro ended up awkwardly looking around his flatmates room, listening to the clattering of dishes and the dinging of the microwave, before Sanji finally came back in.
“Here you go!” he smiled holding out a bowl of fresh popcorn to Zoro.
He took it gladly and eased himself back into a more comfortable position, making space for Sanji to scoot in next to him.
“She’s an idiot!” Zoro mumbled around the popcorn in his mouth.
“What?”
“That barista chick, she’s an idiot for standing you up!”
Sanji’s gaze shifted downward, trying to avoid Zoro’s. “I’m sure she had her reasons…”
“Her loss!” Zoro shrugged and shoved another handful of popcorn into his mouth.
When he turned back towards him, after a few seconds of silence, Sanji was still looking at him.
“What?” Zoro chuckled, “you’re shocked I don’t actually hate you?”
“No, asshole!” he huffed, “I knew you didn’t hate me, it’s just...thanks…thanks for...you know...”
“Whatever…” his roommate shrugged again.
“Yeah, whatever...”
Only when the credits started rolling did Zoro dare to speak again.
“Maybe this movie is about us, I bet you’d write a hate poem just like that.”
“Nah...I was about to write you a list though, but then I wasn’t sure you could read.”
“Hah, classic! You trying to steal my comedy career now?”
Zoro considered the eyeroll and small smile from the blond a win.
“But hey, only ten things? I can work with that!” he mused.
With a yawn Zoro let himself glide down the wall and fully onto the mattress. “Can I sleep here?”
“Ugh no! You’re gonna smell up the sheets!”
“Oh come on, I showered!”
“Not enough!” Sanji kicked him lightly in his side.
With a groan Zoro sat back up, before attacking Sanji’s face with his freshly washed armpit.
Sanji struggled and managed to get away far enough for a fresh breath of air.
“You’re so gross!”
“I’m gross?! You don’t think I know what goes on on these sheets, bro?” he asked with his eyebrows raised.
Sanji opened his mouth to protest, but couldn’t come up with anything better than: “You need to shut the hell up, bro!”
That made his flatmate laugh. “Is that a yes?” he asked, already burying his head back into the pillow.
“How are you a sports student too lazy to walk 5 steps to your room?”
With a sigh Zoro turned onto his back and glanced at the blond. “Maybe I had a long day too…”
That gave Sanji pause. “Fine,” he finally gave in.
“I don’t really hate you either...” Sanji whispered into the dark room.
He’d been wanting to say it for a while, but had only now worked up the courage to disrupt the comfortable quiet.
“I know!”
The mattress dipped as Zoro shifted his position to finally find one that would make him fit on the bed more comfortably.
He ended up scooting closer, but had to lay uncomfortably still, as to not touch Sanji. It seemed that he was even too scared to breathe, in case he could brush the other.
Another few seconds passed, before he finally gave up. “Are you going to report me if I…”
Sanji felt Zoro’s arm reaching over his middle.
After an initial moment of discomfort, the weight and warmth of it felt grounding. So Sanji shook his head and Zoro pulled him closer.
“Okay?”
“Mhm,” Sanji didn’t manage a real answer. His brain couldn’t quite provide him with anything you were supposed to say in a situation like this.
“Okay!” With that Zoro relaxed against him, his chest firmly pressing against Sanji’s back.
Neither of them spoke again, but they both listened.
Listened contently to the other’s breathing and sleepy sighs.
And before he fell asleep, Sanji had the strangest thought: Thank God for the almighty administrative algorithm!
