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The season had just finished recording its epilogue, with Priya victorious and Bowie as the runner-up. The teens were currently chatting and socializing, with everyone in various degrees of excitement, disappointment, and every emotion in-between. Gathered in around the old Wawanawkwa cabins for one final night of hurrah before the morning came to take them back to the monotony of daily teenage life. Glaring daggers at her rival from across the clearing, the fourth-place contestant of the season radiated pure hatred. Julia whipped her hair with such ferocity that it whacked Nichelle in the face, nearly bowling her over. “Thank God we’re coming back for another season. Bowie’s totally dead, that’s for sure.”
“OW! Watch where you throw that nest around, my face is one of my defining features!” Nichelle clutched her nose, hurrying away to find hair and make-up. As if they’d help a contestant.
“Ugh, what a loser. I always thought she was soo overrated.” Julia scoffed. “I mean, she wasn’t even that gorgeous in Gorgeous People High! I could do better. Anyway, Bowie’s totally getting what’s coming to him, just you wait.”
MK walked out of the cabin with a solo cup in hand, sipping at a coke. “If by ‘what’s coming to him’ you mean a relationship with a ripped hockey player, then wow, sister, you’re really gonna knock him dead.” She snickered, pointing over to Raj and Bowie, who were laughing and chatting.
Over by the treeline, Raj was bright pink. Wayne hid behind a tree and watched his best friend and his crush with a little too much enthusiasm. The cheer squad uniform sharpied with‘Raj+Bowie’ and a pink heart seemed like a bit much.
“…But yeah, I don’t think you’re smart enough to beat Bowie, since you fell for the most obvious betrayal ever! It was seriously embarrassing to have to watch. I thought about inventing time travel just to save myself from having to watch it again.” MK rambled, watching Julia’s right eye twitch with agitation.
“Remind me who outsmarted our team to get you voted off, little miss klepto?” Julia scoffed, scrolling through her yellow phone.
“You outsmarted Wayne and Raj, and I’m pretty sure they think that a serial killer hates breakfast foods.” MK rolled her eyes.
“At least you both had an actual chance. I got kicked off right away just for my appearance!” Caleb grumbled, walking out of the cabin next. His shirt was wrinkled from all the flexing he’d been asked to do.
“And how hard life must be for you, over six foot and super muscular and conventionally attractive.” MK drawled, unimpressed. “Least you didn’t get caught stealing from these bozos. How am I gonna survive next season?”
“Did somebody say survive?” As if summoned, Axel appeared, somersaulting onto the patio from somewhere above.
“What the—-where did you come from?” Caleb jumped, shocked.
Axel pointed up, as if it was obvious. “The roof,” she said simply.
“Speaking of those who didn’t survive this season,” Julia snorted. “How’d it feel to go second out of sixteen?”
“Not as bad as you’re about to feel if you don’t get far away from me,” Axel snarled, shaking her fist.
Julia grimaced, backing away. “I think I’d totally catch some terminal illness just by touching you, so I’ll pass. Bye, losers, don’t call!” She focused down to her phone, walking away with a smug air. MK’s gaze trailed Julia’s long flowing hair, the former rolling her eyes almost fondly. Almost.
“Bah. I knew skinny in the cutoff jorts didn’t have the guts to go toe to toe with me.” Axel grinned triumphantly, hopping into a nearby bush.
Caleb and MK stared blankly for a few moments before turning back to each other. “Not gonna lie, I don’t care for Julia much.” Caleb shook his head. “Her personality is like wet tar.”
“At least a pit of tar wouldn’t call your shoes tacky or your skin greasy while it drowned you. Julia would.” MK threw her thumb over her shoulder, snickering.
“I’d like to drop someone in a pit of tar!” Lauren giggled from inside the cabin, clapping her hands. Everyone else took five huge steps backwards.
“She’s getting closer to me, she’s getting CLOSER!” Damien shouted, backing away.
Lauren suddenly launched herself at Damien, giggling malevolently. Damien shrieked, taking off into the woods like a track star.
“Aww, come back, Damien! Hot tar is a great exfoliant!…probably.” Lauren’s giggles echoed off the trees as she chased after him.
“Bro. She’s a terrifying freak of nature.” Zee frowned uncomfortably, leaving the cabin with Nichelle in tow.
“I’ve met casting directors with more sanity,” Nichelle agreed.
“Casting directors? Woah! Did they catch anything big?” Zee asked, fascinated. Nichelle gave him a simple shoulder pat like you’d give a dear friend. Or a goat at the petting zoo.
After an appropriate period of concern, Wayne cupped his hands and yelled from over by the trees. “Hey, everyone! Me an’ my buddy Raji are gonna throw you all an epic hockey rager! Come back to the cabin and play some Spin the Bottle, or you’re a hockey plug!”
“Oh, hell yes! I make parties into parties of LEGEND!” Ripper roared, beating his fists against his chest. Everyone ignored him, because he was annoying.
Axel shoved him into the dirt headfirst, standing atop his back like a mountain peak conquered. “The only necessary party is a party of survivalists trekking through the apocalypse.” Everyone stared as she procured a saran wrapped plastic tin, steaming from the top. “That being said…I make a mean hotdish. You will eat it and like it.” Her eyes narrowed, indicative of her seriousness.
“But I’m celiac…?” Caleb raised his hand, questioning.
“Then you will starve.” Answered Axel. Caleb frowned.
“…Uh, Wayne, Raj? You said, don't be a what-now?” Bowie raised his sunglasses in confusion.
“Oh, it’s hockey talk, Bowie. I’m sure Rajie here will be happy to teach you.” Wayne elbowed Raj, eyebrows up. Raj groaned, shoving him back.
“Wayne, don’t chirp me in front of—!”
In front of who? Your boyfriMMM!” Wayne was interrupted by Raj’s bare palm over his mouth, which Wayne promptly licked.
“Ew, gross, man!” Raj giggled, wiping his hand all over Wayne’s face in retaliation. Everyone else watched the spectacle with varying degrees of interest, disgust, and shameful attraction.
“I’m finding this…kind of cute. I think rolling down that mountain in a ball of my own milk puke might’ve done me in.” Bowie sighed.
“Please—please don’t say puke, or I'm gonna puke again.” Priya gagged, with Millie rubbing soothing circles into her back.
“There, there, new millionaire. Puke if you need to!” Millie said brightly.
“I just might need to, Millie.” Priya groaned.
“Please do so away from my general vicinity.” Bowie frowned, motioning far.
Millie glared his way, scoffing. “After you tried to split apart our friendship, I have half a mind to let her vomit on you!”
Priya turned green. “Please, Mills, don’t say it…!”
Bowie frowned, checking to see who was watching their little group. He leaned in, voice low. “Okay, I admit that showing Priya the junior burn book you wrote was a little far, but a million dollars was on the line. And hey, they were your words, not mine. Priya deserved to know what your intentions were at first!”
“I was going to throw my research away! I decided Priya was more important!” Millie whisper-shouted, smart and socially conscious enough to keep Bowie’s admission on the down-low.
“Millie, please. It’s okay. I forgive you, and I understand.” Priya smiled gently to her best friend.
Millie shook her head, pointing at Bowie. “As sweet as that is, no! I demand an apology! How would you have felt if I tried to ruin your budding relationship with Raj? Or if it was Wayne and Raj instead of Priya and I?”
Raj glanced over, hearing his name. He was currently engaged in a wrestling match with Wayne and they had each other pinned sideways, somehow.
“Huh? Who’s callin’ for me?” Raj grunted.
Wayne took the opportunity to shove Raj back into the ground. “My fiery fists o’ pain are callin’ for you, Rajie!”
“Oh yeah? Well…your fiery fists o’ pain smell rank, dude!” Raj fired back, the two hockey bros continuing to wrestle, laughing with one another.
Bowie glanced at Raj affectionately, and then back to Priya and Millie. His resolve softened, and he offered his hand out to Millie.
“Fine. You’re right. It was…eugh…wrong…of me to do that to you both, even for a million friggin’ dollars, I guess. I will never admit that again, not even under torture, you understand?” Bowie glanced at the ground, downtrodden. “Not like I won the money, anyway.”
Priya and Millie both eyed one another, grasping Bowie’s hand at once. “You put up an excellent fight, Bowie. It hurts to say, but the win at the end really was luck.” Priya looked incredibly reluctant to admit such a thing.
“And out of everyone here, if it makes you feel better, you were the one I wrote about the least!” Millie spoke, trying her best to be comforting.
“Awh. Thanks, nerd-sisters. Your attempts to cheer me up are appreciated, if not also incredibly lame.” Bowie winked, his sense of humor always a little burning. “But you remind me, there’s another season coming. And oh boy, if my gorgeous self isn’t in it to win it this time, then I’ll put Raj’s gross mouth guard back in my mouth again.” Bowie rushed off, presumably to go draft a game-plan.
“He put the what in his where?” Priya raised her brow.
“Maybe I should’ve written about him more…” Millie pondered.
Priya took in a deep breath, steadying herself. “Okay. No puke?” She shook her head, gagging a little, “Okay, okay, no more puke!” She stood triumphantly, shoulders squared and hands on hips. She was the juggernaut of Total Drama Island 2023, an undefeated champion and one of the only winners of Total Drama ever to…actually win the money!
(She’d accounted for having to wrestle the lowest-scoring contestant, Caleb, if he tried to steal her money, which she admitted she secretly wouldn’t hate, because wowthosewerenicearms, but it turned out to be unnecessary. She also accounted for Chris asking for her to give up the money in exchange for a bigger prize, in which case she’d have to steal the boat they drove her onto the island with and possibly commit manslaughter. Thankfully, that part was also unnecessary, and her money was safe in a bank account. Yippie for Priya! But while others did not win money, they won something nearly as valuable…love.
At least, that’s what Emma would think. She draped herself across Chase’s shoulders, giving him a tight hug. Chase smiled softly, clasping her hand in his. “This is sooo much nicer than the fighting, babe.” Chase exhaled, relaxing.
“I was wearing myself out with all that shouting, for sure.” Emma admitted, giggling. She was so relieved by Chase’s sacrifice of grandeur, even if it ultimately only got her through one more round. But she never brought it up, knowing how Chase must have had some wounded pride over the ordeal. They hadn’t had the time to watch the newest episodes back at Playa Des Losers because of all the make-up make out seshes, but Emma couldn’t wait to see her boyfriend’s transformation into a selfless and caring man in all its HD glory.
Chase wondered about what a baby goose was called. A gosling?…A ghick?… Oh well. At least his girlfriend got over her latest phase of breaking up with him, was he right? They started making out again. Nobody else was enthused to see it.
“Alright, Rajie, we gotta start the game before the party winds down!” Wayne stressed, pulling out a bottle. One by one, individual conversations simmered down and conglomerated to Wayne, Raj, and Bowie’s circle, with a traumatized looking Damien and a very satisfied looking Scary Girl being the last two to sit down.
“Damien? Are you okay?” Emma tilted her head up from Chase’s chest, concerned.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” He muttered gloomily, the faint scent of burning hair lingering around his chin. One of Scary Girl’s eyebrows appeared to be missing. Nobody was foolish enough to question her.
Julia let out a groan, texting away on her blue phone. “Ugh, I guess it’ll be good for the socials to get some pics with the other contestants post game. But don’t expect me to actually play with any of you freaks until next season, where I will crush you.”
Wayne and Raj exchanged a competitive smirk, both locking eyes to Julia. “Oh, really?” Raj said, smirking wider. What if we made the stakes higher?”
Julia stopped typing, letting out a scoff, glancing at Raj, and then Wayne. “Jockstrap Alternative, Captain Jockstrap, I lost a million dollars. What could you possibly have that makes this crappy and frankly unsanitary game appealing to me?”
“Unsanitary? Us?? You’re the one who ate a friggin’ tapeworm, girl,” said Nichelle. Julia rolled her eyes in response.
Wayne’s grin turned positively wicked, “Anyone who refuses to kiss someone lets the other person involved ask them a question they can’t refuse to answer.”
Julia matched his devious grin and set her phone down. “A chance to get dirt that’ll help me crush you losers next season? Maybe I underestimated you, Captain Jockstrap.”
“That’s great and all, geniuses, but what if they just don’t say anything anyway?” MK questioned snarkily.
“But they can’t! He said you HAVE to tell your secret, dude!” Zee exclaimed, to which MK rolled her eyes even harder. Wayne thought about it, exchanging another quick glance with Raj, who shrugged.
“We can’t force anyone to kiss, bro. That’s messed up.” Raj said, with Wayne nodding in agreement. “So…I guess if you don’t kiss them, and you don’t tell your secret, we vote you out first next season?”
“And you expect us all to just…go along with that?” MK questioned, again.
Wayne grew frustrated, letting out a huff. “Fine! If you refuse to answer the question or kiss anyone, any time you speak for the rest of your life, me and Rajie will make a fart noise over your words.”
“But you won’t even—
“PPPGPFLBLBBLT.”
“Seriously? You’re going to—
“PPPPPPFFFFLTTTTT.”
“Are you guys five years old? I didn’t even—
“PSSHSHSHSHSSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHTTTTTTTPFFFFFDFFBLTTTTT.”
“Wow, Wayner, was that one real?”
“Naw, Rajie! All with my mouth-hole.”
“Nice, bro.” The hockey bros fist-bumped crisply.
“—Oh my God, FINE! I’ll play the stupid goddamn game!” MK exclaimed, irritated. Wayne and Raj grinned triumphantly, exchanging another high five.
“I don’t know if I should be impressed or severely concerned,” said Bowie.
“You picked a damn fine boy, Bowie.” Ripper nodded in acknowledgement. “If I liked dudes, I would fight you for him.” Everyone stared at him. “What?”
“What an odd thing to say.” Nichelle noted.
“Just start the game already!” Yelled an irritated MK, thrusting the glass bottle into Nichelle’s hands. The movie star stared down at it dumbly, before setting it down and tentatively giving it a spin.
“I’ve never kissed anyone with a net worth below two million before, so this could be a nice change of pace!” She said, oblivious to the ire her comment drew. Several people looked as if they wanted to strangle her. The bottle spun around the whole circle several times, before landing on…well.
Raj looked like a deer in headlights, and Nichelle looked much the same, before she let out a little laugh. “Oh, man. I’m a movie star. You know how many gay guys work with actors? This ain’t my first rodeo.”
“It’s…not mine, either.” Raj admitted, glancing at Bowie for a moment. “I’ve kissed girls before.”
Bowie let out a wolf whistle, smirking. “Girls, plural? Raj, you little heartbreaker.”
Raj chuckled nervously, his cheeks going pink. “Yeah, well…guess I know why it never worked out, now. Makes a lot of sense in hindsight. While I was kissing them Evander Kane or Tyler Seguin would pop into my head. I always figured it was just hockey on the brain, but naw, I actually just like dudes.”
“Lucky for me,” Bowie winked at him. Raj chuckled again, turning an even brighter pink. The flirting was maybe getting a little old, guys.
“Are you two gonna lock lips or not?” MK grumbled, still miffed about being forced into this. Raj and Nichelle shrugged, both leaning forward to meet in the circle’s center. They briefly share a kiss, lips pressed together for a couple seconds at most. Cheers and whoops sound from across the circle, and they both step back a little red in the cheeks.
“That wasn’t the worst kiss I’ve ever had,” Nichelle said teasingly. “Did I rock your world, or what, hockey boy?”
“Your face is so…squishy. It’s like kissing a warm grapefruit,” Raj responded, grimacing. “How did it take me so long to realize I’m gay?” Several people snickered, glancing between the pair. Nichelle felt her lips with her fingers self consciously . Damn it, she knew grapefruit flavored lip gloss was a mistake that day!
“Oooh, let’s go clockwise! That way, it’s my turn, next!” Chase said, grabbing for the bottle. “Ems and I play this game all the time on our show with our buddies.”
“And that doesn’t bother her?” Damien glanced between the couple, confused. Emma shrugged in response.
“My competitive drive to win overpowers any jealousy I’d feel from my boyfriend getting kissed,” she said. “Plus, hey, it’s OK to look at the menu without buying anything.”
“I don’t think that metaphor works here,” Damien responded. The couple ignored him, Chase spinning the bottle. It spun only one time before landing on…a very disgusted looking Julia.
“Hell. No. Pass.” She gagged, shaking her head. “Answering any question at all is better than that fate.”
“Hey, that’s my boyfriend you’re talking about!” Emma snarled, with Chase calming her down.
“Hey, it’s OK, Ems, she obviously just can’t handle the Chasester.” He gave a seductive grin, batting his eyelashes. Julia mimed vomiting in response. “Ugh, fine, be like that. I’ll get you with this question.”
“Ask it, already, moron. You’re testing my patience.” Julia snapped.
“You are so touchy, you know that? Fine. Your question is, out of everyone here, who do you think deserved to win the most?” Obviously, Chase expected the answer to be him, and he shut his eyes smugly, proud of his question.
Julia let out a sneer. “Really? What a boring question. Obviously nobody besides me deserved to win.” Julia glanced around the circle, reluctantly motioning to MK with a loose hand. “But MK got me millions of followers with her total failure of a power play to get me out, so I gotta thank her for that, at least.”
MK looked startled for a second, before she masked it with a grin. “Aw, Jules, I didn’t know how much I meant to you.” When everyone laughed, she glanced at the ground, her face feeling hot. Thankfully, nobody seemed to notice.
“Okay, my turn!” Emma said eagerly, spinning the bottle ferociously. She seems to glare at it as if she’s trying to manipulate the outcome, and the bottle stops sharply in front of none other than Caleb. He looks startled, but offers Emma a nod.
“Uh…sure. Why not? Wanna show you all I’m a fun guy to keep around,” he said, leaning over. Emma practically leapt forward to meet him, and they kissed for a bit longer than strictly necessary. Emma giggled around Caleb’s lips while the latter looked pleased with himself. The pair finally split apart, and Chase looked less than enthused.
“Did you have to kiss him for so long, Emma?” He glared at the incredibly handsome man, who could only shrug sheepishly. Emma sighed, hanging her head.
“I know, I know, but Chase. Look at him! He’s gorgeous. You would do the same!” Emma motioned to his succulent lips, his chiseled jaw, and his beautiful dark eyes. Chase found himself biting his lip.
“…Okay, yeah. I probably would.” Chase admitted.
“Glad to be of service,” Caleb said, unaware of Priya staring wide-eyed at him from behind. Emma passed the bottle along to Millie, who looked very conflicted.
“Well…for science, I guess?” She gave it a whirl, and it stopped in front of Damien. She let out a sigh of relief, thankful for somebody sane. Damien himself looked a little nervous, but he leaned forward towards the circle.
“You’re definitely one of the nicest choices,” he admitted, giving Millie a smile. She returned it, and they shared a brief and tasteful kiss. Nothing special, and the crowd let out a few jeers.
“Boo! Boring. I want drama!” Axel said, skewering her hot dish with a sharpened stick. Millie stepped back and handed her the bottle.
“Go ahead, then, since it’s your turn.” Millie frowned, annoyed. Axel growled in response. dexterously spinning the bottle so it landed right back in front of herself.
“I trust only myself. To kiss anyone is to grow attached. To grow attached is a liability. And…none of you are really my type, no offense.” Axel gave herself a kiss to her elbow, and everyone seemed satisfied. Or at least too afraid to question her methods. Axel passed the bottle to her left, to Priya, who looked absolutely horrified. Her hands trembled as she spun the bottle, but still, it landed directly on target, to her best friend, Millie. She let out a sigh of relief.
Millie gave her a gentle smile. “I can tell you don’t want to be kissed right now, so what was your favorite challenge of the season?”
“Oh my God, really? That is so lame, nerdling.” Ripper snorted, before Priya lifted the glass bottle and leveled it to his head. He let out a little shriek, “I mean, uh, lovely question, Millie! Please answer, Priya! We’re dying to know!”
“Aw, thanks, Ripper!” Priya said, setting the bottle down before mulling the question over. “Well, even though I’m well prepared for almost any challenge, I don’t necessarily find most of them fun…but the catapult one wasn’t so bad! I got to apply my knowledge of catapults to something practical, which I never thought I would be able to do!”
Woah, Priya, you had knowledge about catapults? Where’d that come from, brah?” Zee asked, and Priya began to panic. Millie came to her rescue.
“Priya had a school project about them last year.” Millie winked at her. “It was really boring, but she learned a lot!”
“Ugh, the nerd sisters are so close that they’re finishing each other’s sentences now? It makes me sick,” Julia gagged.
“I wish I hadn’t been eliminated so soon. I’d have loved to launch someone from a catapult!” Lauren eyed Damien as she spoke. He shifted further away from her, despite being forced to sit beside her.
“Yeah, Millie is right about the school project! You’re a great friend, Millie.” Priya responded, a wordless thanks hopefully written in her eyes. She handed the bottle off to Zee, who put it up to his eye, looking through it like a spyglass.
“I spy with my little eye…someone who’s about to get the smooch of a lifetime!” Zee said, smoothly placing the bottle down and giving it a gentle spin. It went around once, before slowly hitting to a stop on Chase, who had Emma settled back into his chest. Emma laughed, and pushed him forward, with Zee giving him a glazed once-over. “Well, I already held your butt shut, so this seems like a logical next step.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Bowie blanched, eyes wide. And yet he got no answer, because the two met and locked lips for several seconds. Zee and Chase were met with raucous cheering and even some boos, from Chase’s more vocal haters. When they both stepped back, they seemed pretty indifferent.
“Yeah, the passion just isn’t there,” Zee admitted. “I think we should see other people.” He handed the bottle over to Caleb, ignoring Chase’s reminder that they were “never actually dating, dude.”
Caleb spun the bottle with a flick of his wrist, and it spun wildly for several long roundabouts, before coming to a stop in front of Ripper. Caleb gulped, and shook his head. “Uh…sorry. I don’t think I’m down for that.” All he could think about was the smell. Dear God, the smell.
Ripper grimaced, “Whatever, muscles-for-brains. I can do better than you.” Ripper pondered the question he’d get to ask, before his eyebrows narrowed devilishly. “How will you get revenge for being the first boot?”
Caleb tilted his head. “Huh? Revenge? I’m not really that kind of guy. Sure, I was peeved at first, but I tried to take it as a compliment. I was seen as too much of a threat. So I just wanna show everyone I’m chill, so they give me a chance this time around, you know?” Caleb’s sincerity was sweet, if not boring.
“Revenge is a treat best served often and with extra malice!” Lauren giggled, clapping her hands. “After all, they say grudges are the spice of life.” (Do they say that? I don’t think so).
“Wise words, SG.” MK nodded along sarcastically, being passed the bottle by Caleb. She held it aloft for a moment, eyeing it like it contained the plague. “Eugh. Here goes nothing, I guess.” She gave it a halfhearted spin, and it barely moved one full rotation before landing on none other than Wayne. She looked at him, steeled her resolve, and let out a looong sigh. “Well, let’s get this over with.”
“Aw yeah, MK! No worries, I give every smooch a hundred and ten percent.” Wayne leaned in, MK reluctantly following, and to everyone’s surprise, Wayne gave a tender and chaste kiss to her lips before she even leaned forward. It was over quickly, leaving MK blushing and Wayne leaning back smugly.
“You gotta make it quick. Leave em’ wanting more, you know?” Wayne smirked. “I save the real good ones for alone time, you know what I mean?”
MK shook her head and gagged. “Ew, oh my God. Never gonna happen in a million years, freak.” She quickly handed the bottle over to Ripper, pulling her beanie down over her face to discreetly hide her blush.
“Alright, come on now, bottle, Papa needs a new pair of LIPS!” Ripper swung the bottle wildly, and it circled the entire e group at least a dozen times, whipping around so violently that the bottle began to whistle and hum. Eventually, it sputtered to a stop in front of a girl scarfing down a hot dish with a sharp stick. Axel’s gaze slowly trailed from her meal to Ripper, and somehow, her eyes seemed even hungrier when they looked him up and down.
“Okay,” she said simply, to everyone’s shock. Axel swallowed her hot dish, wiped off her mouth, and steeled herself for the moment. “Hit me with your best shot, Alfalfa Male.” She set her plate down, crawling to the center of the circle. Ripper did his best to hide any excitement, (failing miserably), and practically shot like a roadrunner to meet her in the center. Axel opened her mouth, Ripper did the same, and…
Axel bit him on the nose. Hard. Several people gasped as Ripper let out an unholy shriek. Julia was recording the incident on her pink phone, smiling devilishly.
“OW!!!!” Ripper’s scream reverberated inside his scrunched nose, sounding nasally and congested. A giant bruise blossomed over the site of Axel’s bite already, teeth marks indented around the bridge of his nose. “SHE BID ME!!” He pointed, accusatory, as he held his nose. Thankfully, she hadn’t broken skin, because that would’ve promptly resulted in a visit to the emergency room. As it stood, Ripper’s nose was tinted blue and puffy like a smurf. The sight was amusing, and for some (Priya), vindicating.
Axel leaned back to her place in the circle, proud of herself. “Zombie-significant-other scenario number 57 gets them every time,” She smiled smugly. “You should be thanking me, I’m preparing you for the inevitable. One day, someone you love will be a zombie trying to attack you, and that’s a fact.” Everyone else shared skeptical looks with one another, though Ripper’s gaze lingered on Axel’s face…longingly.
“I don’t really think that counts as a kiss,” said Caleb, before he found himself on the business end of a skewered hot dish. “Oh, I mean uh, Ripper, looks like it’s Julia’s turn!” He leaned over, yanking the bottle from Ripper’s lap and placing it in front of Julia, who had just finished posting the livestream. She glanced at the bottle, scoffing, and barely lifted a finger to it. It spun just a little, creaking along for several long and uncomfortable seconds where almost everyone prayed to whatever deities possible to please not make me kiss Julia.
Everyone except one person, who secretly hoped, (against their own instincts of self preservation), that it would land in front of them. Whether or not that person was MK, who happened to be where the bottle spun, who’s at liberty to say? Certainly not MK, for she was blushing with far too much intensity to speak. She attempted to sputter out some level of a witty retort, but Julia beat her to it.
“Well, at least it’s not Chase. We gonna do this or what, hacker girl?” Julia issues her a challenge, smirking. “Unless you don’t want to waste your first kiss ever on little old me.” MK finally managed to respond, shifting her look of awe into a snarky grin.
“It’s not my first, and I wouldn’t miss this one for the world, buttknuckle.” MK bit back, barely missing a beat. She hoped Julia wouldn’t notice her hesitation. If she did, for once, she didn’t comment, and instead the blonde influencer leaned towards the middle of the circle. MK did the same, tentative, and their lips met briefly. And it was…wow. MK felt her heart hammering inside of her chest, threatening to explode. When she leaned back after what felt like an eternity, Julia looked completely unaffected.
“Meh.” She said, going back to texting. But…MK swore she saw just the tiniest bead of sweat run down the back of the girl’s neck. Or was he imagining it? Either way, Julia handed the bottle over to Wayne without looking up from her pink phone, texting away with one hand. Just a little bit faster than usual.
“Oh yeah, baby, Wayner’s time to shine!” Exclaimed Raj, giving Wayne a solid high-five. The blonde bro spun the bottle with the tip of his foot, sending it careening off course and into the leg of Emma, leaned up against Chase. “Oh, uh, Emma! Think your boy toy can handle me taking you to smoochville?”
Chase laughed dismissively, waving his hand at Wayne. “Pfft. As if anyone could kiss Ems better than me. She’s Chase’s Girlfriend, after all!” Everyone else winced at that. Emma herself had a wicked eye twitch, containing her rage.
“I think I’ll judge that for myself,” she practically snarled, and grappled onto Wayne. “You consent?” She said, tone assertive. Wayne nodded, and she practically stuck his tongue down her throat. Wolf whistles called from several people while others hooted and hollered. At the end of a nearly ten second period, Emma pulled off of Wayne and innocently sat beside Chase, pointedly avoiding physical touch. “Hm…I dunno, babe, Wayne wasn’t so bad!” She glanced at Chase, who seemed to be trying his hardest to seem like he didn’t care, and was failing miserably.
Wayne stood there with stars practically in his eyes, a goofy smile on his face. “That there girl can kiss, bro,” he whispered to his best bud Raj.
“It’s a shame, because her actual boyfriend kind of sucks ass,” Raj whispered back, and the two nodded, in agreement. Wayne handed the bottle over to Raj, who gave it a carefully calculated whirl, hoping it would land on Bowie. Instead, it landed just next to Bowie, on Damien. Raj glared violently in his direction. Damien let out a whistle, looking away, and subtly pushed the bottle juuust a little bit more, towards Bowie. Raj jumped in the air, whooping. “Hoot hoot! Let’s go all the way to the end zone, Bowie!” While he probably meant in terms of hockey, his cry was…a little startling.
Bowie looked alarmed, “I don’t think that means what you think it does in this contex-mmmph!” If Emma kissed Wayne with vigor, Raj kissed Bowie with ferocity. He locked his lips around Bowie’s and tangled their bodies together, fully crossing the line into make out territory. Wayne cheered his buddy on while everyone else looked shocked, disturbed, or…a little too into it (Ripper). After an incredible twenty whole seconds, Raj finally came up for air, and settled back into his spot, happy.
“…Well. That was. Wow.” Bowie was actually kissed speechless, a dark red blush blooming across his cheeks. He seemed more caught off guard than anyone else. “Well, Raj, hockey metaphors aside, you sure know what you’re doing.” Raj leaned over then, smirking, and whispered something into Bowie’s ear. Bowie actually started coughing, and then laughing to cover it up, turning so that he could be mistaken for a tomato. “Oh, haha, Raj, you’re so funny! That was a great joke that nobody else gets to hear,” Bowie spoke quickly, taking the bottle.
“Sorry, everyone, couldn’t let Emma show me up by kissing Wayner so hard. We’re competitive like that,” Raj winked at Bowie, who started coughing again. “Alright, babe, why don’t you give it a spin?” The meek and shy Raj from earlier was replaced entirely, and a confident and sure one took his place. Bowie could do nothing but follow the instruction, giving the bottle a spin. In his daze, he wasn’t careful about where he aimed it, and the bottle landed in front of…
Julia looked up from her blue phone to the bottle and let out a disgusted grunt. “Ew. Oh my god, that is absolutely never going to happen in a million years.”
“I refuse even harder than Julia did. The mere idea makes me want to wash my tongue with an abrasive sponge.” Bowie gagged.
Nichelle, who had previously applied a new layer of lip gloss while everyone wasn’t looking, glanced between the pair. “On set, when both actors are uncomfortable with the way a scene is presented, they usually have to suck it up and deal with it.”
“Well this ain’t Hollywood, sister, and I think I’d actually rather get hit by a bus than kiss Julia.” Bowie gagged again. “So, I guess we’re at an impasse.”
“Since they both refused equally, it seems only fair that they each get to ask one another a question,” Millie suggested diplomatically.
“Lots of burning questions to ask from either side,” Nichelle agreed.
“Burning? Where?” Scary Girl looked around, excited. Ignoring her pyromania, Bowie went ahead and drew first blood from Julia, asking her a tough question.
“Alright, Julia…my question for you. Why bother pretending at all? Why not just be your vicious self from the get-go, especially since you didn’t have the self-control to hold it in for long anyway?” Bowie questioned.
“That raptor so had it coming!” She snapped, before rolling her eyes. “And, again, stupid question. I thought since everyone is soo sensitive snowflakey these days, I’d get more followers if I acted like some earth guru happy sunshine girl. Clearly, I underestimated how many people are sick of the status quo of social media,” Julia snickered.
“Girl, you did not just pull out the ‘snowflake’ card.” Bowie scoffed. “And…that’s it? Really? You weren’t bullied for your first account name as a child or anything? Nobody doxxed you, made you evil?”
Julia laughed in Bowie’s face. “Oh my god, you think I’m some secret heart of gold type! The wounded warrior with angel wings hidden behind devil horns? I didn’t think you were the type to care!” She feigned a heartfelt wipe of a tear from her eye, before laughing again, a cruel edge to it. “No wonder you lost to a girl as naive as Priya. You’re no better!”
Priya shot Julia with a deadly glare and Bowie’s expression soured as Julia continued to giggle hysterically. Bowie let out a huff, “Just ask me your damn question.”
Julia wiped a tear from her eye, still trying to stifle her giggling fit. “Okay…okay, mister heart of gold, do YOU feel bad about what you did to Millie and Priya? Be honest.” She stared Bowie down, like she knew he’d caught him. And Bowie squirmed for a moment under the pressure, sweat heading down his forehead. Everyone’s eyes were trained on him, and he didn’t care about most of them, but seeing Raj look at him was enough to make his stomach somersault.
Raj winked at him, and he knew what he had to say.
“Hah! Sorry? Over that? Don’t make me laugh,” Bowie flexed his wrist, looking over his nails. “It was light work, no reaction.” Millie and Priya looked newly renewed with fury directed at him, and everyone else seemed to glower in his direction as well. Raj gave him a sheepish grin, like he’d expected that response from Bowie all along, but could work with it.
“Oh, you think I’m light work?” Priya practically snarled, hopping up to his face. “We’ll see if you still feel that way next season when I kick your butt to the curb a SECOND time!”
Bowie frowned, shoving his finger into her shoulder. “You know for a fact that you got lucky. And everyone’s luck runs out eventually.” He leaned back as Priya began to steam, though Millie rubbed her back and began to calm her down. Thankfully, a fight was avoided, and the game could continue. Bowie rolled his eyes a final time, sliding the bottle over to Damien. Damien took it, teeth chattering from his nerves.
“I mean…how bad could this possibly go, right?” Damien laughed. Nobody laughed with him, stewing in their anger and frustration. Seeing that nothing would lighten the mood, he gave the bottle a whirl. It spun around, whistling softly, the glass clinking against the cabin floor. It didn’t stop on Priya, which disappointed Damien a little, until he remembered that she didn’t seem to want to be kissed anyway. He was sad that it didn’t stop on Emma, because Wayne had been gushing about her kissing skills. He was even disappointed when it didn’t land on Zee, because that would’ve been a fun party choice. But when it stopped, his blood turned to ice in his veins.
Lauren clapped her hands gleefully as the bottle came to a rigid and almost supernatural stop smack dab in the middle of her person. “Oh, yippie!” She giggled innocuously. “I was worried I wouldn’t get a chance to kiss anyone…”
Damien let out a squeak and looked around the circle frantically. “Hey. you guys see this, too, right? You’re not gonna let this happen to me, are you?!”
“Aww, Damien, you’re hurting my feelings.” seethed Lauren, her neck cracking ominously.
“Sorry bud, it landed on her fairsies and squarsies.” Wayne shrugged sheepishly.
“Yeah, nothing we can do for you, man. That’s the way the universe rolls, brah.” Zee took a sip from his soda.
“Maybe it won’t be as bad as you’re thinking?” Offered Emma, giving him an encouraging smile. “C’mon, you can give her a chance!” And well, she had a point. Sure, Scary Girl was…scary, and she’d tried to kill him with a jackhammer and she also called his screams delicious and—
Okay. no, Emma didn’t have a point, this was a horrible idea. Damien shook his head fervently, as fast as he could. “No no no no no! No kissing! I. Do. Not. Trust. You!” He pointed his finger at her, accusatory. She frowned, and to Damien’s utter shock, she actually looked…hurt.
Lauren frowned deeply, “Nobody ever wants to play with me. I know I’m a little unorthodox and maybe just a little bit possessed by several demons from the time of the Titans, but does that have to make me so bad? I still have feelings! All of the other kids used to mock me, saying that nobody would ever want to play with me. I just want to know what it’s like to have normal teenage experiences! And…okay, I accept that you don’t want to kiss me. I can live with that, but, for my question, will you at least…dance with me? I’ve never danced with a living person before,” she held out her hand to Damien, and he felt his guard drop.
“…Okay. Fine. I’ll dance with you,” Damien smiled at Lauren, taking her hand gingerly. Immediately, Damien noticed a change to Lauren’s demeanor. Her deep frown vexed itself into a hideously wide smile, and her eyes seemed to dilate as the lights of the cabin began to flicker. Lauren took his hand in a vice grip, and began to drag him out of the cabin, towards the dark and encroaching forest. “What are you doing?! I said I’d dance with you, why are you dragging me to my death?! HELP!!” Damien screamed, holding onto the doorway for a moment before Lauren’s overwhelming strength ripped him out of it.
“You did, and that’s what we’re going to do, silly! I know the nicest place for a beautiful moonlit dance,” She giggled, disappearing from view with Damien’s screams echoing in the dark.
“Moonlit?!! It’s a New Moon! A NEW MOON!” He wailed, being dragged into the dark. Everyone else in the cabin looked horrified, staring out into the dark depths of the forest. Eventually, MK broke the silence.
“Well, let’s pour one out for poor Damien, may his tortured soul rest in peace.” She mimed pouring her empty glass onto the ground, standing up and heading for her bunk. “I’m gonna go try and sleep and pretend I never saw that.”
Priya looked genuinely alarmed, staring out into the forest wide-eyed. “Is anyone going to help him?? We should probably go help him, right?…” Priya paused for a moment, before leaping to her feet. “I’m going to go help him!” As she rose, Millie followed, and together the pair raced off into the night to save their borderline kidnapped friend.
“They can get possessed in the woods all they want. I’m staying right here, with light and my hot hockey boy,” said Bowie, cuddling up to Raj, who had reverted to his meek and blushing persona, turning red and giggling.
“And that’s how a game dies, I suppose. With a milk carton case and a heroic rescue.” Caleb laughed, heading to his bunk. “I like Damien, I really do, but something just isn’t right with that girl. Besides, Priya won the whole show, so surely she can handle his rescue, right?”
“Muscle head is right. He’ll be fine. Probably.” Said Ripper, standing and stretching his legs. “Well, fun game, aside from Axel attacking me like a feral animal. Toodles, nerds.” With Ripper’s exit, half of the circle was now gone, and the game seemed officially over.
With drama galore and many insightful new revelations about their reality TV peers, it was safe to say Wayne and Raj’s Spin the Bottle was a resounding success. Oh yes, next season was going to be fun. Hopefully Scary Girl didn’t traumatize poor Damien too badly, because they still needed him for it.
As each Total Drama camper began to relax and unwind into the night, one thing was certain. Wawanawkwa remained as wild as ever, and the teens who dared to brave it surely would go down in reality TV history. Who’s to say what could possibly happen next time? I guess you’ll just have to tune in. On Total…Drama…Island.