Chapter Text
Craig was staring again.
Tweek shifted his position on Craig and Jimmy’s small, decrepit couch, Clyde’s knee almost hitting him in the face from where he sat on top of it. He was trying to pay attention to whatever Tolkien was saying, but it was hard to concentrate when he could feel Craig’s eyes on him from the other side of the couch. It was so fucking uncomfortable.
He had been weird ever since Tweek met his friends and started hanging out. It was stressful as fuck. Even though Craig had been the one to ask Tweek to meet them, he was the one who seemed the most uncomfortable. And being up against Tweek, it was actually kind of impressive on his part.
Tweek did have to wonder if Craig regretted introducing him. Despite his anxiety, Craig’s friends were nice, if overwhelming. It was kind of funny actually, seeing a quiet guy like Craig surrounded by extroverts.
They were all supposed to hang out once, just to appease Clyde. But after their first meeting, Craig had told Tweek that the three of them kept asking him to bring him back. He wasn’t sure how true that was, but Tolkien and Jimmy never seemed disappointed to see him. They seemed… excited too? Maybe. Tweek couldn’t tell.
They didn’t seem to hate him, at the very least. So he figured that maybe that was a good sign?
Tweek thought they would hate him, after everything that had happened between him and Craig. God. That was another issue.
Him and Craig. It was… It was strange. They were in a weird spot. Tweek didn’t really like thinking about it, but he couldn’t help it, especially with how Craig was staring at him. They were dating. He thought. Technically. They had been on dates, plural. At first, Tweek wasn’t sure when hanging out was a Date, or when it was just them Hanging Out. But then Craig started asking Tweek at the beginning of certain hang outs if he was okay with it being a date. And Tweek couldn’t lie, it was helpful. They had been on… several dates. It had been since August, so Tweek kind of lost count.
But they weren’t, like, together-together. They weren’t official or anything. They weren’t… boyfriends. Just thinking about it made Tweek feel a strange, sick feeling. Relationships only led to marriage, breakups, or death. And all of those options scared the fuck out of Tweek.
Craig wanted to talk to him about it, Tweek could tell. He had tried a few times. But he always changed the subject, very not subtly.
And he felt bad. Really, he did! Craig always seemed sad about Tweek’s hesitation, even if it didn’t really show. Tweek was pretty sure he was getting better at reading him.
He really liked Craig. He liked him too much, probably. Putting a label would feel too real. It wouldn’t be good- for either of them!
For fucks sake, Tweek didn’t even know what Craig told his friends about their “relationship”! He introduced Tweek as his friend and Clyde’s roommate.
He didn’t want to fuck anything up. Really, he didn’t. It seemed like a lose-lose situation. Tweek had already almost ruined everything, and putting an official label on what “they were” added an entire new layer of pressure. He didn’t think he could handle that.
He really did like Craig way too fucking much.
Oh, god. Wait. Everyone was laughing. Tweek needed to react. He forced out a soft laugh, hoping nobody noticed that he wasn’t paying attention.
“It’s not funny!” Clyde cried out, kicking his feet forward. Tweek leaned slightly away so he wouldn’t get kicked in the head. “How was I supposed to know it wasn’t actually alcoholic?!”
Oh, the conversation was way different. Last Tweek remembered, Tolkien was talking about the library. Jesus, how long had he been zoned out? Fuck, what were they talking about now?
“Because it’s a Shirley Temple, dude,” Tolkien piped up from the kitchen, shaking his head. “The drink that’s famously non-alcoholic.”
“I was 13! Craig was just an asshole! Why are you all laughing at me instead of calling him a dick?”
Craig probably made Clyde a Shirley Temple when they were kids and made Clyde think he was drunk. Okay. That made sense. Tweek hoped to god he was right.
“It’s not my fault you were stupid enough to believe me.”
“No offense, Clyde, but I r-r-r-really wouldn’t trust anyth-thing he said. We alr-r-ready know he’s an asshole,” Jimmy pointed out, lazily leaning back in their recliner. His crutches were against the wall, set carefully so they wouldn’t fall. He had eaten half of a pot brownie an hour ago, but Tweek wasn’t really sure if he was high yet or not. He seemed relaxed, but Jimmy always seemed to be pretty chill.
Tweek was kind of jealous.
“Yeah, dude. We aren’t surprised Craig did that.”
Clyde stuck his tongue out at them both before turning to Tweek, desperation in his eyes. Ew. He was pouting. Fucking gross.
“Come on, bro, help me here. Please defend me.”
Tweek shifted awkwardly, uncomfortable under everyone’s eyes. God, he really didn’t want to defend Clyde, he was so annoying. But Clyde wasn’t his friend, he was theirs, that meant he couldn’t be mean to him. “I, uh. Um. I mean. You were, gah, 13. Right? I guess that… makes sense?”
Everyone groaned, apart from Clyde, who cheered loudly, punching the air. Tweek cringed from their apparent disapproval, but really, what was he supposed to do? It’s one thing to make fun of your own friends, at least, from Tweek’s experience hanging out with the four of them. But Tweek definitely couldn’t say anything. It wasn’t his place.
“Fuck you all!” Clyde gloated, reaching over to put his arm around Tweek. “Tweek’s my new best friend!”
Tolkien laughed as he came back from the kitchen, new beer in hand. “Damn. I don’t know who I feel worse for. Craig, for being replaced, or Tweek, for being the replacement.”
Jimmy laughed loudly at that, but Craig just rolled his eyes. Tweek hated this, he always felt so weird around Craig’s friends. He hated being touched, it made his skin crawl. He awkwardly tried pulling away, but Clyde wasn’t letting him.
“Feel worse for Tweek, I’m finally free.”
“You’re so mean to me,” Clyde whined, leaning closer to Tweek. He fucking hated it. “I’m telling Laura.”
Laura? Oh, wait. That was Craig’s mom. Laura Tucker. Craig had told him that she was nice, if a bit protective. He said that it could get annoying. Tweek figured that Craig had more experience than he did, so he was probably right.
Clyde lowered himself from the top of the couch to sit right between Craig and Tweek. His arm didn’t leave Tweek’s shoulder, he only pulled him even closer, their cheeks almost touching. Tweek felt hives coming in, this was way closer to Clyde than he had ever wanted.
“You’re not telling Ma anything, fuck off,” Craig scowled. He immediately looked at Tweek, who was still sitting stiffly. “Tweek.”
He gulped, grasping onto his shirt, desperately trying to free himself from Clyde’s tight hold. “Ack! Um. Yeah?”
Craig’s mouth turned downwards into a subtle frown. His eyebrows were furrowed, his bottom lip sticking slightly out. God. Wait. Shit. Was he fucking pouting?
“Tell Clyde you aren’t his best friend.”
Tweek’s eyes narrowed, and he was at a loss for words. Craig was so weird. He was definitely pouting, but Tweek wasn’t really sure why. Was he mad that Clyde was “replacing” him? He knew Craig didn’t actually hate him, but still. He seemed pretty upset over something that was clearly a joke.
“Uhm-”
“Stop trying to turn him against me! Laura’s going to be pissed when I tell her!”
Tweek shifted awkwardly at that. He didn’t really think Clyde would, but god, that would be uncomfortable. God. Had Craig even mentioned him to his family? He didn’t know whether he wanted him to or not.
Craig finally rolled his eyes before getting up, grabbing onto Clyde’s arm. He gave Tweek a brief, apologetic look before dragging Clyde away to the kitchen. Despite the protests. Even though the apartment wasn’t that big, they were quiet enough where Tweek couldn’t hear them. He adjusted where he sat, thankful that Clyde wasn’t holding onto him anymore.
He glanced at Tolkien and Jimmy, swallowing nervously. They were nice, like Craig kept telling him, and Tweek actually liked them a lot! But it was still always weird to be alone with them. Really, the only one he didn’t always feel weird around was currently in the kitchen, maybe scolding his probably best friend.
Tolkien and Jimmy didn’t really seem to notice, or mind.
Jimmy giggled before leaning back farther in the recliner, while Tolkien just shook his head fondly.
“God. It’s like they get worse the older we are. We’re 20. Why are they still acting like this?”
“Why do you th-th-think?” Jimmy snorted, gesturing towards Tweek, beer in hand.
He stiffened again as Tolkien laughed. “You're not wrong. They did get worse after Tweek started hanging out with us.”
“Oh.” Tweek looked away, awkwardly tapping his knees. God, why did he agree to meet Craig’s friends? He was ruining everything. “I’m, uh. Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Jimmy shrugged. “It’s not your fault th-they’re dumbasses.”
“Yeah, we’re used to them being stupid, don’t worry about it. They’re probably just fighting over the shiny new toy or something. Clyde’s excited that his roommate is finally hanging out with us. And Craig…” Tolkien trailed off, looking back at Jimmy. “Actually. Do you know what Craig’s deal is? He’s been weird since meeting Tweek. No offense,” he added, glancing back at him. “He’s just always an asshole, so it’s weird when he isn’t.”
Tweek was awkwardly frozen, heartbeat picking up. He grabbed onto his shirt again, holding his breath. He hoped to god they wouldn’t be weird or ask questions. He didn’t know what Craig told them, so he didn’t know how he would answer.
“Tweek’s just his new favorite,” Jimmy didn’t seem all that concerned. “He likes him more th-th-than he likes us.”
Tolkien laughed at that as Tweek’s face shifted into horror.
“No, no, no!” he shrieked, gesturing wildly. He could not have Craig’s friends hate him. “I’m, gah, I’m not his new favorite! It’s nothing, ack, like that!”
Craig and Clyde finally came back in, Clyde pouting and Craig looking… pleased? Maybe? His expression was pretty blank, as usual, but he didn’t seem annoyed like earlier.
Craig took the opportunity to sit directly next to Tweek. He was grateful, that meant Clyde couldn’t. Clyde whined at the action, but didn’t try to actually argue, simply opting to sit on Craig’s other side.
“What were you all talking about?” Craig asked, resting his hand way too close to Tweek’s. They were almost touching. It was going to give him hives. Tweek pulled his hand farther away, not wanting to risk it. He would just die of embarrassment if they accidentally touched hands in front of Craig’s friends.
“Just about how you like Tweek more than the rest of us.”
Tweek cringed, grabbing onto his jeans. God, he wanted to die. He really, really hoped that Craig wouldn’t say anything fucking weird, he didn’t know if he could handle that.
He anxiously glanced at Craig to gauge his reaction. Blank face, Tweek expected that. Craig noticed and looked back at him, making him gulp and look down at his torn jeans, fiddling with the strands of fabric. He felt his face burn, and he prayed that he wasn’t red. Or, if he was, for Craig’s friends to not notice.
“Oh, okay,” he simply said in response. No denying. No weirded out reaction. Just. Acceptance. Craig was so fucking weird, it drove Tweek crazy. He didn’t know why Craig wasn’t denying it. He pulled a loose string from the hole over his knee, if only for a distraction. He hated this so much.
“What?!” Clyde gasped, eyes widening. “Tweek can’t be your favorite! I’m your best friend!”
Craig rolled his eyes, looking back over to Tweek. “Yeah, no. You’re definitely my favorite out of everyone in this room.”
Tweek started tapping his fingers against his knee again. God. How was he supposed to respond to any of this?! It was like Craig was setting him up for failure with his friends. His friends who still didn’t know they were (technically) dating!
“God, we know. We all know,” Tolkien chuckled. “You and Clyde are insufferable, not even letting Tweek talk.” Craig and Clyde both started to protest against that, but Tolkien ignored them, only looking at Tweek. “Tweek, finals are coming up. How are you feeling about them? Are you excited for winter break? Do you have plans?”
Oh god. Questions. Plural. Directed at him. Fuck. Okay. He could do this.
He took a deep breath, fidgeting with his jeans again. “I’m always, um, worried. About school. Tests. I have to perform a, gah, piano piece. It’s supposed to be in front of the class, but I, uh, I have the option to do it privately. So. That’s. That’s good, at least. Uhm. For break, it’s whatever. I’m staying at the dorm. I’ll still be, ack, working, so I can make a little extra money. I’m just excited to not worry about classes for a month.”
Everyone was looking at him, he fucking hated it. He hated talking in a group. Too many people watching him. Too many people that were able to possibly misunderstand him and then hate him and want him dead.
“You’re staying over br-reak?” Jimmy asked before taking a drink of his beer. “Why?”
He froze, really not sure what to say. He already felt weird, he would’ve felt even fucking weirder telling them. Craig glanced at him before clearing his throat.
“Um. Tolkien. What about you? Where’s your family going this Christmas? Paris or something?”
Tolkien eyed Craig suspiciously, glancing at Tweek, but he didn’t say anything. He was grateful for the spotlight to fade.
“Bahamas, actually. Paris will be next year.”
That made Clyde go on a whole spiel about how they should take him. Tweek kind of zoned out, only looking at Craig.
He really was nice, despite the shit his friends gave him. Tweek hadn’t really ever had somebody who could notice he was uncomfortable and help with it. It was like he actually saw Tweek. Maybe that wasn’t the right expression. Tweek wouldn’t know. The entire situation was weird. It made him… he didn’t really know. There was definitely a feeling. An incredibly uncomfortable feeling.
Butterflies? Is that what he felt? Was this what people meant?
Whatever it was, it made Tweek feel sick. Craig was so… considerate. It made his stomach turn. It was still hard to believe Craig liked him, even if they had been technically dating since August.
He still felt bad about that.
Craig turned, eyes widening when he saw that Tweek was already looking at him. Jesus Christ. This was so fucking embarrassing. His face heated up, and he contemplated death.
“Did you hear that last part, Tweek?”
He gulped. Oh god. They knew he wasn’t paying attention. They were going to hate him forever. They were going to quiz him on the conversation and then kill him on the spot when he failed.
“No,” he squeaked, preparing for the firing squad.
Craig’s face was so soft, it made Tweek sick. “It’s almost 10, didn’t you want to study a bit more tonight?”
He jumped slightly, checking his phone. 9:53. Fuck.
“Oh, god, shit. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I have to, ack, go! Sorry!” He got up from the couch, holding his phone tightly. He looked around the room awkwardly, feeling hot from causing a scene. Everyone was looking at him. Judging him. He could tell. He fucking hated himself so much. He had to get the fuck out of there. “Um. Thanks for, you know. Letting me hang out? Okay, uh, bye.”
He made a beeline for the door, not paying attention to their reactions. He felt like he was about to throw up.
He didn’t know how long it took him to get outside. He might have been suppressing a panic attack the entire time. But the freezing cold air and snow made him remember that it was fucking cold and snowing.
And he left his fucking coat in the apartment. Fucking hell.
Craig had managed to convince him to get a coat. He picked up extra shifts, and tips had been better that particular week, so Craig dragged him to a store and made him buy a good coat. Not a shitty one that Tweek could say was technically a coat, but wouldn’t actually help. Not that Tweek would have, but Craig had ideas that Tweek was “self-sabotaging” or some other shit he said. Shit that didn’t make sense because Craig was not majoring in Psychology, so Tweek didn’t know what the hell he thought he was talking about.
Tweek put his arms around himself, shaking his head frantically as he tried to warm himself up.
Jesus Christ. It was so cold. Why the fuck did he leave like that?! That was so fucking weird! Why did he do that?! Was he stupid?! God fucking dammit. He was. He was a stupid asshole.
He muttered angrily to himself as he started walking back to his residency hall. He barely made it a couple of steps before the door to the building opened, Clyde and Craig arguing as they exited.
“She said I was always welcome!” Clyde whined, tugging on Craig’s arm.
“She lied,” Craig deadpanned before looking over towards Tweek, smiling subtly. He walked over without Clyde, who was still pouting. He held his arm out, and Tweek only realized then that he was holding the coat he forgot.
Tweek smiled sheepishly and took it back, awkwardly putting it on. Despite his embarrassment, he immediately felt better. Craig was too nice to him.
“Thanks. Sorry I just. Left. Do your friends, gah, hate me now?”
“They don’t. They still like you.”
Clyde finally approached, slinging an arm around Tweek’s shoulder again. He tensed up, but Clyde didn’t notice. “Yeah, man, we like having you there. Thanks for coming! I love having bro nights with my bros.”
Craig grimaced, taking Clyde’s arm off of Tweek, ignoring his protest. Tweek awkwardly nodded, looking at Clyde.
“Uhm. Are you going back to the dorm too?”
“Yeah, why not? I still have a paper I need to write.”
Oh god. Clyde was insufferable when he worked. Tweek felt his eye start to twitch, so he looked back at Craig, desperate to calm down. Craig seemed to help with that, Tweek still wasn’t used to it.
“Thanks again for, ack, bringing my coat down. I, uh. I really appreciate it.”
Craig smiled. Fuck. Tweek hated it when Craig smiled, he was so pretty. Tweek didn’t know what to do with himself.
“No problem.”
He didn’t say anything else, just stood there happily, looking down at Tweek. He felt hives. Why was Craig just staring at him? He was such a freak. It was even worse because Clyde was still there. Just watching them.
“Well. I. I better go now-”
“I can walk you to your dorm.”
Tweek froze for a moment, tilting his head. “Huh? What? You don’t have to.”
He just kept smiling. “I want to.”
He said it so sincerely it made Tweek sick. Had Craig forgotten Clyde was fully watching them? He was so fucking stupid, Tweek was pretty sure Craig hadn’t said anything to his friends, so he didn’t know why he was being so weird in front of them.
“Hell yeah!” Clyde cheered. He tried putting his arm around Craig, but he was too tall. So instead Clyde just patted his back. Tweek guessed Craig was lucky that Clyde was stupid. “More bro time!”
Craig rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything, only started walking.
Tweek and Clyde joined, but it didn’t take long for Clyde to get distracted by something on the sidewalk. Craig and Tweek kept walking. Clyde could catch up. It was fine.
Tweek uncomfortably glanced up at Craig. He couldn’t really talk to him while Clyde was around, even if he was kind of far behind them. It just felt weird.
“Thanks for coming tonight,” Craig said, breaking the silence. “I appreciate it. I know that Clyde isn’t the easiest to be around.”
He looked behind to see if Clyde heard, but he obviously hadn’t. He was looking intently at the sidewalk. Tweek just sighed and looked back at Craig.
“It’s okay. It wasn’t that bad. Sorry I’m always, gah, weird around your friends. I just never know what to say to them, because if I talk too much then I’ll scare them away or something. I just don’t want them to hate me, but I’m afraid that they’ll think I’m a dick, or something. It’s too much pressure.”
“I know, If it helps, they really don’t hate you. Like I said, they like you. I think they think you’re scared of them.”
Tweek frowned, picking at his nails. “I mean. I am. But I don’t want them, ngh, to know that. But I guess it’s kind of obvious. Fuck. God, they don’t think I hate them, do they?”
He shrugged. “I don’t think so. They don’t talk about you like they think you hate them.”
Tweek’s blood ran cold and he grabbed onto Craig’s arm, his heartbeat quickening. “They, gah, talk about me?!”
Craig grimaced. Oh god. They talked about him! Jesus Christ what were they saying about him? Jesus. Fuck. If they talked about him in front of Craig, they definitely talked about him in private. Probably about everything they hated about him!
“Only a little. They do like you though. Promise. They just wish you felt more comfortable. They’re interested in what you have to say. They want to get to know you more.”
Tweek grunted, letting go of Craig’s arm. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Craig’s friends were nice. They didn’t say anything about his shitty ass fucking name when they first met him. Jimmy made a few jokes, but none at Tweek’s expense. Tolkien seemed genuinely interested in his major. Clyde… was there. And Craig…
God. Craig really was the closest thing to perfect Tweek had ever seen.
It was insanely stressful. And embarrassing. Because Craig wasn’t perfect. Nobody was. But every time Tweek was around him, it was like he forgot that. He hated the effect Craig had on him. He was just a guy, he shouldn’t make Tweek feel so weird. The thoughts Tweek had around him were almost parasitic. It made him feel sick, like something was wrong with him.
Craig was an asshole for doing this to him. And he didn’t even know. Fucking jerk.
“Guys, I found teeth!” Clyde called from behind them.
They both turned around to look at him, Tweek gagging when he saw Clyde holding up a pair of dirty, obviously old, dentures.
“Why the fuck are you holding those? Put those down!” Craig chastised. Clyde pouted, still holding them. “Down. Now!”
Clyde backed away, not putting them down.
“Clyde. Those are disgusting. Put them down.”
His frown deepened. It seemed like he was about to argue, but he just groaned and threw it back on the ground, which couldn’t have been good for the environment.
They kept walking, and Tweek could hear Clyde kicking rocks and muttering behind them.
“I feel like I’m out walking my dog,” Craig grumbled, shaking his head. “God, fucking dumbass. Anyways. You really don’t have anything you’re doing during break?”
“Nope. Fuck going back home, man. I can’t handle that.”
He nodded. “You’ll just be working?”
“Yeah.”
Craig nodded again. He glanced back at Clyde, frowning slightly. “It’s annoying that he’s behind us.”
“Oh. Why?”
“If he was in front of us, I could hold your hand.”
He said it so casually, Tweek immediately wanted to die. His face felt so hot, he didn’t know how the fuck Craig could say such embarrassing things. Sure, Tweek did want to hold Craig’s hand. But how could Craig say that?! It was sick!
“You’re so weird,” Tweek muttered, keeping his eyes down on the sidewalk, not wanting to look at him. He might actually die if he did. “I don’t know how you can, gah, say those things so easily. It’s embarrassing.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Wait, no, not like that!” he panicked, eyes widening. He turned back towards him, waving his hands frantically. Craig’s face was blank, but Tweek worried that he was upset. He would die if he made Craig upset over stupid shit. “I don’t, ack, mean it like you’re embarrassing! I mean. You kind of are, but you just make me feel embarrassed! Uhm. You as a person. Not embarrassing. You saying you want to- god. I’m an asshole. I don’t know, gah, what I even mean at this point. You make me nervous.”
Tweek kept his eyes on Craig, trying to gauge if he was upset or offended by what he said. But he simply smiled.
“You’re cute.”
Tweek groaned, turning away again. His face burned from the compliment. He felt so sick, he didn’t know how Craig could just… say that. “Clyde might be able to hear you.”
“He can’t, don’t worry.”
Tweek eyed him, huffing softly. He wanted to ask what exactly his friends knew, but then Craig might take the chance to ask what they were again. And Tweek really didn’t want to have that conversation.
They got to the residence hall fairly quickly, and Clyde went in immediately, thank god. At least Tweek could maybe have a few minutes to himself.
“So.”
Tweek looked up at Craig, scratching his arm. He looked nervous. Why did he look nervous? God, was he about to tell Tweek that he actually hated him?! No. No. No. Craig liked Tweek. Just a few moments ago, he told Tweek he wanted to hold his hand. He wouldn’t want to hold the hand of someone he hated.
Craig didn’t say anything, just kept looking at him with that slightly nervous, mostly blank stare. He was so strange. Tweek desperately wanted to know what the fuck he was thinking.
He shifted, fidgeting with his coat’s zipper. Craig wasn’t saying anything, and he was fucking cold. “I, uh. I better go inside.”
“Oh,” he blinked, shaking his head. “Yeah. I guess.”
“It was. Um, it was… fun today. I. I had a good time. Mostly. It was fun.”
Craig smiled softly. “Good. Uh, are we still on for Saturday?”
Tweek felt his face grow warm at the question, he didn’t know how Craig was so comfortable just asking. Saturday they were going on another Date. A real date, rather than just do what they did while regularly hanging out. They were going mini golfing. That was an activity, which made it feel more date-like.
Not that Tweek minded the casual ‘dates’. There was less pressure. It was hanging out with occasional hand holding, which made Tweek feel like dying the first fifty something times, but he had finally learned to tolerate it! Sometimes it still made him want to gnaw his hand off, but he could mostly ignore those thoughts and almost enjoy the hand holding.
He nodded, biting at his nail. “Stan tried to get me to cover for him but I, ack, told him I had plans.”
His smile grew. Jesus fucking Christ.
It was dark, but the streetlights lit him enough for Tweek to still see him. Even with the terrible lighting, he was beautiful. Tweek couldn’t stand it. Craig was smart, and nice, and kind of funny sometimes, and beautiful. So goddamn beautiful. And mortifyingly hot. How the actual fuck did he like Tweek?!
It almost felt unfair. This guy was amazing. He was amazing and he liked Tweek. He was amazing and he liked Tweek, and Tweek knew that he would never deserve it. It was like the world had let them meet just in order to taunt him. It was terrible.
He wanted to be around Craig all the time and never see him again. He was driving him fucking crazy.
Tweek felt like he needed to say something, but he wasn’t sure what. The words weren’t coming to him, so he was left with a strangely empty feeling.
Craig didn’t seem to notice, he just kept looking at Tweek with that fucking face he always made. Tweek wasn’t sure what the fuck it meant. It was almost infuriating. It felt like it should’ve been condescending or patronizing, but it wasn’t. It made him want his insides to collapse.
“Cool. I’m looking forward to it.”
Tweek forced a small smile, shifting awkwardly. “Well… um. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
He walked up to the door, pausing before he went inside. He turned around to see Craig still there, hands in his coat pockets, smiling softly at Tweek. He waved uncomfortably at Craig, who returned it with an amused smile, before he went inside the building, grateful for the heat that welcomed him.
The rest of his night consisted of taking notes, ignoring Clyde as best as he could. He liked to make noises while he worked, and if Tweek had to do any specific assignment, he wouldn’t have even stayed in the room. He would’ve been in the common room all night.
Eventually, Clyde went to bed, and Tweek sat in the dark. He was taking a break from studying, quietly sipping on a cup of coffee.
He was on his phone, eyes squinting from the still too bright screen, as he scrolled through his messages with Craig. They had been texting every day since they exchanged numbers, it was kind of hard for Tweek to believe. Even on days he felt absolutely terrible, he couldn’t just not respond to Craig. Tweek didn’t want Craig to think he was mad or something.
He smiled softly reading one of Craig’s failed attempts to be funny. God, he really was cute. Tweek still wasn’t used to someone wanting to talk to him. But Craig did.
He wasn’t sure if they’d still talk while Craig was gone.
Tweek wondered how winter break would feel this time. Summer brought him a new feeling of loneliness. He figured that he should be grateful to finally have someone to miss. And he kind of was. But summer…
Not seeing Craig made it easier for Tweek to be more honest with him. It helped him feel more comfortable explaining his thought process and some mental stuff. Tweek avoided telling him about the official diagnoses. He just talked about the symptoms, and hoped that it would work.
And Craig mostly didn’t get it. He got some of it! But the paranoia and anxiety were a lot. Tweek honestly wasn’t expecting him to get it. Craig was trying, despite not having to. Tweek appreciated the thought.
So summer was hard, but it was probably needed.
But Christmas was the worst. It was Tweek’s least favorite holiday. Working was a fucking nightmare. People sucked so much during Christmas. Even more than usual. And the music. Oh god. He’d have to listen to the same seven fucking songs on repeat, it was unbearable.
Craig and his friends almost seemed concerned when they heard Tweek was staying over break. But he was perfectly happy to not celebrate with anybody. He never really did, anyways. His parents only cared about Christmas because it meant holiday-themed drinks and desserts, that Tweek had to come up with single-handedly! It was exhausting. Staying at the university was a deluxe vacation compared to what he’d have to do at home.
Even so, he was admittedly worried. Craig was a breath of fresh air during summer, despite how tired Tweek was. But he wasn’t going home during winter break. He’d just be alone. Craig would probably be too busy to message Tweek any. Which was fine! Craig had his own life! Tweek wasn’t, like, obsessed with him, or anything! It was just… lonely.
He sighed, looking out of the window at the snow falling down. He would deal with it. He was just being a baby. Break would be fine. Tweek could deal with not hearing from Craig for a few days.
Christmas music sucked. Christmas sucked.
Being lonely sucked.
“And- quick side note- the emotion chip arc actually doesn’t make any sense, because Data does have emotions. Everyone tells him he doesn’t have them, so he thinks he doesn’t, but he does. The writers are just wrong.”
Tweek nodded, taking a sip from his coffee. Craig had been talking about Star Trek for two hours now. Almost entirely about Data, who was clearly his favorite. They had finished the mini golf course, and it was nice. More fun than he expected. He was never even close to a panic attack! Tweek technically won, but he was pretty sure Craig let him, despite his denial.
They had been in a diner for the past hour. A booth in the corner, where not many people were. Craig did order things occasionally, and it wasn’t super busy, so the employees didn’t seem to care they were there.
Tweek tried contributing to the conversation, but he hadn’t really seen Star Trek, so the most he could do was just blindly agree with whatever Craig said. Tweek didn’t really think Craig minded, he just seemed happy to be talking about it. And Tweek was happy to listen to him talk.
“He has a cat that he loves, and I guess the emotions chip arc lets him express that, but that’s the only good thing about it. Anyways. Are you having fun?”
“I am. It’s been a good day.” He took another drink. It was really different from the coffee his parents made, but it was still good. “Sorry I can’t talk about Star Trek with you.”
“That’s okay. Thanks for listening. If you ever want to watch it, just let me know. I have DVD sets with bonus features and behind the scenes content. It’s really cool.”
He smiled softly and nodded. He didn’t know if he’d ever take Craig up on that offer, but it was still nice of him.
A soft notification made Craig suddenly pause, checking his phone. After a moment, he nodded and looked back at Tweek. His demeanor had definitely changed, his posture had suddenly straightened a bit, like he was tense.
“So. I have something to ask. It’s nothing bad. You’ll also probably say no, I just wanted to check.”
Tweek was fucking glad Craig said it was nothing bad because otherwise he might have had a goddamn heart attack. And honestly, that was still an option. He just gulped, his heart beating faster, as he tried to steady his breathing. He fucking hated how he got anxious over every single fucking thing. It was so fucking embarrassing.
“What’s up?”
He hesitated. “Well, I was just wondering. I know you don’t want to go back home for winter break. And I get that. But if you didn’t want to stay here, you could always come with me back home.”
He paused. What the fuck?
“Like. Stay with you? At your house?”
“That’s the idea.”
“With your family?”
“Technically. But it wouldn’t be, like, you meeting my parents as anything more than a friend. I’m offering this because you are my friend, and I don’t want you to have to be alone. But like I said, you can say no.”
He slowly chewed on a fry, a sick feeling in his stomach. He tapped his fingers one at a time, counting as he did. He took a deep breath before sighing, scratching at his arm. Why did Craig have to exist? Why did he have to exist so close to Tweek? He couldn’t stand it.
“Uhm. I think that would be... I don’t want to ruin your all’s holiday or anything.”
“If it helps, Ma said you could.”
“You already asked?”
Craig shrugged. “Yeah. I figured she’d say yes, but I wanted to make sure it would be okay before offering. Ma loves guests. And she loves Christmas. She’s always happy to host.”
Tweek chewed on the inside of his cheek. Oh god. He was stuck. Craig’s mom loved hosting. So would it be rude of Tweek to decline the offer?! But imposing on a family holiday would also be rude!
“You can say no,” Craig said gently, clearly noticing his hesitation. “No one will be mad at you, regardless of your decision. If you need time, you can think about it.”
Tweek nodded, fidgeting with his sleeve. “Yeah, I’ll, uh. I’ll think about it.”
He knew he was going to say no, but saying that he would think about it was always better than just saying no.
“Cool,” Craig smiled, setting his hand on the table, so unbearably close to Tweek’s. He did that sometimes when he wanted to hold hands, but wasn’t sure if Tweek did. Put his hand close, not quite touching. That way Tweek had to take the action if he wanted to. It was so considerate and embarrassing and cute.
Tweek’s face became warm as he awkwardly looped his pinkie finger around Craig’s. His face lit up, it was too fucking endearing, Tweek couldn’t stand it.
“Anyways, if you do want to come, you can. I’d introduce you as my friend so you don’t feel as weird about it. Christmases are usually fun; Ma just gets really excited and wants everyone to do things together. You wouldn’t have to, though.”
“It would be rude if I didn’t,” he mumbled, taking another gulp of coffee. God, he really needed his parents to send him more. He was almost out, and that would be… a nightmare. Literal hell on Earth.
Tweek sighed, shaking his head. He didn’t want to keep thinking about Christmas. He hated Christmas. He looked back at Craig, his mouth tilting slightly up.
“So. They gave Data an emotions chip? Even though he has emotions?”
Craig’s face lit up, and he immediately started rambling about Data again. Tweek didn’t completely understand it, but Craig was really cute when he talked about his nerd stuff. All Tweek knew was that everyone on the Enterprise was really sad. And Data was the best character.
God, Craig was cute.
Tweek rushed out of the lecture hall, adjusting his bag’s strap so it wouldn’t dig into his shoulder as harshly. He really needed a new bag. But god. He didn’t want to have to spend money.
The lecture had run over time, so he was already late to meet with Craig. They were supposed to meet at the benches near the vending machines after their classes.
The campus was kind of beautiful in the snow, but it was still cold as fuck. He silently thanked Craig for making him buy a coat as he hurried towards the meeting spot.
“Tweek, hey Tweek!” He heard someone call his name, and he jumped, looking around frantically. The voice had a lisp, but it clearly wasn’t Craig, so he didn’t know who the fuck it was.
Eventually a shorter guy approached him, a goofy smile on his face. Tweek froze, almost taking a step back before eyeing him. He looked… vaguely familiar? He had some freckles, but Tweek had a hard time remembering who he was.
“You dropped your book,” he chirped, holding out Tweek’s textbook. Oh fuck.
He shrieked, grabbing it immediately and pulling it towards his chest. He held onto it tightly, not wanting to risk somehow losing it again.
“Shit, oh my god! Thank you!”
“No problem! You seemed like you were in a rush, but I didn’t want you to leave without it.”
Okay, this guy was in Tweek’s class. That’s why he was familiar. It made sense. This guy saved Tweek’s life. And he didn’t know his name. He was an asshole
“Thanks. Really. Thank you so much, oh my god,” he sighed from relief. “Fuck, all of my notes are, gah, in here! God, I would’ve been fucked, thank you!”
“Hey, Tweek,” Craig’s voice came from behind him. He turned around to smile softly at him, but he was scowling.
Tweek immediately felt his insides start to itch. Fuck, why was he upset? Did Tweek do something wrong? He didn’t think he did anything worse than usual! Shit, did he get bad news?! Was someone dead?! Fuck, wait, no! It was because Tweek was late! Craig was mad at him because he was late!
“Hey, Craig. Sorry, I’m, uhm, late,” he apologized, putting his textbook in his bag. “The professor kept us longer than, ngh, I was expecting. And I apparently left my textbook.”
Craig wasn’t looking at Tweek. He was looking past him, at the guy who brought his book yet. Tweek glanced at the guy, but he was still smiling. Oh fuck, wait, did Tweek have to introduce them?
“He brought me my book,” Tweek explained, gesturing towards him. He hoped that would suffice, because he really didn’t remember the guy’s name.
Craig nodded at him, and his scowl seemed to shift into his usual neutral frown.
“Scott,” the guy said. “Scott Malkinson.”
He put his hand out towards Craig to shake it. Weird. Tweek wanted the interaction to be over.
Craig raised an eyebrow, but awkwardly shook his hand. “Craig.”
Scott’s beam grew as he turned back towards Tweek. “Hey, maybe we could study together soon, to prepare for finals. It’s a pretty tough class, but I think that working together really has its benefits! You know, it’s actually scientifically proven that discussing with another person-”
“We have to go,” Craig interrupted, only looking at Tweek. “I, uh. I was about to order a pizza. So. We should go. So we don’t miss it.”
Tweek nodded at him, scratching his cheek. Craig was definitely giving him an out from this conversation. He appreciated it so much. Why the hell did this guy want to study with him? Fucking weirdo.
God, now he was going to have to say bye to the dude, he hated it when people came up to him, it was always so uncomfortable.
“Uhm, see you in class,” he told Scott awkwardly, before turning to walk away.
“Here, let me help with your bag,” Craig suddenly said, reaching his hand towards Tweek.
Huh?
Tweek was… definitely stronger than Craig. That had been proven a few times, at this point. His confusion must have shown, because Craig suddenly looked more… nervous?
“I mean. Is the bag heavy? Your shoulders must hurt.”
He paused, tilting his head slightly. “Uh. Kind of. But, gah, it’s fine.”
Craig didn’t say anything, just kept his hand out. Tweek’s face started to burn at the realization he wanted to reach over and hold it. How mortifying. Tweek tried to calm down, ignoring his pounding heart.
Craig still stood there expectantly; he obviously wasn’t going to give up. Tweek eventually just sighed, shaking his head. If Craig wanted to carry his bag so badly, whatever. He grabbed the bag’s strap, pulling it off of his shoulder and dropping it in Craig’s hand.
It was clearly heavier than he was unexpecting, because it immediately landed in the snow with a loud thunk, partially bringing Craig down with it. Tweek accidentally let out a short laugh before he covered his mouth, trying to stop himself. Craig was so lame; it was really cute.
He straightened himself, pulling the bag over his shoulder, looking down. Tweek could see him start to blush, which he was… kind of happy about. Craig didn’t seem to blush often, so it was always funny to see.
Tweek shook his head, starting to walk away. He figured this was a good time to escape having to interact with that. That guy. Fuck, wait, what was his name? Scott? Yeah. Scott. He felt Craig finally walk with him, so he looked up at him.
“Hey, uhm. Thanks for getting me out of that conversation.”
Craig finally turned towards him; his eyes wide. “What? Wait, was he bothering you?”
“Well. I mean, not more than people usually do. He was nice to give me my book, but then he started talking about studying together, and I’m always, gah, uncomfortable when people I don’t know talk to me. So thanks.”
He nodded slightly, looking forward again. “It’s not a problem.” Craig paused, frowning to himself. “Hey, uh. Tweek-”
“Bros!”
Tweek didn’t know about Craig, but he immediately became considerably more tired.
Clyde pounced from behind, wrapping an arm around each of them, pulling them both close to him. Tweek’s skin started to crawl, he was way too fucking close to Clyde.
“Dudes, what’s up? Out of class for the day?”
Craig sighed, pushing Clyde away from him with a frown. “Yes. We have plans.”
“Can I come?”
“No.”
Clyde pouted, crossing his arms. “You’re a dick. Tweek, can I come?”
Tweek hesitated, scratching his arm, but Craig just gently pulled Tweek away from Clyde.
“I just told you that you couldn’t, why are you asking Tweek?”
“Because you’re a dick and what you say doesn’t count.”
Craig rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything else. He just put an arm over Tweek’s shoulder and started walking away from Clyde. Tweek felt his face burn at the gesture, and after sneaking a glance at Craig, he was reassured that Craig also seemed nervous. Honestly, it was kind of hypocritical of him, since he was the one to do that, but whatever.
“Oh, shit. Wait!” Clyde rushed up to them, stopping in front of them. Craig rolled his eyes, probably about to scold him, but he continued. “Tweek, you’re coming with us over break?”
“What?”
“Are you?”
Tweek sputtered, looking between him and Craig. What the fuck. Did Craig tell him? Did Craig say Tweek was coming?! Oh god, he felt sick. He was going to throw up.
“Clyde, how the hell-” Craig started.
“Laura and Tricia started texting me, asking about Tweek.”
Craig groaned, lowering his head. Tweek felt his heart stop. He could practically feel bugs crawling around under his skin, threatening to burst out. They were asking?! Clyde?! About Tweek?! He was going to kill himself.
“Of fucking course they did,” Craig muttered, rubbing his temple. “Jesus. I asked Tweek if he wanted to come. He might not. He doesn’t have to.”
“What were they, gah, asking about me?”
Clyde shrugged, still grinning. “Just wanted to know how Craig convinced you to be his friend.”
Craig glared at him, flipping him off with the hand that was around Tweek. Clyde pouted, sticking his tongue out and blowing a raspberry at him. Craig did the same back. Tweek couldn’t believe they were 20.
“Anyways,” Clyde continued, once they were finished. “Just wanted to make sure I’ve met you and can vouch for you. Don’t worry, I gave you a really good review.”
Tweek felt a little better, for a minute, before frowning again, immediately feeling worse. Was Craig’s mom expecting him to come? If she asked Clyde, that probably meant something.
“So, you’re coming, right?”
Tweek hesitated, picking at his nails. “I’m, uh. I’m not really sure.”
“You totally should! Laura loves Christmas, she always does a lot for it, and her hot chocolate is literally the best thing ever created.”
Tweek looked at Craig to see if he had anything to say. He just shrugged at first, shaking his head. “It is really good. But again. You don’t have to come. No one will be mad.”
“I’ll be mad,” Clyde said cheerfully, raising his hand up. Tweek’s eyes widened in panic, but Craig grabbed Clyde’s arm and pulled it down, glaring at him.
“No, he won’t, he’s just trying to guilt you into coming. Because he’s an asshole.”
“Please, Tweek,” he suddenly whined, clasping his hands together dramatically. “Please, please, please, please-”
“Clyde, shut the fuck up.”
Clyde didn’t shut up, just kept repeating “please”, staring into Tweek’s soul. He felt himself growing warm with the scene, he could feel people start to stare, it made his insides feel like shrinking. Clyde became increasingly louder, before Tweek cried out, grabbing at his arms to get his attention and shut him up.
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, please stop- Jesus Christ! Will you please fucking stop if I agree to come?”
Clyde stopped, smiling widely, like an asshole. “Yes.”
“Oh my fucking god,” Tweek muttered, letting go of Clyde and rubbing his face. Clyde drained his energy more with every fucking syllable. “Fine, fucking, god, fine! I’ll come with you all.”
He immediately cheered, pumping a fist in the air before holding it out to Tweek, probably wanting a fist bump.
Tweek just looked at him tiredly, praying Clyde would let it go. He eventually fist bumped himself, still smiling, before walking away, typing something on his phone.
Tweek sighed deeply, rubbing his eyes. Fucking christ. He completely screwed himself over. Clyde fucking annoyed him into agreeing. Jerk.
What the fuck. Why did he agree?!
Tweek was so fucking stupid! Jesus christ, he was definitely going to fuck everything up! He was going to be stuck in an unfamiliar house with strangers during a family holiday! He had to meet Craig’s family! Dumbass!
“Tweek!”
He blinked. He looked up at Craig, who was now standing in front of him, a worried look on his face. He was holding onto Tweek’s shoulders. He grew hot.
“Hey, you okay?”
Tweek gulped, taking a quick breath. “Uh, yeah. Yes. Great.”
Craig’s face softened, and he pulled his hands away. Tweek wanted to scream. He wanted Craig to put them back. God, he was such a fucking freak. “You still don’t have to come, you know. You can calm down.”
“I told Clyde I would,” he mumbled, shaking his head. He really didn’t want Clyde to whine about Tweek going back on his promise.
“He can get over it. He might be annoying, but he’s always annoying, and a crybaby, so don’t worry about it.”
He eyed Craig, sighing. He wasn’t giving Tweek a lot of confidence. Whatever. There were still a few weeks before break. He could worry about it later. He had too much already, with his current panic of finals being so soon.
“Would you be okay with quizzing me tonight? I made, gah, flashcards, and I just, god, I need to get good grades or I’ll die.”
“You won’t die. But yeah, I’ll quiz you. Even though I know that you know everything.”
Tweek rolled his eyes, huffing gently. Craig was annoying. And cute. Which made him more annoying. He was way too confident in his abilities; he was definitely biased. Despite it, Tweek couldn’t even actually be that annoyed with him, he was just too genuine. It was mortifyingly endearing.
They went back to Craig’s apartment, and Tweek wished he could’ve held Craig’s hand the entire walk there.
The next few weeks were a vague, caffeine/anxiety induced nightmare. Tweek fucking hated finals. The intense, never-ending stress, the burnout, the worsening sleep schedule because every minute of studying counted.
Tweek had pulled… several all-nighters. Even more than usual. He had to get good grades. He couldn’t flunk out. He would die.
But hey! Bright side- he was done! He had finally finished all of his final projects and exams, and was almost at Craig’s apartment.
Craig had insisted they do something special for finals. Tweek tried arguing against him, since it was just another semester, but he was starting to find it increasingly difficult to say no to him. So, despite his hesitation, they were going to have a special dinner/movie night in celebration.
Craig really hadn’t been happy at his lack of sleep, but Tweek didn’t know what to tell him. He was already terrible at sleeping, so he didn’t know what Craig expected. Tweek talked about his insomnia, so he just kind of thought that Craig was overly concerned about him. It was sweet, but constantly made Tweek feel bad for making Craig worry.
God. Stupid Craig.
Tweek had been distracted throughout all of his exams by just. Thoughts of Craig. His smile, eyes, hair, hands, arms. It was fucking annoying. He was disgusting. He didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with him. If Tweek failed all of his exams, he knew who he was going to blame.
Soon enough, he found himself at Craig’s door. He knocked hesitantly, jumping slightly when he heard a crashing noise from inside. It didn’t take long for Craig to open the door slightly, smiling down at Tweek.
“Tweek, hi,” he greeted, almost sounding breathless.
Tweek frowned, adjusting his bag’s strap on his shoulder. “Hi. Are you okay?”
Craig nodded way too fast for Tweek’s liking. He was acting weird. Or, weirder than usual. Something was wrong, god, what was wrong?
“I’m great.” He paused, shifting uncomfortably. “Uh. Could you wait here for a little bit? I still need to do something just really quick. It won’t be long.”
Was Craig upset with him? He felt sick at the thought, hoping to god that wasn’t it. Tweek looked at him for a moment before he nodded, heart pounding from the possibilities of why Craig could be upset.
Craig smiled gratefully, pulling away from the door and closing it again before Tweek could even look inside.
Tweek stood there, awkwardly waiting for Craig.
What the fuck could he be doing? God, okay, he started on his breathing exercises, working things out through his head.
Craig was acting weird. But he smiled at Tweek. That probably meant he didn’t suddenly hate him. Was he stressed out about something? Finals were over, Tweek knew that Craig had turned in the rest of his assignments.
Could it be family related? Oh, Jesus- wait! Could it be about winter break? Did his family decide they hated Tweek before even meeting him?! Did they, rightfully, decide that Christmas was a family holiday and they didn’t want him crashing it?
Tweek started spiraling, but it didn’t last too long before eventually Craig opened the door, gesturing for him to finally come inside.
He walked in as Craig took his bag from him, and, oh. He was pretty sure he understood why Craig seemed nervous.
The apartment wasn’t too bright or overwhelming, like it usually was for Tweek. The big light in the living room was off, only a few dim lights were on. And there was a singular candle in the middle of the table. Bath and Body Works. Fancy.
Not only that, but the kitchen table, small as it was, was set nicely. Tweek didn’t realize Craig and Jimmy had a tablecloth. But there it was! A nice, dark green, actually cloth, not just the shitty plastic kind.
Two plates sat in front of the two chairs, food already on both of them. He recognized the meal. He couldn’t remember the name, but Craig had cooked it before. Tweek loved it. He kind of couldn’t believe Craig remembered that.
He turned back towards Craig, who was still standing awkwardly by the door. He almost seemed to be retreating.
“If you don’t want that, I can order us takeout or something,” Craig mumbled, uncharacteristically… shy? Embarrassed? However he felt, it was strange. “I just thought, I kind of wanted to surprise you, and I know you liked it when I cooked it before.”
Jesus. Craig really was sweet. Tweek didn’t know how he was supposed to handle it. He put so much effort into this. Nobody had ever really done anything like that for him before. Tweek felt a warmth spread through his body, a kind he had been getting used to recently. He felt it around Craig, exclusively. Warmth had always been an uncomfortable sensation, but it hadn’t been as bad since August.
Craig still looked nervous, probably because Tweek hadn’t responded yet, fuck.
He smiled softly at Craig. He was probably the nicest person Tweek had ever met. That seemed to make him feel a bit better, he visibly relaxed.
But god, what was Tweek supposed to say? This was… it was so nice of Craig. It meant so much to him. He had remembered and noticed so much about Tweek, in a way nobody ever did. It was consistent, too. He always paid attention to him.
“Thank you,” he eventually settled on. “God, you’re. You’re really nice.”
He shrugged nonchalantly, but Tweek saw him smile subtly. He genuinely was great. Tweek really didn’t deserve him. Craig put together an entire dinner for him. What had he ever done for him back? He almost wanted to leave, seeing how sweet Craig was. He deserved someone better.
But Craig closed the door, setting Tweek’s bag gently on the floor.
“Jimmy’s staying with Tolkien tonight, by the way,” he mentioned as he walked towards the table. “So you don’t have to worry about talking to him. I know my friends still make you nervous.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled sheepishly, scratching his hand.
Craig shook his head, smiling softly at him. “Don’t be. I get it.” He glanced at the table, hesitating briefly. “Is this okay?”
“It’s great. Really. I’m fucking starving, my exam was a goddamn nightmare.”
“I’m sorry. How do you think you did?”
Tweek sighed, giving a small shrug. “I think I knew most of the answers, but that might be wishful thinking. Or delusions. God, I really fucking hope I didn’t fail, I have a decent grade in the class, but the exam is like, 20% of my grade, so if I fail it, I’m kind of fucked- I really can’t fail any of my classes, I don’t know what I’d do, probably die, I think? I don’t want to die- I’m kind of surprised I’ve made it this far, I want to at least graduate-”
Craig walked forward, leaning slightly to make better eye contact with Tweek, and placed his hands on his arms. Tweek immediately shut up, freezing in place. Craig was so fucking close, what the fuck?
“I’m sure you did great. You’ve known the flash cards when I’ve helped, and you’ve been studying every night, yeah?”
“I guess,” he muttered reluctantly.
“Exactly.” He smiled, straightening up. “Like I said, I’m sure you did great.”
Tweek shifted awkwardly, he never knew how to react when Craig was nice to him. People weren’t usually nice to him, not that he deserved it. But still. It was weird.
They finally sat down, and Tweek was so fucking endeared to see that Craig had put out a green cup for him. He was too fucking sweet- Tweek was going to fucking keel over and die. He was disgusting.
Tweek picked up his fork, but paused before he started to eat. He had completely forgotten what the meal was, he was so fucking stupid. He hoped to god Craig wouldn’t be annoyed. “Uh. Stupid question. Like, really stupid question. What’s this called again?”
“Not a stupid question. It’s arroz con pollo.”
“Arroz con pollo,” Tweek repeated slowly, trying to mimic his pronunciation. Craig smiled, fuck, he was too attractive, Tweek was going to kill himself probably.
Craig nodded, still smiling at him. “Ma’s way better at cooking it, but I’m glad you like it.”
“Man, my parents’ idea of seasoning is salt. Just salt. They suck. Anything you cook is, like, automatically the best thing I’ve had.”
He laughed at that, covering his mouth like he always did. God, Tweek loved Craig’s laugh. He loved being able to make him laugh, even if he never tried to. He didn’t think he was particularly funny. But that honestly didn’t really matter to him that much. Because Craig seemed to.
A few hours later, they were on the couch, on their third movie of the night. Craig had tried getting Tweek to choose each time, but he had practically begged him to not make him. He was fucking exhausted; he couldn’t handle having to make decisions. Besides, Tweek really hadn’t seen that many movies. He wouldn’t have known what to choose either way. So Craig kept picking out random sci-fi movies he liked. Tweek was surprised he didn’t just want to watch Star Trek, but Craig had just shrugged when he was questioned.
He tried to follow the plots of each movie. Really, he had! But between how tired he generally was, and how busy he had been the past several weeks, his brain was fucking fried. It was all incoherent to him. Craig didn’t seem to mind that Tweek was tired, he just said he figured he would be.
He was even encouraging it. He brought Tweek a blanket. And put his arm around him. Tweek wasn’t sure if Craig was trying to make him fall asleep or kill him.
His eyelids felt so fucking heavy, he was straining to keep them open. He really didn’t know how much sleep he had gotten recently, but he knew it was a lot less than usual. Which wasn’t great.
Tweek saw Craig glance at him again and forced his eyes open. Craig snickered, like a jerk.
“Dude. If you’re tired, you can fall asleep.”
Tweek huffed, crossing his arms. He glared at Craig from the corner of his eyes. “I’m not tired. I’m fine. I’m very awake.”
“You keep yawning.”
“No I don’t,” he yawned, ignoring Craig’s dumb beautiful laugh. “You keep yawning.”
He was still chuckling. “Tweek. Go to sleep. It’s okay.”
Tweek ignored him. He wasn’t going to fall asleep next to Craig. That would be mortifying. He’d stay for… an undetermined amount of time, then go back and maybe make it back to his dorm before he passed out. He could probably manage that.
Craig huffed at his lack of response. Tweek didn’t care. He wasn’t losing this battle.
That’s what he thought, at least. Before fucking bastard asshole Craig decided to play fucking dirty.
He moved his arm from Tweek’s shoulders, starting to lightly play with Tweek’s hair.
Craig was a demon. The actual devil. Horrible, terrible man.
Tweek unfortunately became considerably more tired, and Craig should have been thanking his lucky fucking stars Tweek was already not super alert, otherwise he probably would have run away. He fucking hated his hair. He hated people acknowledging it, looking at it, and especially touching it.
His hair, historically, had been. Gross. To put it nicely.
Tweek wasn’t great with taking showers. He never really had been. It filled him with a genuine, unexplainable anxiety. And the water. On his face. On his skin. It was a sensory nightmare, and the resident hall’s showers were awful. Having other people around was fucking terrible. It was exhausting for him. He couldn’t count how many times he had a meltdown or panic attack over it.
And yeah, Tweek knew that it was gross. It was just another point on the long fucking list of ‘Why he was the worst’.
But he had been really good with showering recently! Since… okay. Since February, when he met Craig. Which he guessed made sense. He liked Craig. Having Craig not think he’s disgusting ended up being more than worth the panic attacks he had. He had even gotten better at managing them!
All in all, it was super embarrassing, but he was proud of himself.
Anyways, it was… weird to have Craig touching his hair. Playing with it. Even if it wasn’t regularly gross anymore, Tweek still almost felt like it was, just as an instinct. But Craig wasn’t pulling away. He didn’t seem disgusted with Tweek.
And unfortunately, it was relaxing as fuck.
He felt his will start to crumble. He kept blinking, trying to wake up more, but it was so dark. So warm. And Craig was the monster he was, making it worse.
Tweek yawned again, unwillingly leaning to rest against Craig. If he were just a bit more awake, he’d probably freak out. He knew that. But he was so fucking tired. Maybe it was okay to fall asleep? Craig was so nice.
He barely even reacted when Tweek leaned against him. Only adjusted slightly, and suddenly Tweek’s head was resting on his shoulder, and he was way more comfortable. Craig still played with his hair, goddammit. He was so tired.
Tweek yawned again, letting his eyes close. Maybe he could rest him for a few moments, and then he’d feel refreshed. That worked when he was a kid. Probably. He actually couldn’t remember a lot from his childhood.
Fuck, he was so comfortable. It was so warm. Craig was so nice. He’d open his eyes soon.
Tweek did not open his eyes soon. Tweek opened his eyes the next morning.
He blinked a few times, still groggy. He yawned again, vaguely wondering what time it was. A shifting underneath him made him pause, glancing beside him.
Craig was there. Asleep.
Tweek had fallen asleep on Craig. Oh, he was absolutely going to kill himself, this was so fucking mortifying. This was the worst moment of his fucking life.
He cautiously sat up, moving painfully slowly so he wouldn’t wake Craig up. He rubbed his eyes, pushing his hair out of his face, as he tried to calm his breathing. This was so embarrassing. He couldn’t fucking believe himself!
How could he be so weak willed?! God- Craig kept doing that to him! Tweek was losing his mind around him. It was like every brain cell he had disappeared whenever he was close to Craig. It was infuriating. And confusing.
And fucking terrifying.
Tweek slowly got up from the couch, careful to move the blanket that had covered him. He hesitated before he eventually adjusted it, putting it more on Craig. He stirred, but his eyes didn’t open.
Tweek figured it was fine, so he turned and crept across the living room to the kitchen, where the door was. He grabbed his bag and put it over his shoulder as he started turning the door handle, glancing back to make sure Craig was still sleeping. He was, and fuck. He looked… really cute. Tweek still couldn’t stand it.
He slipped through the open door, careful to close it as quietly as he could manage, before rushing down the hallway to the stairs, almost as though Craig would start chasing him at any moment.
Once he was out in the freezing cold, snow softly falling, Tweek let out a breath, grabbing onto his hair. He didn’t have to worry about waking Craig up anymore, so he cried out incoherently, shaking his head. He walked back to his residence hall, trying to sink more into his coat. The December cold was too bitter for his liking, it practically buried itself in his bones.
Why the fuck did he fall asleep?! Jesus fucking christ, Tweek thought he was better than that! He could manage little to no sleep as a kid, what the fuck happened?!
They were so close. They were… cuddling. Tweek thought. He wasn’t sure if that counted. It felt like it should count, but Tweek usually always avoided physical contact with other people! It made him sick! Craig made him sick. He had a problem. Craig clouded his judgment, affecting him in weird ways. It was bad.
The previous night… was a date. Tweek figured that, at least. It felt like a date. Craig cooked them dinner, then they watched movies, they fucking fell asleep cuddling watching movies- Tweek was going to kill himself.
But more than all of that… it felt. Different. It felt. Couple-y. Tweek was going to be sick.
His stomach turned at the memory of Craig’s fingers softly playing with his hair, lulling him to sleep. Tweek wasn’t completely sure, it wasn’t like he had any experience, but that felt borderline fucking romantic. But that was bad. So bad. It was too real, too vulnerable for him. He hated his hair. He couldn’t stand people looking at it, much less playing with it! Why wasn’t Craig disgusted with him? It didn’t make sense.
He was close to his building when his stupid ringtone for Craig’s stupid contact started playing, and he groaned, stopping in place. He hesitated before he grabbed it, considering ignoring it, but he knew he couldn’t do that.
He took a deep breath before tapping to answer, bringing the phone up to his ear.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” Craig yawned. “Where’d you go?”
He had just woken up, based on the low register of his voice that made Tweek- nope. No. He wasn’t going to think about how attractive Craig’s voice was early in the morning, that was- no. No. He didn’t deserve to think about that, especially now.
“Sorry, I. I’m on my way back to my dorm.”
“Oh.”
Tweek didn’t deserve Craig in his life. He didn’t say anything, just looked down at the ground. It hadn’t been snowing very hard, or for very long. Only a few snowflakes seemed to stick to the sidewalk.
“I guess I was kind of hoping we’d… well.” Craig trailed off, and Tweek could easily picture his disappointed face. “You know, it’s fine. It’s okay. If you’re busy, then… I’ll let you go?”
He winced, curling further into himself. He was a terrible person. He knew that. But goddammit, he didn’t know what else he could do.
“I’ll, uh. I’ll talk to you later?”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll. Yeah...”
Fuck, Craig sounded so sad. Tweek felt fucking awful, he just left without saying anything, he was so inconsiderate! Craig did so much for him. He treated him so terribly.
He tried thinking of anything he could say to make him feel better, but there really wasn’t much he could do. But- no. Fuck. There was… there was one possibility. One thing he could say that would make things better.
Tweek shut his eyes tightly, running his hand through his hair. Goddammit. Craig was going to be the fucking death of him.
“Craig!” he quickly said, hopefully before Craig hung up.
“Yeah?”
He forced the words out before he could convince himself not to. “I’m going to my dorm to start packing. For Christmas break. If that’s. You know. Still okay.”
“Wait-” he paused, and Tweek heard a lot of shuffling on the other end. “Really?”
“If. I mean, if you, gah, want me to?” Anxiety shot through his body and his eyes widened, pacing on the walkway, tightly gripping the strap of his bag. “If you don’t, then-”
Craig spoke up before Tweek could finish. “No, I want you to! Of course I want you to! But you’re actually- you’re really coming? You aren’t just saying that to Clyde to get him to stop bugging you?”
Tweek was glad they were talking on the phone, he didn’t have to try to hide his pained expression. God. He really didn’t want to go. But Craig wanted Tweek to go with him. He actually did. He wouldn’t say that if he didn’t. He even sounded hopeful.
He hesitated for a moment. “If you’re absolutely sure it’s okay.”
“It is!” he immediately answered, and Tweek could hear the smile on Craig’s face. He couldn’t help but smile softly, he loved hearing it. “I promise it’s okay. It is wanted.”
“Alright. I’m going to, ngh, start packing.”
“Cool. I’ll text you the official plans so you can look at them whenever you need to. You won’t have to worry about remembering it or being afraid you wrote it down wrong.”
Craig was too nice to him. He didn’t deserve it.
Tweek headed back to his dorm, heart pounding, mentally kicking himself the entire way there. Craig cooking him dinner… falling asleep watching a movie… meeting Craig’s family. It was getting more vulnerable. They really were acting like more of a couple.
Tweek really didn’t want to meet Craig’s family. He was really bad at meeting new people; they often didn’t like him. Not that he could blame them. God. He kept agreeing to stupid shit, all because of Craig. It was exhausting. He didn’t know what to do, it felt almost dangerous. Thinking about how easily Tweek did things for him. Craig made him so fucking stupid.
He told Craig he’d go with him during winter break. And he meant it. Fuck. All that he could do at that point was pray that some sort of freak accident happened, and he wouldn’t have to go.