Work Text:
“You know people say it’s hard to make a habit, but I had so many years of being afraid of relationships. Loving you seemed too important, like the bottom could fall out at any moment. The people that I love don’t always stick around. I’ve lost people before, but I wasn’t sure I’d survive losing you too.”
“What makes you trust it now?” She’d asked him.
“I said I wanted to date other people, but what I meant was that I needed to go back to how it used to be. The two week rule made things easier, I never felt afraid of those relationships. I ended it because I was scared to lose you, and realized that it hurts even worse when it’s self-inflicted. I want you to trust me – trust us in this. I’m all in this time.”
She smiled and took a breath, knowing that it was true. He was all in and the only thing she had to work on was trusting herself. She replayed her father’s words as she went to sleep, “The difference between your mother and you is that she was not in love, and you are.”
Shawn tightened his grip on her waist as she started to fall asleep and she felt his nose slide against the back of her neck as they took a breath in unison.
Angela smiled to herself as she opened her eyes and recalled their conversation from the night before. The last few days had been a whirlwind, with her father returning and her and Shawn getting back together. They had been practically inseparable which only seemed appropriate after the time apart. Last night had been another late night of staying up talking. He'd even shared one of the poems that he wrote while they were apart. She reached for the notebook page again that he'd given her and reread it.
In twilight's hush, I walk alone,
My heart a weight of silent stone.
I let her go, my greatest sin,
Yet still her light resides within.
Her laughter echoes in my mind,
A melody I left behind.
I broke her heart, and now I know,
Love never fades, it only grows.
My days are filled with shadows, grey,
Her memory won't drift away.
Though I let her down, I dream anew,
Of one more chance to start with "I love you."
His words had put her at ease, but they both knew it would take time to make sure they both felt confident in their relationship. She turned, surprised to find the bed empty and sat up. With it being Saturday, neither of them had classes and she had expected them to wake up together as they had the last couple of days. A few seconds later she heard a crashing sound that she knew was coming from the kitchen, and sat up quickly, throwing on her robe before walking out of the room.
“Shawn, I told you the left cabinet!” Topanga said as she looked down on him, trying to push the pots and pans that had fallen out, back inside. Neither of them had noticed that Angela had walked out of her room and she leaned against the railing to watch, confused at what she had walked into. Shawn was wearing Rachel’s apron over his pajamas and clearly stressed as he picked up one of the pots that had fallen out while Topanga stood over him.
“Well, you could have mentioned it was my left and not yours.” He said, finally finishing restacking everything that had fallen out.
“Why on earth would I tell you to use my left? That is the most ridic –“ Topanga shook her head, clearly about to launch into a rant.
“Ok, ok! My left.” He moved to the next cabinet and pulled out a small skillet, placing it on the stovetop and holding up his hands in defeat, “I can’t fight with you about this right now, she’s going to be up soon and you know I need your help.” He flipped over the bacon that was already cooking on a skillet and smiled to himself reassuringly.
“I’m only helping you because Angela is my best friend and she does deserve breakfast in bed.”
“You remember when you loved love? Remember that?” Shawn asked, pulling eggs out of the refrigerator, “Speaking of love, you know Cory would be here in minutes if we called him. I could make an exception to this romantic breakfast for Angela and I and we could all eat together.”
“Don’t, Shawn. This isn’t about Cory and I.” Topanga walked into the living room, clearly frustrated.
“Well, it probably should be. Also, I don’t seem to remember you and Cory staying out of things when Angela and I weren’t together, so it’s only fair I should get my turn.” He followed her in, smiling as the bacon popped on the stove.
“So do I just need to give you a restraining order?” She joked and they both laughed softly, knowing the situation wasn't funny, but both wanting to keep it as light as possible.
“Can’t blame me for wanting my two best friends to work it out. How often do I get to help you all learn from my mistakes?” Shawn asked and Topanga swallowed before looking down. After a few seconds she lifted her head.
“What is that smell?”
“The bacon is burning.” Angela said, walking down the steps and into the kitchen to pull the skillet off the burner as smoke started to billow into their small kitchen. Shawn and Topanga ran in and while Shawn took the skillet from Angela’s hand, Topanga waved a dish towel around to try to stop the smoke from setting their alarm off.
“Don’t touch that! I’m making you breakfast!” Shawn said, easing her away from the stove and putting the skillet back down.
“So, I should just let the apartment burn down?” She asked and Shawn considered before leaning in and kissing her.
“Yes, it will have been worth it.” He kissed her again and Angela lifted her hands to his cheeks, smiling into their kiss.
“Ugh, I did not sign up for this.” Topanga said, cracking eggs and putting them in a bowl and mixing them. Angela and Shawn pulled apart and relaxed against each other.
“Sorry.” Shawn said.
“Me too, and for the record, I support you 100% with whatever you decide about you and Cory.” Angela said, smiling at her.
“Thank you.” Topanga poured the eggs into the open skillet.
“That being said, you know that you love him and that you want to be with him, so whenever you’re ready to circle back, you let me know.” Angela made a face to brace herself and Topanga crossed her arms, holding her spatula.
“You’re just lucky that I don’t think you two letting the apartment burn would be at all romantic.” Topanga turned back and moved the eggs around as Shawn kissed Angela on the temple and then walked over to join her at the stove as he pulled the spatula from her hand.
“I’m sorry. Please don’t abandon me.” He pleaded and she smiled at him before backing away and lowering into the open stool next to Angela.
“I love you both and I know you just want the best for Cory and me. I know how this probably ends, you know, I know what we're all thinking. I just still need some time to get it worked out in my mind.” Topanga said confidently and made eye contact with Shawn, waiting for him to nod in silent agreement before looking to Angela who did the same and gave her a hug.
“We love you too.” Angela gave her a squeeze and Topanga leaned into it before sitting up again and taking a breath.
“So, after this gourmet breakfast, what are you all up to?” Topanga asked.
“Well, we hadn’t discussed it, but my vote was going to be spending the rest of the day in bed doing nothing but watching all the movies I couldn’t watch while I was pining.” Shawn moved the eggs around on the skillet and Topanga laughed.
“Can’t.” Angela said, her face wincing. Shawn turned the stove off and reached for bread before looking at her.
“Can’t?” he put four slices in and pressed the lever to lower and start the toast.
“It’s wash day. These braids have been driving me crazy and I need to take them out since I have an appointment in a few weeks and I like to give them some time.” Angela slid off her stool and pulled three mugs from the cabinet.
“Ok, so that’s like 30 minutes?” Shawn asked, taking the coffee pot out of her hand and pouring the coffee as he motioned her back to have a seat.
“30 minutes? Oh, you sweet summer child.” Topanga laughed as she took the cup of coffee that Shawn was extending to Angela.
“An hour?” He asked, looking between them. Topanga extended her thumb up and motioned up, “Two hours?” He said, louder now.
“It’s not just about taking them out, I need to detangle, then wash, and everything that comes after. It’s a whole thing.” Angela said as she took the second cup of coffee from him. He seemed to be processing as he poured a cup of coffee for himself and started to prep three plates of food.
“What if I helped?” Shawn placed the plates in front of Topanga and Angela and they both looked at him, confused.
“Helped?” Angela asked, amused at the suggestion.
“I mean, you said it takes a while to take the braids out, what if I helped.” He shrugged and Angela smiled and shook her head slowly, almost unsure if she’d heard him correctly.
“Let me just say that I once asked Shawn if he could sharpen my pencil for me and he complained about it for 10 minutes. I’d also like to add that he was already on the way to sharpen his own pencil.” Topanga slid off the stool and lifted her plate and coffee, clearly walking to her room.
“What value does little anecdote add?” Shawn asked.
“My point is," Topanga looked at Angela, "This man is so gone.” Topanga smiled at her and Shawn and then walked up the stairs and into her bedroom. Shawn picked up his own plate and sat down across from Angela watching as she took a bite of her eggs.
“Very good. I could get used to this.” Angela said.
“I want you to.” Shawn took a bite of his own breakfast, his tone shifting to a more serious one. This was something she’d had to get used to with him, those moments where he seemed to need to make sure that the person he was speaking to knew that he meant what he was saying. She nodded, to make sure that he had a visual confirmation that not only did she hear him, but she understood what he meant.
“I would love it, if you would help me with my hair.” She said, taking another bite of her eggs before she broke off a piece of bacon.
“Really?” Shawn asked.
“Don’t get too excited, this is not a fun thing, this is a necessary thing.” Angela said, giving him one more chance to get out of his offer. She watched him closely as he continued to eat, undeterred by her warning.
Angela lowered onto the floor, sitting in front of Shawn as he held a comb and scissors, “Ok, so, we’re going to cut the ends, and then unbraid, you’ll put the hair in here.” She held up the bag she’d put on the table. She looked up at him and saw him nod, holding a braid in his hand.
“So, I cut here?” Shawn held the scissors to the braid and Angela cried out.
“Lower! You’ll cut my hair.” She looked and him, pulling the braid out of his hand, shocked and he bit his lips to muffle a laugh.
“I can see where your hair is,” he pointed at the braid and she shook her head.
“You’re about to get fired before you even start. I don’t care what you can see, you have to go lower than that.”
“Fine, fine.” Shawn giggled and took the braid back, moving at least two inches below where he thought her hair stopped, “Here?”
“Yes, that’s better.” Angela relaxed as he cut into it. He almost seemed shocked as he held the braid in his hand and she motioned to the bag, reminding him of the earlier instruction. He put the braid in and then used the end of the comb to separate out the hair. Angela smiled to herself, still a bit shocked that he was helping and shook her head softly.
“What?” He asked, pulling his hands away, afraid that he’d hurt her.
“Nothing, sorry, I was just thinking.” She smiled as she pulled the scissors that he’d put on the table and cut and handful of the braids at the front of her head, “If you get bored or tired, let me know.”
“Hey, don’t let her pencil story convince you I’m not helpful.” Shawn said, smiling as he pulled hair from the braid and put it in the bag. She watched from the corner of her eye as he put the scissors to her hair, pausing to show her where he was cutting and they both laughed.
“I’ve just never had anyone help me with this before.” Angela paused, normally that’s where she would stop, but she liked that he knew more about her now, that they had a shared experience and continued, “I always thought that if my mom would have stuck around this is something that we would have done together.” Shawn nodded, understanding as he’d imagined all the times that he’d imagined the things he would have done with his own mother.
“Your father didn’t help you?”
“The drill sergeant?” Angela asked, chuckling, “My father is a lot of things, most of them good, but a patient man he is not. I think he tried to help me once and decided after a few that it would make more sense to just shave them off.” They both laughed as they imagined it and Angela smiled, “Thank you for asking.”
“Thank you for letting me.” Shawn leaned forward and Angela turned her head, smiling as they kissed and she knew her father was right. She was so in love with this man.