Work Text:
"Pretty boy," Derek sang as he approached the mans desk. "I have a gift for you."
"Why?" Spencer looked up from where he was hunched over his computer.
Derek laughed. "Because that's usually what's expected for your birthday."
"Oh."
"So," he leaned onto the wooden table. "Here you go, birthday boy." He handed Spencer a wrapped box.
The other reluctantly accepted it, unsure if he should open it now or later. Judging by Dereks' hopeful stare, he wanted the gift to be opened.
He slowly tore off the shiny blue paper to reveal a white box with a very clear image.
"An iPhone?" Spencer asked out of disbelief and uncertainty.
"I figured you could use a new one. You've had that Samsung for like five years."
"Yeah, thank you." Spencer's awkwardness wasn't exactly unusual and therefore didn't raise suspicions.
However, within Spencers mind was a hurricane of worry and fear.
He didn't want a new phone, let alone a whole new brand and system. He knew there were major differences in the phones and that nothing would be the same. He knew some of his apps wouldn't be available and that he would have to adjust to a new layout. The worst thing was that there were zero buttons or home icons on the new iPhone. Nothing.
Spencer was able to calm himself down in the moment, allowing himself comfort in knowing he needn't to do anything that instant.
The rest of the day was fine; he was showered in love and balloons and cake all afternoon.
And then he got home.
He ignored the box for hours, making himself dinner and warm bath instead.
However, it was inevitable. Spencer was to return to work the next day, and Derek was likely expecting him to switch phones.
It took lots of staring and procrastinating before he was able to pick the phone up.
He examined it closely, noting the three cameras and extra side buttons.
With a timid sigh, Spencer powered it on. The logo flashed onto the bright screen.
The anxiety didn't leave him during the entire process of moving his data over to the iPhone. His heart bulldozed against his chest and knawed at his ribs.
And then it was done.
His sim card was inserted, his apps had transfered, and his data was restored.
Once again, he was hit with a wave of disguist and upset. Now what? He didn't know what to do.
Spencers' thumb swiped across the screen, taking in the amount of widgets and unfamiliar icons. After some looking, he realised a few of his apps weren't there.
With extensive research (a frantic google search), he discovered that not all his apps were supported on Apple.
He also realised that none of his notes had transfered, meaning he would need to rewrite hundreds of them by hand all over again.
His heart gave up and fell into an empty pit.
All too suddenly, tears gathered in his eyes, and his hands started shaking. One came to rest on his own thigh, fingers thrumming a familiar pattern in hopes to soothe his racing mind.
Everything felt like too much in that moment. Tears fell, heart rates picked up. Spencer couldn't help himself.
Within the madness that was trapped in his skull, a new thought was formed.
He was being stupid.
Why on earth was he breaking down over a phone? A phone that his very kind friend had gotten him especially out of love.
Spencer was being ungrateful and spoiled, he was undeserving of the gift.
This thought quickly turned his panic into something bigger. The wave became a tsunami that wiped out skyscrapers, destroying anything stable in its path.
Spencer fell alseep on the wooden floor that night, his body limp from exhuastion.
The next morning came far too quickly. Spencer couldn't believe it when he faintly heard a truck drive past, making him aware that it was already time to get up.
He wondered why he hadn't heard his alarm. Checking the phone, he realised it had, in fact, gone off.
Perplexed, Spencer set an alarm for a minute from then to see if it worked, and maybe he had just been so deeply asleep.
But no, the alarm didn't make sound because apparently it was on do not disturb.
Again, he set an alarm and turned off the silent mode. He waited. No sound emitted.
This only made Spence more upset. He would have to download a separate app later.
His eyes burned as he got ready, not only because of the bright sun but also from last nights scrubbing away of tears.
Flashes of the last hours played in Spencers pounding head. He decided to take an advil before leaving his apartment.
Immediately, he noticed the few stares from fellow BAU workers. Despite his hard work in making himself look fine, Spencer undoubtedly looked a mess. He knew his eyes were red, that he had dark circles under his eyes, that his steps were slightly wobbled.
He couldn't care less at the time.
Spencer threw down his satchel and fell into his office chair. The fabric was itchier than usual.
Just as he was about to start some paperwork, Derek Morgan himself sauntered over with a grin.
"Hey, how's the phone treating you?" He nodded at the iPhone that was lying to the side of many stacked folders.
"It's great, thank you." Spencer lied through his teeth.
Maybe his smile didn't reach his eyes, or Derek just knew him that well, but the man saw through him and frowned slightly.
"You alright, kid?"
He nodded. "All good, just tired." It was a good enough answer for Derek. He let Spencer be.
He was able to go a while without thinking about his phone, caught up in the stacks of documents and countless emails he needed to respond to.
Then came his lunch break; he always spent those with Derek and Hotch.
It was fine, he was fine. Spencer was making normal conversations with the two older men and faked his energy.
Then the topic of his phone came up again.
"How is the new iPhone? I've been thinking about upgrading since my battery is starting to go." Hotch asks.
"It's, yeah, it's good. Worth it." Again, Derek saw through him. It was getting quite frustrating.
"Kid, are you sure you're alright? If you don't like the phone you dont have to use it." The man frowned.
That was all it took for Spencer to break down. Suddenly, he was rambling, leg bouncing anxiously and eyes darting.
"It's just- it's a huge change, and im not used to it, and yes, I should give myself some time to get used to it, but I dont want to. I like my phone and the system, and it has all my apps, and i dont have to adapt. I dont want to adapt. I like what I like, and I just feel really bad because you bought it for me, and I don't want you to feel upset or guilty, and I just can't do change like that, and I really-"
"Hey, hey, calm down. Breathe for me, kid." Derek had grabbed Spencers hand - which had been scratching at his pale forearm - and held him still. Hotch was waiting, completely tense, on stand by.
"It's alright. I know you dont like change, I should've thought of that, especially since I sprung it on you so suddenly. You dont ever have to worry about something like that." He smiled sadly at the younger. "You don't need to use the phone, Hotch can have it. That way, it's used well."
Spencer sniffed and stared at Dereks knee. He felt a rough hand - Hotchs most likely - gently wipe away the tears streaming down his red cheeks.
Hotch rubbed a hand up and down Spencers back and grinned. "How about you make Derek take you out for the day? He should pay for this."
"Hey, I'm not complaining about that." Derek raised his hands in defence. "A whole day with Spence is a win for me."
"Spend thousands on his credit card." That earned him a playful smack.
"Thank you." Spencer whispered and leaned into Dereks shoulder.
"No, don't thank me. I'm sorry for making you so distressed. That's on me."
Spencer frowned and started, "No, but -"
"Nuh uh," Derek stopped him, "not another word."
Spencer switched his phone back that night and sent Derek a text.
'Thank you today, I do appreciate the thought of your gift.'
'You're welcome, and thank you. I love you, kid.'