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Kakashi is not-pining, mooning about in a tree watching the Academy, when Iruka breaks for lunch and everybody comes out to enjoy the sunshine. Iruka even brings his bento to right under Kakashi's tree! Valuable intel about what Iruka likes!
(It's a conbini bento. But a rather nice one, a makunochi, which Kakashi can appreciate even if he's not much of a fan of the fried bits. Iruka dribbles soy sauce from the packet over the savory bits and makes sure to get the bed of shredded cabbage underneath. Kakashi's never bothered to try it that way but there's no reason it wouldn't be good.)
Bento aside, the sunlight catches threads of blond and red in Iruka's hair as he moves about, a sleek shine where it's pulled firmly back-- something odd about the back of Iruka's head catches Kakashi's attention when Iruka leans forward to chase a little tomato around his bento. (Of course, the nape of Iruka's neck, which is tan and smooth and looks biteable, also catches Kakashi's attention, but that something odd is right next to the spot...)
(... Iruka's hair has an extra coil hiding under the knot of his hitai-ate, before it spills out into his ponytail. Iruka's hair is longer than it seems. Kakashi's already estimated it would drape over Iruka's broad shoulders, but might the locks go down to his--?)
"Everybody knows you're pining, you know."
Kakashi nearly falls out of the tree at Iruka's comment.
Who said he was pining? He wasn't pining! You're pining! ... There's a very high chance that Kakashi's inner monologue has been influenced by too much exposure to squabbling twelve-year-olds. ".... Lies," he manages to say with complete nonchalance like he wasn't internally flailing. "I am inscrutable. Also, I'm not pining. If I was pining I'd be hoping to ask you out, and I'm not."
Iruka stares flatly up at him, upside-down and backwards. Don't do that Iruka, your entire throat is undefended and Kakashi isn't down there to shield it. Lick it. ... Shield it. "Why not?"
"Enemies." Obviously. So he wasn't pining, because that meant he had any hope of someday asking the sensei out, and that was never going to happen so by definition he wasn't pining. So no one could know he was. Because he wasn't. Logic!
Iruka's stare has somehow gone even more flat, but this time comes with the tug of amusement at the corner of his mouth. "Kakashi. I've been the chuunin Academy instructor for six clan heirs, the second-in-line heirs to both the Inuzuka and Hyuuga clans, an Uzumaki, and Sandaime's grandson. Three of those children are the last Uchiha and the only two unsealed, untrained Hyuuga."
.... yeeees....?
"Do you know how many assassination and kidnapping attempts I already have to put up with?"
.... Logic. "Um," Kakashi says, very intelligently.
"Trust me, your enemies would barely register on the pile."
Kakashi's emotions surge in the strangest mix of relief and offense. He has very powerful enemies! Bingo Book bounties that, if added up, equal a notable part of Konoha's economic output! ... And Iruka's about as safe from the whole mess as someone could be while being associated with Kakashi...?
"I get off work at four today," Iruka informs him, that little smile still tugging at his mouth. "When you're inevitably late, I'll be grading homework at Talicha-ya. And no kisses until after midnight or Genma will win the betting pool." Before Kakashi can even begin to think of a response (betting pool?!), Iruka's smile turns sharp and wicked. "And Kakashi? If you're good, I do put out on the first date."
