Work Text:
As the months rolled on, Nicola often found her mind on Luke Newton. They crept ever closer to the commencing of their season, and she found the anxiety building stronger by the day. By now, she and Luke shared a camaraderie on set. He was a delight to work with, a dream of a scene partner, but she knew all too well that the months to come would demand so much more from them than previous seasons. They would need to be vulnerable with one another in a way she’d fought to keep locked in the back of her mind for as long as possible. The truth of it was, she was terrified.
They had talked here and there since Season 2 wrapped, making promises to meet up soon, but never quite committing to a plan. It wasn’t that she was avoiding it, per say, but they just never seemed to find the time. She’d been back in Ireland shooting the final season of Derry Girls, and after that, it just made sense to stay home for Christmas, retreating to the comforting warmth of her mother’s house. And now, all of a sudden, the new year was upon her, and it was set to be one of the most significant of her life so far. She’d finally made it back to London with a reinforced resolution in tow: it was time to get to work with Luke Newton. As she took her place on the sofa, wrapped in blankets to fight off the January chill, Nicola pulled out her phone, scrolling through her contacts until she found him.
Nic: Hello stranger
Nic: Are you free this Friday?
Nic: I’d love to have you and Jade round for dinner if you’re free
Luke: Hello 🙂 Jade’s on tour at the minute so she wouldn’t be able to make it, but I’m free!
Nicola tapped at her lips in thought. In truth, she had only invited Luke’s other half in the hope he’d feel a little more comfortable. Besides, she’d met Jade once or twice and she’d liked her a lot. She was a good match for Luke. They were cute together, in fact. She had half expected him to suggest another time to accommodate his girlfriend, but he seemed surprisingly willing to go it alone. Still, maybe it was a good thing that it would be just the two of them. It was certainly something they’d need to get used to sooner or later. The more she considered it, she came to realise she’d never actually spent any time with him one on one. Even when they’d shot their scenes together, someone was always quick to join in on their conversations between takes.
Nic: Oh that’s a shame!
Nic: A table for two it is then x
Luke: Okay haha, see you Friday 🙂
-
Nicola knew she was a good host. She thrived on acts of service, finding satisfaction with every glass she refilled and every second helping she stacked onto someone’s plate. It was the bit that came before it she wasn’t so great at. She had a remarkable talent for overthinking, scrapping and reworking menus and recipes down to the last conceivable moment. She still hadn’t remembered the golden rule of cooking before getting dressed, and she was already on her third outfit of the evening, owing to a falling bag of flour and a spillage of olive oil. She’d ended up in a short black bardot dress she’d forgotten she owned, hoping the steam from the kitchen would do something to address the creased cotton. Luke was set to arrive ten minutes ago, but she hadn’t had time to ponder his lateness as she frantically mixed together a white wine pasta sauce. But if he was always going to be as late as she was, they were off to a good start already.
With an array of covered pans finally appearing to be an order, she heard the intercom buzz into action. Right on cue, Newton. She hastily wiped her hands in a tea towel and rushed to the phone at the door.
“Is that you, Lukey?”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Up you come, then,” she said, granting him access with the push of a button. She opened the door to her flat and stood at the top of the stairs, ready to greet him with open arms. She recognised the nerves peeking through his expression as he jogged up the stairs, almost identical to the ones she had been fighting off all week. “Hello stranger,” she grinned, wrapping her arms tight around his waist the moment he reached her.
“How’s it going?” he asked as he embraced her, his hand travelling warmly up and down her back.
“It’s going good! I haven’t burned the place down yet, so that’s a start. Please, come in!” Nicola held the door open, her eyes following him as he passed her, stepping into her home. He looked… different. His shoulders were broader, and his arms seemed to swell beneath his sleeves. The boyish, chubby cheeks she had become familiar with were sharper, exaggerated by a dark shadow of stubble. He’d grown his hair, too, showing off a gentle curl pattern she hadn’t noticed before. He looked like a man. He looked good.
“Well someone’s been to Bridgerton boot camp,” she grinned, letting her eyes rake over him. “Jesus, Luke, look at you!” She saw his cheeks flush pink, revealing a glimpse of the boyish Luke she remembered. He was in there somewhere, at least.
“It had to be done, didn’t it?” he laughed, his hand reaching nervously to toy with his ear. “I couldn’t have Johnny Bailey showing me up.”
“Dedication,” Nic nodded with approval. “I like it.” Before her eyes could linger for too long, Nicola turned away, leading him to the kitchen. “Can I get you a drink? You name it, I’ve got it.”
“Uh, I’ll just have what you’re having,” Luke said. Guests like him were always her favourite.
“Is white wine okay? Sauvignon blanc?” she asked. Luke nodded agreeably in response. “It kinda pairs well with dinner, so I- wait,” Nicola paused, panic flashing over her face. It hadn’t even crossed her mind to check. “Please tell me you’re not, like, gravely allergic to shellfish.”
Luke began to laugh, likely at her wide-eyed expression. “I’m not, don’t worry.”
She let out an exaggerated sigh in relief, handing him a glass of wine before quickly taking a much-needed glug from her own. “Well that’s a good start,” she chuckled. “Are there any other life-threatening allergies I should know about before we get to dessert?”
“Bee stings, ironically,” he smirked.
“Oh, spoken like a true Bridgerton,” Nic teased, her grin widening to match his own. “I’ll stay clear of bee-related puddings then. Why don’t you pick some music while I plate up?” she said, gesturing to a display of records behind the sofa. Luke’s eyes widened a little at the challenge.
“No pressure, or anything,” he laughed nervously.
“ Nah, I bought them all myself, so you can’t go far wrong.”
Nicola watched him delicately trace through the shelf of records, lifting them up with care one by one, as though he was afraid they’d crumble to dust in his hand. She couldn’t help but grin, or wonder why he’d gotten so nervous around her all of a sudden. They were hardly strangers, after all. As she piled a generous helping of seafood pasta into bowls, she nodded in approval as Haim’s Women in Music III began to fill the room, preceded by that satisfying scratch of needle hitting vinyl.
“Good choice,” she said, beckoning him to the dining table with a jerk of her head.
“I haven’t actually heard this before,” he admitted. Nicola dropped her jaw in faux offence. “I’ve heard of them, I promise! I just haven’t heard this album yet.”
“I’ll let you off this time,” she smirked. “C’mon, tuck in.” Nicola took her place in the seat beside him. She’d thought about seating arrangements well in advance, considering how maybe it would feel strange sitting directly opposite her co-star. It felt foreign and formal, like some set-up interview to grill him. That wasn’t what she wanted this to be. She sought comfortable friendship, built on the foundation that they were equal. A team. At each other’s sides, no matter what. Amidst their proximity, it didn’t take long for Luke’s elbow to collide clumsily with hers.
“Sorry,” he grinned awkwardly. Nicola began to giggle. How could she forget?
“You’re a leftie, aren’t you?” she chuckled.
“How’d you know that?” He appeared perplexed, furrowing his brows together.
“I notice these things, y’know, Luke. I’m an observant gal.”
She saw his expression soften a little, as though it genuinely surprised him that she’d pick up on the minor specifics of him. Of course she noticed him. How could she not? But in that moment, she realised her own failings in letting Luke know quite how much she admired him. She considered him a friend, but she’d never really made time for him individually. She silently scorned herself, renewing a vow to herself to do better. Luke Newton deserved better.
The moment of cautious quiet between them ended with a hum of appreciation from Luke’s lips. “This is unreal, Nic,” he grinned, dabbing a splash of sauce from his lips. She offered a humble smile, masking the pride that hit her each time someone complimented her on her efforts. It really was her favourite thing to do. Making other people happy made her happy, especially with food. “I’m a terrible cook. You’ve put me to shame here,” he laughed.
“So I won’t be expecting a dinner invite any time soon then?”
“Not unless you’re a big fan of omelettes. I’ve mastered the omelette, but that’s about it.”
Nicola couldn’t help but laugh, finding comfort in the boyish humour she’d come to associate with him. As their conversation found its path, she made mental notes along the way, eager to nurture the dynamic between them. She noticed how his lips tightened together when faced with an open question, buying himself some extra thinking time. The smaller her questions were, the more he opened up, following up a yes or no with an anecdote each time, allowing her to peek at another page of his story. He took well to sarcasm and teasing remarks, granting her a grin that seemed to widen with every playful swipe she took at him. It quickly became clear that they shared an almost identical sense of humour. That was important to her, now more than ever, and she held out hope that they’d find humour in the unbearably vulnerable moments headed their way. In truth, she already knew that it was the only way she’d cope. As they finished their meals, she harnessed the opportunity of Luke’s decidedly more relaxed demeanour, testing the waters a little. They had to talk about it eventually, after all.
“Y’know, I’ve never done an intimacy scene before,” she admitted, maintaining a playful grin in hope of keeping him calm.
“Really?” Luke leaned back, resting his arm on the back of the chair as he turned towards her slightly. So far, so good.
“Never-ever. Have you?”
Luke nodded, and she couldn’t hide the hint of surprise that found her eyes. “Only two or three,” he said. Nicola could have sworn she saw a rosy glow crawl across his cheeks. “They were nowhere near the Bridgerton standard though.”
“Oh yeah,” she laughed, “Talk about throwing us in the deep end.”
Luke paused for a moment, pressing his lips together in contemplation. “Are you nervous?”
“Fucking terrified.”
There was no use denying, was there? Still, he seemed surprised by her answer. She understood why, in a way. She was a firm believer in the fake-it-until-you-make-it mantra; by now, she had mastered the art of false confidence. When in reality, she felt every last morsel of anxiety he surely felt, and then some. She knew what it meant. She knew her body didn’t resemble the tall, slender frames of Phoebe and Simone who came before her. And while she held no resentment for the soft curves of her own body, she held plenty of resentment for the world’s incessant desire to comment on it. “I suppose you’ll have to teach me the ropes,” she offered with a smirk, willing the banter she’d quickly learned to expect distract her from her thoughts. To her surprise, Luke deviated from the script. He didn’t mirror her smirk. Instead, his eyes earnestly searched hers in a way that almost made her nervous.
“What can I do?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“What can I do to make you comfortable?”
Nicola felt a swell in her heart - one she hadn’t felt in a long time. She knew he was a sweet guy, that much had been clear to her since their first day together at work. But she had never realised just how compassionate or considerate her co-star was until that moment. She couldn’t recall a single time a man had asked her this before in her own life, let alone at work. Guilt crept along her skin as she realised she’d underestimated him. He had already succeeded in encouraging her comfort, simply by asking. Nicola fought to find composure, becoming aware of how her lips had parted without actually allowing a response to pass through them.
“Just have my back, I suppose,” she finally said, allowing her hand to find his own along the back of the chair. “And I’ll have yours, always.” She watched his gaze fall to her hand, following her thumb as it swept back and forth his knuckles. He stayed quiet, but a small smile began to curve his lips upwards. Nicola chewed at her lower lip, fighting the urge to allow this moment of tenderness play out to completion. The longer the silence stretched out between them, the more dangerous it seemed to feel.
“Ready for dessert yet?” she asked, ending the quiet with a squeeze of his hand. His response was delayed, as though he’d physically pulled himself away from his thoughts. “Crumble and custard?” Nicola added, which seemed to yank him back to reality with a wide-eyed grin.
“You’re joking,” he beamed.
“What?”
“That’s, like, my absolute favourite dessert.”
Nicola refrained from mentioning how Luke’s enthusiastic repeat orders at the set’s catering tent were another of his little quirks she’d picked up on. “What are the chances?” she smirked, rising from her seat and retreating to the kitchen. When she returned with two bowls in hand, she headed straight for the sofa. They seemed united in their desire to find comfort, so why not start now? “C’mon, bring the drinks over,” she beckoned, placing Luke’s bowl on the coffee table as she dropped into her usual corner. He was quick to obey, slotting the delicate necks of two wine glasses between his fingers and grabbing the bottle of wine with his other hand. He took his place in the opposite corner of the deep cyan loveseat, exchanging her wine glass for his dessert. A low groan of appreciation escaped his lips at the very first spoonful, encouraging a burst of laughter to escape Nicola.
“Are you okay over there?” she teased. “That was a very sexual noise, pal.” His cheeks were quick to flush, but he seemed to take it in his stride.
“I can’t help it! This is actually food porn.”
At least she knew what those intimacy scenes might sound like, she supposed. Nicola had been so consumed by her own vulnerabilities, she hadn’t given much thought to the Luke of it all. How he would sound, or taste, or feel against her skin. It wasn’t the most professional train of thought, but quiet curiosity now found itself added to the pile of mixed emotions stacking high in the back of her mind, to be left untouched for another day.
With bellies and wine glasses filled, they reclined against the arms rests of their respective sides of the sofa, facing one another as they talked. Conversation seemed to generate with ease, jumping from one story to another seamlessly. Nicola was almost embarrassed to admit that she had learned more about him on that sofa than she had in two years of working together. He’d told her about his family, and the tight bond he shared with his sister. He’d shared his struggles with ADD, and his tricks for tackling script-reading with dyslexia. He’d told her through an embarrassed grin that spent a fleeting period in a boyband, and Nicola made sure he knew he’d live to regret ever telling her, teasing him mercilessly. And in turn, he’d listened intently to every word she offered back, following her words with nods and questions. He really was a good egg. She knew he belonged in her life, that he was put there for a reason.
It became apparent to them both that they were similar in ways neither of them had expected. She was pretty sure Luke thought she was joking when she described herself as an introvert. “But you’re always so… switched on ,” he remarked.
“I am when I need to be,” Nicola conceded. “But then I need, like, three to five business days in hermit mode. It’s a balancing act.”
“I think you’d better teach me that balancing act,” Luke said, uncomfortably ruffling the chestnut waves on the back of his own head. “I get overwhelmed so fucking easily.” Nicola allowed her eyes to search his for a moment. She was conscious that this went beyond the casual chit-chat of getting to know one another. He showed vulnerability, and it warmed her insides to know he trusted her. Her hand reached across the sofa to find his, leaning into his earnest eyes.
“Me too. But maybe we can help each other. Why don’t we make a pact?” she suggested, catching Luke’s attention as he raised a brow in curiosity. “When we’re on set and either of us feel overwhelmed, or lost, or exhausted - we find each other and we take five. We can take a walk, or a trailer nap, or just bloody sit in silence if that’s what we need.”
Luke seemed to consider her offer, but a small smile soon began to spread across his features. “Silence on the set of Bridgerton? You must be joking,” he chuckled, causing Nicola to roll her eyes. Perhaps his sarcasm would have been enough to embarrass her, to make her feel silly for suggesting such a thing, but the tight grip of his hand around hers told her all she needed to know. “No, you’re on. You’ve got yourself a deal.”
Nicola’s eyes shone brightly in his direction. She raised her glass to the gap between them, inviting him to cheers to seal the deal. His glass tinged against hers, and a calm quiet settled between them as they took another sip. As the silence stretched on, Nicola found her mind looking for distractions, and she wondered how long ago the music had stopped playing. It was easy to forget your surroundings when locked in conversation with Luke. She wondered if he had always been this captivating, and if she’d been ignorant to his charm this whole time, or if this was a new quality born from his new-found maturity.
Before she could think of another thing to say, Luke’s phone chimed from his pocket, breaking the silence on their behalf. Nicola’s hand retreated to the safety of her own lap.
“Sorry, it’s Jade. I should-” Luke fumbled, finding his way to his feet.
“Yeah, no, of course!” she replied nonchalantly. She pulled a blanket down from the back of the sofa, wrapping the thick knit to pool around her waist as she watched him wander towards the kitchen. She couldn’t place its source, but there was something causing discomfort to creep along her spine.
“Hey babe. Yeah, it’s good, I’m still here, actually…”
Nicola tried her best not to listen, her hand reaching for her phone and tapping into Instragram in search of a distraction. But her flat really wasn’t that big.
“No, we’ve just been chatting - yeah, about the season and stuff.”
And stuff. A lot of stuff, as a matter of fact.
“Sorry, I was going to call when I got off the train… no, I didn’t realise the time. I’m sorry.”
Nicola’s eyes flickered to the top of her phone screen, eyes widening in surprise. It was close to midnight. When did that happen?
“Okay. No, it’s okay. I’ll head off in a sec. I’ll text you when I’m home…. Fine, I’ll call you when I’m home. ‘Kay. Love you. Bye.”
As his footsteps padded back towards the living room, Nicola forced her attention back to her screen, scrolling mindlessly.
“Jade says hi,” Luke said, and she allowed her eyes to meet his again with a smile. She’d gathered he was probably lying, but a white lie never did any harm. “I should probably head off - I didn’t realise the time,” he said, reaching for his jacket draped over the back of a dining chair.
“Sorry, I’m a bit of a yapper once you get me going,” she laughed, setting her wine glass down to rise to her feet. “This was really fun, though. We should do this more often.”
“Definitely,” Luke grinned. Nicola paced towards him, rising to her tiptoes as she embraced him warmly. He gracefully accepted her, wrapping his arms tight around her frame. “Thanks for having me,” he hummed.
“Any time, Newton. Any time.” Reluctantly, she withdrew, and saw him to the front door. “Let me know when you’re home safe, okay?” It was a force of habit - Nicola’s friends were long used to the obligatory house emoji text at the end of the night. Luke Newton had officially earned his spot on that list.
“Will do,” he laughed. “See you soon?”
“Very soon,” she nodded, leaning against the open door as she waved him goodbye, watching him disappear into the darkness of the stairwell.
True to his word, Luke’s name flashed up on her phone forty five minutes later.
Luke: Home 🙂
Luke: Thank you so much for tonight. I feel like I could talk to you for hours!
Luke: Well… I did talk to you for hours lol
Luke: I feel so much better about going back to work already. I hope you do too 🙂 Good night Nic x
Nicola’s manicured thumbs hovered reluctantly above her screen, her lower lip caught between her teeth as she re-read his messages. There was so much to say - there was, perhaps, too much to say. She couldn’t find the words to summarise how much her growing nerves had calmed just by getting to know him. On the other hand, she couldn’t even organise the thoughts to summarise how a very different kind of nerves threatened to quietly creep into her mind. And after two and a half bottles of wine, she decided against trying.
Nic: Me too 🙂 Good night Lukey Newts x