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Pim has completely ruined their evening and there’s nothing he can do to fix it. It should’ve been simpler than this, he should be fixed by now, he should have just done some deep breathing like his therapist taught him and it would have all been fine…
Pim was sitting in the break room with Charlie and Glep, eyes glued to the Worms News Worldwide update report on The War. Allan was leaning against the counter talking to Charlie, probably about the news but for the life of him Pim couldn’t focus on their conversation. He was too invested in the mystery that was last night’s dream.
Pim found himself in his childhood home, except it was much dingier and darker than he remembered. Doors didn’t lead into their usual rooms; they instead led down twisting hallways which forced flashes of his past upon his eyes and ears, few of which had remained in his head since: his mother and father yelling, although at each other or at him or at something or someone else he can’t remember; him and his sister Amy arguing, about what he also couldn’t remember but the pain and anger of their exchange were both still vivid; his torment at the hands of childhood bullies… and even more abstract images he couldn’t quite attach real memories to.
Getting a therapist had been working out quite well for Pim. His sessions started out with him just processing the previous week but recently he’s been digging deeper and deeper into his past. Apparently it’s burst a dam in his subconscious. His next appointment wouldn’t be for another week, so he’d have to process this dream on his own if he was gonna make it through the work day.
Ok, clearly everything about his parents had been bothering him but that wasn’t new… he hasn’t thought about Amy since he last showed up to a family dinner with Charlie and their suicidal client Desmond-
Oh, there it is. There’s the rub. Desmond. Why was he so stubborn about not letting him die? It seemed more urgent to him personally than other suicidal clients had been…
Pim’s thoughts were interrupted by the blaring Smiling Friends alarm, his shock vocalized with a yelp. “Woah Pim, you ok?” Charlie’s attention shifted from the TV straight to Pim, completely tuning out the alarm. “Yeah, I’m fine, I-I can explain later.” Pim lied, with zero intentions of following up if he could help it.
Pim and Charlie found themselves in the void of Mr. Boss’ office like usual. “Hey guys! I just got a call from a client, says here we’ve got a teenager dealing with some depression, they called the line themself. They want to meet at the skating rink at 552 Meep Boulevard, and,” a light shone from underneath Mr. Boss’ face as his serious southern drawl took over his voice, “they say it’s real important to keep their parents out the loop.” He punctuated his sentence by spitting some chewing tobacco out onto his desk. Pim squirmed at this. “Pim, can I talk to you for a second?” Charlie asked before crouching down to Pim’s level and moving one step away from Mr. Boss’ desk.
“Look Pim, clearly something’s not right with you today. You didn’t even say good morning to me when I walked in, now that’s not good. If you need the day off that’s totally okay man, I’ve called in sick over mental health stuff too so any secrets are safe with me-“ “I’m fine Charlie, I really am. Let’s just get on with the mission, I’m sure I’ll cheer up once we meet the kid!”
Pim did not cheer up once they met the kid. Their struggles were all too familiar: feeling disconnected from your family, like they didn’t really accept you, like you couldn’t confide your parents in any problems because it would just be used against you or ignored completely… Pim doesn’t remember the details of that adventure, just that the smiling chime eventually played after a heartfelt talk he gave on autopilot. Successful mission!!!
After filling out paperwork back at the office, the clock struck 5PM and Pim was hit with a wave of relief. Finally, he could just go home and watch some Desperate Housewives and completely tune out all of his feelings- “Hey Pim, we’re meeting at your place tonight, right? Do you still want to hang out?”
Oh. Oh no. Pim had completely forgotten that he’d invited Charlie over the night before. They’d already cancelled video game night five times and last time was because Pim had eaten some really bad Mexican food so there was absolutely no way that he could cancel on Charlie now!!! “Sure thing Charlie! Just let me pack up,” Pim said, hoping his mask was completely intact.
Charlie saw right through it. “Pim, we really don’t need to do this tonight if you can’t-“ “Nonsense, Charlie! We’re going to have the best video game night EVERRRRR!!” Pim dashed out the door before Charlie could respond.
Pim had dashed home, hoping to have more than a minute to himself before Charlie showed up, but Charlie’s longer legs had balanced out Pim’s speed. Pim let Charlie in and then just… stared at him. Pim tried opening his mouth multiple times but he couldn’t force anything out. Charlie broke the tension by clapping his hands together.
“Ok uhhh… d’you need me to do a snack run quickly or something?”
Pim nodded. Anything to get a moment to himself.
“Alright, I’ll pick up some cheetos and trail mix, I know that’s your favourite, I’ll see you in a bit.” Charlie turned and left, leaving Pim completely alone with his thoughts.
Alone?
It’s something Pim’s wanted the entire day, some relief to finally go over everything.
And then it all came pouring out. The dam was completely destroyed.
Pim was consumed by the weight of his memories. Rejection and hatred flooded through his veins again, physically overwhelming him into a fetal position on his cold kitchen tiles. Pathetic. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. What a joke, he couldn’t even hold his optimism together for himself. Who was he kidding, sticking around at all? Who would mourn a pink stain on the floor? He was just scum to be scraped up and forgotten about, right?
Despite his complete breakdown Pim knew he had to act fast before Charlie got back. He suddenly found himself in his bathroom, the door locked and the faucet running. The noise would not be enough to drown out his turmoil this time….
In desperation he thrust open his drawer, digging around for it… ah, here we go. Hello old buddy.
Pim held the razor blade in his hands, watching the shine of the bathroom light reflect on the metal.
All of his loathing and misery drained out with the crimson weeping from his palm. To concentrate on the wound was an immediate and intense distraction. His mind was finally, finally quiet.
Knock knock.
Pim waited, hoping to the lord that was a delivery person or a Jehovah’s Witness or something-
Knock knock knock.
“Pim?” Charlie’s voice echoed through the apartment.
Fuck.
Pim has completely ruined their evening and there’s nothing he can do to fix it. It should’ve been simpler than this, he should be fixed by now, he should have just done some deep breathing like his therapist taught him and it would have all been fine…
In a panic, Pim tosses the razor blade into the garbage and wraps his hand in layers on layers of toilet paper, not bothering to rinse out the sink. He unlocks the bathroom door at the speed of light and rushes to let Charlie in, clasping his hands behind his back as soon as the door’s open.
“Hey! I brought the cheetos and trail mix, couldn’t resist some cheez its and a six pack of white claw if you’re interested in drinking tonight.”
“O-Oh, wonderful! Just come sit, everything is neat and tidy,” Pim lied.
“…”
“…Pim, were you crying..?”
Pim hadn’t even noticed that his face was covered in tear trails, or that he had snotted up so much he almost sounded like an Australian Charlie.
“Yeah I… was watching a really sad video before you came.”
Charlie’s face was contorted in concern. “Ok… what was it about?” he asked as he walked in and set the snacks on the coffee table.
“Oh, well there was a baby duck and a stewed tomato and… it’s just too sad to get into now Charlie, let’s play some Super Mario Party.” Pim gingerly walked toward the living room and set himself down on the couch, hands shoved under his thighs.
“Alright, alright, cool cool,” Charlie turned on Pim’s Switch and set himself down on the couch for only a moment before leaping up again.” Shit, we kinda need controllers if we’re gonna play this game…”
Pim gulped.
“Here you are my good man,” Charlie held the blue controller in front of Pim.
Pim slid his good hand out from under his thigh and grabbed it.
“We’re gonna play one-handed? Wish you told me, then I could’ve practiced properly.” Charlie shoved his arm behind his back and adjusted the switch controller in his hand.
Charlie started up the longest round of Super Mario Party in Pim’s entire life. Despite being overtaken with anxiety, Pim managed to come pretty close in second place.
“HAH! Champion again.” Charlie folded his arms in triumph with a smirk on his face.
“Oh cmon, you had the better controller! I swear this one’s got drift problems!!” Pim teasingly pointed at Charlie, whose face completely drained of colour.
WRONG HAND!!!!!!
“JESUS CHRIST PIM!!! WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR HAND!!!”
Pim’s mistake hit him like a freight train. He was frozen at Charlie’s raised voice and paralyzed by his sheer stupidity. How hard would it have been to just raise his other hand??
Before he knew it he had completely burst into tears and flung his hands onto his face. He cried there for what felt like years before the other critter’s large hand touched his shoulder.
“You’re not okay, man. I wish you had told me something was up earlier, then we could’ve had a talk or hugged it out or something…”
Charlie got up, leaving Pim abandoned on an island with nobody out to notice him or even hear him for miles.
When suddenly, help arrived in the form of a blanket wrapping around his small body.
“Yeah, we’re not playing anymore.” Charlie grabbed the remote and switched the TV channel to the latest episode of Desperate Housewives before wrapping his best friend in his arms.
“You’re okay dude. You’re safe with me. You know you can tell me anything, right?”
Pim, still weeping, nodded against the larger critter’s chest.
“Good. We don’t have to talk, and I’ll stay the night if you don’t want to be alone. I’m gonna call in sick for both of us tomorrow and we’re just gonna watch this garbage and eat your comfort foods, okay?”
Pim nodded again, slowly opening his eyes to the TV screen.
Pim didn’t think he was worth all of this trouble.
“Hey. You’re worth it to me, dude.”