Chapter Text
Damn Lute.
Vaggie was lying on hell’s ground, blinded with pain and thinking of death. In the last half an hour, she lost an eye, the wings, and, it seems, a place in heaven.
Sinners can’t hurt angels; does it also apply to fallen ones? She almost wished it didn’t; someone killing her would do her a mercy. Vaggie even tried doing it herself but failed to lift her spear. Will she even be able to use it anymore? She was not sure. Not that it mattered. Can she die from starvation?
Can she die at all?
With this, she just kept lying, waiting for the inevitable to come.
After what seemed like an eternity, something red and yellow appeared in her sight. Something moved closer to her and turned out to be a girl. A girl kneeled before her. Vaggie kept staring at the street over the girl’s shoulder. After exterminating thousands of sinners, she did not want to look into the eyes of one who came to exterminate Vaggie herself.
What a cruel irony.
Surprisingly enough, the girl came close without any hit following her approach.
“Uhm… hello? My name is Charlie!” The girl’s voice was vibrating with cheerfulness. Vaggie kept staring away. “What is yours?”
No, she was not in the mood for a small talk.
“Hello! Are you hearing me? Charlie’s calling!” The girl was now enthusiastically waving her hand before Vaggie’s face. Annoying. She decided to answer, to get this over with, one way or another.
“Are you here to kill me?”
“Oh, so you can talk! I love your voice; it’s so nice! Kill? No! Of course not! Quite the opposite, actually! I’ve read that humans form close bonds with ‘friends,’ not sure what that concept means, but I thought it may be worth trying this relationship to gain more data on your emotions. So! Would you be interested in being my ‘girlfriend’? For science and everything?”
Are you fucking kidding me?
“I would prefer to die alone. Thanks for the offer, though.”
The girl lifted a finger to her chin, looking thoughtful.
“Aghh, so this is what dying looks like. It’s true, then. Sinners are so fragile,” she muttered to herself. Then, with renewed cheerfulness in her voice, she addressed Vaggie again. “How rude of me not to notice! Do you want me to heal you?”
Delusional as well. Great.
“Sure, go on.”
"I wonder how wounds caused by exterminator would react to hell's magic…" the girl muttered to herself. Vaggie felt a wave of dread, her will to live suddenly returning.
Charlie-girl beamed and then beamed again, literally this time, her whole body lightening with power, eyes becoming red, and horns growing. Pain disappeared. Vaggie blinked —with both eyes— what just happened?
“What… how… thank you, I guess?”
“Now you aren’t dying. Would you be my girlfriend?”
The girl was crazy as hell. Surprisingly enough, Vaggie found herself not to be entirely opposed to the idea.
***
It turns out “girlfriend” meant a girl-that-is-a-friend. Maybe. With Charlie, it was impossible to tell anything for sure. However, Vaggie wasn’t in a position to complain because now she had a place to stay and a girl-that-is-a-friend who also happened to be Lucifer’s daughter and the literal princess of Hell. Possibly, planning to kill her.
The angel spent her first and second nights in hell with the door locked with a chair, waking at every noise coming from the window (and, god forgive, hell was a noisy place).
For now, Charlie showed a mercy quite surprising for the daughter of the Devil. So, the angel was still alive, though heavily sleep-deprived. Not bad, considering the circumstances, she decided.
“So, what you were doing outside during the extermination?” Vaggie asked on the evening of the third day. Charlie uncorked a bottle of wine, and the angel hesitantly agreed to join her, not wanting to offend her hostess. Unfortunately, the alcohol loosened Vaggie’s tongue, causing her to ask the questions that had been burning in her mind.
"It was my first extermination outside the palace, so I became curious! Father never let me out to see it in person. And the whole concept is truly fascinating! It’s like a grand experiment—oh! Did you know that angels bleed gold? Isn’t that interesting? Is their blood different? Hmm, maybe I should test that—oh wait, no, focus, Charlie, focus. Extermination, yes! But I also wanted to know why angels... what was I saying again? Curious, right!"
"Curious." Vaggie repeated, incredulous. Who in their right mind would want to see an extermination? She felt a twinge of pride as her own abilities were put into perspective. Sure, the princess of hell should be more powerful than any exterminator, but—curious? For heaven’s sake, this was just ridiculous.
"Who wouldn’t be? I've never seen an angel up close. According to our agreement with heaven, they aren’t allowed to hurt hellborns, so I wanted to use this chance to get to know them better before things change."
Vaggie frowned. The confidence in the princess’ words was somehow unsettling.
"Will they change?"
Charlie looked at Vaggie as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Of course they will. It's not like exterminations are forever. Or hell, for that matter. Or heaven."
"W... why?" Vaggie asked uneasily, uncomfortable with where the conversation was going.
"This is a status quo, in a way. But no status quo can last indefinitely. So, it's natural for me to assume that someday, something will change,” Charlie said, suddenly serious. Vaggie even thought she saw a hint of sadness in her. “Before Jesus came, every soul was in hell, did you know that? I remember when he came here, actually. He was so rude, not pleasant at all. Oh, I hate this guy, just imagine, so pompous and full of himself—right! Dad was not happy—I was pretty sure a war was coming. He took his 'winners' and left—never knew how he could even tell the difference; they seemed like random picks. I still wonder who I’d choose in his place. How does heaven even decide who goes there? If I was to choose, I… nevermind."
Charlie was looking out the window. There were still corpses of sinners left after the extermination. Far away, Vaggie saw a strange flying machine. A moment later, it seemed like an explosion hit, and the machine started to fall.
They sat in silence. There was a lot to process in Charlie’s words. The Lamb saving the righteous from hell’s fire wasn’t a surprise; that was well-known history in heaven as well. The princess being at least 2,000 years old was a bit surprising but not shocking. However, her suggestion that He randomly picked sinners—now that sounded blasphemous. And Charlie thinking she could do it better?
On the other hand—the Lamb was the Son of God, and Charlie was the Daughter of the Devil. What did that make her?
After a couple of minutes, the princess continued, “I actually tried to ask Dad, but he won’t tell me anything.”
“So it’s just you guessing?”
“More or less. Does it sound strange to you?”
Vaggie took a moment to process this idea. Strangely enough, it made sense.
***
Despite Charlie’s heritage, she turned out to be a nice person to live with. Yes, she couldn’t cook—neither could Vaggie—and knew nothing about keeping house—again, neither did Vaggie—but she owned an enormous penthouse, was always in a good mood (for reasons beyond Vaggie’s understanding), and showed a genuine interest in the fallen angel’s life.
Well, the last part wasn’t that great.
“So, how did you end up in hell?”
A lifetime spent in heaven didn’t make for a good liar, so Vaggie decided to tell the truth—as much as she could without revealing her angelic nature.
“I… refused to kill a child.”
Charlie made a funny face. “Didn’t know you could go to hell for not killing someone! How did that happen?”
“Well, I was ordered to… in fact, this child was really, really evil! An evil child.” Oh, Vaggie couldn’t lie, even for her life. “The main problem, however was me refusing an order. You know. Can’t really stay… ahm… go to heaven if you don’t follow orders.”
“Oh, that makes sense!”
Charlie fell silent for a moment. Vaggie took the chance to change the subject.
“What about you? You mentioned that you don’t know any sinners. Why the change of heart?”
“Oh, you know, I grew up in the palace; obviously, there were only hellborns around!” Charlie said. In the few days they had spent together, Vaggie noticed her habit of talking about the strangest things like they were the most obvious things in the world. She was unsure if it was common knowledge for actual hell residents, so she tried not to show her surprise, “Father is not a fan of sinners, for some reason! So, it was me, my parents, my uncles, and some hell royalty visiting. Also, a lot of reading, training, going to balls, some orgies, huntings angels—and traveling to other Circles, of course! And Lu Lu World? Have you been to Lu Lu World? It’s so fun!”
Charlie looked adorable, talking about things she liked and enthusiastically gesturing. Engrossed with the princess, she totally missed suspicious parts of Charlie’s monologue.
“Never knew… I’m allowed to.” This was a safe shot, in Vaggie’s opinion. For heavenborn, “not allowed” was a perfect excuse for almost anything.
“Right. Sinners can’t go to other circles! Silly me!” Charlie made a funny face and tapped the head with her fist. “Anyway. I became soooo bored! So so soooooooo bored! And I decided to study sinners, to, hmmm, get to know my subjects better. For science and everything.”
Vaggie couldn’t help but chuckle darkly at being referred to as a “sinner.”
“And then I met you!” Charlie continued. “Now, I guess I’m meeting my people and not feeling bored anymore? You are really fun to be girlfriends with, Vaggie!”
Did she or did she not want to be “girlfriends” with Vaggie? That was so frustrating. Was sending mixed signals the way hell tortured people?
***
“We need to go on the adventure!” Charlie said enthusiastically.
“Why do you want to go on the adventure?” Vaggie asked. Sometimes she thought she was getting used to the princess’s strangeness—Charlie would repeatedly prove her wrong. It felt nice, though. Perhaps, a bit too exciting for a freshly fallen angel, still adjusting to the new circumstances, but nice. She was becoming convinced she wouldn’t get bored with the princess in a hundred years.
“I have a feeling it will happen anyway!”
It had been a week since Vaggie’s catastrophic fall and miraculous rescue when she felt like falling again. Quite literally, this time.
They were heading to a café for breakfast (why was there even a kitchen in the penthouse? Not like anyone was using it anyway) when something (or someone?) suddenly tripped her. Head forward, Vaggie fell to the ground.
“¡Chingada! What the…”
She nervously looked at her palm, which had scraped the ground, terrified of seeing her golden blood. However, the scratch turned out red—human red. Vaggie filed this observation away for later. For the hundredth time, she thought she really should come out to Charlie. The secret of her being a (former) exorcist was driving her insane.
“Look!” Charlie knelt beside her, showing no distress at her misfortune. “Isn’t this… a treasure map?”
Indeed, right in front of Vaggie’s face lay a rolled piece of parchment.
“How did you know it’s a treasure map?” she asked suspiciously, turning her head around. They were the only ones in the area. What had made her fall, then?
“Oh… ha ha… call it intuition! Oh, this is going to be so much fun—we need supplies! No, wait, there’s no time! Let’s go right now! Adventure awaits! Unless... maybe we should plan? Nah, let’s just go!” Charlie grabbed the parchment and offered Vaggie a hand. “Come on, Vaggie!”
As the former angel dusted off her skirt, Charlie opened the parchment and pointed at something. “Here it is! A location of the treasure! Can you read a map? Because I’m not good at it. Not at all. Can’t tell the north from the east.”
"Right..." Vaggie took the map. It was pretty schematic, depicting just a few blocks that appeared to surround their house. Only one house was actually illustrated—and even that looked as if it had been drawn by a child. An arrow pointing to this house was labeled, ‘Herein resides the treasure most splendid.’ A handwriting suspiciously resembled Charlie’s. “Right.”
If it were anyone else, Vaggie would have dismissed the whole ‘adventure’ as nonsense and walked away, but Charlie looked so excited. There was no way she could break her heart by rejecting her. So Vaggie played along and pretended to study the map.
“This way.” She started moving forward when she felt Charlie grabbing her hand again. Oh. Vaggie blushed. It felt like she’d found her treasure already.
Later that day, they were sitting in the kitchen drinking tea with candies found in the ‘treasure’ box.
“So, what was this about?” asked Vaggie.
“This what?”
“You know…” The angel hesitated, unsure if it was okay to say she knew the whole ‘adventure’ thing was Charlie’s doing. Finally, she decided against lying. “I really enjoyed the treasure hunt. It was… sweet?”
Charlie nearly jumped with excitement.
“Oh, I’m so happy you liked it! I know that humans love adventures, and I love sweets, so I thought combining them would be the best thing ever! And there’s no way it couldn’t make you happy! Did you really like it? Really, really?”
“I did.” Though not for the reason Charlie probably thought of. Vaggie smiled, feeling a slight blush on her cheeks, “Why do you think humans love adventures, though? Not that they don’t, but it is… not the first thing I’d name on this list of things they… we love.”
Charlie comically raised her brows.
“Really? But you wrote so many books about it!”
Books? Oh. Vaggie almost forgot Charlie had never talked to an actual human if you don’t count ordering a triple syrup latte in the café. Could it be that her entire knowledge of humanity was based on fiction? Vaggie sighed.
“You understand that adventure novels don’t paint a… precise image of humanity? They’re fun to read but not the best for drawing conclusions.”
“Oh, I see…” Charlie adorably puffed her cheeks, thought for a moment, then threw herself into hug with Vaggie. “Good thing I have you to teach me!”
Yes. That was true. Vaggie, the fallen angel and heaven-born, created by Adam, born and raised in the barracks, was just the right person to teach the princess of hell about humanity.
She should apply for the position of the goddess of irony.
***
In the following days, something about the princess’s behavior shifted. It took some time for Vaggie to notice, but it became impossible to ignore at some point.
The first sign was Charlie starting to offer her a hand and holding doors—helping her stand from a chair, get out of a car (well, limo), or enter a building. To Vaggie’s embarrassment, she reacted clumsily the first few times. She knew courtesy in theory, but she hadn’t had many opportunities to experience it in the barracks of heaven. (She couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of her life being more Spartan in heaven compared to the luxury she now had in hell.)
Secondly, Charlie was now gifting her things. Small and innocent ones, like an extra cookie in the café (princess ended up eating it by herself, anyway), a red ribbon (Vaggie felt an urge to grow up her hair to wear it), or a mug with baby-shaped cupids ( “I noticed you don’t have your own mug, and humans love to have their things, right?” Vaggie tried her best not to freak out from this one. It’s just a coincidence. Where the hell did she even find that heavenish design here?)
These signs may or may not indicate that Charlie was courting her. Either way, without solid proof, Vaggie fell back on the classic ‘useless lesbian’ playbook: which meant doing absolutely nothing.
The third sign, however, was the final blow. That morning, Vaggie woke up to someone entering her room. Her senses sharpened. Instinctively, she rolled from her bed to get in the cover and summoned the spear to attack an intruder.
It turned out to be Charlie with a tray.
“Good morning, Vaggie! Why are you hiding under the bed?” the princess asked, giving her a slightly confused smile. Hesitantly, the former exorcist left her cover and sat back on the sheets.
“You scared the shit out of me. I thought it was an enemy. Not used to people entering my space, I guess. Sorry.” Vaggie wasn’t sure why she was apologizing, but she couldn’t help herself. Wait, did Charlie bring breakfast? Against her will, the angel raised her brows. “You brought me… why you…”
The princess beamed and landed beside Vaggie, placing the tray on the bed. “I made you bed in breakfast!”
By now, Vaggie was used to the princess’s clumsy way of speaking, so she paid no attention. Instead, she finally looked at the tray. There were two cups of coffee, two glasses of orange juice, and something suspiciously blue on the plates.
“This is… very nice of you,” Vaggie said, blushing. The princess was staring at her with a big smile on her face. The angel took a cup and sipped. Oh. The coffee smelled like almonds— almond concentrate —and tasted like someone had mixed vinegar with milk and tons of sugar. Struggling to keep a straight face, Vaggie put the cup back on the tray and picked up a glass of juice. This one seemed to be store-bought, thank god. She cleared her throat. “What an interesting… thing on the plate. What is it?”
“Peacock eggs!” With that, Charlie forked a big chunk of egg and tossed it into her mouth. Immediately, her expression changed, and she spat it back onto the plate. “Ugh! Disgusting!”
Secretly, Vaggie felt relieved she wouldn’t need to try this thing herself. “Why are they blue?”
Charlie downed half a glass of juice.
“I wanted to find real peacock eggs, but only chicken ones were available. So I painted them with ink.”
Oh, that made sense.
“Why should they be from a peacock?”
“Well… I thought it’d be romantic! Peacock eggs, almond latte. Like I’m a prince delivering a bed-to-breakfast… breakfast-to-bed? Bad breakfast? – to the damsel of my heart.”
It took all of Vaggie’s willpower to ignore the last part. Also, she absolutely did not want to know where the princess had read this. Instead, she asked the main question: “And why… why did you even decide to bring…” She notices the princess bringing the cup with coffee to her lips, “Stop!! Don’t dri—”
Too late. Charlie took a sip of the potentially-poisoned-coffee and started coughing. Vaggie signed. No matter how terrible the breakfast was, it was definitely a romantic gesture (Charlie said so herself. So, did she mean it? Probably?)
Vaggie needed to stop being a useless lesbian.
“I appreciate you trying, Charle. How about this: I’ll take you to the date and show you how humans do it.”
“Oh, Vaggie!” Charlie jumped on her, hugging and pushing them both on the bed. “I’m so happy you asked!”
The former exorcist had no idea how humans dated—but neither did the princess of hell. Nevertheless, a self-proclaimed goddess of irony was ready to organize the best date of her life.
***
“Big frappuccino with almond syrup and marzipan cake, please! And a piece of frangipane tart. And maybe an apple strudel? Thank you!”
Vaggie fondly looked at Charlie, amazed that the princess’ love of almonds and coffee was still strong after the breakfast mishap. Personally, she wouldn’t be ready to look at those damned nuts and beans for an indefinite amount of time.
They were in a nice café in the quieter part of Pentagram City, with dim lights, squishy chairs, and slow jazz. Finding a place without awful-loud electronic music took some research, and Vaggie felt proud to bring Charlie here.
“I like this place,” The angel said, dreamily gazing at the princess. She liked her too, but it was better to keep that part to herself. “What about you?”
Charlie smiled and looked around.
“I love it, Vaggie! Thank you for bringing me here.”
In the background, a soft voice started singing.
Stars shinin' bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper, "I love you"
Birds singin' in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me
Enthralled by the song and the sight of Charlie, Vaggie felt a surge of courage and started to reach for her hand. But just as she did, Charlie ducked under the table, pulling out a notebook and pen from her bag. Vaggie quickly pulled her hand back, nervously resting it on the lap.
“Okay, so this is what human dates look like?” The princess opened the notebook and clicked the pen, looking at the angel expectantly.
Vaggie froze. What was this question?
“I… I guess?” Romantic thoughts aside, she couldn’t let Charlie know she had no idea. Determined not to spoil the date, Vaggie reminded herself of her decision to stop being a useless lesbian. “Yes! This is one of the things humans… we, humans, do on dates.”
“Oh, so there is more? Tell me everything!”
Crap. Vaggie was nervously tapping in her lap. Now she needed to create a story, and she sucked at those. Thing, Vaggie, think. The only human she knew was Adam... Wait, weren’t all humanity technically his descendants? This meant they should be at least somewhat alike. What would Adam do on the date?
The angel felt a wave of confidence.
“Humans on a date will eat a lot of ribs and drink a lot of beer. This a traditional, I think? Eve being made of Adams's rib and everything. To ensure dominance from the male’s side and submission from the woman’s. Then, they would go to a woman’s place, and a man would fuck her so hard she can’t walk in the morning. Preferably without protection, so she would get pregnant. After, a man would wait for a woman to fall asleep and sneak out to never meet her again. And then a man will brag about this. A lot. I mean, a lot.” After chattering all of this, Vaggie was out of breath but felt a bit proud of herself. This picture of the date was accurate, given Adam’s bragging. Undoubtedly, it would convince Charlie.
It would convince Charlie about ways humans date. With them being in the middle of the date. Fuck.
Vaggie stopped, trying to decipher the princess’ reaction. For a minute or so, she frantically wrote in her notebook, showing no surprise at Vaggie’s words, then raised her eyes on Vaggie and pointed at something on the page.
“So you’ve mentioned ribs. Should it be pig’s ribs or human’s?” The princess looked like a scholar, addressing the teacher about an unclear part of the lecture. At another time, the angel would find it cute, but now her mind was completely overtaken by panic.
Vaggie opened her mouth, wishing to do two things at once: explain her nonsensical speech (though she was unsure how to do this) and ask Charlie how she’d assumed human ribs were on the plate there (pun not intended). Then, she realized she could not do both and closed her mouth. The pause felt like an eternity.
For the better or for the worse, a waiter appeared with their order. He put desserts and coffee in front of Charlie and a cup of tea with a red velvet cake in front of Vaggie. The angel noticed he had black eyes, just like a child she had saved during the extermination. Strangely enough, it calmed her.
To give herself a moment, Vaggie took a bite. Hell had a funny way of making red velvet. She had another one and took a breath.
“Definitely not human’s ribs, Charlie. Humans don’t practice cannibalism.” Vaggie said with low-key confidence. She was pretty cynical about humanity but wished to believe there were lines even they wouldn’t cross.
Princess raised her eyes from her dessert.
“Oh, I see. So, you’re not like other humans?”
“Why… do you think so?” The angel asked suspiciously. For some reason, she was suddenly getting a sense of doom approaching her.
“This cake you ordered. Why are you eating it then?”
Vaggie froze. Instantly, she sensed a familiar copper smell coming from the cake. Feeling nauseous, she pushed the plate as far from herself as possible. Princess raised her brows.
“I see… you didn’t know? About this place?”
“What are you talking about?”
“This part of the city is a Cannibal Town! And this is a cannibal café.” The princess said cheerfully. Vaggie stared at her, completely lost the ability to speak. Charlie continued as if she hadn’t just dropped a bomb on the angel’s head. “So, do I have to order ribs? Personally, I’d prefer just the cake, but I don’t want to offend your traditions. Then we can fuck, that’s easy… Not sure about the part about leaving, though… How should it work if we’re sharing an apartment? Will going to my room be enough, or should I leave the place? I guess I can book a room at the hotel... Or! We can fuck in the hotel, and then I leave the apartment, and you will stay. Which one do you prefer? Personally, I’d stay at the hotel myself; this sounds like an adventure!”
Vaggie felt another wave of nausea and stood up from her chair.
“Sorry, I need to…”
She hurried to the restroom. This was the worst date of her life.
***
After a disastrous date, Vaggie realized two things. First, she definitely had a crush on Charlie. Second, she had absolutely no idea if the princess felt the same (and, also, no idea how to approach her anymore. They had a date, for heaven’s sake! Charlie literally suggested for them to fuck! What did it even mean?)
“Vaggie, I have a question to ask,” said Charlie. They were having breakfast at home with a takeaway from the café nearby that Vaggie had taken half an hour ago. She had gained this habit after the breakfast three days ago.
‘Better safe than sorry’ had become the new motto of the goddess of irony. Yet somehow, she still found herself feeling both extremely unsafe and extremely sorry each fucking time. She supposed it was just the way things in hell had been working.
“Sure, go on,” Vaggie asked, trying not to feel suspicious. Usually, the big questions from Charlie meant she needed to invent a new story. She was sick of inventing new stories. She sucked at new stories. All she wanted was to stop thinking about the past—both real and imagined—and focus on the future. Ideally, with Charlie.
“When you are thinking about sex, what is the first thing that would come to your mind? Shibari—or silently masturbating while thinking about the person you like but have no courage to approach—until your hand feels numb and your mind goes crazy?”
The second one felt alarmingly accurate. Also, “What?” Vaggie choked with her crepe, staring at the princess. Charlie laughed nervously, looking embarrassed.
“Oh, for some reason, I thought it was a common thing,” She tapped her knuckle on the table. “Actually, it was my father. Ha! He’s always saying sinners are perverts, so I tried to come up with the most awful perversion I could imagine… so, this isn’t accurate, right?”
Vaggie stared at the princess, speechless. For the first time, Charlie was right, but there was no way the goddess of irony was going to admit that aloud.
***
In the fourth week after Vaggie’s fall, she realized three things with devastating clarity:
- There was no way she could confess her feelings to Charlie. (As time passed, this turned out to be true.)
- Silently masturbating while thinking about the person you like but have no courage to approach—until your hand feels numb and your mind goes crazy—was indeed her path for the foreseeable future. (This one also turned out to be true.)
- There wasn’t enough time in the world to gain even a basic understanding of Charlie’s actions. (This one turned out to be false. However, future Vaggie would find herself far less pleased about this than she thought she would.)
There was also a fourth realization, though it lacked the clarity of the previous three. At first, it seemed like a crazy idea that appeared in her messed-up brain. It went something like this:
Charlie is the child of the Devil.
Charlie is the first and the only child of the Devil.
Charlie is obsessed with learning as much as she can about humanity.
As heavenborn, Vaggie had heard many tales about the Antichrist, the very reason that justified her existence as an exorcist. One day, the Antichrist would be born (reborn?) into the human world, establish a perverse church, lead humanity to inevitable doom, and start a war with heaven, combining the forces of hell and living humanity. A tale meant to scare innocent heavenborn children. Whether it was true or not, it was something expected to happen in the very distant future.
Now, Vaggie wasn’t so sure about the “distant” part.
***
“Let’s dance!”
They were on the roof of their building. Turf wars, which were a seemingly normal thing to happen after the Exterminations, were finally dying down, and hell was enjoying relative peace and quiet. Vaggie was sitting with her legs dangling over from the edge of the roof while Charlie circled on its surface in movements only she could make sense of. Her dance was both strange and captivating. Vaggie smiled. “But there is no music!”
Charlie took her hand and pulled Vaggie to her feet. In the blink of an eye, they were waltzing in the dangerously wide arcs, moving far too close to the edge for the angel’s comfort.
"You know this isn’t safe, right?" She finally said, out of breath.
"Isn’t this fun? I love heights! But you have wings, right?" Charlie asked nonchalantly.
Vaggie froze. "How do you know I have—"
Charlie swiftly turned, dipping Vaggie backward until her head hovered over what seemed like 300 feet of empty air.
“You could just fly if I let you go... not that I would, but maybe I should, just to see? No, no, I’m kidding! Or am I? What do you think? Oh! This would make such a fun experiment! What emotion do you have right now? Afraid? Terrified?”
Vaggie could hardly take it anymore.
"I do, Charlie! And I don't know how you figured it out, but yes, I have wings. I'm an angel, okay? A fallen angel. A former exorcist!" Vaggie squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself. Charlie held her in the dip, the sensation of nothingness below beginning to feel strangely comforting. The angel felt a twisted sense of relief at the thought that Charlie could drop her at any moment, ending her torment.
For what felt like an eternity, they remained frozen in that position. When Vaggie could no longer feel the pressure of Charlie's grip, she cautiously opened one eye. Charlie was beaming.
"What? Wooooow!" The princess said excitedly, somehow dipping Vaggie even lower.
"Wooooow? That's all you have to say?" Vaggie asked, incredulous.
Charlie finally lifted her back up and took a step away. "You being an angel is the best thing I could ask for! I never thought I’d get to study one so closely,” She said, then frowned.” However, it means I'll have to find another human to study... Several, maybe? A whole lot of humans! Just to be sure. It seems there's a decent chance of running into angels in hell!"
"Not that decent, really..."
Seemingly oblivious to Vaggie’s words, Charlie continued. "How do I lure them in? Hmm…” She appeared deep in thought—then beamed again. “A place! I need a place! With free stays and everything. It worked with you, right? So!” She grabbed Vaggie's shoulders and turned her. “Where do you humans usually hang out?"
"Not exactly a human, but, ugh, I dunno, hotels?"
Charlie’s eyes widened. "HOTELS! Vaggie, you're a genius!" She stopped for a moment, then added. "...By the way, doesn’t everyone have wings?”
From the rooftop, hell seemed almost peaceful. Vaggie looked at it with a strange feeling of longing. She could have ended up in so many other places after her fall, but instead, she was here. She took a moment to collect her thoughts.
So, Charlie, apparently the Antichrist, apparently destined to bring doom to all living things, had just inadvertently recruited a fallen angel to set up her first church.
Oh, the irony.