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Kim Dokja was reaching for a tuna kimbap when a soft voice asked in accented English, “Excuse me, but, do you know where we are? I am a bit … lost, you see.”
He finished adding a snack to his cart, straightened up, and cautiously checked that his face mask was still tight to his nose and mouth. A quick glance down confirmed that his current outdoor loungewear was as generic-looking as they came.
This guy couldn’t be one of his “Demon King of Salvation” stalkers, right? Of course, today was the one day in over a month that he was grudgingly allowed to do errands companion-free. Ugh.
If this stranger ended up being dangerous, he’d be subjected to endless tongue-lashings from his companions. But faced with the dilemma of sneaking away or acknowledging the guy … he really couldn’t, in good conscience, ignore a direct plea for help.
Kim Dokja dug deep for his rusty English skills, then slowly turned and replied, “You’re in a convenience store in Seoul, South Korea. Do you know that much, at least?”
He felt the need to mention the country, because of the man’s peculiar outfit (at least for Seoul). Chinese hanfu in light pastel greens and blues, cloud-like stitching along the sleeves and hem, and long flowing silks complete with jade accessories. He looked like he’d stepped straight out of a xianxia web novel!
As Kim Dokja watched, the man’s eyes darted to the side, and a pale hand raised an intricately embroidered fan to hide his mouth. So suspicious, thought Kim Dokja. His hand twitched for his smartphone.
“… no, sorry, I had no idea … how am I going to meet up with – ahh, this this is very bad. Very bad.” His words devolved into rapid-fire Mandarin, which Kim Dokja couldn’t understand.
Huh. Maybe he’d ended up here due to a faulty Skill? There were still some mischievous Stories out there refusing to disappear, even without the full power of the [Star Stream].
“Let me check out, sir, then I’ll help you out. What’s your name? I’m Kim Dokja,” he started, as he walked to the cash register.
“Shen Qingqiu. Sorry for the bother.” And with careful steps, he followed Kim Dokja.
Sharing his name was the final test to check if this man was a crazy stalker, but there was really no reaction! So, Kim Dokja sighed to himself and decided to help.
“Qinqiu-ssi. I hope you can trust me when I say, I have many resources to assist you. And you’re so out of place here, I feel obligated to help. It’s not much trouble.”
The other man’s face brightened a little at the reassurance.
After paying for his goods, Kim Dokja bobbed his head towards the exit of the convenience store. They both headed out. But just as the two of them were about to leave, the television behind the counter switched from commercials to a breaking news report.
“Chut! Chu-chut! More than thirty years after the events of the Dokkaebi Scenarios, Yu Junghyeok, formerly declared a terrorist, has finally been exonerated of his crimes! We’ll be reaching out to his representatives for future comments. Chut!”
To Kim Dokja’s surprise, Shen Qingqiu froze and looked somewhat shellshocked. His eyes were glued to the menacing (but handsome) mugshot of the aforementioned ex-terrorist.
“Yu Junghyeok!?!? The protagonist of Three Ways—!?” Shen Qingqiu cut himself off by slapping his hand over his mouth, followed by his fan. His eyes darted over, then away.
Ah? Interesting.
Kim Dokja examined the man more closely. Yes, he’d already seemed unusual, but just now he’d proved that he was no simple guy. To recognize Yu Junghyeok from the original Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World, instead of Yu Junhyeon from SSSSS-Grade Infinite Regressor which Han Suyeong had plagiarized (from herself) … hm.
They both exited the convenience store in a slightly awkward silence. Kim Dokja waited for them to take a few steps down the sidewalk before speaking—
“So. Qingqiu-ssi. You know Yu Junghyeok? But not about this world? Are you a returnee, by any chance?”
“A-ah. A returnee?” Shen Qingqiu stammered, very visibly struggling. He fanned himself rapidly. Kim Dokja walked farther, gesturing towards a bench outside a small park. They both made their way over, Kim Dokja placing his bag of groceries between them after they sat down. He waited patiently.
“Okay. Frankly, Dokja-xiansheng, I think my situation is somewhat difficult to describe. But if you’ll hear me out …”
“I don’t have much else to do. I’m retired, one would say.”
“Haha! So am I! Just, give me a moment, let me think.” Shen Qingqiu dropped his fan into his lap, gazing thoughtfully at the painted river flowing across the panels. “In a way, yes, I am a returnee. However, my world doesn’t seem to be this one. Although it’s quite similar, my family doesn’t exist here, for one.”
Kim Dokja felt a bit uncomfortable. “Qingqiu-ssi, because of the Scenarios, a lot of people died, perhaps including yours—”
“No, I checked. I managed to ask a kind person to look up a few things for me. I’m fairly certain my family never even existed here. But, I do appreciate the consideration.”
Kim Dokja sighed, a little relieved, and let Shen Qingqiu continue.
“Anyway, this world isn’t mine but it does seem like it split from it at a certain point. At least, this is what I gathered, after I heard the name Yu Junghyeok on that broadcast. You see, he’s the protagonist of a web novel I read, way back. The version I read was poorly translated from Korean into Chinese, though the content was already poorly written to begin with. It was called Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World. But even though it was bad, the story itself had … major potential! I’m actually kind of sad I didn’t get the chance to finish it.”
Kim Dokja, who had nearly leapt out of his seat at “poorly written”, forced himself to settle with a soft exhale. No, he was NOT about to throw hands with this stranger over his favorite web novel. He should even be thrilled that it reached Chinese readership! It was even a bit novel to hear someone else explain the novel to its biggest fan. Yeah, TWSA was at least popular enough to gather international fans, how admirable!
(You’re such a lying little nerd, a voice like Jeong Huiwon’s laughed in the back of his head.)
Anyway. “Qingqiu-ssi, you might not believe me when I say this. But when that web novel completed, fiction became reality in this world, and the Scenarios started just like in the book. Including Yu Junghyeok and his companions and all the constellations. But I do have to wonder, why aren’t you more surprised to see a walking, talking character in real life?”
The Chinese man flipped his fan over in his lap, rubbing his thumb gently over a seven-peaked mountain crowned by thick bamboo forests. “That’s quite a funny story. See, I left my world and transmigrated into a trashy harem novel called Proud Immortal Demon Way. And there, I met the protagonist and all the characters that I’d only seen as words.”
“What!? Really? Huh.”
“Yes. Transmigration for me and reverse transmigration for you. What a coincidence, right?”
“Yeah, what are the chances?”
They both stared at each other, then began giggling, which exploded into full-blown laughter. Across the street, a lady and her Pomeranian treated them to matching, disapproving stares. She hastily picked up her puffball of a dog and fast-walked away.
“Haa~ it’s a relief to get that off my chest. And, since we’re fellow readers, let me correct one thing, shall I? Please call me Shen Yuan. It’d be nice for someone besides Binghe to call me by my birth name.”
“Of course, Shen Yuan-ssi!” He paused. “But who’s Binghe, that he knows your original identity?”
Shen Yuan hummed, giving Kim Dokja an almost-shy side-glance. “You … you’re not homophobic, right? Binghe is my partner. Romantically. Haha, actually, he’s my—”
He leaned in conspiratorially with his sleeve raised to muffle his voice.
“—my husband!”
“Congratulations,” Kim Dokja said sincerely, after a beat of surprise. “Assuming you met after transmigrating, he’s a character, right? How did that end up working out?”
“Well, Luo Binghe is not just a character but he is the protagonist of PIDW, so as a dedicated reader I really didn’t stand a chance. But I wonder about Binghe’s feelings, sometimes. A boring, shut-in guy wouldn’t normally earn the affections of the golden hero.” He stopped short, then frantically waved his hands like he was warding off a million buzzing bees. “Sorry, he never likes when I say negative things about myself, so forget that I said that!”
“No, no, in fact I face the same concerns. It seems we’ve stumbled upon a second coincidence.” Kim Dokja let out a short, barking laugh. “My own companion is Yu Junghyeok!”
Shen Yuan let a shrill yell. “No! Companion-companion? The Yu Junghyeok!?” He gesticulated wildly. Kim Dokja dodged the flailing fan.
“Yup. The Yu Junghyeok. It’s crazy how we’re so similar, Shen Yuan-ssi.”
“Really, what are the chances!?”
“Well, I hope you plan to stay a while. It could be funny to see our partners interact,” Kim Dokja joked. However, Shen Yuan shook his head in regret.
“As much as I’d love that … likely not. As soon as Binghe discover that he’s brought us to the wrong dimension, he’ll want to bring us back right away. For our second ‘honeymoon’ he wanted to gift me a visit to my world. He’ll be mortified to know he messed it up this bad. I probably won’t be able to linger.”
“Aw, that’s too bad. Then let’s make the most of the time that we’ve got! Want to come back to the House with me? It’s too early for dinner, but maybe you can meet my Junghyeok-ie.”
“Assuming Binghe doesn’t find me on the way, sure! Why not!”
They stood up and patted down their clothes. Seeing Shen Yuan subtly wipe sweat from his brow, Kim Dokja felt a bit bad for picking a bench in full sunlight on a warm summer day. He fished around in his bag of groceries, and then offered a bottled green tea to Shen Yuan, who nodded in thanks.
Kim Dokja started strolling ahead at a comfortable pace. “Hey, why don’t you tell me about your Binghe? And how can he travel dimensions anyway?”
Shen Yuan’s eyes lit up in a very familiar way, and he opened his mouth wide. From fast-moving lips came poetic and passionate essays about Binghe this, Binghe that, his adorable black sheep, his mouth-watering congee, his cute adoration. The nonstop ranting was extremely OOC behavior unbefitting such a graceful-looking gentleman. Shen Yuan was swinging his hands to and fro as he expounded about his man’s finer (and flawed) points. Kim Dokja chuckled fondly to himself.
Jeez, did all readers look like this when promoting their favorite characters?
It was about fifteen minutes before the towering architecture of Kim Dokja’s House (officially named by majority vote) came into view. But neither man noticed, because they were locked in a heated debate.
“And I decided then and there to school that b*stard by listing all seventeen of the rhinoceroses that Luo Binghe defeated—"
“You’re one of those keyboard warrior types, I see!”
“Shut up, Dokja-xiansheng! Not everyone can be satisfied by wholesome one-to-one threads with their beloved, lackluster author.”
“Ha! Excuse you. My beloved, talented author would beat you black and blue if she heard you say that. Suyeong-ie is a renowned writer AND professor, well-respected by peers and students alike!”
“Wasn’t she accused of plagiarizing that other web novel? SSSSS-Grade Infinite Regressor?”
“What! I didn’t know you read that too before transmigrating!”
“Again, some of us actually read other novels.”
Kim Dokja looked askance, and pouted slightly. “I never said I never read other web novels … just that I enjoyed re-reading TWSA more when given the choice.”
“Right. You Yu Junghyeok-obsessed freak.”
Cough. “Anyway, this might be a bit confusing, but Han Suyeong actually wrote both of those books.”
“… that’s not humanly possible. Surely there aren’t enough hours in the day?”
“It’s a long story. One half of Suyeong wrote SSSSS-Grade in the daytime. The other half wrote TWSA at night.”
“I can’t even pretend to be shocked anymore. What absolute craziness. And speaking of craziness, look at that monster of a house coming up. It’s soooo gaudy. People still had cash to burn on real estate after a whole freaking apocalypse?”
“Ah, well.” Kim Dokja adjusted his face mask, embarrassed. “That’s … my House. The one I share with everyone.”
“HUH??” Shen Yuan dropped his half-empty tea bottle, letting it spill over the sidewalk in favor of gawking at his new friend.
But before Kim Dokja could defend himself, a deep voice dripping in scorn emerged from the monster-sized house.
“How wasteful.”
Shen Yuan looked up slowly, and his mouth dropped open even further at the sight of the man standing on the doorstep. He was most definitely protagonist material. The naturally tousled black curls, the skintight black tee, the clean-cut black slacks, the fuzzy slippers … the ladle … held high in one hand? … the … frilly pink apron … declaring “Kiss the Cook”!?
Time seemed to restart as a joyful “Junghyeok-ah!” came from Kim Dokja. His entire demeanor changed from boring and plain to horrifically lovestruck. He jogged forward, saying in Korean, “I got you the groceries you requested. And picked up a new friend on the way! I offered him a place to stay while his husband finds his way here. Uh, soon. Maybe?”
An exasperated huff was barely heard. “Kim Dokja.”
“Oh, don’t give me that. He’s a fellow retired reader, and he’s got his own Life and Death Companion. Have some compassion!”
Yu Junghyeok’s gaze, which had softened at Kim Dokja’s approach, hardened again as he turned piercing eyes upon Shen Yuan. The victim of his glare was treated to a very judgmental once-over. A beat after his inspection was complete, the protagonist-turned-cook stepped back into the House.
“Fine. Just bring in the vegetables, before they spoil. And Biyu was asking for you earlier.”
“All right~” Kim Dokja followed and caught the door. He turned and smiled sheepishly at Shen Yuan, who looked quite pale. He switched back to English, calling, “Sorry about that! Come on in!”
“Thank you again, Dokja-xiansheng,” he chuckled nervously. “I’m not sure how much longer Binghe will take, so I appreciate your kindness.”
As if called by the heavens themselves, a desperate cry came from the street corner, followed by the screams of terrified civilians.
“SHIZUN!!??”
Like a bamboo swaying in the wind, Shen Yuan bent towards the sound. His feet and arms moved as if tugged physically by that distressed voice. Blatant relief overtook his face. A buff, drop-dead gorgeous specimen of a man hurtled towards them. He was dressed in similar flowing robes to Shen Yuan, but in reds and dark gradients. The man—Luo Binghe, most likely—was riding a flying sword, arms outstretched and crimson-colored eyes fixed upon Shen Yuan. They not-so-gently crashed into each other and embraced tightly.
As soon as Binghe touched down, he kicked his sword into his hand and slashed it through the air. An ominous rift formed, similar to when the Devourer of Dreams had appeared. Without further ado, Binghe stepped through, cradling his madly blushing spouse.
“No, Binghe, wait!” Shen Yuan turned his head quickly. “Dokja-xiansheng, thank you so—”
And then they were gone.
Kim Dokja stood stock still, blinking in shock from behind Yu Junghyeok. He saw his companion’s hand clench and unclench around his ladle, wielding it in front of them like a mace.
After they both watched the rift close without a trace, Yu Junghyeok muttered darkly, “You, Kim Dokja, are never allowed to go out alone. Never again.”
Kim Dokja only weakly laughed.
Mass hysteria was ensuing from where Binghe flew from, police sirens wailing distantly. At their feet, his poor soggy veggies peeked out of the dropped bag. Alarmed cries came from inside the House, pounding footsteps heralding the appearance of every single member of Kim Dokja’s Company that happened to be home.
With such a disastrous ending to his new friendship, Kim Dokja could expect intense 24/7 supervision for at least the next two months.
Well. With a little forewarning, maybe Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe could visit again in the future? Kim Dokja hoped so.