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Buck felt like an idiot begging Eddie to forgive him. He hadn’t done anything wrong, not really, just stood up for himself. That’s what the lawsuit was about. Him finally having the guts to stand up for himself and do something for himself. There was no welcome back for him when he’d finally dropped everything and was allowed back. There was no welcome feeling, even. Everyone aside from Hen pretty much avoided him or scowled at him or blatantly shoved him out of their way. Hen had put an end to that real quick, though, and it made Buck love her even more. Hen was awesome and totally deserved the wine and brownies he’d taken over to her house, no matter what she said.
“Can I ask why you’re coming to me about this and not Captain Nash?” Captain Roberts asked, raising an eyebrow at Buck.
“Because he’ll deny it.” Buck said as firmly as he could without letting his irritation show. “I’ve been cleared, but I’ve been kept as man-behind for the past two weeks. I may have been hired back finally, but I’m not being utilized as anything other than a glorified janitor. I have heavy rescue and air rescue certifications, not to mention the records I set when recertifying.”
“Hm.” He seemed to appraise Buck. “It’s not as busy as A-shift.”
“I don’t care.” Buck said, feeling hopeful. “I need to be out there, no matter how busy or slow the day goes.”
“Alright. We’ve got a new probie, anyway, that could use some guidance and a solid mentor. Each time I assign someone to him, something comes up and he’s alone again.”
“I’ll do it.” Buck nodded eagerly.
“Good. Alright, I’ll file this and get you on our schedule, but don’t be surprised when Captain Nash figures it out and wants to see both of us for doing this behind his back.”
“I’ve still got a friend on A-shift, and she said she’d take care of anything being said about me.” Buck shrugged. “Paramedic Wilson.”
“Good call. She’s one of the best I’ve ever seen. Be back here tomorrow at 3 and we’ll get you integrated into the team and get you and Pannikar introduced. He’s a good probie, just needs a little guidance and some reassurance.”
“Sounds good. I’ll be here. Thanks again, sir.” Buck shook his hand and gave him a genuinely grateful smile before heading out, a little bounce back in his step.
Ravi Pannikar seemed like a decent guy. Buck refused to think of him like a kid because of how often he was still called a kid. It was nice getting to show off his knowledge of everything firefighting that he’d gained over the years. It was also nice to be able to just talk when showing Ravi how to disassemble and reassemble various things they’d encounter. Apparently distracting Ravi from what he was doing by having him tell Buck about finances worked. Of course, Buck had endless questions about the market and investing percentages and everything once Ravi got going. Ravi practically beamed at him when asked questions and Buck was clearly paying attention to him, clearly invested in the information he was providing.
Lucy Donato was a floater that came through occasionally. She usually worked over at 136, but she swung through to cover for a guy on paternity leave and another woman who was injured on a call. The three of them just clicked somehow. The two of them even picked Buck up from the hospital after saving a guy stuck in a windshield on Halloween, as well as the woman with a brain bleed. Buck had changed his emergency contacts after a week of working with Ravi and knew he’d be a good person to list that wouldn’t ask an insane amount of questions, let alone hover anxiously. He still had Bobby, Eddie, and Maddie down, but he moved Ravi to primary so he didn’t have to deal with their very disapproving looks or commentary.
“This is called the Bisexual Anthem, Bi Pride, stand up!” Buck said, turning up the song as he, Ravi, and Lucy decompressed in the loft after a long night and A-shift started showing up.
“I like girls, I like guys!” Ravi agreed, bopping along.
“Whoo!” Bosko whooped, rushing up the stairs and joining them while everyone else from A-shift that was getting in watched in increasing confusion.
“Yeah these bitches hatin’ on me ‘cause I’m confident in me, better not forget the B in LGBT!” All of them sang together, still shimmying around while Bosko bounced like she was at a rock concert. She was fresh coming into her shift, so she was allowed to be that energetic.
“Yeah I’m bi, I’m bi, I’m the B in this you know why!” They cheered as the song finished, laughing together before turning the music off.
“Damn, looks like you have the best decompression parties on B-shift.” Bosko chuckled.
“Buck started us doing it a few weeks ago.” Ravi agreed. “It’s honestly the best thing ever.”
“Helps shut the brain down if a shift was rough before going home.” Lucy agreed.
“Yeah, yeah, you all think I’m awesome.” Buck sighed dramatically, even though he knew he was blushing.
“I’m disappointed in you, Buckeroo.” Hen said, smirking at him. “I thought the least I warranted was a visit and some bi-brownies or something.”
“Wait, I didn’t tell you?” Buck asked, shocked at himself. “No! I had a whole thing planned in my head! Brownies included! Don’t tell Karen, I’ll come by this weekend and we can do my whole coming out thing then with dual flavored cookies and everything.”
“Two bottles of wine should help her forgive you for not telling us sooner.” Hen laughed. “Now get out of here, all of you. Go rest.”
“Yes, mom!” Ravi said, snickering as he ran away from her, Lucy laughing right behind him. Buck hugged her, giving her a kiss on the cheek before following them.
“Sucks Josh just got on shift.” Ravi whined when they got to the locker room to change.
“Yeah, we really need to find a way to meet up for brunch or something more often than every other week.” Buck agreed.
“Get the whole spectrum of us out to eat together.” Lucy hummed. “I’ll talk to Bosko and see when she’s free and invite her to the group chat, too.”
“Cool.” Buck nodded, slinging his bag over his shoulder as the three of them waved Captain Roberts off. He smiled, shaking his head and laughing lightly as Bobby joined him, watching them in confusion. Buck didn’t have time to think about it when Ravi threw an arm over his shoulders and demanded his attention.
“We have that meeting later this afternoon, don’t forget.” Ravi pointed in his face, making him laugh.
“I won’t. I am not missing the chance to do some actual, real, investments.” Buck nodded.
“See you guys later!” Lucy yelled, waving as she jumped in her car.
“Buck?” Eddie called, looking between Ravi and Buck curiously.
“Hey, Eddie.” Buck smiled, bumping Ravi’s fist as he headed for his car, too.
“What are you doin’ here?” Eddie asked, still looking between him and Ravi when Lucy drove by, honking at him and flipping him off, making him laugh again as he flipped her off too.
“Just got off shift. Think most of your guys are inside, though. We were hella busy so hopefully it’s not so bad for you all.”
“You … changed shifts?” Eddie asked, frowning at him. “Why?”
“Eddie,” Buck sighed, tossing his bag inside his jeep, “things have been really shitty here for me after the lawsuit. Hen was the only one who was even slightly nice to me. I apologized to you because I felt … I felt like I had to. I wasn’t wrong for what I did, and I shouldn’t have had to do that to get you to see the situation from a different perspective. But you’re my best friend, aside from Christopher. I’ve never had a best friend before, ya know? And I didn’t want to lose that. Still don’t, actually, but you need time to decide for yourself. All of you, my own sister included, said I was wrong and overreacting. But, if I was overreacting, I wouldn’t have been offered a settlement. So. Whenever you’re ready, give me a call or text or whatever. I miss hanging out with you.”
“You were offered a settlement?” Eddie asked, looking shocked.
“I was.” Buck agreed. “Go or you’ll be late. I start again at midnight, so maybe I’ll see you later.”
“I’ll call you when I’m off.” Eddie agreed, waving him off, looking really confused and slightly frustrated.
Buck spent the next few days with his routine, now with the added occasional text from Eddie that always made him smile. When Saturday came, as promised, Buck showed up with peanut butter swirled brownies and cookies that were half chocolate chip, half chocolate peanut butter chip, as well as two bottles of wine, to the Wilson house. Naturally, Karen cheered excitedly for him telling them while Hen smiled at him proudly.
“No I am not gay, no I am not straight, I’m the B in this bitch, bi pride all day!” Buck cheered at the end of another wild shift, dropping onto the couch as Lucy and Ravi lay on the floor while the song played. No losses, thankfully, but they barely had a moment’s rest. B-shift was normally fairly slow, but they’d had a lot more busy nights than they apparently did before Buck joined them.
“Not straight, huh?” Eddie asked, leaning on the counter where he had a cup of coffee.
“Jesus.” Buck gasped, jumping because he had no idea when Eddie had actually gotten there. “Give a guy a heart attack, why don’t you.”
“Sorry not sorry.” Eddie shrugged, grinning at them.
“Team bi pride!” Lucy yelled, while Ravi and Buck each raised a hand up in solidarity.
“Exclusive group?” Eddie asked, dropping onto the couch when Buck lifted his head enough to lay it back on Eddie’s thigh, not willing to move yet.
“Nah, not really.” Buck sighed, making himself more comfortable.
“They have a bi chat group and we have a bigger LGBT chat for the rest of us who are one of the others.” Hen said, heading for the coffee.
“It’s mostly memes, isn’t it?” Eddie asked, grinning down at Buck who snorted and nodded.
“When did you learn about memes?” Hen asked, raising an eyebrow at Eddie as she took a chair.
“Ravi helped.” Eddie admitted while Ravi nodded his agreement.
“Hey, shift’s over, get out of here!” Captain Roberts grumbled at them.
“Just getting our breath back, sir.” Lucy called. “We’ll be out in a bit.”
“You can stay for breakfast?” Bobby offered, smiling at them all. “It’ll give you a chance to recover a bit more.”
“Dope.” Buck agreed, reaching a fist over that Ravi and Lucy somehow connected with even though none of them were looking.
“Don’t fall asleep, man.” Eddie teased, flicking Buck’s ear, making Buck scowl at him. Or, he tried to scowl, but it probably looked more like a pout.
“I’m telling Chris you’re picking on me.” Buck grumbled, sitting up and leaning back against the couch and Eddie equally. If Eddie wasn’t beside him, he’d totally have fallen back down and probably fallen asleep. He eventually let Eddie pull him up and push him to the table where Bobby had set out breakfast, Hen helping Ravi and Lucy up and giving them a nudge as well. Chim eventually joined them, looking at the new faces in confusion but not saying anything.
No one did, really, because the B-shift crew were all struggling to stay awake. Until they were leaving, anyway. Then, the same guy Hen had written up for harassing Buck apparently decided he wasn’t done causing issues and shoulder checked him hard enough that Buck lost his balance and actually scraped up his hand and arm when he fell.
“My office, Kennedy.” Bobby growled, glaring at the guy as Hen and Eddie rushed over to Buck and Ravi was attempting to hold Lucy back from attacking him.
“It was an accident, sir.” The guy said, attempting to look innocent.
“Bullshit.” Hen scoffed. “I wrote you up once for harassment and bullying, I’ll do it again.”
“You have a record of harassing Buck and you still pulled that stunt?” Chim asked incredulously. “Wow, man. Unbelievable.”
“I’m fine.” Buck grumbled, trying to get his hand back from Eddie, but he held onto his wrist tighter as Hen poured some saline over his arm to try and wash out the gravel. “Yes, Ken-doll is a dick. But if I’d been more awake and not coming off a long shift, I would have-”
“Would have nothing.” Lucy growled, still glaring at the man who finally relented and walked to Bobby’s office. Both Captain Nash and Captain Roberts were there, so he was in for a major talk. “He has to learn his attitude is not ok. This isn’t fucking grade school where he can bully and demean anyone he doesn’t like and get away with it.”
“What she said.” Ravi agreed, putting his arm over her shoulders now that she wasn’t actively trying to attack someone. “Get cleaned up and go home, Buck. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, alright.” Buck waved them off as Hen and Eddie pulled him to his feet and walked him to the back of the ambulance to get checked over. Captain Roberts reappeared and gave Buck a ride home, saying he wasn’t in the right state of mind to drive, which Buck could not argue with. He was exhausted and he knew driving while incredibly tired was akin to driving drunk. He really wanted to shower, but he was afraid he’d fall asleep standing up so just stripped down and fell asleep as soon as he was horizontal.
Buck ended up having to switch back to A-shift for a little while when there was a massive chemical fire in a tunnel that had Bobby out of commission for a bit. Eddie seemed pretty happy to have him back, though, even when he reminded him that it was only temporary. It still didn’t dampen his mood. It was nice getting drinks at the Diaz house after shift again, though. And Chris loved that he was around again. Even though they facetimed a lot, it wasn’t the same. After that, it seemed they were always trying to find a reason to have Buck on shift with them at least once a month. Then every other week. But Buck refused to change shifts permanently. Yeah, they had all gotten close, like family, but Buck couldn’t deal with the heartache of being left behind or abandoned again.
So he didn’t. He put himself first and embraced who he was and how happy he felt with people who were similar to him. Definitely one of his better decisions in his life.