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Jasmine looked at the clock. She said she’d be here at 7 sharp she thought.
She was never late, something that Jasmine had noticed ran in her friends family.
“Are you sure you three will be just fine alone?” Mrs Tran was rushingly preparing her own bag.
“Mom, weve discussed this, im not 10 anymore.” It was still crazy to Jasmine - one impulsive decision made at lunch in 5th grade made her the bestest friend she could ever wish for. She was still regularly hanging out with her, along with Winn 3 years later.
A familiar buzzing sound rang. That must be them!
Hazel was at the front door. Wearing her usual deep blue and pink striped hand-me-down, with a small duffle bag next to her. Not expecting how quick the apartment door would swing right open after ringing.
“Hazel!” Jasmine couldnt contain her excitement, almost slipping on the wooden floors as she ran up to her “Im so glad you're here! Is Winn with you?”
“Winn cant come” Hazel replied “something about dislocating their knee and having to rush to the hospital.”
“Bummer. hope they get better soon.” Jasmine then changed her tone of voice “Are you ready?”
“Yeah! This is gonna be the best sleepover ever! Ive got everything with me!”
Jasmines mother pushed the two girls away from the doorframe so she could get through them, in a rush.
“Alright kids, homes all yours” Mrs Tran started to explain “Daisy and Coriander went to a party, your fathers off to his night shift and im running late to a baby shower. You girls have enough food in the fridge, make sure the house isnt a complete disaster once i come back in the morning.” She opened the door in a flash. “Bye kids!” Mrs Tran yelled, having closed the door before they could say goodbye back.
And just like that, the two girls had the house to themselves for the next couple of hours.
“Is your mom always like that?"
-
The evening went by in a flash. The girls did every activity they could - play with her Jasmine’s pet rabbit, watched an anime Hazel had brought, tried prank calling their princible, roleplayed abit of those cat books they both liked. One after another - in no order - without taking a break.
Currently, however, they were laying down on the circular carpet in Jasmine’s room, looking up at her ceiling, with all the lights off, both exhausted.
The two had long been dressed into their pajamas. Jasmine had mix-matched two she had on her combining a red-pink shirt with a small bow on it along with striped purple-and-yellow shorts, her well-brushed russet hair now shaggy, while her friend had a silky turquoise bonnet covering her afro, with a simple green and white color scheme on her pajamas.
Jasmine took a quick glance at her clock. 2:32 am, when did 5 hours fly by that quickly?
Well, according to Hazel she wasnt ready to sleep yet.
“What if we go on your balcony?” Hazel pointed at the other door in her room, “i heard that during summer we can see certain constellations!"
Jasmine never thought about doing that. They were on the highest floor apartment after all, - maybe they could get a good look. “Well, its better then looking at the fake glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling.” Sure, they were nice to look at, but nothing beats the real deal.
The two girls, finally having agreed, got up from the soft carpet to open the glass door. Cooling summer night breeze hitting them, little to no other apartment complexes had their lights on. For a moment it felt like the two were the last people on earth.
“Oohh! Let’s lay down!” Hazel added with an excited voice. “That way it feels more authentic.” She proceeded to lay down, as she’d suggested. “We cant really lay down in grass, can we?”
“Sure!” Jasmine had joined in with her. Laying down on the cold stone floor of the balcony right next to Hazel. The balcony was more spacious then she thought it was.
“the floor’s much cooler then i expected it to be.” Jasmine admitted with a small awkward laugh. She could have never expected to have ever heard the next thing to come out of Hazel’s mouth.
“Do you want to cuddle?”
The suggestion made Jasmine speechless, leaving her not responding for what felt like millennium to the both of them. “Yes” was the only thing Jasmine could mutter out in response that was the least awkward out of the options she had in her head.
Hazel was warm. It balanced well enough from the stone cold…. Well, stone floor. Jasmines head under her friends chin, both of her arms wrapped around her best friend, with Hazel having put one arm around Jasmine, with the other under her own bonnet. They both didnt want to move at all.
The night sky was so beautiful .. The deep blue, along with speckled white dots across it, the moon shined brightly in a silver color. A giant white stripe plastered across the sky showing a pretty purple around it.
Snuggled. Comfortable. A breathtaking view. Cool breeze unlike the extreme heat during the day. With her best friend no less.
She never wanted to leave this moment.
“This one up there is Scorpius“ Hazel moved her free arm up, pointing at the constellation she was talking about. “Its easy to spot because its near the center of the Milky Way. OH! And that one up there is the North Star! That faint light up there! In some countries its called the Polar Bear! Its not the brightest constellation inspite of what we learnt in class, that goes to Sirius ! Which is just upppp right there!” Rapidly waving her finger around to the point where it was a little hard to follow. Jumping from star to star. “That ones Draco. You can tell because it never sets below the horizon. And that one is…..”
Jasmine loved how Hazel kept talking on about her favorite things. She knew so many details and information that it kept her hooked. From everything about geology, to french fries, to anything paranormal, to her favorite anime, she’d always pick out something small that most people wouldnt think to look that deeply about either. Right now Hazel loved talking about the stars, constantly sending links to articles she found to the group chat they had. Jasmine herself had terrible short term memory (believe her, she tried to learn the solar system back then and only just now had she got the hang of it.) so she was happy to be a great listener to her if Hazel wanted to talk about anything. Her voice was sweet like honey, she could listen to it all day if given the chance. It made her feel all fuzzy.
This seemed like it was out of those romance movies she’d notice her siblings watching from time to time when she passed by their room.
“And that ones Cygnus! It contains a black hole! And over there….”
Maybe it was time to get this off her chest.
A spontaneous thought that may or may not work out, yes, a little scared? Also yes.
All she needed was to elevate the conversation a tiny bit in another direction to get this thought out of the way.
“Hazel i dont think we’ve properly talked all day” Which was true - they got so caught up with whatever activities they were doing they couldnt sit down and have a proper conversation. “Whats going on in your life?”
“Antony is finishing collage soon!” Hazel answered “Im so proud of him. Oh! And also im going to have some appointments at a psychiatric evaluation in afew weeks.” She continued
“Why are they sending you there?”
“No clue. They said it will help me out, but i dont really know with what i need help with. What about you, Jas?”
Ignoring the nickname she was given, Jasmine answered her question. “Well.. My siblings are starting collage soon - Daisy is going into Law while Coriander is going to study medicine.” Pausing to take in more of her thoughts “Mom finally has enough money to send me to vocal coaching.”
“Congratulations!”
Hazels old words from 3 years ago still rung a bell in Jasmines head every once in a while.
And you love to sing! And you dont care who knows it, or what people think of you!
“My parents are also able to finally get me on estrogen!" Hazel had broken her thought bubble. "Guess we both finally got something we wanted for so long.”
“Congrats Hazel! Im so proud”
Jasmine had had this realisation last year.
She’d come to terms with it by now, Jasmine wasnt ashamed of herself.
Hazel was the one who helped her become fearless. Hazel was the reason she started to stand up for herself more. Hazel was the reason she was able to be more enthusiastic about what she liked without the fear of people pretending to be her friends. Hazel was the reason Jasmine started to walk up to people again.
Then why was Jasmine so nervous about this?
She took a deep breath.
“Hazel… theres something you need to know”
Hazel noticed her change of tone immediately. “Whats on your mind?”
“Listen Hazel i think i like you…” Jasmine didnt know how to start “N-not like a friend. As in..” She was panicking over her stumbled words, in the end she decided to say it bluntly. “Im bisexual, Hazel… You made me realise that. I love you more then a best friend.”
Total silence followed. Jasmine had started to imagine the worst case scenarios. Why did she do that? Maybe she shouldve waited, but for how long? 10th grade? High school graduation? Collage? When they were in their 30’s? Was this a mistake? Was it worth it? Why did she think this was a good idea? Why was she so impulsive in the moment?
To her surprise…. Hazel laughed, but not in a way she remembered her fake friends laughed it was more of a… genuine giggle?
“Thats so relieving” Hazel finally answered once her giggle died down. “I love you that way too! Glad to hear you feel the same way.”
“Wait.. You arent mad at me?”
“Jas, im a lesbian.” The taller girl answered. It was surprising to Jasmine how straight-forward she was compaired to her. “Why would i be mad at you?”
“I…. I dont know…” Jasmine responded, teary eyed “I guess i just always worry subconsciously about everyone accepting me.” damn you RSD. “I havent told anyone.”
“Neither have i.”
Jasmine was smiling wide. To think her impulsive decision would actually result in a good ending. Tears streaming down her face.
“Is it official?”
“I’d say it is” Hazel had brought her into a closer hug. Jasmine “How about a trip to the arcade next week? To celebrate.”
“Thatd be wonderful.” Sobs making it hard to fully understand what Jasmine was saying.
8 months ago, during class while paying attention, Jasmine had noticed how much she had been daydreaming living a life with her and Hazel as adults the past few years. she felt the same way movies had described “love” with Hazel. She couldnt stop herself from thinking about how she spoke, her spunk, and how adorable she was. She had freaked out, worried if had something wrong with her, filling her diary with her emotions she had been bottling in, barely paying any attention in class.
Until she had gotten an ‘am i gay’ quiz as an ad scrolling through social media once and did it out of curiousity, and then she kept looking up videos and blog posts on Google and Dimvid for peoples expiriences, even asking Winn ‘for a friend’ (in Jasmines own words). 8 months ago she never could have imagined today to have happened.
She felt fearless once again.
Two girls who confessed to eachother. With the most beautiful array of stars above them. Alone without a care in the world.
Snuggled. Comfortable. A breathtaking view. Cool breeze unlike the extreme heat during the day. With her girlfriend, no less.
She never wanted to leave this moment.
“Yknow how i said Sirius was the brightest star in the sky? I think they got it wrong. Youre the brightest star ive ever known in my life”