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These days, Fang’s school workload seemed to only increase. When Tan would wait for Fang’s class to end, he noticed after several times that he had been waiting longer and longer each time. This had extended from minutes to hours in difference. Tan hadn’t brought it up, but he could tell Fang was feeling bad about it by the way he reacted once he saw Tan.
The overworking has clearly taken a toll on Fang. Not that Tan minds taking care of him, but it was hard to get him to do anything other than sleep. Tan tried his best to make sure he showered and ate before sleeping, but he could be hard to convince sometimes.
The most noticeable difference was physical. His hair had grown. Fang’s hair had been about the same length as tans for a while, from when they first met, to when they started dating. But now, Fang’s hair had gotten past his ears and wow, he looked beautiful. Fang always did, but something about the way his grown-out hair framed his face only enhanced that; like a painting before and after being varnished.
Today Tan once again sat outside of Fang’s classroom waiting. It was dark outside, and it had been for a while now. He couldn’t put a set time on how long he had been waiting, but he didn’t care as long as Fang did eventually come out of the classroom. It seems the stars aligned to answer his prayers because Fang appeared in front of him moments after that thought.
He seemed to be upset, and Tan didn’t have to ask to know why, so he didn’t. Instead, he grabbed his hand and stood up, but as he did this he felt Fang’s resistance to move. Tan quickly locked eyes with him and replied to his silence, “Babe, it’s not your fault.” Fang’s expression only seems to worsen upon hearing this. Tan can feel a sudden guilt arise for even having to see Fang like this.
“I don’t want you to have to take care of me,” Fang explains.
Hearing this makes Tan frown, “Babe, come on, I don’t do anything I don’t want to.”
Fang shakes his head, “I’m sorry.”
Tan lets go of his hand temporarily to pull Fang into a hug. Tan wraps his arms behind him quickly and begins to rub his back ever so slightly. He really hated seeing Fang this way, and he hated that Fang felt bad for relying on him. He would never consider Fang a bother, he just wishes Fang could get that. But it didn’t matter how often he told him, because there were always moments when rational thinking would be lost. Tan lifts a hand up to stroke his hair gently. It really has gotten to be so long now. His fingers glide through Fang’s hair and the both of them can compare the moment to times before, but the identifier of the present is the memory of those flashes that show within the growth. Tan can recall these flashes and can imagine all the different inches, centimeters, millimeters that have been added since then, making more room for new echoes to come back to, “I love you.” Tan can feel his shirt become slightly dampened by Fang’s tears. The tiredness Fang was feeling, little to no breaks, spending his free time doing homework, Tan hated to even think about it. It made him mad that he couldn’t do anything to stop it. All he could do was comfort him, as he was doing now. He wanted to be able to prevent Fang from feeling like this entirely. Fang might feel like Tan was doing too much, but to Tan, he wasn’t doing nearly enough. “You could never bother me, babe. I want to take care of you.” Tan then pulled back slightly from the hug to make eye contact with Fang directly.
This display won a weakened smile from Fang, “I love you too.” Fang’s eyes rose up from their resting spot on the ground to meet Tan’s. His caved-in under eyes were accentuated by the pinkness and wetness of his tears, his pupils dilated. Tan let go of Fang’s waist and reached for his hand again as he had done earlier. This time, there was no resistance.
Tan got a ride and they both headed to Tan’s apartment to wind down. As he had predicted, Fang had one interest and that was sleeping. Tan really couldn’t blame him, but he would blame himself if he didn’t get him to at least consume some food. So Tan ordered in some food, and they made a deal that Fang could take a shower in the morning.
So they change into pajamas and they get ready to sleep, just as Fang has so desperately been waiting for. But as Fang goes to lie down Tan comes behind him holding a hairbrush, to which Fang replied by sitting on the bed leaving enough room for Tan to join him close behind. Tan compiles to the silent opening and sits down. Tan knows that Fang likes his hair touched, but he wonders if Fang knows that Tan likes touching it just as much. He begins brushing from the ends, “I like your hair, babe.” It’s quiet, and Fang doesn’t reply to this, but Tan doesn’t need any vocalizations to know that Fang is smiling. “It’s getting long,” Tan added.
“Are you done?” Fang finally manages.
“It brings out your cute face.” Tan stacks on. Fang exhales a deep, disappointed, but most importantly fake sigh.
Fang can’t retaliate this time, or at least he doesn’t. So they sit there quietly for a bit longer as Tan continues to brush through his hair. Tan eventually places down the hairbrush on a nightstand nearby. He takes advantage of his current position by running his finger through Fang’s just-brushed hair; it’s thick but still soft and somehow Tan can swear he can feel the difference of each strand that touches his skin. Tan removes his hand and turns to leave Fang’s side of the bed, but not before he places a kiss on the top of Fang’s head as he walks past.
Once Tan reaches his side of the bed and lies down, Fang inches closer to him, searching for his warmth as the room is too dark to rely on sight. Tan reaches out to him placing his arm on Fang, allowing him to use this starting point as a guide. Fang takes Tan’s arm and puts it on his waist, then takes his hand and cups a side of Tan’s face. He uses his thumb to map out where Tan’s mouth is and glides across his bottom lip. Tan can hear the sheets ruffle before Fang’s thumb is removed from his lips for a split second before it’s replaced with the familiar feeling of Fang’s kiss. Tan is quick to kiss back, smiling into Fang.