Work Text:
Tim’s not sure how he found himself in this position, one minute he’s ready to spar with his new rookie Miles and the next Lucy is standing in front of him glaring at him. He stares back at her, a little confused.
“What are you doing?” He asks her. She adjusts her gloves and then looks back up at him.
“I’m ready to spar you.” She says. “Is that a problem?” And no it’s not usually a problem, when they were together they used to spar all the time and it usually ended up with both of them sweaty and ready to go home to do—more.
But they weren’t together anymore and they hadn’t sparred in months. And while Tim wouldn’t turn down any alone time with Lucy especially now he was still a little confused.
“It’s—why do you want to spar?” He asks her. She sighs and straightens up a little, her face softening slightly.
“I want to talk.” She says almost hesitantly. “And I don’t know how to ask you to talk—” She trails off and Tim frowns at her again.
It’s not like things haven’t been better between them because they had been. Tim had been paying her back slowly but surely. It was little things at first, things he knew she wouldn’t resist and then it was bigger things like giving her advice for her rookie or coming over to cook dinner. They were slowly making their way back to each other and Tim didn’t mind the pace, he just wanted to get their relationship put back together. And if it had to be slowly than so be it.
“We do talk Luce.” He says and he adjusts his gloves. Lucy shakes her head, and puts her mouth guard in.
“We do small talk Tim. I want to talk.” She says and he puts his mouth guard in too and crouches down a little. Lucy makes the first move but he blocks it easily, and she sighs stepping back taking out her mouth guard.
“I appreciate everything you have done for me Tim more than you will ever know. But if we get back together and we haven’t talk we will just be rolling towards not communicating again.” She says.
Tim sighs and she’s right—the reason they weren’t together anymore was because he pushed her away, he didn't communicate with her and it spiraled out of control. He takes his own mouth guard out and looks at her.
“You want to let it all out?” He asks. “Like this?” He waves his hand around the small space they were in, both of them in sparring gear.
“Yes.” She says. “And I want you to listen.” He nods and she puts her mouth guard back in. He does too and they spar for a minute each one taking a jab at the other. Tim blocks Lucy’s jabs easily, and she blocks his.
He finally gets a hit in and she steps back, taking her mouth guard out. “You made the decision for me Tim.” She says. He blinks at her as she puts her mouth guard back in and punches him, he blocks it but barely.
“You were so worried about me you didn’t even think about how I felt about this. You just made the decision and then acted like it was okay.”
“I know.” Tim says because if there’s only thing he regrets it’s what happened that night. He wasn’t planning on breaking up with her but—she had stood by him and he didn’t think he deserved that. He was so deep in the darkness, he didn’t think he deserved her love.
“You pushed me away, you lied to me and you broke our trust.” Lucy says taking another punch at him this time succeeding. “I thought you loved me, I thought our relationship meant more than just a cliche line of you deserve better.”
“I did. It does.” Tim says. “Of course it does. I do love you Lucy. I never stopped.” Lucy pauses and looks up at him.
“Then why did you do it?” She asks sounding vulnerable. “Why couldn’t you just talk to me?” Tim pauses too and swallows as he steps closer.
“I messed up.” He says. “I did. In so many ways, with Ray, with my job with you.” Lucy nods but doesn’t say anything so he continues.
“I was so deep in self loathing and self doubt I didn’t think someone as amazing as you could still love me and still want me.” He says. Lucy blinks at him and takes another punch at him.
“How could you even think that?” She asks. “I have always been there for you Tim. I’m not just going to leave you. I love all of you. All versions of you, but you have to let me love you.”
“I know.” He whispers. “I know. I’m working on it. Therapy.” He trails off a little. Lucy takes a deep breath and looks up at him.
“How is therapy going?” She asks. He shrugs his shoulders, he found a new therapist once again after Lucy told him not to give up. And it was hard at first opening up again wondering if this one was blackmailing psychopath. But it was also nice to be able to talk about everything freely again.
Lucy.
His dad.
Ray.
The military.
“It’s fine.” He says. “It’s hard but—” It was opening up more doors that he never even realized needed to be opened and talked about.
“I’m proud of you Tim.” Lucy says. She throws a punch again but Tim is ready and blocks it. He throws a punch but she manages to block it, and they go like that for a few minutes before Tim pauses. Lucy does too and lowers her gloves tilting her head at him curiously.
He steps closer and he can sees the sweat running down her face. Her chest is heaving a little too.
“Look.” He says. “I know this isn’t going to be solved in a day and with you throwing a few punches at me.”
“Deserved punches.” She says with a small smile on her face. He huffs out a laugh and nods. He probably did deserve that.
“But it’s a start right?” He asks. She takes another punch at him and nods. He relaxes a little and she strikes again. He doesn’t block it in time and she gets him.
“Just for good measure.” She says. He smiles at her and she smiles back. It’s not perfect but it was start.
And he realizes he’s down bad because he would do whatever it takes to get their relationship back on track.
***
“Do you want to spar again?” Lucy looks up to see Tim standing above her. She tilts his head at him curiously.
“You want to spar again?” She asks. Ever since they had sparred the first time, things had been less awkward and he had been opening up more. He was still going at her pace, but he was doing more and more.
And she wasn’t stopping him.
She was down bad for him, and she was going to get him back.
One way or the other.
She thinks they were at a place where they could talk again but this time without throwing punches at one another.
“Yeah.” Tim says bringing her out of her thoughts. His face falls a little. “Unless you don’t.”
“No.” She says quickly and his face lights up in a smile. “I always could use some time to kick your ass.”
He grins at her and leans closer, “Don’t be so cocky Officer Chen. It might come back to bite you.” He says and his voice is low and it holds a promise of something. She stands up and follows him out.
They get to the gym and get the equipment out. She pauses before she puts her mouth guard in and smiles at him.
“Are you ready?” She asks. “I can kick your butt Sergeant Bradford.” Tim rolls his eyes and puts his mouth guard in. They face off, Lucy throwing the first punch but Tim effectively blocking it.
It goes like that for awhile and she does get a few punches in when he least expects it.
He gets a few on her too, and then she pauses and wipes the sweat from her face.
“Give up yet?” Tim asks. She looks up to see him standing in front of her, smiling.
“You wish.” She mutters. Tim laughs softly and she smiles as he reaches over to tuck some hair behind hair ears.
It’s a small move but she freezes when his fingers brush against her skin. He must have realized what he just did because he steps back. “I’m sorry.” He says. “I didn’t—” But she shakes her head and moves closer to him and puts a hand on his chest.
She hasn’t been this close to him in months not since he walked away from her in the parking lot. She hasn’t felt his fingers on her skin, or his lips pressed against her forehead and her hanging on to him in a desperate attempt to keep him there with her.
She feels his heart pounding underneath her hand and she’s not sure who moves first but suddenly his are on hers and her body is pressed against his.
She pulls back only when it’s necessary and puts her head on his chest breathing him in. “That was—”
“I’m sorry.” He says again but she holds him in place before he can move away.
“Don’t ever apologize for doing that.” She says softly.
“Okay.” He says softly putting his finger under her chin. “Then how about this. I’m sorry for everything Lucy. I’m sorry for leaving you out, I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t—”
She cups his face in her hands and brings it down to her level. She’s not sure if it’s the adrenaline of the kiss or the fact that she feels lighter than she has in months. Maybe it’s the fact that she has the man she loves back in her space.
“We are gonna get through this. You just can’t give up so easily.” She says. “You have to promise me you won’t walk away again because I can’t do that again Tim. If we do this.” She motions between them. Her eyes on his face watching as the realization of what he is saying crosses his face.
She wants to try again—
She wants to make this work.
“I won’t.” He says softly. “Lucy, I don’t think I would be able to walk away from you again. I am trying and I want to do better.”
“I know.” She whispers and she has seen it. She has seen how far he has come since that night and even before then. She was so proud of him, and she was so proud to know him.
“I love you.” She says running her hand across his face. “I never stopped.”
“I love you too.” He says. “And I’m so sorry.” She smiles up at him and brings him down for a soft kiss. She knows he loves her, he said it when they first sparred and she believed it then and she believes it now.
“Stop apologizing Tim.” She says. “We will talk more okay?” He nods and she feels him relax a little.
She knows it’s not perfect yet, they still have to build that trust back and everything else they lost but she knows one thing remained the same.
Their love for each other.
“Okay.” He mutters. “But for now—” He takes her hand and they clean up the sparring equipment and then he leads her out of the gym.
It’s not perfect—
It might take awhile to get things back to where they were. And the might not go back but they could start anew.
But she knows it will be worth it.
Because she’s down bad for Tim and she’s pretty sure he feels the same.
And that was something she could live with.