Archive of Our Own

“Okay,” Dwayne slows to a halt in the middle of the squad room, tucking his phone back into his pocket, “Special Agent Tennant has agreed for one of us to go out to the Honolulu office and continue working the case with them there.”

He looks to Hannah, thinking she’s the most likely candidate, but before she can say anything, a voice speaks up from behind him.

“I'll go.”

The moment he turns to face Tammy, he recognises the determination in her expression and knows it would be a fight to try and get her to back out now but he still frowns in trepidation, glancing around and noting how the rest of the team look about as concerned as he feels.

They all know what Hawai’i means to Tammy. And how it had all been ripped forcefully to the surface by Claire McDermott.

"Gregorio.”

She startles at her name, blinking at him in the shitty light of her desk lamp as he comes to a stop in front of her.

“It’s three in the morning, what’re you doing here?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” she explains with a shrug, then narrows her eyes, “how did you know? Wait, don’t tell me, Sebastian. I’m gonna kill them.”

Holding back a chuckle at her vicious eyeroll, he moves to her side.

“They're just worried,” he reminds her softly, placing a concerned hand on her shoulder, “and I have to say, they're not alone.”

The exhaustion is clear on Tammy’s face as she sighs and quietly admits, “Just, got a lot on my mind that I don’t want to think about, you know?”

Stepping towards her desk, he asks carefully, “You sure about this, New York?”

“Yes,” she replies stubbornly, her gaze flicking over his shoulder as she takes a deep breath, “I've been trying to work through a few things recently. Maybe if I could have a few extra days?”

Glancing behind him, he catches sight of the encouraging smile Hannah is directing at her and realises that this must be something they already have an understanding on.

Of all the things that he’d expected from bringing Hannah onto the team – and trying desperately to hang onto her after her unjust demotion – he can’t say that these two getting together would be high on the list at all.

But for the extra complication it causes in paperwork, he can’t begrudge them it. Especially when they’ve done more to help each other in the last few years than anyone else could have.

“Is Naomi at Ryan's this week?”

Hannah nods, eyes curious but obviously catching on to where he's going with this.

“Right, both of you then,” he decides, trusting Tammy when she says she needs to do this despite his desire to protect her and believing in Hannah’s ability to support, “your plane leaves in two hours.”

They burst immediately into movement, gathering their belongings and heading for the door.

“Hey,” he calls after them, giving them a serious look as they turn expectantly back, “look after each other.”

They both nod, exchanging a glance and Tammy throws him an extra smile in reassurance that she’s going to be okay.

He smiles back, hoping she’s not lying to herself.

“A'ight, go learn things!”

Fondly, he observes the way they reach automatically for each other, their hands joining as they disappear around the doorway.

Despite the eleven-hour flight, Hannah doesn’t feel like she’s suffering too much from the jetlag as they sign into the Pearl Harbour base.

She’d say that the sleeping for a solid ten hours had been all they needed to recover but she’s not sure her girlfriend would agree, considering the way she’d watched her drag herself from the hotel bed and chug two cups of coffee before she could do more than grunt only two hours ago.

A part of her is worried that it was less of a jet lag reaction and more of a coping mechanism, especially when she’d drained the coffee then immediately flopped back into Hannah’s arms for an extra cuddle.

Not a sleepy cuddle though, it’s normally a fight for Hannah to keep her girlfriend awake in the morning if they end up back in each other’s arms but Tammy had been fidgety, wide-awake with anxiety.

“Tam?” Hannah whispers, partly amused and partly concerned at the way her girlfriend has thrown herself back at the bed, half draped across her with her face buried in her stomach.

“Hmm?” she grunts in reply, rearranging herself grumpily for the third time.

“I know this is stressful…”

“Nah, baby-“ Tammy waves vaguely- “just haven’t done a flight that long in a while.”

Hannah lets out a soft sigh of resignment as her hand finds a natural rhythm running through her sleep-mussed curls.

Glancing at Tammy, she receives a slightly tense smile in return and has to resist the urge to reach out and interlock their fingers as they step out of the elevator, hoping that she’s not fully in denial about how hard this is on her.

Through the glass doors, she spies a familiar figure and automatically speeds up, knowing Tammy will stay at her side.

“Jane!” she calls and the woman turns to face them, a smile lighting up her face.

“Hannah! It’s been a long time!-” she pulls her in for a quick hug- “how’s Naomi?”

“Yes it has,” Hannah laughs, delighted to finally be seeing her old friend again, “she’s good! Full of plans for college, even though it’s a few years away yet. How about your two?”

“Well, Julie is beginning the quest for a dog. And Alex is off at Annapolis now.”

The expression on Jane’s face is a mixture of pride and trepidation and Hannah lets her eyes go wide, “Wow, time flies.”

Naomi had been two when they met. How she’s suddenly sixteen, Hannah will never understand.

Jane seems to be thinking along the same lines because she grimaces, “That it does.”

“I take it you two know each other,” Tammy prompts gently from her side, her voice breaking her knowingly out of the ‘mom worry spiral’ that had been about to occur.

Shooting her a grateful smile, she confirms, “Our paths have crossed a few times-“ later she might tell her girlfriend that they’d met on a covert op, one of her first, and Jane had given her a few tips that had saved her life on more than one occasion but now isn’t the time- “and even if we hadn’t, Jane was one of the most supportive voices after the whole Van Cleef business.”

Jane raises a resolute eyebrow, “Well, we’ve gotta support each other, right?”

Nodding in solidarity, she decides that Tammy has had enough time to get a feel for the space and the people gathering nearby and moves to introduce her, “Special Agent in Charge Jane Tennant, meet Special Agent Tammy Gregorio, one of New Orleans’ finest.”

Tammy narrows her eyes playfully at Hannah at the introduction but steps forward and warmly shakes Jane’s hand anyway, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Jane smiles easily, then gestures to each person gathered at her side in turn, “this is my team, Special Agents Jesse Boone, Kai Holman and Lucy Tara. Hannah Khoury and Tammy Gregorio from the New Orleans field office.”

They’ve just finished greeting everyone when the distinct clacking of heals echoes through the room and Hannah turns to see another woman striding towards them, looking just slightly frazzled beneath a professional mask.

“Sorry I’m late.”

“You’re alright, Whistler,” Jane reassures kindly, “our friends only just arrived. Hannah Khoury, Tammy Gregorio, Kate Whistler, our FBI liaison.”

“A pleasure to meet you,” she shakes their hands in turn, then does a double take, eyeing Tammy critically, “wait, Gregorio? You hold… pretty much all the records for shooting at the FBI.”

Tammy frowns, “Still? I haven’t been at FBI in nearly seven years.”

“Yes!” Whistler’s shock boarders on awe as she explains, “no one’s come close to beating most of them, especially the long-distance ones.”

Hannah stares at her, not having heard about any of this, and Tammy’s gaze flicks to her and back before she simply raises her eyebrows, “Huh.”

Knowing that for however confident Tammy comes across, she finds it hard to appreciate her own achievements at times – or accept compliments – she resolves to ask about it later, when they have the time to peel back a few layers of those insecurities Hannah has come to recognise she has beneath it all, of feeling like nothing she does is ever truly good enough.

Now though, she pulls her professionalism back and turns expectantly to Jane, who puts away the impressed curiosity on her face and brings everyone back to task.

“Alright then, let’s get to sweeping up this drug ring!”

Tammy leans against the balcony, watching the movement of the waves lit by the moonlight and listening to the music floating up from the hotel bar as a light breeze wafts against her bare legs.

The day had been warm and even her thinnest cargos had been too much so she’s decided only an oversized t-shirt is the way to go, having the added bonus of making her ready to collapse into bed at any moment.

Except despite the very present jetlag pulling her down, and the idyllic scenery all around, she’s too keyed up to sleep.

She’s mostly wondering how she got here. Or rather, why she’d even thought this was a good idea.

Before she can spiral though, her phone starts to vibrate and sing Sweet Home Alabama, making her chuckle as she blindly answers the call.

“LaSalle, hey, I was expecting Pride or Sebastian to call.”

“It’s nice to talk to you too, Gregorio.”

She rolls her eyes at his drawling sarcasm, “You know that’s not what I meant. Just that I thought they’d be fighting for this call.”

“Hey, darlin’, who do you reckon’s gonna call me tonight? Pride, or Sebastian?”

Hannah flicks her eyes towards her incredulously, “It’ll be Sebastian! The second he gets a chance.”

“Nah,” Tammy flaps a hand, “Pride’ll hold him off. Bet you tickets to Cabaret next year.”

Pulling to a stop behind some traffic, Hannah lifts an amused eyebrow, “You’re on.”

She’s not quite sure who wins the bet now. Maybe she’ll tell Chris they’d decided that whoever called had to buy the tickets.

“I’m sure they would be, if they were here. But we got a last-minute case so they headed to the scene while I wrap up here with P.”

There’s a muffled noise on the other end of the line, then Patton’s cheery voice echoes, ”Ey, Gregorio! How’s the sun?”

“Hey, baby!” she greets, amused, “you ask that like we don’t get sun in New Orleans.”

“The sun hits different on them islands, baby. Right, Pride got me on tracking, keep us updated, yeah?”

There’s a sincerity to his voice that has her smiling.

“Course, P,” she promises, then checks the time with a frown, it’s past midnight in Louisianna, “are you swamped without us?”

“Nah, nothing we can’t handle,” Chris answers cheerfully.

She scoffs, “Which is exactly what you’d say if you were overwhelmed.”

“Anyway,” he deadpans, “just wanted to check in, you doing alright?”

Huffing impatiently, she rolls her eyes, “If I say yes, will you believe me?”

“That very much depends on how you say it.”

He’s not going to let her get out of this one. And he’s going to report whatever she says back to the others.

She sighs, “We’re just working on the case at the moment.”

They have been all day, she hasn’t really had time to think about much else, let alone really contemplate where she is and why it’s making her skin itch with anxiety.

“It’ll be after you finish that the reality hits you.”

“Hmm,” she answers noncommittally.

Okay, so she might be avoiding thinking about it just a little. But she doesn’t really want to have a panic attack right now, not when she’d really rather just go to sleep.

“Ah, Pride’s callin’, I gotta go. Look after yourself, yeah?”

She smiles at the open concern in his voice, “You too. Bye.”

After she hangs up, she chews her lip for a minute then pulls up her messages and clicks on Isler’s contact.

"So, this is where you’ve been staying then?”

Isler looks around the jetty, “Yes.”

Tammy raises an eyebrow, “By yourself?”

“Not always,” he shrugs, “plenty of visitors, I couldn’t have done this alone.”

There’s a smile on his face but it’s not quite happy. More self-deprecating, or at least self-aware.

“Not a word to me though?” she tries not to sound a tiny bit hurt.

He considers her solemnly for a moment. Unperturbed, she stares back.

“I didn’t really know where we stood,” he replies eventually, “besides, I said I’d make it up to you.”

This time, he’s the one who steps forwards and pulls her into a quick hug, one arm staying looped around her shoulders as they face the water.

“If there’s anything you need, not just for work, you let me know.”

I’m in hawaii with h, could you check in on the team?_7:23
Sounds like they might have a lot going on_7:23

Come and visit when you get back._7:24
I’ll drop by tomorrow._7:24

I will, we’ll only be gone a few days. and thank you_7:24

The message shows as read but there’s no reply and she shakes her head fondly, Isler always has been disturbingly efficient and yet formal with his messages, even now their relationship has shifted almost entirely away from work.

They socialise now. Talk about things, have meaningful conversations. It’s quite strange to think about.

A good strange, though.

There haven’t been many mentions of Hawai’i but what there has have been enough for him to understand the gravity of this for her and his quiet reassurance of being there to talk it out after means more to her than almost anything.

She slips her phone into her pocket as the final notes of the soft ukulele music from below drift to a close and are replaced by an appreciative round of applause, resuming her position staring out at the peaceful waves.

After a while of watching the surf and simply letting her mind drift, there’s the slight vibration of padded footsteps and she feels Hannah step up behind her, their bare legs pressing together as arms fold around her and she drops a feather-light kiss to her neck, grazing her nose along her jaw.

Tammy relaxes into the embrace, feeling a little of the tension she hadn’t realised she’d been carrying in her shoulders all day drain away.

“It’s beautiful,” Hannah breathes as a wave crests and she can’t help but smile.

“Yes, it is.”

She’s not sure there’s any place quite like it. And she doesn’t think she fully appreciated that the last time she was here either.

Although, she supposes, she had different priorities then.

As if reading her mind (as she has a certain knack for doing), Hannah wonders quietly, “What’s it like, being back after so long?”

Tammy considers it for a moment, trying for the first time since she arrived to pinpoint what she’s actually feeling beyond simply on edge.

“Strange,” she settles on eventually, turning in the embrace so she’s leaning back on the glass barrier, her hands falling to Hannah’s hips as arms loop around her neck and their faces hover inches apart, “I keep expecting to be greeted by memories but it’s all so different. I’m so different.”

“You’ve been through a lot,” she replies, as if it explains everything.

And maybe it does.

So much has happened since then, a whole lifetime. She’s not sixteen and looking for an escape anymore, she’s grown and looking to face her own reality.

Dropping her head to rest it against Hannah’s shoulder, she sighs wearily, admitting, “I’m having to resist the urge to get the case reopened.”

She grips at loose material of the shirt beneath her hands, twisting her fingers into the fabric until she feels the tension of it across her knuckles.

An answering touch begins at the top of her back, slow circles drawn to seep warmth into her skin.

“I’ve been down that rabbit hole so many times, followed every shred of evidence there is, driven myself harder and harder to find something, anything-” her breath catches in her throat and the growing hardness in her voice drops off suddenly to a broken whisper- “I can’t do it again.”

She’d collected everything she could find at the time. Every article, every police file, every witness statement.

Ethan had been the one to stop her frantic searching for answers.

“You have to stop this T,” he kneels at her side, “you’ve looked over everything a hundred times, there’s nothing more to find, even though I wish there was.”

She glances at him and the earnest expression on his face, then back to the carefully curated scrapbook laid open on the desk in front of her.

A picture of Andi smiles back. Until it’s covered by Ethan ever so slowly reaching out and closing the cover, the heart on the front taunting her with all the happy memories the scrapbook was originally intended to be filled with.

“I just… I don’t know what else to do.”

She rubs a weary hand over her face, feeling the weight of the sleepless nights so heavily.

Ethan takes the hand from her, interlocking their fingers and tilting her chin gently down to face him.

“Think about your future,” he encourages softly, “that’s what Andrea would want, right?”

“I… I don’t know where to start.”

She’s just so tired.

“I was looking at the psychology courses at SUNY for you, that way we can be together.”

The relief of the answer being handed to her is instant. She can’t face the thought of having to decide on anything just now.

Before she can answer, his arms wrap around her, lifting her up and she lets him carry her to her bed.

It feels safe. She’d been beginning to dread the idea of him going back to college after summer ends but it looks like this is her answer.

She’d give anything to not feel lost anymore.

Smiling shakily, she agrees, “Together.”

And when she’d left him, the want to know had risen in her again. Nearly consuming her as she’d revisited everything, every little scrap of evidence.

Isler had – although possibly not as unknowingly as she’d thought at the time – saved her by taking her under his wing, giving her a new purpose.

She can’t be saved again. As much as she knows Hannah is here to help her, support her… she’s learnt that she needs to save herself. To stop herself. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility.

The finger stroking at her skin has never once paused in her silence and she lets out a shuddering sigh, lifting her head to look into Hannah’s kind eyes, finding all the reassurance in them that she always does.

“I think… I have to try and let it go.”

The smile on Hannah’s face is small but filled with nothing less than pure love as she reaches up and brushes a few stray curls out of Tammy’s face.

“That’s why we’re here, eshgham,” she promises, closing the distance between them by pressing their foreheads together gently, “for you to face up to it. Not to fight it.”

Tammy’s eyes flutter closed and she finds herself mentally repeating those words as she takes deliberate, steady breaths.

Don’t fight it, face it.

As the first notes of a new song float up to them, she decides, “I think I want to go to Maui, when the case is over.”

The pressure on her forehead leaves and her eyes fly open to find Hannah lingering just far enough away to stare into her eyes, smile holding a hint of pride.

“Of course. I’ll be right here.” Her hand drops to squeeze Tammy’s and she smiles back, knowing that there’s no place she feels safer than in Hannah’s arms.

“You always are.”

She closes the distance to press their lips together, deepening it with a sigh as Hannah trails a hand up and down her back, chasing away the last of the tension it uncovers there.

The music finds Hannah, as it often does, and she begins swaying to the beat, gently coaxing Tammy along by the hips so their embrace becomes part kiss and part dance, covering the distance of their little balcony until Tammy accidentally backs into the curtain, fluttering in the slight breeze, and their little moment becomes filled with giggles.

Slightly hysterical with sleep deprivation, perhaps, but very much content.

This time Hannah pulls her back in, murmuring against her lips, “Everyone knows we’re a couple, are you okay with that?”

It’s not that she’s a stranger to working in new offices, she’d moved around a lot when she was with the FBI, but there was always going to be something different about this place.

Hannah had known that without her having to say and while it’d led to them not being as subtle as they usually are, making the effort to keep their relationship carefully out of the workplace, Tammy can’t say she hasn’t needed the reassurance their closeness has offered today.

It’s not like they can take it back now anyway.

And this team especially aren’t likely to mind as long as they keep it professional.

Instead, she mumbles, “They wouldn’t if you hadn’t worn those shorts just to distract me,” taking the opportunity to skim her fingers over the soft skin at the hem of the aforementioned shorts, just above her mid-thigh.

Hannah pulls back just far enough to let a fond chuckle escape as she rolls her eyes, “So it’s not because you call me ‘baby’ all the time?”

“Hey, I call everyone baby!” she protests, becoming disgruntled with her position and instead hopping up to wrap her legs around Hannah’s hips.

Her girlfriend adapts easily to her weight, well used to her frustration at always having to tilt her head up to kiss her and instead taking the opportunity to place her hands squarely on her ass.

From her new position, Tammy can lean down, her hair forming a curtain around them, and wait until their lips are a breath away before she whispers, “It’s when I call you ‘darlin’ that you know you’ve got me.”

Hannah forces herself to keep it together, resisting the urge to pull out her hair or kick something or just scream.

How have they been here for less than forty-eight hours and Tammy has been kidnapped?

It was supposed to be routine surveillance, then waiting for backup. Something they’ve done so many times. And she knows that Tammy knows what to do in these situations, that she’d gone with them because she was outnumbered and it was the best way of staying alive.

And that she’s counting on them to get her back again.

It’s not the first time, she doubts it’ll be the last but this feels different.

“Hey, Tammy’s going to be okay,” Jane tries to reassure her, “this was a last attempt at getting away from the drug ring and Ernie is tracking them as we speak. We have the upper hand here, they have no plan.”

Forcing herself to take a breath, Hannah leans against the wall, aiming for casual but all too aware of the tension radiating up her spine.

Jane appears silently at her side, face set with years of experience but eyes still somehow kind.

“Hannah, if there’s one thing you have to know in our line of work, it’s that desperate people do desperate things. That means the people we’re tracking, never assume you have the upper hand. But it also means you. Know that whatever you do, you can’t come back from it.”

Spinning around at the furthest point of the trail she’s spent the last ten minutes tracking on the floor, Hannah throws a hand in the air then hugs it across her body.

“Which means they’re desperate and so dangerous,” she counters bluntly.

Pride had told them to look after each other. The message had been clear, ‘I want both of you back in one piece.’

But what if that doesn’t happen, what if something else gets taken from Tammy here instead of her finding that lost bit of herself?

This isn’t how this was supposed to go.

They’ve been through too much for this to be where it goes.

She resumes her pacing, digging her nails into her palms.

“Look,” Jane walks around her desk and positions herself right in Hannah’s path to force her to stop, “Gregorio’s a good agent. I’ve seen that in one day of working with her. She can take care of herself.”

“Ordinarily, yes-“ all but falling into Jane’s couch, she rests her elbows on her knees and rubs a weary hand across her face- “but she’s not herself at the moment, that’s why I’m here.”

“Dwyane told me-“ Hannah’s gaze snaps up to meet hers and she gives a half shrug- “not details but an overview.”

Trying desperately to work out what the line is between the amount of information needed and divulging private information that Tammy would not want shared with someone she barely knows, Hannah sighs.

“Something happened on Maui when she was a teenager but that’s not the part I’m worried about,” she explains shortly, waving a vague hand, “a few years back, before I was on the team, she was abducted and tortured by someone who thought that it was the best way to get her to face the trauma.”

Jane sits quietly at her side, piecing together what she’s trying to say, “You’re worried about how she’s going to react to being abducted again, when all the memories are so close to the surface?”

Nodding, she pinches the bridge of her nose, already feeling like she’s failed.

“We’re going to get her back, Hannah,” Jane promises, rubbing her back soothingly.

Before she can reply, there’s a short knock on the door then, “Boss? We’ve got a location.”

Hannah shoots out of her chair at the words, not even caring that the glass walls of the office had allowed everyone to see her very near breakdown as she pulls on her mask of cool and collected and turns expectantly to Jane, resisting the urge to simply run out of the room.

Jane, thankfully, doesn’t miss a beat, just shoots her a look of reassurance and nods to the door, “Let’s go.”

Hannah feels every long second of the drive pass at an excruciating speed, having to use every technique she knows to pool all the patience in her possession instead of irritating Jane with constant movement and panic.

Generally, she’s a patient person (infinitely more patient than Tammy, that’s for sure) but when it’s someone’s life on the line – especially one of her family members – she becomes alight with an anxious energy that eats away at her until she can do something practical to help.

When they finally do arrive at the hideout, she falls back into her rhythm, clearing rooms with practiced ease and trying to ignore the tiny spike of worry every time they breach another door that doesn’t reveal Tammy.

They have enough agents and guns to easily take down all the suspects and Hannah herself personally takes out the guard to the final door of the complex, Jane right on her six with her gun raised as she pushes it carefully open.

On the other side is Tammy, breathing heavily and stood over three bodies.

Slowly, Hannah steps towards her and takes the battered chair dangling from her grip as Jane checks each sluggishly bleeding body and quietly pronounces the room clear.

It’s only then that Tammy looks towards her, her expression alarmingly vacant as she swallows.

Hannah reaches for her but she flinches back, eyes wide, and she holds up a hand in surrender instead, wordlessly promising that she won’t touch if she doesn’t want her to.

Internally, she’s scanning through her memories, trying to think of a single time when Tammy has refused her touch.

She comes up blank.

All the way back to the base, Tammy is quiet, sat forward in her seat and looking very much like she’s trying to force herself to stay calm. She doesn’t have her seatbelt on and Hannah can’t find it in herself to force her, knowing that Jane is aware of it and driving extra carefully.

As soon as they get back, Hannah goes to grab her a bottle of water but even though she’s gone only moments, Tammy is nowhere to be found by the time she returns.

Instantly concerned, she asks the room, “Did anyone see where Gregorio went?”

All she receives are ‘sorry’s and shaken heads.

“Dammit,” she curses quietly, only having to think for a second before she turns to Lucy, who’s hovering next to her with thinly veiled concern, “do you have roof access?”

Lucy blinks at her for a moment then nods, pointing through the doors, “Yeah, that stairwell.”

“Thanks,” Hannah calls over her shoulder, bolting up several flights of stairs until she reaches a door at the top, propped open.

Pausing to catch her breath, she hears a faint sniffling sound and rounds a wall to find Tammy curled up in a corner, her knees up to her chest and her hair tumbling over her face.

Her heart breaking at the sight, Hannah slides down onto the floor next to her and, as slowly and gently as she can, pulls her into her arms.

“Eshgham,” she breathes as Tammy’s arms shoot out to wrap around her neck and she sobs into her shoulder.

It sounds like she’s trying to speak, the words coming out in garbled gasps, and Hannah shushes her, tracing reassuring circles on any part of her she can find, “It’s okay, Tammy, you’re okay.”

“They were going to tie me to the chair and there was plastic and, and I don’t know what happened,” she sobs and Hannah can feel her entire body trembling in her arms, “I shouldn’t have come. I’m a liability like this.”

“Tam, that’s why I’m here,” she reminds softly, “Pride wouldn’t have sent you unless he believed in you, no one was to know you’d end up in that position.”

And yes, she might be blaming herself for letting Tammy go out without her.

“Okay so this is the building they’re hold up in,” Jane motions to the screen.

Lucy offers, “I can go do recon, surveil numbers.”

“I’ll go too.”

Hannah turns to look at Tammy, her immediate instinct to try and refuse on her behalf or insist she not go without her.

Instead, she forces herself to silently ask if she’s sure and resigns herself to worrying when she receives a minute but resolute nod back.

Jane glances between them then agrees, “Send word the minute there’s movement. Please and thank you!”

As she steps past to grab her bag, Tammy squeezes her hand reassuringly and Hannah forces herself to relax. It’s just a routine surveillance mission.

Tammy chokes on a sob and Hannah pats her back until it passes and she can whisper, “Normally it wouldn’t have phased me.”

“Nothing about this situation is normal, though,” she reasons, smoothing Tammy’s hair, “you’re in an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar people, confronting emotions and memories that you’ve been pushing away for a long time.”

She takes careful, extended breaths until her cries lessen to the occasional sniffle and even then, there’s a long moment of silence before she confesses plaintively into her neck, “I thought I was doing okay.”

Subconsciously, her grip tightens. “Eshgham, you’re doing amazing.”

Letting out a strangled laugh, Tammy finally tilts her face up, letting Hannah see the redness around her eyes, the tears still making tracks down her face and the bruise slowly darkening on her temple, “If this is your amazing, I don’t want to know what your shitty is.”

“Tam…” cupping her face, she brushes aside a few stray curls, “I’m not saying the situation is amazing. Just that the way you’re handling this, the way you’re here and you’re working through everything that you’ve been putting off for such a long time. You’re strong, so strong.”

Her gaze drops. “I don’t feel strong.”

“No, but that’s why I’m here-“ she brushes her thumb tenderly along her cheekbone- “to remind you.”

Smiling faintly, Tammy pulls herself close again, wrapping her arms around her and mumbling into her hair, “Thanks, darlin’. I love you.”

Hannah begins her lightly traced circles once more as she whispers, “I love you too, Tammy.”

“Here,” Kate passes Lucy a cookie, recognising her need for a little pick-me-up after the stress of Gregorio being taken while they were together.

Lucy takes it with a warm smile, pulling herself up to sit on the counter as she muches, gently swinging her legs.

Positioning herself at her side, Kate tilts her head, “Are you okay?”

Although Lucy bites her lip, it doesn’t stop her smile at the concern Kate doesn’t try to hide shining through.

“Yeah. It all went pretty smoothly considering.”

Her gaze drops and Kate grimaces, “It’s always a reality check when one of our own gets taken.”

“Hmm,” Lucy nods, then sets down her remaining cookie with a frown, “don’t you think there’s something else going on though? I mean with Gregorio, she doesn’t seem like the kind to be shaken this easily. Or Khoury, for that matter. I haven’t seen anyone panic that much since… well, since you got handcuffed to a post in Caracas.”

Kate lets out a soft laugh at her admission, knowing that trip had been anxiety fuel for both of them but also knowing that it had brought them closer, in a way.

“They love each other,” she replies simply.

She doesn’t need to say more, it’s obvious in the way the pair act around each other that they care deeply and even though she agrees with Lucy, there’s something else going on, she’s just going to do what their own team have done for them time and time again.

Be there for them.

Lucy bites her lip again, easily picking up that she wasn’t only talking about the two New Orleans agents as Kate takes her hand, irritatingly aware of the fact they’re at work, and skims her thumb lovingly over her knuckles.

“You teach me things and you don’t even know it.”

“I do?” Lucy chuckles but she can hear the uncertainty in her voice, “like what?”

“Like…”

How to build a life beyond her job, how to accept she has a family here, how to smile and actually feel it.

“How to be a more open person.”

There’re a few moments of contented silence between them until Lucy’s attention gets caught, “Hey, look.”

Kate turns to see Hannah and Tammy walking back into the squad room, looking almost normal apart from the way their shoulders are brushing and the set look on Tammy’s face as she pulls her hair up into a ponytail, showing off a bruise above her eye.

Exchanging a worried glance with her girlfriend, she offers a hand and Lucy hops off the counter.

“Thank you, milady,” she winks, leading the way back into the squad room.

“We’ve got one of the guards in interrogation,” Kate greets the pair, “he seems to be Smith’s lead muscle.”

She steps to the side as Tennant joins them from her office, “Ernie’s tracing contacts from his phone but in the meantime, I want to see if this muscle has any more details.”

“What leverage do we have?” Tammy asks, seeming to be back to the serious and focused agent she’d been the day before.

“He appears to be money motivated so prison time should be enough.”

Khoury crosses her arms, “Who’s going in?”

“Well, we do have an expert interrogator here,” Tennant twinkles and Hannah manages a half smile.

“It would be my pleasure.”

“Please and thank you!” she motions both her and Lucy to watch the interrogation and Kate catches the edge of ‘keep an eye on Gregorio’ in her expression.

Tammy seems back to herself though, watching the interrogation intently with arms crossed but a proud lift to her lips as Hannah breaks the suspect down.

Kate knows this will be a fairly low-key interrogation compared to some others she’s done (she doesn’t know what either Hannah or Tennant were doing when they met but she can guess) but she has to admit, it is impressive to witness how Khoury uses her slightly more unassuming nature to her advantage, talking quickly and never once losing her edge.

It’s only once Tammy lets out a hiss of pain that her attention is removed from the screen.

“Are you alright?” Kate asks, alarmed as Tammy puts her fingers to her back and they come away with blood on them, “Lucy, get Commander Chase!”

She’s aware of Lucy speeding from the room as Tammy protests, “I’m fine! It’s just a small cut.”

“A small cut that’s bleeding,” she retorts, “sit down.”

Motioning to a nearby chair she steps forwards to guide her into it but stops with her hands out when Tammy flinches back, insisting, “It’s not life threatening, I’ll be okay.”

The rational part of her brain tells her that she’s right, that if it was life threatening it would be bleeding a lot more and they would have seen it before now, but the caring part of her has her crossing her arms sternly.

Before she can say anything though, the Commander appears in the doorway.

“Not life threatening, maybe, but possibly in need of stitches," she declares jovially.

Kate looks to Lucy, surprised they got here so fast, but she just shrugs and whispers, “She was already on her way, somehow.”

“Carla Chase, very nice to meet you,” she introduces herself brightly, motioning to her back, “would you mind?”

Tammy pulls up her shirt and Kate winces at the deep cut, still slowly oozing blood.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Lucy grimace and reaches out to quickly squeeze her hand before she slips from the room, understanding of her distain for the sight of blood.

“Ah, a little deep but soon remedied-” she pulls out her supplies, with a flourish- “I shall endeavour to keep my stitches as neat as the remarkable Doctor Loretta Wade.”

“You know Doc Wade?” Tammy’s eyebrows raise then she lets out a small laugh, leaning against the table so Chase can get to the gash, “actually, that doesn’t surprise me, you seem like you would get along.”

“Hmm, you could say our auras align. Although many would argue she’s more grounded than I. I suppose the evidence is in the way we met…”

Kate settles herself in for a slightly rambling story about this mystery doctor, keeping one eye on the interrogation and the other on Tammy’s face as Chase prepares to insert the stitches.

“It was not, as you would expect, anything to do with the mortuary arts. But at a retreat! Some ten years ago, in the wilds of Canada, nothing and no one for miles. Well, we both decided that the retreat wasn’t healing us quite as we’d hoped and hopped on the only ride going out of the place, a delivery truck. Or delivery sledge I should say.”

One day, Kate thinks that she might get her head around how a person like Carla Chase can exist.

She’s somewhat of a bafflement.

“We bundled ourselves up and rode for so long that I was quite concerned about the possibility of my nose becoming detached from my face! We ended up at the nearest town, nothing more than a few houses, a convenience store and a bar. And, let’s just say we cleaned the bar of some of their finest vintage-” she winks at Kate, the only one who seems to be listening- “much more healing than a retreat.”

In all honesty, she’s not sure who’s more of an enigma, Chase or Gregorio the ex-FBI agent who holds records like they’re nothing, speaks fluent and biting sarcasm but seems to care just as much, if not more, than anyone, stands unflinching while getting stitches, gestures constantly with her hands and seems so sure, so unapologetically herself.

And yet, there’s something about her.

This isn’t her firing on all cylinders, she’s sure.

Chase, who’d dropped into a quiet filled only with melodic hums as she’d come to the end of her story and seemed to realise that Tammy was more zoning out than truly listening, finishes with a flourish and announces, “There’s a new energy.”

Kate watches as she turns around just in time to see Hannah appear in the doorway and nods to herself, “Hmm, Protection.”

Blinking in confusion, Hannah opens her mouth as if to introduce herself but stops as she processes the sight before her.

“Nicely done, baby, looks like we got everything we need from him,” Tammy comments as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening and she isn’t holding her still bloody shirt away from the fresh stitches.

Kate watches as she flashes through all the emotions from confusion to concern to frustration to resignation until she rolls her eyes in fond exasperation and steps across the room, “Trust you to not notice you’ve been stabbed.”

Scrunching her face (it’s kind of adorable in a terrifying way and no she will not be saying that aloud to anyone), Tammy corrects, “Cut not stabbed.”

Hannah’s hand finds a home on her hip as she shakes her curls out of her face and bites back, “Oh, my apologies.”

They both soften then, Hannah reaching out to squeeze her arm reassuringly and Kate wonders if she could ever react so calmly to Lucy being injured.

Kate catches sight of the bandage on her arm and stops still, “What happened?!”

“It’s just a graze,” Lucy winces, “uh, from a bullet.”

Panic immediately grips her, “A bullet! Lucy! Is there ever going to be a day that you don’t come home injured?”

“Look, Kate, can we not do this now?” she rubs a weary hand over her face, “everything hurts right now and I just want to sleep.”

Swallowing, she forces herself to calm down and wrap her arms around her girlfriend as carefully as she can.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles into her temple, squeezing her eyes closed, “I get worried about you.”

“You keep than eye on Independence over there.”

She startles, having not noticed the Commander approaching her, but she still sees the pointed look she sends in Tammy’s direction and nods.

With a final smile, Chase disappears and Kate’s attention finds its way back to the couple on the other side of the room as she gets an intense feeling of déjà vu mixed with an insight as to what it might be like for the others to watch her and Lucy, right as her girlfriend appears with a new t-shirt for Tammy.

“Thanks,” she flashes a warm smile, flicking her gaze around the room to check it’s just them in there before changing her shirt quickly.

In an effort to give her a little privacy, she tugs Lucy gently towards her, suddenly feeling the need to hold her a little closer than they usually let themselves at work.

Lucy looks at her questioningly but still settles happily under her arm as they watch the couple across the room with what is probably very badly concealed curiosity.

“I’m going to call Pride, fill him in.” Hannah pulls her phone out her pocket as Tammy nods.

“Tell him I’m fine.”

Disbelief clear in her voice, Hannah teases, “I’ll tell him you said it but he’s not going to believe you.”

Tammy rolls her eyes, the movement looking strangely natural on her and Kate idly wonders if it would be a good study on human behaviour, comparing the correlation between eye rolls and coping mechanisms.

“And ask him to hold off Sebastian until later.”

“Again, I can try…” Hannah trails off, her voice filled with mirth that spills into a full laugh when Tammy shoves her lightly on the shoulder.

“At least LaSalle knows not to call,” she grumbles.

“He’s just covering his ass,” she smirks, “leaving it to the Gregorio Whisperer.”

Dramatically, she protests, “I’m mysterious, baby, you can’t read me.”

Hannah just scoffs as she holds her phone up to her ear, “Keep telling yourself that, nānāzam.”

With so many of them working together to make the arrests and finish the paperwork, it doesn’t take too long to wrap up the case.

They follow the evidence all the way up and Kate privately wonders how a group who are so sloppy managed to run drugs all the way from Hawai’i to New Orleans.

By early evening, they’re gathered in Tennant’s office and she’s congratulating them on a case completed.

Kate’s just grinning at the fist bump Lucy and Ernie exchange when Gregorio speaks up, “Hey, Tennant, I don’t suppose there’s a transporter or something we could hop to Maui?”

Jane reacts as if that request is perfectly normal, easily replying, “There’s nothing tonight but there is first thing in the morning, I can get you two seats.”

“Thank you.”

Both the fact that she already knew without checking and the look they exchange causes a spike of curiosity and concern in Kate.

And Lucy seems to be feeling just as wary about the situation as she punches Tammy lightly on the arm and exclaims brightly, “Which means you have tonight to do whatever you want. Come on, team outing!”

“Ah, not for me, I have prior commitments with Julie,” Tennant excuses herself regretfully.

Jesse holds up his hands, “It’s date night!”

Lucy turns expectantly to Ernie, who shrugs, “Unless you want to come and track mold spores with C.C and I, you’re on your own.”

That has Lucy grimacing and Kate holding back a laugh as all eyes fall to Kai.

“Sorry,” he ducks, “Dad’s short-staffed, I’m helping out tonight.”

Dramatically, Lucy sighs, “Looks like it’s just us then. Double date time! Goodnight, y’all!”

And with that she loops her arm through Kate’s and all but drags her from the room, pausing by her desk to gather her belongings and question the pair who are trailing amusedly behind them, “What would you like to do? Hiking, surfing, touristy things?”

Tammy snorts, “You’re never gonna find me up a mountain.”

“Are you… from New York?” Alan asks slowly, actually squeaking when Gregorio turns the most potent glare Kate has ever witnessed on him.

“What gave it away, the accent?”

Jesse snorts and she just catches sight of the way Khoury bites back a smile before asking, “Gregorio, profile on Smith?”

With a last lingering glare to Alan, who’s practically shaking, she shrugs, “He’s in this for ego, bragging rights, not money. He sees it as his empire and doesn’t want to fly under the radar, he wants everyone to know it’s him but not be able to catch him. Only problem is, he doesn’t have the skill to back it up. His operation is sloppy, concealed by hush money, not threats or example.”

Kate tries her best not to gape, thinking there must be some information on the suspect she hasn’t seen yet, “How… how do you know that?”

“Look at his parents,” she motions to the screen casually, “trust fund kid, his daddy always threw money at every problem so he does the same. Active on socials, the muscle he’s surrounded by aren’t thugs, they’re old school friends who have nothing better to do than bulk up.”

Whatever wariness Kate had held at Gregorio’s biting sarcasm had turned pretty quickly into an appreciation of the sharp wit and intelligence beneath the bluntness.

And clearly, Hannah doesn’t mind it either, because she simply rolls her eyes fondly, “What Tam means is, she’d like to go to the beach,” she smiles hopefully, “and maybe you could show us some of the local places?”

“Hannah likes the little markets and local restaurants, don’t you darlin’?” she bumps their hips together and Hannah takes a step to catch herself then moves even closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as she grins.

Their closeness is infectious and Kate finds herself reaching for Lucy, interlocking their fingers as she suggests, “Oh well, we can go to Wally’s for food. That’s Kai’s dad’s restaurant and it’s about as local as you can get.”

“And we can definitely do a beach,” Lucy laughs and Kate knows she’s thinking that they’re never going to have a shortage of beach here.

She watches as the couple exchange a look, detecting the slight reassurance in the way Hannah smiles and squeezes Tammy fractionally closer before they both relax.

“Sounds perfect."

Thankfully for Lucy and her lingering healthy distrust of the water, Tammy is quite happy to lie on the beach with her in the evening sun while Kate teaches Hannah to surf.

Although for how well Hannah is doing, Lucy suspects (with her non-existent knowledge of surfing) that this isn’t actually her first time, especially when she successfully rides a wave so soon after they get in.

Tammy whoops victoriously and Hannah throws a bashful wave across the cresting waves to them.

“She’s a natural,” Lucy congratulates and Tammy grins proudly.

“A woman of many talents is Hannah Khoury.”

Before she can reply, Single Ladies starts playing from somewhere and Tammy sits up to dig her phone out of Hannah’s bag, muttering something under her breath about bathing suits and pockets.

“Sorry, I gotta get this,” she apologises, crossing her legs and answering the call, “hey, baby.”

Lucy is curious by the affection in her voice that immediately becomes terrifying hissing.

“Sebastian are you using my food processor?! I’m sure Pride has made enough food to feed a small army, go and scavenge at his place!” she runs an agitated hand through her hair- “yes, I know, sweetie, I know. But I’m fine, Hannah’s here. Nah, going tomorrow. Yes, I will keep you updated. Yes-” she gestures impatiently- “yes!” then her arm drops and she rolls her eyes, “love you too, nugget. Bye.”

As she hangs up and chucks the phone back in the bag, Lucy tries to look like she hadn’t been listening by running her hands through the white sand next to her beach towel.

Clearly, she fails, as Tammy explains anyway, “My roommate, they’re a little ball of anxiety,” she tilts her head and raises a single eyebrow, “actually, a long string of anxiety that manages to tie itself in knots.”

Amused by the analogy, she observes, “You don’t live with Hannah then?”

“Kinda,” settling back on her towel, she pillows her head on her arms, “I split my time. We didn’t want to put pressure on us, working together all day then living together full time too.”

“What happens if her boss changes his mind after he finds out about us and then, and then we… we no longer work together and then we start to grow apart and-”

And they ruin everything they’ve taken so many risks to build.

“If that even happens, you’ll roll with it,” Jesse reassures.

“Well, it’s not just me. She’s worried about it too.”

It’s hard not to work herself into a panic when Kate in a panic too. This is really putting a whole new meaning to doing everything together.

“Of course she is. I mean, Whistler may have gone full Adele in front of our entire team but she wasn’t always that person, just saying.”

“I didn’t want you to feel pressured ‘cause you didn’t even tell me about it in the first place!”

There’s nothing she wants more than for Kate to be here when she gets home, to make food for her when she’s working late, for them to wake up in each other’s arms every morning.

“I didn’t tell you ‘cause I didn’t want you to feel pressured!”

Their voices are rising higher and higher, the frustration at them continuing to miss each other bubbling to the surface.

“Okay, great, so… why are we fighting?”

“We’re not!”

And just like that the tension breaks and Kate smiles. A smile that’s clearly amused at what fucking idiots they’ve been.

“Okay, so… you moving in?”

She makes straight for her, “You can’t stop me.”

Lucy decides wryly that she’s delighted they’re better at communicating now, if nothing else, but she also wonders if things would be different if they worked together full time as well. Their job is high stress and it’s made easier by relying on each other but maybe that little bit of space is needed too.

As much as she’s sometimes wondered what it would be like if Kate was officially and permanently part of the NCIS team.

Biting back a smile as she watches her girlfriend in the distance riding a wave like a pro, she realises that they don’t need to be on the same team, not when Kate is part of the family.

“It’s different with Sebastian, we annoy the hell outa each other all the time anyway,” Tammy continues, oblivious to her own personal revelation, “plus, he’s my best friend, I don’t want to abandon him,” she rolls her eyes, “someone’s gotta make sure they sleep. Although if that ever gets back to them, I’ll know how.”

Lucy puts her hands up in surrender at the warning glare, pretty sure she’s joking but making a mental note to never talk to this Sebastian just in case.

Taking a sip of her drink, she watches the way Tammy’s gaze finds Hannah automatically, watching her in the same way that Lucy often finds herself drawn to Kate. With a sort of wonder, an almost disbelief that this person has let you into their life and allowed you to become so important to them.

And they seem to have an understanding, she’s noticed, a sort of shorthand or awareness of each other that’s very slowly coming to Lucy and Kate.

“How long have you been together?” she asks, curious.

Tammy tears her gaze away from Hannah long enough to reply, “It’s coming up on four years. How about you?”

“A year and a half.”

Predictably, she looks over at Kate as she says it, thinking about the last eighteen months of her life and how they’ve been made so much better by her involvement in it.

How she’d found a reason not to leave but had been given the courage to do it anyway, how she’s had someone to snuggle with after a long case, how every day is just a little bit easier and not nearly as lonely.

A chuckle brings her out of her thoughts, “You’re nauseating.”

“Us?!” Lucy raises incredulous eyebrows, “how about you!”

The care they have for each other is so clear in the way they act around each other, look at each other, hell, even how they talk about each other when they aren’t together.

“Okay so it looks like this is just a meeting place, not their base of operations,” Khoury comments even though she’s not looking at the screen, instead frowning at her cup of tea.

“But we have the numbers that’ve bounced off cell towers in that area…“

Lucy watches as Gregorio fishes in her bag and emerges with what appears to be some kind of speciality tea bag which she hands wordlessly to Khoury.

Hannah gets this soppy little smile on her face but still replies, “If we track those phones, we should be able to come up with a list of possibilities.”

It really feels to Lucy like they’re somehow having two different conversations at the same time.

She probably would find it nauseating if it didn’t make her cherish her own relationship that much more.

Tammy looks like she’s trying hard not to laugh as she concedes, “Fair enough.”

They lay in silence for a while as a large gaggle of teenagers pass them, then she rolls onto her side, “So, when was the last time you were in Hawai’i?”

For a moment, Tammy tenses, actually sitting up again in her panic, but she covers the movement by grabbing her water bottle and taking a sip, visibly forcing herself to relax.

When she eventually speaks, it’s casual but with a hint of curiosity in the narrowing of her eyes.

“Why do you think this isn’t my first time?”

Lucy sits up too, mirroring her energy in what she senses is a vulnerable moment.

“Just an impression I get,” she shrugs, watching carefully for any reactions even though Tammy is keeping her face perfectly neutral, “something tells me that you and Hannah aren’t usually so obvious about being a couple when you’re on a case. Not that you were being inappropriate or anything, just that I know as well as anyone, there’s a lot of rules.”

She smiles ruefully, there might have been just one form for them to sign before they could work together, but she and Kate are always coming up against what’s considered appropriate for the workplace verses what they need to get them through the difficult days.

“There’re always exceptions though, moments a little extra attention is needed and Hannah’s been checking in with you a lot but you seem like a confident sort, so I figured there was something else going on. And Tennant doesn’t seem concerned so I would assume she has some sort of idea as to what it is.”

Tammy’s face is disconcertingly blank but she figures she’s already in this deep now, she may as well keep going, so she takes a breath.

“In all honesty, we didn’t need two extra agents for this case, so there must have been a reason other than the case to send you both. Therefore, you have unfinished business here which is unlikely if you’ve never been before.”

For a moment, Gregorio says nothing, she simply eyes her with a blank face and it takes all her resolve to not squirm under the scrutiny.

Then, slowly, she nods, “Hmm, impressive.”

She smiles, hoping she hasn’t crossed a line, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

Tammy’s gaze falls away from her then and her eyebrows knit as she leans back on her hands, “I was sixteen. My best friend died. Well, she was killed.”

Heart plummeting into her stomach, Lucy holds back a gasp, “That’s awful.”

“Yeah-” a sardonic smile lights up her face- “it’s kinda haunted me ever since, you know? But,” she shrugs, “figured it was time to face it.”

Lucy catches her glancing to Hannah as if reassured by her presence and she nods in her direction, “And it’s good to not do it alone.”

Snorting, she comments, “Pride sent her along, he’s a mother hen.”

Even through the derision, Lucy can hear the fondness.

“Your team’s your family, right?”

“Right.”

And just by the look in her eye, she can tell that Tammy feels much the same about her team as Lucy does about hers.

They both take family – their family, not the one forced upon them – very seriously.

“We’re the same here-“ she can’t fault Tammy for looking to Hannah, not when her gaze is carried automatically to Kate as she smiles softly- “one big Ohana.”

“Your parents aren’t accepting, I take it?”

Sharply, Lucy turns to her and she shrugs, gesturing to herself.

“Profiler. I pick up on things. Hannah says it creeps people out-” the smirk that appears on her face somehow relaxes her- “it’s useful for working out who the gays are though.”

Amused, she wonders, “Oh yeah? How long did it take you?”

“To know you were gay?” if anything Tammy’s smirk grows and one of her eyebrows nearly disappears into her hairline- “the second you looked at Hannah.”

Lucy promptly chokes, feeling heat rising in her cheeks in the knowledge she’s been caught out at Tammy’s shit-eating grin.

She would be lying if she tried to argue that Hannah wasn’t a least a little bit her type. And that she hadn’t been slightly stunned by her sudden appearance in the squad room the day before.

But, she can also say with certainty that isn’t her perfect type because, well, Hannah isn’t Kate.

“It’s understandable, baby,” Tammy pushes playfully at her arm, “and I knew you were with Kate the minute I saw you together. So, your parents, religious?”

Aiming for nonchalance because the only other way she knows how to talk about her family is with anger, she shrugs, “Nah, just rich assholes.”

Tammy lets out a startled laugh at that and it feels like some sort of victory.

“Fair enough. Not disownment though, right?-” she shifts her weight to free one hand so she can circle it vaguely in the air- “you’ve never really hidden it so everyone knows really but they’re ignoring it in the hopes that it’ll go away, because they don’t know how to deal with something if they can’t just throw money at it.”

“Come back home, sweetheart. Settle down, get married. We’ll pay, it could be beautiful!”

“I have a career out here, Dad,” she grits, wondering how many more times she’s going to have this conversation before she stops answering the phone, “and a relationship too, me and Kate have a place together.”

Kate, who’s going to be home soon. And who she doesn’t want to be exposed to the dismissal her dad always gives to her relationships and her job and her life.

“Be serious, my darling.”

She bites back her sharp retort when she hears keys in the lock, instead decided to simply hang up the phone and deal with the consequences in a few weeks when he invariably calls back and they do this all over again.

Lucy can only stare, feeling slightly ruffled that this woman has worked out more about her relationship with her family in two days than she’s ever actually told Kate in two years.

“Hannah’s right, that is creepy.”

“Sorry,” she chuckles, then shrugs, “I have an ex who used to do the same.”

Empathetically, Lucy grimaces, “I hope you’re not in contact with her anymore.”

She knows first hand how dismissive and yet manipulative it can feel and she wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

“He’s in prison, I filed for divorce right after he was arrested,” Tammy replies, deadpan, and she can only stare.

Somehow the prison part is the least surprising to her. Tammy’s a lesbian, she’s said so herself. So, unless this ex is trans which… is a possibility.

But she discounts it when her eyebrows twitch in amusement and she offers, “It took me a while to figure myself out.”

No, the part that Lucy finds surprising is the reminder that it takes some people so long to realise they’re queer. She’d known and been open about it from such a young age and even though she hadn’t found much acceptance from her parents, she had found it in other places quite easily.

Yes, there have been unpleasant moments but overall, her sexuality has been a positive experience and sometimes she forgets that not everyone feels the same way. And that the experiences of people only ten years older than her is so different.

Just occasionally, the reality of her own life and the lives of the people like her catch her off guard.

Like the happy little bubble around her is popped.

“But hey,” Tammy’s voice breaks her out of her melancholy, “fairs fair, you can guess my ‘coming out to mom’ story if you’d like?”

It almost feels like a test but, ever up for a challenge, Lucy considers her seriously, biting her lip.

“Well, your first guess was about religion so I’d say that’s your own experience. You’re Italian based on the name and… expressive hand gestures-“ Tammy snorts and she barely holds back a grin- “so I’d say Catholic. You… agonised over telling your mom for years and when you finally did, she wanted nothing to do with you?”

“Bingo!” Tammy congratulates, raising her water bottle in the air for Lucy to cheers hers against.

The whole interaction has an overall surreal feel to it.

She never talks about her family if she can help it but she gets the sense Tammy has a weird way of getting people to reveal things. Idly, she wonders if Hannah really is the specialised interrogator of the pair.

“Okay,” she crosses her legs, finally voicing a question that’s been lurking at the back of her mind, “I have to ask, why Single Ladies?”

There’s a moment where Tammy’s face is entirely covered by a frown of confusion, then it melts away into realisation and she grins, “Oh, karaoke! Him and one of our other teammates, Christopher, they did the dance and everything, I have a video, one second.”

While Lucy doesn’t find the video quite as funny as Tammy clearly does – she chalks it up to having to be there or at least know the people – she does appreciate the showmanship and the commitment to the routine so much that she’s laughing as well by the end.

“What are you two giggling about?” Kate asks, amused, the pair appearing suddenly at their side.

“Sebastian called, Lucy asked why the ringtone.”

Kate shoots her a confused look and she waves it off, not knowing quite where to start to explain the chaos of the video.

Hannah, however, understands immediately, one of her eyebrows curving upwards as her lips twitch, “Ah, that was quite the night.”

Lucy realises a split second before Tammy does that Hannah is stalking slowly towards her, still dripping water.

“Nah uh, don’t you dare,” Tammy warns, one arm raised in protection.

When that doesn’t stop her, she swipes a leg and Hannah topples forwards, landing right on top of her.

Tammy groans dramatically but Hannah just laughs, propping herself up on her arms to hover above her, “You didn’t think that through, did you, nānāzam?”

She recognises that word. And while her Persian isn’t as good as her Arabic, she knows enough about body language to understand what it means – it’s another way Hannah shows that she cares.

“Hmm I’m not mad about the results though,” she hears Tammy mumble, her voice only just audible as Hannah leans down to kiss her.

Looking away, Lucy realises that however close she’d thought the couple were before, it had only been the start.

This is them off duty. Not Special Agents Khoury and Gregorio, but Hannah and Tammy.

Her attention is drawn by Kate sitting down behind her, having mostly dried herself off, and she shuffles until she’s settled between her legs, leaning back against her chest.

One of Kate’s arms wraps around her stomach, the other thrown out behind her to keep them both up, and she presses a kiss to the side of her head.

Allowing the feeling of contentment to rise up, she smiles, thinking she can’t possibly have done enough to deserve the moments they get like this but very grateful that they do all the same.

Leaning back, she presses a kiss to Kate’s jaw, whispering, “Ya amar.”

Kate’s eyebrow twitches curiously, “Is that Arabic?”

“Yeah,” for a split second she meets Hannah’s knowing eyes from where her head is pillowed comfortably on Tammy’s shoulder, then she lets the world shrink to just her and Kate, explaining softly, “it means ‘moon.’”

“It’s beautiful.”

Kate’s eyes seem to shine and she smiles, reaching up a hand to pull her face closer and plant a kiss on her lips, “So are you.”

The flight to Maui can’t be more than half an hour but Tammy feels her dread growing the longer they’re in the air, the shaking of the transporter only serving to ramp up her anxiety.

She’d thought that moving back to New Orleans would be the hardest thing she’d ever do but it no longer compares. Back then she wouldn’t have been able to even comprehend a desire to return here.

And now she’s wondering where the courage – although it’s feeling more and more like stupidity – that had been with her when she agreed to do this has gone and how she can get it back.

The only thing stopping her from demanding they turn the plane around is Hannah staying at her side in silent solidarity the entire time, sitting close enough that their shoulders are touching and occasionally brushing their knees together as a reminder that she’s still there.

When they land, Tammy quick talks the Commander who gave them a lift into letting them borrow a jeep and clambers in behind the wheel.

She’s grateful that Hannah is just going along with it, respecting her need for silence and looking at the breathtaking scenery they’re driving through instead of asking questions because she thinks she might back out and never come back if she says aloud what she’s planning.

It’s already difficult to resist the urge to do just that.

Even though she’s been waiting years to do this and she wants to be here – she’d also rather be almost literally anywhere else in the world right now.

“Come on, Tammy! My parents are chill, we can basically do whatever we want!” Andi pleads.

The excitement in her eyes is infectious. She wants that freedom.

“You have to say yes. It’s Hawai’i, when are we ever going to get to do this again?!”

Ethan wraps his arm around her waist, gesturing out across the beach, “It’s just you and me against the world, T.”

The whole world feels against her, but at least she’s at his side.

“I love you too, Gregorio. You know why?”

“Because I cooked for you.”

“Definitely not, that’s… no.“

Something about the look on his face and the stress of the day on both of them makes her hold back her sharp retort.

“Because you bring order to my chaos.”

He brings order to her chaos.

“Come on, New York, I’ll drive you home.”

Reluctantly, Tammy accepts Pride's hand up, wincing at the aching across her ribs.

“Can we stop by the bar first, get some gumbo?”

“No bar,” he shakes his head, eyes twinkling with pride, “I’ll make you a pot all to yourself tonight.”

 “You know I love you?”

Tammy pauses her rant in the middle of a sentence, her arms dropping to her sides when she catches sight of Hannah, resting her chin in her hands.

“You might have mentioned it before,” she replies amused.

“Well, I’ll mention it again. Sometimes I think you need reminding.”

She always needs reminding. It’s something she forgets easily.

She doesn’t realise her knuckles are white from gripping the steering wheel until Hannah lays her hand carefully over one of them.

Shooting her a smile that she’s sure comes out as more of a grimace, they drive like that until Tammy finds the parking lot she’d been aiming for and manages to squeeze into a space in the far corner.

There are plenty of tourists around, gearing up for a day at the beach but instead of following them down to the sand, Tammy leads them carefully along a mostly ignored, almost completely overgrown path.

The path is made slightly difficult to travel by it not being wide enough for them to walk shoulder to shoulder and Hannah’s quiet refusal to let go of her hand, which she had grabbed again as soon as they were out of the car, but she can’t bring herself to be frustrated by the difficult terrain as every few seconds Hannah runs her thumb over the back of her knuckles.

After a few minutes of walking, the flora opens out into a rocky cove and Tammy falls to a stop.

It hasn’t changed. Rock doesn’t change nearly as quickly as people, she supposes.

She’s not sure if that makes it easier or harder.

The hand in her squeezes gently and she takes a shaky breath.

“This is where me and Andi spent most of our time when we were here,” she explains, her voice low as she remembers the freedom she’d felt at it being just them and the water, “away from everyone, in our own little bubble.”

By their intertwined hands, she leads them carefully to a rocky outcrop and sits down, Hannah at her side.

“It’s been twenty-five years-” can it really have been so long?- “I’ve remembered her for so much longer than I ever knew her,” not able to look anywhere by the horizon, she swallows, her voice scarcely above a whisper as she admits, “and a part of me still blames myself for it.”

She blames herself for the fact that nothing can ever bring Andrea back.

The panic of that time is still so real to her.

How they hadn’t been able to find Andi for two whole days, the questioning, all the times she could have come clean and told the truth but had stuck to the lie to keep them from getting in trouble then because it had felt too late to go back.

How the guilt of running away had begun to eat her alive.

“You were sixteen.”

It’s almost startling, the first time Hannah has spoken in at least an hour.

Still, Tammy’s missed it somehow.

Her voice is soothing, comforting, usually knocking some sense into her stubborn self. It has its work cut out for it today though.

She’s been blaming herself for this for over half her lifetime. Every time she manages to convince herself that maybe it wasn’t her fault, that she can’t carry the guilt forever… there’s a new moment of doubt.

A new reason to fight herself.

“Yeah, but I was a mature sixteen.”

She knows Hannah is thinking about Naomi, trying to imagine how her daughter would react to this situation. But their lives are in no way comparable, despite the trauma she's faced, Naomi has the support she never did as a child.

Aware of the way she’s disconnecting but not sure how to stop it, she runs a hand through her hair, “Kinda had to be with how I grew up. That holiday was the first time I felt like I got to actually be a teenager.”

Most of her life before is gone from her memories, great stretches of her childhood and teenage years that she can’t remember, which in itself doesn’t reassure her somehow.

Other parts she remembers in vivid detail. Some trivial, others pivotal.

“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”

“It’s my dad,” Tammy whispers into the phone, “he’s angry.”

“How old are you sweetheart?”

There’s a roar of anger and the sound of smashing glass from downstairs and she winces.

“Nine. Can you send someone? He’s smashed up the furniture.”

She doesn’t remember the last time she ever saw her father. She doesn’t even remember the last fight between him and her mother, there had been so many they blur together.

But she does remember the hiding. The knowing what was about to start and the doing everything in her power to avoid it by locking herself in her room and praying that neither of them would come upstairs.

And she remembers how the arguments had been nearly as constant and explosive between her and her mother, with the absence of her father to deal with.

How she’d sought any escape from it. Getting into fights that would only lead to more arguments.

Any chance to leave the house.

Andi had been an escape. A friend she desperately needed who saw past the teenager with an attitude problem to the damaged kid underneath. Someone who just let her be.

“It felt like I left here both older and younger,” she reveals quietly, running her fingers over the rough rocks that are forming their seat, “forced to be older but with no concept of how to cope with what had happened.”

She’d been on a downward spiral with no hope of ever recovering when she’d found herself landing in Ethan’s arms.

He’d saved her.

At least, he’d stopped her sinking deeper. She doesn’t think he ever helped her get back up though, just kind of kept carrying her around until she’d forgotten she was even capable of walking.

Now though, she’s reminded herself that she can walk, she’s discovered that she can run and, hell, she would dance down a street just to prove she could if given half a chance or reason to.

“Ultimately, I think it’s why I decided on law enforcement. I nearly fully committed to being a lawyer but I had an interest in psychology, that’s what I majored in at college-“ which somehow feels ironic now, seeing as how blind she’d been to her own life and mental state at the time- “and… it felt like it was more my skillset, you know.”

She focuses on her own hand, running her thumb repeatedly across the roughness on her finger from years of firearms use.

“I thought I might be good, might be able to make a difference for people. Even if only a small one.”

Most of her career has been a fight between refusing to give up and refusing to let herself feel like everything she’s ever done has amounted to nothing when she fails at something.

She has a confidence in her abilities because she has to. She can’t be an agent with doubt, that’s how mistakes are made.

And because she has everything to prove. But only to herself, she refuses to prove herself to anyone else.

“You are good. Miss 'FBI record holder’,” Hannah teases softly, knocking their knees together and Tammy actually looks at her for the first time since they sat down, the tiniest of laughs escaping from her lips as she sees the light dancing in her eyes that settles into a pride and quiet sincerity,  “I’m in awe of you every single day. When you make a difference.”

Her gaze falls away then.

In concept, she may refuse to believe she’s failing but when it’s laid out like that for her, it’s hard to believe, because nothing she does will ever bring Andrea back, so she says nothing.

Hannah seems to understand what she’s thinking because she sighs lightly, beginning to trace circles on the back of her hand.

“I think we all have a little bit of ‘I want to save the world’ in us. It’s our hope that the world can be saved, isn’t it? It’s the reason we do what we do,” Tammy looks to her, hoping she’s right, and she smiles softly, “I’ve told you about my Maman-joon?”

She quirks an eyebrow, “She’s the reason you like all the teas, right?”

Her girlfriend is hardly ever found without some sort of tea blend in hand, herbal or otherwise.

“Woah. That is a lot of tea.”

“Hey, no judging my tea collection, Gregorio-” Hannah narrows her eyes playfully- “or I’ll revoke your house privileges.”

She surrenders her hands, “No judgement. Which is your favourite?”

“This one,” she plucks a small purple box from the collection and runs her fingers over the gold-patterned lid fondly, “reminds me of my Maman-joon.”

“Your... grandmother?”

“Uh hmm, she loved all teas, would bring me new varieties to try every time she visited but she’d always bring a few bags of this.”

Tammy makes a mental note to order the biggest box of that lavender tea she can find when they get back, as a thank you she knows Hannah will protest she doesn’t need.

“Right,” she chuckles, “I think she saw, how my parents always pushed me. And it was alright, you know, I wouldn’t have achieved even half I have without their support and encouragement, but it was still a lot.”

They might not have the same experiences but the look on Hannah’s face seems to say everything she’s thought over the years.

She smiles sardonically, “The weight of the expectations is heavy.”

It’s not a mystery she hadn’t lived up to her mother’s expectations. She’d told her to her face, in one of their final conversations and, in her eyes, it had been the moment that fractured their relationship beyond repair.

She’s tried to move on from it, from the broken tatters that is their relationship, but it’s hard not to hold onto hope that it’s salvageable.

It’s hard to feel like she hasn’t let her down sometimes. It’s hard to feel like she hasn’t let herself down sometimes.

Just occasionally, when she’s so deep in her melancholy that she drifts off into daydreams, she wonders what it would have been like if she’d grown up with Pride as her dad. If she would be anything like she is today. What her life would be like without everything that’s shaped it.

But she knows what he would say to her. He would tell her that there’s no changing the past, only taking the lessons it gives you.

And she understands that. She’s not sure she would change the past if she could. Not because she necessarily believes that everything happens for a reason or even that there’s someone controlling it all. But because she can’t know what would happen, she can’t know what she’s impacted in her lifetime.

Maybe it’s narcissistic but she does hope she’s made a few people’s lives better, just by being in them. And by being herself.

Her messy, sarcastic, deeply traumatised self.

“Exactly-“ Hannah’s voice brings her back out of her thoughts and her eyes flick up to meet hers- “when I got into NCIS everyone was so excited for me. But just before I left for training, Maman-joon sat me down, with a cup of tea.“

An amused light shines briefly in her eyes and Tammy snorts softly before they both sober again.

“And said to me, ‘I know you want to save the world. But I want you to know that it’s okay if you only save one person. And it’s okay if that person is you’-“ their eyes meet on the final word and it takes everything in her to just keep breathing- “that was the final time I saw her, she didn’t come back to the states again.”

Sympathetically, Tammy squeezes her hand and she manages a half smile, clearing her throat as she shifts on the rock.

“But the words never left me. Even though their meaning has changed over the years. At first I thought she was saying that ultimately, the only person I was fully in control of was myself, only I could control what I did and I wouldn’t let myself be led. But as my family grew and changed around me, as I had Naomi, I came to realise that only by looking after myself, saving myself-”

She chokes slightly on the words, taking a breath as Tammy shuffles closer to her, hoping to offer comfort by proximity because she doesn’t have the words.

“Only by saving myself can I take care of those who mean the most to me. Because those people deserve the best version of myself,” silence lingers for a moment before she adds quietly, “I can’t say what it would mean to you, if anything, I just wondered if you might find comfort in the words like I did.”

Tammy considers what the words actually mean to her. They’d sent a shiver down her spine when she’d first heard them. She knows they’re impactful but she’s not sure how – they just feel like they mean something profound.

She hopes… she hopes that maybe they mean that she’s forgiven.

Not that she deserves it, she’s not sure she believes that anyone deserves anything from the universe.

But that she’s being given permission to move on. That she doesn’t have to carry the guilt around anymore. That she’s allowed to feel peace, finally.

“Come on.”

She stands suddenly, filled with a determination to do something that she should probably have done long ago.

Hannah blinks, quickly pulling herself up too.

“Do you want to go?” she asks, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

But Tammy shakes her head, leading them carefully off the rocks, “Not yet, there’s something else I need to do.”

With one last glance around the cove and out to the horizon beyond, she retraces their path through the leaves, Hannah once again a silent yet reassuring presence at her side.

Once they reach the car, she gives her hand a final squeeze then drops it, reaching into her rucksack and pulling out a painfully familiar pink scrapbook.

There’s a slight intake of breath to her side as Hannah recognises it too.

It’s her Hawai’i scrapbook. But over the years it’s been less a book of memories and more a book of reminders, reminders of all the dead ends and answers lost.

And there at the bottom of the box, is the scrapbook she’s been hiding from herself for all these years.

She lifts it out with trembling fingers, perching on one of the boxes littered around the room that she’s yet to unpack.

Swallowing roughly, she opens the book to a random page and catches sight of the headline.

‘Missing Teenager Found Murdered On Maui’

She doesn’t have to read the article to know that half the ‘facts’ in it are wrong. The words haven’t left her memory, they’ve just been repressed, and they rise to the surface again now.

‘No suspects found.’ ‘Another holiday with a tragic ending.’ ‘Will be catalogued as just another missing teenager.’

A sob rips out of her throat and tears splatter down onto the page.

In the corner of the parking lot, there’s a trashcan. She makes purposefully for it, aware of Hannah trailing just behind her, and stops in front of it.

She has her memories with Andi. She doesn’t need the reminders too.

Taking a deep breath, she skims her fingers over a few of the pages, wrinkled with age and tear damage, then she leans forwards and places the scrapbook carefully amongst the crushed cans and burger wrappers. It feels disrespectful in a way but this book isn’t her friend.

Andrea is gone, and nothing will ever bring her back.

The tears that have been oddly distant all day rise with purpose then, stinging her eyes and immediately overwhelming her.

Hannah is there in an instant, arms wrapping around her, holding her close as the tears begin to flow with a vengeance and her breaths become sobs.

She clings desperately to her, despairingly aware of the tourists all around them, fighting an internal battle between getting control of herself and just letting it all out as circles appear on her skin, trailing warm paths along her arm, across her neck, down her back. Hannah’s fingertips leave traces of comfort in their wake.

Taking a final shuddering breath, she pulls back and scrubs her palms across her face to remove the last of the tears.

This time, she’s the one to reach out for her girlfriend’s hand, interlocking their fingers and smiling gratefully.

Hannah leans forwards to place a kiss to her temple.

For a moment, her eyes flutter closed to savour it, then she takes another breath and swallows, determined once more.

She leads them along a different path, this one wide enough for them to walk side by side but much steeper, climbing up and up until they rise out of the leaves and find themselves with a view of the entire bay below.

It’s not overcrowded but there are enough people to make it feel lively. People sunbathing, swimming, playing with balls and frisbees, children messing around in the surf.

They all seem to be carefree. And she knows they’re not; not one single person is without worry or care or suffering. But she hopes that they’re finding some peace, or relaxation, or even hope, on this beach.

“This is the last memory I want to have of her,” she tells the coast, her voice determined, “not of us sneaking out or anything that followed. I know it happened, I accept it happened-“ she turns to Hannah- “but this is how I want to remember her. Happy.”

Nodding slowly, Hannah glances around then perches on a large flat rock.

“Tell me about her.”

The request catches Tammy off guard but at her expectant look, she casts her mind back, for the first time in a long time focusing on the memories she had with Andi.

“She was… one of those people who you thought they were quiet, but once you get to know them you realise they could talk for years. She was kind, you know, genuinely believed in people, wanted to help them.”

Andi had believed in Tammy. What she could achieve, that she could make a difference.

“She always used the same shitty body spray, insisting it was her 'signature scent.' I always told her it would make boys want to stay away not attract them.”

Shaking her head fondly, she remembers the countless conversations they’d had about it, every one pretty much identical.

“Why do you use that stuff?!” Tammy coughs through the mist.

 Andi chirrups back, “I like it, it’s my-“

“Signature scent,” she finishes with an eye roll.

“Exactly! Gotta have one, be distinctive, entice the boys in, you know!”

“No boy is gonna like candy floss and marshmallows,” she grumbles.

Not that she’d been too mad at the idea of boys being scared away, she'd wanted Andi for herself, even if she hadn't realised the full extent of why.

And the one time she hadn't tried to discourage her from talking to a guy...

She feels her heart rate speed up and takes a deep breath. She can't stay there anymore, she needs to save herself.

Sitting at Hannah’s side, she continues quietly, “I was captivated by her eyes, they seemed to speak a whole language of their own. There was a light that danced in them-“ she looks into her girlfriend’s eyes and sees how they’re glassy with tears- “you have it too.”

“I do?”

“Yeah. Anytime you’re talking about something you care about-” she tilts her head affectionately- “or you’re about to cry.”

Voice scarcely more than a whisper, she asks, “Is it there now?”

A single tear slips out the corner of her eye and Tammy catches it, smiling a soft little smile that doesn’t feel quite happy but isn’t sad either, “Does that answer your question, darlin’?”

“Sorry, I just… I hate seeing you like this. Facing ghosts is hard, I know, but I’m so proud of you,” she chokes on the words and Tammy feels the emotion rising again in her throat as she takes a breath, “you really loved her, didn’t you?”

“I did,” she answers simply, “although I didn’t understand it at the time. I can’t believe how long it took me to find myself.”

“It’s so strange for me to think about-“ Hannah shakes her hair out of her face- “you’ve always been so unapologetically yourself.”

Tammy smiles wryly, “Yeah, well, I learnt the hard way that I couldn’t live any other way.”

From her parents, from Ethan. And from people who have helped her too, Andrea, Pride, Sebastian. Hannah.

“I’m so glad you’re who you are-“ the light is back in her eyes, as warming as her smile- “that’s the woman I fell in love with.”

The tears spring up in Tammy’s eyes as she takes a shaky breath and pulls her in for a hug, burying her face in the warmth of her neck.

“Thank you for coming with me, Hannah. It means more than you know. You mean more than you know,” she swallows, “I’m not sure I coulda done this without your help.”

Hannah breathes softly in her ear, “Sure you could, Tam, you’re way stronger than you know. I’m glad if I made it easier, though.”

The circles are back, dancing their way along her hip and up her side.

She forces herself to breathe in time with them, the breaths coming gradually easier until she can do it without thinking.

The reality of her life feels like it’s all around her. The past and the present colliding.

But she needs to think about the future too, to protect her present.

Pulling back but leaving their arms intertwined, she decides, “I think we should go.”

One of Hannah’s hands lifts to card through her hair, “Do you want to see if we can get a flight back?”

She shakes her head, “I’d like to stick around for a bit longer, if that’s alright with you? I feel like maybe I need to make some new memories here, you know?”

“Of course, eshgham-“ the gentle smile is back, the one that Tammy always misses when it’s not in front of her- “what did you have in mind?”

“No idea,” she grimaces, “to be honest, I don’t really remember what’s here. Just this beach and the hotel we stayed in. But, we do know someone who might know.”

Hannah sends her a curious look but she just grins and pulls out her phone, tapping her fingers against her leg until the line comes to life and a newly familiar voice answers, “Hiya, Tammy, is everythin’ alright?”

“Hey, Tara, all good. We were just wondering if you had any suggestions for something fun we could do on Maui this afternoon?”

There’s a muffled conversation on the other end of the line and she recognises several of the voices. It sounds like the entire Hawai’i team is pitching in ideas.

Exchanging an amused look with Hannah, she lays her head on her shoulder, feeling lighter than she has in… possibly years and quite content to watch the sea in her girlfriend’s arms until the cheerful voice returns.

“That depends, how do y’all feel about waterfalls?”

Dwayne’s phone dings and he gives the gumbo a quick stir before pulling it out of his pocket and glancing at the screen.

New York: Photo Attachment_4:23

At first, all he feels is relief. It isn’t a panicked phone call from Tammy or Hannah.

It’s been difficult these last few days, holding in his worry about his favourite New Yorker enough to be able to support the rest of the team through their own uneasiness and anxieties.

Especially when the call had come in with the news of her capture. It had taken everything in him to stop himself boarding a plane right then and there.

Although, if he’s honest with himself, he’s been worried about Gregorio from pretty much the moment he met her. There’d always been something that screamed ‘I need a home’ that no one else had been able to see.

"Aren’t you tired of running?”

She’s running now. Running away from this conversation and the emotion that’s clearly overwhelming her.

The emotion that he’s been able to occasionally detect just under the surface this whole time.

“Yes, I am.”

Just in her voice, he can hear it, the bone-deep weariness of having carried this alone for far too long.

And she’s been there for him just as much as he has for her over the years, holding their little family together in a way that he’s not sure she even sees.

Curiously, he opens the attachment and watches as the photo loads onto his screen.

Tammy is in the foreground with Hannah just behind her, arms wrapped around her waist and chin resting on her shoulder. They’re sat in a kayak, their faces alight with matching smiles and bathed in bright sunlight, the water all around them a vivid blue.

It’s slightly off centre, a little over-exposed and the waterfall behind them is mostly a blur.

But it’s perfect. Because they look content. Tammy looks at peace.

“Sebastian!” he calls into the next room, knowing his youngest agent has been desperate for news all day, “come and look at this!”

The hope rising in him that maybe this trip has been everything she’d needed, turns into a pride that she’s achieved everything she promised herself she would.