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It all began in the plane. Spencer was the the last one to board, and most of the seas were occupied by then. Spencer saw JJ looking out the window, the seat beside her empty. They locked eyes, but the hopeful look on JJ's face fell when Spencer walked past her. He couldn't stand it. Couldn't stand her. Her and Emily. So Spencer distanced himself.
Rossi was saying something about the pasta, but JJ was only half listening. A knot of anxiety began to form in her stomach. Part of her wanted to see Spencer, to apologize. But another wishes otherwise, not with the way they left things. Just then the door opened and the person JJ was thinking of arrived, wearing a blue turtleneck under a grey coat and pants.
"Sorry I'm late. Traffic was horrible." Spencer explained sheepishly.
"I didn't think you'd show up." JJ said, refusing to make eye contact.
"Who said I did it for you?" Spencer replied icily, making JJ flinch. Soon dinner was ready. Unfortunately the seating ended up with JJ in front of Spencer, making ignoring each other difficult lest the team notice. But finally JJ had enough.
"Spence." She said quietly as they walked. Emily and Hotch stayed behind, and Morgan and Garcia parted ways a while back. Silence.
"Spencer, please. Look at me. Reid."
"What?" Spencer hissed, whirling. "I've been ignoring you since we left. Can't you take a hint?"
"I know why you are like this to me. To me and Emily. But you have to-"
"Shut it, Jennifer." The doctor growled. "Shut up and save your paltry excuses."
Shut it, Jennifer. Shut it and save your paltry excuses. Spencer's parting words rang in his head. He and JJ have had their fair share of arguments, but Spencer never told JJ to shut up. Not once did he use those two words before. He was broken out of his musings when someone knocked at the door. He looked through the peephole. Shit. It was JJ. He opened the door.
"What do you want?" The doctor snapped.
"Can we talk?" The blonde asked, uncharacteristically nervous. Spencer stood aside and let her in. The two of them stood in the middle of the living room, facing each other.
"Say your piece, then get out." Spencer said impatiently. JJ tensed, then sighed.
"Look, I understand why you are treating me the way that you do right now. I really do. But Spence, you have to understand: Doyle is no playground bully. You have no idea how powerful he was, how dangerous he was. I lied to you not because I wanted to. I lied because I needed to. I lied out of necessity. I lied to protect you. All of you. Because if you knew, and Doyle caught wind of it-and believe me, he would have one way or another- he would have kidnapped you, tortured you for information. And after Hankel, I made myself a promise. Never again, Spence. Never again would I let you come to harm in any way. I can't lose you. I just- I just can't." JJ's voice broke. Silence.
"Spence? Say something." JJ pleaded. "Say something, please."
"Bullshit." Spencer snapped. "You lied out of 'necessity'? Since when is lying a necessity? And to protect me? Really, Jennifer? I may not be physically strong like Morgan, but I'm not a kid, dammit! Stop treating me like I'm made of glass! I can hold my own!"
"So that's it?" JJ snarled, eyes flashing. "Just because of one lie, one necessary lie, you will hate me for the rest of your life?" They were shouting now.
"You, of all people, know how much I value trust. And you broke that trust. You broke that the moment the moment you lied to me. To the team." Spencer said hotly.
"Have you not heard a word I just said?" JJ exclaimed. "Doyle had eyes and ears everywhere. One slip, one wrong move, and you, Emily, and the team would have been dead in an instant. So I'm sorry if I omitted an important detail, one that could-
"Sorry, huh? Is that sincere, or is it just another one of your 'necessary lies'?" Spencer said sarcastically.
"Wow." JJ said, barking out a laugh. "You're really going to do it, aren't you? Just because I withheld the truth to keep the team safe, to keep you safe, you're going to throw it all out the window. Everything we've gone through, all that we've done, the ups and downs, all that? I could have easily reported you to Strauss about your addiction and gotten you fired, but I didn't. You know why? Because I could not bear the thought of not seeing you. Because I didn't want to lose this. Lose us."
Spencer got into JJ's face.
"There is no us." The doctor hissed. "There has never been an 'us'. Do not, even for a single moment, delude yourself that I hold you to a high regard, that you're special. Because you are not. You weren't, you aren't, nor will you ever be special."
JJ stumbled back as if slapped.
"Take that back." The blonde whispered, tears threatening to spill.
"Why? Does it hurt? I'm only telling the truth, Jen." Spencer practically spat out his nickname for his friend.
"This is it, then." JJ said. "This is how it ends. How we end."
"Get out." Spencer answered coldly.
Things were never the same between Spencer and JJ after their fateful verbal altercation. They barely talked, and it only took two cases before Spencer gave up, leaving the BAU with letters of explanation to everyone but JJ and Emily. If they found out and were hurt, Spencer couldn't bring himself to care. When JJ got married, Spencer wasn't invited. When JJ nearly died in an accident, she asked them to leave Spencer ignorant. When she divorced Will after two years, it was Emily who got her through it. Meanwhile, Spencer moved. He transferred to Pasadena, where he became a professor in Caltech. Dr. Spencer Reid from the FBI. And he was proud of it.