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Chapter Text

I lost an Agni Kai. To Zuko. Was Father right to leave me behind after all? How could I have lost? These are Azula's first thoughts as she's lead to a cell in the Tower. The door clangs shut behind her. All thoughts of anger leave her mind, and confusion sets in, and a strange tightness begins to surround her chest.

"Azula, you aren't just your father's child." Her mother's voice again. "You're mine too. And I love you, Azula."

Her mother appears behind her from the shadows in the corner. Her clothes are the black ones that Azula had seen her wear right before she'd gone to bed the night of her mother's disappearance. The dark cloth and her hair blends with the shadow created by the wall. It almost looks as though she's a ghost.

"Why don't you go bother Zuko? You always loved him more!" Azula retorts. She looks around for something to throw.

"I love you both. Zuko needed me more, but that doesn't mean that I loved you less." Her mother reaches towards her. "Please, believe me, my dear Azula."

"GO AWAY!" Azula throws a fist and a deep red flame launches in the direction of her mother. Mother disappears, still reaching for her.

"Who are you talking to? Crazy kid." A guard passes by her cell door.

Azula bristles at this and tries to burn him through the bars. Her flame is still a dim red, barely there at all. The guard stands there, unharmed. He smirks as he walks up to touch the metal bar of the cell. His hand closes around it and he leaves it there comfortably.

The tightness in Azula's chest becomes utterly suffocating, but she keeps her breathe steady.

"Oh, so you can hear me. I'm sorry, Princess." His tone says he's anything but.

"I want to see my brother! Bring him to me!" She shouts.

He's going to pay for this. He must have sent the Avatar to find Mother in the Spirit World and bring her back to taunt me! I'll have more than a few words for him!

She feels familiar flickering flame in her hand, but the man regards her calmly, with arrogant bemusement.

"Crown Prince Zuko hasn't the time. He's preparing for his coronation." The guard leaves abruptly, before she gets another chance to burn him. She hears a few other guards join him in the hall.

"She's still talking to herself in there. Poor thing's gone completely insane. She actually thinks she can order us to bring Prince Zuko to her." The one from her door says. The ensuing chuckle bounces around the narrow walls, mixing with the remnants of the snide tone.

"It makes sense though, after all that's happened. She's still just a teenager." Another one says.

"Don't tell me that you're feeling sorry for her! That teenager took over Ba Sing Se from the inside, and was the one that Fire Lord Ozai had entrusted the kingdom to. That teenager is the youngest person in the records able to bend lightning! Do not feel sorry for her! That's the first step towards that monster getting out of there!" Door Guard shouts.

They continue speaking as they walk down another hall, but Azula can no longer distinguish the words from the echoes.

Monster. She reaches to her hair. Her roughly cut, tangled and dirty hair. Monster! She yanks it roughly. The pain is blinding, but only for a moment. She looks at the her hand. She feels the few strands of hair that have come loose dangling in the darkness, unseen, around her fingertips.

"I love you, Azula." Her mother's face appears in the shadowy corner again.

"Go away. You're just a ghost. And you would be alive if you had just let Father kill Zuko as planned. I wouldn't be here! I'd be with Father. This is your fault! GO AWAY!" Her flame burns a bright orange this time, but her mother doesn't disappear. Mother stays in the corner, looking sad and sympathetic. That makes Azula feel even worse.

"What do you want from me, Mother? When will you go away?" She can hear the strain in her own voice, but refuses to give in to her tears again. She's disgraced herself so much already today.

I lost to Zuko. I've failed Father. I am a monster. Mother doesn't love me! She is the reason I'm in this cell!

"Love yourself. You are a beautiful girl, Azula. Love your brother. He wants to help you." Mother's hand caresses her face, but Azula can't feel it.

"I hate you! I hate Zuko! I want my throne back! I hate you!" Her voice reaches screaming pitch as she throws more dim flames.

"Azula, you can hate me all that you want. But don't hate yourself. Don't hate." Her tone is soft and sympathetic. "It's not very smart, is it?" She arches an eyebrow, almost condescendingly. "Hatred is a weakness, Daughter. Learn to let it go." Her tone becomes soft again as she disappears into the shadows and is gone.

Startled by the sudden disappearance, Azula cautiously approaches the corner that her mother was just in. Finding nothing but the cold stone wall, her heart feels an emptiness she's never really known, and can't explain. She collapses against the wall, shivering in the damp, cold air.

Is Father dead too? She wonders. It would make sense that Father would be gone. If Zuko is the one calling the shots out there, and he's with Iroh and the Avatar, then it would make sense that the Avatar would have had to kill Father to end the war.

There must be a way out of here! That Airbender will pay for what he's done! I killed him once. The next time, he'll stay dead. For Father. For the Fire Nation!

She begins planning. She will reclaim the Fire Nation. For herself, since Father isn't here.

The Avatar must die quickly. Then the water tribes must be flushed away. But, Zuzu...My dear brother, I have hundreds of more fun ways to kill you for what you've done. You'll be wishing to relive that burn over your eye when I'm done with you.

She positions herself in the center of the room, trying to clear her mind enough to plan a way out of this predicament. Every now and then, she checks over her shoulder to look in the corner.

Chapter Text

Zuko's pov

Destiny sure does feel strange, even when you're expecting it. Zuko muses to himself.

Once Azula and Ozai were locked away, he was crowned Fire Lord. He looks around his room. The same one he'd had since he was a child. Everything is still as it was when he left to join the Avatar. A fine layer of dust has settled on everything.

Guess I'll have to clean up.

He runs a hand over some books, stopping as a rolled paper falls to the floor. He reaches for it and opens it. It is a picture that he'd painted once for Father, when he was very young. It depicts him and his mother playing with the turtle ducks. He'd painted himself firebending at an unseen target with his mother looking on proudly as she continued to feed the ducks.

I must have been only nine when I painted this! I completely forgot about it. I wonder how it got here. I didn't think Mother knew of it. I wonder why I never tried to give it to Father. He thinks as he wonders over to his bed. He lays down on his back, looking up at the ceiling.

"Dad's going to kill you! No, really, he is." He blinks and looks to the door, half expecting to see his sister there, as she was all those years ago, excited to watch his demise.

"Everything I've done, I did to keep you safe. No matter what happens, no matter how things may change, never forget who you are."

He cradles the painting to his chest, a lump growing in his throat. Getting up, he tucks the painting into a pocket. He closes the door behind him as he leaves, shutting out those ghosts in his mind.

I need to see Mai.

He disguises himself in his cloak, although everyone is likely asleep at this late hour. He needs the walk, and he needs it alone.

As he wanders past the familiar buildings, memories continue to stream through his mind. And out here in the streets of the city, he finds happier thoughts. How his mother loved the flowers at the local shop, the time he disguised himself and went to work for the store owner for a day to earn his choice of flowers for his mother. The time he went out to some of the struggling communities, at the bidding of his mother, and worked alongside them for a day, playing with their children, looking through their shops, helping on a smaller farm. He was in disguise then too, of course. Father would never have approved.

Mai is outside, getting water from the well, when he reaches her house. She doesn't see him arrive until he's almost next to her.

"Hello, beautiful." He whispers. She jumps a little, but to her credit, she manages not to scream.

"Zuko! Where have you been? I thought you would have sent for me or come to see me sooner." She says, although she doesn't sound angry. He envelopes her in a hug.

"I had a visit with Uncle and some friends in Ba Sing Se. And I've had to see to a few matters at the Palace. I'm sorry I kept you waiting."

"You are someone worth waiting for." She kisses his cheek. He kisses her back, but she pulls away and studies him.

"What's on your mind, Zuko? You have that moody look in your eyes. Not that I'm complaining. You're still adorable." She rests her head on his shoulder as they wander inside.

"Is everyone asleep?" He asks. She nods. "I've been thinking a lot about my mother. Father mentioned once that she was banished. Not dead. I don't know if he was lying or not. But I want to look for her. I've already sent out scouts and a few have sent promising reports. But it's also not exactly safe out there for Fire Nation citizens. There are still riots and fights. And now that the war's over, it makes more sense to bring them all back and avoid potential scenes. I want to start repairing the Fire Nation's image. We can't do that if our citizens are out there, getting attacked and having to defend, or starting fights in bars. You know."

"You're leaving? Already? But you just got back. You're the Fire Lord now, Zuko! You can't abandon your country just to go looking for your mother. Can't the Avatar help you? You taught him firebending. He owes you a favor." She crosses her arms and pouts. Zuko bites back a smile. She's so cute when she's hating the world.

"The Avatar owes me nothing. If anything, I owe him. He gave me my throne back. He helped me achieve my destiny. And he may have ended the war, but he still needs to restore balance. We have an entire elemental culture that was extinguished. We need the Air Nomads to keep the balance. He has to find a way to bring it all back. He has more on his plate than my mother and any one nation."

They sit down on the couch in her living room. Mai moodily grabs a star fruit from the bowl on the table in front of her and starts eating.

"Uncle Iroh is coming back to the Palace to look after things for a while. He's perfectly capable of looking after things while I'm away. Azula and Father are locked up, and they aren't going anywhere. I'll assign some guards to look out for you and your family. I promise you that I'm going to take every possible precaution to protect the Fire Nation. It's my home. My nation. My people."

"I'll go with you. I'm capable of defending myself. I don't want you going alone. You shouldn't have to be alone in this." She looks deep into his eyes. "I want to be there for you. I wasn't able to really be there when you needed me most." She reaches to touch his scar.

"That's not your fault. And besides, I kind of want to be alone with this for a while." He isn't sure how she'll feel about him talking with certain members of his family for information. "It's a lot to take in, and I'm still not sure I really believe it. If I need you, I'll send for you, or I'll come and get you. I promise."

She doesn't look like she really believes him. Her version of a glare starts to soften into something more neutral though. She's trying to believe him.

"Well, alright. But if I even think anything went wrong, or if you don't write, I'm coming after you!" She gives him a light shove and then curls up into him when he reaches to put his arm around her.

Chapter Text

I can do this. Deep breath in. Just stay calm, and he'll tell me what I need to know. Deep breath out.

Zuko enters the prison and slowly walks down the hall. The guard that looks at him remembers him from when he visited his Uncle and knows he isn't to speak of this. At least, that's what Zuko is assuming by the man's hastily lowered eyes and hurried footsteps going the other way.

His stomach twists in knots of either nervousness or excitement as he opens the door. He tamps it down. He has to be calm, firm, to get what he wants. Maybe even a little forceful. If his father sees any weakness, he won't tell him anything at all.

"I should count myself lucky. The new Fire Lord has graced me with his presence in my lonely prison cell." The voice seems to drip with hatred.

"You should count yourself lucky that the Avatar spared your life."

"Hmph."

" Banishing me was the best thing you could have done for my life. It put me on the right path; perhaps your time in here can do the same for you."

"Why are you really here?" He seems bored. Like he has more important things to do than talk to his son.

"Because you are going to tell me something." Zuko hardens his voice. "Where. Is. My mother?"

Ozai laughs. Short and bitter.

"I lied. Your mother is dead, boy. Now, leave me. Go play Fire Lord and see how well you do."

Zuko's stomach drops to his feet, but he manages to keep his voice steady.

"I've asked around the city. There were people who saw her leave that day." He's bluffing, but it's really his only card to play.

"I've killed or imprisoned anyone who may have known anything. They are gone." Ozai snarls. He's not quite admitting anyone in the city saw anything, but...

"Evidently, you've missed a few." Zuko keeps pressing his luck.

"Very well. I did banish her. It would have looked too suspicious, two members of the royal family dying in the same night. I don't know if she's still alive or where she might be. Sorry that I can't be more help."

Zuko can't help the small fireball that flies from his fist into the wall.

"Temper, temper." His father chides. "Can't be destroying your image now, can you? I'm sure there are plenty of people who are less than happy with you already, and would be glad for any excuse to overthrow you."

Zuko ignores him and stomps out the door.

Where could she be? She wasn't a firebender, so maybe she tried to pass as Water Tribe. But the Poles would have been hard to get to. Although it's been a few years. She's had time. The Earth Kingdom is huge! Where would she be? She had family somewhere in the Fire Nation. Maybe I can find them. Maybe she hid with them. Should I ask Azula?

His feet take him towards his sister's cell.

Chapter Text

Azula is wishing she could claim to be bored. But Mother won't leave her alone. Every hour or so, she's back to talking to her, trying to coax her into believing that she loves her. Azula can't figure out why it's so very important to Mother. She could care less.

The guards feed her three times a day, a bowl of rice and some fruit. Water is available in waterskins that are refilled at every meal and are enough to last through the day. She's tried to talk to them, sway them to her side. But she isn't having much luck so far.

Fear isn't working, since she's locked up, her firebending is weakened greatly with prolonged sunlight deprivation, and Mother isn't helping by interrupting most of her conversations with things she can't ignore. The guards all think her insane. They can't see or hear Mother's ghost. She's tried to appeal to their patriotic side. But that doesn't have much effect since their view of honor and loyalty is so strongly tied to the Fire Lord's current opinion. Whatever he thinks, as a general rule, they think too. She doesn't yet know enough about them to try to appeal to their sense of family or long term security.

One of them has a daughter, another has two very young sons. That's all she's managed to figure out so far, from what little she hears of their discussions. The echoes in this place make it hard to distinguish words at a distance. She can only hear them when they are close by.

The sound of the door creaking open interrupts her thoughts.

"Come to see me so soon, Brother? I knew you would miss me." She smirks and turns to face him. He is dressed in a robe with a hood. He clearly wishes nobody to know he is here. That's your first mistake.

"I'm not sure you have a concept of what missing someone is." He retorts. His tone is pointedly bland, but she can still hear...something under the surface. She has no idea what it could be though.

"What do you want? I'm busy." She waves a dismissive hand and turns back to face the wall behind her.

"Doing what? Talking to yourself?" He scoffs.

"Ask the guards. I'm sure they'll tell you all about it." She sighs in exasperation.

"Do you know where Mother is?" His tone is almost gentle. Almost.

"I'm right here, Azula. I'll never leave you. I love you both." Her mother's face appears from the shadows again. Azula clenches her fist. I will not acknowledge you! Not with Zuko here! But maybe I can use you to my advantage.

"Mother is dead, Zuko. She has been for years." She turns back around, wanting to watch all the pain stretched across his face.

"You said when she left that nobody knew where she was. How can you be so sure that she's dead?" He's keeping his face blank intentionally, but she knows he can't keep the game up.

"Nobody knew. At the time." She shrugs. "What makes you so sure she's alive?"

"Father told me she was banished. During the day of Black Sun."

"He was lying to keep you there until the firebending came back. He told me all about it. You're so pathetic, you know."

"I told him that I found someone in the city who saw her leave. He admitted that he had only banished her. But he doesn't know where she is."

So Father is still alive after all. This is good news. Very good.

"Well, sorry to say, but I'm pretty sure she's dead. I found out just before our Agni Kai." She relishes the brief look of fear and grief that flashes across his face.

"How do you know? Who told you?" His voice is a tiny bit lower than normal. Anyone who didn't know him would miss it. But he's getting pretty upset.

"Well, if Mother were alive," She lets her voice turn ominous, "then how is it that her ghost won't leave me alone? She made me lose to you. She comes and speaks to me at all hours. Explain to me, brother, how that can be if she isn't dead?" She clenches her fist and shoots a very dim red flame in her brother's general direction.

"They're right, aren't they? You're insane. You're seeing things that aren't there." A number of different emotions play across his face. Azula can't decipher one from the rest.

"I AM NOT INSANE!" She thunders. "Now leave me to whatever peace I might find in this place! Be gone!"

The odd emptiness that she'd felt the first day in this place when her mother had disappeared comes back with a vengeance when Zuko slams the door behind him.

Father is alive. Somehow, the thought makes the emptiness go away. I must find a way to get word to Father that I'm still here. I must get someone to listen to me!

Chapter Text

Zuko takes a deep breath of night air as he steps out of the prison tower. He needs to calm down.

I guess that went about as well as could be expected. He thinks. I knew she was crazy, but...He pulls his hood up over his head, so that it hides his face in shadow. I guess I just didn't expect it to be that bad. I'll have to see if I can get her to a hospital.

He'd been momentarily angry when she'd told him Mother died with such finality, but when she'd mentioned seeing Mother's ghost, Zuko understood that she truly believed that their mother was talking to her. He'd seen her eyes flick to the back corner of her cell briefly while they'd spoken. He wants to be angry. He wants to hate her. But all he can feel is sorrow. He knows what it's like to lose everything and to be dishonorably ousted from the royal family.

But I had Uncle. She has nobody. No! I can't take her with me! She may be crazy, but I just confirmed that Father is alive. She will try to contact him and gain support for another coup.

He's angry at himself for giving that away. He really is. He could've helped his sister, or brought her along, or done something to get her better living quarters! But now he can't, because every person that comes into contact with her becomes a potential risk.

"Zuko!" Mai's voice snaps him out of his thoughts. "I didn't believe my cousin when he said it, but I came up here to prove him wrong anyway."

"Mai, what are you doing here? It's the middle of the night!" He reaches for her and she pulls away. He feels like someone just stabbed him.

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here, Zuko?! Why are you talking to them? Do you know what people will say if they find out? Do you realize the danger you're putting your country in?!" Her eyes can shoot lightning. Zuko is sure of it. He's never heard of any firebender who can shoot lightning with just their eyes (except for maybe Combustion Man? Maybe?), but he is certain of it in this moment that Mai can.

"Mai! Please, try to understand! I had to go to my Father for information on my mother's whereabouts. He might have known something."

"Oh," She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "And I suppose that explains why you went to see the crazy sister who tried to kill you! My friend who tried to kill me because I got in her way?"

"Father didn't know anything. Right before the Agni Kai, she asked me how Mother got to us, how she convinced us to kill her. I thought maybe she knew something that Father didn't." He turns away from her, looking out across the buildings below them.

"Did she?" Mai's tone is still challenging.

"No. She thinks Mother is dead. Because she swears that Mother's ghost is haunting her." He doesn't want to believe her. But while Azula may be crazy, he knows there is a good chance after all those years alone out there in a world that hated Fire Nation people, that Azula could still be right. Maybe she isn't completely crazy.

"She's crazy, Zuko. She's talking to herself. My cousin's heard it, the other guards have, it's been that way since it happened. She doesn't know anything." Her voice is quiet now, but still hard and cold as ice. Every word hurts.

"I'm sorry, Mai. I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I just wanted to narrow down the search." His shoulders drop as he turns to face her.

"And what about me? Why didn't you tell me you were going to do this, Zuko? How can I trust you if you keep secrets from me? How can I believe anything you say?" Her voice softens, and Zuko knows by the pain he hears in her voice what's coming next. But he tries anyway.

"Mai, I'm sorry. No more secrets. I promise. I'll tell you everything. You can go with me if you want." He reaches for her, tries to pull her into a hug.

"No, Zuko. If it's so important to you do this on your own, then fine. Do it. Alone. I don't need you. You clearly don't need me."

"That's not true!" He shouts.

"We're done, Zuko. I'm sorry." She turns away and starts walking down the path.

"What about just taking a break? What if we just need time to think things over? I love you, Mai!" He calls after her.

"Then you should have told me the truth." She says resolutely. "Goodbye, Zuko."

His heart shatters. He lets out an angry yell and just manages to avoid shooting bursts of flame into the sky. He's tempted to take a walk around the city to try to think things through. But he notices that the sun is about to come up and continues quickly on his way back to the palace. He shouldn't be seen by anyone else near the prison tower tonight. And besides, Uncle will arrive soon. He wants to have everything ready for his arrival.

-0o0-o0o-0o0-o0o-

"Nephew! It is good to see you again!" Iroh throws his arms wide as Zuko hurries to hug him.

"It's only been a few weeks, Uncle." He laughs. "Let me help you with that." He takes one of Uncle's bags. "How is your tea shop?"

"Fine, fine. It's always nice to see people enjoying their day. And you do hear the most interesting news from the city, and occasionally from a few more distant places. Trade has been opening up, so I've had quite a few traveling merchants through. Their wives often stop by in the afternoon while the children nap. There is a lot changing in the world right now." They walk to Uncle's old room. Iroh sits on the bed as Zuko carefully places his bag on the table across from him.

"Hear anything about the Avatar?" Zuko is already starting to miss his former student and his friends.

"No, the last that I heard, they were still planning to go back to the Southern Air Temple. I haven't heard anything yet of your mother, but I'll be keeping my ears open." He places a hand on Zuko's shoulder.

"How have things been here? How is your lady friend?" He asks. Zuko feels his heart squeeze at the thought. He already misses Mai.

"She, uh... She broke up with me. For keeping secrets from her. I tried to apologize, to suggest maybe we take a break and think things over, but she wasn't having it." Zuko sits beside his Uncle and runs his hands over his face and through his hair, messing up the tidy top knot in the process. "I really messed up."

"What sort of secrets? Is there more than one girl?" He puts a finger on his chin thoughtfully.

"Uncle!" Zuko exclaims, horrified.

"What? I just thought I'd ask." He shrugs.

"No, Uncle. I would never do that to Mai. Ever! But I should have told her what I was up to. I made her think I just wanted to be alone with the search for Mother for a while, when really, I knew she wouldn't like the idea of me going to speak with Father and Azula. I was worried she'd tell me not to go. And I know if she had, I still would have gone. And then she would have broken up with me for that." Zuko lets himself fall onto his back. "What do I do, Uncle?"

"Well, you certainly did make a mistake. Never lie to a woman and expect it to go well, Nephew. As for what you should do... Do nothing. If you keep going back to her, it will only cause problems for you both. Let her come to you, if she changes her mind. Until then, assume that you have to move on." He gets up and begins to unpack.

"But I love her, Uncle." His voice strains, just a little. What's wrong with me? What was I thinking?

"Love is a funny thing, Zuko. It appears where you least expect it, and it shows itself in the strangest ways. You're still young. Keep an open mind. You never know what lies around the next bend in the road. Now," He holds up a kettle and two cups. "How about some tea?"

Zuko can't help the small smile that spreads across his face. He's missed Uncle Iroh.

Chapter Text

Once they have spread a little blanket on the ground and Uncle has brewed and served their tea, they sit and observe the two turtle ducks in the pond. The creatures are minding their own business, slowly paddling around and enjoying the sunlight and the water.

"So, how have things been around here? Is running the country all that you thought it would be?" Uncle leans back and looks at his nephew.

"It's difficult, but not impossible. Those suggestions that you sent me for those first meetings with the Earth Kingdom nobles sure helped. I have a lot to learn though." Zuko pours another cup of tea for his uncle as he speaks. He's missed Uncle's tea.

"Have you been keeping up with your meditation in the mornings? It always helped to calm you while we were on the ship."

"Yes, and it helps. But there is still so much to do and to think about and learn!" Zuko's tone turns a bit frustrated.

"A calm mind is a person's greatest asset in the fog of chaos." Zuko thinks he hears, but he isn't sure, because he's already on to the next thing.

"And now, I need to go look for Mother. I sent out search parties for her weeks ago. They've found people that match Mother's description. But there is no way to know for sure, and if they're wrong and they reveal themselves as Fire Nation, it may not go over well in some of those communities." He sets his cup down and rests his chin in his hand.

"What makes you think you'll be any different?" Uncle raises his eyebrow in curiosity. A turtle duck wanders up to him and he offers it a piece of fruit tart. The little creature grabs it and hurries back towards it's nest, only to be caught in a gaggle of it's siblings, all wanting a piece for themselves.

"I'll have an alibi. A disguise. Something! I had practice as Lee. Maybe I can create someone new. I think I might start out in Fire Nation colonies anyway. She may have tried to hide there, or passed through. Maybe someone saw something. Or maybe I should check on Kyoshi Island first. Since they were neutral. And because I sort of burned down their village. Or maybe I should check out the lead I have from the Northern Water Tribe first?" He absentmindedly takes a sip of tea.

"You still don't know?" Uncle shakes his head in a mix of exasperation and bemusement. "You still never think these things through."

"I have plenty of time to think it through while traveling. It will be at least a few days at sea. Maybe a week. I'll know more when I get out there." Zuko stares into his cup. "I wonder if she'll want to see me, after all these years."

"What are you talking about?!" The surprise is emphatic in his voice. "Of course she'll want to see you! You're her son!"

"Will she recognize me?" He points to his scar. "What if she thinks I'm ugly or something? And she doesn't even know what happened to Azula! What if she hates me for ruining my sister?"

"Your mother could never hate you!" He reaches for Zuko's shoulder. "And what does Azula have to do with this? She was destroyed by her own pride. My brother didn't help matters. What could you have done, Nephew?"

"Maybe I could have talked to her after the Agni Kai." He feels the flicker of irritation stir in his chest. "Maybe I could have helped her somehow!" He notices the tension in his shoulders and takes a deep breathe, trying to relax them. "When we were at Ember Island, right before I joined the Avatar, she was able to open up a bit with us around the campfire." He murmurs. "She said she thought Mother had seen her as a monster, and that it hurt. She used the past tense, but the way she looked into the fire, how her voice got quiet...I wonder if it still bothered her. She even said, "She was right, of course." Like it was a good thing, something that she was proud of. But if she was proud of it, why wouldn't she look us in the eye while talking about it?" He meets his Uncle's eyes. "What if she doesn't want to be this way, Uncle?" He asks, in quiet despair.

What if she's like me? What if she knows she's on the wrong path, but doesn't know what to do about it? I had Uncle Iroh. And Mother. Azula, He realizes with a pang in his heart, She doesn't have anyone.

"It's possible, but remember that all of that was before she tried to kill you in an Agni Kai. Your sister as you know her may be gone, Nephew." Uncle starts to rub his shoulder. Zuko leans into it, just a little.

"We used to play together. When we were very young. Before she discovered that she could firebend. She could still be horrible, but she wasn't crazy." He gazes sadly at the turtle ducks swimming in the lake. A little fluttering breeze goes through the tree above them.

"Go get me a pile of rocks. All sizes, the more the better." Uncle orders suddenly. Zuko shoots him a confused glance, but gets up and begins doing as he's asked. When he has gathered three large rocks, and an assortment of smaller stones, he returns to his uncle, dropping them all at his feet.

"Has anyone ever taught you how to skip stones, Nephew? It is quite fun. Back in my day, every boy learned it from his father. It's always a great accomplishment to get more than four skips out of a single stone." Uncle stands, grabs a relatively flat stone, lines it up and throws. The little rock skitters across the water's surface three times and disappears under the ripples of it's wake.

"What does this have to do with my sister?" Zuko doesn't mean to use the harsh tone that he does, but why can't Uncle Iroh ever just come straight to the point?

"We'll get there in a moment, but first, you try. It is really quite fun." Iroh gleefully tosses another rock at the water. It jumps five times before going under. "Score!"He yells and leaps, as though he won a round of Flickerball. Zuko rolls his eyes, but does as he's commanded.

With a distinct plop!, his stone disappears as quickly as though it were weighted with lead.

"Like this, Nephew." Iroh hands him a flatter stone than his previous one, and shows him how to hold it, with the thumb and forefinger along the edges, and how to flick it towards the water. "It's all about the angle and the wrist."

Zuko tries again, with a shallower angle and a good flick of the wrist. The stone jumps once and then is gone.

They practice for a few more minutes, until Zuko's stones almost manage to catch up to Uncle's at six jumps.

Uncle Iroh appears to be having the time of his life.

Suddenly, one of the larger rocks Zuko throws lands with a loud plonk!, sending up a spray of water at his Uncle. Uncle freezes and stares at him.

"Sorry, Uncle. Maybe it's too big to skip?" Zuko has to try not to laugh at the look false horror on his Uncle's face.

"The size of the stone doesn't matter when it comes to getting it skip. It is the stone thrower and his tactics, or lack thereof." Uncle says slowly. He moves towards Zuko. Zuko instinctively takes a step back. "You must learn how to think more carefully before you act." He bends down and massages some water over his arms.

"I will, Uncle." Zuko promises, not sure now whether he should still be biting back laughter or sitting down to listen to what his Uncle has to say.

"And I will show you why."

A quick flash of a smile is all the warning Zuko gets before he finds himself getting splashed and soaked through.

Laughing, he follows his Uncle further into the shallow pond, splashing as much as he can between steps. They bound back onto land and begin throwing the remaining rocks in, no longer skipping them, but just to enjoy the sounds of the splashing.

The turtle ducks had fled when the two crazy people had entered their territory, and were now watching this strange spectacle from the relative safety of their nest.

When all the rocks are gone, Uncle sits down again, panting with the exertion. Zuko follows suit, only slightly less out of breathe than his uncle. Uncle brews and pours more tea as Zuko is thinking things over for himself and wondering once more if his uncle had forgotten his original question.

"I haven't had that much fun since our day chasing the pirates!" Uncle laughs.

"Uncle, it was fun. But I'm still waiting to hear what the point of it was." Zuko sips his tea, feeling himself getting moody again.

"You do realize that good, honest fun doesn't always need to have a point, right?"

"Uncle!" Zuko is seriously considering finding something to throw at him.

"All in good time, Nephew. One day, you'll know." Iroh sits back against the tree's trunk, and calmly finishes his tea.

Zuko glares at his Uncle and sips his own tea, trying to figure out his Uncle's new lesson.

The wind sighs through the trees again, and Zuko takes a deep breathe of the sweet late summer air, and feels somewhat content, even as his thoughts continue to churn.

Chapter Text

"Oh, what an honor! What brings you to see me today, dear brother?" Azula's hateful tone still manages to jar him. But when he looks past it, he can see the fear in her eyes. It's hidden away behind a wall of rage, but it's very definitely there.

"You're going to go somewhere to get help." He states. A guard steps up behind him and unlocks the cell.

"I don't need your help, brother. I don't need any help! What I need is to see Father. I have some things that I wish to discuss with him." She sounds exasperated.

Zuko feels his heart tighten again. Does she even realize what's happened to her? Does she really think she's alright? Or is she just terrified of the idea of getting help? A million other possibilities go through his mind. He can't help but feel bad for his sister. He feels guilty all over again for missing the obvious before. He'd known she was off that day, but he hadn't realized that it wasn't temporary.

"You can't do this to me! Unhand me!" She shouts at the guard. She manages to burn his wrist through the heat of her hands, but she's unable to shoot flame now.

"Try that again, I'll return your burns double." Zuko keeps his tone steady, but makes it clear that he isn't joking.

"You wouldn't. You don't have it in you." Azula smirks. She burns the guard again, and Zuko follows through on his threat, grabbing her arms and heating his hands enough to leave some minor burns.

"I don't? You aren't in control now, Azula. You can't firebend. You know you can't. I don't want to hurt you. So, please just come quietly. I promise everything will be ok." He says gently. He takes her from the guard and proceeds out of the room and down the hall. A group of about fifteen guards surrounds them.

Azula continues to struggle and Zuko has to hold her by the elbows to avoid burns. He is more balanced than she is and every time she manages to slip from his grasp, he evades her feet kicking up or trying to trip him, dodges any fists or little sparks that she throws, then smoothly reaches and turns her back around so that she's facing the direction that they are moving and holding her elbows again. It's an almost continual dance, but he has no concern that she'll get through fifteen guards in her present state, so he holds her somewhat loosely.

"Let go of me! I bet you wouldn't be so confident if you didn't have your guards! Face me like a Fire Lord, and not like a coward, brother." She shouts.

"Your insults don't work anymore." He says softly.

When they get to where they are going, Zuko looks at the place where he's going to leave his sister: A big, imposing building, and when they enter, they turn down a hall at the direction of a doctor, to find a very small room. It is padded along the floor, walls, and ceiling. There is no window, only a single oil lamp in the middle of the ceiling with no ignition tools visible, no bed, no table, nothing. The padding is soft though: Sewn cloth segments stuffed with feathers and fur.

Azula screams and lashes out more fiercely than before, but Zuko simply pushes her inside, steps back, and closes the door.

"We'll take care of her, my lord. She'll receive utmost treatment and be our top priority." The doctor promises. Another screech pierces the air.

"Are they all like this?" Zuko asks, speaking around the lump in his throat.

"Some of them. Everybody seems to have different problems here. Sadly, we are still learning about illnesses of the mind. It's a fairly new kind of medicine." The doctor explains.

"So my sister is an experiment to you?!" His voice rises a bit more than he intends.

"Not without a purpose. Please understand, Fire Lord Zuko, that we do care about our patients. We've founded this institution on the belief that no human is ever truly a monster. We've set out to heal whoever we can, however we can." The doctor's voice is calm, and not at all clinical. He sounds like he really means what he says. "But this is still new medicine. We don't know what works and what doesn't. Certain herbs seem to help some, talking out their feelings seems to help others. Everyone is different. It's never a straightforward approach."

"Tell me what you're going to do to her. And how can you keep her from hurting herself?" He crosses his arms in a nononsense way.

"Firstly, she can't burn her cell down. We've made sure to fireproof everything that she, or other Firebending patients come into contact with. Secondly, she will receive medicine on a daily basis that should help to calm her, make her more likely to open up and process her feelings with one of our nurses. We'll assign her a companion, who will be a nurse and will take care of things like feeding her, escorting her to appointments, being a confidante, when she feels ready for one. We may not know much about mind sickness yet, but this isn't our first attempt. She may not even be our worst case, but that remains to be seen. We'll do everything that we can."

Zuko bids the doctor good day and makes his way outside. He feels his eyes mist over on the way back to the palace.

Am I doing the right thing leaving her there? Maybe I should take her with me after all. Maybe if she sees Mother alive... She must be terrified right now. That room was an improvement over the cell, but I should have asked if they had anything bigger. I wonder if they'll give her anything to do there. What did I just do?

-0o0-o0o-0o0-o0o-

"Nephew? Are you alright?" Uncle asks as they load the last of Zuko's supplies onto the ship.

Zuko hears his Uncle, but it's the hand on his shoulder that snaps him out of his trance.

"What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Just thinking about Azula. The doctors seem like they really want to help, but it didn't really sound like they knew what they were doing. I almost want to go back and get her. Take her with me." He looks over at some shouting men, as they try to capture a young rhino that's gotten loose and is running away from the ship, upsetting his mother and the rest of the herd.

"You did the right thing." Uncle pulls him in for a side hug. "Taking her with you would have been unwise. She may not be right in the head, but I've been hearing that she is still thinking of ways to get out and break your father out. I don't know how much is true, and I don't know the guards very well, but they say that sometimes when she talks to herself, she speaks of ideas being bad or that an idea won't work, or something. If you take her along, you'd be taking an enormous risk. You can't find a lost treasure if there is always a snake leading you off the trail and into the bushes."

"I know. But it just feels wrong to leave her there." He gazes out at the ocean as his mind replays the fear he'd glimpsed in his sister's eyes.

"I'll check up on her frequently, even visit her when they allow it. I'll write to you and keep you updated. I'll let you know if you need to come back."

"Thank you, Uncle." Zuko turns and gives him a full hug.

The young rhino has been rounded up and loaded and the captain calls down for the last merchants and passengers to board.

"Have a good trip. Say hello to your mother for me when you find her!" Uncle calls as he waves.

"I will!" Zuko waves back until his Uncle disappears from view. He heads below deck to his cabin.

Chapter Text

Once she is convinced that she's alone, she lays back and stares up at the padded ceiling. She's already tried burning her way out, to no effect. Mother is hovering off to the side, but is mostly leaving her alone.

"Now what do I do? I can't get out of here without help. But everyone here thinks I'm crazy. I might have at least had a shot with those guards if given a few more days, but now, I have to start from scratch. And I can't hear them, and all they're going to do is get in my head and try to convince me that I'm wrong to want the throne. Or Father. I won't talk, no matter what they say. I won't speak." She says to herself resolutely. Her mother drifts closer. At least here with the light, she doesn't look so ghostly.

"Don't even think about it, Mother. I don't want you, I don't need you. Go away." Azula huffs. Her mother stays where she is, but says nothing.

The door slides open. A man about a foot and a half taller than her walks in. She recognizes him as the guard she'd overheard feeling sorry for her in the Tower. He'd slipped her extra food and kind words a few times.

Azula feels utter rage at seeing him again.

"What are you doing here? Go away! I don't want your pity." She snaps.

"I'm sorry, Princess, but I'm afraid that my orders are to stay close to you. My name is Chey. I am here to help you get to your appointments, bring you your meals, and to listen if you have anything you wish to speak of during your stay here." He bows briefly and takes a seat close to the center of the room.

"How did you manage to get transferred here? I would think they would have put someone in here with the training to work with the insane. Unless, of course, you intend to beat me back to sanity." She crosses her arms and taps her foot.

"I asked specifically for this post. I'm not sure that anyone else feels the way I do about you. I want to help you. The doctor does too, and the nurses, but they are not able to restrain you effectively between your quarters and their offices. Basically, they wanted a guard from the military for extra protection. Everyone else that I know of thinks I'm crazy to want to help you. But I know you can't be all bad. I have a daughter of my own. She is about six or seven now. I don't see her often. You're only fourteen. You still have so much to learn and so much life ahead of you! It would be a shame to see you waste it all behind walls and bars. So, I beg of you, Princess, let me be not just another guard, but a companion to you." He takes some fruit tarts and meat from a pocket. "Please, take this. You will need strength for what lies ahead."

Azula regards the food with a mixture of suspicion and hatred. This man feels sorry for her! For her, the most powerful Firebender in the world! The Princess of the Fire Nation! How dare he?!

"I don't need your pity and I don't need your help!" She yells as she knocks the food to the floor. "Go back to your precious daughter! Go pity her for her lack of royal blood! Pity her for the fact that she'll spend her days in a fallen Nation, subject to the laws and the whims of the others! Pity her for the fact that she'll probably never be permitted to learn any form of combat skill or discipline! Don't pity me! I have all that I need!"

He simply picks the food up off the floor and puts it back in his pocket. He returns to staring at the wall.
Azula launches a few dim fireballs at him. A single one sets his sleeve alight. He calmly puts it out with water from his canteen, gets up, and leaves, putting out the candle lamp in the ceiling as he does so.

"Oh, Azula. He wants to help you." Her mother chides. "How could you be so cruel to him? The sooner you cooperate, the sooner you can leave."

"I don't need you telling me who to trust. You're the one who left us! You're the one who chose Zuko over me! I hate you! I've always hated you! And I know you hate me too. You said yourself that something was wrong with me! You thought I was a monster. I don't need you. And I don't want you! Go away!" But her dim, small fire isn't even enough to bring light to the blackness around her. And her mother stays right where she is, although she says nothing more.
Laying down on the floor of her new cell, she vows vengeance on that guard. The minute that I see that door open...

She envisions making a break for it, finding something sharp, and stabbing anyone stupid enough to get in her way. She envisions locking her brother in here, seeing how he likes it. She imagines more scars on his body, more agonized screams. Her mouth twists into a cruel smile.

Just wait, brother. I'll make you pay dearly for what you've done to me. And I'll enjoy every minute of it.

The tiny flame in her grows a bit, and turns from dim red to a more normal orange.

-0o0-o0o-0o0-o0o-

She must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next time she opens her eyes, the candle is flickering to life in the lamp above her head. Chey opens the door as she stands up quickly. The door is shut before she has a chance to knock him aside and run.

"Good morning, Princess." He greets kindly. He sets a steaming bowl of soup and a cup of chamomile tea in front of her. "I hope you enjoy your breakfast. Did you rest well?"

Azula chooses not to respond. She knows she does need to eat, so she takes the bowl and tea. Chey sits across from her, facing the door. Not away from her, not towards her.

"You aren't going to try to get me to talk about my feelings?" She prods, sarcastically.

"No, that won't do any good, will it? I'm here if you want to talk, but I know that I can't make you. And I want you to be comfortable. I want you to trust me."

"Trust is for fools. And subordinates." She scoffs. "I make it a point not to trust anyone."

"Did someone betray you, Princess?" His voice carries true sympathy. Like he knows what betrayal feels like.

What a fool. It's absolutely disgusting that you think I need you so badly. I wonder who betrayed you?

"No one would dare! They all fear me too greatly." She wants to shoot a blue flame to emphasize her point, but she's done humiliating herself with bad firebending. She hasn't been able to bend more than a few dim flickers since her Agni Kai.

"Why is that a good thing? Don't you want anyone to love you?" He sounds like he's making genuine conversation. Almost like...

The beach! The campfire! My own mother thought I was a monster! She was right, of course, but it still hurt. Still hurts.

Unbidden, images of Mai and Ty Lee enter her mind.

"You miscalculated. I love Zuko, more than I fear you."

"No, you're wrong! You should have feared me more!"

"Princess? Your Highness, are you alright? I really didn't mean to cause any hurt. I'm sorry." Chey's voice pulls her out of her thoughts. An idea begins to blossom in her mind.

I have to be careful...I'm not a natural, but I think I can figure it out, based on what I saw others do at the beach, in the Earth Kingdom...

"I'm alright. I may have had some betrayals, but I'm not sure that I'm...comfortable sharing about them." She allows her voice to soften a little. "It sounds like you have personal experience. Who betrayed you?" She carefully reaches out and places her hand on his shoulder. She tries to mold her face into that pathetic look. The feeling of both her hand and her facial expression is foreign to her. Am I doing this right?

She must be doing something right. Chey relaxes visibly and begins recounting a tale of how he'd been abandoned by both his parents, back in Hira'a, how he'd managed to disguise himself as someone from one of the more prosperous regions and sign up for the military. He'd had to fake his age, and his credentials, and forge a false parental signature, but he'd made it. He found some friends in the early days, and even had a crush on one of the female guards. One of his friends ruined that for him though, as a prank that they thought would be harmless. Then he was shipped off to fight in the some of the lesser battles of the war. He did some work for his captain as a double agent, posing as a fisherman, a farmer, a thief, and once as a cabbage merchant. When he returned, he was assigned guard duty for the Tower. He met another girl and managed to successfully convince her to be his wife.

Azula relishes the tale far more than she thought she would. Chey is a master of disguise and navigating shifting alliances. He could be useful to her after all. She still hates him. She has to bite back a grin as she thinks of three different ways she could possibly betray him to the rest of the staff, just to see the look on his face when he realizes that he's been duped by fate yet again. But she knows she can't follow through on it. Not yet. And she's only missing one more thing on the list to making a temporary ally.

"Wow, it seems you really are a master in the art of deception. I'm impressed. You would have been useful in my coup at Ba Sing Se. In fact, you might have even bested me that one time." She says, forcing what she hopes looks like a genuinely impressed smile. Then, she lets her face slide into an expression of dismay, with a bit of fear. "But how can I trust you now?" She asks, in a sad voice. "It seems that all your life was a lie in one way or another. You lied about your age, forged signatures, stole from fellow soldiers' tents because someone dared you, fooled some of the better minds on the enemy side into thinking you were one of them...What if a doctor or someone outside the asylum asks you about me? Is there anything real about you at all?" She pulls away from him and hugs herself defensively. I might be overdoing this. It feels humiliating! It seems like it's working.

Chey looks like he's wondering the same thing himself.

"Did you say you had a daughter?" Azula prompts. Her assumption proves correct, as his face lights up like the sun.

"Yes! If there is anything real about me, it's her! Her name is Shinjitsu. She's the most darling little girl that you'll ever meet! The last time I saw her was when she was four. She lives in one of the colonies with her mother right now. I hear from them once every few months or so. I hope to see them soon, now that the war's ended. Just last month, she wrote to me herself for the first time! It was a bit difficult to read her handwriting, but she'll improve in a few years." He sighs happily. "Never underestimate the power of family, Princess. It can truly pull you from deepest depths of the dark. It can make you someone you never thought you could be."

I've got you now! You'll be my ticket out of here!

"You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot." She smiles. Her face is getting tired from all this overuse. "You aren't so bad after all, Chey."
She looks down and lets her face fall into a frown. "I'm sorry that I was so...combative, when we first met. I have felt the sting of betrayal. It's difficult to come back from."

"I understand, Princess. I won't betray you. If you want to talk about it, I can listen. But if you don't, I understand that too. Some things are just too painful." His voice conveys sympathy once more. He reaches out for her, seems to think better of it, and draws back.

"No, I...want to talk about it. I think it might help." She forces herself to relax. She'll tell the truth, but only as she sees fit. He sees the change in her posture and takes it as permission to place a hand on her shoulder.

Azula almost gives herself away by balking away from it. The contact feels so foreign and strange. She's itching to get away from it. But she forces herself to relax and appear sad and small. It feels utterly ridiculous.

"Two of my closest friends, Mai and Ty Lee, fought by my side in an attempt to bring down my uncle and brother. Father wanted to be able to bring down the Avatar, so that he would keep his rightful place as Fire Lord. My brother conspired with the enemy to break a Water Peasant chief out of Boiling Rock." She began.

"I heard about that! One of my friends was stationed there!" Chey interrupts. "They got away though, didn't they? I thought that place was supposed to be escape proof."

"It IS escape proof, you fool!" She erupts. Chey startles back a few feet at the sudden outburst. Azula remembers herself immediately. "I'm sorry, Chey. I'm still a bit... angry about the whole thing. Father trusted those guards and they let him down. All he wanted was to keep his throne! All he wanted was to keep the Fire Nation great! And my friends and I failed too. Mai betrayed me for my brother, and Ty Lee betrayed me for Mai. I don't know how I didn't see it coming. I knew Mai was in love with Zuko! I just didn't realize how untrustworthy it made her!" She wonders if she should act like she's about to cry, but decides that she won't be able to pull that off. She settles for refusing to meet his eyes, staring sadly at the wall off to her right.

"I'm so sorry, Princess." He breathes.

"It just feels like I'll never be able to trust anyone again. My best friends that I've played with and known since childhood... we even went to the same school! They betrayed me... for my traitorous brother! And my father paid the price. And I'm part of that failure too. If I had only known... But I let Father down. All I wanted was for Father to be proud of me!"

Somehow, the words bring a shortness of breath, but Azula quickly tamps it down.

There is no truth to that! That was Zuko's pathetic problem, not mine! Father still needs me!

"Azula, need is not the same as love." Her mother whispers. Azula grimaces a little, but remembers that Chey can't see or hear her and quickly corrects her expression. "We'll be discussing this later, young lady." Her mother warns.

"I completely understand that feeling. Although I didn't have parents for very long, I remember wanting them to approve of my achievements and brag on me a little." Chey says softly. He reaches a hand over to her again. "It's alright to feel that way."

A lump forms in Azula's throat. It's strange, because she doesn't feel anything that should make it do that. She pretends to cough on the rest of her tea to make it go away.

"I have to leave you now, but I'll be right outside the door if you need me. Just knock or yell." He says. Azula nods.
The moment he is gone, she realizes that she feels rather tired and heavy.

But it's morning! I've only just woken up! That food must have been poisoned! They knew I was going to try to use Chey! He's trying to kill me!

She fights the relaxing of her limbs, the fogginess in her mind. But it's a losing battle, as her body collapses on to the floor and darkness catches up to her.

Chapter Text

Lee knows Father isn't coming home when he hears his mother's distressed shout from the kitchen. He'd seen a traveler wandering in earlier, a man battered and starved nearly to the edge of death. A man looking that way almost never brings good news.

He rushes back inside, and finds his mother weeping at the kitchen table. He looks at the man suspiciously.

"I'm not here to hurt you or your mother. I bring news of your father."

"No." Lee says. He doesn't want to hear it. If he doesn't hear it, it will be a mistake and Dad will come home with Sensu.

"Listen, boy," The man reaches a kind hand out to him.

"NO!" Lee shouts. He turns and runs out of the house and back down the road. The man is too weak to follow him.

He runs until he can run no more. He climbs a tree, where usually nobody thinks to look.

He tries to stifle the sobs coming from him, but all in vain.

He isn't sure how long it is before his tears abate, but when they do, he thinks of what he must do next.

I shouldn't have run away like that. A soldier wouldn't run. Sensu wouldn't! He thinks to himself.

A bird squirrel looks at him quzzically from a few branches above.

"I know I should go back and comfort Mom." He tells the critter. "But I don't know how to help her. I do all that I can already. I bring water from the well, fix the roof like Dad showed me before..." He bites his lip and blinks. "And I clean the barns and feed the animals. But, now Dad's not coming back. Ever."

He starts to cry again, and talks through his tears. He isn't sure that what he says is intelligible anymore, but the bird squirrel seems to understand. It climbs over to him, curious and innocent. He pets it absentmindedly.

"I never really wanted to stay here. To get married to Su Lin. Or any girl. Sensu always said that after the war, he'd go to Gao Ling as a trader or merchant. And when he made enough money, selling whatever it was, he was going to bring us and we were going to live in a big house, and I'd go to school. But we haven't heard from Sensu in months! And Dad's gone. I know he is! And I don't know what to do! I do my chores and try to stay out of trouble. Honest! I even stay close to home. I haven't been back to the Scroll Cave since Daddy left. But there's a whole world out there! And I don't wanna leave Mom alone, but I don't wanna spend my whole life here either, nothing ever happens! And Dad's not here anymore! He can't show me the stars, or how to grow stuff, or how to plan the village Fall Festival. Dad's gone. Daddy's gone!" He rambles.

The bird squirrel moves closer to him, almost protectively. They stay like that for a while.

-0o0-0o0-o0o-o0o-

When Lee wakes up, he isn't sure at first where he is. He's in a rather uncomfortable position and wonders if he fell asleep in the rafters while fixing the roof again. He opens his eyes and sees a black canopy of leaves above him, and a network of branches below.

The events of the past few hours come rushing back to him.

Dad's gone. He thinks again. A lump comes into his throat, and he wants to cry, but it's like he has no tears left. His eyes remain stubbornly dry.

He knows his mother is probably worried sick about him right now, and that he should go back. But he isn't ready to deal with the full weight and reality of their situation just yet.

He leans back on some unevenly spaced branches and looks up at the stars through the narrow opening of the tree's leafy canopy.

The wind starts to blow gently, and the leaves whisper. The cool air and the sound wraps him in a sort of blanket, runs invisible comforting hands over his shoulders, and cools his face. His mind starts to wander.

-0o0-o0o-0o0-o0o-

"Daddy! You said you'd take me skywatching tonight!" Four year old Lee said, attacking his father from behind.

His father laughed as he caught Lee on his back, piggyback style, and spun around, crashing them into a haystack in the barn.

"Was that tonight?" His dad feigned confusion. "I thought that was next week."

"Daddy!" Lee protested. He got up and started tugging on his dad's hand, insistently.

"Alright! Alright! I surrender! Mercy!" Dad got up and took his son's hand.

"Where are you going?" Sensu asked, as he came up the path from the pastures for supper.

"To the stars." Lee said, chewing his fingers a bit.

"Don't you mean "to see the stars"?" Sensu asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah!"

"Does Mom know?" He asked, skeptically.

"We won't be long. Do you want to go with us?" Dad picked Lee up and held a hand out to Sensu.

"I'm too old for handholding, Dad!" He protested.

"Alright. Sure. Hurt your Dad's feelings! I see how it is!" Gansu pretended to be hurt. He threw his hand over his heart in a sort of wounded gesture.

"Ok! Ok! I'm sorry. Can I still come?" Sensu laughed, reaching out a hand.

So, they wandered across the vast fields towards a small mountain, coming to a little hidden trail, going past a cave that looked like it had been roughly cut into the side of the mountain's rocky wall. Lee had wanted badly to explore in there. So far, he'd had little luck in sneaking away this far from home. It was too far of a walk and he was always missed before he got even halfway.

At the top of the hill, the air was cold and sharp. It was almost autumn. They laid down on the grass and Dad started to point out pictures in the sky.

"They're called, 'constellations'. They tell stories about the world and teach us lessons about how to be good people." Dad told them.

"My teacher in Chin Village says that they're only fables. They didn't actually happen." Sensu retorted.

"That's why you're only there half the school year, Sensu. Your teachers teach by telling you what to think. Not how to think. I want my boys to grow up to do their own thinking, and not let people tell them what to do without having a very good reason." Dad answered.

Lee vaguely sees two dragons outlined by the stars. They are close to each other, but almost completely separate from the other pictures.

"Who are they?" Lee asked, pointing.

"They are ShuangLong. The Twin Dragons. Ran and Shaw, I believe. The old Fire Nation myths say the dragons were the first true Firebenders. Ran and Shaw were supposedly the last of their kind. The Fire Nation killed them all."

"Why would they kill their teachers?" Lee wondered aloud.

"Well, if they were anything like my teacher in Chin Village, then I could see why." Sensu spat.

"Enough, Sensu! Your teacher may not teach you the way that I want you to be taught, and you may not like him much either. But it's your responsibility to respect him and to honor his rules while you are at his school. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Dad. How about those stars there?" He pointed to two shapes that vaguely resembled fish.

"Tui and La, the first Waterbenders. They have taken a mortal form somewhere here in our world. They represent balance in the oceans, push and pull, night, and kindness."

"What are the stars, Dad?" Lee asked.

"Well, that depends on who you ask. Some people think it's all just a painting in the sky the Spirits put there for us to brighten our mood, tell us the time, and to help us find our way across land and sea. Others say that they are a sort of Spirit World for humans, and that each one is a dear friend or family member, watching over us to the end of time."

"I hope that it's Human Spirits." Sensu's voice got all soft and quiet. Lee looked over at his brother and was surprised to see tears in his eyes. "Granddad and Grandmom always loved the sky and the stars. They'd love to see the world from up there."

"That they would." Dad's voice held a certain tone of knowing. He reached over and pulled Sensu into a hug.

Lee kept watching the stars, sparing an occasional glance at his brother. Granddad and Grandmom had died three years before. Sensu knew them well, but Lee did not. He didn't know how to help his brother, so he let Dad do that part.

He wondered what it would be like to be a star. He wondered what it would be like to hover so high above the world, that a single glance would reveal the entire Earth Kingdom. He wasn't actually sure how big it was, just that it took several days to get Sensu to school when autumn began.

He didn't think he'd be able to see much detail from that far away. His family's farm would appear to be a speck in the world, or maybe he wouldn't see it at all. The thought made him feel very small and distant. Almost like he already was a star, lost in the vast space of the night sky.

He reached a hand over the grass and squeezed a large rock to make sure he was still safely on the ground. He was almost disappointed when he discovered that he was, but he wasn't entirely sure why he felt that way.

He found that he couldn't get back into the stars again when he tried.

"I think I'm going to go help Mom set up the table now." Sensu said, getting up and heading down the hill towards home. Lee couldn't see his eyes in the dark, but Sensu wiped at them as he walked away.

"Dad, do you really think that Granddad and Grandmom are up there?" Lee asked.

"I don't know for sure, Lee. But they are always in our hearts. And as long as they are in our hearts, I'm sure they can never go away." Dad pulled him close.

"Do you think they can hear us from so far away?"

"Perhaps. They may not know time and distance the way that we do."

"You mean time and distance can change?"

"The Spirit World is a strange place, Lee. I wouldn't be surprised by anything that we found there."

"But Dad, how can we know what the Spirit World looks like? People can't go there."

"The Avatar can. And there are some people who can meditate their way in, although it's very rare. It's said that the Air Nomads had monks among them who could journey into and out of the Spirit World during the Winter Solstice. But that might only be a myth."

"Nobody has seen Air Nomads or Airbenders for a long time. Right?"

"That's right."

"How do we know they were real?"

"Well, because they were the first ones attacked by the Fire Nation when the War started. They aren't here anymore because of that."

"Did you know any?"

"Well, they were around a long time ago, Lee. Nobody really remembers ever meeting one. Some people think that a few Air Nomads may have escaped and hidden among us. I can certainly believe in the descendants of Air Nomads. I've known a few people that I've suspected to have been related to them. But I have never met an actual Airbender."

"I wonder what they were like."

"Well, they could fly with little gliders." Dad stood up and threw his arms wide. "And big animals called Sky Bison. They had huge Temples on mountains hidden in the clouds." He raised his arms as though pulling towers from the earth. "Like castles. They were said to be very hard to get into. I'm not sure how Fire Nation soldiers managed to do it. Some say that the Temples are still there. Others say they were destroyed a hundred years ago."

"How long is a hundred years?"

"Very long. I'm only seventy years old myself. And Sensu is about ten years old now. So, a hundred years is me plus three of Sensu."

That made sense to Lee.

"Your mom is probably getting worried about us by now. We should get back. What do you think?"

They wandered back down the hill, Lee staring up at the stars and thinking of flight, and big flying animals and giant castles in the clouds.

-0o0-o0o-0o0-o0o-

Lee sighs and wonders if Dad can see him now. Could hear him crying in the tree earlier in the day. He knows Dad would want him to help Mom and to be happy for him going to join the stars.

Until the end of time.

As he drops out of the tree and starts walking home, he wonders what the end of time could look like. Was it a place? Could it be found? Or was it just that one day would be the last day of the world and the stars and everything and that would be it?

He'd met a boy in Kyoshi once, when he was eight years old, that claimed to be able to see time as a bunch of lines. Asked to predict the future, he'd tell a story of a lady from the Fire Nation, banished by her husband, hiding in the Earth Kingdom, then visiting the Water Tribes, then hiding in Ba Sing Se, and finally, taking refuge in...

An Air Temple!

Lee stops walking, remembering the boy saying that he couldn't see a future that didn't exist, in places that didn't exist. That meant there had to be at least one Air Temple left!

Lee had wanted to ask the boy about his own future, but the next time they ventured to Kyoshi to sell meat, the boy was gone. The villagers said that he and his family had disappeared one day without warning. Nobody had known where they had gone or why.

He arrives home and opens the door. The lights are out and his mom is nowhere to be found. Fearing a raider attack, he rushes over and pounds on the door of the nearest neighbor.

"Lee! You worried your poor mother out of her mind! Where have you been? We've looked all over for you!" The elderly lady hisses. She beckons him inside and looks him over for injury.

"Sela! Lee's here. He's alright! None the worse for wear! Though hungry, I hope. He ought to be sent to bed without dinner." She goes over to the stove and turns some meat over the fire.

"No. It's alright. He's been out this late before." Mom comes over and hugs him.

"I'm sorry I ran away, Mom." He says, around the lump in his throat.

"It's alright. I know why you did. Just don't stay out so late, Lee. You know I get worried. I'm sorry for scaring you." She rubs her hand through his hair.

"I just didn't know what to do. I felt like if I didn't hear it, it wouldn't be true." His voice is muffled by her shirt.

"Oh Lee. I'm afraid it's very true. Daddy isn't coming home and we don't know where Sensu is. It's very sad, and I don't know what we're going to do without them. But we're going to find a way. We always have before."

"Can we move somewhere else? It doesn't feel like home here anymore." He moves away from her to sit on a little foot stool by the warmth of the stove.

"We'll see what happens. For now, let's eat and go to bed. Everything will seem brighter in the morning." Mom gives him a final rub on his back and seats herself at the table.

The neighbor lady hands them some vegetable soup and some of the meat.

Lee looks at the stars again outside the window over the stove, wishing he was anywhere but here.

Chapter Text

Zuko walks down the ramp of the ship, carefully weaving his way around the merchants.

I wonder if the Unagi is still around. He glances around the harbor area. Maybe the war destroyed it? He thinks hopefully. Without Suki here, things might get interesting.

He knows that the Kyoshi Warriors won't kill him. Kyoshi Island had remained largely neutral in the war, even after what happened between him and the Avatar. They know who he is and what he did to them. They also know he rules the Fire Nation now.

But the thought of the Unagi and his past crimes still makes him wonder if just walking into town is such a good idea.

As he walks through the pier area, he sees red and green clothing, Fire and Earth, working together officially for the first time in a hundred years. Several stands are already set up, and canopies are being pitched to create shade for more booths.

Several Kyoshi Islander children run through the crowd, each holding a few coins begged from parents and neighbors. Zuko can't help but smile at their energetic abandon.

Steeling himself, he walks up the path to the village itself. He is immediately recognized. Some of the Kyoshi Warriors and the leader of the town come to apprehend him.

"The Fire Lord himself! To what do we owe the honor of this visit to our humble town?" One of the girls asks, her tone the picture of disdain.

Zuko steps forward and bows to them in respect.

"I sincerely apologize for burning your village. I was confused and on the wrong path. But I've changed. I taught the Avatar Firebending, fought my sister in an Agni Kai for the throne, while the Avatar fought to overthrow my father. I have done my best to restore peace between our peoples. I hope you will extend to me your forgiveness and mercy. I am unarmed. I am at your command."

"Well," The girl assumes an exaggerated thoughtful position. "I suppose, you being the Fire Lord and all, that we can extend mercy in the interest of continued peace."

"But," Oyaji, the village leader, steps forward. "You must still pay us back for damages. And you will do it our way, in our time, on our terms. There will be no buying your way out of debt, as it is not money that we seek."

"I understand. How may I be of service?"

"Come with me to the village hall, and we'll speak of your atonement. But first, I believe one of these ladies is a friend of yours?"

"Zuko!" A chipper voice rings out before the acrobat throws herself upon him. "How are you? How are things back home? How's Mai?" The words seem to tumble out of her mouth.

"I'm fine. A bit tired. Uncle's watching things at the Palace, and the meetings have all been going fine so far. Mai and I...sort of broke up." He reaches a hand to rub the back of his head.

"You what?!" She shrieks. "But that's impossible! You two are perfect for each other!"

"Yeah, I know. I think she just needs some time. I made a mistake. A pretty big one."

"Did she catch you kissing the Water Tribe girl?" Ty Lee flutters her eyes a little.

"WHAT?! NO!" Zuko shouts, annoyed. He takes a deep breathe. "I don't really want to talk about it, Ty Lee."

"Oh, ok. Sorry Zuko. I'm sure she'll come back." Ty Lee's voice is full of remorse.

"It was good seeing you again." Zuko offers, a way of moving the conversation back to a comfortable topic.

"Yeah, good seeing you too. Hope you enjoy Kyoshi Island. It's a really nice place. The people here are so friendly." She gushes.

Oyaji clears his throat, and the two teenagers startle a bit, having forgotten that he was still there.

"Ladies, thank you. You are dismissed."

The Kyoshi Warriors continue on their patrol. Zuko gets up and follows the man.

"Fire Lord Zuko, it's only been near a year since you last visited us. And now, you are the leader of the Fire Nation. The youngest one in recent history. Why have you come back to see us?" Oyaji's tone is calm, almost conversational.

"I'm looking for someone. She was banished from the Fire Nation when I was a child."

"Tea?" Oyaji pours a cup for himself and reaches for another.

"Yes, please." Zuko smiles a little. Tea and chats with older men seem to crop up a lot in his life. And he knows by now that he will never walk away from one of them without some new piece of information.

"And who might you be looking for specifically? If you don't mind my asking."

"Her name is Ursa. She's my mother."

Oyaji looks up from his tea sharply.

"The Fire Lord banished his own wife?" He asks, shocked.

"Gave me this when I was thirteen." Zuko gestures to his scar. "And my sister's in an insane asylum."

"What is it with the Fire Nation and crazy leaders and family coups?" He grumbles. "Sounds like an Earth Kingdom folk tale."

"Folk tale?!" It's no story!! It's my LIFE! He just manages to bite back the words.

"A recent one, written maybe, oh, twenty, thirty years ago, perhaps. Some kid told it as a campfire story, some other kid wrote it down. It became popular, and now it's an official folk tale." He shrugs. "I don't know how these things happen. Just that they do. The world is a much stranger place than any of us realize sometimes."

"Do you think it could be true?" Zuko leans forward eagerly. He's grateful now that he'd held his tongue.

"Can't be. You don't look a day older than fifteen."

"I'm seventeen."

"Not the point. You say your mother was banished when you were thirteen. The dates are all wrong. It was written twenty something years before this happened. It can't be. It's just a story. I've never known anyone who could see the future. Much less a child."

"Still...do you have a copy of it?"

"Afraid not. At least, not on Kyoshi Island. I'm sure there must be some place in the Earth Kingdom that still has one. It's recent as far as folk tales go, but it's more or less old news at this point. Popular when it comes out, but not for very long after. Now," He gets up and brings a bowl of fruit to the table.

"We have more important things to discuss. The damage to our village wasn't as bad as it could have been, thanks to the Avatar's quick thinking. But it did take up a lot of time and material to fix. Cumulatively, among the adult villagers, I'd say we did at least a month's worth of work. The cost of the materials would have been almost equivalent to a season of fishing. You'll work for us for two months. You will sleep in a hut on the far side of town, you will report for work at sunrise each morning, you will report your whereabouts anytime you leave the worksite and the reason. You will complete whatever task you've been assigned without delay or complaint. Is this understood?"

"Yes. When shall I start?"

"Immediately. I know you must be in a hurry to find your mother. But seeing as we are a decent sized trading hub in the region, we have several traveling merchants that visit towns all over the Earth Kingdom. Should you restore your reputation with us, I'm sure they would be more than happy to spread word of your good work and your quest. There may be others who can help you on the mainland."

"Then please, show me where I'm to stay. I will also need a place for my rhino and supplies."

"We'll make adequate accommodations. Shall we?"

I know I'm making the right choice. I need to make up for what I did here. Mother would understand. She'd be proud of me. Right? Mother, please still be out there in two months.....

o0o-o0o-o0o-

Zuko sighs and wipes the sweat from his brow. He's spent much of the day out with the men of the village, gathering firewood. It isn't exactly difficult work, but the hours are long, and the late summer sun isn't making things easier.

"Here, have some more water." A woman says. She hands him a waterskin.

"Thank you. What's your name?" He continues to load wood into a cart that will be wheeled back to the village.

"Jia. You seem to be working harder than the rest. Why don't you rest a minute? The afternoon meal will be served soon anyway."

"Let me ask my supervisor."

The supervisor grants him permission. He walks with Jia over to where the scent of food permeates the air. The women had come out hours ago to begin preparing enough.

"So, Zuko, why do you work so hard?" She asks when he's seated.

"I owe this town a debt. I'm not sure if you recognize me or not, but I'm sort of the reason it almost burned down a few months ago."

"I know who you are. And what you did. And I don't care. It's behind us now and you're working to pay for your mistakes."

She sits beside him. "But you seem... agitated. Eager to get moving again."

"I'm looking for my mother. She went missing several years ago. I don't really know where to begin looking, but my Uncle and I were refugees in the Earth Kingdom. If a Prince and a General can go unnoticed, what's to say a banished Fire Lady couldn't?"

"This was about four years ago?" She asks curiously.

"Yes. Why?"

"A Fire Nation citizen headed this way. She was dressed as a peasant from a poor district. She said something about being a performer, and war dissident. She said she was wondering if I knew anywhere that she might find work. I told her Omashu or Ba Sing Se would be her better bets. But she insisted that she wasn't too picky on what kind of work she did. I got the feeling that she wanted to avoid the larger cities. I told her of several small villages that had taverns that would sometimes put on shows with the local talent. I told her to work her way towards Ba Sing Se, that they were accepting refugees and they didn't really care who they were as long as they didn't cause trouble."

She gets up to stir some soup over a fire. "It took quite some convincing. But she gave in eventually and asked for a map and some Earth Kingdom clothes. She considered staying here, but at the time, there were so many Fire Navy ships passing by that we thought they might invade. I told her it was safer on the Mainland, where she could blend in and there was more distance between her and them."

"Did she tell you her name?" It's got to be her!

"I think she may have said it was "Hiran", but I'm not entirely sure. It was so long ago." She reaches for several bowls and begins filling them. Her son wanders over from where he was building some sort of fort out of twigs and sticks and starts to help by taking the bowls and moving them to a nearby table as they are filled.

It has to be her. She would have had to use a false name. It has to be her! Zuko refuses to believe it was anyone else.

"Do you know where her first stop was?" He asks, eagerly.

"No. But I would think she'd have taken one of the moutain passes just north of Chin Village. Nobody really travels that way anymore, since there are far more direct roads heading to the larger towns north and further east. It would be perfect for someone not wishing to be found. I think there might be a village up there somewhere. She may have stopped there."

Zuko's stomach sinks a little. He thinks of the little boy in that village and how fiercely he'd rejected Zuko after he'd used firebending to stop a local gang from taking over the town.

How will I convince them to trust me again? Do they even know the war is over? What if they won't tell me anything of Mother? What if she did go through there and they found out that she was Fire Nation somehow? He wonders.

The other men come over for lunch, and some children from town come running through the woods to greet their fathers and brothers. The atmosphere is that of a giant family picnic. Zuko imagines what it could have been like if he and Mother had been born into this, instead of what they had been.

I'm coming for you, Mother. I'll find you, even if it takes me a hundred years to do it.

Chapter Text

She feels groggy, like she didn't get enough sleep. But she opens her eyes and looks around. Her cell looks the same as before, with it's padding and small candle lamp hanging in the ceiling.

Chey snores against a wall.

"What is the meaning of this!" Azula relishes his startled yelp. He leaps to his feet and is halfway across the room in a fighting stance before realizing she is no threat.

"Princess. I'm very sorry about this. I'm not in charge of the food or the medicine, only bringing it to you." He explains.

"What medicine? What was in that food?" She tries to cross her arms, and realizes she can't move them. She looks down and sees that she is contained in a straightjacket. She looks back up at Chey with murder in her eyes. "How. Dare. You!" She screeches.

"Princess! Please believe me! I had nothing to do with either! I promise! The doctor wishes to see you today, and he requires straightjackets on all patients when they leave their quarters. It's standard policy. As for the food, they medicate it with something to calm you down. They must have gotten the dosage wrong. I'm certain that it won't happen again." He is insistent, somewhat alarmed. Or surprised? But not fearful.

His lack of fear is making Azula even more angry, but she can't afford to play her fear cards yet. She needs to play the victim.

She allows her shoulders to droop and her uneven hair to fall across her face.

"I'm sorry for getting angry, Chey. I should have found out more before going on like that. I feel so... ashamed." The words taste bitter in her mouth and she almost gives herself away with a sneer.

"No worries, Princess. No hard feelings." He helps her up. "Off the to the doctor then, shall we? And we'll let him know about your little medicine issue."

They pass through a courtyard on the way, with flowers and a fountain and several statues of past Fire Lords and Avatars. There are people out here, still in straightjackets, but ones that allow more free movement of the legs, so that they can run with ease. A few of them are playing a game where they kick a ball around, trying to get it into goalposts. Azula had never seen this type of ball game before. It went without saying that they couldn't use their hands.

"You'll love the doctor, Princess. He's managed to help so many already. He's quite good at what he does. I wouldn't necessarily call him kind. You can't be, I suppose, when caring for people who will gladly kill you in an instant. But he's good." Chey says as they walk back into a narrow passage.

Azula spots some children, ones with bruises all over their faces, some so skinny they were skin and bones. Some sit in their straightjackets, staring blankly into space, some look at any who pass them by with murder in their eyes.

"Sad thing, this. These children mostly came from abusive homes. Some were abandoned in the streets when they fell ill and costed too much to keep. They don't know trust at all. Or love, or family. Everyone is a threat to them. And everything. The good news is that the doctor seems to have a very high success rate with the children. He says that he's found children nine and under are the easiest to rehabilitate. He still doesn't know exactly why."

"It seems there is much your doctor doesn't know." Azula's tone has bite to it.

"Yes, but he's learning everyday. And so are his staff. Their goal is eventually to be able to heal all mental scars in a matter of a few years." Chey's tone seems overly cheerful, given their surroundings.

"That's like saying all war and conflict will be over now that we have the Avatar again." She scoffs.

"Not quite. That's on a global scale. The medicine of the mind helps the masses by focusing on the individual. Conflict, as you call it, exists whenever there is a difference of opinion, which deals in multiple perspectives, whether between people or in one's own mind."

Azula says nothing, but finds herself impressed with Chey's debating ability. The more she thinks about it, it makes more sense to appeal to his intellect instead of simply viewing him as a purely emotional and stupid pawn. He already knows her game of strategy. It might make sense to keep him around as an extension of her hand rather than simply a means to get out of this place. With proper caution, of course. She only needed to learn that lesson once.

"Here we are!" Chey opens a door. "Enjoy your visit, Princess."

The door shuts behind him and Azula takes in the sight before her of a middle aged man with graying hair at a desk.

"I'm your doctor, Azula." He says, helping her to sit down.

"I am royalty. You'll address me as such." She states firmly.

"Not here. Here, you are just Azula, or a nickname, if you like. You can call me Doc."

"I'll do no such thing!"

"I'm sure you have questions about this place." He acts as though her outburst hasn't happened.

"None that I'll get straight answers for." She sneers.

"Anything you want to ask me, at any time, I'll answer honestly. You can trust me, Azula. And when you're doing better, we have a reward system that will make it worth your while to engage fully in our conversations."

"Is that a threat?" If her tone were any harsher, literal poison might fly from her mouth.

"Not at all!" Doc laughs. "The goal of this facility is to remove threats, both without and within. We've padded your walls to prevent self injury, we give you some herbs to calm you so that things like rage and anxiety are less pressuring, we fit all patients with straightjackets for our protection and to protect them from other patients. Everything is safe here. You'll find no threats."

"Nonsense! Tell me how being drugged day in and day out helps me!" She shouts.

"It really shouldn't affect your thoughts much, just make them a little calmer. If you're feeling too drowsy, we can reduce your dosage a bit."

He leans back in his chair. "Think of this as a sort of vacation. It really can be, once the initial phase of therapy is over. We allow patients to go out into that courtyard you passed through on the way in. We celebrate birthdays and holidays. Occasionally, for a few that are about to be released, we take them out on the town for a night, without the straightjackets, so they can readjust to society." He leans forward. "This doesn't have to be all bad, Azula. We can help you. I can't say that it will be fun at first. It never is. But with time, it will all work out fine, and you'll leave this place happy and at peace."

She spits in his face and glares.

"Alright. I can see that you're agitated." He calmly wipes his face with a cloth soaked in soapy water.

This is clearly not the first time someone's thought to do that. I'll have to try harder.

"So, I'll leave you with one question for you to think about today, and you can give me your answer tomorrow. How do you feel when you think of your brother?" He calls for Chey.

"How did it go, Princess?" He asks on the way back to the cell.

"Fine. I expect him to change his mind about me soon enough." She keeps her voice flat and emotionless. She doesn't know why she feels so panicky with the thought of being anywhere near that doctor. She already hated him for thinking that he could change her. Maybe the medicine is still affecting her, making her weak.

Chey wisely chooses to remain silent. He removes her straightjacket when they arrive at her cell. He brings her lunch. She leaves it on the floor.

I don't need to calm down. I have planning to do, and I won't allow you to keep me unconscious forever. She thinks.

Mother begins to bother her again as soon as she sits down.

"Azula, it's time for a talk." She says. Azula grits her teeth and tries to hit her. She simply disappears and reappears across the room.

Even though she knows it's futile, Azula keeps trying to hit her. Each time, Mother disappears and relocates to another place in the room.

"Azula, it's time for a talk." She intones again.

"What will it take for you to leave me alone!" Azula shouts, panting and sweating from her efforts.

"It's time for a talk." She says again.

"I don't want to talk! I have plans to make! I have someone outside that door that I must speak with, and I won't do it with you whispering your gibberish in my ear!" She has no intention of talking to Chey, but Mother doesn't need to know that.

"It's time for a talk."

"What. Do. You. Want?!" Azula's voice screeches.

"It's time for a talk."

"Princess? Are you alright? Do you want me to find an herbalist?" Chey pokes his head in the door.

"It's time for a talk. And he won't believe you anyway. Do you want to feel all foggy and tired again, dear?" Mother asks, in an almost patronizing tone. Azula rolls her eyes at her.

"No, Chey, I'm fine. Just... taking out a little pent up anger. I'd rather you just pretend you don't hear it. It's...embarrassing." Azula glares at the floor and crosses her arms in a sort of defensive, closed off stance.

"Alright, call me if you want to talk, Princess. And don't worry. I can't hear you unless you shout." The door clicks shut and the lock bolts into place.

"It's time for a talk." Mother says again. Azula whirls to face her.

"If I listen, will you leave me be?!" She hisses.

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. That's for you to decide, dear." Mother's hand moves to brush hair away from Azula's face, although her hair doesn't move. Azula notices that the hand appears solid, and while her hair doesn't move, she didn't actually see her mother's hand pass through it like a ghost's.

"Very well." She sits and pouts. "I'm listening."

"Need is not the same as love, and trust is not for fools only. Trust is a choice that you are in control of, and you are only foolish if you trust before you verify. Someone may need you for your abilities, but that is not like their choosing you when someone else might be better for a particular role, because they care about you and your values."

"What if I don't have values?" Azula sneers. "They're a weakness!"

"You value your skill as a firebender. You value your ability to lead. You are not the most moral leader, and your firebending will only ever be as good as your level of mental and emotional stability. These are not small things. And you are young yet. You've plenty of time to choose your own values. How do you feel about your brother?" Mother sits beside her, her arm around Azula's shoulders. Azula finds herself wishing to feel it's weight and warmth. She angrily shoves Mother away. Mother, of course, doesn't move. And Azula still feels empty air where warmth should be.

"I have a hundred ways that I'd love to kill him." She states, matter of factly.

"Is that really what you think of him?" Mother pushes.

"He's inferior, yet he takes the throne. He's useless, yet General Iroh chose him over me, over our country, over Father! Zuko always gets what he wants, and acts like he never asked for it! He owns up to none of his treachery in dealing with those around him! At least I'm proud of my accomplishments! When Zuko got something he'd wanted, he'd go crying after something, or someone, else. He's pathetic. You want to know what I think of him? That's it!" She stands again. "Now, will you please go away!"

"I don't see any lie in what you've said, Daughter. You do feel that way. I'm sorry. I want to help you. Please, consider having an open mind. The world is still a beautiful place." Mother disappears.

Azula sits again, her mind spinning.

What just happened? Did Mother just agree with my wanting to kill her beloved Zuko?! Who does she think she is, telling me how to feel?! I don't recall asking her about it! What does she mean, "The world is still a beautiful place"? It never was! It never will be! There is only an illusion of beauty! What does Mother want with me that she must toy with me like this?!!

Azula gets up and bangs on the door determinedly. She doesn't really know what to say to Chey, and she doesn't feel much like talking anyway. But Chey usually does a lot of talking. Azula finds listening to him more interesting than listening to Mother.

Chapter Text

"Will that be everything, Fire Lord Zuko?" Oyaji asks, as they finish helping to load his supplies.

"Yes, thank you. And I want to apologize again for what happened last year." He bows from the waist.

"Let's not speak of it again. You are forgiven, and you have atoned for it. Let it trouble your mind no more. To us, it is now as though it's never happened." Oyaji places a hand on his shoulder. Zuko straightens and nods.

"Can't you stay?" One of the kids asks. The children had continually displayed a interest in Zuko that never really seemed to fade. He didn't understand it, neither did the adults.

"No, I can't. I have someone important that I have to find." He reaches down and ruffles the little girl's hair.

He turns and mounts the rhino standing beside him. The girl runs back to her mother.

The small group that accompanied him to the mainland begins trudging back to the ferryboat as he rides off.

Alone with his thoughts and the burning sun, Zuko vividly remembers the last time that he'd found himself in this position.

The places that he passes are war weary, some villages are burned to the ground. He passes their charred remnants, wondering what had happened to their survivors, if there had been any.

One tiny village that he passes through is still smoldering. He looks around for Fire Nation soldiers. He isn't sure what his plan should be if he finds them.

I can't attack them. That would look bad. But they have to know by now that war's over and that they've been ordered home. Should I keep my cover, keep the locals' trust, or do I tell them who I am and what will happen if they don't obey? What could I even do to them anyway? Throw them all in jail? That would only work until their sentences are up. Speaking of cover... Zuko facepalms. He still doesn't have one. Uncle Iroh would be rolling his eyes right about now.

Lee probably won't work again. Not without Mushi. And what business would he have in Ba Sing Se now that the war's over and his Uncle is visiting friends while a "distant relative" runs his shop? I could maybe use Lee in the smaller towns though, especially the ones that I've been through before.

He winces a little as he remembers that there is one little village on his path to Ba Sing Se that he must go through that he doesn't really want to. The little boy's angry face is still clearer than glass in his memory.

What will they even think of me now? They might not know the war's over! That road isn't used much, and it's so small that any remaining Fire soldiers probably don't even realize that it's there. They won't think to go tell these people!

The merciless sun beats down from above. Zuko takes a sip of warm water from his waterskin. It could be worse. He could be going through the desert.

His rhino makes an odd growling, groaning sort of sound.

"Yeah, we have been out here for quite a while, haven't we?" He reaches forward and pats her shoulder kindly. "Let's see if we can't find a river for you to swim in. I could use a swim myself."

They continue on. After another hour or so, Zuko's had enough of his thoughts on what his cover should be. He decides that his mind will be clearer when things cool down. So, to distract himself, he starts talking to the rhino again.

"I wonder if that merchant had a name for you. I should have asked him." He remarks. A crow squawks somewhere in a passing cornfield. The rhino grunts and keeps walking.

"How about...Jidana?" He asks. He gets another unenthusiastic grunt from the rhino.

"Okay...Huoshan?" No response from the rhino.

"Yeah, that's more of a guy rhino's name anyway. And the merchant said you were a girl rhino." The rhino continues walking, seeming to disregard the fact that he's talking at all.

This is what happens on long journeys with nobody to talk to. Zuko muses. I doubt this rhino is as smart as a sky bison.

"I know! How about 'Rina'? Whoa!" The rhino suddenly lunges forward, despite Zuko's attempts to slow her down. The wind steals his breath away. Was it even possible for rhinos to move this fast?!

A big splash! sound followed by a shock of cold water on his legs and spray on his back as the running rhino stops so suddenly that he's almost thrown off. He takes a moment to relish the feeling of the water around his legs, taking away the strain and heat of the day. Then, he looks at his soaking wet supplies lashed to the saddle.

"Rina," He sighs, "Couldn't you have waited until I stowed the gear on dry land?"

Rina lets out a jubiliant roar and splashes around some more, then takes a long drink of water.

Zuko tries so hard to be angry. He really does. If looks could kill, well...

But he just can't keep it up. He lets out a loud laugh, knowing that nobody could hear. He's grateful for the water too.

"I guess this is where we'll be staying for the night." He slips off of Rina's back, deeper into the water. The chill soaks through his clothes and reaches halfway up his stomach. The shock of it makes him gasp a little, but it feels nice after a moment.

"Just don't roll until I've got the gear off, okay?"

Chapter Text

Father had said something about a trip on a ship to see one of the battles in the Earth Kingdom. He'd said that he'd take Zuko with him. Azula had asked if she could go.

"Not this time. Your brother will lead this Nation one day. He must start learning now. How to run an army, how to give a proper speech, how to command by his divine right and to mean what he says. How to deal with captured spies." Father placed his hand on his daughter's shoulder in a placating sort of way, although his face remained a blank slate.

"What if I could lead? What if I want to learn too? Why can't you take both of us?!" Four year old Azula crossed her arms.

"Because it would look as though I didn't know which of my children would inherit the throne after me. And any sign of uncertainty could spark an uprising. People take advantage of disorder. They take advantage of confusion. They take advantage of fear. If they see my decisiveness waver, they may decide to take the throne for themselves," He bent down close to her. "and kill me. And your mother, and your brother. And you, Azula. They would kill you too. We don't want that, do we?" Azula gasped and shook her head. Why would anyone want to kill her and her family?

Father turned and looked over his shoulder at Zuko struggling to carry his pack, which held his uniform and a spare one of his father's .

"Would you please be careful, boy! That uniform was your great grandfather Sozin's! I won't have it tarnished or damaged in any way by your carelessness." He snarled.

"Yes, Father. I'm trying my best!" Zuko panted.

"Well, try harder! We don't have all day! Honestly, your mother's made you soft!"

Zuko tried to go faster, but didn't watch where his feet were going. He tripped over a stone and fell. The uniforms stayed in the pack, but the sharp edge of one of the pieces of armor inside cut through Zuko's sleeve and his arm started to bleed.

Father rolled his eyes at his son's whimpers. Azula started to go over to help him, but Father reached out and snatched her back.

"Let's see what he can actually do on his own." Father sneered at Zuko.

Zuko did his best to get up and bring the pack over his shoulder again. He succeeded, but it was clear that his wound went deep. His left arm was much weaker than it should have been.

"Maybe I did choose the wrong heir." Father muttered, rolling his eyes.

Zuko overheard this and his tears fell faster, although he'd learned how to cry quietly months ago. Azula could tell he was ashamed of himself. She felt ashamed of him too, but she didn't really know why. He just looked...

"Pathetic." Father supplied. "Zuko, can't you do any better to control yourself? It's no wonder you can't firebend. No drive, no ambition. No self control. You're a disgrace to this family. Get those uniforms on the ship, then go to your cabin. I am to see no more of you until we reach Chameleon Bay."

There was that mention of firebending again. Azula knew it was important for the Fire Lord to be a Firebender. Grandfather Azulon was. Father was. Zuko should have figured it out by now, if past precedent was to be believed. At the very latest, he should figure it out in another year or two... Azula smirked. She had an idea.

"Father?" She asked.

"Not now, Azula." His exasperated tone does nothing to faze her.

"If I can learn to firebend before Zuko, can I go with you on your next trip?" She asked.

"Of course not!" He exploded. But then, he paused. "Do you think you can?"

"Yes!"

"If you can show me that you have more talent than your brother, then I'll take you with me when I go to visit your Uncle Iroh next year before the Siege of Ba Sing Se." He replied. "But it's very unusual for anyone to bend fire at your age, Azula. You'd have to be one of the best Firebenders in the world to do that."

"Then I'll be the best Firebender in the world!" She shouts.

"We'll see." Her father says, exasperated. But he smiled a little. Father never smiled. Azula felt very proud of herself.

o0o-0o0-o0o-

"Princess. It's time to wake up now." Chey's voice pulls her out of the strange memory dream.
Azula's eyes are heavy. The doctor has reduced her medicine, but it still leaves her feeling drowsy most of the time.

"What time is it?" She asks.

"You know that I'm not allowed to tell you." He hands her some black tea and some smuggled pastry.

"I don't understand the rules in this ridiculous place." She growls.

"Nor do I, but we must make the best of it! We'll be out of here soon enough."
Azula hates how Chey is always so chipper. Someone really needs to rain on his parade one of these days. She imagines the look on his face if his daughter were to die. That gives her some degree of comfort.

"So, what's on the agenda today?" She asks.

"Another visit with Doc. He'll want to see how you're settling in, I suppose. Then, a family member of yours wants to see you. I guess those two things will take up most of the day. Then, I believe you're going to be getting a bath and massage this evening."

"Which family member?"

"I'm not to say."

Azula begins thinking of all the things she'll say to her brother. Starting with the demand that he get her out of this horrible place! And maybe ending with a false story on how she was the one to kill Mother, just to shake him up.

"Why are you smiling like that, Princess?" Chey sounds a bit concerned. Azula quickly brings her expression back to "normal".

"Sorry, Chey. Just...excited. I didn't think anyone still cared." She says, shrugging.

"Of course they do! Well, your brother and Uncle, anyway." Chey insists.

"Those two don't care anything about me! They just want me to suffer!" She shrieks. She stands up, knocking the last of her tea over. She throws the remainder of her pastry across the cell.

"Princess! Please! If anyone finds out I've upset you, I could get in terrible trouble!" Chey rushes to grab her shoulders in effort of comfort.

Azula wants to tell the man that she would love to see what sort of trouble he'd get into. She envisions him tied up and his daughter being beaten inches away. But, she has to keep up her act.

"I'm sorry, Chey. It's just..." She sits down and makes her voice shaky. She just can't summon fake tears. This will have to do.

"Just what, Princess? Please, you can trust me. If it's something you don't want anyone to know, I'm actually obligated by the terms of the agreement that I signed to keep it between us. I wouldn't say anything anyway. I want to help you." He kneels in front of her and keeps his hands on her shoulders.

"They don't actually care, Iroh and Zuko. Zuko just wants to flaunt his victory over me. He cheated anyway. He had the help of the Water Peasant during an Agni Kai that was supposed to be strictly between us! And the old man has always loved Zuko more. He agreed with Mother. He thought I was a crazy monster!" She avoids his eyes and throws as much effort as possible into an "about to cry" face.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know." Chey's voice sounds so guilty. Azula has to bite back a smile to avoid giving herself away.

"And what about my father? I know he's alive! Why isn't he getting help? At the very least, I want to speak with him! He's the only one who ever cared about me."

"Until he didn't, Azula." Mother's voice interjects. She appears behind Chey. Azula refuses to look at her. "Remember when he was going to leave you in the Capital while he went and made himself the king of the world? He used you, Daughter. You know this. Please, don't lie to yourself anymore."

I'll deal with you later, Mother.

"Princess, I... I don't know what to say. Maybe I can find someone to help. I know a few of those guards in the Tower. I can pass messages to them for your Father. I've been hearing of a few groups who aren't exactly pleased with your brother's reign and may be sympathetic to the idea of your father getting the help he needs. Perhaps, in a few years, if all goes well, your brother can hand the throne back to your father and you can all forgive and forget."

"Some things can never be forgotten." She spits venomously.

"No, I suppose not everything." He quickly amends.

"So, you think you can arrange a conversation with Father?" She forces herself to sound hopeful.

"I can't make any promises, but I'll do my best." He salutes. "Now, I believe that your visitor is here. Shall we go to see him?"

He lets her into a small room with a chair and a window looking into another small room that looks eerily like a mirror version of the one she's in. The window is closed in by bars spaced close enough that her hand can't squeeze through, but she can still see a figure standing on the other side. There is no glass.

"Hello, Azula. It has been a while." Iroh says, as she sits down.

"Iroh?!" Everything that Azula had been planning to say flies out of her head. "What are you doing here?! Where's Zuko?"

"Looking for your mother."

"I told him that she's dead!" She shouts.

"Yes. Very rude of you." He remarks.

"What do you want?"

"I am not here for you. I'm here for Zuko. I promised him that I would visit often, to see how you're doing, and to keep him updated on your progress. Each time that I come, you can have a civilized conversation with me, or you can be silent. I'm only here at Zuko's request. And I will not leave by yours." Azula can see the anger in the man's eyes, even though everything else about him exudes calm.

"Tell Zuzu that I want out of this place. If he doesn't get me out of here himself, I will make him very sorry when I get out on my own." She threatens.

"And how do you plan to do that?"

"What good would it do me if I told you?" She laughs.

Iroh tries to converse with her about various things, from the weather outside, to the renovations at the Palace, to possibly seeing about some better accommodations for her if she needs anything, but Azula refuses to speak with him further.

When Chey appears to take her to her next appointment, she instructs him that he isn't to speak to either Iroh or Zuko. She won't have them brainwashing her most important pawn.

0o0-0o0-0o0-

The bath and massage that she is treated to is almost as good as the ones she'd received at the Palace. The workers are gentle, the essential oils used are the purest, the water is just the right temperature, and the food she gets here is of the highest quality.

"This is how I expect to be treated on a regular basis." She yawns. "That cell lacks civility. I suppose you all know who I am?"

"Of course, we know who you are. But don't think that this is special treatment, dear." The lady tells her as she massages the shampoo into Azula's scalp. "This happens once a week for all of the patients. To help with the buildup of tension they experience during the week. They say a moment of quiet is good for one's mental health. The treatments during the week are the healing; this is the recovery."

"I don't care what it is, so long as it happens frequently." Azula stretches and takes another bite from the apple in her hand.

"Once a week." The lady says.

"WHAT? I only get to bathe once a week?!" Azula sits up so suddenly her hair yanks her back, since the lady hasn't had time to let go. Azula splashes soapy water at her in retaliation.

"It's not like you're doing anything that would make it necessary for you to bathe more, and you do have a wash basin and cloth brought to you each morning. You won't die from a little dirt." Her tone is somewhat disdainful, but still controlled.

Azula sulks a bit, then decides to test her luck with another question about what's going on outside the walls of this place.

"So, I hear my brother is off looking for a dead woman. How's that going?"

"I'm not sure. I heard he left a few days after bringing you here. But I haven't heard anything since."

So, you did bring me here to get me out of your way, didn't you, Zuzu? Afraid I'll take things over while you're gone? Well, you're right!

"So he left my Uncle in charge. I suppose he didn't really have any other options, did he?" Azula smirks. "And how do the citizens feel about this change in power, so soon after my brother assumed the throne?"

"I'm not allowed to say. We've been given orders not to discuss anything other than your family and childhood with you." The lady's voice is silky smooth and almost soothing, her earlier disdain now well masked.

Azula decides to try a different tack.

"I'll be getting out of here one day, you know. This isn't prison, although it feels like it. I'll reward you greatly if you cooperate with me. And I'll punish you severely if you don't. I never forget a face, you know, and you do have such a distinct voice. I bet you're a singer out there, or were at some point. Wouldn't it be a shame if you were to lose that beautiful voice?" She turns to see if her words have had any effect.

The lady refuses to answer her, and her hands continue to work. She must hear things like this all the time, because her eyes betray nothing.

Azula slips back into the tub, letting the water wash over her shoulders.

Very well, peasant. If you won't obey, you will suffer.

Chapter Text

"How have you been feeling, Azula? Have you enjoyed your weekly bath?" The doctor asks her. She refuses to respond. She's already said her piece to this man, she'll have nothing more to do with him.

"Chey tells me that you weren't fond of the idea of your Uncle coming to visit. Would you like to discuss that?" She rolls her eyes.

"What about this search of your brother's? Would you like to see your mother again, Azula?"

She continues trying to stare him down. She wants very badly to see this man squirm. She wonders how cowardly he'd be if she turned his own medicine back on him.

She knows they must give her something in her noon meal to make her more honest before her sessions in here. She could feel her control slipping anytime she opened her mouth between noon and dinner. She'd love to overdose him on that, see what secrets he might have. She had a hundred ideas on how to ruin his precious career.

"I can see that we aren't getting anywhere. You clearly don't trust me enough yet. Azula, did your father ever lie to you? You only need to answer the question. Yes or no?" He leans forward.

"If he ever did, he did it because it was necessary. I hold no ill will towards him." She lies through her teeth, even as the medicine pushes her to say more, to admit that it was complicated, that she didn't know what was true, or what was a lie.

"I see. It looks like there are some more serious blocks in your mind than I thought. We'll have to try a new way. Chey!"

Chey appears.

"You may take Azula back to her room. We won't get any further today."

Chey walks beside her without a word.

"You aren't going to ask me how it went?" She asks, as they pass through the courtyard.

"No. I know that you don't like it. And I can understand why."

"The doctor says he'll try another method. Any idea what he means?"

"I suppose it means exactly that. Another method. Don't worry though. I won't let them do anything too horrible."

"Any word on my father or who might be willing to help?"

"None yet. But the day after tomorrow, I should have a day off, and I'll be able to do more asking around."

"Who will watch me while you're away?"

"I don't know, but I promise no harm will come to you. This place is meant to help people."

-0o0-o0o-0o0-

When Azula wakes up, she's in a dark room. She feels a board beneath her and realizes that she's tied to it. She realizes that she can't open her eyes. The lids feel swollen and heavy.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing, Doc?" She hears Chey ask. She tries to turn her head, but finds that it's held down too.

"I can understand your concern. I know that it doesn't look very humane. But I can assure you that she won't feel a thing." The doctor's voice.

What do you mean "Won't feel a thing"?! What are you going to do?

"But, this is what we used to torture captured enemy spies with! How is this going to help the Princess?"

Torture?!

"She was raised in an abusive household. It's possible that she's repressed certain memories that may help her recover,if she can work through them. If she has such memories, this should help to trigger them. And she won't feel this or remember it, since she's unconscious. This was a successful treatment for many of our younger patients. It doesn't work as well on the older ones, but she's within the usual range."

I'll never talk! I've already got one person in my head! I won't let you in!

"You'll stop if she seems to wake up? You won't hurt her, right?"

You'd better not! Father will have your head when I get him out of jail!

"I'll stop immediately, if she shows a sign of stirring." Doc promises.

Liar!

The board pitches and she's immersed in water. She tries to scream when she comes back up, but all that she can manage is a slight sputter and cough.

"Again."

The board throws her back in. She's almost out of air!

Back up.

"Please! Doc, I think her lips are turning blue!" Chey begs.

"Once more." You'll regret this!

The water feels hard as concrete in her throat. She does her best to summon the heat of fire to burn through the wet ropes, even though she knows it's futile.

Back up.

"Alright, that's enough. Take her back to her room. Give her some hot chamomile tea when she wakes up. It'll help with any shock."

She feels herself being untied and realizes there's no straightjacket on her. She could escape if she only had the energy. She feels a gurney wheeling her down the hall. Chey's hand brushes her wet hair from her face.

"I'll take care of you, Princess. No matter what they may do to you. I promise. I'll care for you like my own daughter! Please, get well soon." He whispers to her.

She feels consciousness slipping away, but she tries to say something anyway. All that comes out is a small breathe of a moan.

0o0-o0o-0o0-

Azula had tried everything that she could think of to make fire. Father and Zuko had been gone for a week and would be home soon and she still couldn't Firebend!

Mother had gone off to visit some friends for the day. Azula was bored of staying inside, and was out exploring some of the secret passages by the turtle duck pond. She found that she could enter most rooms of the palace without being spotted and could leave them all just as easily. There were a few she could barely fit through, making her wonder if they had been put there for use by child assassins.

She pondered what her father had said, thinking maybe it might provide her with some clue as to how to summon more than a little flickering flame in her palm. At least she'd always had that advantage over Zuko. He couldn't summon the tiniest spark.

She just had to figure out how to make it do what she wanted.

"No drive. No ambition! No self control." He'd said to Zuko.

"I just have to find my ambition." She thought to herself. "What do I really want?"

She thought of how badly she wanted to go with Father next fall to see the great wall of Ba Sing Se. She realized that to do that, she'd have to Firebend. Father also mentioned that she'd be heir to the throne if she could Firebend and Zuko could not. At the rate that he was going, he'd never learn!

"All that I have to do to rule the Nation is be able to Firebend."

She remembered Father's tiny smile at her insistence that she could learn. She didn't want to disappoint him now! Father never smiled! She, Azula, had made Father smile. She wanted that pride back. Imagine what he'd think if she could Firebend at four years old!

She summoned all her energy, all her ambition, all her desperation, and threw her fist to the sky.

A stream of bright orange flame erupted and burned a passing bird.

A huge grin spread over her face as she realized that she'd done more than most her age ever could.

Then, she noticed the bird hadn't gotten up. It was lying there, breathing hard, it's feathers still smoldering. It stank of burned flesh.

"You look pathetic." She commented to the bird. It's eyes darted over to her as it struggled to move away.

Azula laughed a little at it's helplessness and reached to pick it up. She pet it's head with a finger as it trembled in her hand. She knew she should take it to Mother to fix, but something stopped her.

She thought of Zuko and how pathetic he'd looked as he tried to lift his and Father's things aboard the ship. She remembered the look of disdain in Father's eyes. She remembered how ashamed she'd felt of her brother.

She looked at the bird and saw her brother within it's pleading eyes. How weak and useless and stupid it was. It wouldn't last much longer on it's own out in the wild anyway.

Focusing intently, she heated up her hands. The bird started to thrash around, begging for freedom, but she held it tightly. The cries from it's beak were shrill and frantic.

Azula grinned and dropped it. She bent down to watch it breathe it's last.

"You're pathetic." She said to it again.

"Young lady! What have you done!" Her mother shrieked from behind her.

"I can Firebend, Mother! Won't Father be proud!" She ran over to Mother, but Mother ran past her toward the dead bird.

"I can Firebend, Mother." Azula repeated again, confused. Mother glared at her.

"Azula, why did you do this to an innocent little bird?" Mother asked. Tears filled her eyes as she cradled the little burned lump.

"It was pathetic." Azula shrugged. "It helped me learn Firebending. Father said Zuko is pathetic. Father said that I..."

"I don't care what your father said!" Mother raged. "You can't do this to anyone! Not even birds! Do you know what it means to kill something, Azula?"

Why was Mother angry?

"I can Firebend." Azula repeated again. "Father will be proud of me. He hates Zuko."

"Your father doesn't hate Zuko." Mother said. Her tears overflowed at last.

"He does. I heard you ask him why once. Why are you crying?"

"Why do you think, Daughter?" She held up the charred bird.

Azula really didn't understand what was so important to Mother about that bird.

"You're pathetic." Is her response.

"Go to your room, young lady! I'll speaking to your father when he gets home!"

"He'll be on my side." Azula crosses her arms.

"We'll see about that. Do as you're told." Her tone was firm and her tears seemed to have stopped.

"Why? Can you Firebend, Mother?" Azula taunts.

"Are you threatening me, Azula? I said go to your room."

Azula heated up her hands again. The heat comforted her from the sting of her mother's words.

"Make me." She challenged.

Mother reached for her. Azula let Mother steer her a few steps toward the Palace then turned and brushed her hands over Mother's arms.
Mother screamed in surprise and pain. Mother had always seemed strong. Now, Azula knew Mother was weak. Like Zuko, like the bird. Father didn't like weak. Father couldn't like Mother. Father would be proud of Azula for this lesson she'd taught Mother.

"What's going on here?!" Father's voice came from ahead of them. Azula turned around and ran, looking for the bird.

"Father!" She yelled as she ran back to him, bird in hand. "Father, look! I can Firebend!"

He took the bird from her hand. He examined it and looked her up and down.

"You did this?" He asked, at last. Azula nodded enthusiastically.

"Well done, Daughter." He said approvingly. Not the smile she'd been hoping for, but his words assured Azula just the same. She felt that warm pride again.

"I burned Mother." She said, a bit sheepishly. She looked back at Mother, who was watching them with a sort of blank horror.

"I can see that. Was it an accident?"

"No." She figured that it wouldn't do to lie to Father.

"Why did you do it?"

"She tried to make me go to my room. I didn't want to. I think she was mad about the bird." Azula was tempted to look away. Now that it was in the open, it seemed wrong.

"Well done." Father said again. "Never let anyone force you into anything. Come, I'll tell you about my journey."

She followed along until she realized that Zuko was not coming along.

"What's wrong, Zuzu? You look sick." She said.

His face paled more as he looked at the bird and his mother.

"Zuzu, don't you want to tell me and Grandfather Azulon about the wall, and the soldiers, and the battle?" She asked.
Zuko's face went whiter than a ghost's and he ran to the other side of courtyard and started vomiting everything in his stomach.

"Pathetic." Her father commented. "Shall we go?"

And together, they left Zuko, her mother, and the dead bird.

Chapter Text

The air cools down to a pleasant temperature after the sun sets. Rina stands half submerged in the water of the little lake they found. Every now and again, she'll let out a strange little snoring noise. Zuko finds the sound oddly endearing.

He lays there in a little brown sleeping bag, staring up at the sky full of stars.

Those stars are all like the sun. All huge burning balls of fire. He thinks to himself. He'd read an article at the Rising Fire University not too long ago, detailing the theory and how the researchers intended to study it with a telescope a thousand times more powerful than any ever used on a Fire Navy ship. Zuko found that rather difficult to imagine, but he supposes anything was possible.

If that's true... I wonder if there are any worlds like this one out there. With people. I wonder what they'd look like.

He takes a deep breathe of the cool night air. The lake is fogging up a little, and the mist seems almost to dance in the light of a thin crescent moon.

Rina lets out another snore and shifts in the water a little. Zuko can't help the little smile on his face. He'd never felt much affection for his rhinos before. Each one had only been a means of transportation. But now that he was more open to friendships, less angry, he almost thinks of his riding rhino as a pet.

Rina has her own personality and character quirks, and he wonders if any of the other rhinos he's used in the past did and he just hadn't noticed.

He turns on his side and stares out across the flat land until it rises abruptly into mountains. He'll be heading through that mountain trail tomorrow, and will be on it for several days. His thoughts turn again to his mother.

I wonder what she's like now. I wonder if she still likes theater, or fire flakes. I wonder if she still sings at night. Will she still recognize me?

His hand brushes his scar.

She'd be proud of me for how I got it. He decides. She'll be so proud of me for helping the Avatar learn Firebending. She's going to be so glad that Father isn't a threat anymore and that she can come home.

His eyes flicker closed, and he's relaxed and ready for sleep.

A sudden flurry of feathers makes him open his eyes again, as a messenger hawk lands not two feet away from him.

He hastily takes the wrapped message and opens it. He immediately recognizes Uncle's handwriting.

My Dear Nephew,

I have been having the most wonderful conversations with your dear Mai. She comes to visit me here at the Palace often. I think she still thinks about you quite a bit. She is such a sweet young lady.

Zuko smiles a little, as warmth bubbles up in his chest. "Sweet" isn't really a word he would use to describe Mai. Beautiful, yes. Sweet? No. Definitely not.

Several of the officials here are proposing to host the Restitution Meetings here in the Grand Hall. I was wondering what your thoughts were on the matter. Personally, I think it's a great idea! We can make it festive, instead of those stuffy, boring Treaty Meetings that the Earth Kingdom put us through.

Zuko's smile becomes a grin and he has to chuckle a little to himself. Aside from the war meetings, his father would force him to sit through anything and everything from the weekly briefings on public concerns, to the monthly budget reassessment, to classes on manners and palace etiquette. Anything that was boring or just downright useless. Zuko swore his father picked the most boring things on purpose. There were many harsh admonishments for not paying enough attention when he was younger.

Iroh's idea of keeping things festive and fun certainly seemed like a good change of pace. A break every now and then helps the attention span. He'd learned this while training Aang.

Unfortunately, I do have some bad news to share. I went to visit Azula this week, as you'd asked. She seems a little less crazy, but no less driven for revenge. She told me to tell you to get her out of there, or she'd make you regret it when she got out on her own. I certainly don't think she'll get out of that place any time soon, so there is no need to worry. But when she does get out, it's very possible that she'll just have to go back to prison. I'll keep checking in and seeing if there is any improvement.

How is your search going? You promised me that you would write to me! I haven't heard from you at all in the last three months, Nephew! Are you alright? Are you eating enough? Keeping warm at night? You'd better be sure to tell me all the details of the places that you visit. Be certain to tell me anything about local situations that involve the Fire Nation soldiers and navy. It could be important for some of the laws we might pass here. I hope this letter finds you well and at peace.

Sincerely,

Your Uncle Iroh

Zuko wishes he'd brought a pen and paper with him. He carefully folds the letter and tucks it into his pocket, and gets some bread for the hawk to eat.

He lays back down, pondering what to do about his sister.

The doctor had said that her treatment was still somewhat experimental. There hadn't really been anything warm or caring about the place. And the padded room they'd put her in almost seemed smaller than the cell she'd had in the Tower.

He wonders for the millionth time if he did the right thing.

What is she going through right now? Why does she see Mother? I wonder if she thinks of me at all? Of Father? Is she lonely, or just angry?

He is startled to realize that he misses his sister. But he doesn't really understand how that can be. Every time he's seen her since he was thirteen, she'd been trying to kill him. And she certainly hadn't seemed at all upset all those years ago when Grandfather Azulon was going to make Father kill him.

Why does she hate me so much? What did I ever do to her? She was the one born lucky. She had everything she could ever want. So why did Uncle help me instead of her? What if I were the one still messed up? What if she'd taught Aang Firebending? What if there was something I could have done to stop this?

He remembers going to Ember Island, sitting on the porch of their old vacation house. She'd coaxed him to the campfire, sympathized with him. Clearly, she had some good in her somewhere. Uncle Iroh didn't really seem to think so. But that night reminded him that she'd had her struggles too. What were they? Just how had Father actually treated his favorite?

When he finally does drift off to sleep, Azula is the only thing in his mind, grinning maniacally at him, hair strewn about, charging him in their Agni Kai, her eyes streaming tears even as she grinned.

What would Mother do?

-0o0-o0o-0o0-

When he wakes, the air is already heating up, and the light fog that had been so pretty to look at the night before is now thick and soaking everything from the ground, to his sleeping bag, to his supplies. Rina is enjoying an early morning bath.

The sun isn't yet above the treeline, but it's light enough to see easily.

Zuko quickly gets up and packs everything up, wrinkling his nose a little at the soggy bread. He pitches that to Rina in the water, who happily scoops it all up in one big, wet gulp.

When they are finally on their way again, Zuko allows himself to ponder what he could do with Azula if he did take her out of the asylum. She needs help, and it looks like those people don't know what they're doing. They may have good intentions, but he doesn't want his sister to be a lab rat.

It's not like I'd know what I'd be doing either, but maybe Uncle can help. He helped me. Maybe he can help me to help Azula.

Various ideas swirl in his mind, including bringing Mai along to help. He discards that one fairly soon, since it might not be hard for Azula to turn her again. and she definitely would try. She may need help, but she sure doesn't want it.

He considers Aang's energybending. Azula's Firebending had been fairly weak soon after she'd been locked up.

Maybe it's because she has no ambition. I don't know that her fire was actually fueled by hate. Just ambition. She could get it back though, if she gets angry enough.

And she will be angry. She's been locked in a cage for months, followed by being declared insane and put into an even smaller room with nothing to do. Nowhere to go.

At least he'd been given command of a small ship and a traveling companion when he'd been banished!

He decides that Aang would have to take away Azula's Firebending for at least a little while. Which means that he'll need to find them again.

If I didn't want to find Mother so badly, I'd send Uncle to look for her and send Azula with him. He'd know how to help her. Then I could just sit back and figure out more on what I'm doing with running the country.

But he knows this isn't an option. What if Uncle makes a mistake in identifying his mother? It has been several years, and anyone fleeing the Fire Lord would have to be a true master of disguise.

Zuko already knows that he's better at tracking people than Uncle. And he can always ask Uncle for advice in how to deal with his sister.

Zuko almost doesn't see the familiar little village as it appears on the path ahead. So deep is he in his thoughts.
But he is now minutes away from it on the mountain trail.

What will I say to them? Will they help me after what happened? Do they know the war's over and that I'm Fire Lord now? Did Mother even pass by here?

He briefly considers turning around, but as he gets closer, he starts to get the feeling something isn't right.

He can't see any of the buildings coming into view over the hill. He knows he should be able to see it from here. His stomach drops into his feet and his heart almost stops.

He urges Rina into a run, rushing towards what's left of the little village.

"Gansu?" He calls. He's pretty sure that was the man's name.

"Sela?" He gets off Rina to examine the burnt remains of a building. There is a puddle of wet, ashy mud underneath some of the boards. It hasn't rained in a while. The wreckage must be at least a month old. Probably more.

"Lee?!" He gets back onto Rina and starts searching the surrounding fields and mountain trails, looking for anyone who may have seen or heard what had happened.

By the time the sun has set, he's back where he started, having found nothing to suggest that anyone had been through the area since the village had burned.

He starts to unsaddle Rina, just outside the little village. He lights a small fire and prepares to eat. As he's digging around in his saddlebags, he notices a small footprint off to the side, shadowed by the fire.

It's small enough to be a child's footprint.

And it's only a day old. Hours, maybe.

"Lee?!" Not daring to hope, but eager to help whoever might be left, he douses the fire, and ties Rina securely to a tree further down the trail.

The trail of footprints is difficult to follow. Between the clumps of grass that dot the landscape and all the backtracking this little person did, it isn't easy to get a read on a certain direction.

Eventually, he finds the land beneath his feet sloping upward, towards a hidden trail in the woods. The footpath is so narrow that it's hard not to step on the footprints.

The trees get somewhat sparse as the trail gets steeper. Walls of rock rise up around him.

The footprints here are fresh, minutes old, but very difficult to see. Whoever this is knows he's in the area now. And they know how to step lightly.

"Hello?" He calls, quietly. "Is anyone up here?"

He hears a crash off to his left and he jumps, throwing a small fireball towards the noise. It illuminates a netted bag, made from briar vines with the thorns scraped off, swinging from a tree.

But nobody is there.

He sighs, turning to head back down the mountain, with the idea of investigating further tomorrow running through his thoughts.
But a small opening in the rock wall catches his interest. Lighting a flame in his hand, he slowly approaches it.

"Hello?" He calls again. "I'm here to help."

He enters the cave, and follows it until it deadends about forty feet in.

There lay three stone chests. One is open to reveal scrolls.

Sitting down, he takes one and opens it. Inside, he can see that it's a written history of the Avatar. He carefully places it back inside and takes another scroll.

His eyes widen as he scans through it's contents. It speaks of Prince Sozin, as though it's the present tense.

He gently takes another scroll, and it looks like a brief letter written by Avatar Roku to the Crown Prince, telling of his Earthbending training.

"Put. That. Down." A child's authoritative voice commands.

Startled, Zuko drops the scroll.

"I didn't mean in the dirt, Ashmaker." It growls hatefully.

"I'm sorry. You startled me." He reaches for it and brushes it off, tucking it back into the chest.

"Back up! Get outta my cave!" The little boy demands.

Zuko hastily obeys without complaint.

"Put your light out! Who knows who else is out here. And if you yell for help, or tell anyone where I am," he brandishes a cooking knife. "I'll gut you myself!"

"No need for that." Zuko extinguishes his fire and calmly sits on a large rock.

"What are you doing up here?" The boy remains standing, coiled like a snake looking for an excuse to strike. "Who sent you, Ashmaker?"

"Nobody sent me. I'm looking for someone. I stopped by the village for supplies. I was there once and the people treated me kindly."

"Our mistake!" The boy interrupts with a hiss.

"I saw what had happened and I've been looking for survivors all day."

"I've got news for you. It's just me." He spits.

"I'm sorry." He resists the urge to reach out to the boy.

"No, you're not! And I don't care. Get out of here! I don't want you or any other Fire Scum knowing where I am. Scram! I hate you all!" A clump of dirt flies into Zuko's eyes.

"Ow! Hey! You didn't have to do that!" He shouts, wiping at his eyes.

"I don't see you leaving. Want me to do it again?" The boy draws his bare foot back for another kick.

"Stop it! I'll go if that's what you want." Zuko shields his eyes for the next dirt wave. He stands up and turns to leave, then whips around and knocks the knife from the kid's hand.

Swiftly grabbing both of the boy's wrists, he forces him down into a seated position.

Holding on firmly with one hand, he lights a flame in the other.

"Lee!" He smiles with relief as the flame illuminates the boy's face. "You made it! You're alive!"

All bravado has fallen away from Lee's face, his eyes widen in terror.

"What do you want? Are you here to kill me too?" He asks in a small voice.

Is that how I looked when Father.....

He extinguishes the flame in his hand and turns to lean back against the mouth of the cave. He keeps his hand around Lee's wrists, but makes a motion for him to sit next to him, instead of across from him.

"Lee, I'm not here to kill you. The war is over. It has been for a few months now. I don't know what happened to your village, but if Fire Nation soldiers were involved, then I need to know. I can't bring your family back, but I can make sure that the people who did this face judgement for it."

Lee doesn't say anything for a moment. Zuko thinks he hears a sniffle.

"I don't know. I wasn't there when it happened." He says, his voice squeaking.

"Where were you?"

"I was up here. Playing. Mom always told me not to wander this far. But I found this cave and all the scrolls, and I used to come up here a lot after Sensu was drafted." He sniffles again. Zuko can feel a sob jerk through the boy's body, although he doesn't hear anything else.

Zuko slowly lets go of Lee's wrists, not really thinking that he'll go anywhere now.

He glances awkwardly out of the cave at the trail while Lee collects himself.

"I hate you." Lee reiterates, not managing to summon any venom to back up the words. Zuko knows that he means it though.

"For what it's worth, I'm really sorry, Lee. I'm so very sorry." He murmurs.

"Are you going to leave now?"

"No." Zuko lights his hand up again and starts taking another look around the cave.

There are some pictures piled in one place, nestled between a rock and the wall, and some clothes, all different sizes. It's all slightly charred around the edges. There is a small bowl of berries close to the personal belongings.

"Have you been living here on your own for the last few months?" He asks, incredulous.

"Yeah. Didn't have anywhere else to go. Tried to leave a few times. But I saw Earthbenders in Fire Nation clothes farther down the mountain. I thought maybe the Fire Nation got the Earth Kingdom and that it wasn't safe. Figured nobody would help me. So I came back up here." He stares at the ground and uses his toe to draw circles in the dirt.

"What do you eat? How do you stay warm?" Zuko shines his flame closer to Lee, finding it hard to ignore how the boy flinches away from it.

Lee is even skinnier than when Zuko had last seen him, and not much taller. He is smudged in dirt and his clothes are torn. Cuts litter his exposed arms and legs.

"I eat whatever I can. I wash in the stream not too far from here, and I sleep in that pile of clothing." He mutters, pointing to each thing as he goes.

Zuko swallows hard. He wants to grab Lee and tow him down the mountain.

"I have something in my saddlebags that might help those cuts feel better." He offers instead. "And some food, if you want any. I have cured fish from Kyoshi Island. Have you ever tried fish before?"

He can see the conflict in Lee's face as he battles between his hunger and his fear and disgust.

"Can you bring it up tomorrow?" He asks, tentatively.

"You can have it tonight, if you follow me now."

Again, the silent conflict.

"Just promise we'll come back." He says. He reaches for a sharpened stick.

"I promise."

-0o0-o0o-0o0-

Zuko digs through his pack as Lee looks around. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Lee looking towards the buildings.

"I didn't find any, uh, bodies, over there. Maybe your parents made it out." He offers, awkwardly.

"How far did you dig under the wood?" He asks, as though making a point.

Zuko's stomach rolls over.

Did you actually...

"Not far." He manages to say.

"Yeah, there are bodies, Fire Scum. My mom's dead." Lee's tone is flat, resigned, even though he had been tearful at the mere mention of his family earlier.

"I'm sorry, Lee." Zuko swallows around the lump in his throat.

"Yeah, well sorry doesn't bring them back! Does it!" Lee shouts. He comes over and stands like a tall man ready to pummel his prey to death. Under different circumstances, it would have been funny due to his small size and skinny frame. But now, it just makes Zuko want to hug the kid and cry with him. He knows this is not an option at the moment though. Instead, he swallows the lump in his throat and wills his voice to be steady.

"I know it doesn't." He replies, putting the saddlebag down and turning towards Lee. "Believe me, Lee. I know."

He holds up some cured fish. Lee takes it and bites into fiercely.

"I can't change what's happened, Lee. And I can't bring anyone back. But I can help you find somewhere to live. And I can find out what happened, who did this. I can make sure that they face punishment for it."

"Whatever." Lee mutters. He watches Zuko like a hawk, ready to fight or run if he moves.

"The war's over now, Lee. The Fire Nation has surrendered. I'm the Firelord now, and my father's in jail. He's going to be there for the rest of his life. Do you remember me?" He sits, crosslegged, by his saddlebag, and takes another cured fish for himself.

"Yeah, I knew who you were the minute I saw you snooping around the village today. Kept an eye on you, making sure that you didn't take anything." He snarls.

"I see. You're pretty good at hiding your trail. I almost didn't find you." He offers as a sort of conversation starter.

"But you did, didn't you."

Zuko lets it drop.

When they finish their fish, he rolls out his sleeping bag and Lee starts heading for the mountain.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Zuko calls after him.

"Back to the cave. I'm not staying with you. You said I could go back. You promised."

"I promised that we would go back. And we will. In the morning. I promise." He pats the sleeping bag and moves off to the side. "You can sleep here. I'll keep watch. You'll be safe."

"No!" Lee makes a break for it, and Zuko quickly catches up to him.

"If you really want to sleep up there tonight, then let me gather up some things and I'll go with you." He says.

"No! I don't want you around! I told you to get lost!" Lee struggles against his hold.

"It's not safe for you to be on your own, Lee. You're lucky that you made it three months. I'm not leaving you out here to starve to death." Zuko's tone leaves no room for argument.

"Why do you want to help anyway?!"

"Because, I know what it's like to lose somebody you love. I know what it's like to feel lost and alone. I know what it feels like to starve, to be cold, and to feel like nothing is ever going to be alright again." He points to his scar. "The man who gave me this banished me from my home, when I was about your age. When I was ten, he banished my mother. I haven't seen her since. I thought for years that she was dead. I thought that the only person that had ever loved me was dead."

"Is she?" Lee spits.

"I don't know. I had some reports that she may be in the Earth Kingdom somewhere. Or in the more poor areas of the Fire Nation. Or maybe in the Water Tribes or an abandoned Air Temple. I'm looking for her now. That's why I was out here."

Lee seems to think for a moment.

"How do I know you aren't going to kill me in my sleep, Ashmaker?" He asks, although his words don't have nearly as much bite now.

"I fed you, didn't I? When we were on that mountain, I knocked your knife out of your hand pretty easily. If I'd wanted to hurt you, I would have already. I'm going to look out for you. You won't get so much as a scratch while I'm here." Zuko promises.

Lee decides that this makes sense and flops onto the ground, right where he'd been standing.

"Uh, the sleeping bag's that way." Zuko points.

"I don't need your sleeping bag, Fire Scum." Lee's tired voice mutters.

Zuko scoops him up.

"Hey!" He shouts, struggling weakly. Zuko carries him over to the sleeping bag and tucks him into it.

"When I said that not even a scratch would come to you, I meant it. No harm. Not even the cold." He reiterates in a firm tone.

"I've been sleeping without a blanket for two months. I don't need one now." Lee protests, through a yawn.

"Two months too long. Now, be quiet and go to sleep." Zuko looks up at the stars and realizes that the night is more than half gone. He glances at Lee, who's already snoring, and decides begrudgingly that it's worth it.

He lays down a few feet from the kid, and idly watches a meteor falling through the stars.

Now what do I do? He wonders, then he's asleep.

Chapter Text

"I know that I'm just a temporary guard, but isn't she just a child? She's fourteen! Do you really know what you're doing?" A man's voice shouts.

"I won't harm her more than she can take. The idea is to trigger repressed memories. The medicine in her food will help keep her calm, and make her more willing to talk about her troubles. Then, the real therapy can begin." The doctor says.

"And what is that going to be?! Tell her to jump off a cliff and see how long it takes to fall? Maybe it takes the same number of seconds as the years to some other traumatic event that maybe should just stay buried?" The outrage in the man's voice is very clear.

"If you cannot remain calm, then I'll find another guard. I do know, to an extent, what I'm doing. And I took an oath to do no harm. This has been proven to help people her age with similar stressors. An event cannot stay buried without causing some degree of continual mental anguish. Talking about repressed memories is proven to help, and this is proven to help retrieve repressed memories. Now, will you kindly get out of my way and let me do my job?"

The doctor's voice remains calm and collected. Gentle, even.

The man must do as he's told, because the next thing Azula feels is the stinging pain of flame. A familiar pain. Comforting. Safe. But oddly lonely.

-0o0-o0o-0o0-

"Azula, are you learning anything at that school I've sent you to?" Father demanded. Azula bowed her head in shame.

"Yes, Father. I'm learning. I have difficulty with some of the larger movements. The other kids are all bigger. I can't do the more powerful moves." She murmured.

"Azula, you will be clear and audible when you speak, is that understood?" He said. His hand cradles a flame, and Azula tenses, waiting for the inevitable blocking lesson.

"Yes, Father." She spoke louder and made sure to not slur the words, as she sometimes still did. She knew she had to speak like the older children now. Much was expected of her.

"A Fire Lord must always be clear and precise. What the Fire Lord decides is automatically correct, by divine right. But nobody will trust that decision if the Fire Lord mutters or appears uncertain. Weakness, indecision, anything less than absolute perfection will be seen as a reason to rebel. Fear is the only reliable way to control people, Azula. And if they think they can get out from under your thumb, they will certainly try. Your speech is very important to maintaining the standard of perfection. Of decisivness. Of strength." He rolled the fire around in his hands as he spoke, watching it with a look almost like he was calculating something even as he spoke to her.

Father was always thinking, always learning about his inferiors and enemies, always planning.

Azula wanted to be smart and strong like Father.

"I understand." She told him, again being carful to project her voice, make it bigger than it would be.

"Now, Azula, show me again what you learned in school today."

He threw the flame at her so fast that she almost didn't see it.

She jumped out of the way and fired back a blast strong enough to burn the tree behind him, although he dodged out of the way.

"Really, Azula, you behave like an Airbender." The disdain in her father's voice was very clear. "There is a reason they're extinct. Do you want to be like them?!" He fired a larger blast, too large to dodge. Azula cried out as it hit her in the stomach, sending her tumbling back and singeing her underneath her tunic.

"I'm no Airbender!" She screamed, getting up and throwing several volleys of bright orange fire.

Her father easily blocked it, firing several more smaller flames of his own.

Azula couldn't help dodging some, but she began giving as good as she got.

"Now, try some more advanced techniques. Try this!" Her father leaped into the air, completing a series of blasts in different directions. It looked almost like he was dancing. It was a powerful, dangerous dance, but to Azula, it was the most graceful thing she'd ever seen.

She attempted to copy his movements. But at a mere six years old, she lacked the balance for most of the landings. Her flames were impressive, but her movements were still sloppy and her leaps still uncoordinated.

Her stomach muscles were beginning to hurt from all the practice she'd been doing, and her skin itched and burned across her stomach and chest when her tattered uniform blew over it as she moved.

"Azula, you must learn these sets. Do you really think the majority of your battles will be against one inferior enemy? The Earth Kingdom has far more bodies to throw at our forces. And they are certainly not at our level, but their numbers are something that will set you back if you don't learn how to fight multiple opponents."

"Yes, Father. I'll learn everything that I can."

"No. You will learn everything. Everything."

"Yes, Father. I'll do as you say."

"You were bending fire at four years old, Daughter. Those students at your school are older right now, because they are inferior to you. I want you to learn quickly. By the time you are ten years old, I want you to be teaching the teachers. Do you understand?"

"I understand."

"Will you require any further training on those basic sets from school?" His tone took on it's characteristic sneer once more.

"No, Father. I'll have them mastered by the end of the week." She promised.

"See to it that you've mastered them by our next session tomorrow. There will be a test." He turned to leave.

"Yes Father." She hoped he heard her. It didn't look as though he had.

-0o0-0o0-0o0-

"Princess? Azula?! What did they do to you?!" Chey's voice rouses her from whatever state of unreality she'd just been in.

"What happened?" She asks, opening her eyes. The memory of her temporary guard's voice protesting her "treatment" comes back to her.

"They burned me! They burned me like Father burned Zuko! They think I'm useless, don't they! How dare they?! I'm the heir to the throne! How dare they?!" She rages. She realizes as she tries to move that her straight jacket has been put back on. The burns chafe underneath it.

"Princess! Please! Calm down! Please! You'll hurt yourself!" Chey begs.

With great effort, Azula forces herself to sit and simmer in silent fury.

"The doctor wants to see you later today." Chey says. "Do you want to talk about what happened before we go? I'll listen." He reaches for her shoulder and she recoils like a wounded animal.

Why did you do that? You're weak! Father will be so ashamed if he hears of this! She thinks to herself.

But, she realizes that she does want to talk. And if Chey's back, then this must be at least a day after the burning, so she can't have eaten any medicine to make her feel this way...

"Alright. I think I can talk a little." She says, making her voice quieter and soft.

Chey sits beside her, keeping his hand off this time.

"It all started when Zuko began to Firebend. I'd honestly given up on him ever learning. I think everyone did. I was resigned to the humiliation of having a nonBender brother, but..."

"When he did learn, things didn't get better, did they?" He asks gently.

Azula turns away. It's suddenly not so hard for her to sound hurt and betrayed. The change in difficulty level is...confusing.

Disconcerting.

"No." She says. "They didn't."

"Azula! Azula! Watch this!" Zuko shouted. Azula turned around, expecting to see a dumb drawing, or Zuko in a tree, or maybe trying to slash the air with his silly swords again. She wondered vaguely when he would figure out that he just wasn't good at anything and should just stop being a distraction and getting in the way of people who actually had a function in life.

Instead, she saw something that absolutely terrified her, although she didn't know why.

In Zuko's hands, there was a tiny flame. His first tiny flame.

"So?" She grouched, shrugging a little. "What exactly can you do with it?"

"This!" He proceeded to roll the flame back and forth in his hands, and toss it in the air a little, like a ball.

Azula smirked as she realized that he had no idea what he was doing.

"That's nice, Zuzu. Can you do this?" She leaped up, the way Father had shown her, throwing three quick, efficient bursts of flame, landing gracefully. She flew up again and aimed a shower of bright, but relatively harmless sparks at the turtleduck pond.

"Azula! You're hurting them!" Zuko yelled, as she landed the second time. A bunch of panicked squeaks from the turleducks punctuated his words.

"They were in the way." Azula shrugged. "So, can you do any of that?"

His eyes flickered between her and the still squeaking turtleducks. When his gaze settled on her fully again, he slowly shook his head. He tried again to bring a flame to his hand, and it didn't appear.

A rush of relief and a contented feeling filled Azula and warmed her to the core. Zuko still couldn't Firebend.

"See? Father still doesn't have any use for you. You're still pathetic and weak. You're still worthless. You're still you." She laughed.

"What is going on here?" Mother's voice rang through the courtyard.

Zuko lunged in her direction.

"Mother! I Firebent! I did it!" He exclaimed proudly.

"Show me!" She replied, eagerly.

Azula watched as he tried his hardest to summon flame. His hands smoked a little. Then, he glanced in her direction, and all the heat went away. He stared at the ground, disappointed and defeated.

"I did do it." He murmured. "I did. Azula even showed me her Bending."

Mother's gaze drifted to Azula. Azula smiled innocently. Mother glared at her.

"Is there something wrong with me, Mother?" Zuko asked.

"No. Absolutely not! You're just taking a little longer to learn. That means you'll learn more thoroughly. By the time you're grown, you'll be the best Firebender in the world! Why, I even bet you'll be so good, you could train the Avatar!" Mother answered. She pulled him in for a hug, gently rubbing the back of his head.

Azula felt a scowl take over her face. The Avatar was gone! And only the very best Bender could teach him in any case! Zuko would never have been good enough! Why did Mother not think Azula was worth the time of day?

Mother noticed her glare and mouthed, "We'll talk later." to her.

"No," Azula responded out loud. Her voice filled with hatred, but her face twisted into a smirk. "We won't!"

She relished the look of fear on Mother's face as she raised her hand.

"Azula! No!" Mother shouted. She wrapped herself around Zuko, just as Azula's flames reached her back.

Her scream is what brought Father out of his private library, which had a door adjoining the courtyard.

"Do you regret it now? Burning your mother?" Chey asks. Azula notices the fear in his voice, even though his face remains sympathetic.

Excellent. Azula thinks to herself. Just where I want you.

"Not really. She'd made up her mind by then that I just wasn't worth her time. If she didn't want me, then I didn't want her. I thought Zuko might still be somewhat useful to me later, so I wanted to make sure he knew who was in control." She makes her tone nonchalant, indifferent. A direct contrast to the vulnerability that she'd been trying to fake before.

"Or maybe, she hurt your feelings. Your Father was one of your teachers, but it seems like he was too busy to spend much time with you outside of your lessons. Your mother's rejection of you clearly hurts you." Chey reaches a hand to her shoulder.

Azula grits her teeth in an effort not to jerk away from him.

"Well, I guess there is that too. But it was what Father did after that day that really bothered me." She says, her tone annoyed.

"And what was that?" Chey asks.

"You should be fine in a few weeks, Your Highness." The nurse said, as she carefully bandaged Mother's burned back.

"Thank you." Mother murmured quietly. The story that had been told was that she'd fallen backward into one of the many fireplaces in the service areas of the Palace while trying to help the kitchen maids carry some things. Since her habit of trying to help was well known, much to Father's contempt, it seemed a believable enough story.
Father left the room, steering Azula out ahead of him. He made her stand straight up against the wall, at attention like a soldier.

"Azula, your brother has displayed an ability to Firebend this morning in the throne room. And while it wasn't very impressive, it was enough to raise the question: Will he become better than you?"

Azula felt her heart stop. She supposed that her display in the courtyard hadn't discouraged him as much as she'd thought. Zuko could still Firebend. An interesting development.

"He can't. You said so before! Even if he can Firebend, he's started so late that he'll never catch up!" She answered with a confident smile. More confident than she felt. Just like Father taught her.

"That may be, but you realize that you'll need to work twice as hard to stay ahead now, don't you?" He pressed. He leaned in a little closer, and Azula felt trapped between his intent eyes and the wall behind her.

"I will, Father. I promise. May I still go with you to Ba Sing Se?" She had to strain to keep the pleading from her voice. The answer would be a firm "no" if she showed any vulnerability. She knew from experience.

"You may. But now, I have something else to teach you. I want you to begin studying people. Learn about them. Find out what they're afraid of. Report what you find back to me. And I'll begin your new lessons from there."

"What about my Firebending? Zuzu can't catch up!"

"Are you worried that he will, Azula? Do I have reason to believe that he will?" His tone is almost curious.

"No! But you just said that I have to work twice as hard now." She pointed out.

"Your Firebending is coming along well. You no longer need my help. Practice in your spare time. Find plenty of moving targets. I believe we have a fairly lengthy list of wanted petty thieves. You could refer to that for practice. But now, I want you to focus on learning how to use your human resources. I want you to focus on your strategy. You want to be the Fire Lord, don't you? You know how to rule in the open. What happened with your mother proves that. But to be truly effective, you must also learn how to rule in shadow."

"Yes, Father."

"Then that's settled. Now, how would you like to see your brother's reaction to finding out that his mother is alright? It should be quite...amusing."

"Yes, Father."

"So, your father basically threatened you with a demotion if your brother proved better than you? No wonder you've been so angry! You had to be absolutely perfect! That alone must have driven you mad!" Chey exclaims.

"I'm not insane!" Azula shrieks.

"I'm sorry, Princess. That wasn't what I meant at all." Chey looks properly remorseful.

"Then, what did you mean, Chey?" She asks, threateningly.

"Just that you must have been under so much pressure. And how old were you when this happened? Six?! Did you actually hunt grown men down at night?!" He sounds outraged.

"Of course I did. That was the most fun I'd ever had in my life. The ways they begged for mercy, how I would burn their wrists before binding them. They were criminals. It's not like anyone would care. I could do whatever I wanted to them and nobody would lift a finger. And Mother was always trying to make me go to bed at a decent hour. So it was always fun to see her get flustered." Azula stands and heads for the door, waiting for Chey to open it.

"Sometimes, you still worry me, Princess." Chey says as he opens the door and walks with her to the doctor's office.

"That is why we're still friends." She replies lightly.

Chapter Text

As soon as Zuko ties up all his gear and secures Rina to a tree at the start of the mountain path, he and Lee head up the little trail.

"So," Zuko starts, trying to get the angry boy to talk. "What did you want to take with us?"
There is no response from Lee. He keeps his eyes firmly planted on the road ahead.

"Ok, whatever you want, buddy." Zuko says, as though Lee has provided him a list. "Nice scenery around here. Have you ever been out of the area before?"

Lee's only response is to glance at something off the path.

"I see." Zuko tries to think of something else to say.

"Have you...." He searches for something new to ask. "ever ridden an ostrich horse before?"

Lee stops and examines a few bushes by the trail, presumably checking to see if he recognizes the berries on them. Deciding that he doesn't, he continues on.

"A komodo rhino isn't much different. They're a little wider, but you should still be able to stay on. If not, maybe I can find some weights for your feet or something."

Silence.

"Ok," Zuko sighs. "So, you don't want to talk. Maybe you'll want to later. I'm good at listening. Not too good with advice. But good at listening."

What good is listening if you can't advise on a solution to the problem?! He wonders, facepalming. This kid probably thinks I'm an idiot. A very big, menacing, stupid, idiot.

They reach the cave and Zuko opts to wait outside, to give Lee some time to himself.

Lee only takes a moment to retrieve some clothes that look like they were meant for a slightly older kid, although they are torn and dirty.

Lee dumps them unceremoniously into a heap at Zuko's feet then trudges back inside. It's very clear that he expects Zuko to carry them.

When he emerges again, he's carrying as many scrolls as he can without dropping any from the chests inside.

"Hide it." He says, walking down the path and not looking back.

"What?"

"Hide. It." He enunciates.

"What about the pictures of your family?" Zuko starts to walk into the cave, certain that he can carry the pictures and the clothes.

"They're gone, Ashmaker. Pictures don't change that." The boy spits.

"You may want them later."

"I won't!" He shouts, bitterly. "Now do what I say, and close it up! There are still valuable scrolls in there. I don't want anyone else finding this place!"

"Alright. Run on down and check on Rina. I'll be along in a minute. I can help with those when I get there." He points to the boy's arms full of paper.

Lee doesn't respond, just turns and walks down the path.

Zuko sighs and walks inside the cave. He finds some empty paper, feather pens, and ink. He gathers these up, takes one more look around, picks up a few more little items, then walks back out, and sets about hiding the cave.

-0o0-o0o-0o0

"Took your sweet time, didn't you?" Lee comments in a bitter tone, as Zuko emerges from the trees.

He's dangling upside down from a branch about twenty feet in the air, munching on some of Zuko's cured fish.

"Hey! That's not safe!" Zuko shouts, running forward.

"Relax! I've been doing this since I was a kid!" Lee shouts back.

"You're still a kid!" Zuko retorts.

Lee pauses for a moment.

"Yeah, maybe, but I survived pretty well alone for two months, right? Doesn't that kind of make me an adult?" His tone suggests it's a statement of the obvious, rather than a question.

"No, it doesn't. Now get down before I decide to tie you to the rhino!"

Lee sighs. He mutters something about "all burn and no fun".

He trudges over to where Zuko is beginning to pack up his meager belongings.

"We'll need to make a quick stop in Chin Village. I need to write a letter and send it to my Uncle." Zuko says, as he secures the saddlebag on Rina's back.

"Whatever." Lee responds.

Zuko looks over at him and isn't too surprised to see dried tearstreaks in the grime on the younger boy's face.
His irritation eases a bit.

"Hey," He kneels down in front of Lee, so they are eye to eye. "I know it's been rough for you. And I won't lie: Long journeys are not always fun. But I'll try and find some fun for us along the way, ok?"

Lee just glares at the ground, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Do you know how to swim? I found this awesome little lake on the way in. It's a few hours from here. Maybe we can stop for quick swim, get all that mud off of you." He tries again.

Lee looks at him, and despite his glare, his eyes are still watery. With sad tears, angry tears, scared ones, or all of the above, Zuko isn't certain.

The impulse hits him to hug Lee, and this time, he doesn't resist it. He throws his arms around the boy's skinny frame, pulling him close.

"Get off me! Get off me!" Lee shouts, struggling to get free. "I hate you! You're the reason this all happened! And you know it! Get away from me!"

Zuko jumps back, surprised.

"Look, I'll go with you until I can find my brother, or someone else to help me look for him. But don't even think that I will ever be your friend. And I don't need you! You've just made it clear that you won't let me leave. I'll go with you, because you're making me go. But don't you ever lay a hand on me again!"

"I understand." Zuko stands up stiffly, and gets onto Rina. He waits, staring dead ahead, waiting for Lee to realize that he can't get on the rhino without Zuko's help.

Lee walks out ahead of Rina. And keeps walking, like he doesn't intend to wait for Zuko.

"Where do you think you're going?" Zuko demands, after about ten seconds.

"You didn't seem to know where you were going, so I picked a direction and started walking. My brother would have been heading towards Ba Sing Se to defend it after Omashu fell. That's where I'm going. You can't stop me." He continues to walk as he speaks, not bothering to turn around to converse.

Zuko just sighs and urges Rina into a very slow walk. It's going to take them forever.

I guess that I'll have to wait and see if he gets tired enough to head for Chin Village soon.

-0o0-o0o-0o0-

The air heats up quite a bit by the time they've reached level ground. Lee slumps and trudges wearily up ahead.

Zuko figures they can make the lake by tonight if he can just nudge the kid to turn south.

But he isn't sure about how to do that without being overly obvious.

"Are you tired?" He decides to ask.

Lee offers no response.

"I have some water." He tries again. Rina's ear flicks back at the word. He puts a hand on her skin and knows she needs to get to the lake too.

When Lee's only response is silence once more, Zuko urges Rina ahead to get in front of him.

"Lee, I asked you a question. I need an answer." He states clearly.

Lee looks up at him and glares.

Annoyed, Zuko takes a waterskin and tosses it to the ground at the boy's feet, then wheels Rina around and heads for the lake, assuming Lee will get scared and catch up to him. If not, he'll absolutely come back for him. And maybe he'll stay within shouting range. But Lee doesn't need to know that.

Chapter Text

Lee can hear Zuko getting more and more distant. He decides that he doesn't care. He doesn't really want to walk all the way back up the mountain now though, in the cold and the dark. At least down here, it's still warm. The sun is disappearing rapidly over the horizon and he knows he won't be safe out in the open.

He thinks about the leaving the waterskin behind, just to spite Fireboy. But he realizes that he would just be spiting himself. He picks it up and continues on, keeping the sun and the mountains to his left.

He isn't sure how long he's walked for when he notices a boy following beside him.

"Where did you come from?" He asks.

"Oh, I've been waiting for you all day. I'm living in Gao Ling at the moment. My father is a farmer there. Do you remember me, Lee?" The boy gently removes the waterskin from Lee's hand and takes a sip.

Lee looks hard at him.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think I do!" He says, after a moment.

"You're the Kyoshi kid! The guy who could predict the future!"

"Not so loud, please." The waterskin is shoved roughly back into his hand. "I don't need the whole world to know!"

"Oh. Right." Lee lets the words hang empty in the air, like question marks.

"I knew you were going to be here tonight. I know you're going to get lost after I leave." The boy offers by way of an answer.

"I know which way I'm going!" Lee says, irked. "My dad taught me how to navigate with the Sun and the stars!"

"Then it isn't the Sun or the stars that will help you to find your way again." The boy picks up a shiny little white rock and throws it, skipping it over the ground like it would move if skipped over water. Then, abruptly, it disappears. Into thin air.

"Wow! How did you do that?" Lee shouts. He rushes over to where the stone disappeared.

"Simple. It was never really there." The boy shrugs.

"What? How could it not be there?" Lee brushes his hands around in the dirt, looking for the pretty stone.

"I have to go now, Lee. I was only here to tell you that you have a long road ahead of you. That Firebender? You don't have to be friends with him, if you don't want to. But you do have to cooperate with him. Your paths run together for now. They'll go different ways later, but for right now, you need each other." The boy turns to leave.

"Wait!" Lee calls out. He turns back.

"You said I would get lost, and that I wouldn't find my way back. How do I get back when that happens?" He asks.

"The way back will find you. Remain calm when it appears." The boy says it as though it's common sense, not a sentence that Lee could have placed in a mysterious fairy tale.

"How will I know it when I see it?"

"You'll know. Come and see me when you get to Gao Ling. My father wants to speak with the Firebender." He pauses for moment, seeming to think.

"My name is Weilai. All your other questions will be answered in time. I don't have the answers for you anymore. It's up to you now."

"Did you just read my mind?" Lee can't help the squeak in his voice.

"I see the future, remember?" The boy smiles, then continues on his way.

Lee watches for a minute, waiting for him to disappear like the stone had, but he doesn't. His form recedes, steadily but predictably into the distance.

Lee wants to run after him, but he realizes that his waterskin is dry. He sees a pool of water off to his right, and starts heading towards it. The pool seems to get smaller as he gets closer.

He stops and studies it, thinking that it may be a mirage created by the setting sun.

After a moment, he realizes that it's gotten larger. He steps forward, tentatively. It doesn't change. He steps forward again.

Resuming his previous pace, he's irritated to realize that it's resumed it's own, steadily shrinking in time to the rhythm of his steps.

He stops and watches it again, and it expands a bit as before.

He takes a few steps, it slowly shrinks. He stops and waits, it slowly grows. It seems to be luring him across the open field.

He cautiously follows it.

It recedes to a a little hole next to a tree. Then, it doesn't move again.

When Lee reaches it's edge, he's puzzled by what he sees.

His reflection in the water morphs into a burning village. His village!

He sees flickers of faces of the people he knew. His father, his mother, his brother, the kind old lady who ran the tea cottage just outside of town, the man who ran the produce stand, and more.

Then, the Firebender's face appears before him, but as a younger boy. There are people in the background, but Lee can't make out their faces. A shadow falls over the scenes, darkening them. The water turns black.

The sudden sounds of screams fill the air.

Lee screams with them, and runs. He drops the waterskin, and runs for all he's worth. The world seems to change around him, from the open field in front of him into a place that's as dark as the oncoming night. Wind seems to howl through the trees, although he can't see any trees.

The more panicked he gets, the more the world spins.

I'm lost! He realizes. How do I get back?!

"Weilai!" He yells. "Weilai! Where are you?!"

He crashes through shadowy underbrush, hoping to find some way out of this mysterious place.

He looks for the moon or the sun or the stars, and finds that there is no sky above him at all. Just Nothing.

What's going on?! He wonders.

"HELP ME! SOMEBODY!" He screams, feeling his throat go raw.

"Anybody!" He feels so tired. He can't run anymore. He just can't.

He notices that he isn't out of breath though.

He sits down, wondering how he even got into a forest or jungle or whatever it is to begin with.

"Lee?" He hears Fireboy's voice calling. "Lee? Where are you?"

"I'm over here! I can't see!" Lee shouts back hoarsely.

"Lee! This is not funny!" He hears worry very clearly in the Ashmaker's voice.

"I'm over here!" He repeats.

The guy continues to call for him as though he hasn't heard. But he doesn't sound far away.

Lee starts to follow the sound of his voice, through the darkness. He takes deep breaths to help fight off the panic rising once more in his chest. The forest seems to open up a path for him, but the air feels tense, like everything could snap back to where it was before and lock him in forever.

He forces himself to think of something good. He thinks of Dad and going starwatching. He looks up and sees a single star overhead.

The sky is brighter now, and he can see the color of the forest around him. It looks like a normal enough forest.

He takes a deep breath and looks for the sun, or what's left of it. He sees a break in the trees, with the last of the sun's rays just disappearing behind them, the sky still a dim orange color.

Suddenly, he can see the Firebender in the distance. He's a lot farther off than the sound of his voice would suggest. He can still hear him calling as though he were next to him, but he looks to be almost a mile away.

Lee's throat is too sore to call out again, so he just keeps walking in the direction of the setting sun.

"Oh no! Lee!" The panic is clear in the Ashmaker's voice.

Lee can see him kneel down to look at something on the ground. The forest is suddenly gone. He looks around in shock, wondering where it went.

He's suddenly standing next to the older boy, looking at a still form on the ground.

It's holding a full waterskin. It's himself.

Darkness consumes Lee as the sky finally turns black for the night, but he can't see any stars.

Chapter Text

It's still dark when Zuko rises. Dew soaks through his clothes and he shivers. The nights are getting colder, even though the days can still be blistering hot. He vaguely realizes that yesterday was the Autumn Equinox. It's officially autumn.

He joins Rina in the little lake to warm up a bit. He has a change of dry clothes in his saddlebag, which is made out of a treated leather to keep moisture out. Assuming he's remembered to secure the flap properly. The memory of soaked bread makes his empty stomach growl more insistently.

Once he is warm and changed, he takes some dried seaweed and more cured fish out of his pack.

His stomach twists a bit at the thought of eating more of the same food. He places a hand over it, silently telling it to be grateful as he remembers starving around four months ago.

He sets up a little tin plate for Lee and sets it next to the boy's head.

Zuko had been absolutely panicked when he'd found Lee lying prone in the fields with the full waterskin clutched tightly in his hand.

He'd wondered why Lee hadn't drank it if he was so dehydrated. At first, he'd thought it was just Lee being stubborn, but if that were the case, then why hadn't he left the waterskin on the ground where he'd thrown it?

He'd tried to wake the boy several times on the ride back to the lake, to no avail.

Once he'd finally gotten Lee's face clean and settled him into the sleeping bag, he'd pinched his nose and tilted his head back, pouring as much of the water as he could safely get into the little mouth and throat.

Then, exhausted from losing half the night for the second day in a row, he'd collapsed on the ground next to Lee and fell asleep, not caring if the boy shouted at him when he woke up.

Done waiting for the kid to wake up on his own, Zuko starts to gently shake him, hoping that he isn't in a coma or something.
Lee's eyes snap open and he bolts upright.

"I'm here! I'm here!" He shouts, at the top of his lungs, and as though shouting from a great distance.

"I know." Zuko says, pushing him gently back down. "Take it easy. You were dehydrated. I found you collapsed out in the field last night. I gave you as much water as I could. Just settle down."

"You mean I wasn't in the woods?" Lee asks, groggily.

"What woods? You were in an open field. Remember?"

"I was lost. I couldn't find my way out. The woods kept getting thicker. It wouldn't let me go! You sounded so close, but you were way far away when I did finally see you!" The boy rambles.

"Lee, it was just a bad dream. You were pretty out of it. Here," He props him up on a saddlebag and puts the plate of food on his lap. "I have more water for you when you're done with that."

He starts securing the other saddlebag to Rina's saddle.

"What about Weilai?" Lee asks, shoving the fish into his mouth.

"Who?" He turns around sharply. Had someone attacked the kid? Zuko had forgotten to check for bruises or other signs of a struggle. He resists the urge to facepalm.

"Weilai. The boy from Kyoshi Island. He was sort of a friend of mine a long time ago. He said he'd been waiting for me. He can see the future, you know. He said that he knew I was going to be there. He said I have to cooperate with you, even if I don't like you, because our paths cross or something. I don't always understand what he says. He was always a bit weird like that." Lee puts the plate to the side, leaving the seaweed on it alone. He gets up and heads for the water's edge.

"It was all a dream, Lee. Kyoshi Island is at least a week away from here on foot. Maybe more. How would your friend get here from there without his parents knowing about it?" Zuko follows him, in case the kid can't swim. Lee just sits down and drags a stick through the water, watching the ripples.

"He says he lives in Gao Ling now." Lee continues, as though he hasn't even heard Zuko's question. "He said his dad wants to talk to you. They're farmers there now. He said he knew where and when to find me. I told you he can see the future."

"Lee, That's even further away. And nobody can see the future. Not even the Spirits know what's going to happen for sure." Zuko rolls his eyes and reaches for Lee's half empty plate.

"How do you know what the Spirits can see? Have you ever been to the Spirit World?"

Zuko wants to retort that, no, he hadn't been himself, but that his Uncle had. And how about Lee? Had he ever been there? Zuko opens his mouth with the intention of saying just that, but Lee doesn't give him any opening to do so.

"Anyway, Weilai could. He's the one who told me the story of the Fire Lady. He's the one who came up with the story. And then the adults thought it was cool and wrote it all down. But they got all the dates wrong. Weilai wasn't happy about it. Said it was making destiny harder to find or something. But that was a few years ago that he told me that. I was...eight maybe. Dad used to take me to Kyoshi Island when he went to sell meat every year. We would stop to drop off my brother at school in Chin Village on the way. It was the best time of the year! I got to go see the world and meet new people. But anyway, Weilai said there was a lady and that she'd go through all Four Nations by the end of her journey." Lee laid back and gazed into the sky. "He said she might be in an Air Temple somewhere. He said there had to be at least one Air Temple left."

"Here. You need to eat this. It'll help put meat on your bones." Zuko shoves the plate in his hands, angry that one of the two leads he has from Kyoshi Island turns out to have been invented by some child.

"I don't wanna eat that! It's gross." Lee complains, sitting up and dumping the plate in the pond.

"Hey! I worked hard for that food!" Zuko groans.

"Everybody knows that it's meat that puts meat on your bones." Lee states, matter of factly.

Zuko facepalms and grabs the plate.

"Don't get mad at me when you get hungry." He grunts.

Lee hops to his feet and starts to run ahead.

"Where do you think you're going?" Zuko asks, tying up the last saddlebag, plate tucked inside.

"To Gao Ling. It's where Weilai said to meet him." Lee says. He's not as angry as yesterday. It almost seems like a great weight has been taken off his shoulders.

"Lee, for the last time, there is no way your friend met you last night and then disappeared. It was just a dream." Zuko says.

"But he said his dad wants to talk to you!" Lee insists, getting angry.

Zuko sighs and rolls his eyes.

"We'll get to Gao Ling soon enough, Lee. But we have to stop in Chin Village to get you some new clothes and some more food for us."

"Can I get an ostrich horse to ride?" Lee asks, somewhat interested.

"No. I'm going to teach how to ride Rina." Zuko says. He lifts the kid up and hands him the reins. Lee wobbles around a bit. His legs don't reach very far down the komodo rhino's sides.

Zuko reaches up to steady him as he lays himself on his stomach in an effort feel more secure.

"Wow! The world looks so different from up here!" Lee shouts, right in Zuko's ear.

"Just sit up straight, and keep looking straight ahead." He orders.

Lee straightens up and tries to do as he's told. When he stops wobbling around, Zuko leads Rina forward at a nice slow walk.

"Whoa!" Lee shouts, as he starts to slide off. Zuko catches him at the last second, before he can send both of them tumbling to the ground.
Rina stops dead in her tracks and looks at the two as though asking herself a very important question. Evidently finding her answer after a few seconds, she starts eating grass.

"I think I'm too short to ride your rhino." Lee comments, starting to walk once more.

"You don't say." Zuko replies, dryly. He mounts up onto Rina and submits to the fact that his travel time will be doubled for the forseeable future. He does not feel like getting his guts squeezed out in the kid's effort to stay aboard behind him.

Lee obediently follows him, occasionally wandering out ahead to look at something of interest. He doesn't respond to any further attempts at conversation.

It must have been one really bad dream. He definitely still hates me, but he sure believed that little friend of his. And he's not going anywhere. Zuko muses to himself.

Chapter Text

Mai sighs sullenly for what must be the hundredth time as she enters the main hallway of the Palace. Some servants approach her to offer a small plate of refreshments, and as usual, she waves them off.

She continues down the hall to a door that leads to what used to be the war room. It's open and she sees that a new window off to the right is open to the air, letting in the special scent of a Fire Nation autumn into the room. The curtains, thin and translucent, billow in the breeze like a flickering flame.

In the middle of the room, sits General Iroh, now Acting Fire Lord Iroh. Across from him sits King Kuei of Ba Sing Se, King Bumi of Omashu, Chief Pakku of the Northern Water Tribe, the two Beifongs and some other nobility from Gao Ling, a Sun Warrior tribesman, and a few teachers from the local Fire Nation schools.

Mai recognizes Asuri, the physical education and primary Firebending teacher of the Royal Fire Academy for Girls.

"It's good to see you again, Mai." Asuri greets her as she walks in.

"It's good to see you, as well, Teacher." Mai replies with the customary bow.

Fire Lord Iroh beckons her closer. She looks over at King Bumi a bit suspiciously, then accepts the Fire Lord's invitation.

"We were just discussing some of the ways we can all send a message of forgiveness and reparation to all of the major cities and territories. Would you care for a bit of tea?" He asks her. He stands and pulls out a chair for her to sit beside him.

"Yes, please." She says, accepting the cup when it's offered to her. She takes a small, measured sip, and settles in to listen to the conversation.

"Where did we leave off?" Iroh asks the leaders assembled across from him.

"I was just saying that, as far as Ba Sing Se is concerned, we need a way to improve our communication throughout the city." King Kuei states. "News can take days to travel from the different Rings. And with everyone so on edge after Princess Azula's coup, nobody is really sure what can happen. We can't trust the Dai Li anymore. We can't trust our neighbors anymore. Some peope are worried that they can't trust their families anymore! And with all the refugees in the city, everyone assumes that another takeover is right around the corner. I'm not sure news of the war's end has reached the Lower Ring yet. There are fights in the streets, businesses burning, theft." He shakes his head sadly. "It's an atrocious situation."

"I see." Iroh strokes his beard thoughtfully. "I doubt that my sending Fire Nation soldiers to restore civil order will help matters much. I could send messenger hawks with pamphlets to drop, but it would possibly only spread rumors. What about Omashu's mail system? Is there a way that we can replicate that within Ba Sing Se?"

"Certainly." King Bumi snorts loudly. "But it could take a few months to make sure it's up and working properly. What about...I know! Let's get Avatar Aang to do a spiritual projection of himself over all the main squares!" He stands and assumes a posture that looks like it's supposed to represent a ghost. "Oooo! Hello everyone! I'm Avatar Aang! The war is over, and the Fire Nation has left your city!" He says in a "spooky" voice. "Stop squabbling amongst yourselves and go about your day until you receive further instructions." He sits down again. "Something like that."

Everyone stares at him as though he's crazy. He does that weird snorty laugh again.

Mai feels somewhat nauseous. The man just creeps her out. Everyone else seems to think he's sane, or at least safe enough to be around.

She trusts Fire Lord Iroh's judgement.

"I'm not sure that a Spirit Projection is possible without a Solstice. Even for the Avatar." Iroh says. "I think it best that we commission some of our new printshops to produce enough pamphlets to pass out in the streets and then give them to the existing mail carriers. It will cause the least amount of panic and will not be too much of a logistical nightmare. I will write to Avatar Aang and ask if there is such a thing as Spirit Projections. I cannot guarantee any faster or safer solution than this."

"In the meantime, I do like the idea of implementing Omashu's mail system in Ba Sing Se. It would be a far more efficient way of delivering mail and news to the people. It may help people from the different Rings get to know each other." King Kuei leans down to run a hand over Bosco's fur, waking the slumbering bear under the table. The pudgy bear had reportedly been exhausted by their travels around the world during the last months of the Hundred Year War.

Bosco yawns, reaches up for a quick hug and then flops back down into a deep sleep.

Mai sighs and rolls her eyes. Why bring a bear into a diplomatic meeting?

Then again, she realizes that aside from Iroh's invitation, she doesn't really belong here either. She isn't royalty or a high standing official.

"And what of Gao Ling?" Lao Beifong asks, impatiently. "Your soldiers took it over in the last days of the War. Most of our farmland has been destroyed. What little food is left is going to the Fire Nation soldiers first, then to us. We'd give more out, but there just isn't enough to go around! The soldiers watch our trade like hawks and distribute goods as they see fit. They raid our artisians' homes and sell whatever they find, giving anywhere between a quarter to a tenth of the profit back to the original makers. I don't even want to know how our farmers are faring!" His voice has risen quite a bit by the end. He takes a deep breathe to calm himself. "I just don't see how this can continue much longer." He says, shaking his head. "We might have a revolt on our hands in another few months. That might restart the War."

"It would not restart the War as far as I or my nephew are concerned. I can promise you on my nephew's behalf and on our honor that if such an uprising should occur, we would treat it as a local conflict, not a reason to resume hostility. Our soldiers would be given pardon for any violence they commit as a result of having to defend themselves and we expect you to hold your citizens responsible for their actions. However, we will certainly try and charge our soldiers there for any crimes they have committed up to that point that may have fed the fire in your people. They should have received word by now that they are to leave Gao Ling and to return home. If they have not done so within another month, I will ask my nephew to make a stop there and let them know that they are to leave immediately. I don't know what may have delayed the message, or if they are waiting to see if the change of power is permanent. But I can assure you, it will be dealt with." Iroh stands to give a deep bow.

"If I may, Fire Lord?" Chief Pakku asks.

Iroh nods his assent.

"The Northern Water Tribe was heavily damaged by the attack of your Navy. We have repaired much of the damage ourselves. However, I must ask for some form of reparation for our lost tribesman."

"I understand. What would you suggest?" Iroh sips his tea.

"I believe it would be beneficial to us that some of your younger students come and learn our ways. They can be trained into ambassadors between our people. I would like for them to begin by attending our funerals for our fallen. It may teach them something of the atrocity their country has committed." Pakku's voice is calm enough, but his eyes still seem cold.

"I also request several of your most recently built ships, so that we can defend ourselves in the event that someone should usurp you or your nephew and attack us again. It's not exactly a secret that several of your citizens don't believe in peace, or in the new Fire Lord and his Uncle." He continues.

"I will see to it." Iroh nods. He turns to Asuri. "Do you have anyone in mind for the student exchange?" He asks.

"A few. I will speak to the other schools and to the families. I'll need about a month to do a thorough sweep." She responds. She catches Mai's eye.

Mai shakes her head slightly and looks away.

I do not want to go to some frozen wasteland and learn about a bunch of backward peasants. She thinks to herself.

"I think we've accomplished enough for one day." Iroh says. "I have some personal matters that I must attend to. There are refreshments in the hallway, should anyone feel hungry. I'll have our kitchens prepare a lovely feast for this evening. It will start at sunset. Enjoy yourselves, everyone! And as always, if you should require anything, there will always be a servant nearby. I ask only that you treat them as you would your own family. Have a good afternoon." He rises and beckons Mai to follow him.

-0o0-o0o-0o0-

"I apologize for interrupting your meeting." Mai dutifully says, as Iroh enters his personal office and closes the door. The room is dark until he lifts the curtain by the rice paper window.

"Not at all. I was actually hoping to hear your opinion on some things." He sits down at his desk with another cup of tea. He holds up an empty cup as an offer of more for her.

"No thank you." She says. How many cups of tea does he drink in a day?!

"Please, sit. There is another chair in that corner over there." He points in the general direction while opening a rolled paper with his other hand.

"What's that?" Mai asks.

"A letter from Zuko. He hasn't written me since he left, so I'm quite eager to read it. It arrived right before the meeting started this morning."

"I see."

"What's your opinion of the situation in Omashu?" He looks up from the letter to address her now.

"Oh, I was in the palace most of the time. I didn't see much of what was going on. I guess it's alright. The Avatar got everyone out. It was basically a ghost town after that. And then Azula showed up and hauled me along on her little adventure." Mai can't resist rolling her eyes.

She looks curiously at the letter in his hand.

"Would you like to read it? There is nothing here that is strictly confidential." He holds it out to her and for a brief moment, she wants to take it. To see her exboyfriend's handwriting again, to hear his voice as her eyes read his words.

A picture of Azula's face interrupts her moment of thought. She straightens back up in her chair and narrows her eyes bitterly.

"No, thank you." She says in a short, flat tone.
Iroh, completely unaffected, places the letter back on his desk.

"You know," He takes a sip of tea and leans back a little, almost as though he's in a rocking chair. "My nephew cares a great deal for you. It hurt him deeply when you decided to break off your relationship with him. I understand that you feel distrustful of him. The fact that you had to deal with Azula almost all of your life is probably no comfort to you. But Zuko is not normally duplicitous. He just wants to find his mother. If she can be found. He is not Azula, nor could he ever become her. And he is certainly not his father, no matter how alike they may look. As a Prince, he could have had any girl in the Fire Nation. He chose you."

"I only ended up with Zuko because Azula arranged the whole thing. She knew I had a crush on him and that he may have liked me. When he came back after they defeated the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, she made certain to suggest I should hang out with him more. When she mentioned it more than three or four times, I realized that it was an order. I was happy with it, because I had liked him since I was young. But our relationship only existed because Azula said so. The minute that she was out of the picture, Zuko started to seek her and his father out for advice. Without telling me. Without telling anyone. I know he wants the throne. He talked about it all the time when we were younger, whenever I was allowed to talk to him. And I know it must be difficult for him. But..." She isn't sure that she's making any sense.

"It is understandable that you would be worried about your relationship with someone who wields as much power as he does, especially when things are so uncertain right now, with the war ending, his father in jail, and the fact that Azula set you both up as a part of her plans." He reaches out to pat her arm reassuringly. "But you must realize that my nephew is not like his sister. He is just like anyone else. Equal capacity for good and for evil. He has made the choice to be good. He could always choose differently. But his mother and I taught him better than that. And he has seen suffering with his own eyes, felt cruelty within his own body, and felt the guilt and regret that can come from making the wrong choice. He is not naive, and he is not stupid. He is growing in his wisdom every day."

"I'm still mad at him." She admits, not meeting Iroh's gaze.

"It's alright to be angry, disappointed, and afraid. As long as you don't let those emotions control you." He pours another cup of tea for himself and a cup of water that he offers to her.

She drinks it to help swallow the lump in her throat.

"My father always said the same thing." She mutters darkly.

"Your father gave you a valuable piece of advice, but he did so with the wrong intentions, and the wrong interpretation of what it means to control one's feelings instead of being controlled by them." Iroh gazes sadly out the window.

"I don't see how it could have more than one meaning." She shrugs and resists the urge to roll her eyes.

"To be in control is not to ignore or suppress the emotion. Emotions and thoughts work like fire." He lights a flame in his hand. "Fire is unpredictable, and the slightest thing can influence it. But it doesn't have a mind of it's own. Fire is pure energy. But it requires direction. It burns along the ground," he tilts his hand and the flame angles upward and starts to drift towards his sleeve. "And it's blown about by the wind." He blows it a little and moves his hand back to a flat position. The flame recedes. "It can be controlled by Humans. With Bending, or with tools." He throws a tiny fireball, no bigger than a coin, towards an empty space on the stone wall, then picks up a tea cup and holds it near the flame still flickering in his hand, the flame moves around the cold cup. "Water is it's natural solution." He extinguishes the flame with the remnants of his tea in the cup.

Mai watches his display with curiosity, her brow knitted with concentration, and her earlier nerves and irritation forgotten.

"The key, my dear Mai, is not to extinguish your beautiful flames, but to direct them to do your bidding. Your emotions are there to fuel your action on your decisions. But your decisions should be made with the mind, not always with the heart." He throws an arm around her, and for some reason, it reminds Mai of Ty Lee. She wonders vaguely where Ty Lee ended up when she left with the Kyoshi Warriors. No doubt she was having the time of her life.

A knock on the door to the study echoes throughout the room.

"Come in!" Iroh calls.

The door opens to reveal a handsome older teenaged boy, with the thin, sharp features and amber eyes of a Fire Nation citizen, but the darker brown, slightly more coarse hair of the Earth Kingdom. A guy of colonial origin. And very cute, Mai admits to herself.

"Kei Lo! Please, come in! What's the news?" Iroh gets up and hugs him, then reaches into a cabinet to the left of the desk and window to get another teacup for him.

The boy smiles briefly, sits in the chair that Iroh pulls out for him, takes a sip of tea. He nods a polite greeting towards Mai, then starts to speak to Iroh in a hushed voice, his face now a picture of concern.

"Sir, there have been rumors in town of a group that wants to put Ozai or Azula back on the throne. They're calling themselves the New Ozai Society. I'm not sure how many of them there are, but people aren't too comfortable with Fire Lord Zuko being away for so long when he's only just become Fire Lord. A lot of Fire Nation citizens are angry about the war ending. They believe what they've been told all their lives about us spreading our greatness or something. I thought I should warn you." Kei Lo places his tea back on the table and leans forward, awaiting Iroh's response.

"I have heard mention of this group before. I will have some guards posted around the entrance to the Palace and we'll close the gates during the lunch hour in addition to at night." Iroh strokes his beard. "What do you know of them?"

"Not much, sir. Just that a few previous generals and governors of formerly occupied Earth Kingdom posts are with them." Kei Lo shrugs. "I don't know how many there are in total. I think they're still a relatively small group. But they're growing, from what I hear."

"Keep an eye on them." Iroh says, standing up.

"Yes sir." Kei Lo replies as he follows suit.

"In the meantime, this dear young lady and I were about to get some lunch. Would you care to join us?" Iroh gathers the tea things on a tray and hands them to a servant standing outside the study door.

"Certainly, sir. Although, I won't be able to stay too long. Master Piandao is expecting me back for my lessons." He says.

"Ah, yes. He trained my nephew. He is a very good man."

Kei Lo looks toward Mai, who's been silent for the whole exchange.

"I know you. But I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Kei Lo." He bows to her.

"I'm Mai. It's good to meet you." She bows in response.

"Likewise. Maybe we can get some fruit tarts sometime. I know a great place just down the road from here." He flashes an adorable smile at her.

Her heart flutters, but she keeps her face perfectly blank.

"Maybe. No guarantees." She replies, just short of sounding cold.

He shrugs nonchalantly as they continue down the hall. If her tone had bothered him, he shows no sign of it.

She finds that somehow irritating and endearing all at the same time.

Not again. She thinks to herself. Never again! She knows she's only fooling herself with that last thought though. She doesn't have a choice about whether or not she wants to marry. She will. But with Azula gone, she has a bit more room to choose...

Despite her devout efforts, a small smile sneaks it's way onto her face. Kei Lo notices and shoots her a grin. Her face burns of it's own accord and she quickly looks away.

Iroh continues on, seemingly oblivious to their silent exchange.

-0o0-o0o-0o0-

After lunch, Kei Lo bides them goodbye and leaves the Palace. Iroh retires to his bedchamber for an afternoon nap. He tells Mai that she's welcome to stay as long as she'd like, to read books in the library, or eat in the dining area, or enjoy a cool afternoon in the gardens.

She sort of wanders around for a while, appreciating how different the Palace feels now that Ozai and Azula are gone. It felt large, ominous, and empty before. It's still empty. Ish.But no longer ominous. Iroh has been moving things from various places around the world, trying to make it more festive.

Originally, Mai had been hired by her aunt at a flower shop after the war ended. Happy to have something to do that didn't involve Azula, or being locked up in a house with her mother and a baby and not much to do, she took the opportunity.

She hadn't thought it would be all that interesting, really. She ended up enjoying the scents of the various flowers and greenery, and the fresh air and light that came from several open windows. The people coming in and out were generally cheerful. And Mai had found herself actually liking the situation.

Then, Zuko had shown up one day, and noticing that she had developed a good eye for shades and arrangements, had asked her to come back to the Palace to help him decorate. He explained that his Uncle had suggested decorating the Palace, making it a more happy place to be, and an idea involving folding paper into the shapes of various kinds of flowers to go with all the new furniture and tapestries. She wasn't too sure at first about paper flowers, but eventually they'd figured out what they were doing.

Now, she looks at all the artwork along the walls, and the tables decorated with their paper flowers in glass vases that had Water Tribe patterns.

It makes her smile, just a little, with nostalgia.

A deep, peaceful feeling envelopes her as she feels a breeze coming through the hall, bringing in the fresh scent of the garden on the other side, unseen around a corner and through an open door.

Her feet take her towards the study, with it's door still open.

She picks up the rolled paper containing Zuko's letter. She hesitates before opening it, looking over her shoulder into the hallway.

He did say that I could read it.

Resolutely, she opens it. The handwriting is familiar, comforting, even as she wants to be angry at the person who wrote it.

Dear Uncle,

I'm not really sure what I've gotten myself into this time, but I'm certain that I may have bitten off more than I can chew here. I could use whatever advice you can give. I don't know the first thing about kids.

Oh, and I know I haven't written in a while. Sorry for that. Let me explain what's happened so far.

I started out on Kyoshi Island. They had me stay there and help them for two months to repay them for the damage I'd caused the last time I was there.

It actually wasn't too hard. They treated me pretty fairly, considering everything. The village leader, Oyaji, gave me some information as to where I might find Mother, even though they think it's an old Earth Kingdom folk tale. Or a new one. Whatever.
I'm looking into it.

As I write this, I'm heading for Gao Ling. I hope to speak to the people there to see if any new theater actresses showed up a few years ago. That's part of what they told me on Kyoshi Island. Someone went through there looking for work as an actress. Mom was an actress before Father married her.

The lady said that she told her to head for bigger cities, like Omashu, or Ba Sing Se. But Gao Ling was closer and has a port. So, I'm looking there first.

Then, I came across this village where I'd been when you and I were traveling separately. I found it burned to ashes, probably around two months ago. I think there may still be some groups of soldiers who haven't heard that the war is over yet, or maybe they went rogue and don't care. I aim to find out.

I found a little boy there. His name is Lee. I met him there when I was there last time. We were friends for a bit, until he found out I was a Firebender. None of them wanted me there after they found out. I had to blow my cover to help them deal with some rough bullies that were looting their town.

Now, they're all gone anyway...

But Uncle, he's the only survivor! His family is gone. He wasn't there when the village burned. I found him living in a cave on a mountain. It took forever to convince him to come with me, and he still wants nothing to with me. But there is a chance that his brother is still alive, so

I'm taking him to Ba Sing Se to see if we can find him.

He's a lot of work just to have around!

I don't know the first thing about kids! I mean, I guess he's Aang's age, more or less. But this kid is less mature than Aang was when we met him! I don't know how to deal with this! He pouts, and eats a lot, and whenever we stop anywhere, he's off climbing trees!

Uncle, I'm not really sure I know what I'm doing.

I know he needs to eat, excercise, sleep and stay clean, but he hates me, Uncle! I can't make him do anything! He stays close to me, but he won't talk to me, he stops to talk to almost every stranger on the road, he climbs trees, spooks the rhino (I've probably gotten thrown a half dozen times today alone!) and...Well, he just does what he wants, when he wants and doesn't really bother with me unless there's a chance of danger.

Help me, Uncle! I have no idea what I've gotten myself into! Have to go now. Was supposed to be setting up camp. And I should probably go try to find Lee. He's been gone a while now. Probably got distracted by something in the woods. And there are still Fire Nation citizens and soldiers around here.

What in the world do I do with this kid, Uncle?!

Your Nephew,

Zuko

A gust of wind blows in through the window, pushing the thin curtains aside and letting in even more light than before.

The late afternoon sun casts a golden hue on everything in the room, softening the deeper reds in the walls and floor.

Mai looks out the window, into the little garden that contains a fountain similar to the one Zuko had pushed her into when they were children.

She remembers when they had visited Ember Island, around six months ago.

She tries to imagine him looking after a kid only slightly older than they had been that day at the fountain. She can't really picture angsty Zuko, Fire Lord Zuko, or even ten year old Zuko with someone that age.

She realizes that other than her and Ty Lee, he'd never had any friends up until he'd joined the Avatar. And she and Ty Lee probably didn't really count.

She sighs and puts the paper down and sets a few empty inkwells on it to keep it from blowing away.

Yeah, Zuko definitely can't relate to that kid. And has no idea how to look after him as the older guy.

An odd mix of sadness and mirth bubbles up as she tries to imagine him making conversation with a kid who wants nothing to do with him.

"Is that a smile?" A voice asks. "Oh my goodness!" It gasps. "I think it is!"

She turns quickly to see Kei Lo leaning lazily against the door frame. Blushing a little bit, she swiftly replaces her tiny smile with a look of glowering indifference.

"Ah, come on, Sunshine." He steps into the room.

"If you call me that again, I'll pin you to the wall with my blades." She threatens.

"You have a nice smile. You should smile more often." He holds his hands up in a conciliatory gesture, but doesn't step back.
Mai just stares at him, trying to figure out her next move.

"Want to go grab some food with me? I know this awesome place just a few streets away. It's a nice afternoon for a walk." He offers.

"No, thank you." She says, crossing her arms. "What are you doing here? Didn't you say you had a lesson or something?"

"Yeah, I, uh, had my dates wrong. It's actually tomorrow." He seems to suddenly find the wall interesting. "Nice tapestry." He comments, pointing to a smaller one.
It depicts a little boy who's eyes seem to gaze across looping and intertwining lines, some of which seem to break before reaching their destination.

"I have no idea what it represents." Mai responds, dryly.

"Listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot." He steps a little closer to her, and she stands her ground.

"You think?!" She says coldly. "You asked me out, I said no. And now, you're flirting with me and asking me out again. And I'm saying no, again."

"Actually, you said, "maybe, no guarantees." " He makes quotation marks with his hands.

"I have a boyfriend. And I don't think you'll want to mess with him." She reaches in her sleeves for some of her blades. She keeps them hidden for now though.

"I know you were dating the Fire Lord. I heard you broke up with him. I'm friends with your cousin."

"It's complicated. And I don't want to make it more complicated." She huffs.

"Ok! Alright. I'll quit flirting! Will you stop being angry if I say I'm sorry?" He backs up until he reaches the door.

"I might." She replies.

"So, fruit tarts? As friends?" He asks in a hopeful tone.

"Fine. But I want to be back here in time for dinner. And we're not going to talk about my boyfriend." She snaps.

"Deal!" He falls into step beside her and they make their way down the street.

Chapter Text

"So, tell me about yourself, Mai." Kei Lo says, leaning back and snacking on a fruit tart.

"Not much to tell. I was born. Got bored as a kid, and taught myself how to throw knives. My classmate from the Royal Fire Academy for Girls was a crazy Princess. My only friend was an overly chipper acrobat. I betrayed the Princess for Zuko at a prison. Got thrown in jail. Zuko beat her in an Agni Kai. The Avatar won the War, and I got let out of jail. My boyfriend didn't take too long to start sneaking off to talk to his evil father and crazy sister. So I ditched him. Now, I'm here, talking to you and wondering why." She shrugs. A server comes by with their order and she takes a bite of fruit tart.

"I see. Sounds like your boring life turned out to be really interesting in the last few months." Kei Lo smiles at her.

She ignores the flutter in her heart.

"How about you?" She asks.

"I'm from the Colonies. My dad was a Firebender in the Fire Army, and my mother was an Earthbender." He replies.

"Was?"

"Well, they both died when I was kind of young. Some Earthbenders tried to "liberate" our colony. My mother died in the fighting, and my father died trying to get me to safety. The invaders thought he'd kidnapped me or something." He finds a bird sitting on the wall of the little outdoor courtyard interesting, all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry."

"It happens." He shrugs, seeming to snap out of a trance. "I bounced around a couple places. Worked at a traveling circus, then tried my hand working on merchant ships. Ships and I didn't really agree, so when a storm washed us up on Hira'a, I took that as a sign that I should maybe stay on dry land from then on."

Mai smiles a little at that.

"Wow! Three smiles in a day! You're making progress!" He exclaims.

She quickly replaces it with a glower, before letting it drift back into a neutral expression.

"Ah, come on! You're beautiful when you smile." He makes an over exaggerated smile. "See?"

Mai bursts out laughing, and smothers the sound with her hand. The result is decidedly undignified snorting.

"Alright. You win." She says, when she finally regains her breathe. "So, what do you do in the city?"

"Right now, General Iroh is seeing to my education. Before that, I was mostly just doing odd jobs. The man that was caring for me in Hira'a was sick, so I came here to look for medicine for him. The lady wanted to come, but she's too frail with age. And someone had to tend to him. He passed away not too long after I left though. Now, I just try to look out for myself and make sure she has a comfortable place to live. They pretty much adopted me when I showed up, and I even called them "Granddad and Grandmother", so I feel like I owe it to them both to help her now." A small breeze blows, warm and sweet, soft as a mother's touch, through the courtyard.

"Is she here with you now?" Mai asks. She takes a sip of tea to loosen her tightened throat.

"Yeah. General Iroh apparently knew her. They go way back. He arranged for safe and comfortable transportation for her to move here. She lives down by the ocean. Plenty of clean air there, if you stay away from the docks. She insists on cooking for us most nights, although I have learned a bit of cooking for days when she's too tired. I work in the shipping warehouses down by the docks. A bit boring, and tiring, but it pays the bills and keeps me off the ships. And when I'm not working, I'm usually studying with the tutors that General Iroh has hired for me." He finally begins to eat his fruit tart.

"How did you meet General Iroh?"

"I sorta just stumbled across him one day. Literally. He was sitting in a chair at an antique store up the road, trying it out, or something. I was chasing down some escaped merchandise, and wasn't looking where I was going. He helped me catch the animals and said I looked a bit young to be working and asked if I was in school."

Mai is surprised to find she isn't disgusted by him talking with his mouth full.

"So, how about you? What do you do now?" He asks.

"I work in my aunt's flower shop, and sometimes help General Iroh with decorating the Palace. He wants to give it "new life", or something like that. Other than that, I'm just sort of waiting for something happen, I guess."

"Something is definitely going to happen. And soon." He says, suddenly very serious.

"Oh? What would that be?"

"I heard that someone in the New Ozai Society is scouting for someone to negotiate with Princess Azula. And they already have clearance to get in to see her." He lowers his voice. "They are planning to take over the Palace as soon as they can get Princess Azula on board. It could be a day, a week. A year. I don't know. But they definitely aren't just a random rebel group anymore. They're organized enough to get access to a mental institution. And I know they have connections in the Palace. I'm not sure where. But I know they are a lot more powerful than we originally thought."

"Why are you telling me all this? Shouldn't you be letting General Iroh know?" Mai asks, narrowing her eyes.

"Let's go for a walk. It's not safe here." He says, looking around. There are two men watching them from across the courtyard. One sits at a table with his family, one sits alone in a corner of the room.

Both seem to recognize Kei Lo. He smiles and waves to them.

"Come on." He pulls Mai up and walks towards the man with his family.

"Kei Lo! It's good to see you! And who's this? You have a lady friend?" The man says, smiling towards Mai.

"Yes. This is Mai. Mai, meet Osore. He's a friend of my grandmother's."

Mai bows politely, betraying none of her confusion or fear.

"Haven't I seen you before?" Osore asks. "Weren't you the Prince's girlfriend?"

She doesn't miss how he refers to Zuko as "the Prince", instead of "the Firelord".

"At one point. I broke up with him." She doesn't volunteer details, and she can tell that she needs to play along with the situation.

"You left a Prince for this ugly dock scum?" Osore ruffles Kei Lo's hair, somewhat affectionately. "You must be crazy."

"Not at all." She replies evenly. "Kei Lo is pretty cute. And he's an absolute sweetheart." She leans against Kei Lo and stares lovingly into his eyes.

"You're a lucky man, Kei Lo. You take good care of this beauty." Osore laughs.

"Will do, sir!" Kei Lo chirps.

The other man just glowers at them as they walk past. He taps his head in a sort of "use your brain" gesture to Kei Lo, but Mai can't figure out if that's what he means or if it translates to something else. Kei Lo nods to the man.

As soon as they put a block or two between them and the place, Mai shoves herself away from Kei Lo.

"I'm never doing that again." She says, flatly.

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad." He smiles at her.

"I want answers. Now."

"Soon. Let's wander around for a bit."

"No! I want to go back to the Palace!"

"Not safe for conversation there! Remember?" He raises his eyebrows pointedly at her.

She rolls her eyes and follows him.

After wandering around for an hour or two, he finally slows down and angles them into an abandoned building on the outskirts of the city.

"So, what's the deal, Kei Lo? Why were you telling me about all this? How do you know those two guys? Why did you want them to think I was your girlfriend so much?" Mai demands.

He sits them down underneath a dilapidated stairway and speaks in a very low whisper.

"You're a smart girl, Mai. I think you can figure out that I'm one of them. One of the New Ozai Society. But I'm not on their side, let me explain!" He holds up a hand to silence her when she opens her mouth to protest.

"Do it quickly!" She growls.

"When I first came here, when Grandfather passed away, I was alone. My grandmother couldn't come right away. She fell ill shortly after... Anyway, I was having a hard time finding food and work. Ozai was still on the throne, but the Day of Black Sun showed that there were sizeable groups of people who wanted to oppose him. They failed, and he seemed invincible. Especially since the Avatar had been with them and they had still lost.

But when the Prince joined the Avatar, when a Combustion Bender was killed in action, they realized Ozai was going to be overthrown and that the war would end. Many of them had prestigious positions within the higher ranks of the military. The air force was being created. Some of them were eyeing government positions in the Earth Kingdom.

If the war ended, they would all be tried for crimes against humanity, and most of them would also be charged with conspiracy, since they would be overthrowing local governments. None of them wanted to go to prison. Half of them got themselves demoted so they couldn't be held accountable, the other half retired. The war ended, the inexperienced people that had been promoted to their positions had been charged with those crimes, and the officers walked away.

They've rallied several people in the military, civilians, even some groups in the Colonies and Ba Sing Se to their cause. I joined them because I wanted some sort of security for myself and my grandmother. And to be a part of something bigger than myself. I guess I didn't really have an opinion of the War at the time. Now, I would do anything to get out of it. But they always find something to tie you to them. They watch where I live, they follow Grandmother. They watch where I work, who I talk to."

He shakes his head and runs his trembling hands through his hair.

"I can't get away from them, but I thought I could talk to General Iroh, to warn him about what they're up to. That's why I was there at the Palace today. To warn him. I thought that maybe I could be a sort of double agent, even if I can't get out of the Society. But when I got back to the compound today, the leader pulled me aside. That's when I found out that there are secret passages in the walls of the Palace. And just how far the infiltration went."

"What does any of this have to do with me?" Mai asks, worried. She hugs her knees.

"The worst part. The leader of this group...Mai, it's your father." Kei Lo looks at her again at last, his eyes full of sympathy.

"What?!" She feels like ice water has been thrown into her stomach and chest.

"Shh!" He admonishes. He peeks his head out from under the stairs and glances toward the door. He takes a spyglass from his pocket and stretches it out, then creeps towards the door. When he sees nothing through it's lens, he walks up the creaky old stairs.

Dust drifts down over Mai as she listens to him stepping around carefully on the second floor.

When he returns a moment later, his face is white as a ghost in the dying daylight.

"Be quiet. I can't see anything, and nobody is here in the building, but that doesn't mean they don't know we're here. In fact, I'm sure that someone is probably on their way to check up on us. So, keep it down, and let's do this fast." He says.

"Fine. So, my father is the leader. Why are you getting me involved?" She asks. She takes a blade from her sleeve and keeps her eyes in the direction of the door.

"Because you broke up with Fire Lord Zuko. Your father wants you on our side so that you'll be safe when Ozai is back in power. Actually, he was going to find a way to break you two up, but you took care of that part for him. He wanted me to convince you to join the group. That was supposed to be the point of our meeting today. I was going to pretend to fall in love with you, to sympathize with you about how mean the Fire Lord had been to you. When it seemed like you reciprocated, I was going to bring you into the meeting tonight, and your father was going to explain everything to you." Kei Lo is pointedly avoiding her eyes, staring at the ground.

"What made you change your mind?" Mai asks.

"Well, first, because I'm not on their side anymore, not when they threatened my grandmother. I want to help General Iroh as much as possible until Fire Lord Zuko comes back. Second, I want you to be safe, and I know the Avatar will get involved when things start to happen. Third, I guess I wasn't really pretending to fall for you." He smiles softly, eyes still directed firmly to the floor.

Mai isn't sure what to do. A swirl of emotions stirs in her thoughts. She's absolutely terrified of the New Ozai Society, how they are all around but she can't see them. Disgust, knowing that her father is a part of them. Anger too. She feels terrible for Kei Lo and the position he finds himself in, and the butterflies come when she looks at him again.

When she hears fast approaching footsteps, she does the only thing that makes sense to save them.

She reaches to bring Kei Lo's face to hers.

And kisses him.

He doesn't move at first, perhaps stunned by this unexpected event, but quickly starts to kiss her back.

"Well, what have we here?! Kei Lo! Didn't they teach you manners in those Colonies?!" A man guffaws.

They break off their kiss and look up at him, blushing profusely.

"What's going on here?" Mai hears her father's voice.

"Looks like you have yourself a scandal here, sir. Your daughter's kissin' Colony scum!" The man says.

"Mai." He commands, his voice quiet. "Come over here."

She obeys automatically, all her emotion from before gone, locked away in a cold, bottomless abyss.

"I see that you've met Kei Lo." He says. She nods.

"We were wondering why you weren't at the meeting tonight. Makes perfect sense." The man chuckles.

"Oughta have expected a little bit of silliness from a teenager."

"I was going to bring her." Kei Lo starts, but the man holds up his hand.

"No harm done, Kei Lo." Mai's father says. "I assume he filled you in on what's happening, Mai?"

"Yes, he did." She says.

"I can understand if you're upset, scared, or have questions. I'd be more than happy to answer them." He offers. He hands her a shawl to stay warm in the cooling air.

"No, Father. I understand what's expected of me." She says, keeping her face and voice as blank as an empty sheet of paper.

"Excellent. Let's go back home, and we'll discuss the details." He steers her towards the door. She looks back at Kei Lo.

He smiles and waves to her.

"Don't worry, Mai. I'll see you tomorrow." He says.

-0o0-o0o-0o0-

"Have a seat." He tells her when they arrive home. She sits ramrod straight, her hands laying across her lap, eyes ahead, lips silent, as she'd been taught.

Father hands her a glass of water. She takes a small sip to be polite.

"Now, Mai, surely you have some questions for me." Father says.

"Will I be allowed back at the Palace? I can inform you of General Iroh's movements." She asks.

"And here I thought your first question would be if you'd be allowed to continue seeing Kei Lo." His eyebrows go up in surprise.

"That would have been the second question." She deadpans.

"The answer to both questions is yes. And while I'm not too fond of the idea of you marrying low, I think that my part in getting Ozai back on the throne is sufficient to solidify my position when we resume the war. You have my permission to continue your relationship, for now." He sits beside her and takes a steaming cup of tea for himself from a tray.

"You will be permitted back into the Palace to inform on General Iroh and any relevant meetings or members of the staff. However, you do have a history of choosing the wrong side for just the person we are trying to get rid of. So, you will be watched closely by Kei Lo, who has already proven himself. And you should be informed that you will no longer hold your position at the flower shop. There will be agents there, watching your aunt's every move. If you step even slightly out of line, I don't think I need to warn you of that consequence. Your mother is, likewise, being watched and isn't to know of these operations."

"I understand. But," She pauses, unsure if she will jeopardize anyone by asking just the wrong question.

"But? What?"

"If you're the leader of this group, why do we have to worry about our family? Why would you put Mother in danger?" Mai asks.

Her father laughs, loud and long.

"Mai, I'm not putting your mother into any danger! I certainly don't intend to desert the cause I've been working so hard for! And I know you don't want any harm to come to your aunt, mother, or Tom Tom. Do you?"

"No Father."

"Then there is no danger! You see? Just do as you're told, and all will turn out fine." He sets his teacup down.

"But what if something made you change your mind?" She asks.

"Now, that is an interesting question to ask. Are you having second thoughts so soon, Mai? Any trace of remaining allegiance to Prince Zuko, perhaps?" He stares closely at her.

"No, Father." She isn't sure why it feels like a lie. She decides quickly that it's because she isn't allegiant to this movement either. "I'm just curious as to why even the leader would need to be watched so closely to be held so accountable. Isn't it a leader's divine right to rule?"

"Only in the case of the Royal Family, my dear. A leader outside of that only has a right to lead so long as he doesn't desert the cause he leads for. And people change. It's necessary to have some sort of leverage, just in case."

"That sounds like something Azula would say." Mai mutters.

"Yes, she might. We are waiting for the right person to come in and speak with the Princess. Once she agrees to work with us, we'll have more information on how this coup will happen."

"Will I be expected to work with her directly?"

"It's possible, but I'd think not. Word is that she still isn't too happy with you after you betrayed her at the Boiling Rock."

"I suppose those are all the questions that I have for now, Father. When will I return to the Palace?"

"Tomorrow. You'll sit in on any meetings, and report back your findings. We are most interested in what will become of the Colonies. And anything you can find about Ozai's current state." He pats her shoulder, like he had when she was very young.

"I know you will not disappoint me again, Mai."

-0o0-o0o-0o0-

"Class, I'd like you to turn your attention to Princess Azula, as she demonstrates our next form." Teacher Asuri said.

The Princess went through a highly skilled demonstration that Mai thought she wouldn't be able to master for at least a year.

It's not like it really mattered anyway. Neither of her parents were Firebenders, although one of her grandfathers had been. It was very unlikely that she would ever Firebend.

Still, it would help her father's prestige if she developed the ability, so they were always going to keep making her get up early for the Firebending classes at school.

There were two other nonBenders in this class. One was a short, pretty girl that must have had some distant colonial blood, given the coarseness of her hair and slightly less sharp features. The other was Ty Lee, a strange and overly chipper girl with an annoyingly positive outlook on life.

When the Princess had finished her form, Teacher Asuri began to instruct them on the correct stance for the first movement.

"No, Asuri, you're doing it wrong." Princess Azula shouted. "You do it like this."

Mai couldn't really tell the difference between what Azula was doing and Teacher Asuri. It wasn't even a very complicated stance.

Teacher Asuri played along anyway though. She adjusted her feet when directed to do so, changed her hand position, and ended up standing in a sort of stiff, unbalanced way.

Azula walked over to her other side and gave her a firm shove and she toppled right over.

"You really shouldn't be so mean to the teacher, Princess." A girl spoke up.

"Who said that?" Azula whipped around, looking at her assembly in a terrifying manner.

The girl stepped forward, unafraid. She looked younger than the Princess by about a year or two. It was the maybe colonial girl.

"Can you Firebend yet?" Azula sneered.

"No, Princess, I can't." The girl announced, not looking the least bit ashamed, unlike quite a few others in the classes behind them who had no Firebending ability yet.

"Then an Agni Kai is out of the question. Too bad." She shrugged. "It's been a while since I got to kill something."

She walked over to the girl. Mai absolutely envied the girl's bravery. Or stupidity. Whatever it was that kept her so still and stonefaced.

"Still," The Princess commented, tapping her chin. "You can't go unpunished for speaking out against royalty."

In a blink, the girl had flown across the room and hit the wall. Her clothes were on fire and she started to roll to put it out.

Princess Azula walked over and put her foot on girl's chest to keep her from moving.

"Let the burn remind you who is in charge here. Who lets you live? Me. Who teaches you? Me. Who can kill you without a second thought and nobody would lift a finger to save you? Me." She told the struggling girl.

Tears streamed down the girl's face, and she writhed under Princess Azula's foot. But her defiant glare did not waver.

"Princess, if I may?" Teacher Asuri's voice betrayed her distress.

"You may not. Remain where you are." She lifted her foot and the girl took off, heading for the infirmary, her clothes still smoldering.

"Anyone else want to question me?" The Princess asked, looking around.

Everyone shrank back as far as they could and shook their heads.

"Good. I think it only fit that I be the one to teach today's class."

So they had to watch Princess Azula show off all day. Nobody got to try anything for themselves, unless she wanted to make an example of their inherent inferiority.

When it was all over, Mai was glad to get back home, where the only excitement she could look forward to was homework from her other classes and an early bedtime.

"Mai! You'll never believe it! You'll just never believe it." Mother exclaimed as she walked through the door. Her voice was quiet, as was expected, but shivered with excitement.

Mai looked up and acknowledged her.

"Your father has received a commission in the Palace Guard. You'll get to be friends with the Royal Children as part of the contract! Isn't that amazing?! Oh Mai, maybe you'll even be chosen to marry Prince Zuko! Imagine that, dear. Married to a Prince! Just like in the fairy tales I used to tell you!"

She really didn't want to ruin Mother's excitement. But Mother hadn't seen the Princess in all her cruel action.

"Mother, may I please just go to my room? I have some homework to do." She tried to keep the emotion out of her voice, as she'd been taught, but some of it slipped through.

"You won't have to worry about homework anymore, dear. If your grades aren't high enough, I'm sure you can get an official pardon by the Royal Family. You're clearly so intelligent. All you have to do is go to the Palace after school everyday and have fun." Mother pulled her close and handed her a fruit tart.

"But Mother, I don't want to go the Palace. I'm tired after school everyday. And Princess Azula doesn't seem very nice to be around. She made fun of our Firebending teacher today for no reason at all!" Mai took a bite out of the fruit tart, trying to enjoy the rare treat, even though she was angry and afraid.

"Mai! You shouldn't say things like that! It's not polite! And we have your father's political"

"Career to think about. I know." Mai finished for her.

"Mai! It's not polite to interrupt. Do you need extra time with your manners tutor?"

Mai shook her head. She hated the woman with a passion.

"That's my girl. Just go along with it for now. It probably won't be forever."

Mai very much doubted that. The girl from that day's class hadn't come back from the infirmary.

Once the Princess had her claws in you, it wasn't possible to get away again.

And why in the world would she want to marry a Prince? Then, she'd be stuck in the Palace and never get outside again. Ever.

It seemed a very boring and stupid thing to do.

Chapter Text

When they reach Chin Village, Zuko leaves Rina just outside it's limits to avoid raising any alarm.

Lee, who has been stubbornly walking all day, leans over, pants, and flops himself onto the ground and groans.

"Get up!" Zuko orders. "Help carry some of our stuff. You'll get a bed and food soon." He tosses the lighter of his two saddlebags towards Lee.

"I said I'd go with you. I didn't say anything about helping you carry your stuff." Lee retorts. He picks up the saddlebag anyway.

"If you have enough energy to argue, you have enough energy to carry your own stuff. Everything in that pack there, " Zuko nods towards the bag in Lee's hands, "is yours. All my stuff is in this bag."

Lee opens it and briefly looks over it's contents to be sure.

"Fine." He grumbles, not bothering to dig around to check further.

A man approaches them as they get closer to the village. He has a rather pitiful looking wooden shield in one hand and a good sized pitchfork in the other.

"Stay where you are, Smoker." The man shouts.

"I'm just here to buy supplies." Zuko puts down his bag and gently removes Lee's and sets it down next to his. He raises his arms. "I'm unarmed."

"We don't deal in Fire Nation currency here." The man's tone is slightly less aggressive, now that Zuko appears less of a threat, but remains firm.

"I may have some Earth Currency left. If not, I'm willing to work for supplies." Zuko tries again.

"Let me be more clear: We don't do business with demons from the evil side of the Spirit World." The man thrusts his pitchfork threateningly.

"The war is over." Zuko's arms are burning now.

"I know that. Chin Village is still closed to your kind, Cinder."

"I'm the Fire Lord now. If there is anything your village requires, I can get it for you. My name is Zuko. I've trained Avatar Aang. He put an end to the war. I have my Uncle negotiating with other nations for peace and reparations." He notices Lee watching out of the corner of his eye. The boy is thoroughly enjoying Zuko's present discomfort.

"We want nothing to do with your "peace and reparation". We stayed out of the war for the most part, and we want no part of it now that it's over." He walks up and pokes Zuko in the stomach with the pitchfork. "If I have to tell you to leave again, it'll be by spilling your lunch all over the ground for your little brother to see." He threatens.

"He's not my brother!" Lee shouts, outraged. "The only reason that I'm with him is that some Fire Nation soldiers burned my village down! He won't leave me to find my brother by myself! I don't want anything to do with him! I'm an Earth Kingdom citizen! And I'm starving to death! My parents are dead, and I have no idea where my brother is!"

"Lee, be quiet!" Zuko orders. Lee glares at the dirt, biting his lip to keep from saying anything else. His eyes water, but he blinks a few times and the tears are gone before they fall.

"Is that true?" The man asks, backing up just enough to get the business end of the pitchfork off Zuko's stomach.

"Yes. Lee's village had been burned at least a month before I got there, maybe more. His family is dead, except for his brother, who may have been in Ba Sing Se. I'm helping him to look for him. He's been on his own in the mountains for at least a month." Zuko lowers his aching arms and straightens himself. "If you won't supply me, that's fine. I'll go somewhere else. But get him some food. And a bath. Some new clothes, and a place to sleep for the night. I'll pay with whatever Earth Kingdom currency I have, and if I don't have enough, I'm prepared to work for whatever is owed. I'm responsible for him until we can find his brother."

"What do you think, young man?" The man lowers the pitchfork and turns towards Lee.

"I'm hungry. And tired. Do what you want with him. If anyone else in your village is going to Ba Sing Se, I'd like to travel with them." Lee says. His tone is more cooperative, almost nonchalant. But he keeps his arms crossed and doesn't meet the man's eyes.

"I'll take the matter to our mayor. Stay here until I come back. And don't get any ideas. We have enough of a standing force to take down a lone Firebender, and we aren't afraid to try." He heads back towards the village.

Zuko sits down and prepares to wait. Lee sits down nearby, but still an exaggerated distance away.

The afternoon sun beats down on them.

"How long do you think it'll be?" Lee asks, yawning.

"I don't know."

"I'm hot." He complains.

"So am I."

"But you're a Firebender. You can handle the heat. I can't."

"Firebenders can burn and get overheated too. How do you think I got this?" Zuko points to his scar. "Dehydration is actually a huge problem for some kids when they first start their Firebending classes."

Lee spreads himself out on the ground.

"That won't help, you know. You should lay on your side. The sun won't hit as much of you at the same time. And you might be able to shade yourself a little." Zuko offers. He's actually not sure it'll work, but it's the only idea he has so far.

Lee stubbornly remains the way he is and lets out a groan.

"Don't say I didn't try to help." Zuko says, opening his waterskin and taking a sip of the dwindling supply.

"Can I have some? I finished mine an hour ago." Lee suddenly perks up enough to drag himself over to the older boy.

Zuko sighs. "Here."

Lee gulps the rest of it down and lets out a burp. He rolls over on his back and groans at the sky.

Zuko sighs and rolls his eyes. He happens to spot his sleeping bag on Rina's back where he left her.

"I'll be right back. Stay here." He sprints over to the rhino, grabs his saddlebag and dashes back over.

"What are you doing?!" Lee protests, as Zuko opens it up and spreads it over him.

"Giving you shade. Deal with it."

"Hmph." Lee rolls over on his side and ignores him.

Zuko stands for several minutes holding that awful heavy sleeping bag. His arms start to shake, and he's sweating both from the heat and his sprint to the rhino and back.

After what seems to be an eternity, the man comes back. This time, another man, short and skinny, with a funny looking hat, is with him.

"I am Mayor Tong." The new man said. "You may enter our village after being searched for weapons of any kind. We will provide food, some new clothes, and shelter for the boy. You will work for his supplies. You will have to find your own somewhere else. We will inspect his supplies once he has chosen everything that he thinks he'll need. We will decide the amount of labor owed to us at that point."

"I understand." Zuko bows respectfully.

The mayor studies him for a moment. He beckons them to follow.

Lee seems to have suddenly acquired all the energy in the world, running ahead to see whatever there was to see. There is a note of weary heaviness to his movements, even as he goes to jump over a small line of hedges next to the road.

"Be careful, Lee."

Lee ignores him.

-0o0-o0o-0o0-

Mayor Tong leaves to conduct whatever business he does, and the man who'd first apprehended them shows them to a tiny, one room building. It looks to be an old storage shed. There is a small barn next to it, filled with chicken rabbits. In front of the two tiny buildings is a good sized house.

"Feng and his wife Xue live there with their daughter. They have graciously offered you these accommodations. Treat these buildings as though they were your Palace, Fire Lord Zuko." The man's tone is snide, and he bows with a mocking grin.

Lee laughs and the man smiles at him kindly.

"You run into any trouble with this Ashmaker, you come and get me, Lee. I live over there." The man points to a small house just across the street.

When the man leaves, Lee goes over to the little building to explore. Zuko follows him to make sure he gets settled in properly.

There is a small table with pitcher and large bowl on the left and a little bed made up. Both of the furniture pieces look like they've seen better days.

Lee doesn't seem to care. As quickly as his energy had appeared upon getting into town earlier, it disappears. He flops himself down on the bed, closes his eyes, and starts to sleep.

Zuko carefully moves Lee's saddlebag from his hand and places it in the small space between the wall and the washbin table.

Then, he takes the pitcher and looks around for a well.

"Hey, Fire Man, it's over there." A young lady's voice says, kindly.

He turns around to where she's pointing and sees it in plain sight no more than thirty feet away.

"Thanks." He says, starting off in that direction. She follows him.

"My name is Hua. I'm Feng and Xue's daughter." She says.

"That's nice." Is all he can think to say.

"What's your name?"

"I thought you already knew." He lowers the bucket into the well and starts reeling it back up.

"I knew you'd be coming to stay with us. I don't know who you are." She shrugs.

"My name is Zuko." He hesitates. "My father isn't really worth mentioning anymore, and I'm still looking for my mother. But her name is Ursa."

"Are you really the Fire Lord?" She holds up the pitcher for him to pour water into.

"Yes. I am."

"And you'll be working for us as a commoner?" She hands him the pitcher once it's full.

"It's not like I haven't done this before. My Uncle owns a tea shop in Ba Sing Se. We were hiding there when we were exiled for a while during the war."

"You were the Banished Prince?!" Her tone is incredulous.

"Yes. My father only had one son and one daughter." He still wondered how even the most remote places in the Earth Kingdom knew about his banishment, but how some still didn't know the war had ended.

"I see." She seems slightly ashamed of herself. "And now, you're the Fire Lord. How did that happen?"

"It's complicated. But I had help from the Avatar."

The conversation pauses as he goes back inside the storage shed and puts the pitcher on the table. A little snore pulls his gaze over to Lee, sleeping with his mouth wide open, his neck bent at an odd angle, one skin and bone leg dangling off the bed, and an arm just as skinny twisted behind his back.

He gently maneuvers him into a better position, although it's still too warm in the shed to consider pulling the blanket over him. The snoring stops, and even breaths take it's place.

When he turns around, Hua is watching him from the open door.

"Why would the Fire Lord care about a starving orphan Earth Kingdom boy?" She asks, once he's out and they're away from the door.

"I visited his village once. His family gave me food and shelter in exchange for a day's work. They didn't know I was Fire Nation. Not at first. When I went back there a few days ago, the village was burned. It could be rogue soldiers who want my father back on the throne. They may be trying to incite renewed hostilities. There are a lot of Fire Nation colonies just west of there. Lee wouldn't have been safe. I owe it to his family to look out for him." Zuko glances once more at the shed.

"He said he was looking for his brother. Do you think you'll find him?"

"Honestly?" He turns to face her and they move away from the shed, towards the chicken rabbit barn."No. He said his brother was at Ba Sing Se. He's probably dead now. But I can't tell Lee that. I'll just have to look out for him until I can find someone who wants him, or until he can look out for himself."

"I should probably get going. My mom wants help with dinner. A bunch of family friends are coming over tonight. I'd invite you too, but..." She stares at the ground.

"I wouldn't really be welcome." He finishes for her.

"My parents wouldn't mind. Honestly, they wouldn't! It's just the others here are, well, uncomfortable with the idea of a Firebender being here."

"Why are you alright with it? And your parents?"

"We were originally from a Fire Nation colony. It was called Yu Dao. We left because the taxes were getting higher for the war effort, but it was home, and the Fire soldiers were our protectors. I'm not saying that we're for what the Fire Nation did. But I don't think all of you are evil. I grew up with kids from the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation. Some of the soldiers were Earthbenders. It didn't seem all that strange until we left and I saw everything the Fire Nation had done to the rest of the Earth Kingdom. And then I thought of the high taxes for the Fire Nation's side of the conflict. And while it didn't seem right, it didn't seem wrong. The culture in Yu Dao and some of the older Colonies was different from both countries. It was it's own. We owed taxes to the Fire Nation, but our land was Earth kingdom. We were the subjects of Fire soldiers, but some of them were Earthbenders."

"I see. So, you don't think if we pulled everyone out with Fire Nation blood that anyone would be happy?"

"I don't think so. At least not in Yu Dao. I suppose some of the newer Colonies would agree to it. I've heard some pretty awful stories about what was done to subjugate Yu Dao in the early days. The other Colonies are probably going through that now. And it would be best for that to stop. But it's already been done in Yu Dao. It can't be undone."

"I see." Zuko makes a mental note to visit Yu Dao at some point.

"I should go. Have a great day. And maybe we'll have you and Lee over for dinner sometime." She walks away towards the house.

Zuko turns and walks into the chicken rabbit shed. The coop with it's spacious nests is on his right, some tools for cleaning the coop and some bags of animal feed lean up against the wall in front of him. And to his left, three hard bales of straw, one cut open and slightly used.

The stench is unbearable.

He sighs. I guess this is why that guy seemed so proud of himself.

Chapter Text

When Lee wakes up, he leaves his eyes shut for a few moments, getting a feel for his situation. The sun lights the inside of his eyelids bright orange. The door to the garden shed is still open, letting in some breeze, but it's still a bit hot out. A light sweat covers him, and he's still achy from the six hour walk. His stomach rumbles to let him know it's dinner time.

He opens his eyes and looks around the shed. He finds his saddle bag by the wash table. He ignores his aching limbs as he gets up to walk over to the bowl and pitcher to see if anyone left him water. His throat feels absolutely parched.

He gulps down the lukewarm water in the pitcher, then goes outside to find the Firebender.

"Lee? Good to see you up again, boy! Are you hungry?" The man that had greeted them at the entrance to the village calls to him from across the street.

"Yes sir. Do you know where Cinderman went?" He asks, taking the chunk of bread the man offers him.

"I think he's starting his work on the far side of town. They have him cleaning out the shrine over there." The man points. Then, he squints at Lee. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"I used to come here with my father every fall to drop off my brother, Sensu, for school. He only stayed in class until the middle of winter though. Dad never let me go along to bring him home because it was too cold. Or so he said." Lee responds.

"Sensu! I remember him! Such an intelligent boy! I always wondered why in the world he was made to study here instead of some university in Omashu or Ba Sing Se. The boy could have gotten free tuition with that intellect! My uncle could never match him in a debate. Never!" He laughs, and he gets a distant look in his eyes that makes Lee a little sad for some reason.

"Your uncle was my brother's teacher?" Lee asks, surprised.

"That he was. I'm sure he'd have gone with you to try to help you find him, but he passed away a few months ago." The distant look grows in the man's eyes.

"I don't think I got your name, Mister." Lee interjects, trying to make the man forget about his uncle for a bit. It's making him sad to see this man be sad.

"Feihong. It's a pleasure to meet you, Lee." Feihong bows and Lee returns it as best he can.
As he walks through the street, people wave to him and some kids run up and invite him to play with them.

"Maybe later. I think we'll be here for a few days. I need to get some food now, though." He replies.

"You can come over to my house! My mom always makes too much food. Please, come over and visit!"

A girl around his age pleas.

"We're all going over there in a bit. Come with us." One of the boys adds.

Lee's stomach doesn't give him an opportunity to think twice. He runs with them and they start a spirited game of hide and tag.

It's game he's familiar with. Sensu had taught him and his friends years ago. He'd probably learned it here.

It was like hide and seek, except that if you were found, you had to be tagged to be "out". The person trying to tag you also had to keep a look out for the people he was trying to find, because someone could come from their hiding spot and tag him and he'd lose the game. It was always interesting when more than one person was found at a time, and remained untagged. Hardly anyone who was "it" ever managed to win. Which is why anyone who did was considered legendary in the ranks of the kids in the village.

Lee had never tried to play it with so many kids before!

He can't run as fast or for as long as they can, but he is smart about hiding and changing his hiding place. Nobody finds him, and he's managed to rescue tag "it" twice, resulting in two restarts of the game.

"My older brother says Sensu used to do that all the time." One of the older boys says. "Moving between hiding places, I mean. It's cool how good you are at it. You're really stealthy."

"I always just thought that's how the game was played." Lee smiles and shrugs.

"You can play it that way, it's just that usually people get caught. And not too many people do it because it's too risky. Your brother was probably the best there ever was at it. I don't think he ever lost a game as "it", come to think of it."

"Really?"

Before the boy can answer, a woman calls from the door of the nearest house. The kids all start barrelling towards it and Lee is caught up in the wave of movement.

When they are all seated around the large table and the food served, the mother of the girl who'd invited him to play looks over at him curiously.

"Where are you from, Lee?" She asks kindly.

"From a village up in the mountains. It got burned down. I don't know who did it, but it was probably Fire Nation soldiers." He says. Suddenly, he isn't hungry anymore.

"I'm so sorry! What are you doing traveling with the Firebender then? Why not stay here with us? I have an extra room upstairs that isn't being used." She passes a bowl of corn around. "And you can go to school and learn a trade." She gets up and comes around the table to refill the children's glasses with juice and water. "What do you like to do for fun? Sometimes, we'll go to Gao Ling for a theater night. Have you ever seen a play, Lee?"

"I can't stay. I have to find my brother. He's in Ba Sing Se. The Firebender is going to take me there. He's looking for someone too. And we have to go to Gao Ling anyway to see a friend of mine. He said me and the Firebender have to cooperate. I don't trust Cinderman, but I trust Weilai." He guzzles down some juice to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Weilai? That creepy kid with the funny eyes?" One boy asks.

"He doesn't have funny eyes." Lee retorts.

"Yeah, he does! They look like they light up sometimes. Just a little bit, but still. You can't say it isn't weird. And I don't think anyone else goes on and on about the future like he does." The boy argues.

"He can see the future. And I trust him. He even took me into the Spirit World a few days ago." Lee's voice raises a little.

"But you said he was in Gao Ling. And if you came from Sensu's village, that's the other direction." A girl across the table points out.

"Well, maybe he brought the Spirit World to me. All I know is that I couldn't get out until I found the Firebender. And I think that was the point. I trust Weilai. He said to stay with the jerk, and to get to Gao Ling." Lee shrugs. "I can't say that I know why. But I trust Weilai. He was right about the Fire Lady."

A collective gasp rises from the table.

"That's how that myth started, isn't it?" A short, stout kid across the table from Lee asks. "Weilai told it. Then, people wrote it down."

"I don't really know. All I know is that Cinderman is looking for his mom. Who was banished from the Fire Nation. And may have been an actor before that. Or something. Anyway, it's real!" Lee insists.

"Maybe I'll even get to see an Air Temple if I travel with him! Or even meet the Avatar."

"You missed the Avatar by months!" One of the older girls giggles at the chance to one up him. "He was here in Chin Village and had to stand trial for the murder of our first leader in one of his past lives. The past life came out to say what she did and why she did it. But he defended us from a group of Fire Nation Raiders, so now our shrine for Chin is being converted to a shrine for the last four Avatars."

"Oh. That's cool." Suddenly, his adventure seems far more tiresome and not as, well, adventurous.

"So, why don't you just stay here? We can get a search party together for your brother. And you can be keeper of the Avatar Shrine. If he ever comes to visit again, you'll get to meet him!" She insists.

"Maybe." He knows they're right: he shouldn't be traveling with one of the enemy. And it isn't that he wants to travel with Cinderman. But Weilai said to stick with him. His stomach twists up a little. "Can I be excused?"

"Of course. Are you feeling alright?" The lady asks.

"I'm just really tired. Thanks for dinner." He replies.

The chill of fall greets him when he opens the door. The sun has set now, and the stars are coming out a few at a time. The days of late summer in the Earth Kingdom are always followed by the reminder that autumn is close by once it's dark outside. He's grateful that it's warmer here than in the mountains though. The air is chilly, but it doesn't make him shiver.

He wanders aimlessly for a little while, eventually coming to stop by the Avatar Shrine on the cliffs.

He dangles his feet over the cliffside, watching the water rolling in waves up to the rocks far below. He listens to it's roar and takes a deep breathe of night air.

"Are you alright?" Cinderman asks, sitting beside him.

"You stink!" Lee splutters at the odor of chicken rabbit manure that wafts over from where the Firebender is sitting.

"Thanks. You look as bad as I smell." He replies, nonchalantly. "I think we both need a bath." He says, when Lee doesn't offer a response.

"I'll take a bath when I want to. You can't make me!" Lee challenges, in a voice that doesn't hold much bite.

"No, I guess I can't." Lee has no idea why the guy next to him finds his comment funny.

"Why are you here?" Lee asks, irritated by the older boy's presence.

"I was finishing up the shrine for the day and noticed you over here. What's got you down?"
Lee pulls his knees up to his chest.

"They keep telling me that I should stay here and they'll help me look for Sensu." He says.

"Why is that a problem? I thought you hated me."

"I do hate you. A lot." Lee feels his temper start to simmer. "But Weilai said our paths are stuck together for a while. And I trust Weilai. He's connected to Spirits somehow. Good ones, I mean. And if he says I should stay with you, then I probably should."

"You really believe you saw your friend? You'll really choose to stick with me, even though you hate me, because someone in a dream told you to?" The emotion in the guy's voice isn't readable. Lee can't tell what he's thinking, but it sure doesn't seem like anything good.

"Yes." He can't think of any other way to respond.

"It sounds like you've already made up your mind. So, why are you sulking out here?" Lee can feel his gaze on him.

"Because I really want to stay here. I hate you. And Sensu used to come to school here. Everybody knows him. When I was playing with everyone, it reminded me of him. And it was like he was right here with me. And they said they'd help me find him." His body feels heavy and he hugs his legs harder.

"You seemed really happy when you were playing with those kids earlier. Like you belonged with them." Lee can't tell if the guy is trying to help or make things worse.

"I was happy alright! It's called "having fun"! You should try it sometime!" Lee shouts.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes without explanation.

Lee sulks for a minute.

"So, you don't know what you're going to choose?" Again, some unreadable emotion infiltrates the older guy's voice.

"I know I'm going with you." Lee says, after a pause. "It's just... I just..." He thinks for a minute about whether or not to say what he's thinking.

"It hurts. Giving up this bit of your brother that you still have." He finishes for him.

"Yeah." Lee agrees, before he can stop himself. A swell of anger catches him off guard. "I know my brother is still out there somewhere! Why keep a piece of him by staying here when I can find him by going out there?!" He shouts.

He despises the look of sadness on the Firebender's face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?!" He shouts again.

"Sorry." Fireboy turns his eyes back to the horizon across from them. "Do whatever makes you happy, Lee. Whatever makes you happy, and keeps you safe." He gets up to go back to his job.

"They could always just keep me here, tell me my brother's dead and that it's pointless to look for him." The words just manage to squeak their way through his tight throat. "They just want me safe from you. They think I'm all alone. Don't they?"

He hears Cinderman sit beside him again. He moves away from him ever so slightly, wary of another attempt at a hug, and desperately wanting it all the same.

"They could do that. They probably think you're alone." He says, softly. "I'm the only one that promised you, on my honor, that I would help you look until we found something. But there's always the chance that they aren't lying. They might help you look, and then you don't have to go with me anymore. Did Weilai say anything about your brother?"

"You don't even believe in him." Lee's eyes water and he has to bite his lip to stop a whimper.

"It doesn't matter what I believe. I'm not making your decision for you. And you're basing your choice off what Weilai told you. Did he say anything about your brother?"

"No." Lee's voice cracks, and he can't stop a sob from escaping his throat.

"Then there is no way to know if your brother is out there or not. You'll be safer and more comfortable here. You'll get to learn how to read those scrolls from your cave. They may help you look for him. Or, they may not. There's no way to know." A cold wind blows in from the sea, and it feels dark and scary to Lee. "If you come with me, you'll have sleep outside a lot. You'll have to walk through large towns and cities. You may get lost a few times. You'll have to listen to me order you around all day. We may never find a trace of your brother, or my mother for that matter. We may encounter rogue soldiers, or Earth Kingdom citizens who want revenge. It won't be safe, Lee. But you'll get to see the world. And you'll have my word, on my honor as Fire Lord, that I will protect you as best I can, that I will help you search for your brother, and that if you ever change your mind, I'll get you to wherever you want to go safely."

He stands up again and offers a hand to help Lee up.

Lee ignores and stands on his own, hating the tears that have made it to his face. He scrubs at them, irritated.

"How long are we staying here?" He asks.

"We'll know tomorrow. My work in here is for our sleeping arrangements. We'll go to the market tomorrow and get you some clothes and pick out some food for the trip. We'll know then."

Lee watches him walk up the steps of the shrine. For the first time, he notices the heaviness in the older boy's steps.

"I'm going to bed." Lee announces.

"Be sure to wash up first. Get some of that dirt off."

"Whatever." Lee rolls his eyes. Cinder ignores this.

"Goodnight, Lee. Sleep well." He calls after him.

Lee decides not to respond, but he can feel his resolve beginning to waver.