Archive of Our Own

Death is a moment. A painful, suffocating and awful moment, but a moment nonetheless. And then it should be nothing. It should be nothing. But then Wei Wuxian wakes up. He actually wakes up. 

But no one notices it, everyone is paying attention to Lan-laoshi’s lesson and Wei Wuxian begins to wonder. Where am i? 

He is back in time, he realizes, when a quick look to his side reveals a much younger Lan Wangji, tiny but stoic as ever.

He can't do it. He's tired. Too tired to control his emotions, his reactions. So when he catches Jiang Cheng’s eyes he can do nothing but cry. He cries, he cries, he cries. He sobs so loudly, so hard, Lan Qiren is forced to stop the class to ask what is happening.

But Wei Wuxian can only cry harder at the question, tears streaming down his cheeks, screams barely caught inside his throat. Jiang Cheng’s moves to grab his face but the wail Wei Wuxian lets out scares him out of doing it. Because his family is gone, because the Wen died, because little A-Yuan died, because his shijie was murdered and it's his fault, because everyone hates him, because his life is a joke. Because he's back and he doesnt deserve it.

Surrounded by murmurs and questions and worrisome expressions, Wei Wuxian’s world turns black as he loses consciousness.

He doesn’t wake up until days later.

Waking up doesn't make it better. He refuses to eat, he doesn't talk, he won't look his brother in the eye. He doesn't move, and no one can confirm if he actually sleeps. Lan Wangji spends time at his bedside, he tries to talk to him to no avail, he plays music to help ease his condition—whatever that might be— but it's not working. And he feels helpless. 

One day, Wei Wuxian disappears. He’s made his decision. 

.

He is not wanted, he always thought so but now he was proof. But he loves these people so even if it destroys him, suffocates him, he will save them. He will give his shijie her happy ending, he will give little A-Yuan a chance to live and he will do it alone. It’s not necessary to rope people into this madness.

Escaping the Cloud Recesses is surprisingly easy, no one thinks the bedridden kid would have the strength to leave just yet, so using his knowledge in ghost cultivation (because they were wrong, there wasn’t anything demonic in Wei Wuxian’s cultivation) to bypass the security proved to be a piece of cake. And now that he has his golden core back —he has his golden core back— the use of this type of cultivation is much easier.

As Wei Wuxian leaves, he gives one quick last glance to the place. They will not miss me.

In truth, he didn’t have a plan. At most he had one: kill Wen Ruohan, Wen Chao, Wang Lingjiao and Wen Zhuliu and two: don’t let the innocent Wen die. As to how, he didn’t know.

What he did know is that under no circumstances he can go back to what he was before. He cannot insert himself into the cultivation world knowing at what lengths they’d go to keep themselves pure and innocent.

Maybe he’d be like his parents once everything is over, exploring the world with no strings attached, helping people because they deserve to be helped. Maybe he’d meet someone, maybe he could truly be like his parents and have a little traveling family. A flash of white appeared in his thoughts.

No, focus. There’s no time to think of nonsense.

Just as he reaches Caiyi Town, a hand stops him.

“Where are you going?” It is Wen Qing.

He doesn't answer her. For the last few days the only faces he saw were of his siblings, Lan Wangji and the Lan doctors. He didn’t dare ask them about the Wen siblings, but now she’s here and she looks good. Not half starved like the last time he saw her. She looks healthy, beautiful and alive.

He cries. 

And Wen Qing doesn’t know what to do. She’s a doctor first so when she saw him leave the infirmary she followed, intending to stop him, but she didn’t count into their differences in strength. She had just caught up with him and now he's crying at the sight of her.

“Wei Wuxian!” As she says his name, Wei Wuxian’s first thought is that she’s using her big sister voice, the one he’d seen her use many times with Wen Ning and even a handful of times with him. That makes him cry harder.

Wen Qing is not the affectionate or touchy type, but even she can acknowledge that there’s something more going with the guy. So she hugs him, actually hugs him, like she had done to Wen Ning when they were children. 

She calms him and waits until his hiccups are almost gone to question him. They are not hugging anymore.

“What is happening?” Wei Wuxian knows she is trying to be considerate by using a softer voice. 

“I don’t know if i can do it” He knows that’s not really useful as an answer but he’s still debating as to whether its best to outright tell her or continue to be vague.

“If you don't tell me i’ll sedate you and bring you back to the infirmary”

Well, here goes nothing.

“You died” Not a great start. As she goes to protest that she's obviously very much alive, Wei Wuxian shushes her. “Let me finish” He clears his throat, his voice feels weird after all the crying. “I don’t know what is happening, but up until a few days ago I was 20, living in the Burial Mounds with you and your family. Wen-popo, Uncle Four, and all the 40 or so other people that survived the war. And I’m so sorry Wen Qing, I really am. I promised I'd help them but I couldn't and you died, and Wen Ning died and all of the others died too. And I tried so hard but I couldn't save them, save you. But now I woke up back in my 15 year old body and I need to change things, I need you alive. I don’t think i can survive another loss and—”

Wen Qing cuts him off.

“Do you expect me to believe you?! Are you insane?!” Yes. “You need help if you intend for me to even consider believing you. You’re here now telling me that my family dies just like that, and how do you even know my relatives’ names?! What do you—” This time she cuts herself off when she sees Wei Wuxian’s expression of total despair.

“I understand, don't worry, I won't burden you with this. You can leave and tell people I’m fine and maybe i can write a letter so they can’t put the blame on you—”

Wen Qing mutters something along the lines of I cannot believe I’m even considering it and finally raises her voice. “I’m gonna need proof.” She hates how Wei Wuxian’s face lights up in a split second.

“Okay, okay, I got this. Let’s see- oh! I know, you told me once that when you were little, you and your brother sneaked behind your parents’ back to go to the forest because there were many medicinal herbs you wanted to see. You intended to go alone but Wen Ning caught you and asked to go with you, so you had to bring him and— oh, this is my favourite part, we used to tease him with it— when you two got to the forest he got so scared because it was getting dark quickly so he ran back to the village but tripped on a branch and fell on donkey dung” He couldn’t not laugh at that. “And if you’re not convinced I can tell you that A-Yuan’s parents were called Wang Zihan and Wen Yizhen and you told me that they married in secret just before you left for Gusu and that Wen-popo was so mad they had eloped.”

As the story went on Wen Qing’s face dropped significantly. He's telling the truth? That can’t be. My family is going to die? Wei Wuxian took notice of the expression change and quickly shut up.

“Do you believe me?”

Silence.

“Tell me how to save my family. Now.”

But first they have to go somewhere safe and Wei Wuxian needs to rest. Wen Qing’s village would be a great place but it's too far away and she can't leave the Cloud Ressesses just like that, so an inn would do. 

They pay for a room and the owner gives them a look. Wei Wuxian cringes internally but he can't really explain what they're doing so they just follow the directions to their room. 

Before he can start formulating a plan, Wen Qing urges him to lay on the bed and he can't really gather the strength to make a joke out of the situation so he just follows her instructions. 

Once Wei Wuxian is laying there, Wen Qing starts assessing him to check his health, at least his physical health. 

They fall in silence, only broken by the healer’s words a few minutes later. 

“You're fine, a little weak given you haven't had a proper meal for a few days but that is easily fixed, you're gonna need to actually eat if you intend to do what you told me you'd do. Do you understand?”

Silence. 

“Do you understand?” She grabs him by his collar, looking at him straight into his eyes. 

Wei Wuxian averts his eyes and gives a tiny nod. After that she orders him to sleep, at least an hour. 

So he does. 

. 

An hour later Wen Qing wakes him up. Not because she thinks it's the best given his condition, if it were for her he'd sleep longer, but they're on a tight schedule and soon enough the Lan would notice they're gone. 

“I have a plan but you’re not gonna like it.” Not a really great way to start the conversation.

Wen Qing rolls her eyes but signals him to go on.

“You see, I still have my ghost cultivation and with an actual golden core—I’m not gonna explain that— I may actually not die this time so I’m confident I can take Wen Rouhan on my own”

Oh, if looks could kill.

“Don’t jump to conclusions, okay? I can take him but only if he’s alone and after we take care of Wen Chao and Wen Xu. And— don’t look at me like that— We have to make sure no one is left of that group so you— or Wen Ning can take the throne and i don’t know, maybe turn the sect into a medicinal oriented one— although that’d be fucking hard. Not that I’m questioning your leadership or anything but its objectively difficult, but I guess not impossible so if we play our cards well we can do it—”

“Stop! Wei Wuxian, are you insane!?” Wen Qing looks scandalized.

“—and I can then leave the cultivation world behind and ensure no one else dies because of me” He blabbers the last part and has the decency of looking at least a bit scared.

“We are a medical branch! We are barely respected as it is. Do you think they would actually acknowledge us as leaders?”

“Well… I—I don’t know? Do you have someone in mind decent enough that could be a fair Sect Leader?” If it’s not them then it has to be someone trustworthy.

“...”

In the end Wen Qing mutters a word and at Wei Wuxian's questioning look she repeats it.

“Wen Haoran” She moves to sit. “He’s Wen Ruohan’s younger sister’s son. She married and had a boy with a rogue cultivator and they both settled in a village near ours. She gave him her family name. They were installed as the head of the place. They did a good job and since his parents’ passing he’s been taking care of it. The people like him and he’s managed good relationships with the Elders. We get on well too. He’s a good man, he’d be a good choice” 

“Then it’s decided” Wei Wuxian exclaims, slamming his palms in his legs.

“Just like that? You never even met the guy”

“You trust him, that’s enough. Besides, no one could be worse than Wen Ruohan”

“Fair enough” Wen Qing sighs after a bit of consideration.

“This way we avoid a war, no one important dies and I can leave in peace!” He actually smiles at that and Wen Qing fumes at it.

“You can’t just leave like that! What about your family? You’re gonna leave them and pretend to be at peace with it?”

“What else can I do?”

“Live happy and by their side. Whoever is in charge of your life gave you a second chance, so use it” Wei Wuxian doesn’t look convinced. “Or at least think about it”

He lets a quiet okay and they move on to another topic.

“If you truly can take all of them by yourself, one by one, then you’re gonna need a plan and place to rest, so go to Dafan Village and tell them I sent you, they’ll know what to do” He looks unsure about it, since the last time he saw them they were being murdered. Wen Qing seems to have caught on. “It’ll do you good to see them alive and well”

“...alright”

“And don’t tell me anything of your plan. Plausible deniability or whatever” Wei Wuxian nods.

Wen Qing sighs and gives him one last look but before she can say goodbye, she feels arms wrapping around her. 

“Take care”

Just like that, he’s gone.

.

It doesn’t take much time to arrive at Dafan Village, since now he has a Golden Core and doesn’t tire easily anymore like before. It’s still night time when he finally sees houses on the horizon so he decides to wait. In the cold. Outside the village.

Just as he starts to convince himself that staying outside the rest of the night waiting for the sun to grace the land it's not insane behavior and borderline creepy, a man with a lantern walks towards him. It’s too late to pretend he’s not there so he braces for the inevitable questions.

“Gongzi? Is there a problem? Are you okay?” Uncle Four’s voice blesses Wei Wuxian’s ears and he stills. He looks good, he thinks. Not haunted by war, sleepless nights, starvation and less than ideal circumstances. That’s what he’s supposed to look like. Wei Wuxian observes the figure in front of him and feels relieved. It won’t happen again, I won’t let it.

Estranged and slightly scared by his silence and constant stare, Wen Muyang repeated himself. “Gongzi?”

That made Wei Wuxian get a hold on himself and he smiled at the man.

“Oh yes I— You see— Wen Qing sent me here because I need a bit of help to get my affairs in order and I really just need a place to stay for now and she thought this would be the right place for me. I didn’t really want to approach any of you in the middle of the night so— uh I— I planned to wait here but then you appeared so…” His voice faded as he finished his story.

Uncle Four gave him a look and sighed. “You have a lot going on, don’t you? Come on in” He indicated to follow him and turned around, walking to the entrance of the village.

He didn’t even question my story. 

He followed him.

In truth, Wei Wuxian had never been inside the Dafan Village. As he spun around in wonder, taking in every aspect of the place that had raised Wen Qing and Wen Ning, he couldn’t help but wonder what could’ve happened had he protected them from the start. Would the Village be able to stand tall and proud in glory like it had before? The thought saddens him.

His guide came to an abrupt stop and they both collided. Just as he was about to apologize, the door in the house they were at opened.

Wen-popo greeted them.

She was in her 60s when he first got all of the Wen into the Burial Mounds, but had he never asked her age he would’ve thought she was 80. War is cruel on everyone. Now, looking at her, actually appearing to be 60, brings a tumult of emotions to Wei Wuxian. Unable to let words escape his mouth, he and the woman get trapped in a staring contest. Uncle Four takes the lead, thankfully, of the conversation.

“Popo, this one right here says A-Qing sent him” Then, he just leaves. Without even looking at him.

Well, this is awkward.

Wen-popo offers him a smile and urges him to enter the house.

Inside, she offers him some food, and when he finally says yes and starts munching on some buns he was given, she sits down. Her presence felt like a breeze to Wei Wuxian, back in the Burial Mounds, she worked as a pillar in their little settlement. She was, after all, the oldest and wisest there, keeping everyone calm and making sure everything was okay, even if it wasn’t. He didn’t realize how much he had missed her.

“What is happening sweetie? Why did our A-Qing send you here?” 

“How do you know I'm not lying? I could be making this up to gain your trust and betray you later” Wen-popo laughs at that.

“And why would anyone want to betray us? We’re a little village, what’s the gain in betraying us, like you said? Had we considered you a threat we would have never approached you, but you were there, outside our door with a heavy expression on your face, what else could we do?” She then sighs. “And you know A-Qing’s name, not many people would use her to get here, so something must have happened. What's wrong, sweetie? What’s so wrong that my granddaughter told you to come to us?”

And for the second time that night, Wei Wuxian breaks.

This time, he feels more in control. Maybe it’s Wen popo’s steady presence, maybe it’s the fact that he has already cried enough times. He cries for a while and the old woman, who had once let him love her like a grandma, soothes him. Once his breaths are steady he begins his explanation.

He doesn't get into too much detail, not wanting to scare her, but he doesn't lie either. He tells her he thinks war is coming, and the possible outcome of it, how he had this premonition in which they will all die. He tells her how tired he feels, how guilty of not being enough. By the time he's done, Wen-popo looks pensive.

The silence scares him but he continues to hope for understanding. 

“All right, dear.” He really thought that he would have to bring more convincing arguments. “There's something you're not telling me, but I'm not going to press. It is unfortunate that I can believe you about this war that's coming. I may be old but I know my way around politics, even from here” She gives a laugh and he smiles slightly. Her easy expression falls as she continues talking. “If the Wen go against the cultivation world, we will perish. Wei Wuxian, A-Xian if I may, do you think yourself capable of stopping it?”

“Yes” There's no room to doubt. 

“Alright then” She pats his head. “Go sleep, A-Xian. There's still plenty of time to rest”

Wei Wuxian smiles at the gesture and obeys her. Right before closing his eyes, he turns to Wen-popo. 

“Call me A-Ying, please”

“Then you have to call me Wen-popo, A-Ying. Everyone here does.”

Wei Wuxian drifts to a peaceful sleep, finally. 

. 

When he wakes up, there's some food on a tray right next to his bed. He eats it happily, feeling well rested. 

He exits the house and goes looking around the village, now more lively than when he first entered it. He decides to properly look at it and is amazed by the amount of people he sees. How many of them had perished at war and how many had perished at labor camps. He quickly put the thought away and continued walking.

As he spotted Wen-popo, his route changed to meet her.

“A-Ying, it’s good to see you awake.” Well rested and not zombie-like goes without saying. Wei Wuxian beams at her sweet smile.

“Thank you for the food and the place to stay, Wen-popo. I’m sorry to give you so much trouble at such an hour.” He’s quickly to apologize for his actions but the old woman stops his bow.

“Ah, it’s not a problem, A-Ying. You don’t have to thank me for that.”

“Alright. But I can’t just take and not give. I truly appreciate what you’re doing for me, so, is there a way I can show my gratitude?” He asks, knowing that to fight with Wen Yu is akin to fighting a war but not willing to fold completely.

She sighs but then guides him towards a house at the end of the street.

“This couple married not long ago, eloped actually but we don’t talk about that, but he’s been going back and forth from here to Nightless City because of his business. With that, the house maintenance falls to us because A-Han has a weak constitution and can’t do much physical labor. So go see if she has something to do.” Wen-popo leaves him there as she’s called by a woman passing by.

He knocks on the door and while he waits, he can’t help but feel like the story sounds familiar. He doesn’t get to dwell much on it because as the woman opens the door, the answer stares at him in question. There’s so much of A-Yuan in her face.

He is speechless. How is he supposed to talk to the woman? He killed her baby. His own selfishness murdered her family. Her baby boy died because he couldn’t keep a clear mind.

“Hello? Is there something I can help you with?”

But I can fix it. He thinks as he’s brought to reality by the lady touching his arm.

“Oh, excuse me. I was lost in thought. Your beauty is unparalleled and I was struck by it.” He offers her a smile and sees and her cheeks color.

“What a flatterer. My husband wouldn’t like you flirting so shamelessly.” She smiles back.

“Such a lucky guy to have a wonderful wife! I’ll make sure to tell him how fortunate he is when I meet him. Madam, is there something I can do to help? Wen-popo sent me your way to see if you need something.” 

“I see, I see. I always tell Popo not to send people when there’s some things I can do  but she worries. Yes, yes, I do need help this time! Would you mind helping me move some furniture around? I’m preparing the nursery for our future baby. We’re not expecting just yet but oh I hope soon! I want to make a beautiful room for them.” She spoke as she let him in.

Wei Wuxian spent several hours talking and helping and getting to know Wang Zihan and by extension her husband. He learnt so many things about A-Yuan’s parents, things he hadn’t been able to before. How they met, on a cold autumn night she said. How he courted her, he always gave me handcrafted gifts. How he had asked to marry her and how they couldn’t wait and just eloped.

Tears sprung his eyes when she was telling a funny story from before their wedding day. She quickly noticed and asked what was wrong, giving him a handkerchief.

“Oh, no, no. You see, I'm a romantic at heart and your story got to me. You two seem so in love I’m even feeling a little jealous.” He joked trying to ease the situation.

“Oh, you’re still young A-Ying,” He had told her to call him that. And she had allowed him to call her Zihan-jie. “you’re going to find someone and feel just the way I do. I promise” She reassured him.

“Not sure about that.” He mumbled. “Okay, Okay. The room is looking fantastic, Zihan-jie!” She made a sound of approval and they both looked proudly at their hard work.

“I’ll be heading home now, call me if you need anything!”

“Of course, A-Ying. Thank you.” She bowed and he bowed back.

“I’m happy to help.” With a smile he turned back.

At Wen-popo’s house a meal was waiting for him. She asked about his day and he went into detail, happy to talk to the old woman just like he had once. 

His days stayed like that. He would help around the village, talk with the residents. At night, he would find time to recreate his talismans and inventions, also planning Wen Ruohan’s downfall. At one point he got to meet Wen Yizhen, who had —almost— immediately taken a liking to Wei Wuxian (he told him how fortunate he was to have a wife like Wang Zihan and created a misunderstanding that, fortunately, didn’t last long). 

A few months later, Wang Meiling’s wish came true and she surprised the whole village with a baby announcement. Everyone was thrilled for them, especially Wei Wuxian because that was his little radish.

Her husband was way more attentive and the whole village was on the lookout as her body wasn’t in the best health. Thankfully, Wen Qing came back from Cloud Recessess to take over. 

As for the lectures, he was okay with knowing no one blamed Wen Qing for his disappearance. He didn’t ask and she didn’t tell him much.

A few months later, Wang Zihan had her first contraction.

Wen Qing, the other healers, Wen-popo and Wen Yizhen spend what feels like an eternity inside the room Wang Zihan is in. The screams fill the air and then, after hours, just as they appear they’re gone. When everyone who’s waiting outside expects a happy outcome, Wen Qing approaches Wei Wuxian with a furious look in her eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Her yelling startles him. “Why didn’t you tell me?! I could’ve been more prepared! I could’ve done something!” She’s now crying and Wei Wuxian doesn’t know what to do.

Wen-popo appears to her side. “How could he have known something, dear. It's not his fault.” 

“It is! He could’ve said something and I could’ve saved her!” His world came to a halt with that sentence.

“What— What do you mean? Save her? Wen Qing, what is happening?” She fell silent and when he insisted, Popo answered instead.

“I’m afraid A-Han died minutes after giving birth, A-Ying. She managed to meet her baby, little A-Yuan, she named him.” This cannot be happening.

“No.” His face was covered in tears. “No, that can’t be right. No. She— A-Yuan was supposed to grow up with loving parents. No. This can’t be happening. They were supposed to— to live.” His words crashed into his mouth and his head shook from side to side.

“You should’ve told me.” Wen Qing’s voice was heard again.

“No one— No one told me how they died. I— I was— I thought they died later on. I— A-Yuan was supposed to know them this time. I— I need to leave.” He left both Wen women confused, Popo more so.

His brain filled with countless bad thoughts. Because it was his fault. He should’ve known. But how could he, if no one talked about his little radish’s parents? But it was his fault anyways.

He walked an hour into the forest next to the village and spent the next four sitting alone. Until, three hours in, he hears steps. He gave a look but no effort to speak.

“I’m sorry.” He heard after a while. “I was harsh, I’m sorry.”

“I deserved it.”

“You didn’t.” Silence. “Did you really not know?”

“No.” He still didn’t look at her. “No one talked about them. I thought they had died the same day, at the labor camp.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“But you deserve an apology.” Did he?

He finally looked at her, her cheeks had traces of tears and her eyes had a red tint to them.

“Come on, you have to meet A-Yuan.” She offered a hand. “Zihan-jie loved him so much, we have to love him for her now and you already have a head start.”

They walked back in silence. At some point Wen Qing questioned him.

“So you know how Wen Yizhen died?” His answer was negative and they left it at that. He’s not dying this time, I can prevent it.

He couldn’t.

Wei Wuxian moves in with the father and son to help. He tried everything to brighten Wen Yizhen’s mood but nothing works. And he can’t even be mad at the man, he knows what it is like to lose the only person that loved you unconditionally. The whole village helps but in the end it’s not enough. With a broken heart, the widowed father drinks himself to death on a night where Wei Wuxian was spending time with Wen-popo and A-Yuan at the woman’s house. No one finds his body until the next morning, since walking drunk got him outside the village. There were traces of tears on his cheeks. The apology to his son was written on his face.

This time Wen Qing doesn’t say anything to Wei Wuxian. This time she knows he did everything he could to help the man, but sometimes it’s not enough. And given Wei Wuxian’s state of mind, she couldn’t get herself to blame him.

The funeral went quietly. Everyone in the village agreed to leave A-Yuan in Wei Wuxian’s care. He was stunned by it, but Popo convinced him. You were the one taking care of him in the first place, she had said. They still moved back to her house, as she couldn’t be parted from her grandson after the loss of her son and daughter-in-law.

The next week became a haze. He took care of A-Yuan with the help of everyone. Time passed and he didn’t know how to feel about it.

A couple of months later, Wen Qing was summoned to Wen Ruohan’s side and Wen Ning followed. He said goodbye to his friends, who had become family at this point, and looked at the baby as they left.

This can’t go on like this.

He made up his mind. The plan was going to take place soon.

“Wen Qing! Wait!” He runs to her, A-Yuan in arm. He whispers to her ear. “Send me letters about Wen Ruohan’s next moves, I need to know when he’s taking Cloud Recesses and Lotus Pier. I’ll send you a letter and disguise a special talisman for secrecy so you can use it.” She blinks and then nods. “No one will know it was you, I promise.”

“Good.”

“Great!” He raises his voice this time. “Thanks for the note, I’ll make sure to feed him the right food!” He wiggled the baby in his arms and smiled. Wen Qing rolled her eyes and turned her back to leave again, following Wen Ning and the soldiers that came to collect them.

Wei Wuxian grabbed A-Yuan’s little arms and waved them goodbye. When they were out of sight, he went back to the village.

A week later he sent the talismans disguised with a letter talking about the village's progress, detailing how to use them and assuring their efficiency. They just need a little bit of energy and the content of the letter they were used in would appear in a piece of paper with the same talisman in the destinatary’s end.

Life goes on.

He takes care of A-Yuan, helps around the village and worries. Worries so much about the Wen siblings. Wen Qing’s letters don't say much, just a few questions about their lives and updates of her and her brother’s. She hasn't used the letter talisman since the first time she did, just to corroborate it worked. The conference on Qishan comes and goes and the Dafan village starts having an alarming rate of Wen soldiers looking for recruits. Wen Qing still doesn’t say much. 

As Wei Wuxian’s worries start to affect him, since the date for the burning of Cloud Recesses is coming close, he receives an update. It’s simple worded, efficient.

They’re getting Gusu.

He gets to work. He leaves A-Yuan into Popo’s care citing business in the next town over, he has a feeling she doesn’t believe him but doesn’t ask questions. 

He grabs his new dizi, still named Chenqing but this time red instead of black, and leaves the village without alerting the newly appointed guards. He sets to Gusu. 

He manages to catch up with the Wen force led by Wen Xu just as they enter the Cloud Recesses. Damned his luck that he couldn’t get to them earlier. The Lan disciples are scattered around and the Wen soldiers are making their move, the place is already burning. He sees Lan Qiren shouting orders to frightened but serious looking cultivators. He also sees people leading the little ones away, thanking the Wen hadn’t seen it too. Lan Wangji is fighting several soldiers at once and Lan Xichen is nowhere in sight.

He gets to work.

A quiet melody fills the air, with a dizi and a mask to cover his face in case it's needed, Wei Wuxian approaches the battlefield wielding resentful energy. He doesn’t actually show himself, a cloud of black smoke covers his entire body giving the illusion of a silhouette but no actual features. The Wen soldiers are confused and the Lan look scared. Using the distraction the melody intensifies and the corpses spread around start waking. 

Once it’s clear the resentful being is attacking solely the Wen, Wen Xu changes the tactic to one to subdue the black smoke beast. It’s useless. 

If the scene before had been horrific by itself, now it was a proper bloodbath. No Wen was spared. Soldiers were torn apart by their own fallen comrades. Both sides were clearly separated, the Wen being attacked by one side and the terrified Lan by the other. Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren had taken the reins to protect the other disciples and were in formation on the other side of the place. 

As the Wen fell one by one, more Lan survivors were grouping, ready to fight the resentful thing that was attacking them.

Once done, only a bloody Wen Xu was standing.

“I’m leaving him for you Lan. Kill him, it’s yours.” His voice sounded weird through the energy surrounding him and he hoped it was distorted enough that they wouldn’t notice him.

He made a corpse grab Wen Xu by the collar and throw him to Lan Wangji’s feet. He didn’t react, there was silence.

“It’s your victory, kill him.” Nothing.

Wen Xu could barely move by now, it was so easy. Why isn’t he doing it. Then it hit him. Lan Zhan hasn’t killed a human in cold blood before, has he? That was his forte.

His dizi sounded again and before he could hear Lan Wangji’s refusal, the same corpse that threw him grabbed a sword from the floor and stabbed Wen Xu in the heart. 

“It’s done.” He looks at Lan Wangji in the eyes and he thinks he looks back. He then sees the disciples behind him, frightened, and a shiver goes down his spine. They’re scared of him.

“I will never be your enemy.” He says, hoping it would calm them.

“This is outrageous! Resentful energy?! Have you no shame?! How can we believe you will do us no harm?!” Lan Qiren points his sword at him.

He really doesn’t have the energy for this. He leaves without letting the Lan survivors do something about it. He leaves not knowing Lan Wangji was confused about his choice of song for the battle since he had just finished composing it.

He makes it back to the Dafan village just as quietly as he left three days before and promptly passes out after greeting Wen-popo and A-Yuan.

.

He wakes up to the smell of recently made breakfast and A-Yuan’s giggles. He stretches and meets Wen-popo at the table.

“A-Ying, go and eat something. You passed out without grabbing some food first and worried me.” A-Yuan was now on his lap, using his hands to eat as messily as he could. Wei Wuxian grabbed a cloth and wiped his face making the baby look at him with a frown.

“Ah, A-Yuan, am I interrupting your meal?” He laughed and let the baby continue with his food. “Popo, how lucky am I to have such a beautiful woman worry over me!” She gave him an amused smile at his antics. “I promise I'm fine, I was just really really tired. Thank you for the food, it’s the best!” He praised and started eating, keeping an eye on A-Yuan.

Then spend their meal between stories and giggles, mostly from the baby.

The next couple of days passed without drama. That was until news of Wen Xu’s demise reached the village.

His presence in the village was never questioned much. The guards didn’t know him as Wei Wuxian but as A-Ying. Everyone in the village called him that and no one ever gave them the doubt that he was out of place. No one knew him as a Jiang disciple and the villagers were kind enough not to mention much about him.

With that said, he still was weary of the Wen soldiers.

The Wen sent by their leader to Dafan started leaving as they were needed for an upcoming battle. This brought relief to Wei Wuxian at the prospect of not seeing them anymore but it was quickly shut down as Wen Qing’s newest letter arrived.

The Wen were moving to Lotus Pier.

Wen Ruohan‘s process was simple. Given his oldest son’s brutal loss, he needed a victory. Weighing his options, he went for the Jiang.

.

In truth, Wei Wuxian hadn’t been to Yummeng in years. Yes, technically in this timeline it would be a bit more than a year, but for him it was more. A lot more. The last time he had seen Lotus Pier was after the rebuild took place and after that, he had been in the Burial Mounds with the Wen for around two years. It felt weird.

It looked like home but it didn’t feel like it anymore. His home now looked like tiny hands reaching for a hug and warm embraces from a lovely grandma.

The situation didn’t let him dig deeper into that as a whole army was marching with the intent to destroy his former home.

This time, the Jiang were somewhat prepared. News reached about the Lan being almost destroyed and the other Sects anticipated the Wen response. They knew how volatile Wen Ruohan could be and didn’t want to test their luck, so they didn’t send disciples to the indoctrination and were expecting some sort of battle. They were, of course, right.

A considerable number of soldiers marched towards the Jiang residence chanting about their imminent victory.

As if.

The horde stopped right at the entrance and Wen Chao stood in front, Wen Zhuliu and Wang Lingjiao to his side.

“I demand to see the leaders of this poor attempt of a sect!” His words prompted cheers from his army and giggles from his mistress. He was met with silence from the side of the Jiang.

The cheers stopped and the soldiers looked at their leader, expectantly.

“I said— I demand to see you!” 

This time, a voice roared from the inside.

“How dare you come to my home and demand to see me, you poor attempt at a general?!” Yu Ziyuan stood proudly from the other side, Jiang Fengmian next to her.

In this instance, Wei Wuxian was glad Yu Ziyuan behaved like that.

A laugh scaled a horrible mouth. “You finally showed up! Listen you filth, you’re going to hand over this sect by surrendering or by death. Which one do you choose?” He smirked and Yu Ziyuan’s eyes twitched.

“We choose to fight.” This time Jiang Fengmian talked.

The battle started.

Wen Chao took Wang Lingjiao and left the soldiers to do his dirty work. Wen Zhuliu went straight for the lady of the Jiang.

It was a mess. Wei Wuxian was hiding. He wouldn’t show up until it was necessary but his feet felt stuck. The swords made noise, the people made noise and his mind was clouded by pure dread. He saw his shidis and shimeis dying, his family dying, his sibling distress over their parents and his former home destroyed. His feeling of dread soon turned into pure rage because how could they. No one is dying today.

Blinded by anger he made his way into the battlefield, dizi in hand and a black cloud hiding him.

He took satisfaction in it. He slaughtered every Wen that came into his way, and as they died he called the corpses to slaughter more Wen. The Jiang were scared but rapidly caught up with the fact that the black smoke thing was only killing Wen, so they kept out of its way. 

Yu Ziyuan was fighting against Wen Zhuliu and Jiang Fengmian was killing all soldiers that tried to get to his wife. The Madam’s maids were aiding Jiang Cheng and, thankfully, Jiang Yanli was nowhere to be seen.

Wen Zhuliu managed to trip Yu Ziyuan and as his hand was reaching her lower diantian, Wei Wuxian’s dizi changed melodies and it seemed like the whole world stopped. A corpse was grabbing Wen Zhuliu’s hand, centimeters away from Yu Ziyuan. 

“Don’t you dare.” His cold voice sounded from inside the cloud of smoke and everyone who heard it stopped breathing for a moment.

His music went back to sounding and the corpse holding the hand broke it completely. Yu-Furen used that to get her energy back and stab her opponent in the heart. No one got their Golden Core melted.

The relief that wavered through Wei Wuxian felt freeing. With one target off the list, he went to cross over two more names.

It wasn’t difficult to find them. Right at the back of the Wen formation, Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao hid, horrified by their clear loss. 

This time he didn’t do horrific things to them, but Wang Lingjiao still died calling for her lover and Wen Chao died calling for Wen Zhuliu, long dead.

Knowing the Jiang could take the victory without much fuss, Wei Wuxian left the battlefield content.

.

The battle at Lotus Pier opened his eyes. Wen Ruohan wouldn’t stop no matter what and it was time a new sect leader took the throne. He made his way to Wen Haoran’s village and left a kind letter informing him of his next task: preparing himself for the throne and not to worry about anything.

It's going to be weird for him to get a random letter about this, isn’t it? He thought. Meh, not my problem.

Wen Haoran was, in fact, extremely weirded out about the letter and honestly very afraid. More afraid when news reached about Wen Ruohan’s demise and a letter requesting his immediate ascension to leadership.

The plan was easy, he would simply walk through the door and kill Wen Ruohan.

It wasn’t.

Yes, it was easy to just walk through the door. Killing the guards wasn't a big deal, killing the sect leader was the difficult part because, after all, he wasn’t on the cusp of immortality for nothing.

Wen Ruohan sat on his throne with a smirk on his face, similar to the one Wen Chao wore on the day of the fight against the Jiang. Wen Qing stood by his side, surprised to see Wei Wuxian openly oppose her uncle.

With a move of his hand, Wen Ruohan dismissed Wen Qing and she left not without casting a glance to Wei Wuxian, who gave her a look of reassurance.

“See, are you the one who's been killing my offspring? I expected someone more… mature.” He stood up. “What are you, fifteen?”

“I’m too old to remember.” But he did, he unfortunately remembered every day he was alive.

Wei Wuxian lounged towards Wen Ruohan, who dodged gracefully. It was difficult to attack someone in hand on hand combat when the only weapon you have is a dizi. He cursed himself for leaving Suibian at Cloud Recesses, but he just couldn’t bring himself to use his sword. 

Wen Ruohan is good. His cultivation is high and his movements with his sword are perfect, he can’t deny it. The fight lasts hours but no one is willing to accept defeat. Wei Wuxian attacks with talismans and whatever he can do with the little time he gets to play notes on his dizi to use resentful energy and Wen Ruohan uses a mix of sword forms and resentful energy.

“I see you’ve mastered the resentment, kid.” He laughs and Wei Wuxian uses that moment to catch his breath. He’s tired, bleeding and bruised but his opponent looks just fine. “You see, I had to use the Yin Iron to master it but you seem just fine without it! Excellent! I just wish I didn’t have to kill you so I could see how much you could do.”

Without it? Without it, without it, without it, without it.

The Yin Iron.

In one last effort, as Wen Ruohan lounges to attack him, he calls for the Yin Iron pieces in the Wen’s possession. To his surprise, they answer his plea.

It feels like the whole world stops. He sees only black, Wen Ruohan disappears from his vision and a tiny white thing approaches him.

“You are more worthy.” Is the only thing it says.

In a flash, the world continues turning and he feels complete. Killing the Wen sect leader feels like a kid’s game. Wen Ruohan is gone before he can even know what’s happening.

He doesn’t question it, as he knows the Yin Iron is now a part of him. He feels the resentful energy settle inside him and finally he’s at peace. He doesn’t know how it really works, he figures that the Yin Iron has the means to help him and wants to.

He opens the door and leaves, he sees Wen Qing at the end of the hallway. She hugs him. No one says anything about it. He leaves for good after making sure every bad Wen is eradicated.

They hold the funerals a week later. The new sect leader, Wen Haoran, offers deep apologies to the sects affected by Wen Ruohan’s tyranny and compensation. The world will need time to forgive the Wen sect for their past atrocities but it’s a start. 

Wei Wuxian doesn’t attend the conference, Wen Qing and Wen Ning do. He spends time relaxing with his baby and his new family. No one at Dafan is really saddened by their leader’s demise. Months later, after helping Wen Haoran settle in his new job, the Wen siblings come back home. Life remains good.

.

Four years later Wei Wuxian is a proud father of 5-year-old A-yuan and an excellent teacher at the Dafan Village, teaching the little ones sword forms and talisman work. 

He’s twenty-two, the age he was when he died and he doesn’t know how to feel about it. He gets news sometimes, he knows his shijie has a little girl with the peacock and is now celebrating her second child’s —Jin Ling’s— 100-day celebration. And he needs to think of something else because he can’t think of how everything bad that happened, happened at this exact date.

Everyone is fine, A-Yuan is fine, Wen Qing is as mean as ever, Wen Ning is sweet as always and not a fierce corpse, shijie is fine, the peacock is fine, everyone is fine. I’m not losing control anymore, i’m not—

He calms himself down and thinks. With his son now old enough to not need him all day, he can start taking night hunts near the village, so that’s what he’s doing to keep his mind off it.

He focuses all his attention into the yao he’s fighting and as he finishes it, he hears it.

“Wei Ying.”

There Lan Wangji stands, as beautiful as he remembers. As beautiful as the day he saw him on that cliff.

…

Lan Wangji worries. He feels like he shouldn’t because he doesn’t know Wei Wuxian that much, but he’s gone from the infirmary and he can’t find him.

Telling his uncle is hard, but telling Jiang Wanyin is harder.

He yells, curses and starts frantically looking for his sect brother.

Lan Wangji wishes he could be so open with his fear.

.

They don’t find him. Wei Wuxian is gone. The Jiang arrange a party to look for him and the Lan help because a disciple just vanished under their care and it’s their fault. He does feel at fault and Yu Ziyuan’s words on the matter don’t make him feel better. She might hate Wei Wuxian with passion but a disciple from her sect can’t just disappear without a word.

He sees Jiang Yanli cry and feels guilty about it.

Months pass and there’s no news of Wei Wuxian. He goes around looking whenever permission is granted but he comes back defeated to his home. His brother looks at him with sadness but doesn’t comment on it.

His home is burned and a cloud of smoke uses the composition he has just finished and not told anyone about to win a whole battle.

“I will never be your enemy.” He believes it, for some reason.

But Wei Wuxian is still gone.

His uncle is enraged. By the Wen’s audacity and by this resentful energy user.

He makes no comment on it.

Wei Wuxian is still gone

The Jiang is destroyed but is not. Rumors of a black cloud of smoke killing half the army starts spreading and Lan Wangji feels relieved that this strange thing is alive and well. 

He doesn’t know if he should feel that.

Wen Ruohan is dead and the Lan can stop making arrangements for war and turn to rebuild what the Wen managed to destroy.

Wei Wuxian is still gone.

The new Wen-zhongzu apologizes and he feels weird about it.

Years pass and Wei Wuxian is still gone.

The world is at peace but Wei Wuxian is still gone.

He goes on a night hunt and Wei Wuxian is still—

“Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian is standing in front of him.

…

“Lan Zhan.”

They’re both frozen in their places.

It seems like Lan Wangji wants to talk but as his lips start to move, a talisman inside Wei Wuxian’s robes lights up. He stops everything and rushes to the Dafan Village.

Lan Wangji follows.

He makes his way to his house, not caring he’s being followed by someone he doesn’t know should know of his whereabouts but he can’t think much of it when his baby is calling for him.

He opens the door and is greeted by a wailing A-Yuan and a tired looking Wen-popo.

“Baba!” He runs to his arms and Wei Wuxian embraces his kid.

“Shh, shh, A-Yuan. It's okay, baba is here.”

“Had a bad dream, baba!”

“Oh, baby, I'm sorry. It's just a dream, you’re okay I promise.” He carries Wen Yuan to his room and smiles at Popo. He catches Lan Wangji before entering the room, he looks perplexed, an odd change on his normally blank face. He hears Popo offering him a drink.

Half an hour later he finally gets A-Yuan to sleep and now he has time to freak out over Lan Wangji being in his home.

He doesn’t form a plan and just comes out, unprepared for what could happen.

He doesn’t find Wen-popo outside, the question must be evident on his face because Lan Wangji speaks.

“She went to sleep. Felt tired.” Wei Wuxian nodded and sat in front of him. No one said a word for a few minutes.

“You left.” Lan Wangji finally spoke. Wei Wuxian nodded. “Why?”

And that was the question. What can he even tell him? The truth? Would he believe him? Perfect, righteous, beautiful Lan Wangji. The past years served as reflection for him, he finally got the chance to think about something for more than five seconds. It was not normal to want Lan Wangji’s attention all for himself, it was not normal to daydream about a life by his side. He really should’ve known before, when he saw A-Yuan cling to his leg and call him A-Die on the streets of Yiling years ago. Now he knows and he can’t stop thinking about it. Because this is not the Lan Wangji that experienced war with him, this is the Lan Wangji that barely knew him for two months. But I still love him.

“Wei Ying?” The sound of the question startled him and he smiled at Lan Wangji’s slightly furrowed brows, a sign of worry for his uncharacteristic spacing out.

“Ah, Lan Zhan.” He met his eyes. “I just couldn’t stay.”

Lan Wangji said nothing but the question was clear in his eyes. He won’t ask, even if he really wants to know.

“What if you knew the future?” The question confused him even more. “And you knew it was so awful you would rather die than experience it?” His eyes widened slightly and he could see his hands gripping Bichen.

“Wei Ying.”

“Lan Zhan.”

“Do not joke.”

“It was terrible, Lan Zhan. What I saw, what I lived, was so bad I thought of killing myself. I have done terrible things in both lifetimes and I don’t regret most.” Save for the time I killed my sister and her husband. “I don’t want you to ask and I don’t think I can handle you shaming me for it.” 

Tears streamed Wei Wuxian’s cheeks and he didn’t bother drying them. 

Apparently Lan Wangji did.

He quietly raised his hands up to Wei Wuxian’s head. He flinched and Lan Wangji stopped his movements. Not wanting him to stop, Wei Wuxian grabbed his hand and put it against his cheeks. His eyes closed and he let himself feel the moment.

“I would never.”

“Thank you, Lan Zhan.”

No more questions were asked that night. Wei Wuxian guided them to his room, where they slept embracing each other, as a reminder that the things they lost were returned safely.

.

He woke up alone, no Lan Wangji to his side, but the excited voice of A-Yuan and the low response he got made him panic less.

He left the room to find his son wrapped in conversation with the Lan cultivator, who had a patient look on his face.

“Oh, A-Ying, come here. The food is ready. Your Lan Wangji helped.” Wen-popo hurried him to the table as he froze at the your Lan Wangji.

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji gave him a smile. Precious.

“Baba! Lan-gege told me about his home! So cool! Can we go visit? Please.” Wei Wuxian was at a loss. On one hand he would be thrilled to visit other places and take his son with him, on the other, how do you face the people you left behind close to six years ago?

“We’ll see about it, A-Yuan.” He could only say that.

Time passed with a very happy Wen Yuan talking through the whole meal. Wei Wuxian had to tell him several times about the Lan rule to not speak during meals. He was understandably upset because he wanted to talk freely with his guest.

Soon, after several protests and promises to play games with him later, Wen-popo took A-Yuan to the market so the adults could talk.

Silence.

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji spoke. “A-Yuan?”

“He’s mine in every way that counts, Lan Zhan. His parents were amazing people.” His gaze lowered. “I couldn’t save them.” He added faintly.

“Was he important? From before?” He was surprised at the question.

“Yeah, yeah, he was.” He smiled. “The most important. I couldn’t save him then, but I can now. He’s a happy kid.” He didn’t let the tears fall but Lan Wangji still noticed.

“Where was I?”

“You tried so hard, Lan Zhan.”

“It wasn’t enough.” He looked pained.

“No. No, it wasn’t.” He reached for his face. “It’s alright, I promise. I don’t blame you, nor anyone else. I made my bed, I can lay on it.” Lan Wangji closed his eyes and leaned to the touch.

Silence.

“Will you have me?”

“Ah, Lan Zhan. I think the question is will you have me? I’m older, I've done things you may not approve of and there’s stuff I can’t tell you just yet.”

“But you will?”

“But I will.”

“Will you have me, Wei Ying? I will have you.”

“Yes.”

Wei Ying is not gone anymore. 

.

It took him months until he explained every detail he could remember, to tell him what he did in both timelines. Lan Wangji told him about the song and they kissed about it. It took another year until he gathered the strength to meet with the Jiangs. But he got there. 

He’s happy.