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Ghost steps out of the building, looking at the murky sky that swallows every bit of stubborn sun that is trying to pass through.
He sits on the small bench beside the shop and takes out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter.
It’s a quiet Sunday, not many customers and even outside he doesn’t see many people walking around. Not that he’s interested in people watching, he much prefers tilting his head to the sky and letting his thoughts wonder.
His peaceful moment is broken by a sudden noise. Loud footsteps and chain jingles. And it’s getting closer. Old habits die hard, so Ghost checks his perimeter and notices a young girl who is stomping his way.
She passes him quickly, fury and a mix of some other emotions on her face, and suddenly stops at the corner, thinking of something so loud Ghost can hear her angry chuffs.
The girl then turns around and walks back to his bench, stopping beside it. She’s got those intimidating and sudden teenage movements, like she’s putting effort and energy in every single tiny movement. Ghost looks her over but pays her no mind until she speaks first.
“This seat taken?” she nods at the empty space on the bench.
Ghost moves further to the side, inviting her to sit to his own surprise.
The girl plops down. Her hip chain makes a loud noise clashing with wood.
She takes her own cigarette and pats the pockets of her leather jacket. Searching for a lighter, Ghost assumes.
Before she gets even more fussy, Ghost gives her his.
“Thanks.” This time her voice is softer but there’s still an edge to it.
They sit in silence for about a minute. Ghost looking at the sky, the girl looking at her phone. Then she speaks again.
“That fucking idiot…”
Ghost doesn’t react, even though he is getting curious about what has got her so mad.
Couple more seconds of silence and then a sob. Oh no. Forget curiosity, Ghost is not built for this. He has no idea how to comfort a teenage girl. But he also has no idea how to just leave her here all alone and not seem like a total asshole.
So he just sits there, letting her have her moment. Angry crying and all.
Then she talks again.
“I’m… sorry. I’m not like this usually. It’s just… my best friend told me he loves me and…” she shakes her head like she doesn’t know how to continue.
Ghost looks at her and their eyes meet. Her goth makeup looks even more authentic like this. Before he can stop himself, he asks “And it’s a bad thing?”
“Yes! Its a bad thing!” She says, laughing maniacally. “I have cancer… glioblastoma. And most likely I have what? Like 2 years left if I'm lucky?”
Ghost doesn’t know how to react. It’s tragic, really and of course he feels sympathy. But he just doesn’t really know how to show it and he also thinks that any kind of pity will not be received well on her end.
“Do you like him?” He asks instead and the girl has a dumbfounded look on her face.
Ghost really wants to go inside the shop, but he already dug himself into this situation. No turning back now.
She looks at him like he’s crazy and laughs, but it’s sad and bubbly because of tears.
“Yeah..yeah, of course I do.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
The girl looks down on her shaky hands and Ghost notices that her black bob is a wig.
“Why would he do this… to himself?” She asks like she doesn’t expect an answer.
“To only be with me for a couple years knowing what's inevitable? He’s been with me at the hospital, he knows how ugly it can get…”
It’s all quiet again.
Ghost’s heart beats with familiar ache. He turns his head to the sky and sighs.
“My husband died a couple years ago.”
The girl doesn’t react straight away but he feels her eyes on the side of his face.
“Oh”
“We were both in the military, special forces. We knew it could happen any moment. I was just hoping it would be me.”
The girl averts her eyes, probably also not expecting a mutual trauma dump from a stranger.
“What was he like?”
“Loud” Ghost snorts but it’s humorless. “Hotheaded. Insufferably Scottish.”
The Girl chuckles with him.
“But also gentle…and even shy at times”
“How long were you guys together?” She asks, seemingly relaxing a little.
“Four years. Not enough time… but nothing would ever be enough.”
She’s quiet again, looking at her hands deep in thought.
“Was it worth it?” She looks at him like she’s expecting his next words to hit her in the face or break her heart.
“It was worth every second” Ghost feels his lips stretch to a weak smile.
He’s telling the truth.
The girl's eyes fill with tears again but she smiles at him. It’s a wobbly, sad thing, but sincere nonetheless.
“Im Mitzi by the way” she chuckles, wiping her big bright eyes from tears.
“Simon”
They sit there for a while longer. Until the sky clears a bit, finally letting those slippery sunbeams through.
Mitzi tells him about Jack. About how they were friends their whole lives and how she first thought she loved him when they were ten and she got lost on a foggy day crying under the tree and Jack came to her like a white knight he is.
Ghost tells her about Johnny and it’s surprisingly easy. Even with his therapist he can’t get rid of that knot in his throat every time they talk about him. But he can talk with Mitzi. And he feels like he’s reliving all those memories. It’s painful and his heart is breaking little by little every time he imagines his smile. But its almost healing in a way.
The girl is funny, asking him all sorts of questions and talking about her sickness without fear, like she almost respects it.
“All those tumorous things have such beautiful names. Like goddesses of death or something”.
And she reminds him of Johnny. She’s got the same determined look in her eyes. Like death maybe has an arm on her throat but she’s not afraid.
They say their goodbyes later in the evening. And later the same week, Mitzi comes to the shop holding hands with a boy, who Ghost recognises as Jack.
And for the first time in a while, he thinks he’ll be okay. Maybe some days he’ll feel worse, he’ll feel like there is no way for him to feel joy anymore. But there will be good days and he will remember his Johnny on those days. His smile, his brogue, his calloused hands. Because Johnny deserves to be remembered and Simon will cherish every god damn second he had with him.