Chapter Text
"A Union of Enemies: Granger Married Up"
by Rita Skeeter
for the Daily Prophet
4 May 2015 It has come to this author's attention that The Golden Girl, Miss Hermione Granger has returned to England after several years' absence. Where she disappeared to was certainly a mystery but she has returned with her husband, ex-Death Eater Draco Malfoy and their three boys and a girl to take their place at Malfoy Manor after the passing of the patriarch, Lucius Malfoy last month.
As the couple prepares for their life of wizarding aristocracy after a prolonged disappearance, the wizarding world watches with bated breath. A known elves-rights champion, will Miss Granger shake the foundations of the aristocracy way of life by snubbing it or will she embrace it hypocritically since she has long since enjoyed such a luxurious lifestyle?
Only time will tell if Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger’s marriage will be a fairytale ending or the start of a new chapter in wizarding intrigue. One thing’s for certain: the story of their union is far from over, and we’ll be watching every spellbinding twist and turn with the keenest of eyes.
Stay tuned, dear readers. Rita Skeeter will be here to provide all the latest updates and scandalous details as they unfold!
"Ugh, she's driven me insane from the moment we arrived here," Hermione exclaimed, slapping the Daily Prophet on to the breakfast table. "She hasn't changed one bit."
Draco looked up from the Quidditch section of the newspaper and peered his concerned eyes towards his irate wife. He knew after 15 years of marriage that all he needed to do was to keep quiet and let her finish her rant.
"First of all, Miss Granger?! I'm a healer for Godric's sake. Or at least call me Mrs Malfoy!" she bit out bitterly.
"And...she called you an ex-Death Eater...you were not even one!"
Without taking a pause to breathe, "The way she writes it, it's as if we just got married instead of already going on 15 years. Unbelievable. Where does she get her sources from, anyway?"
Hermione finally plunked herself onto the chair. Yes, Malfoys plunk.
A cacophony of shouts finally made her climb out of her reverie.
"Mummy! Mummy! Leo took my toy broom and played with it without asking me!" cried a boisterous 5-year old with platinum hair as bright as his father's.
"No I didn't!," Leo, said defensively, "I only touched it, that's all! You're just telling fibs, Orion! Mummy, he's just making it up!"
Hermione looked up at Draco with a defeated sigh.
"It's too early in the morning for me to deal with this, honey. Please...deal with this...disagreement" and she walked away to the sunroom without touching her breakfast.
"Boys, you upset your mother with your bickering this morning," Draco said sternly. "She's not happy about something and you made her feel worse instead of better. Do you want to make her feel better?"
The boys nodded silently awaiting instructions.
"Okay, Leo, how about practising your handwriting and writing a cheerful pick-me-up note for Mummy?" Draco suggested to the 7 year-old.
"What about me, Daddy?" said Orion, eagerly.
"You can help me put together a tray and we can get Mummy her breakfast, how about that?"
Note placed next to food on a breakfast tray levitated to a small table next to Hermione's loveseat:
Hi Mummy,
Sorry me and Orion made you upset. Daddy said the horribel horrible woman in the newspaper wrote bad things about us. But we love you Mummy and you're the best Mummy in the world. I'm proud to have the best healer in the world for my Mummy. You're so clever and smart and you work so hard and you love us so much.
Love,
Leo and Orion (daddy helped) xxx
Dear Mum and Dad,
I am settling into Hogwarts well enough despite transferring straight into 4th year from Australia. They organised a hat-sorting just for me and Cassie joined the first years of course. It would please Dad to know that we are both in Slytherin. Uncle Theo might have lost a bet about that. Nanna must have had a premonition that we would be snakes because she packed us green-coloured silk pyjamas. Imagine if I had to wear that if I was in Gryffindor?
It's a lot to get used to after the laid-back life in Australia. Having meals at proper times in the Great Hall, it's a good thing Nanna made us go to those comportment classes because I wouldn't have had a clue that we couldn't start eating until the professors had done so. Grannie Jean sent me Anzac cookies and Tim Tams from Australia - oh I miss those. She wrote to say that she and Pops will visit me and Cassie on the first Hogsmeade weekend when she's staying over at the Manor when Mum is due. I still miss Grandpere but I have brought his pocket-watch that has his likeness on it. Some of the Gryffindor boys have been giving me some grief about Grandpere being a Death Eater but it's okay, he's a hero in my eyes. I suppose without him, we wouldn't have Professor Snape - not any less grumpy, like you said, Mum.
Everyone knows that we are Malfoys because of our hair but no one realised you were our mum until the Daily Prophet got delivered just this morning. It caused a bit of a ruckus. The article was annoying though, how dare they call Mum "Miss Granger"? I know Dad was never a Death Eater. I can't believe people read this tosh and think it's true. I really hope that this Skeeter woman doesn't write about us. I don't really like this infamy. Why did we move here again? Sorry, Dad. I know why. It was a rhetorical question. I love the Manor, I do. But I also loved our home in Melbourne and I miss my friends there. At least Cassie has Olympia who she knows since they were in nappies.
My favourite subject so far is Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall is still going strong after all these years. I believe you Mum, when you said Divination was a load of rubbish. Is it possible to drop it and take something else???
This is it from me for now. Give my love to Nanna, Miffy and the two annoying brats I call brothers.
Lots of love,
Scorp
Dear Mum and Dad,
I am in Slytherin! So is Olympia, I'm so glad. Her dad made a bet that I'd end up in Gryffindor like Mum so I guess he lost. Uncle Theo always loses bets...he should make better predictions. Let's hope Aunty Pansy doesn't get mad that he keeps losing money. Olympia and me have the same dorm and her bed is next to mine. Hogwarts is going to be awesome!
Scorp seems miserable. I suppose it's because he doesn't have any friends like me. Well, he's gonna have to start making some friends then!
Today at breakfast people were talking about a newspaper article that was about you guys. I can't believe that our family is famous. It's a bit annoying at times because people keep gossiping untrue stuff and asking stupid questions. Like someone asked me if you were getting a divorce because we keep Miffy. Someone commented about your hair saying it was weird to have a strip of blonde hair like that. And Olympia asked about Mum having another baby and some nosey parker commented 'isn't your mum too old to have another baby?'. Stupid Ravenclaw girl. Wow that's a contradiction.
How is my little sister doing in there? I can't wait to meet Lyra when she's born. I have too many brothers and they're gross. One of the 3rd year Slytherin girls asked me about Scorp as if she wants to date him and I just screwed up my nose thinking how gross Scorpius is. How is he a 'dreamboat'? He farts too loudly in my face and leaves his clothes all over the floor at home.
Scorpius said Grannie Jean and Pops is coming to visit us!!! I can't wait! I miss them so much since we left Australia. Nanna gave me and Olympia matching green silk nighties. It's so soft! Do I use too many exclamation marks? I'm just excited.
I miss you both. Yes, I even miss the two rascals. What are they up to now anyway? Never mind, I don't want to know. Just don't let them mess up my room when I'm gone.
I hope Professor McGonagall will let us go home when Lyra is born. I want to her to meet her big sister as soon as possible.
All my love,
Cassie
P.S. Olympia says Hi and she said thanks for the new quills.