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He told me his favorite color was purple, i told him that so was mine. He laughed when i told him such, he took one good look at me and replied “couldn’t have guessed.” his tone told me that this was a lie - i knew it was a lie - i always wore it. Purple wasn’t my favorite color up until that moment, now i see it everywhere and i love it. there’s a purple hue on many things, and Satoru will always remind me of such.
“Saw something purple and I immediately thought of you.” he would say and show me his phone with a smile. it could be anything from a small wildflower to a beautiful ceramic plate. He would bring me sweets with that color. they always seemed to have that distinctive taste of artificial grape. but i didn’t mind, in fact, i found myself liking it.
What a beautiful color that is, but I think he knows that purple is only my favorite color because it’s his own.
If it hadn’t been for him telling me his favorite color was purple, i would’ve said it was blue, to be specific, sky blue. there was only one reason; His eyes. Those beautiful sapphires that saw more than anyone could, i knew they saw me as a threat, that i was just a curse in a human disguise. but he could see past that, he could see my tender heart beating for him, he could see my pupils grow big whenever he crossed my way, he could see my lips try and sing to him a thousand ballads but all they could let out was a nervous and shaky “hello Gojo.”
He catches me watching the sky with a smile, looking at the water reflecting such a distinctive hue, sometimes i buy things with that color just for having that beautiful color - and sometimes i'm left with many of the same things in both blue and purple… hey! i guess that’s how we must look to others!
My heart can’t help but think of him. how could it not? he always managed to sneak into everything i saw, he was everywhere, he was my everything. And purple, I, was his everything.
“Oh! Heeeyy~” His voice ringed in my ears. When i turned to look i could see him and by his side there was this girl, Shoko’s her name. She asked me to join and i saw something i never thought to see; Gojo had a tall glass with a beverage a distinguishable hue of yellow, the foam at the top sticking to his upper lip as he moved the glass away from his mouth.
I sat by his side, i could feel the distance between the two of us both appearing and dissipating every now and then.
“Finally convinced Mr. Six eyes to have a drink with me.” She chuckled, she seemed to have a soft hue of pink over her cheeks, compared to whom my heart beat for as his face was more of a cherry red, what a familiar color, what a beautiful sight to see.
“TSK— you say it like we’ve never done this before.” His face had a soft frown, more like a pout, as he replied. he didn’t seem to be fully there and neither was Shoko.
“We have, ONCE.” She chuckled as she opened two bottles, she passed one to me and kept the other one to herself. I took a small sip and the bitter taste stuck to my mouth, and the could both tell such by the wince i showed. They watched me and chuckled and told me to keep drinking as eventually “you’ll get used to it and like it.” I wanted to trust them so… i did. I took a big sip out of the beer and tried my best not to spit it or burp after.
And so the night continued on.
They seemed to reminisce in the past, Gojo seemed to try and include me - though i wasn’t in those moments.
“Do you remember when we went to Okinawa?” The white haired asked me with such confidence i doubted myself. i didn’t go to Okinawa with him, in fact, I’ve never stepped foot in Okinawa.
“Oh come on! that mission was traumatizing.” he chuckled, he seemed in a slight pain but he still laughed. I never understood that about him. he laughed at his own pain, he always did.
“Gojo, think you’re confused.” Shoko talked as she flicked his forehead, leaning over the table and almost pushing my beer off the edge.
“Hah! the hell would i be!” he chuckled as he leaned over my shoulder, his blue eyes stared into into mine, he pulled my. hair down and played with it for a couple seconds.
“I know he was there, he was always pestering me, trying to get me to sleep and to get a moment of peace. i didn’t listen to him.” he chuckled and kissed my cheek, a smile pressing against my face as his arm wrapped around my neck and the other held him up the table.
“how could i forget that beautiful hair of his flowing on the wind, his serious looks trying to encourage me to rest…” He moved for a moment and pressed his forehead against mine, though only my eyes were open.
“…and those beautiful purple eyes that always seemed to charm me.”
Purple? my eyes aren’t purple though… they’re brown.
I think Shoko quickly caught up to my confusion, she cleared her throat and this made both of us turn to look at her.
“Hey. i wasn’t on that mission, remember?” She spoke up. Thanks to her he moved away and started talking about this insane mission “we” had gone on. he never talked about me by my name, always by something different and leaving me on the doubt of who he was talking about.
“I think i should leave.” I spoke up as i tried to getup only to feel a strong tug on my arm, i turned to look at him and he had a pout. that sweet pout that always convinced me to do whatever he asked… but he had to say something completely different.
“Come on, Suguru! we’re having fun like old times, remember?”
Suguru. he said it in such manner that my heart skipped a beat, he purred the name, he said it with such sweetness it felt like a knife covered in honey. Suguru. that’s who he was talking about.
Suguru Geto had purple eyes, i’ve seen enough pictures of him to know, he had long jet black hair and seemed to have such a sophisticated look, he had earrings with a purple gem in a couple photos, he seemed to always have something purple. a deep purple, never a lilac or a lavender, but a plum or indigo.
I didn’t want to stay, he made me feel like my heart had been ripped out my chest, softly kissed and then stepped until it was nothing but a crimson stain on what once was a pure baby blue canvas.
“…alrig-“ “Man, it’s late and i have work tomorrow.” Shoko interrupted, my savior, getting up the table and grabbing some sparkling water for the guy still holding onto my wrist.
“Drink this. we can talk tomorrow!” She smiled -a forced smile- as she walked out. Gojo glanced at the bottle and opened it before taking a drink out of it. it was my chance.
“i’ll see you tomorrow, Gojo.” I spoke as calmly as possible as i walked out the room, my heart stopped beating and his voice was all i could hear inside my ears, repeating another man’s name instead of mine.
Gojo broke my heart that night. seeing both blue and purple hurt my heart, so i took matters into my own hands; ripped the purple clothes off my body, threw into a box all those blue trinkets i got along the time, carefully packed all purple items into a box shoved deep into my closet.
The room was now black and white, with hints of other colors that sneaked into the room.
The next morning i saw Gojo, he seemed to not recall the previous night, he looked at me with such a smile that it pained me.
“Hey, you look naked without the purple part of your outfit!” he noticed almost immediately, i felt naked without it, i felt incomplete without it, without him.
“Gojo, my favorite color isn’t purple no more.”
“oh. i know! it’s blue, isn’t it?” he chuckled, he was making fun of me as we speak, he knew it wasn’t and he still played along. he knew it wasn’t purple, so why did he play along?
“Blue like my eyes—“
“No.”
“…what? thought you like light blue-“
“i don’t anymore.”
“then, what’s your favorite color?”
we stood there, facing each other. i had his heart in my hand, and he had mine, he destroyed mine the previous night and i could feel the fresh blood gushing out of his. The blood was smeared all around my hands, and so were his. the crimson red, the color of strength, passion, sex, love. the color of danger, rage, revenge and dominance.
“Red. it’s always been red. it was red before you came into my life and it was always red.”
“i… i couldn’t have guessed.” his tone was sincere, i knew it was sincere. it was filled with pain, a slight agony that he never expected to feel, not with me at least. All he did was… laugh. He didn’t chuckle or cackle, he forced such laughter that it was painful for the both of us.
“well, guess i’ll have to change various things.” he swallowed harshly as he turned around and walked away.
Now when i walk around, i see the color purple, it brings me nothing but indifference, so does blue, and so does Gojo.