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The rising full moon had found Alicent in her bed.
She had not returned to the room where the fireplace was since her conversation with Rhaenys almost two weeks ago. The redhead had desperately craved to be close to the fire again, to hold her frozen fingers as close to it as possible, to feel the burning sensation on her skin, but she was scared.
Scared of running into Rhaenys, scared of having to face the flames of uncertainty that burned inside her whenever her thoughts wandered to the Targaryen Princess. If Alicent was being honest with herself, she wasn’t sure what she was feeling either.
The bittersweet feeling in her stomach had not left since that night. Infact, it became stronger whenever she caught a glimpse of Rhaenys. Alicent did her very best to ignore it but the task proved to be almost impossible, much so that it made Alicent avoid the places she knew Rhaenys would appear.
Her chambers were dark and damp and a shiver ran through her body as Alicent pulled the blanket she was given tighter around her body. She was so cold she could barely feel her toes or control her trembling hand as she rubbed her tired eyes. Her fingers were freezing and Alicent twisted the sleeves of her nightgown around them in an attempt to try and warm them up, squeezing her hands between her thighs.
Sevens help her, she hated Dragonstone.
The redhead closed her eyes and willed herself to fall asleep, or tried to, however she wasn’t so lucky. There was a leak somewhere and the water drops fell so stubbornly, making Alicent feel like she wanted to rip her hair out if she heard any more of that dripping sound.
Drip, drip, drip.
Finally, she gave up. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she sat up and ran a hand through her hair. Her body cried out for the fire she knew was alive and burning in the room on the other side of the castle but Alicent resisted it. She knew Rhaenys would be coming back from patrolling and she didn’t want to risk running into her.
Drip… drip… drip… the water dripped slower this time and Alicent felt herself slowly losing her mind. It was mocking her, she was sure.
The Dowager Queen huffed as she laid back down, hugging her pillow to her chest, determined to warm up somehow, one way or another. She pulled the blanket over her head, hoping to block the sound of the fat water drops falling into the puddle she knew was already forming. She could hear it. Was it even raining outside or was it the castle driving her slowly mad? She heard stories of Harrenhall being haunted, cursed even, but never about Dragonstone. Was she being haunted or was it just her tired mind playing games with her?
Suddenly, the sound of the door opening reached her ears and Alicent’s body tensed. There was someone in her chambers.
”May I ask what it is that you’re doing?” The amusement in Rhaenys’ voice was unmistakable and Alicent pulled the blanket off her head.
“It is cold,” she responded matter of factly. The redhead sat up and pulled the sheets around her shoulders.
Rhaenys stood at the door, this time wearing black leather trousers and a long black coat. Alicent’s eyes roamed her slender body quickly, taking in the way her clothes hugged her so perfectly. Her hair was in a perfect braid this time, pulled away from her face in a similar manner to the one Alicent had done for her just days ago.
“How can I help you Princess? It is the middle of the night.” She felt foolish for pointing it out but in her defence, she was confused by Rhaenys’ presence in her room, in such late hours.
“Why, I’m taking you for a ride,” Rhaenys shrugged as if it was the most mundane thing ever and Alicent barked out an ugly laugh. Such an unladylike sound, so unlike a Queen, but she couldn’t help herself. Her ice cold fingers and numb feet were forgotten for the time being, the ridiculousness of the situation occupying her thoughts.
Rhaenys just looked at her and waited.
”Surely, you are not serious.” When Rhaenys stayed silent, Alicent realised the older woman, in fact, was not joking. “Rhaenys, I can’t ride a dragon!” Alicent was so dumbfounded that she involuntarily dropped all formalities but Rhaenys didn’t seem to mind. She particularly enjoyed her name on Alicent’s lips. “Meleys won’t let me ride her.”
“Since when are you an expert on dragons?” Rhaenys tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, the corners of her lips curling up slightly. “They are willing to take another person as long as their rider still mounts them.” The Princess walked over to the bed and held out a cloak. “I brought you this.”
In the pale moonlight Alicent saw that it was yellow. She took it in her hands and unfolded it. A crowned black stag was embroidered on the back and Alicent looked up at Rhaenys, her eyes silently questioning.
”It was my mother’s. She was a Baratheon.”
Alicent nodded as she ran a trembling hand over the fabric, her fingertips tracing the pattern gently. The stag was the Baratheons’ sigil. The redhead rubbed the material between her fingers, feeling its softness, analysing the situation while doing so.
”Come now,” Rhaenys turned towards the door, walking with purpose. “We don’t want to keep Meleys waiting.”
Against her better judgement, Alicent scrambled to her feet, pulling her boots up and quickly followed Rhaenys. The cold had finally caught up with her and she hurriedly draped the cloak over her shoulders, pulling it around her body. It smelled like Rhaenys, sweet and warm and she couldn’t help but bury her face into the soft material as she slid her arms into the sleeves.
“Rhaenys, I don’t think this is a good idea,” Alicent protested weakly as Rhaenys opened the door and walked out. “They will punish me if I get caught,” she whispered, looking around worriedly.
”I won't let them,” Rhaenys said over her shoulder as she kept marching through the dark hallways of Dragonstone. She reached back and wrapped her fingers around Alicent’s hand as if to reassure her.
‘I won’t let them.’ It sent a wave of warmth over Alicent and she hurried to catch up with Rhaenys as she pulled her behind her. The woman was taller than her and she took faster and longer steps while Alicent had to increase her speed to be able to keep up with her.
That made Rhaenys smile slightly.
The cold air hit Alicent’s cheeks as soon as they stepped outside and once again she wished she brought her own cloak with her. While the one Rhaenys gave her was warmer than the one she did bring, she still felt the bite of the cold night, its teeth sinking into her warm skin.
They walked in silence for a while, Rhaenys leading the way and Alicent following her with her eyes wide, looking around. She expected the guards to come out of the shadows and drag her back to her chambers, or worse, to the dungeons but Rhaenys’ words echoed in her ears.
I won’t let them.
Alicent believed her. As long as she was with Rhaenys, she was safe.
They kept walking until they finally arrived at the beach. Alicent saw Meleys waiting patiently next to a huge stone, watched as Rhaenys marched towards her, and dread washed over the young woman. Meleys seemed to be in a peaceful slumber, laying on her front with her wings spread out. The redhead remembered how small she felt standing between Aegon and Meleys, how scared she was and how powerless all of them were against the great she-dragon. Rhaenys could’ve burned them right there and then and the thought of how easy it would’ve been to do it made her shiver. All it took was one word and she wouldn’t be there to walk around with Rhaenys at that moment.
Or was this how the princess planned on correcting her mistake? Did she bring her here to feed Alicent to her dragon? Don’t be ridiculous, Alicent scolded herself, suddenly feeling silly.
After Aegon’s coronation, she hoped to never see Meleys ever again and now she was about to get on her back. This was absurd.
Suddenly, a thought struck the younger woman.
“Rhaenys,” she stopped abruptly. She could get used to addressing the princess by her first name. It felt… natural. It seemed they were past the formalities now.
Alicent’s brown eyes took in Rhaenys’ outfit. “I don’t have riding clothes.”
Rhaenys stopped too and turned around, her hazel eyes taking in the white nightgown Alicent was wearing underneath the yellow cloak. Her eyes lingered on Alicent’s exposed collarbones before finally moving up to her cold bitten cheeks. They were flushed, soft red brought out by the chilled air. Rhaenys fought the urge to soothe the irritated skin with her fingers.
The intensity in the older woman’s eyes made Alicent squirm, shifting awkwardly from one leg to the other. She didn’t know why Rhaenys suddenly made her feel like her own skin was too tight on her, like she couldn’t breathe properly until she tore her way out of it. The way the princess looked at her made her feel exposed and vulnerable. It terrified her but excited her at the same time and she found herself unable to look away from Rhaenys’ eyes.
“I have ridden Meleys in night attire before, it’s not like you will be doing it alone,” Rhaenys scoffed when she finally turned her attention back to Alicent. “You are looking for excuses to not do it. Don’t you want to know what it feels like to fly?” The princess stepped closer to Alicent and gazed down at her.
Alicent swallowed, her eyes flickering towards Meleys. She couldn’t help the fear that was spreading around her body, beginning to paralyse her very being. Had she always been scared of the dragons? Alicent tried to search her mind of a time when she felt this way being around Syrax but couldn’t remember. Had she ever been close to Rhaenyra’s dragon at all or was she always observing from afar? Was it only Meleys she was terrified of or was she just used to being around Syrax alone?
“Alicent,” Rhaenys’ voice snapped the redhead out of her thoughts. She registered the woman calling her name but couldn’t tear her eyes away from Meleys. It was like the Red Queen was a magnet and Alicen was unable to fight the pull.
“Alicent, look at me.” When Alicent didn’t move, Rhaenys grabbed her chin and gently forced her to look at her.
The skin on her fingers felt rough on Alicent’s chin and yet Alicent wanted them to caress her, to touch her more. For a brief moment the Dowager Queen wondered what the reason was when each time she saw anyone ride a dragon, they always wore gloves.
“Don’t you want to know the closest feeling of being in love? Of falling in love?” The words fell out from the princess' lips and Alicent’s eyes stayed focused on them as they moved before shifting to look into Rhaenys’ eyes. She could only nod her head yes, not trusting her voice to work.
”Then fly with me,” Rhaenys said, her voice barely a whisper as she gently caressed Alicent’s skin with her thumb.
Rhaenys remembered when Daemon said the exact same thing to her. It was spoken as a command but now these very same words held so much intimacy, sparking something neither of them were sure they were ready to explore further.
“Fall in love with me,” Rhaenys added softly after a moment. She didn’t know where all these feelings about the young Hightower woman came from, but they were there, whispering in her mind, pulling her in deeper.
The Dowager Queen felt like the air had been sucked out of her body at Rhaenys’ words. Unable to look away, Alicent managed to nod once again. She felt like she was under a spell, like the whole world had disappeared and Rhaenys was the only thing left of it all.
Meleys, Dragonstone, the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks and the moon had all ceased to exist. Only Rhaenys and her gentle touch remained.
The princess’ lips curled into a smile and she let go of Alicent’s chin to take her hand instead.
“Come then,” she stepped back, pulling the younger woman with her. Alicent let herself be guided to the sleeping dragon, her fear somewhat under control as long as Rhaenys held her hand.
“Naejot māzīs, Meleys!” Rhaenys spoke, her High Valyrian smooth as silk on Alicent’s ears. She had no idea what the woman just said but she watched as Meleys grumbled, took a deep breath and let it out, blowing sand all over. The dragon lifted her head then pushed herself off the ground, shaking her whole body before letting out a small shriek. It was neither threatening nor frightening, more like a small cry of happiness of a dog who was relieved to see their owner every morning.
As Meleys crawled over to them, Alicent took a step back but Rhaenys tightened her fingers around her hand.
“Don’t be afraid,” Rhaenys squeezed her hand softly. “She won’t hurt you as long as I’m here.”
Alicent whimpered, wanting nothing more than to go back to her bed. She didn't even care that it was so cold she might as well have slept outside.
The redhead could feel each step the dragon took, vibrating through her body, fuelling the fear in her chest.
This was a bad idea, she thought but it was too late. Meleys was right in front of her, her hot breath blowing her hair in her face. Her hand trembled as she swept her hair away from her cheeks, her eyes wide as she stared up into the eyes of the dragon.
”She’s harmless, I promise,” Rhaenys pulled Alicent’s hand gently, willing the younger woman to get closer and Alicent reluctantly took a step forward. “Would you like to touch her?”
”Not particularly,” Alicent whined pathetically, her eyes never leaving Meleys’.
“Alicent,” Rhaenys sighed and turned to face the redhead. The princess reached up and cupped Alicent’s face, caressing her cheek with her thumb.
“Nothing will happen to you, not as long as you’re with me.” The words were whispered so softly that Alicent had to strain herself to hear them.
“Why do you want me to do this?” Alicent asked, gazing into Rhaenys’ eyes. How did she never notice how gentle and kind they were? Too busy usurping the throne, perhaps.
Another sigh escaped Rhaenys’ lips as she looked away.
Why did she want to share this with Alicent?
Truth be told, she had no idea. She didn’t know why she craved to take Alicent flying, why she felt the urge to share the most exquisite feeling in the world with the Dowager Queen of all people. She just wanted to.
”Because I-“ Meleys let out an impatient huff as she waited and Rhaenys smiled at the dragon fondly. “Because I want you to know what it’s like to fly. Flying on a dragon’s back is one of the most incredible and rewarding things ever and very few people can ever experience it. But I want you to.”
Alicent nodded, digesting the words. Rhaenys didn’t really answer her question but whatever reason the older woman had it awakened something warm inside her, knowing Rhaenys had no real motive apart from simply wanting to.
“Why not Corlys?” Alicent asked softly. She took Rhaenys’ hand from her face and held it in her own.
”Corlys has no taste for flying.” Rhaenys reached out with her free hand and placed her palm flat against Meleys’ nose. “And we aren’t on the best of terms right now.” The dragon closed her eyes, seemingly content for the time being. Alicent wished she could make the pain in Rhaenys’ eyes disappear, to take the sadness away from her voice. She wanted to know more, wanted to ask why would Corlys not want to fly with Rhaenys or why Rhaenys suddenly seemed heavy with sorrow but she restrained herself. She knew it wasn’t her place to ask, if the older woman wanted to, she would tell her.
Instead, she nodded again, looked at Meleys and her eyes fell on Rhaney’s hand. Swallowing hard, she slowly lifted her arm, her own hand trembling. She wanted to make Rhaenys happy, wanted to distract her from the pain that seemed to have settled over her shoulders.
The moment her fingers brushed against Meleys’ scales, Alicent drew in a sharp breath. The dragon’s scales felt like a cold armour. It was hard to the touch, tiny sharp spikes tickling her skin.
“Oh…” Alicent let out a soft sigh, not expecting the feeling to calm her. She expected fear, panic, doubt even, but all she met was almost an overwhelming amount of calmness washing over her. She inhaled again, pressed her hand against Meleys’ nose, right next to Rhaenys’, and let it out slowly. “This is incredible,” she whispered, her eyes fluttering close as she focused all her attention to the feeling of Meleys under her palm. The dragon was breathing steadily, slow intakes and slow exhales. The steady rhythm was almost lulling Alicent into a trance, her breathing syncing with Meleys’. She had no idea how it was possible, as the dragon’s lungs were so much larger than hers, it took Meleys longer to fill them and yet Alicent felt like she was one with the Red Queen, like they were breathing as one.
When had she felt this calm before? Did she ever? When was the last time she allowed her body to rest, her muscles to relax, her mind to quiet down? It had always been such a rush, so much chaos she was surrounded by but suddenly, in this moment, she realised that maybe she was the chaos herself. Or at least a part of it, if not the centre. This must’ve been how the eye of the hurricane felt, when everything around you was being torn into tiny pieces by the strength of the storm you helped to create yet you still allow yourself a moment to breathe.
Alicent rested her forehead against Meleys’ nose next to her hand, taking in everything she was feeling. She wanted to savour this feeling forever, to remember it, to carry it with her until her last day.
Time seemed to slow down as they stood next to each other, the silence stretching between them, only Meleys’ soft breathing broke the quietness of the moment. It was nothing she'd ever experienced, felt before. This was brand new and unique and it left goosebumps on her skin, awakening butterflies in her stomach. Alicent shivered, not from the cold, and smiled slightly when she felt a warm hand covering her own, gentle fingers caressing her knuckles.
“It feels amazing, doesn’t it?” Rhaenys spoke and Alicent noticed that her voice now sounded so much closer. In the quietness of the night, the princess’ voice embraced her.
She could almost feel the older woman’s presence behind her, warming her back. The redhead opened her eyes and looked back, finding Rhaenys standing so close, her head hovering over her shoulder, their faces almost touching. Alicent let her eyes sweep over those high cheekbones, the curve of her elegant nose, the shape of her eyebrows. If she leaned just an inch to the side, her lips would’ve grazed Rhaenys’ cheek.
“Yes, it does.” Alicent whispered, not taking her eyes off Rhaenys’ face. She didn’t only mean the dragon under her palm but also Rhaenys’ touch and they both knew it.
“Let’s not waste any more time.” Rhaenys said suddenly and gripped Alicent’s waist with one hand. The Queen sucked in a breath and held it in, not daring to let it out in fear of breaking the connection they seemed to share. But when Rhaenys gently pushed her towards Meleys’ side, she couldn’t help but let all the air out of her lungs. Fear dug its claws into her heart again when she realised she was about to get on the dragon’s back. She felt content just holding her palm against Meleys’ nose but climbing on her back? She forgot about that part.
“Rhaenys, I really don’t —“ Alicent began to protest but the older woman silenced her immediately with a hand over her mouth, shutting her up.
“No backing out.” Rhaenys murmured and swept her thumb over Alicent’s bottom lip. “We’re flying. No buts or excuses. Now, get on.” She took hold of Alicent's hand and led her closer to the dragon. The next moment, she let go of the Queen’s hand and grabbed her waist with her other hand too, lifting up the smaller woman. Alicent shrieked and instinctively reached out, grasping the saddle rope that was hanging from the collar that ran around Meleys’ neck.
“Put me down!” Alicent commanded but her voice sounded weak, no authority in it. “I’m your Queen, put me down now!” In any other circumstances, Alicent would’ve laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation, but now she was panicking. Sweat formed on her temples and she rubbed her head against her sleeve.
“You’re Queen Consort. Not even that anymore, Dowager Queen at best, your son sits on the throne. Now pull yourself up.” Rhaenys spoke up, her voice carrying a small amount of bitterness at the mention of Aegon and Alicent felt ashamed. Rhaneys, however, moved on, not caring that she was literally throwing the Queen onto her dragon’s back. Alicent did as she was told, her feet finding support as she hoisted herself up into the saddle with the help of the buckles attached to it. Meleys growled and made a move to stand up but Rhaenys murmured something in High Valyrian. Alicent didn’t understand what the older woman said but it seemed to calm the dragon long enough for Rhaenys to climb up and sit behind her. The seat was barely big enough for two people and once the older woman settled in the saddle, she pressed her front against Alicent’s back, her arms circling around the Queen’s body. Alicent involuntarily held her breath, not daring to move a muscle. It’s all she ever seemed to do around Rhaenys. Scared to breathe, scared to move. She watched as Rhaenys’ fingers worked swiftly as she organised the reins and buckles but Alicent could not see the method behind the madness. She was sure there was a system in place but she just could not figure out the role of the buckles, reins and ropes or how they connected to Meleys.
“Don’t worry about these. You don’t have to do anything.” Rhaenys’ soft voice made its way into her thoughts, as if she could read them.
“I don’t,” Alicent responded, not taking her eyes off Rhaenys’ hands. “I just don’t understand what all these things are.”
“That’s okay. Like I said, you don’t have to do anything.” Once the older woman finished with sorting Meleys and everything was in their right place, she began to gently gather Alicent’s hair in her hands.
“What are you doing?” The words were shaky as they left Alicent’s lips, each time Rhaenys’ fingertips grazed her neck a shiver ran down her spine.
“I don’t want your hair on my face. The wind will be sharp up there, I need to be able to see where we’re going.” Rhaenys’ fingers worked just as easily in her hair as they did on the reins and Alicent let her eyes flutter close as her hair was being braided into a single fishtail braid.
“Has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful hair, hmm?” Rhaenys leaned closer, pressing her front against Alicent’s back. “It’s so long, don’t ever cut it off.” The words were said with such tenderness and warmth that all Alicent could do was nod.
“There, done,” Rhaenys lovingly ran her hand down on the thick braid she had done, tied with a piece of rubber on the end. She had always loved doing Laena’s hair, loved the tight curls that fell down past her shoulders. She loved to play with those locks and loved combing her fingers through them when her little girl was sleeping, or simply just resting in her lap. A sad smile stretched across Rhaenys’ lips at the memory of her daughter and she was grateful Alicent couldn’t see it. She didn’t want to ruin this unique experience for her with her tears. However, when she remembered back to when Alicent touched her hair, how carefully she undid the knots and how lovingly she styled it, a small smile appeared on her face, chasing the sadness away from her features.
“Are you ready?” She asked and placed a small kiss on Alicent’s cheek. The action was so random, yet it felt so natural and it surprised both of them, Alicent more than Rhaenys but neither of them addressed it nor did they mention the butterflies it awakened in their stomachs. Alicent couldn’t remember the last time anyone had touched her like this, firm yet so gentle and careful, or if anyone ever did at all. But Rhaenys was tender and ever so careful, where Alicent would normally expect pain and discomfort, there was nothing but comfort and warmth.
“No,” Alicent answered honestly and awkwardly moved her hands, not knowing what to do with them. Rhaenys took a hold of them and placed them on the front of the saddle, wrapping her fingers around the edge gently.
“Keep your hands there and hold on.” That said, Rhaenys reached behind her and pulled the belt attached to the back of the saddle around them, laying it gently against Alicent’s ribs, under her breasts. She wrapped her arm around the Queen, pulling her back even closer against her and buckled them into the saddle.
“This is so we don’t fall off.” Rhaenys explained, knowing well that the younger woman was wondering what was the need for the belt.
The next moment, Rhaenys leaned forward, pushing Alicent slightly into the saddle, and took hold of the reins. She cleared her throat and spoke up, her High Valyrian loud and clear against the silence of the night. Meleys let out a loud shriek and reluctantly rose to her feet. Alicent had to fight against the scream that was threatening to tear its way out of her, rippling through her body painfully only to be swallowed by the redhead. She was terrified to move, terrified to even make a sound.
Meleys eventually took a step, another, and another, falling into a steady rhythm as she prepared to take off, spreading her majestic wings wide open. Alicent’s heart dropped down to the pit of her stomach and she closed her eyes in fear of being sick if she as much as looked down. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the saddle, leaning forward so she could rest her forehead against the cold metal. She felt Meleys taking a few more steps before her movements changed. If she focused hard, she could have tricked herself into thinking that she almost felt the dragon’s muscles tense as she took off, lifting her body up in the air with Rhaenys and Alicent on her back.
The dragon soared through the sky effortlessly, almost as swiftly as an arrow, making Alicent more nauseous with every smooth dip and turn. Oh, how she wished she could be back on her bed, that Rhaenys had never come into her chambers and made her leave the only safe place she had in Dragonstone. She tried so hard to imagine she was back in her bed, just as cold as she was now, fighting to feel anything but numbness.
Icy wind bit into her body, its teeth sharp against her sensitive skin, whipping her hair that escaped the braid against her face. Why was she always so damn cold? Ever since she arrived at Dragonstone, she had not felt the luxury of warmth, except that one, brief time with Rhaenys. Her teeth chattered as her body began to shiver, her cheeks flushed, and Alicent could not stop herself from letting out a small whimper. Her heart thundered in her chest and her blood roared in her ears, drowning out anything that might have made a noise, including the howling wind. She barely even heard the sound of Meleys’ wings slicing through the air or the small shrieks she let out every now and then.
“Open your eyes.” Rhaenys whispered in Alicent’s ear, somehow her voice breaking through the drumming in her veins, her warm breath tickling the younger woman’s skin. Alicent shook her head violently, stubbornly keeping her eyes closed.
“What was the point of you coming along if you aren’t willing to see it?”
“Need I remind you that I didn’t come along willingly?“ Alicent gritted her teeth, still not daring to open her eyes. She felt Meleys ascending slightly before settling into a comfortable pace, slidind through the clouds.
There were no more turns, no more ups and downs.
Rhaenys let out a soft laugh and reached out to grasp Alicent’s chin with her hand. She gently turned the Queen’s head, smiling at how adorable Alicent looked with her eyes closed, her full lips pressed into a thin line, refusing to see the world passing by. Suddenly, she looked so young, so vulnerable and Rhaenys’ heart ached for the young girl who was forced to marry Viserys and grow up so fast. For a moment, Alicent wasn’t the Dowager Queen anymore, she was the young girl Rhaenys knew all those years ago. Before Viserys, before everything.
“What is the purpose of your face?” The older woman asked teasingly, keeping an eye on Meleys as well as on Alicent.
”I’m scared.” The confession was barely audible, but Rhaenys heard it. With how close their faces were now, the wind was not strong enough to overpower it, her deep voice reached Rhaenys’ ears easily.
“The worst is over. You have climbed on a dragon. Now enjoy the best feeling in the world. Not everyone gets to fly, Alicent.”
”I thought you said falling in love was the best thing in the world.”
“Not everyone gets to fall in love either.”
Those were the words that made Alicent open her eyes, scared brown meeting kind hazel ones. The anxiety and fear began to slowly disappear the longer she gazed into Rhaenys’ eyes and, eventually, she began to slowly turn her head. She fought the urge to close her eyes again, to shut everything out and pray to the Sevens for it to be over and done with as soon as possible. But the feel of Rhaenys behind her, her warm form against her back made her want to be brave. The thought of disappointing the older woman suddenly was overwhelming and unbearable.
A gasp left her lips as soon as Alicent looked down, her eyes widening at the sight beneath them.
For so long, Alicent watched the world go by from the walls of the Red Keep, wishing to be a part of it, wishing to have freedom. She always felt like the world was leaving her behind, trapped in invisible chains she had no way of getting out of, crushed under the weight of what she believed was her duty, desperate to make her sacrifice worth something, forcing herself to learn to be ruthless and cruel just to survive. Some of those chains she created herself, falling deeper into her mistakes with no guidance to find her way out of them. So she had accepted that the world would keep on moving on without her while she was slowly withering away.
But now, she was finally moving with the world, if not faster. It seemed like she was the one leaving everything behind, the taste of freedom finally making its way past her lips, settling on her tongue. The feeling was nothing she could compare it to, nothing it could possibly come even close to. The only good thing in Alicent’s life, truly good thing, was her mother’s love and even that couldn’t be compared to the feeling of flying with Rhaenys. It was beyond exquisite, so incredible that her brain couldn’t even begin to think of a word that could describe the experience. In that very moment, she fell in love with flying. It was simply ethereal.
A memory made its way into her head and she saw her younger self sitting in her mother’s lap, gazing up into Alerie’s eyes as she read stories to her. Sometimes she would share stories of her childhood while playing with her hair, caressing her face, and those were the moments Alicent cherished with everything she had in her, holding onto the last pieces of her mother.
The Queen often wondered where she would be if Alerie was still alive. If she had been with her… would she be Queen today? Would her father still plot to marry her to Viserys? She wondered if her mother would have stopped it or if she agreed to the plan. Alicent liked to think she would have been free to marry whoever she wanted, married for love, married by choice not because of duty and her father’s scheming.
A long sigh left Alicent’s lips as she remembered where she was.
The full moon casted a veil over the world, bathing it in silver. Alicent’s eyes struggled to take in the view that raced past them as Meleys soared through the sky, her fingers gripping the saddle as she leaned to the side to peer over the dragon’s shoulder.
In the dark, the rough landscape became one big blur and Alicent’s stomach did a strange little dance, her heart beating out of rhythm, colliding painfully with her ribs at how high up they were. A second later, the view shifted and, instead of the rocks and woods, there was now the silver coated sea underneath them, the moonlight dancing on the soft waves, bouncing off of the surface of the water. The Queen struggled to breathe as she stared at the view, her eyes slowly moving to take in the dragon too. She watched as the muscles in Meleys’ neck, moving smoothly underneath the thick scales. It was more mesmerising than anything else.
“Look up.” A whisper against her ear startled Alicent and she instinctively did as she was told. The moon was directly above them and Alicent’s breath hitched. She had seen the moon many times before, from her window during sleepless nights, but she had never seen it like this. It seemed even fuller, bigger, brighter, more captivating. Its soft, silver halo surrounded the moon perfectly, giving it a ghostly pale look and Alicent suddenly felt the urge to reach out as if she could grab it. She wanted to touch it, to feel the moonlight on her skin and to be able to capture it forever. She wanted to bathe in it, soak it all in and never let it go. If only she could stay up here forever, with Rhaenys, staring at the moon, she knew she could be happy for the rest of her days.
Alicent did not know what had gotten into her when she slowly let go of the saddle and extended her trembling arms. She leaned back against Rhaenys slightly, finding support in her as her back pressed against her front. At that moment, Alicent trusted Rhaenys with her whole life. The older woman instinctively wrapped her arm around Alicent’s waist and pulled her even closer, resting her chin on the redhead’s shoulder. Alicent let out a soft laugh, a smile spreading across her face. So this is what freedom felt like, soaring through the sky on a dragon's back. Feeling the wind in her hair, the rush of adrenaline in her veins as fear was replaced by wonder and excitement.
The cold and the bitter wind, and her freezing fingers were long forgotten. Everything else ceased to exist. It was only her, Rhaenys and the world stretched out below them like a map that was waiting for Alicent to explore it.
“Do you know what day it is?” Rhaenys spoke again, sliding her arm from back around Alicent’s waist, resting her hand on the Queen’s stomach. She began to draw small circles with her thumb on the thin material, hoping to comfort the younger woman even more. Meleys’ shrieked slightly and made a sharp turn, making Alicent grab the saddle again, her heart jumping painfully in her chest. When the Queen shook her head no to Rhaenys’ question, the older woman chuckled softly. “It’s the day lovers celebrate their bond. Today’s the day they honour the love they share whether they had been lovers for years or a new love is blossoming between them.”
They were now circling back towards Dragonstone and as the seconds passed by, Alicent’s worries started to filter back.
“I wasn’t completely honest earlier when I said there was no reason why I wanted to take you flying. I did want you to experience flying but I also wanted to spend this night with you, to end this particular day with you.” Rhaenys turned her head slightly, her eyes studying Alicent’s side profile. She had always found the younger woman lovely, often drinking in her beauty and admiring her strength. Granted, Alicent was flawed to her core, unable to break away from the circle her father forced upon her. She had heard stories of Alicent making Rhaenyra’s life a misery while the princess stayed in the Red Keep, often humiliating Rhaenyra whenever she had the opportunity. She had even witnessed her fury in Driftmark the night Aemond lost an eye and remembered her desperate pleas to Viserys for crumbs of acknowledgement for his son. The older woman shielded Lucerys but couldn’t help and understand the pain Alicent was feeling too.
Rhaenys wasn’t blind, she saw the cruel ways Alicent had chosen to go down on, even judged the young woman herself, sometimes refusing to see beyond reason of why Alicent was the way she was. She refused to remind herself of the young girl who married the king because of her father’s ambitions to put his blood on the Iron Throne. The young girl who longed to be free, trapped by the plans of Otto Hightower.
Now, a woman grown, a Queen, Alicent seemed to accept her fate, the path she was forced upon. To Rhaenys, it seemed that only one thing mattered to Alicent, that her sacrifice and everything she had gone through wasn’t for nothing.
“I — “ Alicent took a deep breath and looked away. “I didn’t realise today was the day the Realm celebrated love.” Her heart skipped a few beats knowing it was her company Rhaenys craved on this special day.
“You never celebrated it?” Rhaenys asked and began to fumble with the reins, guiding Meleys back to Dragonstone.
”No, I never had a reason to.” The Queen said, a little sadly. She did not know what she was missing out on so she couldn’t be sad about it but now she suddenly felt like she had been left out of so many things. Viserys was never the romantic type, not with her, and Alicent never craved it. Not from the King anyways. What else has she been missing?
The rest of the journey was silent. Alicent enjoyed the closeness and Rhaenys’ arms around her as she observed the world below, taking in every detail, storing them into her memory. The fear was now fully gone and it was replaced by wonder and excitement. She was lost in the sight of the moon when Meleys landed and Rhaenys unbuckled them.
The older woman was the first to climb off of Meleys, landing on her feet smoothly. She turned back to the dragon and looked up to Alicent.
“Come on darling,” she said as she opened her arms. “I’m here to catch you.” She added and waited, watching Alicent as she slowly but steadily moved her leg over the saddle. Rhaenys noticed that her hands were trembling, whether it was from the effort of keeping herself from slipping or something else, she did not know. The Queen hesitated for one second before taking a leap forward, falling straight into Rhaenys’ arms. The older woman caught her, wrapping her arms around her waist, keeping her close.
“Did you enjoy flying?“ Rhaenys asked and gently caressed Alicent’s cheek with the back of her hand, grazing her knuckles against her cold bitten skin.
“Yes, I did.” Alicent nodded, not taking her eyes off of Rhaenys’ face.
“And, did you fall in love?” The wind blew a lock of red hair into Alicent’s face and Rhaenys tucked it behind her ear ever so gently. The temptation to close the distance between them was too strong and Rhaenys took a step closer, however, she refrained herself from doing more.
“I did,” the words left the Queen’s lips in a soft whisper and Rhaenys smiled. She let her hand travel down on Alicent’s arm and intertwined their fingers together.
“Come on, let’s get you back inside.” She began to pull the redhead towards the castle, walking slower this time, allowing Alicent to fall into a comfortable pace next to her.
“What about Meleys?”
“I’ll come back for her.”
Once inside, Rhaenys walked Alicent back to her room, pausing in front of her door. She hesitated, not wanting to leave Alicent just yet, not wanting the night to end.
“I’ll see you once the sun has risen, my sweet Alicent.” Rhaenys leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Alicent’s cheek. The redhead lowered her eyes, her cheeks warming up as she blushed, the redness crept up on her face slowly and smiled.
“I’ll see you then, Princess Rhaenys.” She responded, her voice quiet and gentle. Rhaenys returned the smile and took a hold of Alicent’s hand, lifting it to her lips and kissed her knuckles softly. Without another word, she turned around and walked away, leaving Alicent standing outside her chambers, wanting more of Rhaenys’ company, more of her warmth, more of Rhaenys.
Suddenly, she realised she was still wearing Rhaenys cloak and she lifted the material to her face, burying her nose in the material, inhaling the sweet scent that reminded her of Rhaenys.
With a sigh, she opened the door and walked inside, closing it behind her quietly. She didn’t take the cloak off as she climbed back in her bed and pulled the sheets over her body and Alicent realised that she was no longer cold.