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The school year had gotten to be the hard part. It was past the beginning, not quite at the end, but there was an increasing amount of tests Tan had been subjected to. Of course, the more tests equaled the more studying Tan’s time would be occupied with. Tan still made time to see Fang, but once Fang found out Tan was giving up study time, Tan was quickly told off. They still saw each other for lunch and occasionally when Tan would have a break between tests on the weekends.
It was true that he couldn’t get work done around Fang, but he thought he had done a decent job of pretending he was. Then there was the day that Fang found out. It’s not like they had gotten into a serious argument about it, Fang had just told Tan that he needed to focus on his studies and he didn’t want to be a distraction to him by being there. Everything Fang said was reasonable and backed up with evidence, but Tan still attempted to fight his case for a bit before his ultimate guilty verdict.
If Tan didn’t study he would most likely fail his tests, the result is failing his class, which would then end in him having to retake the class. Retaking the class would mean even less time with Fang in the long run, so studying it was.
He had been counting down till this test for who knows how long. Tomorrow was the day his seemingly lifelong sentence would be over. The test Tan had tomorrow was supposed to be his last for a while, it was a full chapter test and had almost 200 questions. He had made a vow to himself that if he wasn’t allowed to see Tan, then he might as well make his lost time worth being found later. Every minute he spent was reading, writing, and reviewing leading up to this test. He was completely confident that this test score would be the best in his life. His plan was to show Fang this score and use his good score as a means to never have to do any of this again. At least, that was the scenario he imagined happening that kept him studying this whole time.
The material was becoming meaningless to read, it was just before sundown and Tan was still studying, not that he needed to at this point. If anything he had been over-prepared for this test. But before Tan could go back to convincing himself he was actually doing any more studying his phone started to vibrate against the library table. Tan picks it up expecting the usual spam call or a friend phoning in some sort of favor, but when he sees the caller ID it’s Fang’s name that fills the screen. Tan eyes widen and he blinks a few times before accepting the call, “Babe? Is something wrong?”
There’s a few seconds of silence as if Fang is debating whether or not to speak, “I miss you.” Upon hearing that Tan softens completely, forgetting how tired and the amount of academic stress he is currently under. He readjusts in his chair and grips his phone a bit tighter.
“Aww, I miss you too babe,” Tan answers.
“Did you study today?” Fang questions.
Perhaps this was the real test, “I’m still on campus.” Tan retorts.
Fang replies, “It’s almost nighttime, you should go home.”
“You said you missed me, don’t you want to see me?” Tan teases. While he couldn’t hear it, Tan could tell Fang was sighing, and that made his pre-existing smile grow.
“I do, but not if I am a distraction,”
“Babe, I finished studying a while ago! Let me see you before my test tomorrow. It will encourage me,” he reasons.
“Exactly, you have a test tomorrow and the sun is about to set, that’s why you need to go home.”
Tan wouldn’t hear it, “I won’t sleep, I will be missing you the whole night,” he says, putting extra emphasis on the word ‘whole.’ After that, they bickered a bit more but Tan was able to successfully convince Fang eventually to let him see him. They agreed that Fang would head over to Tan’s apartment at the same time Tan left the school. Since they both attended the same college, it was easy for Fang to sleep over considering their destination in the morning was almost the same. Tan arrived first, but it wasn’t long before Fang showed up knocking at his door.
Tan quickly shuffled to the entrance and opened the door for Fang moving out of his way and closing the door behind him. Fang had a slight smile on his face, one that looked like he didn’t know was there. He must’ve missed him as much as Tan did, except Tan had a grin plastered proudly. “What are you smiling about?” Fang asked, but Tan could tell he already knew.
Tan didn’t hesitate to say his predictable cheesy quip, “You.” To which Fang rolled his eyes and walked further into the condo to a nearby window.
“The sun is setting,” Fang stated. Tan coming up from behind him rested his chin on Fang’s shoulder and latched his arms around his waist.
“Do you want to watch it together?” Tan asks.
Fang nods and Tan releases him from his hold on him, exchanging his hug for a hand instead to guide Fang out. They leave the main apartment building and go to the parking lot, sitting down next to each other on the curb, hands still intertwined. The pavement is warm from the full-time heat of Thailand, but the shadow cast by the sun’s lessening beam of light ensures it isn’t too hot to rest skin on. The parking lot view may not be the most beautiful place to see the sunset, but Tan cared more about who he was with than what he was doing.
Fang rests his head on Tan’s shoulder, “I want you to do well, it’s not that I don’t want to see you.”
Tan uses his free hand to support the back of Fang’s head, “Babe, I already knew that. That’s why I studied so hard,” he reassures him. Fang doesn’t reply to this but instead lifts his head up to lean into Tan. Tan, with his hand still placed on the back of Fang’s head pushes them together gently.
The transition of all the colors seemed to be so slow. From blue to orange to purple, to full-on stars and moon. The stages of colors seemed to contradict one another, like something that couldn’t be real, but it was and they were both witnessing it. Something so natural in life such as a sunset, seems to be the most unnatural sight. The way the sun hid way, the sky and its many stages, it all happened so fast yet so slowly. Tan can relate the feeling to what he has for Fang; The many stages of the sun, compared to the memories of them weren’t so off to him, It was just as hard for Tan to believe he was with Fang as it was to believe that the bright blue sky became the dark blue night.