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It's the perfect summer night to head to Gunny Wynn's place. The threat of rain had skipped past the area, leaving a sunny afternoon to bleed into the night without issue. Ray manages to arrive early enough to claim some prime real estate with a spot close to the house. Not caring that it'll mean he's likely going to be stuck here until the very end. He stares up at the standard white suburan house, 2.5 kids, and a fence. Fitting that it would all end in a place like this.
Ray gets out of his car and a breeze ruffles past him. He grins as Mike Wynn steps outside the front door and engulfs him in a hug. "Good to see you, Person. Figured you'd be right behind Colbert. He's inside."
Ray laughs as he pulls back. "C'mon, Mike, you'd think I'd miss a single second of this for the world?"
Mike gives him a raised eyebrow and a slow shake of his head. "Don't cause too much trouble tonight, huh."
Ray blows him a loud, smacking kiss before moving past him toward the house with a parting pat to the back. The squeeze to his shoulder he appreciates more than he can say. He knows Mike knows. It's hard to lose a good one. Even if they've all been planning this for weeks now. Even if Ray doesn't think he's going to be too far behind the LT. He should ask how many times Mike's had to go through this.
He shakes his head as he steps inside. There's music playing, loud enough to be identifiable but you didn't have to shout to be heard. He adds his six pack of beer to the increasing number of bottles in the open cooler in the kitchen. He pulls one out for himself, twisting the top off before flipping it into the trash. He brushes the chilly condensation from the bottle against his jeans while the earthy taste of the beer settles some of the racing thoughts in his head. A significant amount of snacks cover the counters. Enough to satisfy the ravenous horde until the grill gets fired up.
He finds Brad in the living room leaned against a wall, a beer in his own hand, watching the slideshow of pictures playing across the screen. Ray slots into the space next to Brad and watches one round of the images in silence. Candids and briefings and official images and everything in between.
"You know, Ray, you ever think that this is a funeral by any other name?"
He looks at Brad sharply. "It'd crossed my mind." He pauses. "But ya know, not really. He gets his brain back and gets to do what the fuck ever he wants now. No more listening to nonsensical orders. No more wondering if his next decision, next command, gets one of us killed. Must be a relief."
Now it's Brad looking at him with that mild constipated look on his face like Ray's done something he never expected. He rolls his eyes. "C'mon, what're you staring at me like that for? You don't get drunk at funerals, you dumb motherfucker, and with all the booze in that kitchen, we're all getting plastered tonight."
"Ray, sometimes you're aren't always the dumb backwoods hick that we all think you are."
"Aww, Bradykins, that was a compliment. Now get out of that fucking enlarged head of yours and have fun. LT and Gunny ain't going to stand for that at all."
Snorting laughter has them both looking toward the front hall where Trombley and Walt round the corner. From that point the conversation is over.
***
There's a gravitational pull to the LT. Not that there hasn't been the whole time they've known him but it's more obvious tonight. It's his paddle party after all. Each and every person there has made the rounds to say their piece and the LT, Nate, has made sure to give them that moment. Ever the good leader. Even if he's leaving it all behind. Leaving them all behind.
Ray hasn't gathered the courage to have his moment yet, instead he's been making sure no one interrupts anyone else's. He should, could leave this to Mike. He's done this plenty of times, knows the playbook, probably has a handbook written on it somewhere, but Ray doesn't. He can't. Maybe it's cause he doesn't want to. Maybe it's cause he doesn't want to fill that time with his own thoughts.
He isn't the only one not wanting to say goodbye quite yet. Brad's doing the same thing. Keeping things brief and light and focused on everything but the lingering tension hanging between them. Ray's not blind. He saw the almost magnetic pull between them when they were in the sandbox. Pretty hard to miss even when Mike was glued to Nate's side more often than not.
Maybe it's command, maybe it's trust, maybe it's a lot of things Ray can't put a name to or maybe he can. He just doesn't want to. He watches as Brad makes his careful way through the ever increasingly tipsy crowd to the empty corner of the backyard deck where Nate is hanging out. He turns at that point and goes to find Walt or Poke. Just someone.
It's Mike who finds him in the living room staring at the stupid slideshow again. The paddle that had been gifted hours ago laying half covered by the tissue paper in its box on the living room table. Mike hands him a beer and says quietly after a few moments, "It doesn't have to be forever."
Ray gulps down a swallow and wipes the back of his hand across his mouth. He's too fucking sober for this. "What else is there for me, Gunny?"
"Plenty if you just let yourself see it, Person. You're not stuck in this forever. You never have been."
Mike leaves it there. Always a man of a few or no words. Letting everything else do the speaking for him. Ray can't say some days he doesn't wish that were him. Less distraction and word vomit and revealing way too much of himself through the words he can't stop himself from spewing.
He rolls the bottle between his hands again and again. His thoughts racing, racing, racing with no outlet like he had in the hell they'd left behind. No Ripped Fuel to unlock the brakes and let him process it verbally, physically, until his body and brain were both on the same page.
He doesn't know when Mike leaves but it's the casual shoulder bump that brings him out of his reverie. He looks up to see Nate's green green eyes staring back at him. He's settled into the spot next to him.
"Person."
"LT."
"It's Nate now," he says quietly. "I wanted to thank you for the slideshow and the extra details on the paddle."
They both watch the images flicker in front of them for a moment. It had taken Ray more time than he thought it would to track down all the images from everyone in the unit. He'd spent even longer pouring over which ones to put in and which ones to leave out. Brad had left it all to him. His techno wizard ass had wanted nothing to do with this and was more focused on the other aspects of the paddle party. Which had been fine with Ray. It gave him the space to get it right.
He shrugs. "Can't have someone else go fucking this up, sir. Would bring shame down on us and our ancestors."
The smile tugging at Nate's face is what he wanted even if this isn't the exact situation he wanted it in. Not that he's even sure what kind of situation that would be.
"Think I've talked to everyone but you, tonight, Ray. What gives?"
Ray snorts and throws back half of his beer. "Just don't have my brain back. Guess they gave yours back early." He squints at Nate through one eye, head cocked to the side.
"Guess so. You planning to get yours back?"
The lines on Nate's face have relaxed in a way that wasn't there back in the sandbox though he still looks more resigned to the fact he's leaving than anything else. They all lose a piece of their soul over there, huh.
"Probably planning on it. Mind if I look you up, LT, when I do?" It slips out before he can stop and it lets him watch the surprise flicker across Nate's features before it shifts into a smile that blooms on his face.
"I'd like that, Ray." There's a quiet pause. "I am going to miss you guys. I...just can't...."
He shoves the bottom of his beer bottle into Nate's chest. "Nah, don't you start. We've got Gunny Wynn and Colbert's weird ass. We'll be fine, LT. We'll manage." The shiteating grin he gives Nate doesn't feel quite genuine enough but it'll have to do in the moment. He has nothing else to offer. "Besides, the knitting circle will want to hear all about your civilian adventures."
Nate chuckles. "Is there anywhere the recon marine knitting circle can't reach?"
"Don't think you want to find out," Ray humms quietly. He can imagine Brad having a conniption fit if everyone's whereabouts weren't accounted for and, if it wasn't Brad doing the recon himself, then it would be Ray. He had more resources, anyway.
"Probably not." The noise of the party swells around them. Drunken singing floating in from the backyard along with more laughter and carousing. "It was an honor serving with you, Ray. Don't be a stranger."
"Same for you, LT." That earns him a lifted eyebrow, which he smirks at. "Can't use those command tactics on me any more."
"You wanna bet," Nate says and the challenge in his voice perks Ray's interest real hard. Those green eyes are glinting at him like hard glass.
"Just how drunk are you?"
Nate purses his lips as he ducks his head then drags his thumb across his lips. "Where I'll still remember this in the morning." He stares into Ray's eyes, chin rising in challenge. "What about you?"
"Sober as a skunk on a trunk."
"Person, that makes no sense. So...normal for you then."
Ray bares his teeth in a grin. "Mmhm." He loops his arm around Nate's shoulder, shaking him lightly, as he drags them away from the wall and through the kitchen toward the backyard. "Enough time being maudlin. You're the star of the party. Time to get us both more drunk."
He whoops and hollers to let everyone else know to get the shots ready. There was some serious lacking on the alcohol front and they needed to remedy that. He wasn't sure if anyone else was sober enough to hear him though if the cheering was to go by, they agreed with the sentiment.
Ray tugs Nate to a stop before they step out on the deck. "I'll look you up in a couple days, Nate, and we'll see how good you are at keeping your word."
"I'll be looking forward to it," Nate says. His gaze locks with Ray's a long moment. The green catches the yellow of the backyard lights and glow with something Ray doesn't want to hold too tightly to. Ray watches him step out and be immediately swarmed by some of the guys probably for the last time. This is one thing Ray will be following up on when they all wake up from the hangover.