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stop hitting yourself (we're arms of the same body)

Summary:

He looked at her, inquisitively; she was slightly wrong. There were cobwebs in her hair. She was wearing colors that sat more along the lines of the Grimlands than anything else. She wasn’t his Pearl. Santa Perla.

Notes:

CW: lots of mentions of blood, dark magic, drowning, minecraft death, falling, screaming/pain descriptions

 

I hate this one because I was wrong about a fact. I misremembered Gem's SL skin as being skulk covered and not void covered. This fic was going to be set up for a Gem centric one but i fear not... I fixed my memory error within the fic but i'm sad this isn't as much of a set up as it was meant to be.

 

title is from de/trans by june henry

Work Text:

Sausage cut into his palm, cursing under his breath. He threw his dagger to the side and planted his hand into the dirt. He was becoming the roots of the world… returning to his roots. He was thinking. Happy thoughts. It was hard to think happy thoughts when he could feel the darkness pulsing through his heart. It was hard thinking of the good times when he only saw her withering away into dust in front of him. He knew that wasn’t her death. It was just her departure. He tried to picture the sunlight breaking through the trees of Santuary, reminding him of her smile and laugh. He tried and was failing. He was screaming the incantation. He promised someone at some point in his journey that he would never do blood magic again but all his sheep were still red and his blood still dripped black from time to time. 

 

With one hand, he riffled through his satchel for the next component. He had learned by now that blood magic was reckless without an anchor. He planted the sunflower in the puddle of his muddy blood. 

 

The ground shook and a void opened, purple and swirling. Pearl flew up into the air and landed with a tumble, throwing up into the nearest bush. 

 

“What the…” She looked around, meeting eyes with her once-upon-a-time best friend. “What was that for?”

 

He looked at her, inquisitively; she was slightly wrong. There were cobwebs in her hair. She was wearing colors that sat more along the lines of the Grimlands than anything else. She wasn’t his Pearl. Santa Perla. 

 

“I summoned you.” He stood up, offering her his bloody hand. 

 

“That was Watcher magic,” She pushed it away from him, catching a glimpse of his eye charm on his cloak. “Have you been using that as an arcane focus?”

 

“Only sometimes.”

 

“Like when, Sausage?” She tensed, looking at the sunflower field around them. 

 

He slouched, feeling ashamed. “Like when I created this world.”

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” She huffed, walking away. “I’m leaving; I’m going back to the Hermit Realm.”

 

He grabbed her hand, covering her in his blood. “Wait, fWhip is here. So is Jimmy and Lizzie and Pix and Shubble and Katherine and Scott and– and– and–”

 

“Now me… What  are you trying to do here, Saus?” She turned toward him, face dripping with disappointment. 

 

He let go of her. “I just missed everyone.”

 

“You shouldn’t be able to do this. I can’t even create realms. Grian can, but–” She trailed off. “Whatever, this isn’t right.”

 

“Just don’t go. I’ll bring Gem here and I’ll be done.”

 

Pearl watched as he frantically walked to the path. “Where are you going?”

 

“Um, do you think the mountains would call her more or the coast? I don’t know what she has attachment to anymore.”

 

Pearl looked at her blood covered hands. “The coast. She lives on the coast right now.”

 

“So you’ll help me?”

 

“You said fWhip was here?”

 

“Yes, he’s a dwarf here. I don’t know if he’s dabbling for forging again though, not when he’s back in a world with Jim again.”

 

Pearl nodded, his nervous energy starting to wear her thin again. “Gem misses fWhip, though she doesn't remember.”

 

“Wait, you haven’t figured out how to give her her memories yet?”

 

Pearl examined Sausage’s crestfallen face. “Why?”

 

“Martyn is mad at me… He won’t talk to me since I can’t give Ren his memories back. I thought maybe you would know.”

 

“No, Grian and I can’t control that. They mess with our sometimes too. We’re young compared to the others.”

 

He lowered his head, walking straight to the sand, dropping to his knees. Slowly, he drew the sigils in the sand. Swirls and twirls. Symbols Pearl swore she saw before, faintly pressed into the dirt at Joel’s statue of Lizzie. 

 

He looked at his palm, still pulsing with pain and dripping blood as black as ichor. Pearl felt the void in him. She saw the stars in the puddle he form. Sausage stood perfectly still, letting nature happen around him. A butterfly crossed his eyeline and he snatched it out of the air, crushing its wings in his hand and drowning it in his blood. He began his spell in muttering whispers that only grew louder as more time passed and nothing happened. Pearl watched in anticipation, not having seen magic like this in ages. It was hard to open portals now a days, she hadn’t considered doing anything like this, though it seemed like he wasn’t getting much of anything from it. 

 

He was shouting now. Pearl’s wings popped out. She felt herself loosing control of herself. Her mask… her appearance… Sausage stayed planted on the ground, seemingly trying to give CPR to the muddy puddle of blood. He was covered in the stuff now. He was glowing red and half hyperventilating, half screaming in agony. 

 

“I can’t reach her. Why can’t I reach her?” He rolled over, hugging himself. 

 

Pearl looked down at the sigils and tried to see any of his errors but there were none. She tried to close her eyes and call upon the void space, only just to see her best friend but even that didn’t work. Pearl leaned against a tree. 

 

“She’s unwatchable.” 

 

Sausage turned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Someone else has her. Someone or thing that isn’t a Watcher.”

 

The mage cried out in pain, throwing himself into the water. “Get it off of me! It burns. It’s eating my skin!”

 

Pearl ran the water, looking at the man with Skulk covering his hands. She felt the skin on the back of her neck raise as she turned around, seeing Martyn in the tree line. She turned and sprinted at him, reaching once again in to the void space to get there quicker. Martyn laid on the ground, panting, as Pearl rested her heel on his chest. 

 

“What do you want, Watcher?”

 

She snarled. “Don’t test me. Why can’t we summon Gem? What did you benefactors do to her? She was meant to be protected!”

 

“One, they aren’t my benefactors anymore and two, she was all yours. Last I saw her she was void covered and all!”

 

Pearl noticed her memory skewing. She remembered the void creeping up Gem’s arms, reaching out like an uninviting hug while the women fought to the death. She wanted to hate it. She wanted to think it was Skulk. 

 

“Then why is Saus covered in Skulk now for trying to summon her?”

 

“Like I said, I know nothing of the Listeners nowadays.”

 

Pearl wanted something easy to blame, but she didn’t know what to do. Sausage was drowning himself and from Martyn’s relaxed reaction, she knew he’d respawn. The dragonborn, looking nothing like his old self, sat on the ground, staring up at Pearl. 

 

“Is everything okay in the Hermit Realm? I can’t really ask–” He trailed off. 

 

Pearl shrugged. “The Listeners are present. Lizzie’s lost her domain and we are getting the side effects of it. Grian and Scar aren’t that close right now. Gem is on to it. So is Imp, I think.”

 

“So massive power struggle.”

 

She nodded. “Can you bring me to Ren? So I can take him home for a little while…”

 

“Why do you have to?”

 

“We’ll come back; now that Saus opened the gate for me, I don’t think I have a choice.”

 

Martyn sighed. “Alright. Do you want to see anyone else before you leave?”

 

“I cannot face Gem when I go home if I see fWhip again. I think her subconscious has been made at me since the last Championship we were dragged into.”

 

“Oh, you’re aware of those now.”

 

She nodded. “Sucks. It all sucks. I feel more powerless than ever.”

 

“How are you going to convince Ren to go with you if he doesn’t have his memories?”

 

Pearl couldn’t meet his eyes. She knew the way her magic worked. Everyone knew her and her brother even when they couldn’t remember them. She tried not to think about all the times Mumbo almost caught her in her true form in the Mound. How he and Scar seemed to understand her and Grian. How Skizz always loved them. How he and Imp and Tango always cared. She tried not to think about how unfair it was.

 

“Oh, right. Watchers favor…”

 

“I’m sorry. I know how much it hurts when they don’t remember.”

 

“When have you ever known a time where they don’t remember?”

 

“They might think they know me. They don’t… They don’t remember. They just think they do.”

 

“Whatever, let’s go before he embarks on another adventure.”

 

She nodded and followed him. The humble little campsite sat right on the forest’s edge. Ren sat on his cot, sharpening his sword. 

 

“Pearlescent Moon, how can I help you?”

 

Pearl looked to Martyn, then back to Ren. “I’ve got a flying potion, do you want to test it out with me?”

 

“Oh, um,” He looked to Martyn, wingless and hopeless. “Why don’t you split it with Martyn? I–”

 

“I’ve got my own, we found them in a dungeon. Don’t you worry.” Martyn lied, trying not to cry; whether it was about the sympathy shown or the emotion laid out in his story, he was unsure. 

 

Pearl took Ren’s hand and climbed to the top of the tallest tree. She took a swig from a bottle of water, then handed it to him. He drank it quickly and as he did, Pearl grabbed him around the waist and they began to plummet. As Ren screamed in horror, Pearl closed her eyes. She willed herself to find her power again, to reclaim herself. Her wings popped out and the sky glowed purple. 

 

They passed through the void with a blink and were back where she had left off. Ren stood standing in his radiation protection suit, staring at Pearl’s new trees. 

 

“So what exactly am I looking at here?”

 

“The trees grow coral. You just have to make sure that you are watering them properly.” 

 

He cocked an eyebrow. “Are we sure that my radiation is contained?”

 

“I dunno. I think Mumbo’s got his own run off we’re dealing with over here on Magic Mountain.”

 

“Well, good luck with that. I’ve got to go. I have a meeting with False.”

 

“Bye, Ren.”

 

“Bye, Pearl.” He turned before he activating his elytra. “When can we go?”

 

“What?”

 

“When can you go?”

 

“You remember?” She stared at him in shock. 

 

Ren dug in his bag for his rockets. “Yeah, you promised you and I would go on an adventure. I want to do more Trial Chambers.”

 

“Oh, um, I’ll look at my calendar.”

 

“Great. See you around.”

 

“See ya…”

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