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Everyone Natalie Scatorccio has ever loved has kept her like a secret, burying their relationship as though they're ashamed.
That is, until Lottie Matthews.
—
She's not sure the exact moment ataraxia had washed over her life, even if only existed in small snippets of time, but it feels a lot like the first time she met the force that is Lottie Matthews.
The girl, the goddess, had just moved to town and when she walked into the shithole of a high school for the first time, her eyes laid upon Nat's within seconds. And she immediately smiled at her, and nobody else, something Travis or Kevyn or the other slew of guys had never done.
Something shifts in the air, in the universe, at this moment although the blonde can't place what it is and just shoves her earbuds back in her ears, attempting to go find her douchebag friends.
—
“God, can't you keep your fucking voice down?” Travis mutters, hiding his face away from the teenage onlookers
“You're the one who started this argument, so fucking finish it!” Nat's voice, on the other hand, booms.
“You're infuriating! We need to go somewhere else that isn't outside the goddamn school doors!”
“Why, you don't want everyone to know how desperate you were to fuck me? You didn't seem to care about that three months ago.”
“Holy shit, shut up!”
Travis's hands go up in the air, narrowly missing Nat's face, and in seconds that goddess of a girl is back and storming her way over to them.
“Dude back the fuck off. You almost hit her!”
“Oh fuck, there's another one of you.”
Lottie grabs his wrist, in mid-air, and shoves him away from them even if just slightly. Travis takes the hint though, and storms into the school with a loud groan.
“Why'd you do that?”
And instead of shrugging and shying away like Nat predicts, the girl gently holds her elbow, as to steady her shaking frame, and responds
“Because I care.”
—
And just a few months later, when Nat is laughing at a shitty dad joke Van told, Lottie comes up behind her and rests her head on the blonde's shoulder, knowing full well everyone is looking at them.
“Come in the locker room with me,” Lottie whispers in her ear and gently pulls her wrist.
The door clicks behind them and Nat raises her eyebrows, questioning
“Why'd you bring me in here if everyone else just saw us anyway?”
“Because you're not my dirty little secret, Nat, but that doesn't mean we can't be private.” Lottie chuckles before continuing “I know we've been messing around quite a bit, but I was wondering if you wanted to go on an official date with me?”
“Oh…Jesus, Lot. Yes, of course.”
Lottie envelops the smaller girl in a hug, bringing her arms up to rub circles on her back.
“You know anybody could walk in right now?”
“I don't care. Let them.”
—
It's a rainy afternoon a few weeks later and the turf is slick with water, and yet goddamn Coach Martinez is still making them run drills.
Nat has the ball between her feet, weaving in and out, dodging cones and spray paint marks that are destined to be gone in a week, and she's inches away from the net when her client loses its slack on the grass, sending her flying backward.
Her head hits the ground with a thud, it'll be a miracle if she doesn't have a concussion, but as her blurry vision begins to clear all she notices is the strong arms wrapping around her and being pulled into a lap.
“Hey, hey, Nat, baby, it's okay. Just breathe.”
Lottie.
The rest of the team is crowded around them, Misty on her knees digging through a medical kit while Coach Ben is shouting to call an ambulance.
Overkill, much.
“D'know you just called me baby in front of them?”
“Shh, yeah, sweetheart, I know.”
“Oh, my fucking head…”
And then Lottie's lips are placing a tentative kiss on her temple.
—
“So, what exactly are we shopping for?”
“Oh, you know, stuff to cook.”
“Stuff?” Nat groans
“Yeah, babe, stuff.”
Lottie trails her fingers down the blonde's arm, twisting their fingers together when she reaches her hand, and planting a kiss to her cheek.
“I don't know that girls holding hands in the 1990s in New Jersey is a good plan,” Nat jokes, but doesn't pull away in the slightest
“If we become victims of a hate crime at least it'll be together.”
Nat can't hold back her laughter at that, shoving her face into the crook of Lottie's neck.
Lottie laughs alongside her, happiness bubbling inside the girl as she pulls the one she loves closer to her and grabs a cart.
“God, a whole ass cart? You haven't even told me what we're making.”
“It's a surprise,” Lottie murmurs, flashing her a toothy grin.
“Oh, fuckin wonderful.”
—
Nat walks in on Lottie, Laura Lee, Shauna, and Jackie making a disaster of the tall girl's kitchen, a multitude of spices and sauces lying everywhere and what appears to be a million dishes piling up.
“Wow, guys.”
Lottie gasps happily, spinning around with a smile, exclaiming
“I've been excited to see you all day.”
“So much so that you made a hell-hazard of the place? When you said we needed things to cook, I thought I would be here to supervise."
“Shush, as if you wouldn't have helped us make this place a shithole.”
“I'm the one with cooking expe-”
Lottie places her hands on either side of Nat's curves, slotting perfectly, and letting the blonde wrap her legs around her waist, successfully shutting her up.
She carries her to the sofa and gently places her down whilst tracing over the freckles on the shorter girl's shoulder, placing a soft kiss on the corner of her lips.
“Get a room, you two.” Jackie snorts from behind them.
“I missed you,” Nat whispers in Lottie's ear, eliciting a glimmer in the other girl's eyes.
“Well, I'll make it up to you later.”
—
“I can't believe you snuck me away like that.” Nat mumbles
“You're irresistible, babe, I couldn't help it. No one else compares.”
“I hope they didn't hear us.”
Nat gestures wildly to their sleeping teammates wrapped in blankets scattered around the floor.
“I thought you'd be more worried about them waking up tomorrow and seeing us, in, well…almost nothing.”
“You say that like you aren't worried about it.”
“I'm not, you and I both know everyone here is fucking at least one person on the team.”
Nat lets out a breath of air, before slamming her hand over her mouth.
“Don't make me laugh, Lot.”
“I'll do you one better.”
Lottie pulls the smaller girl to her chest, tucking her head under her chin, and intertwining their legs.
For a while, Lottie listens to Nat's quiet huffs of air, the beating of her heart surrounding them.
“I'm so tired.” the blonde whines.
“Mm, go to sleep.”
Lottie begins to pull her tighter against her body when Nat jerks back, smiling at her.
“What?”
Instead of a response, Nat crashes her lips against Lottie's and they move in a rhythm, blocking out each other's soft moans with their own.
“You taste good.” Lottie finally says, pulling away.
“What do I taste like?”
“Me.”
—
They're sitting on the rooftop of Lottie's Lexus sedan, passing a cigarette back and forth, crowds of people passing by them on the boardwalk.
“You know I hate sleeping?” Lottie breathed out after a while.
“Why's that?”
“I don't get to see you.”
Nat chuckles but Lottie continues.
“But, I also love sleeping, because it passes the time quicker until I get to see you again.”
Now Nat coughs out cigarette smoke at the bluntness Lottie spoke those words
“I'm not sure what to say to that.” Nat mumbles and she decides to just push the hair out of Lottie's eyes and kiss her on the nose.
“You know everyone heard you admit that right?” But Lottie just stares, figuring Nat wasn't done speaking, “and I love it.”
The lights from the Ferris wheel illuminate their faces, shimmering blues, reds, and silvers all around them.
“Lot?”
“Hmm?”
“I've just been wondering why um, why do you love me so…boldly?”
“Because I like showing you off. But also,” Lottie reaches over and intertwines their fingers, “I want to be what you need.”
“You know what I think?”
“What's that?”
“That you're my savior.”