Chapter Text
Paige let out an exhausted sigh as she made her way downstairs for dinner. Really, she wasn’t even in the mood to eat but she also didn’t want to listen to another lecture about how she needed to take care of herself, so she forced herself to go down. As she reached the first floor, she could hear loud voices coming from the kitchen. Paige hadn’t been expecting to hear anyone other than her mom, so she was caught a little off guard to hear the extra voices. Paige figured she couldn’t put this off for any longer, so she made her way towards the voices, mentally preparing herself for whatever her mom would want to talk about this time.
‘I wasn’t aware we were having company.’ Paige said to announce her presence as she saw her sister and her dad both standing by the counter in the kitchen.
‘Oh there you are Paige. I thought it might be nice to get together again as it’s been so long since you and Erica have seen each other.’ Paige’s mom said to her as she turned to face Paige.
Paige had to hold back an eye roll at her moms explanation. When her parents had split, her sister Erica had decided to go with their dad while Paige had stayed with their mom. Paige had flown through school at such a pace that it had made Erica quite jealous when they were younger. Erica would even pretend she didn’t know Paige at school and made rules for Paige to pretend she didn’t know Erica either to save her from the embarrassment of talking to each other. Erica had even decided to cut off contact with Paige when she left, which was the way Paige preferred it as she didn’t need another person telling her how abnormal she was.
‘How are you Paige? I see your style has changed a bit.’ Erica said, glancing up and down at the outfit that Paige was wearing. In the time since she’d seen Erica, Paige had switched to a much darker wardrobe in hopes of looking a little older when she was around other kids in school.
‘Well, 4 years does that to a person.’ Paige said in a deadpan tone with her arms crossed defensively. She knew she might have been a little harsh, but she couldn’t really find it in herself to care as Erica couldn’t have actually expected her to run right into her arms and give her a huge hug after so long.
‘Paige. Now is that any way to speak to your sister? She was very nice to come all this way just to see you.’ Paige’s mom scolded her. Paige wasn’t surprised that she would be the one in trouble as Erica had always been very good at pretending to be an angel child to their parents. In reality, Erica had lived to make Paige’s life a living hell when it was just the two of them around for Paige’s whole childhood.
‘Oh it’s no trouble mom. I blame myself too, I should’ve tried a little harder to stay in touch.’ Erica said, resulting in Paige rolling her eyes at her sister. There was no way Erica cared about Paige at all. Just seeing Erica falling into her old role of the perfect child made Paige feel a little sick.
‘Well, why don’t we all take seats at the table? I’m sure we all have a lot to catch up on.’ Paige’s dad said, seeming to pick up on the awkwardness much more than Paige’s mom had as he directed the girls’ attention away from each other and towards him instead.
Unfortunately for Paige, there were only 4 seats at the table, meaning there wasn’t going to be one that would get her super far away from Erica. Paige was glad to see that her parents still weren’t huge fans of each other though, meaning that Paige at least got to sit in between them rather than next to her sister.
‘So Paige, what’s new in your life? You should be in college now, right?’ Erica asked. The question may have seemed innocent enough, though Paige knew for a fact that Erica knew she had dropped out of college, meaning she was just pushing her buttons by asking the question.
‘I’m not going to college anymore. I decided I needed a break.’ Paige muttered in a tone that she hoped didn’t sound too mean as she didn’t want to hear another lecture from her mom.
‘Oh, that’s too bad. I just declared a major and I’ve decided I’m going into psychology.’ Erica announced in a tone that Paige knew to mean that she was showing off. Erica had always been very good at using other people’s misfortune to her benefit as long as it made Erica look good in the end.
‘Wow, that’s great Erica. I’m sure Paige will decide to do something great as well after she’s had her time off.’ Paige’s mom responded. Paige was used to this as her parents always said Paige would do something great just because she was smart. Whenever her mom said something of the sort, she became a little jealous of Erica as her sister could’ve chosen to be a janitor and they still would’ve been supportive. Paige felt that if she was anything less than whatever Sheldon did, it would be a disappointment. In all actuality, Paige felt anything that she did would still be a disappointment as her parents always thought she wasn’t using her full potential at any given time.
‘So, how long will Erica and dad be here for?’ Paige asked, not wanting to talk about what great things her future had in store for her.
‘They’ll be here for the weekend. It’s a long trip for them to come just for dinner.’ Paige’s mom responded.
Paige nodded at the response. She wasn’t the happiest that she’d have to deal with Erica all weekend, but she wasn’t surprised that she’d be here for at least a night as they lived in Arizona now. Paige would just have to suck it up and ignore her just as she always did and hope the weekend would fly by.
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After dinner, Paige was glad her parents didn’t try to force them all to have some family talk as she had been expecting them to. They seemed to sense that Paige needed a little space away from Erica and had allowed her to head up to her room for the remainder of the night. If only Paige could hide out in her room all weekend then she figured it would go over much better, though she didn’t believe her mom would ever allow that.
‘Wow. I see you’ve changed your look but not much of your room. If you ask me, you should’ve flipped that around.’ Paige heard Erica say from the doorway not too long after their parents had dismissed them.
‘There’s this thing called knocking you know. You should try it some time, it makes you seem like much less of an asshole if you actually did it.’ Paige said to Erica sarcastically, not in the mood to see any more of Erica than she had already seen.
‘I can’t believe that between the two of us I’m the first one to declare a major. I’d always thought it was obvious that you’d be a scientist of some kind. You figure out you just weren’t smart enough or something?’ Erica asked Paige, getting a nasty glint in her eye as she said it to Paige.
‘Look, Erica, would you just go away? I don’t want to discuss any of this.’ Paige asked, hoping for once her sister would actually be nice and listen to her.
‘Oh come on, it’s not like I’m saying anything that isn’t true. In fact, I bet you’re taking this whole year off as some stupid cry for attention. Just make it easier on everyone and announce you’re going to become a scientist already.’ Erica told Paige with a roll of her eyes directed towards Paige.
‘Would you just go away, I said that I don’t want to talk about it.’ Paige said to Erica, becoming much harsher than she had been a few seconds ago.
‘Why? You too scared to hear the truth? I have to say after seeing you do everything perfectly, it’s nice to see you dethroned for once. Maybe I’ll even decide to move in with mom permanently if I get to watch this play out. Might be worth it.’ Erica said, clearly knowing she was annoying Paige and still keeping their argument going anyways.
‘Like you would ever want to stay with mom. I know dad spoils you much more than she ever would.’ Paige said, knowing it to be the truth as their dad had always had more money than their mom did. While it had never bothered Paige, Erica had always been someone who wanted the absolute nicest and newest things.
‘Like I said, it might be worth it to watch your downfall. I never expected it to happen so early in your life, but I’m glad I’m around to watch.’ Erica said to Paige.
‘GO AWAY.’ Paige shouted at Erica, now absolutely pissed at her sister. She hadn’t wanted her to visit in the first place and now she felt her temper rising the longer Erica was around.
‘Paige! I expect much more from you. Apologize to your sister. Now.’ Paige’s mom said from down the hallway as she appeared with her arms crossed, clearly upset with how Paige had spoken to her sister.
‘Like hell am I going to apologize when it’s her fault in the first place.’ Paige responded before slamming her door, effectively shutting off her sister and her mom as she was finally left alone in silence.
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Paige lay awake looking at the ceiling for a long time that night. Truthfully, part of what Erica had said to her really bugged her. Her family had always expected her to go into science at some point when truthfully she really didn’t want to do that. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do in the future, but she felt that if she did anything other than science it would only be a huge disappointment to everyone. It was part of why she’d decided to take a year off, so she could figure that out, but as she got further and further into her year off it seemed that Erica was right, that she would just have to suck it up and choose science. The whole thing was just super frustrating to Paige as choosing science made her feel like she was living a book that was already written and she had no power to change it.
After a while, Paige could hear their grandfather clock chime that it was 2 in the morning from downstairs. It was now obvious that Paige wouldn’t be going to sleep. Lately, she’d been having many issues going to sleep as she found herself restless most nights. Rather than laying around in her room, she decided to get up and get dressed so that she could at least leave the house. The middle of the night had become her only time that she could leave without her mom bugging her, meaning it was becoming more and more common for her to sneak out at night.
When Paige made it outside she was a little surprised to see that it was raining. Normally she would take that as a sign and head back inside, but this time she decided she really needed the fresh air to help her clear her mind. Paige simply pulled up the hood from her sweatshirt before letting her feet carry her down the familiar road her house was on and to the outskirts of town.
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Paige always walked to the same spot each time she snuck out at night. Paige knew there was a small park on the outskirts of town that had a small river that ran through it. It always looked particularly pretty when the sun would set as the rays would always glisten in the water. Even in the middle of the night, it brought a sense of peace to Paige as it was nice to be somewhere soothing rather than stressful.
Paige was pretty soaked by the time she reached the area near the river that she always went to in the middle of the night. She was surprised when she saw that her spot was already taken by another girl. Paige didn’t recognize who it was immediately, but she was pretty sure the girl was crying by the way that she was shaking. Paige was just about to leave and find somewhere else when she got a very strong feeling that she knew this person. As Paige couldn’t shake the feeling, she found herself moving closer to the girl in hopes of figuring out who it was that Paige had just ran into.
‘Missy?’ Paige whispered, wincing a little when her voice cracked as she spoke out loud.
Immediately when Paige spoke, Missy’s head whipped around in shock as her eyes landed on Paige. Paige was a bit surprised to see Missy had been clearly crying based on the redness of her eyes. Each time Paige had met Missy, she always seemed so strong and confident, seeing her crying was such a change in character that it really surprised Paige to see.
‘Oh, hey Paige.’ Missy finally responded to Paige, her voice cracking as she said it betraying her clear attempt to hide the fact that she’d been crying.
‘What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?’ Paige asked as she took a seat next to Missy. She really hoped Missy didn’t mind the company, but Paige found she actually liked running into someone that treated her like a normal person for once rather than treating her like a glass doll. Paige also didn’t want to leave Missy on her own out here as it was clear Missy was struggling at the moment and Paige hoped she’d be able to help her.
‘I could be asking you the same thing.’ Missy replied, sniffling as she said it showing she’d probably been here for quite a while at this point.
‘Nothing serious, just family stuff.’ Paige told Missy with a shrug. She knew she was majorly downplaying it, but she didn’t want to seem like she was complaining about nothing when it seemed like Missy had a real problem going on.
‘Well, same here. Family stuff.’ Missy responded to Paige as she glanced back out at the river in front of them in a clear attempt to end the conversation.
Paige sat in silence next to Missy for a while once Missy had finished speaking. Paige couldn’t help but feel a little bit disappointed that Missy hadn’t said anything about what was bothering her. She figured it was only fair though after the lame answer Paige had given to Missy. The longer they sat there in silence, the more obvious it became to Paige that even if her problem was lame, Missy probably wouldn’t tell Paige anything if she didn’t start first.
‘My sister came to visit us.’ Paige said after a while, finally deciding that she would be of no help to Missy if she didn’t talk at some point about what had brought her here.
‘Yeah? Last I saw her was quite a few years ago.’ Missy commented, now turning her attention back to Paige, clearly showing interest in whatever Paige wanted to share.
‘Yeah, she went to live with my dad after the divorce while I stayed with our mom. She and I have never really gotten along and it’s just stressful having her around again, even for just a short while.’ Paige told Missy, beginning to wring her hands together as she spoke as she became a bit nervous to be talking about this with someone.
‘I can understand that. Sheldon and I have had our differences ever since he read his first math book.’ Missy replied to Paige.
‘Sheldon’s also quite unique.’ Paige said to Missy as she realized that of course Missy would have troubles relating to her brother as well. It made her feel a little better to realize that she wasn’t the only one who would have problems with their siblings in the way that Paige did.
‘That might be downplaying it, but sure we’ll go with that. As much as I love him, I never feel like we’re really on the same page on most things.’ Missy replied to Paige, relating to Paige’s problem much easier than she had thought Missy would when she’d mentioned it.
‘I dunno, it’s not just that. It’s like my whole entire family. They all have these great expectations for me that nobody has for Erica. Erica can do whatever she wants and she knows it, so she never hesitates to rub it in my face how much of a disappointment I am to everyone. Everyone just seems to put me on this pedestal and they don’t seem to realize how much it kills me trying to keep up to those expectations just for them. Even Erica seems to put me on one now, she never did when we were younger but somehow things have changed between then and now.’ Paige said, going into a little bit of a ramble as she began talking because of how frustrated she was.
‘If it kills you to live up to those expectations, maybe you could set some different ones. Ones that you give yourself instead of someone else.’ Missy replied to Paige.
‘As nice as that sounds, I don’t even know what expectations I would choose for myself. My whole life I’ve done my best to just live up to my parent’s expectations that I don’t know what to do besides those.’ Paige told Missy with a sigh.
‘Believe it or not I think I understand. Now with my dad gone, my family’s all but fallen apart and it’s somehow come to me to find some way to fix it.’ Missy told Paige with a long sigh, clearly frustrated with her situation as well.
‘I was sorry to hear about your dad. I don’t see how everything should fall to you though, that doesn’t make much sense.’ Paige said to Missy, turning to face her a little more.
‘Well Sheldon moved to California, I think to avoid all of this that’s going on here. Mom’s an absolute mess and spends every free second that she has praying to God. She’s even become so focused on God that she’s ignoring all her parental responsibilities. Georgie’s tried to help, but he has his own family so it’s somehow come to me to fix mom and figure out all the bills and everything. Nobody seems to realize that I have no idea how to do any of this and as much as I’d like to just not do any of it, if I don’t we’ll lose the house or electricity or whatever.’ Missy told Paige.
When Missy finished speaking, she seemed really close to crying so Paige acted on impulse and pulled her into a hug. Missy tensed up at first, but relaxed once she realized what it was that Paige was doing. Even though Paige had pulled her into a hug for Missy’s benefit, she was a little surprised to realize that she took comfort in the hug as well. Even though their problems were very different, it was nice to feel like someone could actually relate to Paige as even Sheldon hadn’t been able to.
‘Sorry Paige.’ Missy said, seeming to be embarrassed about her small breakdown once they’d pulled away from each other. Paige was pretty sure she knew how Missy felt though as she’d felt pretty alone in the world recently too.
‘Everyone needs a break sometimes.’ Paige replied, really not minding that Missy had seemed to just need comfort for a while.
‘I just wish I wasn’t so alone in all of this. Sheldon and Georgie just don’t have the time or ability to help in the way that I can though.’ Missy said to Paige, now just seeming tired as she said it.
‘I understand the feeling.’ Paige replied, also feeling pretty alone in the world recently as nobody seemed to understand anything she’d been feeling the past few months.
‘Hey, what if we help each other out here? I can help you get away from your family and figure out where you want to go next.’ Missy offered to Paige. As Paige thought it over, it made sense to her to do something of the sort. Missy had never seemed to care what anyone thought of her, which Paige figured she probably needed lessons on how to do as she seemed to care so much that it was holding her back.
‘Ok, and I can help you figure out the bills and things. I imagine I can help you find out what needs to be prioritized and what could wait a little bit. There’s got to be ways you could cut back and things as well.’ Paige replied, figuring her brain could come in handy for once if she was going to help Missy.
‘Deal.’ Missy replied, shaking Paige’s hand to solidify the deal. After they’d agreed to help each other, Missy didn’t seem to know what else to say and turned her attention back to the river in front of them. Paige followed Missy’s example, feeling much more content than she had in a long time as she looked at the water flowing past them below.