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“Are you scared, Suo?”
Throughout his whole life, Suo has never been not scared.
With a power that feels more like a curse than a blessing, Suo has always been scared. With his cursed power - to be able to take someone’s life force just from touching them - every step, breath, and move feels like a walk on top of a fragile glass; he just needs one wrong move to make everything shatter. Just like how he sent a boy into a coma last year because he wanted to have his first kiss. Just like how every flower that he touches will wilt - no matter the soil. Just like how every animal that he pets will die - no matter the species. It’s always shadows of fear that haunts him on the windows of his soul - fear of bringing death to whatever that he touches.
He didn’t know that someone as brave as Umemiya Hajime actually exists.
“Are you, Umemiya-san?”
Suo didn’t know Umemiya Hajime until three months ago, when the tall man arrived at the Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters – practically catching every hearts and eyes with his warm, debonair upbringing. At that moment, Suo won’t be surprised if his powers would be something related to mind or hypnosis control – judging from how easy it is for him to make everyone look ; the chiseled jawline, the dreamy blue eyes, the soft black locks that moves beautifully whenever the wind kisses him.
It was until hordes of metal projectiles from uncontrolled freshmen’ training session accidentally thrown and flew towards Umemiya’s parents – when Suo, and the rest of the students saw how Umemiya stepped forward to face the projectiles head-on and threw kinetic energy-charged cards towards the projectiles, before his hand caught, charge, and threw a wild running projectile; blasting it with kinetic energy that is so big it destroyed the whole horde of metal in no time.
He didn’t know that someone that would fearlessly face death head-on like Umemiya Hajime actually exists.
“Me? Scared? Of you? Are you asking me this for real, Suo?”
Suo never expected him and Umemiya would become this close now – sitting on Suo’s bed, door’s locked, centimeters apart from each other, warm smiles carved on each other’s faces, fingers intertwined with Suo’s gloves as the only thing that separated their fingers from touching.
Suo never expected that Umemiya would be the one who touched him – he still clearly remembers the day when Umemiya reached out his hand to help Suo who accidentally fell from the stairs; during the days when he’s still adjusting to see with only one eye – his uncontrolled powers even took his own organs’ life force, disabling his right eye for life. Amidst all the ignorance from everyone – Suo couldn’t blame them, who would want to touch him and risk their lives? – and yet, Umemiya was there; grabbing his hand and pulling him up like it’s nothing - before sweeping Suo off his feet into his toned arms, to run towards the infirmary, carrying Suo on his arms while festering Suo with so many “are you okay? Does it hurt?” even though both knew that they are bulletproof mutants.
Umemiya has never been scared of him – and maybe that’s why Suo let himself fell.
Maybe that’s why Suo pushed his windows open – allowing Umemiya to play his cards and seeps sweetly into his heart; letting Umemiya know about his past, about his fear of himself, about his curse. Countless chats at the rooftop and under the oak tree have turned into intertwined fingers, leaning cheeks on shoulders, arms around backs. And Umemiya has always been brave — proudly showing off the growing streaks of white on Umemiya’s black locks that glows every time they touch, always pulling Suo closer every time he notices it and tries to pull away from Umemiya, cheering Suo up whenever he’s drowning in guilt from taking Umemiya’s life force.
Even when Suo rejected his kiss a week ago - his heart was so ready to be dumped by Umemiya that afternoon - Umemiya only laughed, and tightened his grip on his gloved hand. Even after Suo blurted about his inability to control his power and how he almost killed a boy from kissing him last year, Umemiya only grinned, and said, “Then, let’s practice to not kill me!”
“Suo Hayato.”
The mention of his name brings Suo back to the present – to his room, alone with Umemiya, hands intertwined as they’re sitting in front of each other on Suo’s mattress. Something that he would never do, if not for Umemiya’s bravery.
“Yes?”
“You look distraught.” says Umemiya, his beautiful blue irises checking every corners of Suo’s face, “if you don’t want to do this, I’m fine. I don’t want to push you.”
“No, I want to.” says Suo firmly, fingers tightening around Umemiya’s,
“...I want to kiss you.”
The grin on Umemiya’s face was as warm as the morning sunlight that seeps through the small gaps in your window – so warm, that it feels like the looming dark shadow of fears on the window of Suo’s soul slowly subsides as Suo moves closer, closing the gap between them by centimeters.
“Don’t worry, this is a practice.” Umemiya whispers on Suo’s lips, drowning the sounds of Suo’s erratic heartbeat, “you can make mistakes all you want.
“I’m all yours.”
The sun strikes so bright when their lips met — Suo feels the warmth seeping, dripping inside of him when Umemiya pulls him closer and opens his lips more; the fear is no longer there, swallowed by the sweet taste of Umemiya’s lips - wiped away by Umemiya’s tongue. With a soft push, Suo falls back on his bed, Umemiya on top of him, taking Suo’s gloves off – fingers holding each other’s faces, not wanting to let go; not wanting to stop.
Suo was the first to pull away for breath, his eyes slowly opens – the sight of Umemiya’s glistening lips was the first thing that he saw;
before his eyes fall on the white strands of Umemiya’s hair; the traces of black on his locks have almost gone completely.
In shock, Suo grabs Umemiya's shoulder, to push Umemiya away and sits up – ignoring all the “Wha- why, Suo?” from Umemiya, until Umemiya grabs his chin and lifts his face upwards.
“Why? What happened? I’m fine, Suo.”
“No, you’re not. Look at the mirror.”
Suo watches Umemiya’s dilated pupils as he sees his new reflection, and Suo can feel the dark shadow loom over his windows again – this time, it laughs so loud that it deafens Suo, feeding on his thought that this is the end, this is where he lost Umemiya.
Suo has never been more scared than this.
“Huh.” mumbles Umemiya as he runs his fingers through his new hair, while Suo inhales in fear,
“ damn , I look hot.”
The laugh inside his head abruptly ends, and Suo lifts his eyes up again.
“Wha-”
“Look.”
In front of him, Umemiya lifts their intertwined hands — where Suo no longer wears his gloves.
“If you weren’t able to control your powers, I would already become all wrinkled and old – with you touching me directly in all places.” mutters Umemiya with a smile – despite the white hair, the youth still glows on him, “but now, all I got is white hair. That’s a damn good control, Suo. Let’s try again and perfect it.”
“But what will happen if we continue?” says Suo, voice trembling, “what if it gets worse, what if- if you-”
“Die?” asks Umemiya so nonchalantly, with a grin that is so bright it furrows Suo’s eyebrows in disbelief, as he moves closer and hold Suo in his place,
“I don’t mind if it’s for you.”
Suo still can’t believe that someone like Umemiya Hajime actually exists.
“But I know you would do anything to not make me die, right, Suo?”
Someone, who still wants to be with him when death’s waiting at the corner – someone, who still embraces him, and kisses him again, and again, and again until they lost track of time; until the shadow has completely gone, leaving warm afternoon sunshine as the only thing that hovers around Suo’s window.
And when the shadows of fear has completely gone, Suo opens his eye - to see Umemiya smiling; just like him — alive, and in love.
“How should I explain this new look to mom and dad?” whispers Umemiya in Suo’ lips, before both boys laughs and leans closer.
“Easy.” answers Suo as once again, he closes the gap – but this time, fearless,
“Tell them we want to grow old together.”