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She fell in love with Mizi first. It didn’t come as a surprise, it was actually amusing how her, Till and Sua all loved Mizi together. How Mizi was so oblivious to the three people yearning for her affection. If anything, loving Mizi was inevitable.
She had a light so bright, a burning ray of kindness and joy that wormed its ways into the very depths of her soul and shone through her from the inside out. Loving Mizi was perfection personified, and if Hyuna knew it was doomed to fail, she payed it no mind. Loving Mizi was addictive, and she merely added it to the list of her other addictions.
Loving Sua was slow. It came in the quiet, the moments of silent companionship stolen in the early hours of the morning. Sua always woke early, Hyuna sometimes never slept. It was an easy understanding to sit together with their coffees and watch the dewdrops sparkle on the cobwebs that littered the balcony.
Hyuna didn’t do quiet, but she found she didn’t mind it much with Sua.
If loving Mizi was inevitable then loving Sua was a surprise. She’d never thought their personalities compatible, Sua was too quiet and reserved and also her best friends sister so technically she was supposed to be out of bounds.
But then Sua was dropping a carefully timed jab in Luka’s direction, expression deadpan except for the slight twitch of her lips when Hyuna laughed loudly and— yeah, this felt right too.
—————————————————————————
It had taken a while to put a name to it, but at some point Hyuna realised she loved slightly different than everyone else sometimes. The realisation was sudden, a random Wednesday at 8am spent sat between a bickering Ivan and Till on the bus to school and pretending not to be interested in their conversation.
”Why would she kiss Ryker when Helen is right there!” Till argued with a frustrated wave of his hands. Hyuna was inclined to agree with him, the female love interest in the love triangle was way better.
But Ivan was also horrendously gay so naturally he was team Ryker. “I just think Ryker and Renée’s personalities are far more compatible, plus they’ve been friends from childhood. It's literally perfect.” Absently, Hyuna thought that Ivan was somewhat biased there, he’d been in love with Till since he was eleven. Till was sixteen now and still none the wiser.
”That’s stupid!” Till scoffed, and Ivan’s expression just barely crumpled before he repainted the mask on. Hyuna patted his shoulder discreetly. “And anyway, you just want to kiss Ryker yourself, don't even try to be slick about it!”
”As if you don’t want to kiss Helen,” Ivan grumbled under his breath.
“I think,” Hyuna interrupted loudly, having decided she hadn’t drank enough coffee to deal with this argument yet again, “that they should all just kiss each other and be done with it.”
There was silence. Hyuna blinked, not understanding what was so weird about what she just said. They all had two hands, after all. Besides that would actually make it a love triangle instead of a mistakenly titled love V.
“That’s not how it works,” Till said, brows furrowed in confusion.
Isn’t it? She was two years older than him, surely she should be the word of authority here. But then she glanced over at Ivan who was well versed in the subject of romance due to his affinity towards cringey romance books, and was stumped by his look of confusion too. Not as obvious as Till’s open expression, but she caught it in the slight squint of his eyes, the way the corner of his lips twitched.
Hyuna’s brows raised in surprise, and she directed her attention back down to her phone. “Jeez alright, have it your way then,” she muttered with a shrug, feigning her usual nonchalance. That’s not how it works, rang through her head all day, leaving her unreasonably irritated by the end of it.
Not that it mattered in the end. Renée kissed Ryker, naturally, and both Till and Hyuna mourned the loss of another sapphic relationship while Ivan smugly collected his winnings.
—————————————————————————
She’d met Ivan through Luka, when he was thirteen and she was fifteen. Something about their rich dads constantly lumping them together during business meetings until it left a disgruntled Luka complaining about babysitting and the world’s most fucked up thirteen year old thrusted into Hyuna’s hands instead because she and her brother practically lived in his house with how often they were there. Hyuna fucking loved him.
With Ivan came his older sister, equally as reserved but far more composed and elegant with a bite to her tongue that rivalled anything Hyuna had previously seen. With Sua came her best friend Mizi and with Mizi came the world’s most hopeless boyfailure Till and suddenly the duo became a group of six and Hyuna couldn’t be more pleased.
She was eighteen when she dated Luka, nineteen when she broke up with him. Twenty when she saw pink hair and a bright laugh and thought fuck and twenty still when she caught purple eyes and biting remarks and thought double fuck.
—————————————————————————
”I’ll never date Till,” Ivan admitted sadly, flopped on her couch with a beer bottle in hand. She was twenty five now, him twenty three. They were still as hopeless now as they were five years ago.
“What makes you say that babe?” Hyuna asked, kicking her feet onto her coffee table. Her prosthetic clinked harshly against the glass top and she winced at the noise, still somewhat unused to it.
“He’s in love with Mizi,” Ivan said mournfully, throwing back too large of a mouthful.
He’s been in love with her since he was thirteen, Hyuna meant to say, but instead her own glass of gin had made her lips loose and her tongue careless and she said aloud for the first time, “me too.”
Ivan blinked. “Oh.” His voice was tainted with surprise, and Hyuna snorted. She didn’t know how someone as perceptive as him didn’t pick up on it. And because she was too tipsy to care about the consequences, she said with a sigh, “I love Sua too.”
Ivan blinked again. “Oh.” She felt his heavy gaze on her and chose to down the rest of her glass of gin to avoid it. “How does that work?”
It doesn’t work like that, Till had said years ago, and Hyuna shrugged now just as she had then. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly, far too honest for her liking. “I just do.”
Silence, for a moment. Then—
”You know they love each other, don’t you?”
Hyuna blew out a breath, tipping her head back. She wished absently that Ivan wasn’t there so she could soothe the itch under her skin with a cigarette. “Yeah,” she said quietly, words stiff and strained.
Loving two people didn’t come with double the amount of love, just left her with the sting of two rejections at once.
—————————————————————————
“Do you think Sua will like it?” Mizi chewed nervously on her nails, a habit she’d had for years that Hyuna had always found endearing.
Hyuna shook her head with a smile, reaching out to pull her hands away from her mouth. “Course she will babe,” she said with a laugh. “Sua will love everything you give her.”
”Do you really think so?” Mizi looked up at her through her pink hair, looking so simplistically beautiful Hyuna almost had to double take.
She winked. “Positive. Besides,” she brought one of Mizi’s hands up to her own mouth, pressing a kiss across her knuckles as she joked. “I’ll take it if she doesn’t want it.”
When Mizi laughed, she might as well have caused birds to fly from the trees. Who needed Snow White’s songs when this beauty was right here? “You’re such a casanova,” she giggled, cheeks flushing a similar shade of pink to her hair.
”Only for you, my girl.” Hyuna winked again, hiding the heavy truth behind her usual teasing tone. Anything for you.
—————————————————————————
“How long are you going to simp for my sister?” Ivan asked her, nose wrinkling in disgust.
“How long are you going to simp for Till?” Hyuna shot back, flicking a piece of popcorn at him.
Ivan casually pulled the popcorn out of his hair, eating it without even inspecting it first because he was weird like that. “Yeah but… my sister?”
Hyuna shoved a mouthful of popcorn into her mouth. “Your sister is a godsend, not my fault she got the better end of the genetics deal.”
”You know I could end your Netflix subscription,” Ivan threatened with a scowl.
”Nooo babe I’m sorry,” Hyuna conceded immediately, resting her head on his shoulder and batting her lashes. “You’re so handsome.”
Ivan stole a handful of her popcorn in response because he was nothing if not a dickhead.
It was a few minutes later when Ivan said somewhat grumpily, “you do know she used to be a biter, right?”
Hyuna grinned, biting down on her bottom lip. “Is that a promise or a threat?”
Ivan shoved her off his shoulder as Hyuna broke into peals of loud laughter.
Maybe some things were worth the pain.
—————————————————————————
“Sua,” Hyuna complained behind her teeth, body contorted into an unnatural shape, “how long does it take to grab a picture?”
”Patience, Hyuna lovely,” Sua soothed behind her camera, pulling out the sweet words like she just knew Hyuna was weak to them. “Tilt your head back a little for me.”
Hyuna groaned, but she did as Sua bid, tipping her head back and letting her long hair tumble behind her. She heard Sua gasp quietly and then the rhythmic shuttering of lenses before she eventually straightened. “Alright, I’m done.”
Hyuna immediately flopped onto her back, wincing when her hip cracked in protest. “Did you at least get my good side?” She teased with a crooked grin, glancing to the side at her.
”Of course, why do you think I had your left side to the camera?” Sua shot back with a small smile, fussing with her lenses.
Hyuna gaped, clutching a hand to her chest. “How rude? You wound me Sua, I fear this will be the end.”
Sua rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you’ll survive,” she said flatly, but despite her words she walked over and held a hand out for Hyuna to take, helping her to her feet.
”So darling, what’s the plan?” She slung an arm over Sua’s boney shoulders, tugging her into her side as they walked away from the fountain that Sua had made her pose by. Sua frowned ever so slightly, but she didn’t pull away from the contact. “Not much,” she hummed, “Mizi is meeting us any minute and I guess we can go get coffee or something.”
As if summoned, with those words came an explosion of pink hair and bubbly laughter and a heavy impact barrelling into them from the side.
Hyuna wheezed, having endured the brunt of the impact, but Sua laughed, bending over to pick up Mizi’s glasses which had fallen. “You’re going to break these if you’re not careful,” she scolded with a laugh, gently replacing them on Mizi’s face.
Mizi waved her concern away, still somehow hugging them both.
Hyuna, having finally recovered her breath, leaned down to kiss Mizi’s cheek, ruffling her carefully styled pink hair. “Don’t sweat it, I can blackmail Luka into buying you a new pair if needed.”
”You still talk to him?” Mizi asked in confusion, squeezing her way between them and holding them both around the waist.
Hyuna was glad that a blush didn't show as obviously with her skin tone as it did on others. “Course I do,” she said with a cough. “He’s dating my brother and all now.”
”He’s keeping it within the family so,” Sua commented dryly and Hyuna snorted, the sound drowned out by Mizi’s giggle. She watched Sua beam at the girl between them, wished her loving gaze could include her too.
She pushed it away as they got their coffees, kissing Mizi’s cheeks and hugging Sua over the shoulders and pretending that she didn’t notice how the two girls stuck to each other when she didn’t force her way between them, how she was constantly sat to the side, a sliver of space always carefully maintained between her and them.
—————————————————————————
“Hyuna lovely,” Sua murmured to her just days later as they took their usual morning walk around the misted lake. She wasn’t quite sure when this habit had started, and she knew it was wreaking havoc on her already chaotic sleep schedule but she wouldn’t replace it for the world.
Hyuna hummed in acknowledgment, sticking her nose into the lip of her coffee and inhaling the sweet scent as it was still too hot to drink but she needed something.
When Sua stayed silent, she glanced to her side, witnessing the other girl wringing her fingers anxiously. She frowned, nudging her shoulder. “What’s up duck?”
Sua blew out a breath, hiding behind her fringe. “Do you— do you think Mizi likes me?” She asked quietly.
Hyuna blinked, caught off guard. She’d thought the answer was obvious, that Mizi’s blatant affection would have assured Sua of any worries. “Of course she does! Don’t tell me you thought otherwise?”
Sua shrugged but didn’t answer, her silence was confirmation enough.
Hyuna bit the inside of her cheek contemplatively, feeling her heart start to twist for reasons she wasn’t yet sure of. Hope? Resignation? Perhaps both. “Do you like her?” It was a stupid question, it was obvious, but she still found herself needing to hear its verbal confirmation.
Sua nodded, a small smile curving her lips at the mere thought of Mizi. Hyuna swallowed, fingers tapping against the cardboard takeout cup she’d been given for her coffee. “Could you— is there someone else too?” Do you smile when you think of me as well? Blush at the idea of me, you and her all together and happy? Am I included in these sweet dreams of yours?
She knew Sua would deny it regardless, but Hyuna had always been perceptive. She just needed a hint, a slight opening in the door, something she could stick her foot in and pry it open to worm her way into her life too.
But Sua blinked. Brows furrowed, when she finally turned her gaze to look up it was confusion that shone in her beautiful purple eyes. “Who else is there?” She asked, as if she couldn’t fathom the idea of anyone other than Mizi occupying space in her mind.
Hyuna laughed, furiously shoving the hurt down to be drowned under a bottle of gin once she returned to her lonely apartment. “Don’t mind me,” she chuckled, turning away to stare down into her coffee. Her hair fell over her shoulder, shielding her face like a physical manifestation of the wall Sua had constantly kept between them, despite the soft moments they shared.
“I’m only talking nonsense.”
—————————————————————————
They started dating only days later.
Hyuna found out during the new couple’s excited video call in the early hours of that morning, long before Ivan had the chance to warn her.
“I’m so happy for you two,” she said genuinely, watching Mizi pepper kisses along one side of Sua’s flushed face and wishing so desperately that she could kiss the other side.
She’d given up the cigarettes a year ago. She picked the habit right back up that very day.
——————————————————————————
A hint here, a nudge there. A hug across the shoulders and little gifts slipped into an unsuspecting pocket. Hyuna never had been one to give up on what she wanted.
She joined Sua on her walks with an extra bright smile and a cup of iced caramel coffee just the way she liked it. She ate cheap takeout with Mizi while they binge watched cringe romance shows. She grabbed them both by the elbows and dragged them on nights out with her so they could all get wasted to the point that no one noticed when she stared too intently or let her touch linger too long.
And all the while, Sua never put down her walls and Mizi would brush off her affections with the crushing sentence, “You’re such a good friend, Hyu.”
If only they knew what more she craved. If only they knew how desperately she stared at the silver of space between them and begged for it to open up into something large enough for her to fit in.
—————————————————————————-
“I just think that if they took their eyes off each other for one second and looked at me instead I might have half a chance!” She complained into Ivan’s pillow, having turned up unannounced in the hopes of running into his sister and pouting when she ended up being on a date.
Ivan barely looked up from his book, sitting beside her on his bed. “Careful now, you’re starting to sound like me,” he said absently.
Hyuna rolled onto her back with a groan. “You bitch, you’ve infected me.”
He shrugged as if to say not my problem.
After a moment, Hyuna pushed herself up onto her elbows, staring up at him intently. “We’re talking about your sister and your childhood friend here,” she said desperately. “Do I have any —any— chance at all with them? You probably know them better than anyone.”
Ivan paused. He didn’t look up from his book, but his eyes had stopped moving across the page and his lips were pursed ever so slightly. He was hesitating, Hyuna realised with a burst of an unnamed emotion.
“I don’t want to get your hopes up,” Ivan said slowly, and Hyuna sat up straight. “But… I mean I’ve seen Sua eyeing your chest anytime you wear something revealing and Mizi always turns red when you hug her.” He shrugged, glancing away from his book to look at her. “Play your cards right, there might be a chance for you.”
Hyuna, as dignified and nonchalant as always, fell back into the pillows with an excited cheer. “She’s just so pretty!” She gushed when Ivan rolled his eyes. “And she’s so kind and feisty and oh the way she sings is just pure perfection.”
”I have no idea who you’re talking about,” Ivan muttered under his breath in a manner that hinted she wasn’t supposed to hear it. The answer was somehow both. Before she could say as much, he idly flicked the page of his book, raising his voice pointedly. “You know, for someone so cool and admirable, you’re just as pathetic as me.”
Hyuna whacked him in the face with his own damn pillow, tuning out his complaints in favour of going over what he’d said.
She had a chance!
It didn’t take a genius to know when someone was trying to avoid you.
And while Hyuna may not be as intellectually smart as Ivan, she knew how to read people like the back of her hand. Perceptive to a fault, nobody could deny it.
Such, Hyuna clocked on pretty quickly when Sua started to do just that.
One word responses to her messages, calls going unanswered, the space beside her on her morning walk left empty. When she questioned her, the answer was simple. So sorry, I’m just busy right now. No hearts, no exclamation marks, no smiley faces, blunt and straight to the point as was usual for Sua.
The text alone raised no warnings.
And yet—
Hyuna felt uneasy as she slowly placed her phone back onto her desk. She knew something wasn’t right.
Mizi appearing alone at the cafe where she worked was only confirmation.
“Good morning, Mizi my love,” Hyuna greeted with a wide smile, shoving her coworker out of the way so she could serve Mizi, tuning out Isaac’s complaint.
Mizi’s face was flushed from the cold air outside, a random wet spell bang splat in the middle of June, her smile as bright and eyes as sparkling as ever. “Morning!” She laughed, crossing her elbows onto the counter. “My usual, if you don’t mind.”
Hyuna winked, having already started lining her cup with hazelnut syrup. “One step ahead of you, darling.” When Mizi covered her hand with her mouth as she giggled, golden eyes crinkling in the corners, she pretended the heat in her face was due to the steam of hot chocolate wafting up from the machine.
She slid the cup across the counter, having given her an extra squirt of cream just because it was Mizi and refusing to let her pay for it. Hyuna tapped her fingers on the counter and asked somewhat nervously, “how’s Sua?”
Mizi’s eyes immediately lit up at the mention of her girlfriend, cup cradled between two tiny hands. “She’s good! She’s actually at my place now, fast asleep, I didn’t have the heart to wake her before leaving.”
”You simp,” Hyuna teased just to see her face flush pinker than her hair, then hummed, leaning her cheek against her fist. “I’m not surprised, she did say she was up the walls busy.”
She expected Mizi to huff, to roll her eyes and complain about Sua always biting off more than she could chew and never accepting help for it. Instead, Mizi’s brows furrowed over her cup of hot chocolate. “She did?” She asked, voice tainted with confusion. “She took this week off work though.”
And—
Oh.
Hyuna pushed herself off the counter with a laugh that could only sound fake to her ears —and maybe Ivan’s— picking back up the cloth she’d abandoned in favour of talking to Mizi. “Ignore me so,” she said breezily, “I must have misheard her. I’ll catch you later, I should get back to work before Isaac kills me.”
Mizi’s expression dimmed slightly before she smiled just as brightly as always. “Okay! I’ll see you at Till’s party on Friday won’t I?”
”Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Hyuna assured her, despite the heaviness in her chest, suddenly not wanting to go at all. She would, of course, because Ivan would kill her if she didn’t and she would hate to make the wet cat sad on his birthday because she didn’t show up to the party she forced him into attending in the first place.
Besides, she could do with the excuse to drink now.
She watched Mizi flounce out of the cafe, smile immediately dropping once she turned her back. So she’s really avoiding me, huh, she thought miserably, turning back to her work with a sigh.
”Has your sister got a stick up her ass or something?” Hyuna demanded down the phone, fumbling in her pocket for her house keys.
”No more than usual, why?” Ivan drawled, sounding more than unimpressed. She probably disturbed his daily emo diary entries about how Till didn’t love him and interrupted his work flow. Fucking literature nerds.
”No reason, goodbye.” She hung up, angrily kicking her door open once she finally found her keys. She ignored the ????? that Ivan sent her, although she did crack a smile when he responded to her silence with an eloquent well fuck you so.
Was it something I said? But she couldn’t remember any recent conversation of theirs ending sourly.
To say that Hyuna was tipsy before the party even started was an understatement. She’d been shooting down shot glass after shot glass before the lesbians were due to arrive otherwise she’d give up and go home immediately.
“What is wrong with you today?” Ivan hissed under his breath, attempting to snatch her drinks away.
“I’m hiding from my problems as per usual, now leave me alone.”
Ivan cast a glance around before wrestling the glass out of her hand. “I told you that’s not healthy.”
”As if you can fucking talk —give that back!” Hyuna snapped, grabbing his wrist and starting an unconventional tug of war between them.
“Exactly, don’t be like me— Hyuna! Do you really want to get piss drunk on Till’s birthday?”
”He’s already piss drunk!”
”It’s his birthday!”
”Hyuna! Ivan!”
Their bickering was cut off by something solid and pink slamming into them, Mizi announcing her vibrant presence with a laugh and an arm around each of their waists.
“Mizi! My love!” Hyuna cheered, suddenly forgetting about Ivan confiscating her drink in favour of kissing her cheek affectionately. She moved to sling an arm around Sua’s shoulder as per usual but the other woman ducked out of reach, grabbing hold of Mizi’s wrist and dragging her away with a muttered excuse of finding the birthday boy.
Hyuna watched them leave, something hot and confused burning in her chest at the sight of their retreating backs.
“That was weird,” Ivan said from beside her, frowning too.
Hyuna snatched her drink back from his loosened grip, “now you see why I’m getting drunk.”
Ivan sighed, a long suffering sound which seemed ill fitting for the circumstances considering Hyuna was the one getting the cold shoulder. “Please don’t be stupid Noona, I can’t babysit you and Till.”
“Then don’t babysit me.” Hyuna downed her glass, ruffling his carefully styled hair. “I’ll be fine Navi, look after your boytoy.”
”Boytoy,” Ivan grumbled under his breath, swatting her hand away to fix his hair. As if he minded the idea of Till being his boytoy.
The night was a blur after that, Hyuna downing drink after drink and avoiding Ivan’s judgemental stares and Sua’s icy glares and pretending she wasn't painfully thinking what did I do?
The answer came only twenty minutes later, when a tipsy Sua cornered her on the way to the bathroom.
“Sua!” Hyuna had greeted with a wave, so fucking pleased to finally see her beautiful face again that she momentarily forget about the one sided beef.
”Stop it!” Sua snapped, her short black hair falling loose from her headband to curl around her face.
Hyuna was mesmerised by the motion for a moment before she snapped back into focus. ”Stop what babe?”
“That!” Sua prodded her chest, eyes narrowed. “That is exactly what I’m talking about! I know what you’re up to.”
Hyuna froze. No… she couldn’t possibly know.
”You know, I thought the world of you Hyuna, I’ve admired you since the day we met and never did it occur to me that you would ever be a homewrecker!”
And just like that, the confusion came tumbling right back. “I— what?”
Sua was more angered by her confusion if anything. “Don’t play dumb with me,” she spat. “Out of everyone in my life, my brother and my closest friend conspiring to take my girlfriend away from me? I can’t believe it.”
”Sua I don’t know—“ when she reached a hand out in comfort, Sua slapped it away, eyes blazing.
“I heard you!” Her voice was getting louder now, people starting to glance over curiously see what all the commotion was about. “I came home from my date and went to go and say hi because I could hear your voice and I heard Ivan telling you that you have a chance with Mizi!”
The world suddenly went very, very cold.
”And then as if that wasn’t enough,” Sua barrelled on, “just when I thought that maybe I misheard it, you had to go on about how pretty she is and how perfect she is as if that’s not my girlfriend you’re talking about.”
The words were stuck in her throat, the blood running through her veins freezing until it felt hot. “Did you— Did you hear anything else?”
”I heard enough,” Sua hissed, but Hyuna shook her head, “no I really don’t think you did—“
”—Oh so there was more?” She interrupted scathingly. “Did I miss your wicked plan to whisk Mizi away from me?”
”No I—“
”Maybe a rant about how absolutely wonderful she is?”
”Sua you don’t understand—“
”—Don’t understand what?” Sua glowered up at her, “are you telling me you don’t like my girlfriend?”
Hyuna was struck silent, always brutally honest until the end.
“Look at me, look me in the eyes and admit to me that you’ve liked Mizi this whole time.”
Hyuna swallowed. She looked Sua in the eye, met her furious purple gaze and couldn’t help but think how beautiful this righteous anger looked on her. “Listen—“
”—Say it.”
”Just let me—“
”—Say it Hyuna!”
”Fine!” Hyuna shouted, “I love her, okay! But Sua I—“
Sua was turning away.
Panic shot through her like a metal rod and Hyuna darted forward, attempting to catch hold of her thin wrist except she slipped out of her grasp and into the crowds of people.
“Just— Sua wait!”
She shoved past the people who’d gathered to eavesdrop, desperately reaching out for hints of white and black.
“Hang on, Sua I wasn’t finished I—“
The front door slammed shut in her face.
“I love you too,” Hyuna finished quietly, even though the one person who needed to hear it was long gone. I’m in love with you as well.
If she’d thought it was bad enough with Sua avoiding her, it was another punch to the gut when Mizi started avoiding her too.
“I’m trying,” Ivan soothed over the phone when she rang him to distraughtly break the news that Sua had blocked her number. “She blocked me too and she hasn’t come home since the party.”
”Can’t Till do something?” She asked desperately, wringing her hands in her hair as she paced her bedroom.
”Till isn’t talking to me either,” he said dryly. “They all think we’re the villains and none of them are letting us explain.”
Hyuna squeezed her eyes shut, sitting down heavily on her bed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—“
”—I know,” Ivan interrupted. “It’s not your fault. We’ll fix it.”
She only wished she could be as optimistic.
The opportunity came only a day later, in the form of a single text from Ivan. Sua is home. Hurry.
Hyuna had never put on her shoes faster.
She sent Ivan a text when she arrived and it was him who quietly opened the door, shushing her with a finger to his lips as he let her in. She mouthed a thank you over her shoulder as she made a silent beeline for Sua’s room, just catching his thumbs up as she lay a hand on the doorknob and before she could overthink it, pushed the door open and slipped inside the room.
Sua looked up when she entered, expression hardening ever so slightly as she realised who it was.
Hyuna held up her hands in defence. “Just let me talk!” She hurried, before Sua could tell her to leave. “I didn’t get a chance to explain myself before you left.”
”What else is there to explain? You want to date my girlfriend.” Sua said flatly.
Hyuna winced. So maybe she’d worded that wrong. “I do,” she admitted, because she wasn’t here to lie to her. “But I don’t just want to date her.”
Sua frowned, and she took her silence as encouragement to continue. Well, here goes nothing. It wasn’t like this situation could get any worse than what it currently was.
“I— I love you too, Sua.”
Silence. Horrid, prickly, awkward silence that made the ants under Hyuna’s skin crawl all that more insistently. “Don’t look so shocked, you insult me,” Hyuna laughed awkwardly. “Have I not made that at least somewhat obvious?”
Sua shook her head slowly, eyes wide. “Mizi made sense,” she said quietly. “I mean you’re always kissing her—“
”—I kiss everyone.”
”You don’t kiss me.” She sounded somewhat indignant.
Hyuna huffed gently, leaning back against the door. “You don’t like being kissed by me,” she said with a tiny laugh. “You tolerate my touchiness because you know it’s my primary love language but you don’t love it so I try to show it in other ways.”
Sua frowned slightly, still obviously confused, and Hyuna laughed in disbelief. “Oh come on Sua! I wake up at 5am every morning to go on a fucking walk with you, you do realise I have never fallen asleep before 2 in my life!”
She watched, in real time, as the realisation dawned on her pretty face, purple eyes widening just a fraction. Hyuna smiled crookedly, looking away. “I’m hopelessly in love with the two of you, and it’s just my fucking luck that you love each other instead.” That you love each other without me. That you don’t crave my presence alongside you both.
She blinked, sucking in a breath when the silence stretched on. “That’s all I had to say,” she said fake bravado, looking up. “I’m not expecting or asking for anything from either of you. I just— I didn’t want anyone to think of me as a homewrecker. The last thing I want is to break you two up.”
I want to join you, was left unsaid, hanging in the air between them heavily.
Without another word, Hyuna slipped from the room, closing the door behind her with a click that echoed in her ears long after the sound waves receded.
To his credit, Ivan said nothing when she rejoined him in the kitchen, simply inclining his head towards the door and holding up his car keys, a silent offer to drive her home. She accepted it in a rare show of quietness. She’d done what she went there to do, now she just wanted to go home and wallow without anyone to witness her show of weakness.
”You sure we don’t want me to come up?” Ivan asked, parked outside her apartment complex.
Hyuna nodded, already reaching for the door handle. “Yup, I’m good. I’ll chat to you later, alright.”
Ivan grabbed hold of her wrist before she could leave. “I’m trusting you not to do anything stupid,” he said in a low voice, dark eyes boring into her like he could read what was on her mind.
“I won’t get drunk,” Hyuna sighed with a roll of her eyes, prying Ivan’s hand away. “I just want to eat ice cream and be pathetic, alone because I don’t like people seeing me pathetic.”
“If you say so,” Ivan said, looking away in that condescending way he could be like when he wanted to rile you up until you were too pissed off to remember why you were ever upset. It worked on Till more than her, but she still smiled when realising what he was trying to do.
“I do, bye babes.” She saluted through the window as she walked off, knowing he could see through her jaunty walk but still feeling the need to keep up that front.
She immediately lit a cigarette as soon as she entered her apartment. She never told Ivan that she wouldn’t smoke after all.
No sooner had the cigarette touched her lips did a sharp knocking interrupt her. Hyuna rolled her eyes, slowly making her way through her mess of a living room towards the front door. “Ivan I swear to god, I just said I was fine—“ she cut herself off as she swung the door open. “You’re not Ivan,” she said slowly, staring down into golden eyes.
Mizi blinked. And then suddenly there were hands on her cheeks, cigarette knocked from between her teeth and she was being tugged down until a pair of soft lips claimed hers.
Hang on—
Mizi somehow tugged her closer and Hyuna sank into the touch eagerly, eyes fluttering closed as instinct took over and she reached out to grasp long, pink hair.
Then sense was knocked back into her and Hyuna jerked back, staring down at Mizi in confusion. “Hang on—“
”—You love me,” Mizi interrupted, staring up at her with that bright fire in her eyes that she loved so much.
“I— well yes but—“
Mizi’s expression brightened once more. “Great!” She attempted to tug her down once more but Hyuna grabbed hold of her wrists before she could, reluctantly pushing her away. “Just slow down for two seconds, where’s Sua?”
“She’s right here,” Mizi blinked up at her in confusion as if it was obvious, but it took Hyuna dragging her gaze away and looking over her shoulder to spot Sua hovering by the door, hand resting on the doorknob as if unsure should she stay.
She held Mizi a little further away, unsure why they were even here and why Sua was watching them both with an unreadable expression when last she knew Sua was pissed at her.
”I am so confused,” Hyuna said slowly, glancing between the two of them.
Sua snorted, her expression smoothening out into something more recognisable and Mizi frowned, wiggling her hands where Hyuna still held them. “I thought you and Sua talked?”
”No my love,” Sua said softly, walking that little bit closer. “I said she talked at me, she left before I could say anything.”
”Oh,” Mizi’s face flushed that glorious shade of pink it always did when she was embarrassed. “I got a bit excited.”
”I know, love.”
Hyuna let go of Mizi’s wrist to hold up her hand, gathering the other two’s attention. “I’m still really confused. I thought you two were pissed at me.”
Sua winced imperceptibly while Mizi glanced away guiltily. “I was never mad at you, Hyu,” she said quietly.
”But you avoided me after that party…” When it was revealed that Hyuna liked her, Mizi had gone awol. “What else was I supposed to think?”
Mizi gently pulled her other wrist free from Hyuna’s grip, choosing to squeeze her own elbow instead. “I wasn’t mad… I avoided you because…” she sucked in a breath, glancing over at Sua briefly, then squared her shoulders. “I like you too, and I have for a long time but when Sua said you liked me too… I felt like I needed to distance myself from you because I already felt horrible liking you while I loved Sua and I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore knowing it's returned and she would think I was cheating which I had no intention of doing.”
Hyuna found herself taking a step back, blinking hurriedly as her mind tried to process the onslaught of information. She was still very confused and also somewhat in disbelief but more than anything she still didn’t understand why they were here and why Mizi had kissed her while Sua watched.
She frowned, taking another step back. “I won’t be anyone’s side piece,” she said bluntly, a little sharper than intended. “I want to date you both at the same time, none of this getting Mizi for Tuesdays and bank holidays type shit.” She couldn’t blame Sua for not feeling the same, but Hyuna still had her pride. She wanted them both or she would finally accept having neither. She wasn’t settling for an in between that would make her both miserable and overjoyed.
Both of them stared at her, twin looks of confusion that would have been amusing in any other situation.
“That’s not what this is,” Sua said through a frown while Mizi kept glancing between the two of them, fingers twitching like she wanted to reach out and touch.
”Then what else is it?” Hyuna snapped, wishing Mizi hadn’t knocked out her cigarette. “It’s not like you like me.”
”Who said that?” Sua shot back, stepping closer.
”You did!” Hyuna laughed dryly. “When I asked if there was anybody else you could have liked, it didn’t even occur to you to consider me as an option!”
”That’s because I never imagined myself liking someone like you that way.”
Hyuna flinched, finding herself unnecessarily hurt by that comment. She knew she wasn’t anything like Mizi and came with a host of wonderful problems, but still. Ouch.
“No that— that came out wrong.” It was weird to see Sua so flustered, cheeks flushed an embarrassed red and fists clenched at her sides. “I mean, you’re you and I’m me, anytime I thought I was interested I just assumed that I wasn’t the kind of person you’d date so I didn’t think much of it.” She tipped her chin up defiantly despite the nervousness in her eyes. “It took you confessing for me to realise that I never actually lost that interest and that the way I feel about you isn’t exactly all that platonic.”
Hyuna’s gaze darted frantically between the two women in front of her, that wondrous, treacherous hope unfurling in her gut to twist around her heart and taint her voice. “So…” her hand twitched, heart thumping so loudly she wondered if the others could hear it. “You’re here because…”
Mizi grinned, that sparkling look in her eyes again that made the hope rise just a little bit higher. “Come on Hyu,” she teased, holding her hands out and making a grabby motion. “You’re normally the most perceptive one here.”
Hyuna glanced between them once more, taking in both their smiles —with varying degrees of wideness— and flushed faces before she allowed a grin to split her own face, finally indulging in that blasted hope.
She darted forward, grabbing hold of Mizi’s outstretched hands to yank her towards her, leaning down to eagerly smash their lips together once more. Mizi squeaked at the sudden contact before she was pulling her hands away and cradling Hyuna’s face in them, thumbs swiping over her cheekbones as if she was the one worth treasuring.
Hyuna smiled against her mouth, then reached out blindly to curve a hand around the nape of Sua’s neck, pulling away from Mizi just to tug her into her space too. Sua’s kiss was slightly more clumsy, hand scrambling to grab hold of her shoulder and fist in the lines of her shirt but Hyuna sank into the contact just as eagerly, just as utterly in love.
She pulled back with a laugh, reaching out to cup both of their cheeks. Caught by a sudden impulsive urge, Hyuna smooshed their faces together just enough for her to able to lean in and kiss them both at the same time. Mizi pulled away in peals of laughter while Sua spluttered, rubbing at her cheek. “Did you just make us into an idiot sandwich and kiss us?”
“Yes,” Hyuna said smugly. She half wanted to do it again just to see those perfect reactions once more.
Mizi laughed again, winding an arm around each of their waists and resting her head on Hyuna’s shoulder. “I’m so happy, you’ve no idea how much I wanted this.”
Hyuna snorted, kissing her forehead and thinking back to way too many drunken phone calls to Ivan. “No darling, you have no idea much I wanted this.” It had only been five bloody years…
Regardless, it was neither here nor there. What mattered was that they were here. That when Sua tugged her down into a kiss with a pointed hand on her cheek, Hyuna curled her own hands into strands of both pink and black hair. That Sua’s hand cradled her cheek while Mizi’s lips trailed along her neck and Hyuna was able to tug them both close, close and closer still.
What mattered was that Hyuna was in fucking heaven and if only for the pinprick spot of pain when Mizi bit her neck with a giggle she would have assumed the tobacco was somehow making her hallucinate.
“Ivan. Ivan. Ivaaaaan pick up the fucking phone.”
”What?” Ivan’s voice was groggy and somewhat irritated when he finally answered, squinting blearily at her through the screen. “Why are you video calling me at this hour of the morning?”
”My bad, finger slipped, was supposed to be a voice call,” Hyuna lied with a shrug, unable to stop grinning. She really just wanted to see the look on his face. “You’re normally up by now anyway, why were you asleep?”
”Had a long night.” Ivan answered vaguely. “What’s up?”
Hyuna squinted at him suspiciously before deciding to move on, not patient enough to hold her news in any longer. “Well,” she drawled, “I just wanted to let you know that I managed to bag myself two bitches before you got one. Pay up bitch.”
Silence, for a moment. Ivan’s expression carefully blank with his eyes slightly narrowed like it always was when he was contemplating his words.
”What’s wrong with your face? Why aren’t you happy for me? Bastard.” Hyuna pouted at her phone, disappointed at the lack of a reaction from her best friend.
“Sorry to burst your bubble,” Ivan eventually said slowly, “but are you so sure about winning that bet?” The hint of a smug smirk curled the corner of his mouth and he turned his phone screen to the side to reveal a tuft of grey hair buried beneath blankets like a sleepy burrito.
Hyuna blinked. Then— “what!”
”Hyuna!” Ivan hissed, covering his mic. “Don’t wake him!”
”What the fuck!” Hyuna lowered her voice only slightly. “When did that happen?”
”I went to his place right after dropping you off.” Ivan said in that irritatingly smug way of his. “So, actually, you pay up. Bitch.”
“No, hang on.” Hyuna sat up straighter, looking down at Mizi’s somehow still sleeping face despite her yelling. Sua was already up and pottering around in her kitchen. “The girls got here just after you left.”
Ivan looked slightly less smug. “You had to talk things out with them though. We just started kissing straight away.”
”Horndog,” Hyuna muttered. “What time did you fuck?”
”…what?”
”What time was it? Till!” She raised her voice again, Mizi stirring beside her. “Wakey wakey wet cat! I need to know who got it first.”
”Don’t wake him!” Ivan scrambled to cover the mic again as the grey blob burrowed into his pillow with a groan.
”Yes I will wake him. Till! What time did you fuck!”
”Hyuna!”
Hyuna had caught sight of the clock on her nightstand blinking 7:00 PM when Mizi pushed her onto the bed. But if needed, perhaps her memory had failed her a little. It could have been a bit before that.
(Only Sua knew it had been 7:18. But Till had grumpily muttered ten past or something, fuck off! so she held her tongue and let Hyuna gleefully rake in her winnings, weak to the smile of a beautiful woman and always eager to scam her brother.)