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Diego spotted his brother nursing a drink by the edge of the ball pit, hiding away in the shadows like a troll under a bridge. That thought made him laugh as he pictured his 60-something brother crouched under a bridge, screaming about bad coffee or something. Diego decided he’d make a pretty great gremlin if the CIA ever stopped working out for him. Unfortunately for Five, he was not a tiny fantastical creature that could hide away from the world, and he would inevitably have to face his brother who was imminently approaching.
He clocked Diego immediately and sighed before taking another swig of his beer, knowing it would likely be needed if he were to interact with the meathead. He was wearing a face that screamed ‘I’m going to force us both into a moment of emotional vulnerability and neither of us are going to enjoy it’. Great. I can finally check ‘having a heart-to-heart with discount batman' off my bucket list.
“So, Cinco.”
“Diego,” he replied in his increasing apprehension.
Diego looked his brother up and down, bit the inside of his cheek and asked, “Why’ve you been avoiding my family?”
Five clenched his jaw in his unique ‘I’m the smartest one in the room and I’m done with dealing with you dumb children’ way and replied with a slightly impatient “I don’t know what you’re talking about Diego.”
But Diego knew it was all an act. He understood his brother well enough to know when he really was done with everyone’s shit, and when he was putting on a show of fake superiority in order to control the unfavourable situations he found himself in. It was a coping mechanism. Decades of things falling wildly out of his control, being used and abused has led to this desperate need to hold the power in any situation. This used to work to his advantage, such as rallying the rest of their siblings to save the world or one-upping the commission that once took his autonomy away. But that was all over now. The world wasn’t ending. The commission was gone. The only thing Five was truly running away from was his family. Five was trying to metaphorically commandeer this conversation to get away from truly being open with his brother. And Diego was having none of it.
“No, don't give me that shit, Five, alright? I know you. And I know when you’re hiding something. Or when you’re hiding from something. Lila told me that you’ve been avoiding her family and you are going to tell me why. I mean, I get it, they can be a bit much, but they're Lila’s family, so they’re my family. And that means they’re your family too. So spit it out. Why are you hiding from them?”
Five had an odd look on his face. He seemed tired - but not the normal ‘I’m surrounded by idiots’ tired, more ‘I’m being weighed down by something heavy on my chest and I can’t escape it’ tired. And Diego must’ve drank more than he thought because he swore he could see a look of guilt on his older brother’s face. His hand gripped his beer tighter and it reminded Diego of when Five would ball up his fists before jumping away in a flash of blue, like he was itching to escape but he couldn't. It was unnerving, seeing his brother that’s usually so headstrong be this…still. A deer in headlights.
But Five quickly recovered as he grit his teeth and bit back with more ire than was probably intended, “I’m not hiding from anything, Diego. The only thing I’m hiding from is your shitty ham sandwiches”
Pinching his nose, Diego fought his inner demons telling him to bite back at Five as he tried to calm himself, reasoning that his cranky old brother was just like a caged animal baring its teeth when it’s backed in a corner. He was just scared of being vulnerable. Now, Diego’s no professional when it comes to vulnerability, in fact, 10 years ago he would probably say he’d rather chew off his own foot, to quote his Scrooge of a brother. But he was a father now. He understood what it meant to be family. And what it meant was sometimes having uncomfortable conversations for the sake of growth and communication. Five wouldn’t be able to get past whatever this was on his own, and although he could well and truly hate his brother sometimes, he loved him just as much. He wanted his brother to feel comfortable with the other side of his family. He wanted him to be involved in his life. And he also hated seeing him like this, letting something eat him alive while he shut himself away. He wouldn’t stand by and watch Five torture himself.
“Look, Five. I know this is hard for you. I’m not exactly loving this either. But it’s important to Lila and it’s important to me. Whatever this is, I’m sure it’s all just in that cuckoo head of yours. So quit being a hardass and tell me what's up.”
Five just looked at him, his shoulders hiked up and body tense with a vice grip around the beer before sighing.
“I-...Do you know what it's like facing a ghost?”
Diego was dumb-struck. What the hell is he talking about??
“Uhhhh no. That was Klaus’ power, remember? Is the old age finally catching up to ya, old man?”
Five just scoffed and rolled his eyes. “No, pea-brain, that’s not what I'm talking about, jesus.”
“Well then what the hell did you mean, smartass?” he bit back.
“I mean I have a history, Diego. You know what I’ve done. You know that I’ve killed. And you know… who I’ve killed.”
Diego looked down at that guiltily. He knew what Five was forced to do, and he knew that, no matter how big a game he talked, deep down, Five still blamed himself for it all.
“It’s not every day that your victims come back to life, ok? It’s jarring. And I don’t know how I’m supposed to look them or Lila in the eye, let them treat me like family when I…”
He trailed off but that was fine. Five didn’t need to say any more. Diego understood. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Diego would never really understand, and to be honest, he stupidly thought that it would be water under the bridge now that they were alive again. I mean, Lila seemed to be fine. And she clearly wanted Five to have a relationship with them. But he guessed his brother still felt hesitant.
“I-”
He sighed. He was gonna have to say something really awkward in order to fix this now, huh? God, emotional vulnerability sucks ass!
“Ok, Five. Here’s what's gonna happen. You’re gonna let me speak. You’re gonna shut up and listen, and you’re not gonna say a damn thing. Then, you're gonna walk your bite-sized ass over to Lila’s parents and you are gonna talk to them like the family that you are, ok?”
Five looked more pissed than guilty now and opened his mouth, likely to say something snarky before his brother cut him off.
“Uh uh uh, Mr Grinch, that doesn’t look like you shutting up. Now listen, I wanna start by saying that I’m sorry. None of us ever really told you that and we should’ve. But I really am sorry. You’ve been through a load of shit and you didn’t deserve it. I know you probably think it's your punishment for being too cocky as a kid but you were just a kid and you didn’t deserve it. It was also completely out of your control, including all the killing. And Lila understands that. Even if it took her a while. All she wants is for her family to be whole. And I want that too, ok? More than anything. You’re…important to me. You’re a nasty lil shit, but you’re important to me. I love you, bro. You’re my family. And you’re Lila’s family. So whatever you think Lila feels about you, you’re wrong. That means that you need to put your big boy pants on and go make small talk with the in-laws, ok bro?”
Five just looked at him for a second as he swallowed, searching for something in his eyes. He seemed to have found his answer as he gave his usual reserved smile and raised his beer before starting towards Lila’s parents.
As he was walking, he stopped to turn around, looked at the ground and then up at Diego and said, “I, uhh. I love you too, Diego.”
And Diego smiled back.