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“Rosie..?”
“Varric?”
“You have passed by me about thirty times today, and I haven’t even had lunch yet.”
“Oh. I didn’t realise it had been so many times…”
“Thirty. In six hours.”
“Yes, okay; I get your point, Varric.” Faena said, crossing her arms defensively, heat flooding to her cheeks. “What of it? Am I not allowed to walk around my own castle? If you don’t like it, you could always go somewhere else; like out of the bloody way. But of course you wouldn’t be able to eavesdrop then.”
“Ah, there are the thorns we all know and hope to never be aimed at us. Tiny didn’t exaggerate about the sting.” Faena blinked at the dwarf, instantly feeling guilty, then took a slow breath to try to calm herself down.
“Sorry, Varric. I’m just… not good today. I don’t mean to take it out on anyone.”
“No harm done, Inquisitor. And I will have you know that I don’t eavesdrop…”
“Much.”
“Alright, alright! But I only write down the really juicy stuff, like how many bottles of wine Leliana orders from the kitchen.” He said with an infectious grin, which Faena couldn’t help but return. “There we go; much better than a frown, Rosie.”
“Why, because I ‘look prettier when I smile’”
“No, because you’re, frankly, fucking terrifying when you’re angry.” Faena laughed, then shook her head.
“Ah, my ultimate goal; to put fear in the hearts of all men…”
“Yeah, well… you’ve succeeded.” She giggled, then sighed as she remembered why she was there in the first place. “So are you going to enlighten me about why you’re patrolling this little bit of hall so vigilantly?”
“Maybe I just wanted to ogle at your chest hair..?”
“I can see how that may be very tempting, but I’m guessing it has something to do with the door behind me.”
“Nope, just a coincidence... now, could you just pull your shirt down a little more, and I will be satisfied enough that I can be out of your hair… sorry, pun not intended.”
“Oh, you charmer. But I’m not that easily fooled.”
“Damn, and I had my best smoulder on and everything…”
“That’s your best smoulder? I hate to tell you his, Rosie, but you need to train that seduction technique of yours. Right now it looks like ‘if you don’t do as I say, I will gut you’.”
“But that’s exactly what I’m going for..!”
“Hey, if it floats Chuckles’ boat…” Faena inadvertently grimaced. “There we go. Has anyone told you that you have a terrible face for Wicked Grace?”
“No, but probably because they know that if they did, I’d at least try not to be such an open book. Which of course would be less easy for all of you to guess what I’m feeling.”
“But sometimes we need to be able to tell so we know when we speak to you if you’re going to be sweet and jokey, or bite our heads off.”
“And yet you did, even though you knew I’d probably snap at you?”
“What can I say? I’m a helper.” Faena shook her head and rolled her eyes, with a smile on her face. “And not to mention that I feel partly responsible for your and Chuckles’… misunderstanding.”
“There’s where you’re wrong, Varric; I understand full well that Solas is a self-righteous arse, who is instantly dismissive of opinions that differ to his own.”
“Wow, what did he do?”
“He said that he was ‘a fool to believe that a Dalish could be anything other than a Dalish’. Which of course is Solas’ way of saying intrinsically small minded and wrong. Oh, and let’s not forget that I ‘disappointed’ him.”
“Shit, that’s… surprisingly cruel.”
“Yeah well I’m not exactly faultless in this. I may have said exactly what I said to you about him to his face. And then some.”
“I dread to think what that was.”
“It might have been something like him being an obnoxious, miserable old man and that he needed to take his head from out of his arse.”
“I mean, you’re not wrong, but…” Varric shook his head, sighing. “Anyway, what I meant to say, was that… I’m sorry that I poked the bear, so to speak, with this whole debacle over Cole’s humanity.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I made a decision, it just so happened that you agreed with me.”
“Rosie, come on…”
“Varric, no. You are not allowed to feel guilty about this.”
“Fine.” He said, putting his hands up. Faena was quiet for a moment, unconsciously wringing her hands.
“I feel bad though.” She admitted.
“Why? It seems to me like he gave as good as he got.”
“I know, it’s just…” She sighed and brushed a stray piece of hair out of her eyes. “He was only trying to do what he thought was best for Cole, just as much as we were. It’s bad luck that put us on opposing opinions, you know?” Faena then groaned and put her head in her hands. “Creators, I was so mean to him. I should have just kept a cool head and understood that he was upset, for good reason, and risen above it… but instead I flew off the handle, like I always do.” She then looked at Varric, her eyes big with fear. “How am I supposed to be any kind of good leader if I let my anger get the better of me? I should be above all that…” She searched for a word. “Shit.” Varric put a hand on her arm and smiled kindly.
“Everyone gets angry, Rosie. Especially at someone you love when they doesn’t act as you think they should.”
“Why do I get the feeling that this is less about me and Solas and more about you and a certain dwarven woman..?”
“Hey, do you want my advice or not?” Faena mimed sealing her lips. “But you can’t throw all of the good stuff away because of a rough patch, you know? And just because you’re the Inquisitor doesn’t mean that everyone expects you to be infallible. The reason the people picked you is because of who you are as a person. Your anger is what makes you fight longer and harder than anyone else, championing the smallest of causes because of your innate hate of injustice.”
“Gods, that sounds like Solas.”
“Well, opposites attract only to a certain extent. You have to have some common ground or what will you have to unite on? Just think of it as, you are a sunrise and Chuckles is a sunset. The colours are the same, just in different orders.”
“Was that an age joke?” Varric chuckled.
“It wasn’t meant to be, but sometimes I even surprise myself with how clever I am.” Faena smiled.
“You’re being especially serious today, Varric.”
“I figured you needed it.”
“Thank you.”
“Any time, Rosie.” He said patting her on the arm again. “So, are you ready to talk to him?”
“I think so. But I can’t promise I won’t walk in and straight back out again.”
“No judgement here. I’m not exactly the kind of dwarf who is good at dealing with his problems.”
“You’re getting better.”
“Thanks.” He said with a smile. Faena took two quick breaths, straightened herself, nodded once to Varric, then walked into the rotunda.
Faena hovered in the doorway as she quickly scanned the room, spying Solas looking up at a half-finished fresco. He had one arm crossed and the other holding his chin in a pensive manner, analysing his work. Normally she would have stood behind him and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his back; and it took every ounce of self-control in her to not do just that. She was just contemplating whether acting as if nothing had happened was the right way to field this, when Solas looked over at her, then back to the wall. His face was infuriatingly unreadable.
“Inquisitor.” He said, perfectly polite; she flinched anyway. “Do you need anything from me, or are you on your way to see Dorian?”
“I would have used the other door.” She replied quietly.
“Good point.”
“Can we talk..?”
“I would hate to bore you with the small minded opinions of an old man.” She shook her head.
“I didn’t come here to pick a fight.”
“Then why did you come here?”
“Solas, you’re better than this.”
“I assure you, I am as adept as anyone at being petty.”
“So I see.” She sighed deeply. “Solas, would you look at me, please?” For a moment she thought that he wouldn’t, but he sighed and turned around. “I understand that I hurt you, in more ways than one. And you have no idea how much I wish I could take back the things that were said, but I cannot. We both said things that we didn’t mean… At least, I didn’t mean them; I don’t know about you. Maybe you do think that I’m a stupid little girl in over her head, and I certainly wouldn’t blame you for it but… I am so sorry for losing my temper and for everything I said. But I can’t apologise for the choice I made about Cole.”
“I do not take offense to your ability to make swift decisions, it is a vital skill in someone of your position; what I do take offense to is you coming to a conclusion on a subject you yourself have admitted you know nothing about, ignoring the advice of someone who knows better. So, naturally, your conclusion was wrong. And now it is irreversible.”
“I don’t need to know the deep inmost workings of spirits and the Fade to know what is best for one of my people! I will grant you that I do not know any other spirits, but I know Cole. Do you not think it was hard for me to go against your wishes? I hate the thought of you being upset with or angry at me, but I had to do what was right. For Cole.”
“How can you think that anything about this was right!?” Solas’ voice raised, his accent more pronounced.
“Alright, let me put it this way… when you talk to the impossibly blonde boy with a weakness for hats, what do you call him?” Solas’ mouth was a thin line. “Do you call him ‘Compassion’? No, you don’t; because he is Cole. He is not a spirit anymore, and he made that choice long ago. If he had wanted to stay a spirit, he never would have taken the body of the original Cole.” Solas sighed deeply and started massaging his temples.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” He finally said quietly. Faena smiled softly and closed the space between them, putting her hands on either side of his face.
“You don’t need to say anything, ma vhenan. You are smart and good and kind, and I love and respect you more than I can possibly try to articulate. But, Solas, opinions that differ from yours are not always wrong. And they are certainly not made just to spite you. I know that you have been alone for a long time, but you have to learn these things. I am certainly no wilting flower, and I highly doubt you would be interested in me if you were anything other than what I am. I will not always agree with you, and that’s okay. Life would be far too boring without a little conflict, but we mustn’t take it to heart.” Solas nodded slightly, then pulled her into an embrace.
“This is just not how it is supposed to go. Spirits have changed and… I suppose I just thought that I was finished learning about this world.”
“Contrary to the popular Fereldan saying, you can teach an old dog new tricks…”
“An age joke? Really?”
“Blame Varric.” She said with a grin. He chuckled, then sighed again.
“And you are also right that I have been alone too long, and become an ass for it.”
“Also right? Meaning that I was right about Cole?”
“Smugness doesn’t suit you.”
“Alright, alright; I’ll take it.” Solas kissed the top of her head, then moved her back slightly so he could see her face.
“I’m sorry.” He said softly.
“Thank you. And I’m sorry too.”
“So it would seem we are both sufficiently contrite.”
“Where do we go from here?” Faena asked with a smile.
“Hopefully to another room!” A voice called from above them. Faena looked up to see Dorian hanging precariously over the railing.
“If you don’t like it, don’t listen!” She replied, then stuck her tongue out at him.
“Did you forget that you were shouting for most of that conversation?”
“And the quiet parts?” Dorian looked like he was struggling for an excuse.
“The acoustics are really good..?”
“Then why do you look like you’re about to show us an acrobatic trick on that railing?”
“Oh I can show you acrobatics if you like…” Dorian said with obvious innuendo, punctuated with a wink. Solas rolled his eyes in response.
“I’m glad you two made up!” An Orlesian accent said.
“Oh great, Leliana too!”
“One of her spies would have reported on us anyway.” Solas said with a small smile.
“True… but you know one place where there are no spies?”
“Please indulge me.”
“My bedroom…” She whispered, and grinned at the blush creeping onto his face and the glint that appeared in his eyes. Faena led him by the hand out of the room, but while they were still in earshot, they heard,
“I wouldn’t count on it!”