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You know, having the ability to turn this off would be nice. Just to be able to look down and not hear a consonant stream of other people’s stresses and strife. Sure, it was tons of fun when he was younger, when he could cheat on tests and only lose recess time, when everyone didn’t have anything to worry about. But as Impulse got older, it became a curse, and he got increasingly disappointed in himself.
It was the primary reason that now, he preferred to be alone. He knew he owed people that privacy. Half the time they didn’t even know it had ever happened. He couldn’t control it, no matter how hard he tried.
So he became a recluse.
Of course, that didn’t work, and soon he found Tango, and even sooner he joined Hermitcraft, which was probably the last thing typical for a recluse. So he forced himself to schedule a meeting with Xisuma, to tell him everything, to tell him that he can’t join the server because he was a horrible, invasive person-
“No, you’re not,” Xisuma says coolly, like it was the truth. It was all over for Impulse right then and there.
“What do you mean?” He asks pacing, like he was stepping on eggshells. In his mind, he was.
“Do you think you’re the only one with different abilities here?”
Yes, Impulse thought, yet before he could answer, Xisuma simply shook his head, as a smile grew on his face.
“Did you know that I’m a voidwalker?” Xisuma continues. He gently brings his hands up and pops the airlock on his helmet, taking it off. He shakes his white hair, before opening his eyes slowly. Impulse found himself staring as the purple irises twitched side to side, a stuttering nystagmus.
“If all this,” he begins, motioning to himself by waving in a circle in front of his face “isn’t strange enough, I also glow in the dark.”
“I didn’t know that.” Impulse replies, leaning forward a bit.
“In other servers I was just like you,” Xisuma replies, setting his helmet on the table next to him. “An outcast. Day-blind, white-haired, bioluminescent, so unlike even the rarest of hybrids. All I had was my own species, and even then they didn’t want me. We created Hermitcraft to give a home to people like you and me.”
“Oh.” Was all Impulse could say.
“You’ll make a great fit here. Trust me?” Xisuma asks, holding out his hand. Impulse takes it.
“I trust you.”
Everyone in Hermitcraft welcomed him with open arms. He eventually felt less scared of being rejected or hated, and soon, every single hermit had a home in his heart.
As the sun sets on Season 3, and Impulse and Tango stare into the swirling purple abyss of the Hub Portal, Tango throws an arm around Impulse, laughing slightly. ‘Told you so,’ He thinks, and Impulse shakes his head, joining Tango in his laughter. Impulse clutches a tiny horse miniature carved out of sandstone that Keralis had gifted him for his birthday. He hopes it doesn’t get damaged in transit to the new world.
Now, the horse miniature sits on the shelf, next to seven other miniatures just like it, all inspired by bases from previous worlds. He cards a hand through his banana yellow hair and sighs.
‘Gonna go see Impulse, gonna tell him how much I love my homeh buddeh, how does this FREAKING DOOR WORK AGAIN-’ he hears Skizz’s thoughts blaring, and he giggles a little at Skizz’s frustrated scream as he tries to kick off his cuisses and greaves to open the door. Mind reader or not, it was obvious that Skizz was currently stuck in them.
Impulse decides to spare him, tipping his beanie to the door.
“Next time,” Skizz sighs, almost breathless, bending over to re-buckle his straps, “I’m going to mine straight through your wall.”
“Or just start wearing a helmet or hat.”
“And mess up the flow? I think not, dude.” Skizz replies, sounding almost offended that Impulse would suggest such a thing. He combs a few fingers through his dark, wavy hair. “I’m growing it out, dude, for the Poe Poe. I’m gonna be a sexy biker man.”
“First of all, Cleo cut your hair, like, yesterday,” Impulse mentions.
“I had split ends,” Skizz reasons.
“Second of all, you don’t need long hair to be a- you already are- oh, whatever,” Impulse says, cutting himself off. Thankfully, Skizz is clearly not paying attention, too busy explaining his plans and flexing his guns at him. Impulse is very glad that the angel can’t read minds while he does this.
“-And like, dude, just you freaking wait, Scar and I have been working out together, and dude, he can do like 50 pull-ups in his chair, like, you know how heavy that thing probably is? I know the frame is light, but he’s got suspension and outdoor tires and a motor- dude, Scar’s gonna be the death of me!” Skizz rants, dramatically fanning his face as it turns a deep shade of pink.
Impulse simply plays with his lip piercings, pushing them around with his tongue, nodding here and there to show how much he was paying attention. Ah, Skizz. The angel and demon dup had been through thick and thin together in their decades of friendship- or, whatever the void they were. Impulse wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
“You okay buddy? You seem a bit spaced.”
Rats. That was the only issue. Talking about his overthinking problem.
“There’s fun police behind you.” Impulse replies, smoothly avoiding the question. He draws his bow and looses an arrow into the face of a Pillager.
Skizz screams in surprise, baring his sword. The Pillagers charge forward, and they easily destroy them, the netherite and diamond easily piercing their leather tunics and tasses and breaking their crossbows.
After the quick fight, and their bodies dissolve back into the earth, Impulse wipes sweat from his brow. “You alright, buddy? Need food?”
Skizz nods, sucking in a breath as he pulls a flint arrowhead out of his shoulder. “One of them decided to stab me instead of trying to shoot. It worked.” Impulse quickly passes Skizz a porkchop and a clean rag to blot the wound.
“Thanks, dude.” Skizz says, biting into the porkchop. Impulse can hear his stress fade as his health regenerates and the wound closes and scars over.
‘Void, I love you,’ Skizz thinks, as he looks up to Impulse with nothing but adoration in his eyes. Impulse saddens, but instead shows a warm smile as he offers a clawed hand to the angel to help him up, Impulse’s black claws reflecting Skizz’s glowing halo.
Impulse wishes he had the gut to tell him that he felt the same.
After some time of catching up, Skizz leaves, but not after a long hug between the two, where Impulse hears all that is being left unsaid.
About how much he loves him, about how much he wants to kiss him, about how much he wants to spend the rest of his life with him, how he has a nice tush-
Well, that's Skizz’s thoughts, not his. He wishes they were words. He wishes Skizz would say something, anything.
But he doesn't.
So Impulse takes a deep breath.
"Are you doing anything later on? At night?"
That is certainly not what he thought he was going to say, but he'll go with it.
"No, buddy, why? What's up?" Skizz replies, tilting his head to the side slightly, almost cat-like. His light blue eyes were startlingly wide now, too.
Impulse takes another deep breath. "I just. I know a place. I want to show you it. Wanna tell you something. Meet me here at 8, okay?"
"I can do that, sure."
The two separate from their hug and go their separate ways.
Impulse exhales shakily as he pulls his communicator out of his pocket.
/msg TangoTek
TangoTek: uh oh
TangoTek: why
ImpulseSV: Code pink.
TangoTek: i'm there
He couldn't do this. He couldn't do this! He promised himself that he would never use his curse to have advantage over Skizz. And here we go, he's planning to confess based on Skizz's stupid loud thoughts and his stupid face and his stupid, dumb-
"Hey hey hey hey," Tango whispers, dipping his head down a bit to look at Impulse. The blazeborne places his hands on Impulse's shoulders gently. "You gotta breathe slowly." Tango says, cooling his fire slightly to keep the room dim.
Impulse gasps, gripping Tango’s wrists and trying to listen to him. He promises he’s trying, he really is. He looks up at Tango after a bit of hyperventilating.
“There you go. Keep breathing slowly. Look at me. Don't gasp.” Tango guides, making a show of a big, deep breath. Smoke flows out of both of their mouths as they exhale, mingling together, wafting up and dissipating. This continues for what seems like forever.
In Impulse’s mind, it was forever. Every thought in his head was lit up like a neon billboard, all degrading him for his curse.
Finally, Impulse speaks.
“I’m an idiot.”
“You're not.” Tango replies quickly. He’s now knelt down in front of Impulse, and the blazeborn’s hands have moved to hold the demon’s in their lap.
“I promised that I would never use my curse to my advantage again.” Impulse reminds, and Tango shakes his head. He rubs his thumb over Impulse’s knuckles, looking down at his calloused hands. He stayed quiet for a second.
“No, Impy, you're not taking advantage of him, I promise you.”
“You can't convince me.”
“I can and I will.” Tango replies, his eyes sparking a bit, his head shooting back up.
“Okay buddy. Lay it out.” Impulse says.
“You can't control it, you're planning to confess because you want to, all you gain is a boyfriend and nothing else. Taking advantage of him will be, say, telling people that he has a crush on you for blackmail.”
“Well what do you think I’m doing right now?”
“Having a panic attack.”
“Really?” Impulse deadpans.
“Anyways, you're not telling people, it's just very obvious that he likes you.”
“To me, yeah. I can hear his thoughts.”
“No, to everyone.”
“Oh.”
There’s a short pause, and then Impulse laughs a bit, and Tango smiles. “You're not an idiot, or a jerk, or anything. Promise.”
“Thank you, Tango.”
“Of course.” Tango replies. The two stand back up, their shared silence comfortable, and Tango beams positive thoughts into Impulse’s head.
‘You’ll do just fine. He loves you too. If you don't make me the best man, I’m suing.’
Impulse shakes his head and laughs harder. “I’ll make you best man when we come to that.”
Tango cheers.
Later on, Impulse is hanging around the wall of the cyberpunk city, streetlights just starting to come on as the sun sinks deeper and hides behind trees and hills. He’s wearing a comfortable purple hoodie, and just some black sweats, because the temperatures are starting to dip.
For a second, he's nervous that Skizz isn't going to show up. That’s fine, he thought, maybe he just got caught up in something. But as his thoughts begin to turn sour, Skizz rears his head in the form of basically flying straight into him.
“Incoming!” Skizz yells.
Impulse screams like a little girl as he jumps out of the way, but he won't ever tell anyone that.
The angel skids to a stop, giggling a bit as he folds his wings back up.
“Sorry, buddy. Was almost late.” Skizz says, and once Impulse composes himself, he shakes his head.
“You're okay. Ready?”
“As always.”
“Cool. Follow me. Keep your head down.” Impulse instructs, pulling his hood up and gently grabbing Skizz’s hand, then dashing into the walled city. “Nighttime curfew. Safety reasons.” Impulse explains.
The two quickly hide behind Impulse’s complex, before scanning the area and scrambling around trash cans, old neon signs, and broken down vehicles. They get behind the tallest building, and Impulse smirks.
“Where are we going, dude?” Skizz asks, panting slightly.
“You’ll see.” He says, picking up a bit of rebar and smashing a window. He climbs inside, then helps Skizz up.
“You're insane,” Skizz says, as he clumsily climbs through the window. ‘It’s hot,’ Impulse hears, but he doesn't mention it.
“Up,” Impulse says, pointing to a flight of stairs across the room. It looked to be an office building, now abandoned due to all of the inhabitants either unemployed or working for manufacturing. They dash over, and go up several flights.
It actually takes an embarrassingly long time for the two to reach the top, but when they do, Impulse picks the lock of the roof access door.
“Dude, this is like, the tallest building in all of Hermitcraft right now.” Skizz gulps.
“You have wings,” Impulse says, shrugging. He admits that his determination has made him a bit of a daredevil. Skizz merely laughs.
Impulse opens the door, and luckily, the two made it just in time for the sunset.
“There's a living roof up here?” Skizz asks, looking around at the greenery, expertly taken care of.
“Yeah. Somewhere in this building lives an old farmer. He lets me come up here if I water his plants for him when he can't.” Impulse replies. The two find a bench facing the sun, surrounded by flowers and healthy vegetables.
“This is really pretty up here.” Skizz comments, taking a seat on the bench. Impulse joins him.
“It is.”
The two stare out into the sunset, Skizz eventually leaning his head on Impulse’s shoulder. Impulse could scream.
He tries to open his mouth, but he balks, and instead, he turns his palm over to silently ask Skizz to hold his hand. The two interlock their fingers.
“I need to tell you something,” He says, completely unplanned. Now he’s in the dark. He can hear Skizz’s mind racing, but he takes a deep breath.
Skizz picks up his head and looks at him. “Sure. You alright?”
Impulse tilts his head. “I am. I just…” He tries, but he balks again, the words tasting bad in his mouth. He does love him. He loves him, and it's a nightmare. Why can't he say it?
“I’m in love with you. I have been for a really, really long time.” Impulse says, whisper quiet. He searches Skizz’s face, his head, for something, anything, and just as he starts to panic, Skizz smiles.
He thinks it’s the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen.
“Oh, thank creation.” Skizz says. Impulse can tell he’s nervous, yet not surprised. “I- yeah. Me too. I’ve been trying to tell you for years.”
Now for the hard part.
“I figured.”
“Oh my god, you knew?” Skizz asks, raising his eyebrows incredulously.
“Well, that's the problem. I um. I kind of can hear people’s thoughts?”
“Bro.” Skizz says. “So you knew I was in love with you, and you felt the same, and you didn't tell me?”
“I got nervous.” Impulse says sheepishly, shrugging.
“You got nervous?” Skizz says, his voice raising an octave, his smile even wider now. “You got nervous! You knew how I felt and you-” Skizz says, descending into laughter. “I cannot believe you.”
Impulse chuckles. “Listen, okay, I had valid concerns.”
“I compliment your ass in my head every time I see it.” Skizz deadpans “You had no reason,” he jokes.
“Touchè.”
“Wait, so like. Is this just a me thing or is this like, everyone?”
“Yeah, everyone.”
“What’s Doc thinking about right now?”
Impulse sighs, wincing. “You don't want to know.”
“Oh!” Skizz replies. “Okay, dude, how the heck do you function? No wonder you're so overstimulated all the time.”
“Yeah- the thing is, I don't function.” Impulse replies. Skizz shakes his head.
There was a short silence.
“I’m in love with you too.” Skizz says, gently pressing his forehead into Impulse’s shoulder. “I think that I always have been. Damn, this could have been, what, our ten year anniversary?”
Impulse laughs. “Closer to one thousand.” He jokes, then there’s another pause. “Do you..Do you want to kiss? Like can we…do that? It’s okay if not,"
“I think if I don't kiss you right now, I’m going to explode.”
Same here, Impulse tries to say, but his lips are already on Skizz’s. He's rather hungry, but not forceful with it. It’s wonderful. He tastes like coffee and cinnamon.
Well, it’s safe to say he no longer wants to turn this off. He didn't feel like an outcast, and now, finally, his best friend knows his deepest secret. His best friend can now finally be something different, something more.
They break apart after what seems like forever, the two panting.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that for.” Impulse whispers. They press their foreheads together, their hands finding purchase in their laps and on their shoulders.
“Could’ve just asked, honestly.” Skizz laughs. “Do you need to breathe or can I do it again?”
“Please.”
“Woah, we need to get off the roof if you're going to sound like that.” Skizz mumbles, gently holding the sides of his face and going in for another long kiss. Impulse laughs into it.
He’s glad that Tango brought him here. He’s glad that Xisuma trusted him.