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The fire crackled with a series of satisfying snapping and popping as Alicent tossed yet another piece of wood into it. She desperately longed to feel any type of warmth, needing to escape from the dampness of her chambers that embedded itself into her bones.
She never liked Dragonstone, for the castle was cold and damp. Constant darkness lingered in its halls that no amount of fire could chase away.
Alicent shivered as she scooted closer to the fire, holding her hands out, rubbing them together. Her fingers were cold, her joints stiff and it hurt to pull her damp hair over her shoulder to try and get them dry.
She cursed herself for not bringing her cloak with her, only arriving wearing one of her servants' dresses, not wanting to be recognised. The cloak she wore instead had been torn and left in the dungeon cell where she had been thrown the day she crossed the Bay.
The dress she was wearing now was black, presumably one of Rhaenyra’s old dresses. It was made of soft silk yet it was a simple black gown.
Alicent longed to wear blue again. She longed for the safety and security it brought her, the memories of a happier time. She longed to be free of the colour green and longed never to see it again.
“Oh,” Alicent’s head snapped up at the sound of the other voice.
“My apologies, I didn’t know anyone was here.” Rhaenys stood at the door, dressed in her riding gear. She was holding her gloves in one hand and picking on a knot in her hair with the other. Her silver locks were a mess, full of knots, her usual updo was coming apart.
”No, no,” Alicent stumbled a little as she stood up, her legs numb from sitting on them for so long. “I should go.” The Dowager Queen rubbed her hands as she made her way towards the door. She knew her presence was not welcomed, not even by the Queen Who Never Was, but still she wished she was allowed to stay longer by the fire. She wasn’t looking forward to going back to her chambers.
“Alicent,” Rhaenys held a hand out, placing it flat against the redhead’s stomach, stopping her just as Alicent was about to pass her. The way her name rolled off of Rhaenys’ lips made her shiver. “Stay. I just wish to warm up a little. It has been a long night and it is even colder outside.”
Alicent nodded and took a step back, slowly finding her way back to the spot she was sitting before. However, instead of sitting back, she stood next to the fire, unsure of what to do. Rhaenys, out of all people, was the least fond of her, or so she guessed. She still remembered trying to get her to bend the knee to Aegon. She remembered the look on her face as Alicent stood between Meleys and Aegon. The older Targaryen made no effort to say two words to her since she came to Dragonstone, in fact, she had seemed to go out of her way not to breathe the same air as Alicent.
”I can hear you thinking,” Rhaenys spoke, pulling Alicent from her thoughts. The older woman had settled down by the fire, sitting back on her knees as she tried to undo her hair. “Your thoughts are very loud.” The knots were annoyingly stubborn and without seeing them properly, Rhaenys struggled. She let out an annoyed huff and pulled on them, followed by a painful hiss.
Alicent shifted from one leg to the other. She wanted to help but wasn’t sure it was needed or even welcomed. But as Alicent watched as Rhaenys continued to struggle, she kneeled down in front of her.
“Let me,” she said, her voice barely a whisper as she reached out with both hands, waiting for permission to touch Rhaenys’ hair.
Rhaenys looked at Alicent for a moment before bowing her head, deep enough for Alicent to be able to reach where her hair knotted.
Alicent’s fingers were shaking as she worked the knots, detangling them as gently as she could, afraid of hurting the woman. The silky strands were stubbornly sticking together, rough from the icy wind.
”I-I can’t get to them properly,” she said, dropping her hands in her lap. Rhaenys looked up at her and nodded. She shifted then turned around, her back to Alicent before sitting back on her knees again.
Alicent resumed pulling the knots apart, working in silence. Her fingers were faster and smoother now that she had a full view. A few minutes later, the last knot was undone and Rhaenys’ long hair was as smooth and soft as ever. Alicent could comb her fingers through it without running into resistance.
“Do you want me to braid your hair?” She asked, a little hesitant.
“Do you know how to braid?” Rhaenys asked, glancing over her shoulder. Alicent nodded, then began to twist small locks of hair, knowing the way Rhaenys always wore it by heart. She had looked at her enough times to be able to memorise the tiniest details about the Targaryen.
“Aemma taught me how to braid so I could do Rhaenyra’s hair. She let me practice on her own hair.” She spent hours doing both Aemma and Rhaenyra’s hair. Alicent’s heart ached at the memory of the late queen. She had loved Aemma dearly. She was always kind to her.
Silence fell over them as Alicent braided and twisted the top part of Rhaenys’ hair and Alicent found it comforting. It seemed that there was no need for words, the steady snapping of the fire was relaxing them both.
“Tell me about flying,” Alicent spoke suddenly.
Rhaenys let out a small laugh.
“Why do you want to know?” She asked, looking over her shoulder.
Alicent thought for a second as she pinned a twisted section on top of Rhaenys’ head, her eyes focused on the way her fingers moved.
”Do I need a reason? Don’t move,” Alicent shot back, twisting Rhaenys’ head so she would face away from her. “I just do.”
Rhaenys scoffed but said nothing, instead she focused on the feel of Alicent’s fingers in her hair.
“What is it like to fly?” Alicent asked again, braiding a long strand of silver hair.
Rhaenys thought for a moment.
“It’s exactly what freedom feels like,” closing her eyes, she started, her voice sounding far away, her mind lost in memories of all those moments she spent soaring through the sky on Meleys. “It’s indescribable really. It’s like you are one with the sky. The wind, the clouds, you are all part of it. The cold air on your face is like a lover’s touch, gives you life. Being up in the sky is like being home, the waves of adrenaline in your veins makes you feel so incredibly alive, you feel immortal. Like nothing could ever kill you. The joy you feel is intoxicating. It’s all yours to claim and when you’re riding on a dragon you’re connected in a way you can’t fully explain. You’re weightless. It’s like being in love.” She turned her head slightly.
”Have you ever been in love, Alicent?”
The question caught the younger woman by surprise and she needed a moment to compose herself. Her thoughts briefly wandered back to Rhaenyra, wanting to take her for a ride on Syrax all those years ago. She wanted to but was too afraid. Too afraid to fly.
”No. I can’t say I have,” she tugged on the braid she had just finished, wrapping it around the section she pinned down just before. Rhaenys hummed and turned back away from her.
“Then you won't know or understand until you experience it for yourself.”
”What?” Alicent chuckled humorlessly. “Flying or being in love?” She reached past Rhaenys to drop the comb in her lap and as she was pulling back, the woman caught her wrist. She held onto her as she turned her body around, fully facing the Dowager Queen.
”Both,” Rhaenys’ voice was barely a whisper and Alicent’s breath got caught in her throat. The intensity in Rhaenys’ eyes made her shift nervously, her stomach twisting into knots. The feeling was unfamiliar but not unpleasant. It made Alicent want to flee the room but she found herself unable to break eye contact.
“Tell me….” The redhead swallowed and licked her lips. “Tell me about Meleys.”
Rhaenys tilted her head slightly. A loving smile graced the Targaryen Princess’ lips at the thought of her beloved dragon.
”Meleys and I are one. I have been riding her for decades now. She’s my soulmate. She’s dear to me in ways I can’t describe.”
Alicent smiled at the way Rhaenys was talking about Meleys.
”I wish someone spoke about me as fondly as you do of your dragon.” Sadness danced on Alicent’s features but Rhaenys couldn’t help but chuckle at Alicent’s remark, amused by the young woman’s honesty. She let her eyes roam over Alicent’s features, her big, brown eyes and her long, red hair that reminded her of Meleys’ scales.
“You’re a very lovely woman, Alicent,” Rhaenys said, her voice soft. “I’m sure there is someone out there who thinks you’re just as charming as Meleys.”
Alicent shook her head and made an attempt to pull her hand free but Rhaenys held her firmly. Her slender fingers wrapped around her dainty wrist securely.
“There is no need to tell lies, Princess, rest assured, no one thinks warmly of me.”
Rhaenys frowned at the sadness in Alicent’s voice. She could tell the young woman desired to be loved.
Alicent looked away, the orange glow of the flames casting shadows across her face.
“I better go back to bed. I’m sorry I have kept you for so long, you must be tired, patrolling for hours.” Alicent stood up but Rhaenys was still holding her wrist, gently caressing her skin with her thumb. She remained on her knees, looking up at Alicent.
”I told no lies, Alicent,” Rhaenys lifted her hand to her lips and kissed her palm. It was light as a feather, and if Alicent hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, she wouldn’t have known it ever happened.
But she had seen it and felt it and it made her heart skip a beat.
Rhaenys stood up, too, and tucked a stray of red hair behind her ear. She slowly leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Alicent’s cheek. Rhaenys let her lips linger on Alicent’s skin for a moment longer and the younger woman held her breath.
”Goodnight, sweet Alicent,” Rhaenys let go of her hand and only when the woman left the room did Alicent dare to breathe again.