Chapter Text
Kel slowly opened his eyes and glanced at his black alarm clock that read “10:47 AM.” (So much for waking up early.) Kel stretched and tossed his basketball blanket off him, getting up and preparing for the big day ahead! Today was the first day of winter break and the first time in four years he would be spending it with his childhood best friends.
It’s been 3 months since everyone reunited…
Wait no… maybe 4? Kel hasn’t been keeping track. Kel tossed on some fresh clothes and ran down the stairs to see his brother cooking up scrambled eggs and crispy bacon. Hero seemed as if he had just gotten up with his hair unbrushed and pajamas still on along with Hero’s favorite apron: a white apron with a pink outline along with “Kiss The Cook” written in cursive. The word “Kiss” was crossed out with red marker.
“‘Morning Hero!”
Hero turned to Kel as he used a spatula to scrape the scrambled eggs off the pan onto a plate.
“Good morning Kel! I made some breakfast for you. Hope you slept well.”
Kel plopped down on his favorite chair and Hero placed his breakfast in front of him. Before Kel started to stuff his face, Hero spoke up.
“You should probably eat that quickly if you wanna pick up Sunny before he gets here.”
“Oh shit really!? I thought the bus arrived at twelve thirty!”
Hero whipped his head around with a slight scowl painted on his face.
“Language.”
Hero’s face returned to neutrality.
“And actually the bus arrives at eleven thirty.”
Kel quickly stands, running to the door and tossing on a coat. Kel yells a thank you to Hero for the breakfast that Kel never had a chance to finish and begins his jog to the bus stop.
Well shit. Kel promised Sunny over the phone he would be at the stop before Sunny arrived! Kel knows how susceptible Sunny is to illnesses and if Sunny has to wait there in the cold he might get sick! Why the hell couldn’t Kel just wake up on time for his friend?
Kel arrived at the bus stop and plopped down on the bench with a sigh. Kel was just blowing things out of proportion. When he arrived, he still had 15 more minutes before the bus would arrive. He shouldn’t let his stupid thoughts get in the way of having a good time with his friends. Kel made a mental note to keep his anxiety low and out of the way, at least for the week that Sunny’s over. I mean, what’s the point of stressing over such tiny things like being a little late to pick Sunny up from a bus stop?
…
As Kel was lost in thought, playing with his coat’s metal zipper, the bus turned a corner and came to a stop in front of him. Kel’s eyes lit up as the buses doors swung open with a squeak and behind it was Sunny, making his way off with a black backpack and suitcase. He waved to the bus driver before taking off his headphones and turning to Kel with a very small, but visible, smile.
“SUNNY!”
Kel excitedly sprang up from the cold bench, running forward with his arms open before engulfing Sunny in a bear hug. Kel then quickly releases him, realizing how he crushed poor Sunny.
“Heh… Sorry about that Sun! I’m just really happy to see you… how’s it like in the city?”
As Kel and Sunny make their walk back to Kel’s home, Sunny responds in his usual soft, shy voice that Kel adores:
“It’s… loud. I liked living in Faraway more… school has been ok as well but… I haven’t really made any new friends…”
Kel frowns. “Ah. Sorry to hear that…”
“It’s not all bad… art classes are fun and whenever you or someone calls… it makes living there a lot better.”
As their small talk continued, Sunny gently grabs Kel’s hand as they walked. Although he tried to hide it, Kel got very flustered by the gesture, but Kel knew deep down it didn’t mean anything. First of all, Sunny didn’t have any gloves on so of course his hands were freezing. Second of all, Sunny did this all the time! Ever since he was a kid, he held hands with everyone in the friend group. Why was he flustered anyway? Did he want it to mean something more?
“…Is something wrong?”
Kel look down at Sunny with a slight bit of panic on his face.
“What? N-No no! I’m alright man! What makes you think I wouldn’t be?”
Sunny’s eyes shift back down to the sidewalk in front of him.
“You just looked… a little anxious is all.”
Kel mentally slapped himself across the face. Didn’t he just make a mental note about not letting his feelings get in the way of letting him and his friends have a good time?
Before he knew it, Sunny and Kel both arrived at Kel’s front door. Kel swung the door open, fully expecting Aubrey and Basil to be behind it as they all planed for them to arrive after Kel got Sunny, but only Hero stood there as he washed the dishes, one of the many chores that his parents assigned both Hero and Kel before leaving on vacation with Sally.
“Hey Hero!”
Kel’s eyes scan over the room as Sunny walked in behind him.
“Where’s everyone else?”
“Basil and Aubrey are at Polly’s right now. They just need to finish up doing some chores there, but they’ll arrive before it starts snowing.”
Kel’s eyes lit up.
“It’s gonna snow?!”
Hero chuckles at Kel’s childish reaction.
“Kel it snows here every year.”
Kel’s face forms into a pout as he crosses his arms.
“Well yeah… but I’m still excited about it…”
Just about then, Sunny awkwardly lifted his hand and waved to Hero. Hero flashed his iconic smile and waved back as he spoke.
“Why don’t you help Sunny unpack upstairs while we wait for the other two?”
Without Hero even finishing his sentence, Kel grabbed Sunny’s suitcase and made his way up the stairs to his room with Sunny following not far behind. Kel opened the door to his room then placed Sunny’s suitcase right next to his air mattress that Hero set up next to Kel’s bed.
“So…” Kel said as Sunny walked in behind Kel. “Watcha wanna do?”
Sunny took off his backpack and coat, placing them on his air mattress.
“…We could play video games… if you wanted.”
“Sure! Why not?”
Kel and Sunny sat themselves down in front of the TV in Kel’s room. Sunny grabbed a controller as Kel booted up Mario Kart 64.
“Alright I know I usually suck at this game but I’ve been practicing! So don’t be surprised if I get first place!”
Sunny chuckled a little.
“Oh I’m sure you’ll win no problem Kel.”
Sunny’s sarcasm was palpable.
As time went by, it was evident that Kel had not been practicing. Kel went into this with extremely high confidence, letting Sunny pick the track every single time. Sunny had been getting first every time without fail and Kel’s highest placement had been 8th. Kel always managed to blame it on something like the controller or bad luck whenever he lost. After the end of a few races, Sunny started to pity him a little.
“Alright how about you pick the track this time?”
Kel’s misguided confidence shot up once again.
“Alright, but don’t be surprised when you lose!”
Kel turned to Sunny to flash him a goofy, overly confident expression, but Kel caught a glimpse of Sunny’s wrist.
Kel’s heart sank.
Small red lines were just blearily peaking out of his sleeves. Has he been cutting himself? Kel didn’t know what to do. Should he ask him about it? Would that make him uncomfortable? The cuts looked deep too… how long had he been doing this for?
As thoughts of what to do filled Kel’s mind, his body had been completely frozen, turning from overly confident and animated to concerned and frozen in a matter of seconds. Sunny noticed immediately that something was off.
“Kel? Is something wrong?”
Kel snapped out of his panic and took a deep breath.
“Sunny… have you been-“
“HEY LOSERS!”
Before Kel even had a chance of finishing his sentence, Aubrey kicked open the door and made her loud and rude statement. Kel looked over at her with a fake scowl.
“Nice to see you too Aubrey.”
Basil wasn’t far behind her.
“Aubrey! Don’t kick the door! Y-You could break it…”
Basil’s eyes shift over to Sunny. They both exchange an awkward, but genuine, wave to each other.
Aubrey sat on the floor, leaning against the air mattress.
“Oh come on Basil! You’re not livin’ if you’ve never kicked down a door at least once.”
Aubrey faces Sunny.
“Beating Kel’s ass in Mario Kart again?”
Sunny chuckles and Kel speaks up
“Hey! I haven’t been doing that bad! I’ve gotten close to first a few times!”
Aubrey raises an eyebrow out of suspicion.
“How close?”
Sunny starts laughing to himself and spoke before Kel had the chance to.
“…eighth place.”
Aubrey whips her head to face Kel with a dumbfounded look on her face.
“Eighth place is the best you could do? What the hell do you mean you were close to first?!”
Kel ran out of excuses and just sat there, drowning in embarrassment.
Aubrey snatched the controller from Kel and faces the TV.
“Unlike Kel, I actually have a shot of besting Sunny.”
She chooses to race Sunny on Rainbow Road which Kel knows from experience is a horrible idea because that’s Sunny’s favorite track. Basil sits down in between Aubrey and Sunny to get a better view of the screen.
Just like that, all the previous tension that Kel caused dissipated. Kel mentally slaps himself for the second time today. He keeps making Sunny worry about him and keeps making Sunny anxious. This is a time where Sunny and his friends are supposed to have a good time so why the hell does he keep fucking it up? He should just confront Sunny about it later. Hell, this shouldn’t have even happened! If Kel was a better friend and kept his promise of being there for Sunny, maybe Sunny wouldn’t have hurt himself in the first place! Why the hell is he such a horrible friend?
“God FUCKING dammit!”
Aubrey’s sudden outburst stopped Kel’s train of thought. Kel glanced up at the screen seeing that Sunny (playing as white Shy-Guy) finished in first place while Aubrey (playing as Bowser) finished second. Aubrey turned to Sunny.
“How the hell are you so good at this!?”
Sunny simply shrugged with the slightest hint of a smug expression on his face. Basil spoke up.
“I c-could try…”
Aubrey handed over the controller to Basil with a look of defeat.
“Good luck plant boy.”
Basil and Sunny picked a track as Aubrey watched on. Kel again was stuck in his own thoughts. He really should stop getting so emotional. The last thing he needs to do is cause problems by being an emotional pain in the ass. I mean, for fuck sake! All he’s done is make Sunny worry. It’s better if he just stays out of the way!
Again, Kel was snapped up of his thoughts with a tap on his shoulder. He looked over to see Aubrey with a slight bit of concern on her face, which was a rare sight to see, especially for Kel. Kel guessed that his internal struggle was evident on his face. Aubrey whispers to him.
“Everything alright dude? You look… upset.”
Kel quickly flashes on his iconic goofy smile, reassuring her that everything was alright. Before Kel even had a chance to get lost in thought again, Aubrey spoke up.
“Wait Basil actually won!?”
Kel whipped his head around and sure enough, Basil (playing as Princess Peach) was in first and Sunny was second. At first, Kel thought that Sunny was just going easy on Basil but sure enough he wore the same shocked expression as Aubrey. Basil places his hand on the back of his neck.
“Ah well… I guess it was just beginners luck… heh… I-if Kel and Aubrey wanna play-“
Basils sentence was quickly cut off to the sound of a knock on the door and Hero peaking his head into the room.
“Hey guys! Just letting you know that I made you guys some lunch if you’re hungry.”
Basil, Sunny, Aubrey and Kel turn of the tv and make there way to the kitchen where tamales where prepared for the 5 of them. (Some spicy, and some more mild ones for Sunny.) after everyone takes their seats, Aubrey is the first to speak.
“Thanks for the free food Hero!”
With a sudden burst of confidence, Sunny gave a smug look and crosses his arms, similar to something Aubrey would do.
“Oh wooow. Aubrey saying thank you? …I guess Basil’s been rubbing off on you...”
Aubrey faces Sunny with a fake look of betrayal.
“First off, flower boy isn’t rubbing off on me, and second, when the hell did you get so rude!? Am I rubbing off on you or something?”
“…Why do you keep calling me flower boy?”
“Well it’s true, is it not? I mean, people with allergies can’t even get within a mile of your house with the insane amount of pollen.”
Basil laughs a bit to himself before taking a bite of his food.
“Oh wow Hero! This tastes really good!”
“Oh it’s just a simple recipe really! I could teach it to you if you wanted!”
…
…See?
Everything is fine!
All Kel needs to do is keep his mouth shut and everyone can have a good time! But at the same time, he hates being quiet. He wants to speak and be included, but at the same time, every time he opens his big mouth, he screws everything up!
Kel’s breathing becomes heavier.
He’s selfish. Why the hell couldn’t he make up his mind to add to the conversation or not. Either way, he isn’t satisfied. He’s just so selfish!
Kel’s heart rate speeds up.
Kel needs to calm down. Aubrey and Sunny both noticed when he was anxious earlier he really shouldn’t make everyone worry about him. He needs to stop panicking for fuck sake! Why does his mind never cooperate!? Why the hell couldn’t he be more like Hero and stop being such a Fucking Nuisance!
Kel looks for something to take his mind off things but it only gets worse. It’s getting really hard to keep his breath steady. Kel hears ringing in his ears as his thoughts get even louder. Kel quickly stands up. Everyone halts their conversations to turn to him. Kel’s mind went blank.
“O-oh um… I’m just uh… going to the bathroom. I’ll be back soon!”
Without much thought, he walks out the kitchen as his friends pick up the conversation they dropped. He quickly made his way up the stairs, past the bathroom, all the way to his room. He flops himself on his bed, brings his knees to his chest, and tosses the blanket and sheets over his head. He felt all those thoughts of selfishness and anxiety rush back into his head. He then felt his face heat up and tears run down his face as he began to breakdown…
…
…
…how long had he been up there?
…
Sunny had started to get concerned. Kel has been gone for 16… no wait 17 minutes since he left for the bathroom. Is he doing alright? Basil must have sensed that Sunny was upset by something.
“Is something wrong Sunny?”
“…Kel”
“Ah… he has been gone for a bit. I see why you’re worried.”
“… I’m going to check on him.”
With that, Sunny stands up and heads up the stairs. He knocks on the bathroom door.
“Kel? Is everything alright?”
No response. Sunny knocks again. Still no response. Just then, he hears muffled sniffles from Kel’s room. Even more concerned than before, he knocks on the bedroom door and slowly opens it.
“…Kel? Are you okay?”
Sunny gets no response except a slight sniffle and hiccup. Sunny goes over to the side of Kel’s bed, placing his hand on Kel’s back, rubbing it.
“…Are you not feeling well?”
“…”
“…Kel?”
“…I-I’m ok…”
Sunny’s expression became more sympathetic.
“… your clearly not… can you come out from under the covers?”
“…”
“Please?”
Slowly, Kel came out of the cocoon of blankets he placed himself in. He sat up in his bed, puffy eyed and a few tears still streaming down his face. Sunny’s face morphed from concern to distraught. Sunny sits on the bed and placed his hand on Kel’s cheek, wiping off a tear with his thumb, before wrapping Kel in a hug.
“…What’s wrong?”
“… I-I don’t know…”
“You… don’t know?”
“…I’m just… overw-whelmed and I-I don’t know why… it’s just… to much t-to explain…”
Sunny released Kel from the hug.
“If you need some time alone to calm down I completely understan-“
“No”
Before Sunny could finish his statement, he was stopped by Kel, who grabbed his hand.
“S-sorry I just… please stay…”
“I know that you’re upset and you don’t know why… but can you to tell me how you started feeling like this? You don’t need to tell me everything… but getting things of your chest can really help.”
“… I’m… I’m a horrible s-selfish person…”
“Kel. You’re far from any of those things. You’re always trying to help others and-“
“I’m n-not enough.”
“What makes you think that?”
Kel hesitates for a moment before pulling up Sunny’s sleeve, revealing his scars. Sunny felt a pang of guilt.
“…you think this is your fault?”
Kel looks away from Sunny and nods.
“Kel this is not your fault at all! I kno-“
“I should h-have b-been there for you…”
“Kel you are there for me all the time! You were the one that helped me out of my house. You were the one that called me after I told the truth and then called me every night to see if I was ok. I’m sorry that I’m doing this… and I’m really trying my best to quit… but my actions are not your fault.”
“B-but… I c-can’t keep others happy… I k-keep letting my feelings g-get in the way…
“Kel it’s not your job to keep everyone happy. Being yourself is enough. It’s okay to tell us how you feel, alright? We care about you, Kel. You are enough. You are more than enough.”
“…”
“…S-Sunny?”
“Yes?”
“C-can we cuddle?”
Sunny looks at Kel with a sympathetic smile on his face.
“Of course.”
Kel lays back down and scooted over and Sunny got himself under the covers. They both wrapped their arms around each other. Sunny huddled close to Kel’s chest and Kel played with Sunny’s hair. Kel doesn’t know why, but out of anyone, Sunny is the one he trusts the most. Ever since he was a kid, he always came to Sunny if he needed to talk about something on his mind. Kel really missed him. Soon after, snow started to fall and stick to the window, and both Kel and Sunny drifted off to sleep.