Chapter Text
‘’Did we win?’’
‘’Yes.’’
Emma knew her father said that. She wasn’t sure of much else, but she knew that he definitely confirmed that she was indeed successful in sealing the wards.
In that case, she should feel no guilt about dying.
‘’Her heart stopped. David, her heart stopped!’’
‘’The medics are on their way.’’
‘’Over here!’’
‘’He’s bleeding out!’
‘’She’s not breathing! My daughter isn’t breathing!’’
‘’They can’t get the trucks up the paths. We have to get them over there.’’
‘’Start a line He’ll bleed out before we even get there.’’
‘’Female, unresponsive. Starting compressions—‘’
All the activity was noise in her head. Emma’s chest felt tight. ‘’Ow.’’
‘’Hurts, doesn’t?’’ Graham smiled at her. ‘’I know the feeling. You tried it on me, remember?’’
She did. ’’It didn’t work.’’
‘’Yeah, but you tried. Nothing worse than having your heart ripped out.’’
‘’Excuse me?’’ Neal interjected. ‘’Is that a dig at me? You think you win ‘Worse Death In Storybrooke’?’’
‘’Boys,’’ Millah said. ‘’Don’t argue about something so stupid.’’
‘’Is that a point for his side, ma?’’
‘’Well, I am biased.’’
‘’Why are you here?’’ Emma asked. She could hear the ambulances. Hear her mother crying into her father’s shoulder. See them in the distance. ‘’Why… where am I? Is… is it over?’’
She felt Neal throw an arm around her shoulder. ‘’Nah, Emma,’’ he said, feeling wonderfully close and warm and real. ‘’It’s not that simple. We don’t get to decide like that.’’
Emma wanted to reply, but couldn’t form the words. She didn’t want to die. She didn’t.
But she was so tired.
In a blink, they were gone. Neal, Graham, Millah— gone. She was laying down, looking up at a ceiling. The hospital, she registered.
Someone was sitting on top of her even as the gurney was pushed down the hall. ‘’Damnit, we’re losing her again!’’ They announced, resuming compressions.
The weight on her chest was painful. One and two and three and four and—
The world went dark. No dead to welcome her, just plain and utter darkness. Fortunately, or unfortunately, she was familiar with the sensation.
….
When a kingdom goes in mourning, you can tell by the black flags flying.
When a kingdom goes in mourning, you can tell by the vigils held at night.
When a kingdom goes in mourning, you can tell by the silence in the streets.
Snow had witnessed a kingdom plunged into mourning twice in her life; once by her mother’s death and then by her father’s. She did not know if Storybrooke was also now plunged into mourning— she hadn’t been outside since trekking home from the woods. That was… god, how long had it been?
In any case, if the people of Storybrooke felt these mournful circumstances, she imagined it wouldn’t be shown like it had been back in the Enchanted Forest. Their cursed selves and their customs and traditions forever clashed with their true selves. She had no reason to think it would be any different for this set of circumstances.
It wasn’t that she cared. It was just another sign of the distance and frankly, distaste the townspeople, made up of mostly her kingdom, had for their princess.
Don’t forget distrust, whispered the dark spot on her heart. You are the leader in distrust.
Snow could only bury her head in her hands, as if that would silence the voice from within herself. It was her distrust of her own daughter that led to this mess.
If she only trusted Emma. If only…
If only.
Dr. Whale was entering the waiting room. He wasn’t the primary doctor on their case; Luckily, that job was in an actual doctors’ hands, not a curse-made one’s. Snow got to her feet with David. Their hands were intwined, and she wasn’t sure who was gripping who.
‘’She’s out of danger for now,’’ were Whale’s first words. He went on to explain the particulars of Emma’s condition, the combination of using her magic and it’s effects on the injuries she sustained, as well as what the staff were doing for her, but Snow couldn’t pretend to follow any of it right now. All she could see was the image of her daughter being put into the ambulance and arriving at the hospital, some forcing her heart to beat, literally pounding life back into her chest.
‘’Is she awake?’’ She asked. ‘’Can we see her?’’
‘’She’s not awake,’’ Whale said. ‘’That’s probably best. Especially with what we know about her recent state.’’
Snow’s gaze flittered guilty to Regina’s for moment to where she stood across the room. No doubt she was the one who answered any immediate medical questions upon their arrival, such as the injuries she’d sustained of late, her lack of sleep…
What else had her daughter suffered without her knowledge?
‘’We’ll know more in the morning,’’ Whale concluded. He cleared his throat. ‘’Mr. Jones, on the other hand…’’
Hook had been in visibly worse shape to begin with. Snow remembered the accusations of him avoiding them, of mistrust.
‘’-He’s still in surgery,’’ was the only thing that registered over the pounding in her ears.
As Whale walked away, David turned back to the waiting area. Snow could feel his hand on her back. ‘’It’s going to be a long night,’’ he said softly. His eyes fell on Henry. ’’Regina, maybe Henry—‘’
‘’What?’’ Henry’s voice was cold and echoey in the quiet waiting room. ‘’ ‘Maybe Henry should go?’ And what? Leave you here with them?’’
‘’Henry.’’ Snow couldn’t help the exclamation.
‘’No! Don’t you see? This is your fault.’’ He got to his feet with his accusation. ‘’You didn’t trust her. You didn’t believe in her. You didn’t help her. What kind of heroes are you? I think she was right when she came to town; there are no such things as heroes, especially if her own parents don’t come to her defense!’’
‘’Henry, calm down,’’ Regina said.
‘’That’s not fair,’’ David returned.
But Henry’s mind was set. And unless Snow was imagining it, his cold gaze was settled on her. ‘’They could die. My mom and her true love could die. All because of you. And if only one of them makes it…’’
Snow couldn’t see for the tears in her eyes. Regina grabbed Henry’s arm, ordering him to stop. He brushed her off and fled the room, heavy footsteps sounding too similar to the beat that was still pounding in Snow’s ears.
David made to follow Henry. ‘’No,’’ Regina cut in. ‘’I’ll go.’’
‘’Regina,’’ Snow croaked as she past. She wasn’t sure what to say after that. A refute of Henry’s accusations, or seeking agreement from her?
Regina merely gave her and David her own stare. ‘’Where is he wrong?’’ She said, so bitterly and low in tone that Snow almost missed it.
Almost.
Just like she almost lost her daughter. And still could.
…
‘’Henry.’’ Regina followed him down the hall. Her body ached, the wound on her head most of all. The fight to close the rip between the realms had left it’s marks. But she quickened her footsteps to keep pace. ‘’Henry.’’
He finally stopped, his back to her. When she touched his shoulder, he turned and willing went into her embrace. ‘’I know,’’ she said as he cried against her, ‘’I know. She’ll be okay. She will.’’
‘’You don’t know that,’’ he refuted.
‘’Honey, she’s the stubbornest person alive. I do know she’ll be okay.’’ Regina took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. ‘’She will be.’’
‘’We did this,’’ Henry said.
In a way, he was right; they all ignored the signs that Emma and Hook were not okay, were still haunted by the past Dark One’s and recovering from all they went through in the Underworld. And instead of helping them, they made it worse by not trusting them, by all but outright accusing them of still using Dark Magic, of wanting Dark Magic. So much so that when the town was in danger, they went to handle it themselves.
Even if they’d been at the best, the damage still would’ve been bad. As it was now…
‘’The important thing,’’ Regina said, ‘’Is that they are safe. They are being taken care of and all we can do is sit tight. We’re here for them now, okay?’’
Henry gave a stiff nod. Regina wiped a tear away with her thumb. ‘’Can we see her?’’ He asked.
‘’Whale didn’t say not to,’’ Regina remembered. ‘’But afterwards, you should go home, okay? Robbie and Roland will be worried, too.’’
To her relief, Henry didn’t argue the point with her. Arm around her son, they set off down the hall in search of Emma’s room.
They soon found it. It was the one right across from the nurses’ station, which seemed a little disconcerting to Regina. They slipped in just as a nurse was exiting. She gave a small smile to Henry, recognizing him. ‘’Not too long,’’ she advised, ‘’But let her hear your voice.’’
‘’Thank you,’’ Regina replied. The nurse nodded, gave another encouraging, sympathetic look, and departed.
Regina stayed in the doorframe as Henry slowly approached the bed, her hand falling from his shoulders. There was Emma, still and silent in the sterile surroundings of the hospital. Given her penchant for brighter colors such as her red and orange jackets, it was quite startling to see her in surroundings so plain. There was no color to her face, no rolling of her eyes and no exasperated tone. It was almost as if she wasn’t Emma at all.
For all her words to Henry, Regina couldn’t help the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that perhaps this wouldn’t be okay. She longed to just use her magic and make this nightmare disappear. Heal Emma’s and Hook’s injuries and they could all go home. But that wouldn’t work this time. The rip between the realms from all their traveling, all the Dark Magic they’d used in this world without magic, had caused changes to occur. Dark Magic had become even more unpredictable. It rendered her unable to so much as close the cut on her head, let alone heal Emma’s and Hook’s severe injuries.
Henry stood to the left of the bed. For all he’d grown, he seemed smaller in these surroundings. ‘’Hey, mom,’’ he said, so quietly Regina barely heard. She saw him slip his hand into Emma’s. ‘’I’m… I’m really sorry. We should’ve believed you. I should’ve believed you. You needed me and I wasn’t there, but I’m here now. Just… just be okay, please?’’
He held her hand for a moment longer before letting go. He turned back to Regina. They exited the room. Had they walked a little faster, they would’ve missed the sound entirely.
Emma flatlined.
Regina grabbed Henry as he swerved back to the room. ‘’Nurse!’’
She pulled her son down the hall just in time to avoid the three nurses who darted past them. Emma’s heart monitor was screeching above her head. Her heart had stopped in the woods. And upon arrival. They brought her back. But again…?
The people in Emma’s room bustled with activity, both their training as medics in the Enchanted Forest and from her curse doing for her what no else could. Regina forced Henry down the hall, away from the scene, away from seeing his mother cold and still and dead on the bed.
They fell against the wall. Henry clung to her as tight as when he was six years old and afraid of the lighting storms outside. But unlike then, Regina couldn’t promise him it would be alright, that the storm wouldn’t hurt him. This storm had come for Emma and Hook, and was intent on hurting them all.
….
Emma could see the activity around her. It was strange, watching herself from this third person point of view. Was it really her, dying on that bed?
‘’Oh yes, it is,’’ Millah assured.
‘’Why are you here?’’ Emma asked again.
‘’Because,’’ Millah answered factual, ‘’No one should die alone.’’
Emma turned to her sharply. Could you feel fear when you were dead? ‘’Does that mean… that Killian…?’’
Just as she’d felt Neal’s arm around her, she felt Millah’s hand in her’s. ‘’Maybe you should stick around and find out,’’ she advised.
Another blink, and she was gone.
The bustle was still in the room, now happening above Emma’s head as she lay still on the bed.
‘’She’s back,’’ someone said. ‘’Can we keep her this time, people?’’
….
When they got home, Henry ran upstairs without a word. Regina didn’t hear his door close. In his grief, he did so quietly so as not to disturb his sleeping siblings and his uncle, who’d been here the whole while.
Robin was still awake, waiting in the living room. He met her in the foyer at the sound of them entering. ‘’Hey,’’ he said. Regina walked into his arms, more than relieved that she had someone in her life she could do that with. ‘’Hey. You okay?’’
‘’I’m fine.’’
Robin pulled her away to look at her. His fingers traced the bandaged wound on her head. The first few hours at the hospital, he’d been there by her side. It was only when the hours ticked by that she urged him to get back to the kids, giving Granny the reprieve. ‘’You can’t heal it?’’
‘’No.’’ The frustration at her inability to make this situation go away rose within her again. ‘’At least not yet.’’
‘’Does that mean magic is still changed?’’
‘’Time will tell.’’
He urged her to the living room. Regina was too tired to protest.
The softness of her sofa felt wonderful. The man sitting next to her more so. ‘’Emma? Killian?’’ Robin pressed. ‘’Any news?’’
He handed her a glass of water, already poured on the coffee table. ‘’We saw Emma before we left,’’ Regina admitted. ‘’And…’’
‘’And?’’
‘’Her heart stopped.’’ Henry’s panicked face flashed through Regina’s mind. ‘’Again.’’
Robin held his breath. ‘’But they brought her back?’’
‘’Yes.’’ Regina took a sip of the water. ‘’Killian… he’s still in surgery.’’
‘’Still?’'
‘’I don’t know.’’ She remembered the blood on the man, flowing from wounds made as Dark Magic coursed through him, trying to make him drop the only thing standing between it and engulfing Storybrooke.
Robin asked another question; ‘’How are Snow and David?’’
Regina took another sip of her drink, wishing it was something stronger so she could feel the comforting burn of it down her throat. ‘’I think they are finally seeing everything they were blind to,’’ she admitted. ‘’That we were all blind to.’’
She reached to put the cup down on the table. ‘’I’ve hurt people in my life,’’ she admitted. ‘’I’ve tortured, and burned, and killed people like you wouldn’t believe. But…’’ she scoffed, remembering the trampled down looks of Emma and Killian as they swallowed the hurtful remarks of the Charmings, confessed that they didn’t feel respected or trusted or forgiven. ‘’They haven’t forgiven me. They might not’’. ‘’But if I ever treated Henry, or Roland, or Robbie, or you like they treated them… please, just kill me. Set me on fire because I sure as hell would deserved it.’’
‘’You tried to help,’’ Robin reminded her.
‘’And look where it got them.’’
Regina was not well versed in self reflection. She didn’t do pity or ‘what-ifs’. She did with what she could do with the information she had at the time. That was how she changed and turned her life around.
But the state of Emma and Killian… She’d go back and redo something if it meant increasing their chances of survival. Lessening Henry’s pain. Lessening their pain.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option. So, she trucked her feet under her and leaned against Robin, shutting her eyes against the world and letting the pounding sensation in her head be replaced with his comforting touch.