Chapter Text
-Mitsuba centric-
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As Kou held Mitsuba, Kou just one step away from the ledge of the building, glass shattered everywhere from the hole made earlier, he softly spoke..
“Do you want me to die..?”
A breath in
“Then I can be with you forever.”
Mitsuba looks up at Kou, tearing up when he sees his face. He looks so determined and genuine. Even though none of this place is real.. and he probably wouldn't die in real life.. a part of him feels that Kou still meant his words. Fake life or real.
And with that, Kou fell back, dragging Mitsuba with him off the building, falling story after story. While they drop Mitsuba looks at Kou, he's smiling when he shouts “we'll figure out how to become regular humans together. Okay Mitsuba!!?”
Breath out.
His head was empty.. ‘what just happened..????’
Suddenly he dropped back into reality and saw that they were getting closer to the ground. He tried to take control and steady the landing with his extended hand but it didn't work too well. He did save them though so he counted it as a win. they landed on some bushes, it hurt but..
They were alive.
Once they landed, Kou looked over in confusion and spoke. “what..?..” they meet eyes. “didn't you want me to stay forever..?” Though shock and confusion was all over his voice. There was even a sliver of sadness and disappointment when he realized he was still breathing.
All Mitsuba could think to do now is yell at Kou. Like what the hell was he thinking??!!
“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??”
“THAT FALL COULD'VE KILLED YOU, WERE YOU TRYING TO DIE???!”
“OR ARE YOU JUST STUPID AND DIDN'T KNOW THAT??”
There was a break in Kou’s voice. ‘Wait.. was he..?’ Until he started speaking up again.. Blaming me???
‘How does this kid always manage to start an argument even after something that probably left both of us scarred. Jesus this kid makes me wanna-’
His train of thought was cut off from Kou speaking again..
“I just..”
“I thought if I were in your shoes.. then I could understand you a little better..-”
…
There was silence.
“.. sorry.” Kou spoke
After that ark 😛
This is where is gets uncannon :3
-Kou centric-
Kou lays in his room, no lights on in the house but the moon sept through his spacious window illuminating the room with its cool glow. ‘Everyone in his household should be asleep by now but no doubt that Teru-nii is probably still up studying or something’ Kou looks over to an alarm clock on his bedside table ‘it’s only 10 so he should be heading to be in around 30 or less minutes, even still, with his schedule and the amount of work he’s put through, it’s slightly worrying that he goes to bed this late. If anything he should be the one to sleep early.’ Kou allows his thoughts to wonder on, getting distracted by things around him or other thoughts that pop up.. until his mind crosses that night with Mitsuba, and what was done and said.. Even though quite a while passed since that night.. It's still something he often thinks about. He was acting on impulse, not thinking much of the outcome. He lays on his bed thinking more about that day, what he'd done.
‘What if I died..? Would I stay as a spirit at school..?’
‘Would I get to stay with all of my friends and.. Mitsuba..?’ The thought of the pink headed ghost made his face heat up a little. There was an unspoken thing between Mitsuba and Kou, that they knew that they weren't exactly friends, but still wanted to be more, they both knew it would be best to leave it unsaid and unthought about. It would definitely complicate things and make things awkward. They knew they cared about each other so they didn’t want to ruin anything, this did not stop them from holding hands time to time
Kou grew up in quite a traditional family. He knew that they wouldn't be so kind if he'd decided to date a boy. A ghost boy at that. Plus.. he was alive. And Mitsuba was dead. There was something so wrong in that sentence.
‘Mitsuba isn't meant to be dead. He still feels alive.’
That has to be the wrong part of it.. or is Kou just not supposed to be alive..?
Kou considered this and goes back to the “what if I was dead.” Thing. He knew he didn't have much friends at school, they all thought he was weird. So most of his time is actually spent with senpai and number 7. Occasionally he'll get to see Mitsuba, but there was something going on and he didn't wanna look into it, he was also a little afraid of Tsukasa and with him around Mitsuba often, it wasn't in his best interest to visit or meet Mitsuba often. Kou also knew that Nene was going to die, everyone had learned that in the previous ark. So Kou concluded that if all of his friends would be dead.. why shouldn't he??
Kou freaked out by the conclusion, he was just thinking without actually thinking.
Did he really want to die?? I mean- he had his family, and there isn't even a 100% that he'd stay at the school once he passed. A quiet voice in the back of his head asked.. Was that even what he wanted.? To stay?
He thought. And thought. All night.
He was so lucky it was Saturday and tomorrow he didn't have to go to school.
He wouldn’t be sleeping much tonight after the morbid thoughts trailed his mind. He felt he needed to think more about all of this, he was honestly considering it after all. By the end of the night he concluded that the only things stopping him from having a certain plan were 3 things. 1. he’s an exorcist. This is basically against everything he knows. He can’t just go away and become the enemy 2. Mitsuba and Hanako. They definitely wouldn't want him to die. ‘I know that they value life a lot and Mitsuba would do anything to get it back, bet they’d be almost offended that I’d just throw it away like this.’ And 3. His family. The chance that Kou stays at the school, he'll have to deal with Teru-nii. His older brother would exorcize him, and his younger sister would miss him. He'd miss his Tiara the most.
At the same time. Creeping in the back of his mind, he knew his family wouldn't care as much as he'd ever wish. Once he's dead and living as a spirit, they'd kill him. It didn't matter if they had known him previously, they would kill Kou. He also knows that he’s really bad at being an exorcist, a lot of his family push him away, implying that he'll never be a true Minamoto because of that. He's a disgrace, a disappointment, the weakest link on the chain of great. Kou is aware of all this, maybe that's why he's really considering becoming a ghost. He's unhappy. He doesn't find meaning in his life as an exorcist and without that, he'll be disowned. He knows it's coming, it's been mentioned to him by relatives, by grandparents, and even by Teru. He's been warned what would happen if he were to fail, if he were to go off, away from his family.
Kou knew he wasn't good enough but he still had to try so that he still had family. He still remembers a time where being an exorcist was all that he wanted to do, no matter how many times he failed, or how many times he was told to quit. But now with his friends, he's found his own family, one that he truly is willing to fight for. One that he's willing to die for.
Kou knew what he wanted. He knew where he dreamed to be. The road to get there was depressing and quite frowned upon but he didn’t care.
Kou wanted to kill himself whether he became an apparition or not. He knows there’s nowhere in his life to go after he failed too many times and was kicked out. He was just speeding up the process.
Soon he heard Teru-nii from the hallway shouting for him. Confused, Kou looked at his alarm clock and noticed that it was already 5:30 am, right when Teru-nii woke up to start his day. He hadn’t realized the sunrise just beside him out the window. He hadn’t gotten the bittest of sleep!
Teru-nii called for him again “Kouuuu! I’m hungry, can you come make me something!!” He dragged on his name like a whiny child. Kou felt that if he didn’t go and make the older Minamoto food, he’d try to make it himself and the fire department would have to be called. ‘Maybe there were a few reasons to live. But not enough to stay..’
Kou made a few pancakes for Teru and himself, keeping a few for later when her majesty -Tiara- woke up. And just like that, his older brother left the door and started his day, wandering to who knows where. Kou didn’t bother learning too much about specific details of what Teru-nii did every day. So he just let him leave as Kou shut the door and dragged himself to bed, feeling finally tired after what felt like an eternity of a night.